#and it SUCKS cause i do think back in 2020 and the like he wanted to look out for people and help them

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

[yuttikkele]

oh my gosh?? there's mcyt drama that I am just now finding out about??? am I out of the building (/snapcube fandub ref)????

[kaythefloppa]

MUFASA: THE LION KING LIVEBLOG/THOUGHTS [SPOILERS]

Today, Mufasa: The Lion King has released worldwide in theaters. Within the hours of being unleashed upon the world as the latest entry in the Lion King franchise and in the Disney movie lineup, the movie has become available online.

As someone who has been anticipating this film since the day it was greenlit in September of 2020, now I can finally watch it to see if it was worth the hype, if it succeeds my expectations, or if it sucks (it does not).

Also, I should preface this by saying that I am not walking in semi-blind. I was not immune to spoilers, some of which I voluntarily exposed myself to, others were stumbled upon without any warning or disclaimer, but this is still my full thoughts on the film as I watch it for the first time in proper.

SPOILERS BELOW.

I think anyone and their grandma can see Pride Rock next to the Disney castle in the opening. It's not really much to say, but in this movie specifically, I smile noticing it.

It was announced that the film would pay tribute to James Earl Jones in the opening. I was not surprised by that, and I definitely shouldn't be surprised hearing his archived recordings in the opening but... goddamn.

LEBO M HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU. Much like in the original and Simba's Pride, he is the first voice you hear in the story and god it fits.

A lot of people have pointed out how unlike the 2019 remake of TLK, this film has a wide array in emotions, expressions, and life, focusing more on actually being an animated story rather than being a nature documentary (eat it John Favereau). This entire opening solidifies that fact and I think this bears repeating as to what one of this film's biggest strengths are.

SIMBA HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!

People have made comparisons to Narnia and Jungle Book when it comes to everything the remake got wrong. I'm making those comparisons to praise this movie specifically, I'm getting those vibes.

Nala is out here doing what we all should be doing; Touching grass.

Also Simba and Nala really be out here making long distance work. I love them so f*cking much and I hate hate hate how we're not going to see much of them in the story [for reasons that are perfectly valid, especially if you know how the movie ends which... we'll get to that]

I listened to the soundtrack before watching this film; It slaps so much. It's everything you would want in a theatrical Lion King sequel, so hearing it in the ACTUAL movie, that's astonishing.

Oh look... Timon and Pumbaa are here. Which is nice cause I'm a huge fan of Timon and Pumbaa (I stand by the fact that Lion King 3 is arguably the most god-tier of all Disney sequels) but.... Seth Rogan warthog..

"And that one three-legged zebra." Fuck that's actually pretty dark and I love it.

Kiara exists in this film. I was at first upset that they were retreading earlier ground but... I'm cool with it now. Not exactly what I would've done, but I can nod heads with it.

I get that Timon and Pumbaa overexaggerate things (a later joke in the film would confirm that) but I don't see why Simba is against the idea of them telling her stories. I think any child would be okay with that, even with the circumstances happening. Then again, this could be an indicator of Simba's paranoia and fearing that Kiara could go through the same thing. Jesus, no matter what universe this guy is in he is still traumatized, got-damn.

Oh wait I take it back I fucking love that Kiara is in this film, she is adorable.

Simba really had a glow-up from having a kid.

We all knew that Timon and Pumbaa fighting Scar in the trailers was just them fucking around, so I don't need to comment more on this. I will point out how one of my predictions for the remake was seeing Pumbaa defend Simba from Scar seeing as how warthogs can often square up against lions in real life. So, even in the context of a Timon and Pumbaa joke that makes zero sense, I'm still vindicated.

As someone who had an INTENSE fear of thunder and lightning as a child and.... still has somewhat of an aversion thereof as an adult, I can very much resonate with Kiara's reaction to the storm.

"We sing that song for 6 years straight." I'm going to ignore that line just so that I can continue to headcanon Lion King characters aging by humans (I am coping and seething rn)

RAFIKI HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Rafiki in this film reminds me of my grandfather I cannot stop smiling every time he goes on screen, I want to hug him.

"Ceremonial birthing grounds" Holy SHIT I was not expecting such lore early on. Bravo Berry Jenkins.

John Kani is KILLING this role as Rafiki. I would easily use this as another opportunity to dunk the remake but I'm too distracted by how good this performance is and how it fits the character so well. I'm the furthest thing from a Disney shill, but I would unoequivcally watch a four-season prequel spin-off series about Rafiki if one ever came out, and I have this goddamn movie to blame.

This is gonna be a running theme but Rafiki has some of the best lines in this movie. What the fuck was Jenkins smoking and can I have it? /pos.

They played the This Land theme whilst Kiara talks about how she could never be brave like her granddad and father. The parallels....

Aand here we go, Mufasa backstory time! I mean, you'd have to ignore the three existing backstories that already exist but then again, all of them suck ass," so here we fucking goooooooo.

I really dislike when movies use "moons" as a time indicator because like, what does that mean? Does it literally mean a lunar cycle of nearly 30 days? Months? Years? I'm thinking way too much into this aren't I?

YEAAAH TITLE CARD BABEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY. WE ARE SO FUCKEN BAACK.

Goddamn I remember that one frame of Mufasa and his parents being released and it was so stupid. It looks even dumber seeing it to motion but damn it it looks so cute in a way!

Aww, look at how much Mufasa loves his parents. I hope these characters survive all the way to the end of the film without any major catastroph-yeah no, I can't even fucking finish it.

Milele is a good enough song with the vocals, but the visuals are really what hammer it home for me. The wide arrays of gold, pinks, purples, and greens, it brings life into this world, showcases the beauty of Africa, and emphasizes the dreamy aspect of the song. Also, you get Keith motherf*cking David singing in a Lion King movie, game respects game.

Also the T(He)y Lives in You reference was very well put together.

Mufasa chasing a butterfly being a reference to Kiara chasing a butterfly in Simba's Pride!!

I already knew Mufasa's father was gonna die in this but seeing him play with Mufasa, goddamn you Disney. Your never-ending patricide may be predictable, but it will never not tug my heart-strings.

I don't know who this giraffe is but I love them already.

Man, we've really come a long way since Simba's blank expression at the stampede, huh? Nature is fucking healing.

DAM(N)

Bisexual lighting in the water spotted.

You can hear Nants Ingonyama when Mufasa is submerged underwater! Deep cut.

Honestly, the hippos just glancing at Mufasa and swimming past him is hilariously dickish and it makes me forgive how they haven't immediately chomped him /j

Here's Taka (UGGGGGHHH ~ Sorry, I had to get that one out, they could've chosen any other name for him)

From day 1, Scar has always been a little shit lmao.

This doesn't mean anything on any scale, but I would've replaced the crocodiles with hippos. Would've been more scary.

Taka getting Mufasa up is directly contrast to how he will eventually kill him. This movie is going to try and yank my heart-strings out of my chest won't it?

"All important nap of kings." Bro's just like me fr.

Oh wait god I take it all back he's not like me fr HE'S NOT LIKE ME FR.

If I had a nickel for every recent piece of Lion King media that depicts cannibalism with the subtlety of a chainsaw to the pelvis, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot but WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE 2 FUCKING NICKELS?!?!?! TWO!?!?

"Do you know what Mufasa means? It means King!" Erhm actually, Mufasa has no direct meaning in Swahili. It's a mix between Mfalme (which is the direct Swahili translation for "King" and the last pre-colonial King of Buganda called Mutisa. Obasi's clearly got his lions crossed. *cinemasins ding*

I love how Mufasa is clearly laughing and joking around as this adult lion is actively trying to fucking murder him. Either he is that oblivious to the danger that he is in, or he is actively trolling this asshole. If it's the latter, or even both, I love it.

I have a feeling that Obasi has actually murdered other outsider cubs before, or maybe even succeeded in sabotaging their initiation rituals so he can eat them. I get that the whole "lions killing cubs that aren't their own" is a part of nature but apply human behavior to that and you can see how sick this is. Not to mention, Taka would have probably been in proxy to these and... shit, no wonder he turned out to be a nasty piece of work.

Oh so THIS is the challenge that Scar was mentioning in the remake.

The PTSD flashbacks jumpscared me.

Oh my god the close up of Mufasa... peak fucking fiction.

Omg that one scene in the trailer of Mufasa leaping from the tree is in the movie- aaaand he is going ass over teakettle afterwards lmao.

The little "I Always Wanted a Brother" instrumental playing when Taka helps Mufasa out of the water🥺

"You will keep him with the females" oh that's not.....

The entiredy of "I Always Wanted a Brother" is amazing. The lyrics cleverly delve into Scar and Mufasa's individual personalities and traits that'll magnify in their adulthood, as well as their growing relationship, and the visuals feel alive as ever with the chorus and beat topping it all off. Lin Manuel Miranda cooked here and I am not afraid to admit it. This song is the best in the entire movie and is everything one would look for in a Lion King prequel. No wonder the marketing loved this song so much.

Also, Mufasa: The Lion King proudly continues the tradition of A) musical numbers with background animal choreography and B) transitions to show characters aging. We truly have come full Circle [Of Life]

Ok but this entire song is way funnier when it's essentially these animals saying "Get your ass back home" to these two little shits.

"Some things you chase but you cannot hold." That line is DEFINITELY a double-meaning and applies to both brothers. For Taka, it refers to how he can't keep/gain the power he obtains + the object of his desires as much as he tries and for Mufasa, it means he won't be able to maintain the relationship with his adoptive brother. The failure to practice this philosophy leads to both of their downfalls so what is at first a cute lyric becomes very dark in retrospect and I have to applaud the songwriter if he was intentional with that.

Ok so if Obasi doesn't allow outsiders and since he values blood and all, then I'm assuming these other male lions are related to him. I'm gonna guess that they're his brothers and/or cousins.

The animals singing in a circle around Mufasa and Taka reminds me a lot of high school dance circles, it's very funny (and also sweet that the animals and Taka are singing for Mufasa).

You heard of the boy who cried wolf; Well here's the lion who cried elephant. (Also, 10/10 prank).

"They did it [the prank] again!" I think the saying goes, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Also I was half-expecting an ACTUAL elephant stampede to knock them down, ;p

"You want to be with the females?" I have no jokes for this, I am legitimately disgusted with how mysoginistic Obasi is and yeah, that's definitely the point, but like, I was NOT expecting that. I guess maybe they needed to emphasize how Taka had such a shitty role model growing up and that a large part of his fall to darkness was not learning how sick and wrong this line of thinking is, and objectively that is good writing when handling such a topic, especially since again, the movie is very much against this and to a lesser degree, it's an origin story I guess I'm just taken by surprise at the sudden mysoginy, and at the end of the day, did we really need this character to be a PodcastBro™ to get the idea that he's not supposed to be someone we root for? Or is it really not that deep and I'm thinking too much into this?

Eshe is such a good mother to Mufasa, helping him home into his senses to hunt, and even offering to help Mufasa find his parents. I think this is a good contrast between Mufasa and Taka when it comes to the nurture part of nature vs. nurture. It's also an interesting mirror to the fan-portrayals of their relationships with their parents as it's usually Taka/Scar being close to his mother and Mufasa being close to his father.

I see a lot of Tarzan similarities here and I think you can notice them well. That being said, Tarzan is also peak fiction that I look fondly towards, and this movie is also looking really good so far, so there is nothing but adoration.

Timon and Pumbaa reacting to Mufasa's line of being a stray with no responsibilities, calling him "one of us" all but confirms that if he was still alive today, they would 100% be friends.

"Hakuna Mufasa" essentially means "There is no Mufasa." I.e. what a good chunk of Simba's childhood was like. Shit, I'm pretty sure Rafiki even knew the fucked up implications of that when he interrupted them.

Timon and Pumbaa I love you but please shut the fuck up right now.

I think everyone has made the Kimba jokes, so I'm just going to say how two white lions would NOT stand out in a sea of tall tannish green grass.

This entire hunting scene is the definition of tension. No dialogue, just music.

Oh, the trailers outright baited us into thinking Eshe was gonna sacrifice herself to save Mufasa. Well played Disney.... well played.

Damn, Taka is horrified as shit.

Go for the juglar Mufasa! The jugular!!

The framing of the scene goes by quick, but I think the implication is that Kiros's son got straight up impaled by one of the branches on the dead tree when Mufasa knocked him down... we're only half an hour into this 2 hour film and we already have a kill count of 3 characters, one of which by the titular.

Ngl, I was hoping/expecting Mufasa to be the aggressor in the fight to try and scare off the lions and this would be how he learns that "being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble." And/or that Eshe potentially sacrificing herself would be what gives him that reality check. But either way, as is, this fight scene did demonstrate bravery as a quality of Mufasa in a good way.

"I owe you a great debt" yeah you also owe him an apology for refusing to take any parental custody over him, for the emotional neglect, for your misogyny-driven alienation of him, and oh yeah, trying to FUCKING CANNIBALIZE HIM.

I mean in fairness to the white lion, what the fuck was he supposed to do? Mufasa LITERALLY impaled Sachu.

Obasi lying to protect Taka reminds me of Rameses offering to lie to absolve Moses of his murder. Also, once again, this scene does very well to point out how Taka's upbringing played a role in his eventual fall from grace without making him an abused woobie stripped of any character.

I was gonna complain about how the Outsiders are a thing in this movie but the fact that they are evidently not Zira's pride and also have an explanation to their existence makes it hard to complain.

Ok so the first act of the film is kinda rushed, I'll admit that. Guess they had to go on the journey pretty quick.

So far, Timon and Pumbaa's commentary has ranged from somewhat funny to cringeworthy. Why exactly are they involved in this plot? Or, if they had to be, why not Sarabi and Zazu who actually partook in this story we're being told. You could get alot of colorful dynamics that would add both extra comedy and emotion to the story. I'm getting this out of the way now because even though there's a later scene that is juxstaposed to this, it still confuses me a bit.

"Yours is the last pride of the valley of kings" woah, that actually means Kiros has killed other prides before. This is straight up the lion equivalent of imperialism.

"Everything the light touches belongs to me," well what about when it's dark out? Ever thought of that, asshole? Obasi could easily lawyer up and kick your ass back to the swamp /j

"There will be one ruler. One, Lion King." He said it, he said the thing!

Not gonna lie, Kiros's villain song, Bye-Bye sounds like it was pulled from Jake and the Never Land Pirates. But then again, that show's soundtrack is fucking awesome, as is this film's soundtrack, as is this song. The vocals and lyrics are deliciously villainous and the beat is haunting. My only gripe is that it's too short, and the movie's version of the song doesn't include the background vocals like the soundtrack version. That and the visuals aren't as stunning as I imagined but, still, it's a good villain song! And for a song titled "Bye-Bye" of all things that is a feat.

Man, I thought I was actually gonna see Kiros kill Obasi and Eshe. I mean it's obvious that he did but, showing it on screen would've really hammered home the idea that he doesn't mess around. But instead we smash cut to the brothers running away. LAME!!!!!!!

"They live in you now" oh that hits so hard.

Aquaphobic Mufasa canon???

"It's not my fault crocodiles are simply attracted to you," tell me why my mind instantly went to a visual of Pua x Mufasa (and why I can somehow buy that???)

"My scent? I've been stalking you two all night." Sarabi how I have missed you.

ZAZU HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Sarabi royalty confirmed.

I once saw a theory that Rafiki (a mandrill) was raised by baboons, which explains why he has no qualms with being called one, and gives a new perspective to his phrase "you're a baboon, and I'm not." To whoever came up with that theory, you are a goddamn prophet.

Again, I think all of this goes by way too fast, I think a few more minutes establishing this troop along with Rafiki's character traits and behaviors and THEN hitting us with the tragic fall-out would've worked a lot better.

"Born with a leg that does not work," that explains the walking stick he has in the movie.

"It was Rafiki who found water in the dry season!" Six New Adventures reference!

Rafiki is fucking hilarious.

''A single stick may smoke, but it will never burn." Once again, Rafiki is the best fucking character in this entire film.

Did... Zazu just break the fourth wall???

"I am not a baboon. I am a mandrill." It took us 30 fucking years for a Lion King movie to address this, god bless.

"No offense, but a monkey is a monkey," Mufasa racist moment /j

Rafiki and Mufasa's discussion at the pool is so good. Once again, it has that natural Lion King narrative DNA in it and it speaks a lot about both characters as part of an origin story. Both characters are very heavy key players in the classic Lion King stroy, so this scene does them a GREAT deal of justice.

"I have a report! It's morning." Ok, funny joke.

"Hallucinating baboon!" Sarabi racist moment /j

This plot really knows how to connect together, via using Eshe's sensory training to help dodge Kiros's team.

We Go Together is an amazing song. It's very good for a road-trip/buddy movie, and, not unlike Hakuna Mtata from the original, is a very good palatte cleanser from the story's more darker elements. The characters have enough time to shien in their own ways and the overlaps of their lyrics is kinda growing on me. I substract points for the stupid-ass love triangle bit they imply and trust me, we will get to that when we get to that.

You know that one scene in kids' shows and movies where it is nothing but unabashed second-hand embarassment and/or cringe. The entire scene where Mufasa gives Taka love advice for Sarabi, and Taka's attempts to kiss-up to her is exactly that. If it's not completely uncomfortable to listen to, it's BO-RING. And I wish it was just a one-off gag that meant fuck-all in the end but I've listened to the soundtrack and got spoilered on a later element in the film that just does not help.

Seeing the elephant herd reminds me of when my sister and I were in Africa and saw an entire herd, moms and their babies pass by. On that same vacation, my grandpa and I also saw an elephant pass the road. Huge disclaimer, never piss them off.

Sarabi rendered an entire colony of bees homeless and more than likely killed a good amount of elephants by getting them stung. That's not very Circle of Life of her.

Mufasa saving Sarabi's life!! That man is her HUSBAND.

Ah yes, the epic tale of Rafiki's stick. The mythos of the stick has finally been revealed. This is the REAL Lion King lore I signed up for. Barry Jenkins you are too good.

On one hand Mufasa lying to make Taka look good is an interesting character study. On the other hand.... that stupid fucking love triangle that this builds up to. I hate it so much, SO MUCH. Replace the payoff with ANYTHING ELSE, and I'd be okay with this. Ugh!

Rafiki, Kiara, Timon, and Pumbaa's hug is great. Rafiki explaining the sad reality of social alienation, relating it to his experiences, followed up by Timon and Pumbaa lightening the mood but adding to that emotion with them being outsiders. I knew it wouldn't be long until I started to love them being in this film. Take your crown you kings, you earned it!

Oh my god Mufasa has hella PTSD here, it's a really good representation of it.

Zazu's a real one here, covering up the tracks.

I. Fucking. Love. Rafiki.

"Mufasa, I gotch'u." I headcanon those were Sarabi's wedding vows. No one can prove me wrong.

I thought Mufasa and Sarabi's romance would be a bit rushed here and to be fair... it almost does??? It's not the whole center of the story, and Sarabi is able to stand out as a character on her own outside of the love story. As for their love story itself, it's very well put together with enough screentime and it feels real. Oh and their love song is also pretty great. We were WELL overdue with a Mufasa/Sarabi love song and this movie did not fail to deliver.

Also, Sarabi figuring out on her own that Mufasa saved her and being able to pick up on all of his genuinely best qualities, that's like really impressive, and it's actually a neat twist on the 'liar revealed' trope.

Okay, now here's my allotted time to talk about one of the things I was dreading seeing in this film and am unfortunate enough to be right seeing. The stupid Mufasa/Scar/Sarabi love-triangle. I hate it. I hate how one of the only major changes the remake had to its story was adding that love triangle to give 'depth' to the characters, when in reality, it diminished the characters by not having more for the story to speak about them, made the tension between them flat by consequence, and the remake never resolves this in a meaningful way. Plus it is BORING as hell. And now the movie is apparently using that same love triangle once again, as a MAJOR plot-point. Not only that, but the fact that Taka immediately snaps and goes villain after seeing his crush go after his brother... what the hell are ya even doing man?

The first act of the film gives us a lot of elements to go off of for his villain arc. Being spoiled by his parents, poor parental influence, being a control freak, maybe we see more signs that Taka blames Mufasa for his parents getting killed, or holds him responsible for it, or heck, even his guilt/inferiority complex that stems from the trauma of running away when his mother was in a life-or-death situation. So many other things that could result in a complex but constructive beginnings of a villain, and yet it's this stupid underbaked love triangle, this one isolated moment that changes the trajectory of his entire character arc and oh my god I hate it, I hate it so much. Nevertheless, Brother Betrayed is a good song.

Seeing Taka throw a tantrum over his crush not liking him back and later falling into the snow is cathartic as hell. I want to see this little turd lose.

So he teams up with the white lions... after they killed both his parents and caused him to be banished from his home... not to mention, they tried to kill him?? Unless he's tricking them somehow so he could get close enough to take them out, this is incredibly stupid. I don't care if this snivelling little shit gets punched in the face, but also as is, this is bad writing.

Taka laying out scars to lead the villains to their location. Now THAT is clever foreshadowing.

Pumbaa your husband is right next to you, why are you pretending not to like love 😭😭😭

That is a cool ass background.

The shots of the Pride Lands matching the visions of Milele. This movie knows how to use its visuals.

Man I remember all the theories saying that the big tree in Milele was the Tree of Life from the Lion Guard, or that somehow Milele was always Mufasa's adopted home. Still, magnificent.

I think all of us could predict Rafiki and Mufasa having a brotherly bond. I like how the theme of this movie involves family in ways other than biological relation. I think the brotherhood theme could've been used with Zazu as well, but this is sooooooo cuuuteee!!!

Wait how do the animals know the Outsiders are hunting Mufasa? Did the Outsiders terrorize Milele before? Did they somehow 'sense' the Outsiders' presence like Eshe taught Mufasa to? I like where this is going but there's no reason for them to have that much frame of reference to our protagonists' plight.

Kiros is truly horrifying.

"There are other lions here," wait, so maybe they're members of Sarabi's pride? Hmmm....

"Sarabi chose you... just like my mother, just like my own father." Uhm,,, what??? Obasi never 'chose' Mufasa for anything over Taka. And Mufasa was assigned to Eshe by Obasi. Sure, the dude may have looked Mufasa in a higher regard after the rescue but that is NOT the equivalent of preference? In fact, the very last thing Obasi said to Taka was to preserve the bloodline by outright lying to everyone. Did I miss something??

Hell yeah fight fight fight.

Is... IS THAT SARAFINA AND A YOUNG NALA IN THE PRIDE LANDS??? HOLY SHIT.

Mufasa uniting the animals together in a war rally... PEAK FICTION. This entire speech is peak levels of badass.

Mufasa said Nants ingonyama bagithi. The opening lines to Circle of Life HOLY FUCK BARRY JENKINS COOKED.

Only a villain like Kiros can make the phrase "Bye-Bye" sound menacing.

Zazu be out here using 0.001% of his full power.

W shoebill character (still sad that there's no caracal yet).

I think Zazu could offer a lot more in the final battle, like say, rallying the birds together and raining hell upon the lionesses, poking them with sticks or dropping rocks. He's gotten a decent enough amount of screentime but this climax should've really brought it home.

BEAT HIS ASS MUFASA. BEAT. HIS. MOTHER. FUCKING. ASS.

Okay, fine, give Taka some brownie points for standing in the way, but he still fucking deserves that scar. Fuck you Taka.

Also, the remake implies that Mufasa gave Scar his scar in the challenge, but it never outright said so, and TLK has always been a loose cannon when it came to... well, canon; So I can buy Kiros giving him the scar. I actualy can't believe that my prediction on Taka taking the bullet for Mufasa actually came true! Mark that off the bingo card!!!

The entire climax/stand-off/showdown has little to no dialogue and BY GOD does it ever work here. Mufasa and Taka looking at each other with clear emnity in their eyes, and then channeling all of their rage into their common foe to tag-team him. So much emotion.

"The earth will shake." LET. HIM. COOK.

And scratch "Pride Rock being formed by and earthquake that crushes the villain" off the bingo card.

Mufasa overcoming his water trauma by remembering Eshe's words to sense the rock that he'll use to crush Kiros into the water.

Ok y'all say it with me: Bye Bye Kiros!

I know this is a big emotional moment that shows the last of Taka's humanity and parallels with his first and last encounter with Mufasa.... but the HESITATION to help him, mixed with the clear anger at the beginning would've been enough to make me banish the dick.

See, Mufasa became king after proving his worth of leadership. There is no "he stole the throne/his brother's girlfriend" BS. You Buzzneed nerd-wannabees can fuck off now.

Oh look, I see some hyenas in the crowd. I wonder what their origin stories will be in this Lion King prequel!

"No more Kings, we are all one," setting aside TLK 2 reference, Mufasa is based for implying a democracy.

Are.... are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! AFIA IS ALIVE???!!! MUFASA'S MOM IS ALIVE!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!

Ok I'm conflicted. On one end, I don't like the fake-out death trope, especially when it's used at the end of films. On the other hand... Afia's presence really ties the themes and plot of 'Milele' together and it ~ really works. But still, imagine if Mufasa was visited by the spirit of his mother after becoming king, mirroring Mufasa's later divine intervention for his son. That would've worked so much better. Wasted potential af.

Also, if Afia's alive... who was the lion in the stars Mufasa saw during "I Always Wanted a Brother."

Oh... OH. OH GOD. MY HEART. R.I.P. MASEGO.

Whilst I still think keeping Afia dead would've been more effective, leaving Masego dead and keeping her alive adds an element of tragedy into the story, and the "He Lives in You" callback is well-equipped here.

Fuck you Taka you little shit.

I always took issue with the remake's backstory for Scar implying that he got his scar in a fight with Mufasa; Because if Scar already challenged Mufasa once, why does Mufasa trust him enough to depend on him or let his son romp around the place near him, even if he sticks around bc of "brotherhood." Whilst I don't mind that the remake 'retconned' that story (especially since it wasn't confirmed), I still take issue with that here; Again, if Taka had lied to Kiros, or did something to indicate that he wasn't on his side/wasn't truly against Mufasa, or if Taka could lie his way out of consequences, it would work, but as is, this just feels... off.

Also, Scar calling himself scar as a reminder of his embarassment and what he did, despite him continuing to do awful things rendering that admission completely null and void; it sucked when the books did it, it sucks here.

Maybe the real Milele were the friends we made along the way.

Mufasa's coronation is powerful, and blends well with Kiara's ascension. My only problem is the same problem I had with the remake. The roar came TOO EARLY. In the original's King of Pride Rock, Simba's ascension was concurrent with the swelling of the music, reaching its peak when he reached Pride Rock's peak, and then when Simba roared, that's when the music delved into Busa, which meshed into the reprise of Circle of Life. The remake fucks that up badly, and Mufasa, whilst still better in terms of that detail in pacing, still manages to miss that mark. So close... and yet so far...

Kiara can now Skype call her grandfather. The Circle is now truly complete.

"Kiara, this is your new brother." I... was kinda hoping the film would end with Simba and Nala adopting a new cub and said cub would bond with Kiara the way that Mufasa and Taka used to, and that said cub would be a girl but........ fine, fine. Also, I am 99% sure that cub is Kion. With how Disney recently uploaded The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar onto their YouTube channel in honor of Mufasa, and with how next year is The Lion Guard's 10th anniversary, meaning they'd HAVE to make another large acknowledgement of it, I am more than definitely subscribing to the fact that it is Kion. And... yeah I'm pretty cool with it (if it's Kopa, I will go into hibernation).

Kiara telling her brother the story is a neat way to wrap up this story in a bow.

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The animals actually emote and express in this movie. Not only that, but the backgrounds and impressive technology are allowed to go all out in strength. We have come a long way. I hope to god the animators get their rents due, especially in an era where animation and animators are constantly getting the middle finger by companies and corporations.

This movie takes a lot of good ideas and executes them brilliantly. Mufasa being an orphan, Sarabi and Zazu being a team, Taka/Scar being descended from a bloodline, the white lions, EVERYTHING about Rafiki. It truly feels original. Regardless as to whether or not it's canon, it's an interesting exploration of the world we know and love, done by people who really understand the movie.

The songs are amazing. Lin Manuel Miranda did his absolute best for them and they manage to serve the plot and characters pretty well. LMM is a pretty hit or miss guy when it comes to music. Sometimes he can flop and we get shit like Scuttlebutt, but other times he hits the bull's eye and we get stuff like Moana, Encanto, and Mufasa. He was on his A-game tonight.

The voice acting had actual direction unlike the remake. The actors had a lot of fun behind the scenes and it's very easy to tell, even without the interviews. And the singing *cheff's kiss.*

CONS:

This movie tries very hard in a lot of directions, but there are some areas where it doesn't really try hard enough. I feel like a few things were a bit underdeveloped. For example, Rafiki's exile. Just, stretch that scene out 3-4 more minutes to establish Rafiki as a character, his traits, the nature of his baboon tribe, and THEN banish him. Or Taka's relationship with Obasi, maybe do a bit more to commentate on the toxic values that Taka grew up with and how they stuck with him, maybe that is one of the things that hints to him not being worthy of the throne, compared to Mufasa's more progressive influence and proaction. Anything besides that stupid fucking love triangle. And maybe some more Sarabi/Zazu backstory, we get to truly see the closeness between them, maybe Sarabi saves Zazu, and vice versa during the climax. What they do with them is fine, but, there was room for more.

Timon and Pumbaa had some good scenes here but also some duds. At the end of the day, they provide some interesting commentary and jokes to lighten the mood but... I think their humor could've been improved upon, especially with how Pumbaa acts too much like Timon and that kinda breaks the whole idea of them being polar opposites. If Disney ever does make a live-action remake of The Lion King 3 (and you bet your ass they will)... they really gotta change how they're utilizing these two.

I know I went on about how this movie's strengths are regardless of canon, especially with how it contradicts both the original and the remake, but there were some parts where I couldn't fully suspend my disbelief, even if you shut canon out of the window. Like, the lionesses we see in the climax helping Sarabi. Is Sarafina amongst them? If not, who? If the cub isn't Nala, who is it? If the cub is Nala, why does she look like she's Simba's age, yet she looks no older than Simba when he's a grown cub? Even if you age them naturally like IRL animals, those numbers still don't add up. And the hyenas. They appear at the end during Mufasa's coronation and bow. Okay... what did they do to get banished or become enemies? I know the story couldn't have shown too much focus over them but why have them there only to gloss over it if it didn't mean much of anything? Not only that, but the hyenas fucking bow down to Mufasa. I'm sorry- BOW??? IN WHAT UNIVERSE???? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE???? What kind of KFP 4 Lord Shen bullshit is going on here? My suspension of disbelief can only go so far before it is utterly decimated😭😭

The pacing can be a bit better. Some things overall do go on too fast (which results in my first point as to how things can be undercooked, it's a sympton of the issue) or in the case of other scenes like Taka trying to rizz up Sarabi... go on for way too long. It doesn't horrifically bog down the film and there are many, many, many scenes where the pacing is to this movie's advantage, but it could do better in some areas.

Sarabi and Zazu were nowhere to be found in the present day. Unless you count one of those lionesses walking her and her son back home, but still.... HATRED. Is Sarabi not allowed to live past the TLK 1 story???? Is this Disney's subtle way of killing her off, what the FU-

Final Thoughts:

This movie was always destined to be better than The Lion King 2019, but only because of the low bar. A good concept can go along way as long as there is a good execution (there was a lot of potential for the remake, but the management of it lead to an utter waste of a film).

For years I prayed for this film not to suck - with each and every update that this film had, I would manifest that it wouldn't be shit, bare mininum - bc it's a film that SHOULDN'T suck with how good of a concept they had in their hands and how EVERYTHING for this film relied on the execution, especially coming off the heels of an awful film that, like I said, lowerred the bar below the Marianas Trench.

And, despite some of my earlier gripes, nitpicks, and critiques, - I was right.

THIS MOVIE DID NOT SUCK.

Does it have flaws? Yes. Is it perfect? No. Is it as good as the original? Definitely no. But it... it truly is something to behold, and a masterpiece nonetheless that, if anything, will not fail to entertain. With really good writing, nice songs, relatable and interesting characters, a very engaging story, and is [mostly] serviceable as an origin story for some of these characters, canon or otherwise. I am most likely gonna get a lot of people to disagree with me but that's what I stand by. Overall, worth the four year long wait (4 years, fucking really..?). At worst, it's decent, and at best, it's amazing.

FINAL RANKING: 8/10

The movie's opening weekend has only just begun, and reviews and meandering in very opposite directions, but if and when this movie does perform well, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the last time we see these characters again.

[rat-rosemary]

Hiiiii

I truly do not understand dreams end goal here.

You could say its to finally speak his truth. witch is valid, however the way hes doing it makes little sense.

He knows the court of public opinon likes tommy now, Tumblr, twt, tiktok everywhere has been majorirty taking tommys side, even youtube witch dream gets more views on is fucking with tommys video alot more, hell tubbo got more viewers then dream last night that never happens.

you could say its like the the debunk video, however nobody knew amanda, nobody truly cared about amanda they cared about dream being a pedo, dream could easily debunk hes not a pedo, thats a claim with a yes or no answer.

This is youtuber vs youtuber, both make claims but none are legal in nature, its strickly who people like more, and dream loses all of these.

He used to win them, john swan and that speedrunner dude he demolished, but ever since gumball people side against him in every case if they vaguely know who the other person is. Hell dream have evidence and mfs still dont care. still say gumball won easily.

instead of going back and worth and LOSING. (Cause thats what hes doing, i know that zendaya tweet but zendaya has a career off internet in movies and popculture, so her twt audience is little while dreams audience is all online)

Why dosent he post his experinec with tommy on reddit? Where all his diehard fans are? one big long video airing it out. Hell post in on youtube and TURN YOUR PHONE OFF. Back and forths allow u more oppurtunities to lose and ignores your goal of telling your side. He wont sway people who hate him. Three hours of stream and everyone just thinks hes cringe. He needs to focus on what matters and who matters. If he truly feels like youtubers are being manipukated by tommy he needs to dm them personally. (I dont think tubbos being manipulates i think thats twin. U dont turn on twin)

Hi! This is a more of an opinion thing then a "Hey what did Dream say" thing, but let's go

Okay so let's start with this. As a veteran Dream Stan who has been here since 2020, people did not accept a yes or no answer. Because he said no immediately

Even after the truth dropped, even after all the people involved publicly admitted to lying, people will still constantly call Dream a pedophile. If you want an example, you can go on Twitter, find the picture Dream posted of a minecraft world with a huge render distance, and look at the qrts.

For your sake I would actually tell you to not do that. But yeah it's the same joke over and over and over again.

As a side note, it is super fucked up if no one care about Amanda. First of all, she is a terrible person and you should support her victims. Second. What the fuck does it mean if no one cared about the person who would be the victim? That they didn't care for the person being groomed, just the person they could call a pedophile?

That's a smear campaign. Literally.

The rules for Dream have been that he is assumed guilty and must create evidence for every single moment of his life to prove himself innocent.

Like sit with me here. Cantu assaulted Dream and screamed slurs at him and the Uber driver. Cantu could have gone to jail for that. Dream could have sued him for assault and defamation or even a hate crime. There is something wrong here with the way Dream is treated

*cough* also as a veteran Dream stan, reddit is not where the die hard fans are. My god, dwt2 feels like a dranti space painted with bright green. *cough*

Tommy is to Dream, and I'm being dramatic and overly simplificatig this to explain a point, an emotionally abusive ex basically.

Dream is not doing this to try and make himself be the good guy, he could never do that. He survived his smear campaign as well as he could, considering the plan for it from it's starts at Kiwi Farms was to make him kill himself.

He's doing this because this is a pattern of behavior he saw when he was Tommy's friend, and that he doesn't want turned to other people. Because he knows it sucks.

The point was never to be a hero, it is that no one ever fucking stepped up when it was Dream, and he is not going to let the same thing happen to someone else

Augh. Oh that was bad. I think they're gonna kill me with hammers for this

On a side note. First, I don't think Tommy's and Tubbo's and the British group friendship is abusive, but as an outsiders I don't think it, or their relationship to their audiences and views, is healthy.

Manipulation is hard to explain or pin down, because manipulation is basically communication, and that's what humans do all the time. So I don't think that is the most useful thing ever for this conversation /nm

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You’re the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 5

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

All OC Characters belong to me

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NOVEMBER 23RD 2020

Incoming text from Josh Fatu: good morning, can’t wait to see u tonite ❤️

Airielle stared at the text message with a smile on her face. Even though she was happy she was also extremely nervous, this would be her first date in 3 years since…Airielle quickly shook her head trying to get rid of those thoughts. She jumped when Yasmine burst through the door carrying shopping bags. Airielle rolled her eyes as Yasmine passed her a Victoria’s Secret bag. 

“Just something sexy to wear.” Airielle laughed and thanked her. “You nervous? It’s been a while since you been on a date.” Yasmine paused “Even though I still think those other two should count but whatever.” She shrugged. 

“Yeah im freaking the fuck out honestly.” Yasmine reached over and grabbed Airielle’s hands, giving them a squeeze. 

“Just remember, you are not defined by what happened to you. You are the light that refused to surrender.” Airielle smiled softly and looked away from Yasmine. “I know I give you shit about getting back in the dating scene,” Yasmine grabbed Airielle’s cheeks to make her look back at her. “But I just want you to know how proud of you I am. Just have fun and be free.” Airielle pulled Yasmine to her in a tight hug. 

“Yo bro.” Josh looked over at the door when Jon came strolling through. 

“I know this ya house, but I could’ve been naked.” Jon shrugged and plopped his body down on the bed. 

“You ready for tonight? I can’t believe she actually agreed to go out with you.” Josh sucked his teeth and glared over at his twin. 

“What the hell that's supposed to mean?” 

“You ugly as fuck uce” Jon laughed then held his hand up, trying to shield his face and body from Josh’s hits. “Aight, Aight Damn.” 

“If I'm ugly, you ugly. We twins jackass.” 

“I hope you got my girl some roses.” Trin said as she came into the room and sat on the bed next to Jon. Josh nodded and scrubbed his hand over his face. If there was an emotion beyond nervousness, that's what he was. Trinity noticed and placed her hand on his shoulder. 

“This gon be my first- first date since high school man, The last time I was this nervous was with the boy’s mom.” Jon and Trinity winced at the fact he wouldn’t say his ex-wife’s name. “And I was fifteen, i’m thirty-fucking five, why am I so nervous?” 

“Cause you like her uce. And technically yall already went on y’alls first date.” Trinity nodded her head in agreement. “Just be yourself man, she gon fall in love with you.” 

Airielle looked at the clock and cursed. Josh was supposed to be at her place in 30 minutes and she still didn’t decide which dress to wear. She let out a sigh of relief when Yasmine came into her room holding her IPad, on facetime with their other cousin Ashley. 

“As the family fashion expert. We need your help.” Yasmine flipped the camera and showed Ashley all of the dress, shoes and jewelry options they had. 

“Bitch are those my earrings!” Yasmine rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth. 

“Focus Ashley-” 

“I’ve been looking for them everywhere hoe!” Airielle giggled and took the IPAD from Yasmine, turning the camera to herself. 

“I need your opinion Ash, I’m stuck.” Ashley rolled her eyes and nodded. 

“Fine,” She muttered. “Show me again.”  

AIRIELLEJONES

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Yasmine had just finished curling the last piece of Airielle’s hair when there was a knock at the front door. Airielle felt like she had to throw up. She was about to run into the bathroom when Yasmine stopped her and pushed her towards the door. 

“No running. Go enjoy yourself.” Airielle nodded and took a deep breath before opening the door. 

“Damn,” Josh said lowly, licking his lips as he shamelessly raked his eyes over her body. “I mean,” he cleared his throat. “You look beautiful.” He felt his cheeks heat up as he passed her the bouquet of white, red and pink roses. 

Airielle took them. “These are so pretty.” She said as she lifted them to her nose to smell them. 

“I mean, beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman.” They both stared at each other before bursting out into laughter. 

“That was so corny,” She said as she shut her apartment door and started walking towards the elevator. He chuckled as he followed her. 

“Yeah aint gon’ lie. That wasn’t my best work.” 

Josh had just pulled up in front of the restaurant and Airielle was about to get out of the car when Josh stopped her. 

“Whoa, whatchu’ doin?” Airielle froze with one of her hands on the handle of the car door. She turned her head and frowned at him. “Opening the door?” She said as more of question and Josh chuckled. 

“Nah, don’t touch that.” He said getting out and rushing over so he could open the door for her. “I got you.” He said as he held out his hand for her to grab. She rolled her eyes with a smile and grabbed his hand, letting him help her out of the car. She smiled wider when he didn’t let go of her hand as they started walking towards the restaurant. He only let go of her hand to hand the valet his keys and a twenty dollar tip. 

“Wow, this place is nice.” She said as the host led them to their table. She smiled at Josh as he pulled out her chair for her. 

“Yeah, Jon recommended it. Said he takes Trin here all the time.”  They sat there in silence. Glancing at each other over their menus, sending secret smiles to each other. 

“So i’ve been told.”Airielle started off, breaking the silence between them. “We technically already had our first date.” Josh nodded with a chuckle. 

“I mean, technically yeah. So what this’ll be our.” He stopped to count on his fingers making her scoff. “Third date.” 

“You did not just count to three on your fingers.” He shrugged with a laugh as the waiter came over to take their orders. Once he walked away Airielle turned her attention back to Josh. “Ok, so tell me something about you that I don’t know.” 

“Damn,” Josh said as he blew out a breath of air. “I can play the piano.” 

“Oh wow foreal?” She asked, eyebrows raised in shock and he nodded. 

“Yeah, me and my brothers. My momma kept us busy so we weren’t tearing up her house. It was so much shit she put us in man, uh- karate, soccer, baseball. Man, any sport that you could think of my mom had me and my brothers there. No your turn.” 

She placed her chin on her palm and smiled at him. “I used to dance and cheer competitively. My parents' garage is literally full of medals and trophies.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him when he started to smirk. “That’s kinda hot.” 

“I was a kid Josh.” She chuckled and threw a piece of her dinner roll at him when he shrugged. 

The rest of their date went amazing. They never ran out of stuff to talk about. They didn’t even realize they were the last two people in the restaurant until the waiter came over to tell them. 

On the ride back to her apartment, they stopped to grab some ice cream. Neither one of them wanted the night to end. After he parked in her complex’s garage they walked slowly to her apartment, holding hands. 

“This was like the best date I've ever been on.” She said, turning towards him as they stopped in front of her door. Her statement made him feel good. 

“Yeah? Me too.” He said with a wide smile. Airielle was about to turn to walk into her apartment when Josh stopped her by grabbing her hand. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked and Airielle nodded immediately. She honestly thought she would have to make the first move. He grinned before pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arms around her waist. He hesitated before leaning head forward and capturing her lips in a soft, tender kiss. They stood there, lost in eachother only breaking apart at the sound of a loud squeal and a loud clanging sound, like something had dropped coming from inside Airielle’s apartment. 

“Sorry.” They both chuckled at Yasmine’s muffled voice. He gave her another kiss before telling her that he would text her when he got home. After he walked away, Yasmine ripped open the door and yanked Airielle inside. 

“Bitch tell me everything.” 

Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it.)

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

[simphellscape]

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12TH, 2020- 5:24PM // SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2020 - 2:38AM // next | tw: alcohol, horny bird pt. 2

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2020 - 2:38AM

“Cheater!” Kei exclaims, scattering several UNO cards across the floor, “You’re -hic- cheating.”

He pouts dramatically, throwing himself against the living room carpet. This childish display has you cackling. Perhaps he’s a bit too drunk, but it doesn’t matter because so are you.

“Can we play a different game, please?” he pleads, slurring.

“It’s not my fault that I’m a god, Kei!”

“If I wasn’t drunk, you’d be a goner.”

“You said five minutes ago that you aren’t even drunk!”

“I’m not!”

“Liar!”

“Different game!” he bellows, still throwing a tantrum.

You reach over and flick the back of his head. Even though you’re hammered, you still manage to land it squarely in the center. His head flies off the floor to face you, honey eyes narrowed.

“You’re dead, (Y/L/N).”

One of his feathers darts toward you, aiming directly for your exposed ribs. You know this game far too well, and while you could easily avoid his attack, you secretly enjoy this kind of attention. In a way, it’s like he’s touching you. That’s what you tell yourself, anyway.

You leap to your feet and begin sprinting in the direction of your bedroom, but the feather is simply too fast. Before you can even make it through the door, it’s teasing the sensitive area, causing you to convulse with defeat. You, unfortunately, are being tickled within an inch of your life.

“K-Kei!” you shout, breathless and laughing, “Stop it!”

“No, you flicked me!”

You crash into the wall and slide to the floor, feather never leaving your side.

“I’m gonna pee!”

“You shoulda thought of that before you flicked me, then!”

“I -- fuck -- I’m sorry!”

“What? Can’t hear you. Speak up!”

“I’M SORRY!”

“That’s what I thought,” he says, a fake threatening tone to his voice.

With that, the feather zips back into the fold of his wings, bumping into a lamp on the way. You stay slumped against the wall, attempting to catch your breath. Meanwhile, Kei has raised himself to a relaxed sitting position on the living room floor.

“Now, a different game, please,” he smiles.

“Fine, crybaby.”

“Watch it, or I’ll tickle you again!”

“Nooo!” you whine, returning to your spot on the living room carpet with a graceless thump.

“I have an idea!” Kei gasps.

“Shoot.”

“How about, um, Truth or Dare, but, like, with alcohol! Like you take a shot if you don’t wanna do your truth… or your dare… or whatever.”

“I didn’t realize we were sixteen years old.”

He calls a feather to hover dangerously close to your ribcage once again.

“Jesus, alright! Just put that shit away.”

He smirks with satisfaction as the torture device returns to its crimson plume.

“I’ll go first!”

“Hold on, let me get the vodka,” you grumble, hoisting yourself up.

As you hobble to the kitchen, Kei begins the game anyway.

“Truth or dare?”

“Let’s do truth,” you decide after a moment, returning with the bottle of vodka.

“You’re no fun,” he pouts, considering his options, “Hmm…. oh! Okay, so, you’ve got good aim.”

“Yeah. Truth or dare?”

“I WASN’T DONE YET!”

“I’m teasing, Kei! Someone’s touchy.”

“Leave me alone,” he growls, “I wanted to know what your quirk really is. Because I don’t think that’s all.”

“Yeah, that’s not all. All of my senses -- you know, sight, hearing, whatever -- are better than a normal person’s. Not all of them are the same amount of better though! My sight is the best, and then touch, then -hic- hearing, smell, and taste. It kinda sucked at first, but I worked really hard to make it worth something, ya know? I even got an ultimate move out of it!”

Kei’s mouth is hanging open in real, but overexaggerated shock.

“Really? Show me!”

“It’s not really something I can show you…”

“Oh. Well, can you, like, tell me about it then?”

At this, Kei scooches closer towards you, eyes widening even further.

“I just, um, focus more, and it makes my senses almost perfect. Like they’re great on their own, but with more focus it gets to the point where, like, I can tell what people are gonna do before they’re finished doing it. It’s like -- ‘oh, I can hear their pinky toe moving in their shoe, they’re probably gonna take a step’. It gives me a migraine when I’m done though.”

Kei nods and begins the long, arduous process of standing up.

“Okay, so I’m gonna get up and then I’m gonna do something totally unexpected. You gotta say what I’m gonna do.”

“I just told you it makes my head hurt, birdbrain!”

“But I wanna seeeeee!”

“You can see it later! I don’t think I can do it right now, anyway. I’m drunk.”

He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest.

You learned from your last time drinking together that when Kei drinks, he often wants to play some sort of game. And when he’s drunk and playing a game, one of two things can happen. One, he gets extremely competitive. This is what happened last time, when he flipped your game of LIFE off of your coffee table. Or, two, he becomes a big, mopey baby, which is what’s happening right now. You know it’s all in jest, and while it’s slightly annoying, it’s mostly endearing. You can’t wait to remind him about this tomorrow. If you’re even able to remember, that is.

“Truth or dare?”

“I’m gonna pick dare, because I’m not a loser,” he mocks.

“Oh, now I’m gonna pick something terrible.”

You scan the room, drunkenly scrambling to find something hellish for him to do as revenge. You just did a deep clean of the whole apartment, so there’s nothing really gross around here that you can think of. You’re fresh out of mushrooms, otherwise you’d make him eat one. You know he would have hated that. You could make him wear one of your bras on his head, but that would require him to see it. Too embarrassing for you. Suddenly, a lightbulb pops in your head.

“Let me touch your wings.”

There are two reasons for this diabolical idea. Kei talks all the time about how he loathes when fans touch his feathers without his consent. But also, selfishly, you just really want to know what they feel like. You’ve felt individual feathers before, and they’re incredibly soft. Feeling multiple all at once sounds heavenly.

“No. Absolutely not!”

“Now you’re no fun!”

“They’re sensitive!”

“I’ll be gentle.”

“No, that’s wooorse!”

“How the fuck is that worse?”

In addition to the flush of Kei’s intoxicated cheeks, a new pinkess spreads across them.

“Either let me touch your wings for a few seconds or take a shot,” you urge him.

He locks hazy eyes with you, and you can see the gears turning in his head. Simultaneously, the gears are turning in your own. You can’t really gather how it would be worse for you to be gentle with them. Holding back on the pressure couldn’t possibly hurt him. In fact, that seems like it would be more pleasurable for him.

Your brain stops in its tracks.

Pleasurable.

Before you can stop yourself, you share your revelation.

“You don’t want me to touch them because you’ll like it too much!”

“No, I--”

“Don’t lie, Kei!”

“I don’t--”

“No, you do know!”

“FINE, TOUCH THEM!” he concedes, throwing his arms in the air.

You grin widely, feeling victorious, as he turns to the side. You use this opportunity to scooch closer to him, preparing to caress the plumes.

You could go about this one of two ways, you figure. You could make this as easy as possible for him. A quick stroke across a small section. Or, you could make this extremely difficult for him, running your fingers between the expanse of the whole wing. Something about the intimacy of the interaction, the inhibiting effect of the alcohol, and your burning desire to touch his wings, to touch him, make you pick the latter.

You wiggle beside his extended leg, facing the wing directly. Before you touch him, something possesses you to lean towards him and whisper in his ear.

“Remember, this game was your idea.”

All in the same motion, you draw your head back and carefully dive your fingers into his wings. As you run them along the surface, you suck in a breath. You expected them to be soft, but you’re taken aback. It has exceeded your expectations by a lot. Your fingertips tingle at the way each feather teases them. The fine barbs feel smooth underneath your touch. A strange sensation zips its way up your arm like it’s a live wire. You move at a sloth’s pace, wanting to savor this feeling for as long as possible, mesmerized. You’re only halfway across when Kei’s hand closes around your wrist, forcefully yanking it away.

His previously hazy eyes are now dark, met firmly with the wall directly across from him. His breathing is labored, shoulders heaving with each inhale and exhale. The previously pink flush in his cheeks is now beet red. Warmth spreads in your midsection, intoxicated by both the restraint he has you in and the downright primal look on his face.

“That’s enough,” he asserts, sternly.

You flounder, looking deep within you for some sort of snarky reply. There’s nothing left in your head; it seems that this interaction has wiped them all away. You feel redness creep up your neck and into your face. Your heart is beating out of your chest. You’re sure that Kei can hear it loud and clear. You swallow hard, and attempt to find your voice.

“Come on, that was nothing,” you offer, weakly.

Your gaze flickers from his eyes to his lips. They’re parted slightly to allow for his panting breaths. The image of him closing the distance between you, crashing them against yours, flashes across your brain. Working against them in expert fashion. Just like you’ve wanted for so long. You can practically feel the pressure of them, sucking on your bottom lip and lightly nipping. To satiate the need you suddenly feel, you take your bottom lip between your teeth, returning your gaze to the predator before you.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Keigo’s palm burns around your wrist. It’s taking everything in him to refrain from pinning you down on the floor and reenacting the images flashing in his head. Your heartbeat is drumlike, rapid, and even more inebriating than the copious amounts of liquor he’s had tonight. Your erratic breaths cause your chest to brush lightly against his forearm, the additional contact driving him further into insanity. After years of training, he knows that this is the ultimate test of his will. He’s losing.

A part of him consistently suggests that loving you isn’t a venture that’s destined to fail. The rest of him usually overshadows that, spouting endless excuses for his actions. Well, rather, inaction. Right now, he’s forgotten every reason he’d previously given himself. No matter how badly he wants to, how desperately he needs to, he can’t bring himself to look at you. If your expression is anywhere near what he’s imagining it to be, he won’t be able to stop himself. In his soul, he knows that if he acts right now, he will be completely unable to show anything resembling mercy. The already looming threat of going completely feral will swallow him whole, and he will fuck you into oblivion.

It’s appealing, the thought of releasing hold on his inhibitions. The only thing stopping him now is the thing that stops him from doing a lot of things these days.

He must, above anything and everything else, keep people safe. And you just happen to be at the very top of the list of people in the world.

This is as instinctual as breathing for him. A knee jerk reaction to outside stimuli. His outside might be extremely stimulated right now, but the core of his very existence will not allow this to continue. Not like this. If he’s ever presented with the opportunity to sleep with you, it has to be centered around you. It has to be considerate. It has to be gentle. The current state of things doesn’t equate to that at all. Of course he cares about you, about your safety. He also cares about being a decent human being, a decent pro-hero, even in the face of quickly reducing into an animal.

Finally, in the raging battle of Keigo versus avian instinct, Keigo emerges victorious.

In one swift motion, he releases his grip on your wrist and raises himself off the ground. Semi-rational thought slowly starts to flow back into his head. He knows that whatever the hell all that was effectively ruined the banter for the night. The way he reacted to your touch scared himself, and he can’t even begin to imagine how terrified you must feel. Moments like these reacquainted him with the fact that his quirk, combined with all of the meddling the Commission did to him, essentially made him a monster. He goes to great lengths to hide that from the rest of the world, but now he’s revealed the most ugly part of himself to the only person in the entire place that matters. You, his entire life, now know that even the most human of hawks are predators, too.

He stumbles to your balcony. In his altered mind, he believes that leaving would be the ultimate courtesy to you right now. It doesn’t matter that he’s plastered. It doesn’t matter that you’re already following him, begging him to stay. No one, especially you, deserves to spend another moment with such an unholy creature as Keigo Takami.

Without so much as a backward glance, he surges off of the balcony and into the night sky. His aim is to fly across the city, across the country, across the world. But, his double vision doesn’t grant him much aid in the darkness. Before he can make it even fifty feet from your apartment building, he clips the one across from you with his massive wing. In any normal circumstance, he would be able to recover from this without much issue. But he’s shitfaced. So, instead, he careens into the street below at remarkable speeds. With a yelp, he lands on the gravel and slides, scraping his entire left side. For a moment, his deafening, panic induced thoughts are quiet. It happens to be just long enough to hear you from your apartment four stories above.

“KEI!”

A pro-hero such as him should be able to take an injury like this like it’s nothing. In fact, he’s done it countless times before. Something about the drunkenness and the complete descent into self-loathing keeps him glued to the pavement. He knows you’re coming. He knows he’s going to have to face you. He knows that you’re probably worried out of your goddamn mind. He knows it’s all his fault.

For the first time in recent memory, Keigo feels entirely lost. Though he’s tried so hard, he knows now that you’ve found him out. In his perfect world, he hoped that you took his lack of affection and general emotional standoffishness as a sort of defense mechanism. In essence, that’s what it was, but he never wanted you to find out any of the myriad of things he was defending himself from -- defending you from. Now, there’s no way in hell you could view it as anything else. He wants you. Badly. And now, you know.

He hoists himself up into a sitting position with difficulty, both hands finding their way to his hair. The panic is starting to give way to crushing defeat. He’s already running through ideas on how to cope with the loss of your presence in his life. After the imminent rejection he’s about to face, he’ll have to cut off contact with you for his own sanity, at least for a little while. Maybe he can contact Kana and see if there’s any way she can assign another pro-hero to your case. Just as he’s running through candidates to recommend, he hears your sandals crunching against the gravel.

“Hey!” you call out.

Keigo inhales deeply and raises his head.

“Oh, thank fuck,” you breathe as you approach him.

You stumble slightly as you finally reach him, hands reaching out. You crouch beside him and begin to inspect his form, picking pieces of the ground off of it.

“(Y/N)...” Keigo sighs.

You shift your focus from cleaning him up to his face. As soon as you see the look of despair on it, your own face drops.

“What? Kei, what’s wrong?”

Is it possible that you aren’t as thrown off by this interaction as he is? Did this even phase you at all?

“Um.. you were there five minutes ago too, right? You witnessed the shit that I just pulled?” he asks, softly.

“Yeah, you jumped out of a fucking window! Of course I witnessed that, you idiot!”

Of course you didn’t care about the fact that he almost acted on his innermost desires in the most animalistic way possible. As always, you just wanted him to be okay. He should have suspected as much.

But, after tonight, he’s not sure if he’s physically able to keep the act up much longer.

“I meant before that.”

Redness creeps across your cheeks as you nod in recognition.

“Yeah, uh, I did witness that,” you whisper.

“And,” Keigo gulps, “did that… uh… scare you? At all?”

You laugh nervously. A flighty and musical sound. Keigo’s heart drums faster.

“No. I wasn’t scared. I was…” you trail off.

You suddenly groan and throw your hands over your face.

“God, Kei, don’t make me say this,” you cry.

His mind races. What could possibly be worse than making you scared by that? He can’t immediately think of anything, but whatever it is must be awful. He definitely won’t be seeing you ever again after this, but he needs to know. He has to prevent this from happening ever again. Not that it ever will, because he doubts that he’ll ever let his guard down like this from now on.

“You’re gonna have to. I’m not following,” he mutters.

You whine, and retract your hands. Your eyes are glued to his chest, as if that’s as close as you can get them to his eyes at the moment.

“I -- it kind of… turned me on.”

Keigo feels as if someone dumped a gallon of cold water over his head. In fact, if someone managed to do that right now, he would probably be less shocked. He can feel his mouth drying out from the amount of time he’s spent with it hanging open.

“See! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” you groan, shifting to raise yourself up.

Without thinking, he wraps his hand around your wrist again, pulling you towards him. You fall to your knees, face inches away from his own. He searches you one final time for any sign of regret, but all he finds is a desperate, pleading expression. He somehow finds it in him to speak.

“Can I?”

You nod softly and he does what he’s been wanting to do for months.

The first thing he notices when his lips finally meet yours is the taste of strawberry vodka. The second thing, hitting him immediately after, is an explosion in his chest. It’s a million sensations at once -- flowers blooming, fireworks popping, the sun rising. Keigo has done a lot of things in his short life, but not one of them has even come close to the pleasure of kissing you.

What was a tentative, slow pace quickly evolves into something needy, something frantic. His hands shift from the soft grip around your wrist to tangle themselves in your hair, pushing you closer to him. Even though you’re practically on top of him now, you’re not close enough, and he doesn’t think you ever will be. His tongue swipes against your lips, begging for entrance. You happily oblige, and he delves deep into you. As your teeth crash together, Keigo begins struggling for breath. He doesn’t want it, maybe he doesn’t even need it. Now, he feels as though you’re the only thing he needs to survive. Just as he accepts that as fact, you break away to rest your forehead on his. You’re panting, giggling softly between breaths. As he collects his thoughts, his mouth moves before any of the rest of him can.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he whispers.

“You should have done it sooner,” you retort, still out of breath.

He’s beginning to regain control of his body now, so he pulls away from you just far enough to plant a soft kiss against your nose. Even though he would love to continue to feel the most unique and gratifying thing he’s ever felt, he recognizes that now is not the time nor the place. But, if he has anything to say about it, there will be plenty more opportunities, scattered across the rest of time. He pauses as that thought, at how a simple kiss has fixed the position he’d been saving for you since the moment he laid eyes on you. You, his first friend, his last love. He finds your hand and squeezes it.

“It’s getting pretty late. You should probably get to bed,” he suggests.

“You could stay with me, if you wanted. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested for drunk flying,” you chuckle.

The smile that sprouts on Keigo’s face is strong enough to break his cheekbones. It’s a miracle that they stay intact.

“You’re absolutely right. Always looking out for me, aren’t you?”

He lifts himself up and pulls you with him. As the two of you walk back to your apartment, your pinky fingers are linked together. It’s a small, almost lazy connection, but neither of you seem to be able to entertain the thought of letting go.

(a/n): fuckin finally amirite

[spnregular]

also do breeding kink fic :3

like they do on the discovery channel is the second fic i wrote for the fandom and is my single most popular fic for spn! im very flattered by the response i've gotten on it and was honestly soooo surprised that it was so well received. i mean there are so many amazing writers in this fandom that i never thought i would be noticed like this lol. ive posted the whole fic here under the cut, unlike my other commentaries, because it is fun and it's short (like 3.5k words)

I wrote this post-tonsillectomy so i was essentially on lean for two weeks. I got the idea for it when i was waking up one day, in a haze of pain and dehydration “cas should… cas should get dean pegant… or at least get to try…”

Cas was always shutting Dean up in bed. He didn’t even need any gags or sexy rules to do it. Fuck, he didn’t even need to tell Dean to shut up. No, Cas knew what to say to turn all of Dean’s casual flirtation, all of his showiest and cheesiest lines, into long, drawn-out moans and soft whimpers. Cas could have Dean gasping and unable to talk for hours without even trying.

“You’re so beautiful, Dean.”

“I’d fight my way through hell again and again for this.”

“I’ve never met anyone, anything, like you, in all my eons of life and death.”

“You’re such a good boy.”

“You’re mine.”

Cas knew how to take care of Dean. Through push and pull– long nights, hard talks, and soft touches– they came to understand how to tease pleasure from their bodies, leaving them both crying out and rent asunder.

Dean was no slouch. He knew that Cas liked it when he blushed, when he gave in. It was hard at first, really hard. But the look on Cas’s face every time Dean relaxed into a touch, when Dean let the soft thing between them flourish and unfurl? Not to mention the butterflies in his stomach, or the blush that would creep up his chest with every word. It was so worth it. So, Dean sucked it up and let Cas be sweet on him. Dean could think of a couple of things worse than having a sweet-talking angel in his bed, night after night. 

The thing was, the guy was always battin’ a hundred and there was nothing Dean could do about it. Even when Cas was off his game, saying some weird shit, Dean kinda got off on it. Dean knew that Cas didn’t expect anything back, he just wanted Dean comfortable in their bed and in his arms. But sometimes– sometimes Dean wondered if he could do that for Cas, too. Make him feel special, get him hot and dumb crazy. 

So this is sort of my response to most destiel fic being made after 2020. Im a deangirl, i eat this shit up and i do believe that cas is doing all this (the praise kink, the service topping) for dean in a post canon world. BUT… i think dean would want to return the favor. Dean likes knowing that he can make people happy, he likes to please. I think Dean would start feeling some kinda way if he couldnt give it back.

Tonight was nothing special– middle of the week, still before 9PM, meaning they would have time to catch the late night M*A*S*H reruns. Sam and Eileen were out on a hunt, Jack was off doing Heaven shit, and Cas was buried to the hilt into Dean’s ass, the both of them splayed out on their bed.

Dean had a leg thrown over Cas’s shoulder and one curled around his waist. Cas’s face was buried into Dean’s collar bone, nipping and biting, exactly how Dean liked it. His arms and hands— Christ, his fucking hands— were wrapped around Dean so softly, so tenderly. Like Dean wasn’t some six-foot, killing-machine. Like Dean was something worth caring for. Dean’s stomach swooped hard when their eyes locked and he saw Cas thinking exactly that. Those otherworldly blue eyes, unguarded and hooded with lust, dazed with admiration. Dean bit his lip and squeezed his thighs around Cas, causing those same eyes to flutter shut in unabashed pleasure. 

“Dean,” Cas gasped his name as though it were an exalted prayer, “Dean, you feel so good. So good, for me.”

How the fuck was Dean supposed to keep up with that?

W-when destiel is i-in luv……… !!!

Dean moaned and turned his face away to mouth at Cas’s wrist. He screwed his eyes shut and focused on the feeling of the connection between their bodies, the slick friction of Cas fucking into him hard. On each thrust, Dean let out a grunt or groan, unable to keep any of it in. It felt like Cas was trying to do more than just fuck Dean, like he was trying to—

“Oh, fuck, C-Cas,” Dean choked out, “You tryna knock me up, pal?”

Cas gasped– his hips stuttering, losing their fine tuned rhythm. 

So you know how cas just doesnt expect that he gets to be happy? Well he’s REALLY not expecting dean to just randomly guess the horny nuclear codes to his brain.

“Cas?” Dean asked, blearily, blinking his eyes open slowly. Cas was breathing hard over him, his sides expanding wide with each breath, like great wings flapping slow.

Cas moaned, his eyes heavily hooded, hips still grinding deep into Dean. 

He gathered Dean in his arms, pulling as far as Dean’s hips would allow. Cas bit down gently into the crook of Dean’s neck and groaned. Dean’s stomach swooped low and he hissed in pleasure from the feeling of Cas’s teeth grazing against him like a promise. 

Cas pulled Dean up to his chest, holding Dean up against the headboard. Dean braced his arms against it, though he knew Cas could handle him. Every muscle in Cas’s body seemed taut, poised and directed to the one purpose of fucking Dean. Dean licked and bit his lip, trying to dampen the need and want to lick every long line on Cas’s neck, his chest. Cas practically snarled at him, pushing Dean hard against the headboard and crushing his lips in a sloppy kiss, biting and licking. Dean gasped into his mouth, from pain and pleasure, his eyes almost crossing. Cas was relentless. 

When Dean’s eye refocused, the look on Cas’s face threatened to take his breath away all over again. His face shone with sweat in the low lamp light and his mouth hung open, color high on his cheeks. But his eyes– his eyes were focused on Dean, unwavering, cataloging every move Dean made, every twitch of his body. When their eyes met fully, Dean’s heart threatened to pound out of his chest. 

“Angel,” Dean rasped out and moaned, a smile and spit scrawled all over his face, “You seem… kinda excited.” A real pot and kettle moment— Dean’s dick hadn’t been this hard in a decade.

So ive said this before i love when cas loses control over dean. I love that dean is his special brain button. AND i am first and foremost a monster fucker, so i like when cas is clearly not human and has an inhuman appetite for all things Dean Winchester. Also, dean dick issues moment.

Somehow, Cas’s face turned even redder, his blush bleeding down onto his heaving chest. Cas groaned again into Dean’s shoulder and thrust into Dean with such fervor that Dean threw his head back, almost painfully into the wall. Cas kept going, his hips bucking erratically like he couldn’t help himself. He placed one hand on Dean’s hip and squeezed hard— Dean knew there’d be a bruise tomorrow.

This felt new.

So i love reading kinky shit abt destiel but man do i think they are wont to fall into the rhythm of one two three fingers cock. Mostly bc dean (while a cnc queen) honestly kinda likes it. He likes the familiarity of getting dicked down by someone he actually wants to want him. Not to call dean vanilla bc he isnt, but he is a creature of comfort. So when he accidentally sets off something new it’s noticeable. 

“That a yes?” Dean smiled and asked, his hand coming up to run through the sweaty hair on the nape of Cas’s neck, “You like that idea? You wanna knock me up?”

Dean’s chest heaved against Cas, feeling Cas’s loud moan more than hearing it– their bodies were so, so hot, so slick everywhere they touched. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, hands trailing up and down Cas’s spine. He rolled his hips down onto Cas’s dick, spurring Cas further into action.

Dean grunted, trying to even out his breathing. He wanted to see where this would go, see exactly what this was doing to Cas, shame be damned. He whispered hot and heavy into Cas’s ear, “C’mon, angel, you wanna fill me up?”

Dean is eager to please here and yeah he’s letting horny brain win over.

Cas made a choked noise and pressed his nose hard into Dean’s neck and inhaled. Dean let a shiver roll through him at the feeling of Cas’s breath on his neck. Cas’s thrusts picked up speed, heady intention building up faster and faster.

“Dean,” Cas rasped, “C-Can I, Dean?” His voice was so tight, so low. 

Dean nipped at Cas’s ear, “You want to?”

Dean pulled back to run his nose along Cas’s, relishing the feeling of their mixed breath. Cas breathed hot against him and nodded fast.

Dean’s eyes widened when Cas pulled back to look at him. His fucking eyes— they were focused, pupils blown… They were fucking glowing. 

“Cas?” Dean licked his lips, his own eyes wide with shock.

Cas’s eyes locked onto Dean’s tongue and from there they were both lost.

Horny monster brain take over… while im writing this commentary im sort of thinking about how angel possession only requires one instance of consent and then you’re kinda locked into it…. Makes u think…! 

Cas claimed Dean’s mouth again, his tongue thrust so far into Dean’s mouth. Dean’s eyes rolled back into his head and all he knew was Cas’s hot mouth and big hands. Dean moaned into the feeling, letting it wash over him, slow and warm like liquor, when Cas pulled out of him abruptly.

“H-h—“ Dean didn’t get a word out until he was being manhandled face down into the bed, hips aloft to present, dick dripping and hanging under him. Cas fell into place over him so fast, Dean barely had time to mourn the loss of his presence.

Cas growled as he bit the shell of Dean’s ear gently, his hand running down the cleft of Dean’s ass. Dean was so loose—they were just fucking so hard— he wasn’t sure where Cas was going with this. Nonetheless, Dean hummed in satisfaction when Cas stuck his fingers deep in Dean, pumping fast. Dean could still feel Cas’s dick, hard against his ass, rubbing as Cas rutted into him. Dean whined and canted his hips even higher, clearly letting Cas know what he wanted. 

Cas panted in Dean’s ear, pushing Dean’s hips back down. He braced his forehead against Dean’s shoulder and pulled his fingers out to spread Dean’s ass wide. Dean balled his fists into the sheets of the bed, biting back what would have been an embarrassing sound. Some good it did him— he still moaned like a fuckin’ girl when Cas slid back into him, fast and easy and big.

Dean is always moaning like a girl when cas fucks him good btw. He can have a diff gender in bed, as a treat. 

Cas moved quickly, thrusting in and out of Dean like the rent was due. Cas hooked one forearm around Dean’s chest, his hand splayed across Dean’s collar bones, almost possessive of his neck; the other hand gripped Dean’s waist, holding Dean so firmly in place. Dean was at a loss— there was no keeping up at this point, no moving, no fucking back. Just a question lingering in the back of Dean’s mind.

“You gonna breed me, sweetheart?” Dean asked. He knew the answer but he wanted to feel it, wanted it dragged out of Cas until the guy couldn’t do anything else.

Obsessed with his angel… I think it’s fun when Dean gets to control Cas. Dean also likes it, he likes being the one to steer Cas. And (I think it was in Then Comes the Rain, “the angel likes a direct order”) Cas likes it when Dean directs him. Even in this state of lost in the deanpussy sauce, he’s doing what dean is goading him into and it’s wild, it’s crazy.

Cas fucking snarled behind him and fucked into Dean even harder. Dean gasped and winced. How was Cas so big? It’s never felt like this before. Sure Cas was big, a fact which Dean was consistently grateful for, but this? This felt unreal, like some cartoon porn shit.

Cas squeezed Dean’s hip so rough, adjusting Dean against his thighs and wrapping one of his hands around Dean’s neglected dick. The other pinched at Dean’s chest, teasing even after Dean hissed, long and loud, from overstimulation. Cas was doing so much, all at once. Dean didn’t know what he was feeling anymore, each sensation bleeding into the other, all of it so Cas. He tried to focus on how Cas’s hand pumped him fast, rough and hard on his dick, the hand on his red and swollen nipples. His hole was stretched so wide and he felt so full, Cas hitting right where Dean wanted over and over again. Dean was moaning, mouth hung open, spit falling from his lips. Each pump, each thrust threatening to make Dean overflow.  

Dean felt like he was being cleft in half and he, honestly, did not give a shit. Cas had never felt so big, so strong before. The guy was three inches shorter than Dean, but in that moment, he might as well have been the fucking Chrysler building. 

“Cas, baby, fuckin’ do it,” Dean was honest to god babbling, “Knock me up, sweetheart, give it to me. Give it to me hard.” Dean kept talking through it, through the moaning, the hard pounding. Cas pushed Dean’s face into the bed and folded himself over, keeping their bodies flush against each other. Dean’s hands were scrabbling behind him, clawing at any part of Cas he could reach, hairy muscled thighs, corded arms, thick neck. He settled for reaching back and knotting a hand in Cas’s hair, curled from sweat. 

“Harder, Cas,” Dean panted, his voice muffled by the pillow on one side and the wide span of Cas’s hand on the other. It hurt a little now, they probably needed more lube, but it was too good. Dean couldn’t believe any of it: this shit coming out of his own mouth or the way it seemed to drive Cas nuts, “Knock me up, I wanna have your babies, do it, do it.”

Does dean think about being pregnant sometimes? Does he think about Cas getting him pregnant while theyre fucking? Haha well. Hits you with my gender beam. 

Cas’s hand on Dean’s dick worked faster, his wrist twisting how Dean liked, and Cas’s teeth came down hard Dean’s delts. Dean shouted loud from the dual feeling, knowing the trickle down his shoulder wasn’t sweat. He came all over Cas’s hand and the bed below them with a shout.

Cas pushed Dean’s face further into the pillow, still plowing into him hard. Dean couldn’t talk like this, choosing to make do and moan through the lingering effects of his orgasm into the pillow. He turned his head to the side and caught Cas’s gaze, eyes still glowing, and groaned.

Cas’s eyes were so heavily hooded and his mouth hung open. He was close— they’d been doing this often enough that Dean knew when he was close, even like this. Dean moaned at the sight of him, his flaccid dick twitching in interest. Flushed skin, glowing eyes rolling back into his head, all control gone, gone, gone. He wasn’t twenty anymore, but he also wasn’t immune to the sight and feel of the sex-crazed angel he was in love with. Didn’t help that Cas was still fucking into him at an angle that had tears beading in his eyes.

Dean moaned Cas’s name when Cas came, feeling him stiffen and shake. Cas’s arms came around Dean so tight and whispered Dean’s name so soft. Dean blushed as Cas collapsed onto him, Cas nuzzling into Dean’s neck, whispering in Enochian.

Two things i like in porn: soft dicks floppin around and knowing when your partner comes. The soft dick is, well, this is dean whiskey dick winchester. It doesnt always work but also… dean is okay with that… And the knowing when Cas comes thing is just schmoopy romantic stuff. :) destiel in love…

Cas rolled his hips slowly, experimentally, a few times, as they sank onto their sides into the bed, sighing and breathing heavily. Dean couldn’t believe the noises still coming out of him as Cas did so, his body still rocking in time with Cas. He felt Cas’s come leaking out of him, squelching with each little movement from either of them. Cas threaded their fingers together and brought one of Dean’s hands back to his lips, still whispering in Enochian, kissing each digit lightly.

“You, uh,” Dean gasped out, blinking the tears from his eyes, “You gonna share with the class?”

“Hm?” Cas didn’t seem to notice, his attention focused on pressing kisses into Dean’s hand and the back of Dean’s neck.

Dean shivered, “What’cha talkin’ about?”

“You.”

Dean rolled his eyes and huffed, his face heated, “Alright, well. You wanna at least tell me what that was all about?”

“What, Dean?”

“You hulkin’ out on me? What I was sayin’, seemed to really get you going,” Dean asked, turning his head back to Cas. He couldn’t seem to turn all the way around. Cas was still hard inside him, “I mean it was hot as all hell but, uh…”

“Yes, Dean?” Did Cas sound… unsure?

“Are you still packin’ heat back there, man?” Dean asked. He still felt so full and Cas’s length was so hot inside him. The feeling made his mouth water though he knew he needed to rest.

“I, uhm, yes, Dean,” Cas said. 

So this is something that cas thought would never come up, like you couldnt have tortured this fantasy out of him. But of course, dean’s gotta know everything, ur not supposed to keep stuff from him!!!

Dean’s mouth suddenly went dry and his dick twitched again. He breathed through his nose twice before responding, “Explain it to me like I’m stupid, man. You fuckin’ me again? I gotta warn you, I’m not gonna be the most exciting lay without some water and a little somethin’ to eat.”

“Dean, you would always be the most exciting—“

“Cas.”

Cas sighed, “I didn’t think it was possible in this vessel, in my current state, but what you said, I’ve thought about more than a few times and it was sort of unexpected—“

“You liked the knockin’ me up stuff, huh?” Dean asked, a smirk painted all over his face, “You think about it?”

Dean feeling like he’s just gotten a good grade in sex, he’s very normal

Dean felt Cas’s sigh more than he heard it, “Yes.”

“Well, why do you pull out and we can talk about it?” 

This wouldnt be kink negotiation btw this would just be dean putting cas under a microscope for a second

“I— I can’t do that, yet,” Cas said.

“Excuse me?” Dean asked and attempted to roll his hips off Cas. When met with resistance, they both hissed and moaned, over sensitive. Dean settled back against Cas in resignation, confusion tightening his body, “Cas, buddy, you know I’m ride or die, but I’m gonna need to know what’s going on here.”

“The idea of impregnating you,” Cas began slowly, “While not something feasible, I find highly stimulating.”

Dean waited for him to continue. When it seemed no response was forthcoming, he pressed, “And?”

Cas huffed behind him, “And, being presented with the idea mid-coitus, prompted an unexpected, angelic physiological response, causing the base of my penis to swell.”

“J-Just the base?”

“Yes,” Cas said, “Like… a knot.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Dean muttered under his breath. His skin was starting to itch from his drying sweat, “So, uh, how long is this gonna take?”

“Given that we lay still, it should recede within minutes.”

“Lay still?” Dean asked, “You mean if I move, this thing will keep going? Like forever?”

“I do have some physical limitations, Dean,” Cas said, “The longest I’ve heard it lasting was at most a few days. If Balthazar is to be believed, that is.”

In my perfect world balthazar is back and sucking and fucking with the best of them…

“Days?” Dean choked.

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Cas said, rubbing his arm, “Using my grace, it shouldn’t be long.”

“‘Kay,” Dean said. It wasn’t so bad, he supposed– still feeling full of Cas, Cas’s body pressed flush against him, his fingers trailing meandering lines up and down his arm. He leaned back into the touch, the action causing their hips to move slightly. Cas hissed behind him. 

It wasnt so bad… me when i lie… this is the best for dean. Cas is literally attached to him!!! Cannot leave!!! Yippee, wahoo!!

“Dean,” Cas breathed out, “Please.”

“Oh, sorry,” Dean said, stilling in Cas’s arms. They lay together breathing slowly, legs tangled and Cas’s breath on Dean’s neck, “It was really hot, though.”

“Hm?”

“You kinda lost it, Cas,” Dean huffed out a laugh, “I dunno, you’re always so smooth. It was kinda nice to see you… let loose.”

Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s shoulder, “I’m glad you were able to derive pleasure from my lack of control.”

“I can’t see your face right now, man, but you better not be having a pity party while you’re still balls deep in my ass,” Dean said, “I’d wanna do it again. Maybe with a little more lube, though.”

Cas’s arms tightened around him, “That is reassuring.”

Another moment.

“So,” Dean said, trying hard to keep it casual, “You got baby rabies or something?”

“Baby rabies?”

“You wanna have another kid?” Dean explained.

“Oh,” Cas replied, “No, Dean, I am quite happy with our family structure as it is.”

Dean let the warm feeling of Cas saying ‘our family’ wash over him before responding, “So, the knockin’ me up stuff that’s just… for fun?”

Housewife dean… also hearing that cas is like “fine” with everything that went down is such a balm for dean lol, there is no war in ba sing se u kno….

Cas paused, “Yes.”

“That’s kinda kinky, Cas,” Dean smiled, his eyebrows raised, “And you think about it?”

“I like the idea of,” Cas paused again, “Laying claim to you. From the inside.”

Dean flushed and his dick twitched, “Yeah?”

“The idea of you carrying a fetus I sired,” Cas whispered into Dean’s neck, right over the bite mark, “The way it would grow and people would know that I’d had you, like this.” His breath grew heavier, his hand trailed up Dean’s arm to touch the base of his jaw, “Arouses me.”

Dean shuddered, his back arching slightly, “Yeah, yeah.” There was no way he was getting hard again, not so soon, but hell if what Cas was saying didn’t sound compelling.

The thing abt destiel is that they both like to be Owned and to Own. A mutual marker of ownership or partnership is so sexy to them.

Suddenly, Cas pulled out. They gasped in unison from the dry pull of it, Dean wincing and gasping. Cas kissed an apology into his shoulder and raised his hand, presumably to grace away the evidence of their night. Dean grabbed Cas’s hand fast.

“Wait, uh,” Dean swallowed. Fuck, he really did need water, “How’s that bite lookin’?”

“It is… very deep, Dean,” Cas said, “I’m very sorry, allow me to heal it.”

It felt deep. And it ached. Throbbed even. 

“No, that’s, that’s okay,” Dean said and turned over to face Cas, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth, “I like it.”

Theyre gonna stare at that nasty bruised thing for hours btw.

Cas’s nose flared and his eyes darkened. He moved in fast to kiss Dean,  his hands coming up to cradle Dean’s head. Cas kissed him long and slow, teasing Dean’s lower lip between his teeth, sliding his tongue so far inside. Dean moaned into the kiss and breathed hard through his nose, powerless against the feel of Cas’s mouth. 

When they broke apart, Dean watched as Cas’s eyes raked over him, eyes lingering on the bite mark. He smiled and tapped Cas’s thigh.

“Alright well, you can at least grace clean us up,” Dean said, “I’m like sore, dude, you really got deep in there. Leave the bite.”

Cas’s expression turned downright smug before he waved his hand, cleaning them up in an instant. Relief came over Dean sweet and easy, like it always did when they were like this. What followed was soft touches, quick kisses and whispers, and feelings pouring out of them.

“C’mon,” Dean pulled away, “I wanna catch at least one episode before we try again.”

“Try again?” A line appeared between Cas’s brows.

“Yeah, man,” Dean smirked as he rose from the bed to reach for his robe, “I don’t think baby making always happens on the first try. Gotta keep at it.” He winked as Cas swallowed heavily, blue eyes wide.

They don’t make it through the episode. 

In my mind, they fall asleep on the couch with Cas’s knot still in dean bc WHY would they separate from each other????

[takerfoxx]

On the night of the election, I had an honest-to-God dream where I woke up and found out that Harris had shockingly come in from behind and won the election. I remember how relieved I was that the nightmare had been averted. That we did choose to not elect a senile fascist back into office. That most of my country weren't willing choosing evil over progress.

Then I woke up, literally and figuratively.

Obviously, this has been a heavy blow. Honestly, as someone who was raised as a conservative Christian, who was a huge fan of Linkin Park, Kanye West, JK Rowling, Joss Whedon, Neil Gaiman, and the Undertaker for years, and who felt like I could trust my friends and family to have my back, it's been like these last few years have been a relentless train of disappointment and disillusionment in everything and everyone I once believed in and looked up to, and who I would go to for escape when things were bad. I know you should never meet your heroes, but damn, could they just have been like salty jerks who were caught being mean to the waiter instead of fascists, abusers, bigots, and so on? Could the entire world view that I had been raised in and fervently believed for over half my life not have turned out to be so awful? And yeah, I'm including the friends and family part in that as well.

Obviously, since the election, there's been a lot of finger pointing. Did Harris run a bad campaign? Did she abandon the working class? Was it the Gaza issue? Was it the fault of moral abstainers or third-party voters?

And honestly, I get it. Given the sheer horror of what we're facing, I get being frustrated with people who don't help and/or vote against their own interests only to go all Shocked Pikachu face when the worst possible scenario occurs. But I've been doing some thinking, and I personally believe that even if all those groups came out in support of Harris, whether it be because they do support her or even just as a way to block Trump, she still would have lost. This is the first time in a long time that a Democratic nominee lost the popular vote, after all. I think Biden would have lost too, and he only won in 2020 because of the very unique circumstances caused by the pandemic.

I think we need to face the facts. America's been sliding into fascism for decades.

Reagan. The extremism that erupted after 9/11. Birtherism. Gamergate. The Manosphere. The far right has been busy, whether it be stacking the deck politically or pinpointing the fears and insecurities of every generation and tuning their messaging to draw people in. They tell them what they want to hear, that it's not their fault that they aren't getting what the American dream promised them, and it's all the fault of (insert minority group here). It's been targeted. It's been methodical. And it's been working.

Trump won. He's going to get away with everything. The far right won. This sucks. I wish I had some inspiring words about never giving up the fight, but I'm not that guy. And honestly, I'm starting to feel that spiteful part of me come out, the one that sort of hopes that everything does get much worse so that every braindead moron who voted against their best interests gets exactly what they got coming to them.

But I also know how dangerous that line of thinking of. So please, Do NOT listen to me. There are plenty of people still rallying the troops, still encouraging people to fight, people who are in far more danger than I am. I'll be fine. I'm just a tired and disappointed middle-aged white guy living in a boring California suburb. I'm safe. But there's a lot of people that aren't. And those are the voice that you need to be listening to.

As for me, I'm not giving up, I'm going to keep voting, going to keep supporting the causes I believe in, and going to keep helping how I can. But I'm also going to go away for a while. Not long, probably just a few weeks or so. But I'm going to disengage from social media for a bit to keep from doomscrolling and just focus on writing, because that's all I really know how to do. And when I do come back, I'll have a lot more stuff for you guys.

In the meantime, please be good to yourselves. Be good to those who are scared and hurting. The world needs you in it, now more than ever.

[hockeyandhrsepwr]

Black and White

Life lessons track 3

July 2023

yourusername

Yourusername cause I see us in black and white, crystal clear in a starlit night

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Ynfan bestie I swear if the next song drop is that your married….

Ynsbiggestfan us who y/n?? US WHO?!

User56 mystery of the year, who is y/n singing these fucking love songs about

Fan96 driving us all fucking insane trying to figure it out

Bellababe guys don’t worry, she’s talking about us

Yourusername that’s right 😘 love you b

Charlesleclerc

CharlesLeclerc Summer snaps in Black and White

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Fan17 hmm….

Fan183 girl what?!

Ynfan1 just interesting timing, that’s all

Fab283 y’all are tripping

Setember 2020

Curled up on a hotel bed, a soft smile graces your lips as you look at the man next to you.

"Where do you see yourself in a few years?"

Uh, what’s are you, a guidance counsellor? You giggle as you roll your eyes.

He rolls his as well. "Seriously babe. "

Rolling onto your back, you stare at the ceiling while you think. A slideshow of moments passing through your mind.

"I see us, living together at home, happy. Travelling lots. You’re a champion, I’ve another album out at least.

At some point, I see is in black and white,

you in a suit, me in a dress, swearing in front of all our friends that I’ll love you for the rest of my life. "

He smiles, "yeah? You want that?"

"Charlie, there’s nothing I want more than to call you mine forever. Regardless of everything else, I want to be 65, telling everyone that I always knew it’d be you. "

"I want that too my love. I want the world to witness when we finally say I do, I want to see you grow our children, and continue to be by each others side for the rest of our lives. I’ve never felt anything like this. We’ve been best friends for years, the day you agreed to be more was the happiest day of my life so far."

"so far eh?" You quirk a brow

"the day you agree to marry me, and the day that actually happens will definitely top it, but for now, yeah. "

you go all giggly & soft inside. He’s said when, not if. Which means he’s thought about proposing eventually and you know you’ve thought about the same.

"hopefully we can top it then." You roll over & kiss him. "The next few months are going to be rough"

"I know babe, but it’s us. We’ve come this far and we’re strong as ever. Is it going to suck? Yes, but our love will be more than enough to keep us going through this stretch. "

You can only hope he’s right….…

[skitskatdacat63]

The thing about mentioning that you are disappointed because wanderer got changed to blue and anemo is so incredibly real and understandable. I literally had the same experience, so down bad and all and I was eager to get wanderer but now that I have him it just doesn't hit that hard idk. They should have kept the black and red it suited him so much. I can understand that a part of his lore and character is to heal and move on and change but why do all anemo characters have to be so blueish and stuff? Why couldn't the purple, red, black etc. stay? He looked so good with it and he still does but why can't Hoyoverse step out of that zone for once and color things different. Why can't there be a character who is anemo but can still dress more dark YK? 😭 Or even make the elements different. Like red electro or blue flames. Where is the creativity c'mon now :(

Exactlyyyyyyyyy!!! Like why hype up a character for so long, showing little glimpses, getting people excited, only to change his design :( It makes me annoyed to think about because there was soooo much speculation back in the day abt what element he'd be and so much "omg his design is so sick!! I want him so bad" only for him to be...blue. But yeah I totally agree, I usually don't mind their color coding but it sucks in this case specifically bcs his original colors were so beautiful and unique. Though speaking with color, ah at least we have Miko in red/white/pink, I'm very pleased with that! I think if they're gonna pick an element for him that's different than everyone guessed, idk why they have to make it so obvious. Like is it not more interesting for him to be so unassuming? Also I love his old name and titles sob sob, I can't get into "Wanderer" or "Hat Guy" at all.

I guess for me specifically, Unreconciled Stars holds such a special place in my heart as the first ever event. Tthe amount of mystery and hype around Scaramouche was so fascinating to me, cause he was the first of his kind, a character being teased who we wouldn't see again nor get for literal years. I remember rewatching this scene over and over again, trying to get the most I could out of a limited character y'know, it felt very special. He felt so intimindating and cool, the first Harbinger we got to see outside of the only two we knew. And back then, I was like WHEN HE COMES OUT, I'M WHALING!!!! But I wasn't really playing it around the time he appeared in Sumeru, so I was so aggrieved seeing he was finally released, but completely different! I missed the train y'know lmao, I just don't care for his current state at all, bcs as I said, I can't help but be stuck in my 2020 perception of him. It's just very nostalgic for me. Which is why I still call him Scaramouche lol. I know a lot of people like his chara development a lot and think it's interesting, but yeah, I wasn't around for it when it was the big thing so I can't get into it, because for me, it feels like getting swindled. I really love the Fatui and their designs, like one of my fav aspects of the game, so for him to not be that anymore makes me disinterested.

Also here is the only screenshot I have of him from back then LOL, if it was now, I would've taken a million

[vole-mon-amour]

"The fuck you doing, he's beyond any sort of help!"

You know, Johnny, if Rogue didn't leave you, maybe we wouldn't be in this situation. I can't say she wasn't loyal or that I blame her because of all the pain and betrayal you caused her, but maybe, just maybe, if you had people that were ready to die there for/with you, that were fighting for you so you wouldn't stay there all alone, you would've been alive in 2077 & you've lived a life, just like your friends have—without you.

I left Takemura once, not knowing you can save him, but I'm saving him now. He's a corporate to the bone and his beliefs annoy me sometimes, but I am just not leaving him there to die. Nor am I leaving you in Mikoshi when the time comes. It's V's life for yours & you're walking away out of there, not V.

While I'm on that: 2020 Johnny, 2023 Johnny, and 2077 Johnny are three different versions of Johnny. 2020 Johnny?

"It's Arasaka, they grabbed her because of me"

Oh yeah, I can't say I'd be thrilled about him, with that enormous ego and the mind so clouded, he couldn't see the reality. I understand why Kerry acted the way he did. He loved him, he was still the only one who hadn't gave up, but my goodness, was it hard to deal with his attitude. Though if we're talking about depression, Johnny was so deep. He needed help so so much (but wasn't exactly ready to take it I think?).

I could discuss this game for hours.

One thing I know for sure, Alt's death did a number on him, and then his own death and the realization of it. And being stuck in V's head and finally shown love, kindness, and understanding? He's got some serious character development out of that.

Takemura: "You should have not come back! You will die here with me."

Me:

Dude, I literally haven't shot even once. Synopsis burnout, my beloved, and we're easily out (though Takemura abandons V because V is having a seizure and can't move).

Hanako: "Takemura mentioned he placed a tracker on you. But even if he had not, when Arasaka needs to finds someone, it does. Trust me." Johnny: "Porcelain bitch."

First of all, what a shitty move, Takemura.

Secondly, I so agree with Johnny. Fuck Hanako and her entire Arasaka department. Oooh, we can't save you. Liar. And if she didn't lie and their technology and money are truly not enough to save V, but somehow Myers' department could? Why would I need Hanako, anyway?

Honestly, Hanako's "You will help me"? Yeah, I'll rather take Johnny's hand and go in alone, slaughter all the security, and get myself to Mikoshi. No way I'm doing the Devil ending unless I wanna see if there's any difference when you have a maxed out relationship with Johnny.

And while I will replay the ending with Rogue because I don't remember it in great details and I want to see her once more, it's not my true ending. She lives on, even though she thinks Johnny convinced V to give him her body & is mad as hell at him.

No Devil, no Sun, no Tower, no Star endings for me. They all suck in their own way. Temperance? Yeah. My beloved. Whatever keeps Johnny alive and gives him a body, I'm all for it.

[cartoon-buffoon]

Random HC time with Toon Buffoon: The Cartoon Cat edition (technically The Cartoon Dog edition but they are tangent to each other)

Now awhile back Mr. Henderson made a list of canon monsters because he makes so many horrors he himself forgets some.

Now as you can see the list is a bit—just a wee smidge—dated over 3 years ago, almost 4 years ago to be exact as the date of the 11th of November 2020 shows. Now since it's listed separately I'm gonna assume The Cartoon Dog is a seperate entity from The Cartoon Cat yet the question mark is odd and implies it may or may not be canon?

(real quick: I'm gonna abbreviate Cartoon Cat as CC and Cartoon Dog as CD from here on out)

But assuming it IS canon I think the existence of CD kinda ruins CC's shtick. CC is an enigma that has only taken the form it currently has in order to latch onto the mortal plane in order to do whatever the hell it wants because it's a cosmic horror hiding behind the mask of a cartoon cat. That's about all we know about it—to my knowledge—yet still IMO the scary part about this is ya know, the entire lack of knowledge. We don't know what it is or where it came from, the only thing we do know about it is it's really fucking powerful and despite being so powerful it chooses to dwell in abandoned buildings and make people disappear who are unfortunate enough to stumble across it. The fear of the unknown is one of the scariest things to me and having CD be of the same species would kinda ruin this mystique because if there's two of them it messes up this "boogeyman" aesthetic CC has going for it.

Now just to preface—ya know—Mr. Henderson can come up with whatever lore he wants for his creatures and my opinion means fuck all because it's his world. He's the creator not me, I am but a peasant yelling on a bale of hay and if he says it's the same species as CC there's nothing I can do and that would be the hard cemented canon. That being said I just wanna share my personal head canon and idea of what CD could be while not ruining the thing CC has going for it. Now while I've seen a lot of cool ideas of what CD could be and his relation to CC with some people coming up with elaborate back stories for the two, or some just choosing to use the idea that CD is just CC disguised as a dog because why not really? CC can do whatever. I like to believe CD is a seperate entity and it's like one of those poison dart frogs using camouflage although a bit different. CD is similar to CC in the sense that it's a leech and latches onto this world, the only difference being it's a byproduct of CC. CD would be a leech that sucks on an already existing leech, it basically mimics CC's form (although ya know changes it's body so it stands out) yet it still looks close enough to the real thing that gives it leeway against other cryptids and monsters. Assuming CC is as strong as one could imagine it is, CD's mimicry would give it the benefit of looking like this powerful cryptid in order to avoid conflicts with other cryptids.

Now this isn't to discount it's power because I imagine if you saw it ya know, you're dead. No amount of running, screaming, praying or anything really would help. Your insides are gonna become your outsides, that's a fact and make peace with it because it's still a force to be reckoned with and no way in hell will you live to tell people what you saw, yet it still isn't as strong as CC at the end of the day. This idea is essentially a fucked up creature leeching off the fame and terror another fucked up creature causes yet doesn't step on the toes and maintains the original creature's status as a mystery.

Anyways stupid ramble over, I'm sorry and farewell.

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

You reblogged the post with the uhh. the playlist thing (<- sucks at explaining anything and everything) and I feel like you're one of the few people we can trust with making Gonta playlists. We should give you awards for even just enduring the other ones I HAVE VIVID MEMORIES OF ME IN 2020 LOOKING FOR GOOD GONTA PLAYLISTS AND JUST STARING AT THE CEILING PONDERING

FOR REAL THOUGH OKAY I wasn't here back in 2020 but even as late as 2022 looking for Gonta playlists can still be a bit of a nightmare. I always point out Boys Will Be Bugs because thats honestly the most egregious one (tldr soft cavetown song with bug imagery does not actually fit gonta because it's about growing up around toxic masculinity which Gonta doesn't really deal with) But there are some others...

I get the temptation to put bug themed songs on there but some just dont fit him at all!! and they never go past surface level! I understand not everyone can be as insane about gonta as we are but,, cries,,, I just want to think about him seriously

Here's my gonta playlist, I hope it doesnt disappoint:

I'm gonna ramble about some of my song choices under the cut but first I want to also share my friend @ultimateplaylistmaker's Amazing Gonta playlist. They put a lot of work into it and honestly a good amount of my playlist comes from their song choices!!

Warning that the ramble is LONG. Mostly from formatting cause I'm including relevant lyrics

Here's a held back version of my rambling about my playlist:

•There's three Cavetown songs on here: This Is Home ("Get a load of this monster / he doesn't know how to communicate / his mind is in a different place could everybody please give him a little bit of space"), Hug All Ur Friends "Life's too short to worry about things that we got wrong / so hug all your friends, and let them know / you're not letting go, no, I won't let go", and Talk to Me "You don't have to be a hero to save the world / it doesn't make you a narcissist to love yourself / It feels like nothing is easy, it'll never be / that's alright, let it out, talk to me"

•Oujougiwano Imiwo Shire by TOOBOE makes my heart ache for ch4:

I want to rely on you, but I also want to be loved I keep lying, let’s bet on the future It’s lonely, but this is a fictional life My heart is filled with you It’s sad, but this is everything about me What’s waiting on the other side of the loaded film? You, surely you With a beautiful face, waiting for revenge

•We Will Commit Wolf Murder Makes me feel a little insane too:

I tried to understand his logic But there's just no pattern there No sympathetic voices anywhere There's blood in my hair Now I'm considered ugly From every angle You're the only beauty I don't want to strangle Can't you hear me crying out for guidance? Yes, we hear but we don't care There's no sympathetic victims anywhere There's blood in my hair

And this part too:

Someone's terrorized my psyche To get even Lately, you're the only human I believe in I suffer from this death To find a kingdom raised Terror corpses in the vapor Martyr's wrapped in butcher paper

•I've tried very hard to add some nice lighthearted songs on Gonta's playlist, as I made half of it immediately after playing ch4 so I was in A State. So for that consider The Milk Carton (about his backstory), Butterfly (This song is one I see a lot on shallow gonta playlists but its correct when its ME doing it) and Spring and a Storm.

•I've talked about them a lot already on this blog so I wont get into it again but I really have to stress how much I love Williard! and Rule #4 Fish in a Birdcage for Gonta on this playlist.

[she-karev]

Girl’s Night In (April Kepner x Alex Karev’s Sister Friendship Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Four of Five

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Summary: Amber and April get drunk and have the time of their lives.

Words: 1670

Chapters Links: 1,2,3,4,5

March 25th, 2020

Amber throws back the 15th shot of tequila and relishes the burn down her throat across from April who cheers for her. Amber’s newly dyed dark brown hair is up in pigtails while April’s red hair is up in a very messy bun.

They are both in their pajamas sitting on the floor of the living room while Paranormal Activity plays on the tv that they don’t even watch. Instead, they spend the night drinking and throwing popcorn up in the air so they can catch it with their mouths.

“Okay my turn!” April pours herself a shot before downing it and tries to do it bare but relents and sucks on a lime wedge causing Amber to cackle.

“Wimp!”

“Shut up you’re a jerk!”

Amber laughs, “Jerk? Nice insult Hannah Montana, you got anymore harsh digs?”

April gasps, “I know that movie! It’s the one w-w-with that really pretty girl with the big boobs and nice legs. She was a real fox.” She claps her hands, “Megan Fox! Megan Fox is a fox.”

Amber laughs out loud with April, “I used to have dreams of kissing her and making her gay for me. I mean look at me.” April looks up and down at Amber, “Would you be gay for me? I mean your straight and a bible thumper so would you be all up on this after a lot of drinks?”

April throws back another shot, “Absolutely! I mean you’re a total smoke house.” April cackles, “Smoke show, you’re a smoke show. My point is you are so hot it makes me hate you.”

Amber throws back a shot, “I get that a lot, it’s probably why so many of my bicurious one-night stands in college didn’t call me back. Or did I not call them back?”

“I don’t know. Would you want to sleep with me if I was a bicurious college girl? You can be honest.”

Amber thinks for a moment, “I mean you’re pretty and fun after a few shots I would take you back to my dorm and put your sock on the door.”

“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” April sighs, “It has been so long since I’ve had this much fun like sooo long. I mean I know I did this with the interns a few years ago but that was when I was going through a crisis, it didn’t count. I never really let loose and just drank tequila until I die not since I had Harriet. I mean I love her I do but she’s not someone I can drink and have fun with.”

“You can but I’d call child services if you did.” Amber eats popcorn, “I’ve decided I am going celibate! I think I’m gonna join the nunnery.”

April spits out her water that she’s sipping and laughs like she’s gonna pee her pants after hearing Amber’s proclamation. Amber simply sips her whiskey while April keeps laughing before the red head calms down and speaks to Amber with a wide smile.

“You would make the worst nun in the history of worst nuns!” Amber scoffs outrageously, “Name one commandment in the bible.”

“Thou shalt not kill!”

“Name another one.” Amber tries to remember but she’s left empty causing April to laugh, “You see! You would be the first violent, queer, non-religious nun and I say this with love, but you would never make it past your postulancy.”

Amber narrows her eyes, “My what?”

“Exactly!” April points out while sipping a wine cooler, “I love these wine coolers their so sweet and they make me feel light.”

Amber rolls her eyes before shooting down more tequila straight from the bottle, “What is going on with you and your ex? I mean you two are hot, you have a kid, you already had sex when you were divorced what is taking both of you so fucking long?”

“I’m about to be divorced again.” Amber groans at that, “And we’re in a pandemic so we’d have to get tested and it takes a long time to quarantine. Plus, I love him he’s my first everything, but I don’t know if I’m still in love with him, do you know what I mean?”

Amber’s look turns somber, “I don’t know what love is anymore.”

April whimpers at that pulling out the kale chips in front of Amber, “Have you eaten anything today?”

“No, I’m full…of rage!” April is taken back by the sudden angry outburst but says nothing while Amber sips her whiskey. She turns somber again and turns to April with tears in her eyes, “Two years!”

April rubs Amber’s back as she breaks down, “I gave that boy two years of love and how does he repay me April?!”

“By kicking you out.”

“By kicking me out!” Amber swigs the tequila bottle, “I wish I could take back the last few years of my life and just throw them in the garbage like Andrew threw me out like garbage. The son of a bitch doesn’t deserve me! He can take his apology and shove it where the sun don’t shine.”

April sips her wine cooler, “Good for you, you are every mans dream and so am I dammit! I mean I am a hot, kickass trauma surgeon and my ex-husbands couldn’t handle it that’s why they left me! Because they couldn’t handle April Kepner!”

Amber eats her popcorn, “And a whole lot of other miscommunications that you could have easily avoided if any one of you was a grown up.”

“That too.” April admits with another sip, “Do you think you and Andrew would still be together if it wasn’t for the mania?”

Amber groans but thinks for a few moments before answering, “Probably not.”

April looks at her confused, “What do you mean probably not? I mean the mania is pretty much the main reason your alone and sad so why else would you and DeLuca have broken up?”

“I suck at relationships.” Amber bluntly states, “I should have been a guy.”

“No, a guy wouldn’t know if he sucked at relationships or not.”

Amber snickers, “No the problem is that whenever I get close to a storybook ending some force bigger than me says ‘oh Amber Karev is about to be happy, better get her.’ So…I think it’s pretty clear I am meant to die alone with a swarm of crying exes at my funeral telling everyone what a good lay I was. At least that’s the nice version of my ending.”

April looks at Amber in sympathy, “That is the saddest thing I’ve heard. And I’ve been divorced twice.”

“Mmm so what? Everybody gets divorced at some point in their life. And it could be worse for you. Hell, it could be worse for me. We could be like Owen Hunt right now.”

April is close to falling asleep but fights it to get more information, “What happened to Hunt?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” April shakes her head, “His fiancé Teddy Altman butt dialed him in the OR while she was getting busy with Tom Koracick.”

April is suddenly awake, and her eyes are wide with shock. She takes a moment before needing clarification, “And when you say busy you mean…?”

“Like how I got busy with DeLuca, and you got busy with Jackson.” Amber eats a kale chip.

“And when you said in the OR you mean?”

“He had his hands inside a patient while Schmitt played the message that would put Belladonna to shame.”

April groans at that, “Poor Owen god I can’t imagine that. And you were right that is worse than what we went through with our spectacular breakups.”

“At least his misery is good for making us feel less horrible.”

“…Koracick?” April asks and Amber nods, “Well at least Altman got some crazy hot, toe curling, out of body, back into body.”

Amber narrows her eyes at April’s descriptive detail of Tom Koracick’s skills in bed, “Angel singing hallelujah, bliss before her life blew up.”

“Wait, wait hold up.” Amber asks unable to comprehend, “You and Tom Koracick?”

April sighs and sips her wine cooler in shameful silence that is confirmation for the laughing Amber, “Oh my god! How did that happen?!”

April groans, “It was two years ago, I was going through a crisis of faith and just being a dick in general.” Amber nods remembering, “I was at a house party Koracick was there and then…I woke up the next morning and he was wearing my pink silk robe in my house.”

Amber cackles at the image causing April to glare at her, “Okay aside from sleeping with someone else’s fiancé in front of everyone Koracick is decent. He helped me during a hard time in my life.”

“I bet he did.” Amber retorts with a mischievous smile that causes April to stop with a grin, “But still I’ll take Tom Koracick as a shameful sex spiral over Vikram Roy.”

April groans at that reminder covering her face in shame, “Don’t remind me I am already beating myself up enough for stooping so low as to go home with a doucebag.”

“You’re preaching to the choir honey.” Amber comforts April who appreciates it. They clink their tequila bottle and wine cooler in solidarity, “But seriously you should get yourself checked for rabies because Koracick and Roy are worlds apart but they’re both still horndogs.”

April chuckles, “Oh shut up! You know you’re so pretty.”

Amber is taken back by the slurred compliment from April who is getting more drunk as they speak, “You are, you’re really pretty. You’re like a Disney princess except your mean a-a-and you don’t wear a really poofy dress and you don’t sing girly songs all the time.”

Amber looks at April blankly for a few moments before she bursts out laughing like a hyena and April joins in too. They sit on the floor of the living room laughing and forgetting about their troubles even for a short while.

Next Part Here

[just-call-mefr1es]

i finally got this pride special done akdmekdmsm>_<

u can enjoy this as it is, but just incase anyone’s up for a read, my journey with gender and how it ripped my soul out is under the cut 😋

so, at a kinda young age, i knew that i liked to be feminine, but i knew that i never really wanted to be a girl, if that made sense. id call myself a girl, and sometimes itd feel right, sometimes it wouldnt, but i never payed attention to why. i would wear dresses n be feminine and cutesy stuff but something felt weird whenever a relative said i was such a beautiful girl. i was eight.

then boom, pandemic happened. i personally think the pandemic was a gay awakening for a lot of people, since we all had to stay home and got access to the internet and shit. by then, i figured i was a lesbian, and went with that for a while. girls were pretty, and lil 2020 me wanted to kiss one (i did actually and didnt like it but thsts for another post). i vibed like that for a while; i had a couple of older friends (just by a year nothing much) who were also gay so i thank most of the first things i learned abt lgbt on them.

but, this aijt anout that, this is about gender. so, it was the summer of ‘21, and i was like- ‘hold on a stinkin minute.’ theh had my first ever real gender crisis💗 awh how time flies😽 anygays, i had a meltdown over that, and then came to the conclusion that i was non binary, sicne being a girl was so not me, and i shitting loved how it felt calling myself non binary! adn to add, part of me died a little whenever someone used she/her pronouns for me so i went with they/them; i was so scared of being misgendered back then:(

then, the internet started taking over and i got my grubby lil hands on gaytok (i just watched comps on yt bcus i didnt have tiktok) which was a blessing and a mistake at the same time. watching people like me just be themselves unapologetically was such a moment for me, and i was overjoyed. but unfortunately, some of the not so great caught up.

i saw a shiton of stereotypes abt what each person SHOULD feel, act, dress etc based on their sexuality and gender orientation. i, unfortunately got sucked into the ‘non-binary people have short fluffy hair and hoodies and frogs’ and me, being the dumbass i was, just tagged along with it. at first i thought it was cool, and i still do dont get me wrong! non binary with short fluffy hair who wears hoodies and frogs all day are swagger! my mistake was thinking that all non binary people were like that. and ‘all’ included me.

i thought that if i just had everything that nonbinary people were ‘supposed’ to have, then id finally be happy with my gender and could stop playing this stupid game, and it was like that for a while. 2022 me actually really vibed with that, though! i stocked up on all the oversized hoodies i could scour, stuffed all my hair in a beanie when i cojld and just tried to hide any feminine aspect as fucking much as i could. and it sorta kinda worked! this one time when i was in soccer, this kid asked me what gender i was cause he coukdnt tell and i just💥

that was kinda the end of that tho. 2023 was a school year with ups and downs lmao. i had to leave my kids behind; it was a whole thing. from what i can recall this was rhe year when i started to really get questioning. did i do anything tho? nah. i kept my title as non-binary and moved on, ignoring the confusion that welled up in my gut. by then, it was really hard for me to actually question my gender full-on because it made me super nervous.

some more time later, i finally start sucking it up and taking a good look at what the hell i was feeling. sometimes, i didnt feel like ripping my hair out and chokijg myself slowly whenever someone used she/her pronouns for me, but i still did feel like it sometimes- it confused the hell outta me. i kept thinking on, but made sure i didnt press on it too much because someone finally learned about taking their damn time !! good job me, one thing you can do right that isnt art /sarc

i kept my non binary title for a lil while more as i fugured things out befor my mind said ‘fuck it we ball’ and i just rid the thought entirely. i had a good time existing being unlabled with my gender, but it still felt weird inside. i tried out trans demiboy for a good second, before scrapping that idea as well. i looked into myself a lil more and realized that: hey, being feminine is fun!

all that time from 2020-23 i was deadset and focused on being as far away from being perceived as feminine for a while, from fear of bein misgendered. i had totally missed out how fun doing your hair is, and twirling sround in dresses and just being feminine was. so, i did that. im pretty sure i went back to my non binary title for a bit (this time being smart and taking into account that stereotypes were stupid as fuck) and continued on with being casual wit femininity.

then my head hit the wall- no.. gender? my head hit the gender and on one faithful day it hit me: genderfluid. i might be genderfluid. i thought about it for a while, trying to see how it would feel and oh my holy shit- it fit perfectly. i literally almost cried fr.

no, because i felt like ive been punched in the gut but in a good way- this is it! i finally figured it out!!! i always wanted to have one or the other, and no way i was ginna switch my identity every five seconds; genderfluid was a title that made me feel better. with how i present myself, with how i feel, with how i everything!

and- i shitting loved how free it felt, when i could proudly say im genderfluid. because its literalky me! im fluid with my gender! some days, i dont mind being called a girl- some days i even love it!! but other times its just not for me, and i when i realize that i can just feel like that without feeling like some sort of fraud, i just get all giddy its wonderful>_<

and thats it i guess. my story. huh. im not sure if there should be a moral, but i feel bad if i dont give something to the people, so,, never be afraid to figure out yourself. take your time, and who knows where you’ll end up? who knows, it might be somewhere you might have never thought about.

[matrixxsystem]

Luck Runs Out Part 4

Leo pulled back the curtain to Donnie's lab with April following behind him and was immediately met with Casey's uh, interesting, music playlist. It was no wonder him and Donnie got along so well, they both liked the kind of mechanical dubstep Donnie always played when he was working on something. Casey was sitting at Donnie's work bench with a pair of goggles on as small sparks flew. He was doing something with the tech inside the mask it seemed.. Leo gave April a look like he wasn't sure if he should bug him or try and wait till he was done. 

"Hey guys. What's up?" Casey called from his seat, causing both April and Leo to look a bit surprised. He turned the music off and lifted the goggles off his head, swiveling in the chair to see them with an awkward smile. "Okay-" Leo started as he took a step forward, "How in the would did you hear us over that?? You were across the room with loud ass music and you were fiddling with your mask thing-"

"I think you forget I grew up in a bunker during the apocalypse Leo-"

"....Fair 'nough- Anyway, we're all going out to get lunch and I'm dragging you with us cause we need more humans to make it look less weird"

"Less weird..? Please tell me you aren't going into town for lunch.. I don't- I mean I just- Y'know-? I'm the last guy you want in your group to make you look normal-" Leo rolled his eyes and threw his arm over Casey's shoulder, "Yes we're going into the city, and you are coming cause we can all use some fresh air. And me and Usagi kinda have this idea.. We want to use the cloaking pins Donnie made and we know my brothers have been kinda weird about using them.. And since you haven't disappeared yet like in those Back from the Future movies we can only assume you're just, here now.. So you have to learn how to be a human in the 2020s" 

"Well, I guess" Casey sighed a little, "I mean Donnie feels pretty bad about sending you alone and then.. You kinda snapped in the government facility and... y'know, killed two people, and wont talk to them about it- And you lost your arm and almost died, like, I helped stich you up after the.. Invasion, and I mean I've seen blood before but that.. It was just a lot for everyone." 

"But I feel bad too-! Like it sucks and I get that, I really do, I'm literally forced to look at my mistakes in the mirror everyday- But those pins don't represent what happened to me and I mean.. If anything, shouldn't the pins represent that I made it out alive, and that we did it? I guess.. I dunno... I just don't want them to feel stuck in the lair like we failed when we didn't. Donnie wanted to go to school and he still hasn't even applied to places around here! Mikey was looking at art schools. It's just.. It's not fair." Casey gave Leos hand a sympathetic pat and pulled away, starting to clean up his space, "I get it, I really do.. It's hard watching the people you care about struggle, or hold themselves back because they don't want to hurt you. Sensei was like that a lot when I was young, I think cause I was really little he kind of, held back when he was around me for some reason, I think he didn't wanna scare me or he thought I was fragile or something? I don't really remember the reason, and I guess it doesn't really matter now.. But the only real things that fixed it between us was time and communication."

"...I don't like how smart you are sometimes haha, but yeah I'm sure part of it is my fault too, maybe that's something we can talk about before we leave, cause I'm sure by now they're onto my plan-" Casey nodded, setting his mask aside, "Yeah, that might be good, I am kind of excited to try some more food from around here, even if that means having to deal with people I guess.. Where are we going again?"

_____

"So.. Where are we going exactly?" Donnie asked, tilting his head at Usagi. "It's a surprise, but you will need your cloaking pins." The air was suddenly a lot more tense when he mentioned the pins, Mikey hesitantly glanced down to the pouch on his hip where his pin was kept. "I uh... Well uh..." Usagi went over at sat on Leos beanbag chair, "It was Leo's idea" He said with a little shrug, "He said he felt bad you guys never use the pins you all worked so hard to get. So we were gonna go have lunch in the city, our treat."

"..He does?" Raph asked, giving his brothers a little glance before sitting in his own beanbag chair, "What... Did he say exactly?" Usagi sat up more and thought for a moment, "Just that, since his little accident and the near invasion where he got hurt again, it feels like you guys tip toe around the pins and he feels bad that you feel like you can't use them, he mentioned that Mikey was looking at studios for various hobbies and Donnie was looking at colleges, even that you Raph might've wanted to get out of the house too but that no ones really done it. And it makes him feel a little sad, since he uses his pin to hang out with me and it doesn't bother him so much." Raph sighed a little, "I-I mean... Yeah we've looked around- Of course it'd be nice to y'know, go do stuff and make friends outside of the hidden city.. But it's dangerous, even if.. I just mean like... Oh- Have you ever seen the Spider-Man movies? Peter Parker is the main character and he has these powers to stop bad things and bad people, so he starts wearing a mask and fighting crime. But because he's always off saving the day he never has time for a normal life, his family, his girlfriend, his school, his job.. He's always ditching without an excuse and messing up his normal life because he's trying to do the right thing and protect everyone.. We can't have both normal lives and ninja lives. We know that.." 

"Did this Peter Parker also have three brothers and a sister and one of their siblings partners able to support him?" 

"Well no.. He was always kind of alone, that's part of what made it so hard. He did have a friend helping him eventually and like being on the computer for him while he was out so the friend could hack stuff and find things for him. But besides that one person no one else knew"

"-Till the second Spider-Man Miles came into the story! Then they fought together for a while!" Mikey chimed in. Raph nodded. "Right. But even then Miles was always avoiding his family and making them worry and Peter didn't have much family left after his uncle was killed-" Mikey pouted a little, "I mean yeah I guess, but in the newest installment Miles finally comes clean to his family after this big battle with the other spider people who disagree with him and they all accept him and he gets the girl and his friends who understand him! It's not about pretending to be normal, it's about finding people who accept you for you! And there's no weirder place than New York, I mean April is a human raised by humans, and she's super chill and is even dating a mutant, there's no way she's the only one" Usagi nodded a little, "All things take time, but just as April understands you, others can too. This is merely a step towards that, you all deserve lives outside of this, and no matter what happens, or where you go, you'll always be family and you'll always be there for each other. You can worry about being Spider-Man when the time comes, but today it's just lunch. And I think a big tough guy like you can handle that without too much overthinking right? If anything, do it for Leo. He's been putting a lot of thought into asking you all to wear the pins more often. He wants to see you all being happy and doing the things you talked about wanting to do before all this happened.."

"I know you're right but.. Raph just has a bad feeling- I don't want to stop anyone or myself from doing stuff, and I don't want them to feel bad either. I just, I can't stop seeing it when I think about the pins." Usagi reached over gently patting his shoulder, "Well, lets face it together then. Okay? I've known you for what, three years now? There's nothing that you, or this family, can't do. What do you see?" Raph let out a small defeated sigh and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah.. I've heard that before.. But you're right. I can't over think things that haven't even happened yet." He paused for a moment giving another glance to his brothers before talking again, "When you brought Leo home. His arm had been torn apart, there was so much blood and.." He paused again, thinking back to Usagi stepping into the room with Leo in his arms, tear streaks staining Leos face that was masked with blood.. His arm broken to nothing and bleeding out the whole way into the medbay. There was bits of.. someone, stuck in his teeth and he couldn't stop throwing up till Donnie gave him a sedative.. Usagi gave him another sympathetic pat on his shoulder, Breaking Raph out of his thoughts, "It was hard." Usagi spoke quietly, "I understand, really. I know we don't always see eye to eye but Leo is... He's my everything. I have never cared for someone so deeply, he makes me want to be more than I am, and makes me feel so.. Seen. I wanna protect him with everything I have as long as he'll have me, probably as much as you do. And seeing him there in that hallway, bloody and weak.. And all scared and beaten up. It was jarring to see, and I can only imagine how you felt when I brought him back and you had to clean him up. And even now, two years later, it's hard not to get a little panicked when he insists he can go off alone somewhere. But the one thing I've learned about Leo is that he's so much more capable than anyone realizes, and sometimes even when you're unsure you just have to trust him, even when he doesn't have a plan, or doesn't know if he can win, even when he gets caught. You just have to trust him." 

"I do-" Raph said as he stood up, "And.. I don't hate you or nothin' y'know, I could never. You're a good guy, and I know Leo would've been in real trouble without you around to help him out with all the stuff he had goin' on. And we're real lucky he has you. " He paused a little and took his pin out, "Alright, I think we've had enough mushy stuff for the week, let's go have lunch" 

-_-_-_-

Leo, April and Casey walked into the room a moment later, seeing Usagi help fasten Mikey's pin on his hoodie. Casey gently pushed past the two to get a good look at how they all looked. "Oh wow, you guys look so.."

"Different?" Raph asked, tilting his head with a little smile. "I'm really not used to having hair-" Leo said as he put his pin on, "No no, I mean you look.. Like you. Its not bad, its just so weird to see you guys as human." Leo nodded a little, "Yeah I didn't think Donnie's hair would be in locs- It suits him though, less day to day maintenance and all." Donnie rolled his eyes and pointed back to Leo, "And you having those long bleached dead end dreads certainly fits your aesthetic dear brother." Leo rolled his eyes and decided just this once he'd let Donnie's comments slide, they didn't have time to wrestle right now. "You're just jealous I'm the hotter twin~" He said with a little laugh, "Are we all ready then?" 

Everyone nodded and followed Leo and Usagi outside, everyone looked a bit nervous, which was to be expected. No one wanted to get caught, or mess up on any first impressions on their first group outing topside since they all almost died. Usagi took Leo's hand with a little smile, "We aren't going far. Just up the block, figured a pizza place might suit you guys" 

"Pizza?!" Mikey repeated, pushing past April and Donnie to look at Usagi with stars in his eyes, "Ohmigosh you read my mind!!" Usagi chuckled a little as they walked, "Well you have said before how much you all love pizza, and I think a place with options might be good for Casey who doesn't have a lot of experience with the food of our time." Casey nodded a little, "Heheh.. Yeah, we didn't have very much there, and definitely not this kind of variety. I recently got to try something called ramen though- It was amazing!! Michelangelo was always a pretty good cook, even when we didn't have much he always found a way to make it enjoyable, or at the least, easy to get down." Raph tilted his head a little, wondering what kind of food they had in the future. He knew it was hard for stuff to grow, but was it really that bad? "No wonder you're so thin," Raph said with a little chuckle, Donnie raised his hand to pull the attention towards himself, "We should have a night where we all make our favorite foods and share them. I'm kind of interested now to try some of the food Casey was subject to- I mean, grew up with." April and Mikey both nodded, "Yes yes yes! I wanna try the pasta April's mom always makes for holidays! It sounds sooooo gooooood!!" Usagi slowed down for a second turning to Donnie, "Everyone's favorite..?" He asked in a quiet but serious tone. Leo stopped too, looking between the two. "Because, I wouldn't want to be invited to something like that only to make you all uncomfortable. Or well, most of you at least." Donnie hesitated for a moment but then nodded, "It's been about three years, I'm sure well be fine- And I mean, even if we don't eat it I know Leo and Casey will." Casey nodded, "I'm all for it" He said with a little shrug, "I don't know how well you're gonna like my cooking though-" 

"What's the main stuff you guys had to eat?" Mikey asked, ready with his phone to look up what sort of meals they could've made with whatever ingredients they had available. "Well.. When we had the mass greenhouse in the abandoned buildings we had a lot of vegetables, mostly tomato's, potatoes, and carrots I think. So we had a lot of soups, things that were easy to take with us in any container and could be had hot or cold. That kinda stuff. Oh but, we did have these crunchy like, candied flowers that Draxx always brought when he came to visit. But he never let just anyone eat them, it was special, he brought them when someone died, or when someone was born. But on a normal day we had cold soup left overs and Autolyse, which is kinda like bread?"

"I'm sorry, auto what?" April asked, more confused than ever. Donnie raised a finger, "It's flower and water, it's the most basic and bland version of bread, commonly made when people are lacking supplies. But as a side to other foods or when packed with things like protein it can be a pretty good survival food." Casey nodded, "I wouldn't call it my favorite food but if you really wanna know what food was like that's a pretty good start."

"So we're really gonna do Donnie's idea?" Leo asked, "Cause I mean, I'm all for it I just.." Raph gently patted Leo's back as a reassuring gesture, "I'm down, how bad could it be? Look Leo, I know you've been trying really hard lately to keep your side of things out of the house in trying not to freak us out and we've been really weird about all this but we're all grown ups here, I think it'd be good to do something fun like this. I mean Usagi's like family now, and I wanna get to know that side of him." Leo blushed a little as he looked back to Usagi, then smiled more and nodded, "Heh, since when did you get mature huh- Fair enough. Think tomorrow would be too soon? The new JJ movie is hitting the internet and Donnie said he could put it up on the projector for us to watch, might be a good activity to warrant having so much food."

"That's a great idea, I don't know how easily it'll be to get pops out of his chair though.."

"Eh, we can burn that bridge when we come to it."

"...Uh, Leo? Don't you mean.. Cross that bridge when we get to it?"

"Hm? Oh- No, no I did not."

"...I-"

"Oh look-" Usagi chimed in, pointing across the street to a fairly decent looking restaurant. "We're here." And now look, when I say decent, I really just mean decent by New York's standards, which in this case really just means there's no bugs in or on the food, there's still people inside who haven't choked or ran out screaming, and all of their lights work. You can't really ask for a better place in this of corner of the town when you're looking for cheap food and a table of 7.to just be ready when you walk in.  LRO Part 1 Part 5