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thespiritoflife · 3 years ago

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Pairing: Raymond Smith x reader

Summary: Your father finds himself in troubles with the dreaded Mickey and you pay for it.

Warnings: violence, nudity, swearing, mention of character's death, long story, grammatical errors

I don't know if I'll make a series of this. But you know, feedback is always appreciated!

Bloody rose 🥀

"You're doing great, Y / N!" my friend Tracy said.

I smirked. I did a Cartwheel for the last time and then I stopped.

"Thank you, hon," I shouted at her.

She handed me a towel. "Take it. Then we have to go," she muttered.

"Where?" I was in no hurry. Oh, I loved Fridays.

"At that party, you fool," she said.

I sighed. "Tracy, no. I'm not going to that party."

"Buut ... at least for me." she threw dog eyes at me.

"No. I don't understand why you want me there, at all. I'm not a party woman. I hate parties. And you'll have a bunch of buddies there. And your boyfriend."

"God, there's no fun with you. Fine. I'll go there alone. But how do you spend Friday night? Staring at the ceiling?"

We started walking to the parking lot. I laughed. "No, Tracy. I'll relax. I'll go to the bathtub. I'll open my wine ... relax. I deserve it."

She didn't say anything. She just turned her head inconspicuously in some direction. I turned and rolled my eyes.

Josh was there. My .. what? Classmate. And he kept flirting with me, even though I told him a thousand times that I am not interested.

"You should give him a chance, Y / N."

Sweet Tracy.

Don't get me wrong, Josh is a great guy. He's nice too. Funny. Athlete.

But he didn't attract me.

I was not interested in the relationship. I was attracted to guys, yes, but ... I haven't dated anyone yet. And that was strange, according to other people.

"Y / N! Are you going from gymnastics, aren't you? You look like a goddess. Let's go for coffee!"

I moved to my car, which he was leaning on.

I smiled falsely. "Josh .. I am.... Not. Interested..."

He waved his hand. "You're just saying that today."

I told him this every day, but okay.

"But you can change your mind tomorrow, can't she, Tracy?" he winked at her.

Tracy nodded. "As Y / N's best friend, I promise Y / N will be only yours for coffee tomorrow."

"Tracy!" I hissed.

She just shrugged innocently.

"That's great. See you tomorrow, then!" Josh hugged me and walked away.

"You're great. Not to hold my side, no." I told her angrily.

"Come on. You need fun. You can't just ... give him a chance at least once. Go on a date with him. Poor boy, he's been trying for you for years."

Her cell phone rang. I knew immediately who was calling her. I wanted to roll my eyes. Really?

"Love!! Yeah! Come after me, we'll meet ... yes, there. Don't wait. What? I love you too. Have a nice day, I'm sending kisses." Tracy's voice changed completely as she spoke to her boyfriend. But completely.

"I'll say goodbye to you now, Y / N. Goodbye, at school! And enjoy your date." she, too, walked away and waved cheerfully at me.

I got angry in the car and sighed in defeat.

I stood in front of a huge luxury villa. Yes, I live here.

I opened the door and a cat stopped at my feet immediately. I leaned over. "Mickey! You're hungry, aren't you?"

He whimpered in agreement. I gave him granules and stroked him. He was the only one in this house who kept me company.

I lived with my father. He stopped here that very rarely. He was really rich, he had his own business and he had some company.

I had a good relationship with him, but ... I missed him. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't have siblings and my mom ..

I looked at the painted picture. My father had her painted while she was still alive.

Yes, she died. She died in a car accident when I was very young. I don't remember her at all.

But she looked like me. She had my hair and my eyes.

Okay, I'm going to relax. I deserve it.

I was lying in the bathtub with my eyes closed. I have dreamed.

"You're so beautiful, Y / N .." someone whispered to me.

"I love you," I said, holding someone's hand.

"I can't believe I finally married you." someone said.

"Life is unpredictable .."

The smell of a candle hit my nose. That wouldn't be weird, I lit the candle myself. But what was strange was that ..

That I smelled a men's perfume.

I opened my eyes immediately.

An unknown man stood beside the bathtub, looking at me. If it weren't for the bizarre situation, I would have thought he was attractive. He had wide shoulders, an overgrown face, blond hair, blue eyes framed by stylish glasses.

I screamed in an instant.

What. The. Fuck. Is. This!

He immediately ran to me and stuffed my mouth. "Be quiet, sweetheart. Please," he said in a rather pleasant voice.

I shook my head. I didn't like it! An unknown man was at my house! And he probably wanted to kidnap me.

Suddenly male voices came from the hall. I thought I heard my father.

My father is here. Everything will be explained.

I calmed down.

The man noticed it too. "I'll let go of my hand now, but you can't scream, do you promise?"

I nodded.

He released his hand, but at that moment I got up (yes, I got up naked from the bathtub) and left and put my feet on the floor. I quickly took the only weapon I had and that was a hairdryer.

The man tried not to stare at my naked body, but he looked furious. "What the fuck are you doing, girl?"

"If you don't tell me what's going on in a moment, I'll throw the hairdryer in the bathtub!" I screamed.

"You're crazy."

I approached the bathtub.

"Would you like to kill yourself?"

"I have nothing else left! Tell!" I shouted.

He shook his head. "You'll find out at the right time ... well! Just don't get any closer to that fucking water!" he shouted.

"Your father cheated on us and he has to pay for it. He's talking to my boss Mickey now."

"You're fucking kidding!"

"I don't, girl. And now, if you were so kind ..." he approached me.

He carefully took my hairdryer and I stared into space. What?

I stomped on his leg, he screamed in pain and I wanted to run away from this bathroom, but he managed to grab me in his arms.

I swung in his arms like a furious puppy, and somehow he couldn't keep his balance and we both ended up in the bathtub again.

He was with me.

"Get off me! Immediately!" I demanded. I didn't like it, to hang out with a naked guy like that.

He took my hands. I couldn't run away from him. "If you try anything else, you'll just make trouble, young lady. Do you understand?"

I was silent.

"You understand?" he repeated the question.

I nodded angrily. What was I supposed to do?

He released me carefully and came out of the bathtub angrily.

He mumbled something under his nose, but I didn't listen to him.

I pressed my knees together. I tried not to cry. It's over with me.

"Do you have any clothes here?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I said.

"Come on. Don't lie," he demanded an answer.

I gave it up. "My father has something in that locker," I pointed to the locker.

The man walked over to her and opened it. He started rummaging in it, but I didn't listen to him, I didn't notice.

It will be over with me.

I will die.

The man had changed in the meantime, but I wasn't looking at him.

I pressed my knees together and stared at the ceiling.

He walked over to me and looked at me regretfully.

"Put this on, please." he held my clothes in his hand.

I had no desire to object.

I wanted to get up and fulfill his wish, but he stopped me. "I'll leave your privacy. I'll be at the door."

I piled up and got dressed. He was a gentleman.. who wants to kidnap me or something.

He locked the door and left.

HE ALREADY SAW ME NAKED but ok.

Dressed, I carefully opened the door. He was there, leaning. He offered me his shoulder, but I refused.

I walked into that fucking living room, where male voices came from.

I saw a few men. Everyone in tuxedos and on the couch was sitting with my father. He looked startled.

"Y / N!" he shouted.

"What's going on, Dad? Will you kindly explain it to me?"

"I'd hear that, too," a man shrugged.

I ignored him and looked at my father. "So?"

"Y / N, honey .. I didn't mean .."

"What did you do? Tell me straight." I asked him.

"I ... I ... I had some business with them. I was late paying and ..."

"And?"

My father must have had something on his tongue, he didn't want to answer.

The guy answered me. "He killed our man."

I felt sick. "You're making fun of me, aren't you? My father wouldn't kill in his life ..."

"Confess to her."

"I'm sorry ..." my father looked at me.

I fell to my knees. "Father, what did you do? You threw us in danger! We will die for you! You should not have gotten involved with any mafia!"

"I am sorry.."

"I don't want to hear anything from you anymore." I wanted to cry, but I was silent. I screamed inside.

The cat also broke into the living room.

"Mickey," I whispered and took him in my arms. He has always been my support.

The man, apparently the boss of it all, was intrigued. "What did you call him?"

"Mickey," I said.

The man who was in the bathtub with me laughed.

The boss frowned at him. "What happened to you, Raymond? You're in a different outfit."

How could they be so callous?

"That's a long story," he said, looking at me.

I kept clutching Mickey, even though he was starting to get uncomfortable.

"Hey, let go of that cat, we need to talk." the boss spoke to me.

"About what? Kill me right now," I shrugged.

The man laughed. "No, it won't work that way. I have no plans to kill you. You're just a daughter ... of an evil father. You'll pay differently."

Sweat ran down my forehead. "What are you going to do with my father?"

"It's none of your business anymore," he replied.

"Leave him alone. You better kill me." I declared and finally released the cat. He was running away from here.

He didn't want to be here. Like me.

"Y / N!" my father shouted, but I ignored him.

The boss scratched his chin. "I call it ... child's love. Too bad your father doesn't love you that much. He offered your life to save his life."

For the second time, I felt like throwing up.

"What? That ... really?" I looked at him. I had tears in my eyes. Finally, some tears.

It hurt. Like hell. My father wanted to say something, but I didn't listen to him.

My father betrayed me.

"But we won't grant his wish, will we, Ray?"

The man in the bathroom with me, apparently Raymond, nodded.

"Take the girl away, Ray." the boss stood up.

Raymond came up to me. I did not understand.

He took me. "Come with me.."

"What, no!" I shouted.

Raymond looked at me. "Trust me, you don't want to see this. Come on."

"What..."

And then it went awry. Raymond lost his temper with me, grabbed me hard, and took me away. I didn't understand why.

And then I understood.

One of the boss's men aimed his gun at my father. But my father did something weird. He picked his gun by himself and shot himself in the forehead.

And suddenly I heard it. The sound of a gun.

"No no!!!" I screamed.

"Let me go!" I shouted. I already cried. My father fell to the ground dead with a hole in the middle of his forehead.

"It's after him. It's his fault, sweetheart... he's decided that way ..."

He said something else to me, but I didn't notice him because I cried a lot.

I only heard snippets of sentences.

"... take her with you ...."

"... why me? I have nothing to do with her, Mickey ..."

"Don't ask me why, just do it until we decide what to do with her. She looks awful, put her to bed."

"Of course she looks awful. She lost her father ... I'll do as you say, boss ..."

Some days seem so boring. Also, ordinary. Immutable. Nothing is happening.

And then there are such days. When something happens that will change your life forever.

#the gentlemen #raymond smith #raymond #raymond smith x reader #raymond smith x you #raymond smith x y/n #charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam x you #raymond smith imagine

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

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❛ YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE ❜

✨ REQUEST: hermanikiiiiiii i wanted to request you the prompt number 1 with coco cruz!!thank you, love you muchisisimoooooo💕💕

✨ PROMPTS: “Wait, you love me? Like Garfield loves Lasagna?”

✨ MADE BY: Juls.

Gif credit: to my lovely @supervalcsi.

WORDS: about 2k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤

❚❙ JOHNNY ‘COCO’ CRUZ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

When you heard that Coco had been shot, your heart suddenly stopped. It was four days ago in some kind of dog's fight, as Chuckie told you at the scrapyard. Bishop needed someone to take care of him while they were investigating what happened, so you offered yourself without doubting it.

Much to your regret, you are only two good friends, even if you feel more things that you can't explain, about which you haven't talked with anyone. And thanks to your work in the hospital, you managed a room only for him, so he could rest as much as he wanted, as much as he needed. But your back hurts like hell after being sleeping on the sofa, close to the bed, just to make sure that you were able to attend to all his necessities for minimal they were.

These days there, you have learned a lot about him, about his curiosities, about his fears; spending his time awake talking with you to keep his mind entertained, to not think about the pain in his lower abdomen. Your mates took the bullet in a jiffy, but, normally, the sorrow remains for a couple of weeks. Luckily, he only complained when the hour of the next turn of medicines was close.

You have tried to not think about your feelings the time you were in the hospital, but it was impossible. All you wanted to do was to lie by his side on the bed, embrace him between your arms and kiss him, having to conform yourself with holding his hand and resting your cheek on the mattress. Your eyes have never left his eyes, not even when he was sleeping, on alert in case of an unforeseen because of pain, or an infection, or God who knows. You were really paranoid.

“You ready?”

Coco glared at you, slightly tilting his head. You had asked the same question five times in the last two minutes. Offering him a hand to secure himself, the mexican put down from the hospital bed, ready to leave and go home. Angel and Gilly had cleaned his house, even if you insisted to Bishop that you could do it. But he asked you back to stay with him till the next morning, so he wouldn't stay the night alone until they came back from the other side of the border.

Two knocks in the opened door brought you back to reality from your own thoughts, in the meantime that you helped Coco to wear his leather kutte. Directing your tired eyes to the entrance of the room, you found three Vicki's girls, happily waving their hands. Raising an eyebrow confused and your lips pressed, they came in without asking.

“Papi, we've missed you”. The latin and playful tone of voice from Mariela, as she swung her hips to your friend, gave you shivers.

In just one sight, your presence was pushed to the background. These girls hadn't even called to ask about his state of health and, now, they were there as if they did all the work you did —delighted, of course. Trying to keep calm, you put Coco's clothes into his bag, zipping it when everything is ready.

“No te preocupes, we take care of him now”. Carolina sentenced with contempt and superiority, grabbing his stuff ready to abandon the hospital.

“Yeah, mami. Go home and rest”. His words hurt. More than a bullet.

Preferring their company besides yours let you know that he hadn't taken in count what you did. And yes, you did it because you wanted, but you also thought that maybe could mean a step ahead. But it wasn't. Not saying a word, doing anything but a simple nod with your chin, you grabbed your bag to step out from there. Ashamed. Feeling stupid.

Two weeks have passed and Coco has come back to the clubhouse. This time you have been doing extra shifts to compensate for your lost days taking care of him, almost walking like a zombie from home to work, and from work to home. So, when Bishop invites you to a party in his honor, you decline it. You are too tired physically to assist and tired mentally for foolishness. What is the point of going to a party to see Coco having fun with those bitches? You have had enough after two weeks without receiving a single text to thank you or to know how you are. He hasn't even cared about the fact that you haven't shown up in the club for two weeks. That's the little he thinks in your friendship.

Zapping from one channel to another, you try to find something to watch. A movie, a tv show, whatever that helps to distract your mind, while you enjoy thai noodles with beef. Finally finding an action movie, you cover yourself with a cozy blanket, grabbing the cardboard box to start your dinner. The ringtone of your phone interrupts your calm, with Coco's name on the screen. At first, you don't want to answer, but he continues insisting for more than three long minutes. Hanging up and calling again. With a furious growl installed in your throat, you leave over the table your dinner to grab your phone.

“The fuck means you aren' comen'?”

He doesn't even let you say hi or how are you.

“It means that I'm tired and I have to work at five”.

“I don' think one damn beer reverses your sleeping schedule, Yo' Grace”.

“Fuck you, Jonathan. I've been working double shifts to cover the hours I was taking care of you in th—”.

“Nobody asked you to do it”.

Eyes widened and your heart racing. You can't believe he just said that.

“Yeah, nobody did. But your hermanos preferred to be on the other side of the border. Your putas preferred to be partying and sucking dicks in Vicki's. And your mamá sent me pal' carajo when I called to tell her what happened. I did it because I was your friend. Because I cared about you. Because seeing you there with… all those tubes was killing me. That shit continues giving me nightmares every fucking night. But you shit on that. You kicked me as soon as your putas came to the hospital”. You don't know when you have started to cry, more than because of the rage than because of the sadness. “I'm sorry if I'm too tired to drink a fucking beer, but my job is more important than a person who doesn't give a shit about me, who hasn't called or text me in two weeks, who only wants my company when no one else is around. Have fun in your damn party and fuck all those whores to thank them for picking you up from the hospital, but didn't care about how you were after being shot”.

Hanging up, you toss the phone somewhere on the table, wrapping your body with the blanket and lying down on the sofa. Trying to contain the tears, the only thing you earn is to cry bitterness. You can't understand why he only has noticed your absence at the party. What has changed? Probably it was his egocentrism working, wanting to be surrounded by a lot of people, not caring if they're his friends or not. But you're done being his lapdog.

About to fall asleep, the angry hits in the main door make you suddenly wake up agitated.

“Open up!”

The rage is consuming you again after hearing the strong mexican accent, taking three long strides towards it to receive him with your reddened crystal eyes.

“What the fuck 'you want now? Haven't you had enough beating myself up?”

“You're fuckin' dramatic”. He spits in your face, stopping with a foot the slam to his about to close the door again. “I didn't talk to you because you were working, bu' you didn't talk to me either”.

“Yeah, because you were served with your bitches. Go fuck yourself, Jonathan”.

“Don' call me like that again”. Coco grunts taking a step into your house. “You had to work, they came to cover your back”.

“Oh, please, don't make me laugh. They just wanted to have the credits of taking care of you, so you will expend more money with them. That's the only thing they care about you. Wake up from your world of fantasy, Coco. If you weren't part of the MC, you wouldn't be a shit for them; just another fucking soldier with a broken home”. You can't help but push his chest with both hands, driven by anger.

At first, he doesn't say anything. He looks thoughtful, being aware of the truth in your words. And it hurts that you have to be the one to open his eyes. The problem is that you weren't thinking while talking, pulling your gaze away from him and pressing your trembling lips, one against the other.

“I'm sorry”. You babble, cleaning your tears with the back of your left hand. “I didn't mea—”.

“But you said so”. Coco interrupts you with a husky tone of voice, bristling every inch of skin of your anatomy. “That's wha' I am without my kutte. An ex-soldier, a criminal, an outlaw. I spend my money on them because they take care of me, one way or another”.

“I did it too”.

“So, what? What you want? Money? Tell me an amount”.

Squinting at him, you can't help but chuckle with a painful and bitter laugh.

“I did it because I love you, not because I want your money”. You confess, knowing there's no going back. “I don't care about your money, nor your job, nor about your kutte. I love you because you make me happy. After all, for me, there's nothing better than a hug of yours, because you… you are simply amazing. You're intelligent, funny, loyal. And I wish that you could see yourself through my eyes, Coco”.

He, not saying anything, is killing you slowly. Barely breathing, you cross your arms over your chest to hide the fact that your lungs aren't receiving any air.

“I thought that after being shot, you realized you only live once. And that… after being those… boring days with me, you realized that you preferred the company of these other girls. The funny part of being alive. So I just pulled myself away”. Taking a small pause, you bow down your head, cleaning your tears again. “These weeks have been torture. I've written you a lot of texts that I haven't sent… and I've been a lot of times about to call you. But 'you know that… feeling when you think... the other person is not gonna answer you, because maybe is too busy for you? That shit has been destroying me”.

Hoping that Coco finally is going to speak, he remains silent. Looking at you openmouthed, processing all the information you have just give him.

“Can you, ple—please, say something?” You beg almost shaking.

“Wait, you… love me? Like… Garfield loves lasagna?”

Raising your eyes, pouting at him, you know that he's trying to make you laugh after understanding all the pain you have been through. Lonely. Without talking about it with anyone.

“I'm sorry, mami… I just… fuck”.

Cupping your cheeks onto his hands, Coco slams his lips on yours, tasting the salty tears you have shed because of him. The sloppy kisses bring some more air to your lungs, calming your racing pulse and making you feel less unhappy. As your fingers get intertwined in his shirt, crinkling under your grip, he urges you to walk backward so he can close the main door with a kick.

“God knows I'm so fuckin' sorry… Please, forgive me”. Coco's whispers brush your lips, keeping his eyes closed just like yours. “I'm gonna take care of you now, okay?”.

Nodding in silence, you place your arms around his middle back, hiding your face into his chest. His strong scent brings you back to life, while his arms wrap you tightly to comfort all the pain he has provoked you without knowing it.

“I just want you, ma'. No one else. Just you”.

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ✨#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc #johnny coco cruz x reader #johnny coco cruz imagine #coco cruz imagine #coco cruz x reader #coco cruz

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getitinbusan · 5 years ago

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The Studio Sessions Part 5 Smut

It's Min Yoongi's birthday and you're ready to give him whatever he wants. When he makes a sarcastic wish while blowing out the candles he didn't think you'd take it seriously. But he's glad you did.

When word spreads about these special "Studio Sessions" everyone wants to collaborate. A chaptered 0T7 smut.

These stand alone but you won't want to miss reading all of them!

The Collaborators so far:

Taehyung

Jimin

J-Hope & Joon

Jin

The Jungkook Collaboration

You kissed Yoongi's cheek, "I'm going to go grab a shower and some clothes that don't have cum all over them."

He swatted your ass as you stood up, "Shall I summon the Golden Maknae?"

You scrunched your face in thought, "I'm not sure how we should approach him Yoongs, he's a bit of a scared rabbit."

Yoongi nodded thinking the same thing, in many ways Jungkook was just a kid trapped in a man's body.

"I'll figure it out, in the meantime you've got about ½ an hour of solid uninterrupted work time." You ruffled his hair, "I'll be back!"

_______________________________

Freshly scrubbed you made your way back to the Genius Lab. Just about to turn the corner you stopped, Jungkook, head down, was pacing back and forth in front of the door.

When he noticed he was no longer alone his eyes locked on to you, his expression serious.

You kissed his cheek, it was smooth and his skin smelt like fresh apricots. "Hey, Kookie, what's up? Isn't Yoongi answering the door?"

Not skipping a beat he abruptly asked, "Don't you want to fuck me Noona?"

"Oh," You stepped back, "what's going on here Guk?"

His ears went red, "Taehyung, he told me this morning about….what you guys did. Then Jimin, then Joon and Hobi and I saw Jin Hyung leave about half an hour ago smiling stupidly...but nobody called me."

"So you've been standing here wondering why you weren't invited?"

He nodded, "I've been waiting for my turn all day, I even rubbed one out so I'd last longer for you." Reaching out he touched the fuzzy sweater that covered your arm.

So much for a scared rabbit.

"You placed your hands on his chest, "Guk, you were the prize. I saved you for last because I wanted you the most."

Looking up at him, small smiles graced both your faces as the distance between your lips lessened to nothing. It started soft and passionate but quickly moved to lustful and needy.

"I've thought of a million different ways to get you off Noona, how many times am I allowed to make you cum?"

Your hands were wrapped in his hair and your breath was ragged, "Yes..."

He laughed, "Are you that far gone already?" He shoved his leg between yours, knee slightly bent and grabbed your hips.

As your tongues explored each other's mouths he guided you up and down his thigh. You couldn't help but moan out loud as your clit found friction on his flexed muscle.

Dragging his lips to your collarbone he sucked hard, "Does all of you taste this good Noona?

Your mind was blank as you were quickly unravelling, no thought to the Big Hit security cameras catching you humping Kookie's leg in the hallway. He, however, knowing someone was watching, turned and smiled towards them.

"Crying out as you came, he held your body up against his. Turning the handle you both stumbled mouths attached into the studio.

Jungkook swung you over to the couch and grabbed at your legs to remove your pants.

"Don't mind me I guess?" Yoongi frowned from his chair.

"So no problems getting him here huh Y/N?"

Jungkook looked towards him, "Shit, is this okay?"

"Since I already heard her cumming in the hallway it might be a little late for permissions."

He tongued the inside of his cheek, "I mean, both of you have been fantasizing about this since day one so... just fuck and get it over with."

You knew he wasn't happy, but until he called it, you weren't about to stop.

Jungkook got back to removing your pants. He either didn't notice or didn't care that he'd agitated your boyfriend.

Sucking two fingers he pushed your now bare legs apart and slid them inside you.

He moaned at the sight, "You're so beautiful Noona, look at how they slide right in.

Putting in a third he cupped his hand. Rocking it quickly, his fingers hit your g spot, palm rubbing your clit simultaneously. He was already making your brain mush and his dick hadn't even left his pants.

As his right hand worked tirelessly to get you to orgasm number two. His left hand raised your shirt and he grinned devilishly, "No bra?"

He squeezed the base of your breast and latched his mouth onto your hardened nipple. Every nerve ending in your body was overcome with pleasure as he tugged it between his lips.

Yoongi turned his chair to watch, you were unusually quiet except for the heavy breathing. "You okay babe?" He asked seriously.

"Uh-huh, yes...oh my god," barely able to form thoughts let alone words you were having an out of body experience.

He stared at your face, even screwed up in pleasure you were still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Sensing his gaze you forced your eyes open, both of you locked onto each other as Jungkook made you squirt all over the couch.

The Maknae sat back looking in amazement at the mess he just helped create, "I... wow, I didn't think that..shit."

His breathing was heavy and his cock strained against his jeans but he still wasn't ready to please himself. "Can I lick you now?"

"Jesus Christ you're a fucking machine Jungkook, you're making the rest of us look bad."

He smiled his bunny grin at Yoongi's praise and immediately got to work between your legs.

Yoongi came over and kissed you as Guk's tongue went on exploring. "I'm going upstairs. You don't need me here for this one."

"Wait, what..why? Do you want us to stop?" I don't want this if you don't baby…" Jungkook froze unsure of what to do.

Yoongi tenderly touched your cheek, "I'm okay, " he motioned to Guk, "this is okay. I trust you both."

Your mouth was open, yet you felt speechless. "Yoongi...I love you…"

"I know baby, I love you too."

He patted Guk on the shoulder, take care of my girl."

The door closing behind him you found yourself alone with Jungkook.

"Are you okay Noona?"

You hesitated for a moment but made your mind up fast, "Ask me after you make me cum again Kookie."

Smiling so hard his dimples appeared and your heart melted.

Resting his hand on your pubic mound he pulled the skin taught making your clit stand at attention. He stared at you as he teased it with just the pointed tip of his tongue.

Your body jumped, "It's too much Kookie!"

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked while he kept naughtily flicking it.

"God, no, don't stop...just…"

He switched to soft sloppy sucks and you were done. Convulsing around nothing you came again, the couch beneath you was soaked.

Righting himself, he motioned for your hand, "Stand up."

He grabbed the blanket that had been thrown over the chair and placed it on the floor. Lifting his sweatshirt over his head he folded it into a makeshift pillow and set it on the blanket.

You couldn't help but stare at his body. Lean muscle, taut, tan skin and tattoos that were rarely displayed were on full view before you.

"When did you do all this growing up?"

You placed your hand on his chest and he put his over top, "Not soon enough or you would have been mine."

"You shouldn't say things like that Guk, you might make me fall in love with you."

You gave his rock hard nipples a teasing little pinch and he moaned.

"Can you play with them a little Noona?"

You felt your walls pulse at his request, what wouldn't you do for him right now?

Replacing your fingers with your mouth you ran your tongue over them, goosebumps covered his body as you suckled.

Letting your hand wander lower, his jeans still on, you couldn't take another minute of anticipation.

Grabbing his sweatshirt to kneel on, you kissed your way down his abs. Splaying your fingers over his soft pubic trail you unhitched his button as your heart raced.

Sliding the zipper down slowly, revealed his lack of underwear. He was still painfully tucked in as you reached in to release him.

Impatiently he pushed the denim down just enough that he freed himself into your waiting hand. "How are you so perfect Jungkook?"

He felt heavy in your mouth, big and smooth as your lips slid up and down his cock. Holding your hair back he watched. No pushing or pulling he just stood enjoying the feeling of your mouth finally wrapped around him.

Working him over hand and mouth in tandem he got more vocal. "So good, oh my god, Noona."

His balls were getting tighter in your palm and you knew he was almost there. You pulled him out of your mouth and kept stroking, "Are you going to cum for me Kookie?"

His head was back and his eyes were closed as he slowly rocked himself into your strokes. He moaned, "No I want to be inside you Noona," he pulled away, his cock so hard it stuck straight out.

Laying back you opened your legs for him. "Do I need a condom?" He asked as he stroked himself.

You shook your head no.

"You're gonna let me cum in you?"

God he was so sweet, you nodded and smiled.

He got quiet, "I can't believe I can finally have you, I've wanted this for so long." Laying over you he was slow and gentle, almost afraid.

"I want you so badly Jungkook, please…"

He held your hips as he entered you, taking long deep strokes you felt like you could black out in ecstasy.

"You feel so good I'm not gonna last," he was so wrecked.

"Jungkook you've taken such good care of me tonight, let me ride you."

Wrapping his arms around you he rolled you on top. You held still looking down at him.

Fuck, you were fucked. There were feelings here, you knew it, he knew it.

Deciding the only way out was through, you smiled and went hard.

Grinding yourself onto his cock he moaned beautifully underneath you as your walls squeezed him.

Cumming for the fourth time you were getting tired and sloppy. Your hands were pressed to his chest holding you upright as your hips clapped together.

He began fucking himself furiously into you, chasing his orgasm. His closed eyes leaked out tears as he came hard shooting deep inside you.

"I can't believe you just let me do that to you."

_______________________________

Laying cuddled up beside him, he buried his face in your neck and whispered quietly, "Was it ok Noona? Was I worth waiting for?"

"I can't believe you'd even have to ask that Jungkook, nobodies ever made me feel that good."

He smiled shyly, "I'm glad. I was afraid I wouldn't be good my first time."

You sat upright absolutely stunned at his revelation. "That was your first...and you gave yourself to me?"

He smiled that little boy smile that now seemed so contradictory, "I've always loved you Y/N."

Your heart swelled and broke all at once. "Jungkook, was I worth waiting for?"

His strong arms pulled you closer and he kissed your lips, "So worth waiting for."

Laying in silence you couldn't stop thinking about being his first. You were perplexed that his skill level didn't match his experience. Then it dawned on you.

"Jungkook?"

He nodded

"How much fucking porn do you watch?"

_______________________________

Yoongi

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honeyfieldsforever · 3 years ago

Text

hello! sorry if this is bad i literally haven't wrote in forever 😆 and this is really unrealistic and unaccurate but that's why it's called fanfiction, eh? hope you enjoy!!

"what? you can send me back in time?" i asked to the old man in front of me in disbelief.

"correct." he nodded, leaning on his wooden cane.

"right, go on then, send me back to 1958." i said confidently, still not believing the man.

"as you wish..." his voice faded away as my vision went completely black, feeling as if my life flashed before my eyes.

*time skip lolol*

"is she even alive?" you hear quiet mumbles of a young liverpudlian boy.

"course she is, don't be stupid lennon." another boy says in a strong scouse accent.

"well we can't just leave her here, she'll freeze to death!" it sounded as if you were surrounded by a group of the boys.

you feel someone's arms wrap around you, lifting you up and carrying you bridal style to god knows where. your mind was still hazy at this point and you struggled to keep your eyes open, so you didn't resist being carried.

"your parents better not be home, what will they do if you just carry an unconscious girl into the house?" one of the boys trailing behind exclaims.

"they're not, they've went out for the day." the one with the scouse accent who was presumably carrying you responds.

eventually you were brought into a house and laid gently down onto a bed.

"she's awfully cold, go make her a cuppa macca."

by now you were slowly gaining more consciousness and able to peel open your eyes.

"she's alive!!" one of them shouts and throws their arms in the air as if it was a celebration.

"oh shut up, lennon."

"what's happening?" i mumble, rubbing my eyes and slowly sitting up.

"oh hello love, you were lying in an alleyway completely knocked out and you looked as if you were going to die of hypothermia!" the scouser says with a toothy smile. the other boys in the room were all wearing leather jackets with slightly elvis-style hair. my eyebrows furrowed as i tried to comprehend where i was and who i was with.

"here, take this for now. i'm george, george harrison." george takes off his jacket and wraps it around me as i stare at him in disbelief.

he can't possibly be george harrison? he's so.. young. i have to be dreaming.

"and i'm john lennon!" john exclaims and makes a funny face, causing me to giggle.

"oh she's awake! here's your cuppa love." another boy walks in with a cup of hot tea and winks.

"i'm paul and that's pete." paul waves and points to who i presume is pete standing in the corner.

my smile fades as i subtly pinch myself and realise that i'm actually in a room with the fucking beatles before they were famous.

"wow, this is lovely, but.. what year is it?" i say, sort of clueless.

"oh dear, have you hit your head?" paul asked worriedly and presses his hand to my head, checking my temperature or whatever.

"its the 3rd of october 1958." george says with concern in his eyes.

"oh, yes. right. i just forgot. silly me." i say on the verge of a breakdown.

"ah, right. so what were you doing unconscious lying in an alley next to the club we were playing in?" john says, sort of laughing it off.

"erm, i really don't know actually. ill probably remember later." i say, smiling through the pain. the boys shrug their shoulders.

"well, we've never seen you about before. where do you stay about?" george says. after this question im silent. i don't know how to respond, everything just seems so overwhelming.

"do you want me to take you out for a walk or something and we can talk?" george says, placing his hand over mine and i just nod quietly.

"right, we'll be back in a while." george and i get up and walk out the door.

i wrap george's leather jacket tighter around myself as the cold air hits us.

"so, what's happened, you ran away or something?" george asks with his hands in his pockets as we start walking. in response to this question i just broke down, tears started streaming down my face. i opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"oh darling, what's the matter?" he says softly and wraps one of his arms around me, using his other hand to wipe away my tears.

"you won't believe me." i cry, my breath uneven.

"it doesn't matter, you can tell me." he smiles sympathetically.

"im from the future." i state, causing him to stop in his tracks and just stare at me in disbelief.

"i told you you wouldn't believe me." i chuckle, sniffling.

"no no, i believe you, i just..." george trails off, still in disbelief.

i shrug my shoulders and continue walking, leaving george to comprehend what i just confessed. i hear footsteps running towards me and george stands in front of me, stopping me in my tracks.

before i knew it he cups my cheek and presses a soft kiss to my lips. as i pulled away i looked into his eyes, a combination of love and sadness. i smiled slightly and pulled him in for another kiss, this time longer and more passionate.

"look, we'll sort something out, we can try get you back to the future, or me and the lads are going to hamburg soon, you can come with us! in the meantime you can stay with me!" he says excitedly, still holding my face.

"id love that. just give me time to think and we'll take things one day at a time, yeah?" i smile as he pulls me in for yet another kiss.

#60s #50s #beatles #george harrison #classic rock #hot lol #john lennon #paul mccartney #music #ringo starr #the beatles #pete best #teddy boy #time travel #fanfic #fanfiction #beatles fanfiction

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captainjanegay · 4 years ago

Text

Summary: Bucky is a single dad coming back from a work trip with a very bored, very whiney 7-year-old girl. A mysterious stranger with a kind heart and a notebook full of doodles comes to the rescue.

A/N: It's been... so long since I've updated this fic. I'm sorry but life got in the way and I couldn't bring myself to write anything. Here I come with apologies and hopes that you haven't forgotten about the adventures of Bucky, Alex and Steve. I'm gonna treat you with the longest chapter I've ever written (it's like 5.3k). I hope you'll like it, I got a bit carried away and my space-nerdiness is showing every now and then.

The chapters will probably come very irregularly from now on but I'll try my best not to have too long gaps between each update. I love you all and — as always — thank you so, so much for your continuous support. I cherish every single reader, every single like and every single comment you leave here :')

Chapter 7

(5.2k)

When Monday rolls around, Bucky faces New York’s chilly morning as he makes his way to work. It’s been only a few days since he got sick, but he feels significantly better now. His nose might still be stuffed and his throat might feel a bit scratchy, but he is mostly fine. No more coughing fits, no more fever. And it’s not like he could say no when his boss called him to check how he was doing and ask if he’d be able to come by before Christmas to do some required maintenance work.

But it’s fine, since the work at the Institute has slowed down, many people have already taken their days off for the Christmas break. It’s calmer than usual and Bucky can do whatever he’s supposed to do in peace.

It's a bit past noon and Bucky's mindlessly staring at the progress bar on his screen and enjoys his coffee. The peace and quiet — excluding his Christmas playlist playing in the background — is disturbed by the ringing of his phone. Slightly startled, Bucky looks around, searching for the device. After a quick glance at the screen, he answers the call.

"Hi, Buck!" Steve says, his voice soft and warm. "I hope I didn't wake you up or anything. Just wanted to check up on you, see how you're feeling."

"That's very sweet of you," Bucky says, his lips spreading in a smile. "And I'm fine, thank you. Currently waiting for the data backup to finish so you've disrupted my staring contest with the progress bar."

Steve doesn't appreciate the joke. Instead, he asks, "You're at work?" After receiving an affirmative hum, he lets out a slightly annoyed huff. "Why? You should still be in bed! Three days ago you've been barely able to get up for longer than 10 minutes. You should still rest, Buck."

"It's been six days ago, thank you very much," Bucky answers. "And I'm fine, Steve. I promise. I wouldn't come if I was still feeling sick, but the fever's been gone for a few days," two but Steve doesn't have to know that, "and I'm not coughing anymore. I'm as fit as a fiddle."

"I can hear you sniffle."

"It's the allergies," Bucky lies and that makes Steve laugh, although a bit exasperated.

"You're horrible," he says. "Bet you haven't even eaten breakfast or drink enough water or like... didn’t even wear a hat even though you’re sick."

"I did have a toast while I ran to catch the train. And now I'm having coffee for lunch. And it’s not even that cold."

An honest-to-God gasp escapes Steve's mouth after he hears that. Of course he's a Mr. Healthy Lifestyle, Bucky shouldn't even be surprised.

"How are you even functioning? You gotta take care of yourself, Buck."

Bucky's heart skips a bit. It's nice to have someone worry about him. Even if he's being dragged in the meantime. And it was nice when Steve took care of him and Alex back when Bucky was too sick to do this. Of course, he has people who do that. Clint, Tasha, Scott -- he can always count on them. But somehow it feels different with Steve. Steve hasn't been around for years like the others, he's known Bucky for just a few months and he still decided to offer his kindness and care. This thought made Bucky's heart do somersaults in his chest.

So did the fact that Steve had a nickname to Bucky's nickname. And he's been using it a lot. Bucky really likes it.

"I'm functioning very well, thank you. And so is Alex, because I'm not as hopeless in taking care of her, luckily," Bucky chuckles. Before Steve can't say anything, Bucky adds, "Besides, I've been able to survive 28 years like this so don't be overdramatic. No need to go all mother hen on me."

"Oh, you think this is overdramatic?" Steve asks, amused. "You clearly don't know what me being overdramatic is, pal. This is just some simple, friendly check-in."

"Okay, now I'm kinda curious," Bucky says. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. "Hypothetically, what would one have to do to see what is Steve Rogers's definition of overdramatic?"

It makes Steve let out another laugh. "Careful what you wish for, Buck." It sounds like Steve wants to say something else but there's some noise in the background and his voice becomes distant and inaudible for a moment. When he comes back, he says with a sigh, "Sorry 'bout that. I need to go back to work. I'm glad you're feeling better but eat a proper meal or I'll hunt you down."

"Oh, so no mother hen anymore, were going straight to threats, okay." Bucky nods to himself and Steve huffs out a laugh. "Thanks for the call, Steve. It's very sweet of you. Have a nice day."

"You, too. Say hi to Alex from me."

"I will. Bye, Steve."

A small smile is still present on Bucky's face when a few hours later he's picking Alex up from school. It grows bigger when she runs towards him down the stairs, her haphazardly wrapped scarf fluttering behind her. He takes a moment to tuck it properly and then takes Alex's backpack from her.

“How was school today?” Bucky asks as they head home.

“Fine. We played soccer and I scored once!” Alex answers proudly. “Even Adrian didn’t and he’s very good. Maya didn’t want to play ‘cause she says girls shouldn’t play soccer.”

“Jokes on her, because we have a women’s national soccer team and they’re the best. They’re the world champions.”

A gasps escapes Alex’s mouth. “Really? That’s so cool! I want to be a soccer player when I grow up!”

“Not a ballerina, anymore?” Bucky asks, with a small smile.

“No, I’m gonna be a ballerina but I’m gonna play soccer sometimes, too. But that’s after I’ll fly to the moon!”

Bucky only nods and grins at her. He wouldn’t be surprised in the least if she actually pulled that off in the future. There weren’t many things that could stop her since she decided upon something.

“How’s space?” Alex asks, swinging their hands back and forth.

Bucky chuckles. It’s a bit of a tradition at this point. He doesn’t really remember how it started but now she never asks him “how’s work” but it’s always “how’s space?”. Personally, Bucky loves it. It makes him feel like he’s doing much cooler things that he really does.

“Pretty boring, sadly,” he admits. “Didn’t have much to do today and many people are on their breaks so no fun space facts to share today. I chatted on the phone with Steve and he wanted me to say hi to you.”

“Oh, is he coming over today?”

Slightly confused with the question, Bucky shakes his head. “No, he’s not. We just talked on the phone. Why?”

“I don’t know, I thought you liked Steve.”

“Well, I do. I like uncle Scott too but we don’t hang out with him every day, either. Steve has his own life and stuff to do, so we shouldn’t bother him all the time.”

Alex makes a small hum and Bucky’s not sure if it’s a dismissive or an agreeing one. After a moment, she adds, “I bet he wouldn’t mind though. He told me he really likes you.”

“What? When?” The revelation almost makes Bucky stop in the middle of the pavement. The biggest surprise is not that Steve likes him, Bucky has figured out this much after all those times they’ve hung out together. What really takes him aback is that apparently his daughter and Steve are having conversations about him when he’s not there.

“When you were sick and Steve went to ballet class with me. I told him he’s cool and I’m happy you have him so you’re not so lonely. And he said he thinks we’re really cool too and that he likes us a lot.”

This time Bucky slows down and eventually stops. There’s a furrow between his brows when he looks at Alex.

“Why would you think I’m lonely, munchkin? I’m not, I have you and mama, uncle Clint and Scott. And now Steve. I’m more than fine.”

“Well… Okay, maybe I didn’t mean lonely. But sometimes when you have a lot to do and you worry and mama or uncle Clint are busy you do this—” Alex furrows her brows and pouts, apparently imitating a worried Bucky “and you’re quiet and worried. And now you smile even more than you did. You smile all the time when you text Steve.”

For a moment, Bucky only gapes at her, not sure how to react. That’s a lot of information coming at once from his 7-year-old daughter.

“I’m— Well, I’m okay, even if I worry sometimes. And I couldn’t be lonely, having such a sweet little munchkin by my side,” he smiles, bopping her on the nose and getting a smile in return. “But thank you for caring about me, sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back.”

“And I love you to Jupiter!” she answers.

“But not back?” Bucky raises an eyebrow.

“Nah, it’s already so far away, it’s enough.”

The conversation with Alex stays in Bucky’s head for the rest of the day. It’s gnawing at him enough that before he goes to bed, he takes out his phone and calls Natasha.

“How’s my favourite co-parent doing?” she greets.

“Do you have any more co-parents?” Bucky asks instead of answering.

“Nope. That’s what makes you my favourite.” Bucky only sighs so she continues. “Did something happen? You’re usually in the mood for late night conversation when something’s on your mind.”

There’s no point in denying it since Natasha would see right through him. “It’s nothing bad. Apparently Alex thinks I’m lonely.”

“Well, she’s not wrong.”

“What? Tasha, no. I’m not lonely, where did you two get that idea?”

“James, it’s not my fault that you’re an idiot. I know that you have people who love you around. You know that, too. But I know and you also should know — but here’s the ‘idiot’ part — that it might not be enough sometimes. And I’m pretty sure we’ve had a similar conversation like a month ago, so I don’t know why you act all surprised now.”

“Remind me, why did I even call you?”

“Because I am incredible and you value my opinion like no one else’s and also you love me deeply,” Natasha explains dutifully.

Bucky huffs out a laugh as he sits heavily on the side of his bed. His eyes land on the comic from Steve, still laying on Bucky’s bedside table, propped against the lamp. “Sounds fake, but okay.”

“Did our daughter have any more revelations for you?” Natasha asks.

“Well…,” Bucky hesitates for a moment. “She and Steve gossip about me when I’m not around. And apparently I’ve been smiling more lately. But that’s about it.”

Natasha hums but even through the phone Bucky can hear that she’s rather amused.

"What?" Bucky asks.

"I didn't say anything!"

"I can hear you laughing, just say whatever mean thing you're going to say and let's get this over with."

"I'm not gonna say anything mean! I was just wondering when we'd mention Steve in this conversation," she chuckles. "But really. Even your daughter can see that a relationship would be good for you. And that you like Steve a lot. Why not kill two birds with one Steve?"

Bucky sighs. "Because one Steve is also enough to kill this friendship we have."

"Why do you always just automatically assume that things will get fucked? It doesn't have to be the case. I'm serious, you'd better take a grip on yourself and ask him out or I'm back in three days and I'll do this for you. And I'll be as obnoxious and embarrassing for you as I can."

That's actually a pretty horrible threat. She would do that. And it would be both mortifying and horrible to experience for all the involved parties — maybe except Natasha. Bucky laughs, trying to imagine it, but the laugh is short-lived.

"Come on, Nat," Bucky starts after a moment, getting serious. "Steve is great and it's great having him around. But what if I make a move and he's not interested? I don't want to freak him out. Or remember that message I accidentally saw on his computer? He might be seeing someone already or be interested in someone else," Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose. "Plus, I know from experience that no matter how much he might seem to like me, a guy with a kid can turn out to be a bit much for people. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want Alex to get hurt. She adores Steve and I don't know if I can risk it."

"But I'm telling you, nobody's getting hurt anytime soon," Natasha chimes in. "You're overthinking, Yasha. Those are all valid concerns but you know what the counterargument is?" She takes a small break but she's not expecting Bucky to respond. "Steve's a good guy. He likes you. He likes Alex. He came to a primary school dance recital after knowing you for like a week just because you and Alex asked him to. Even if he doesn't want a relationship, it doesn’t mean that your friendship has to end. From all you've told me, he doesn't seem like the kind to trample on your hearts like this. Give yourself some time, but promise me you're gonna think about it, okay? And call me if you work yourself up into an anxious mess again, okay?”

“I will try not to be an anxious mess, but I’ll let you know. And I’ll think about it. Thanks, Tasha.” Bucky says.

“I love you no matter what, you dumbfuck. Bye.”

Bucky barely manages to say it back before she hangs up. He shakes his head with a small smile and retrieves his charger cable from behind the bedside table. As he plugs his phone, he accidentally knocks down the drawing from Steve. He picks it up, staring at the soft lines for who-knows-which time. His thumb gently traces the “Get well soon, Buck! x” scribbled at the bottom.

Looking at it, Bucky imagines the moment when Steve was writing it down. In his mind, he sees both Steve and Alexandra at the kitchen table, both leaning over their respective pieces of paper, focused on whatever they’re drawing. They are smiling, chatting about whatever common interest they’ve currently discovered. It’s a very nice picture. Enough to make Bucky’s heart ache.

Because Natasha is right. This is exactly what Bucky craves and what he’s been ignoring for years. That domesticity, that warm feeling one gets when looking at someone they care about. That happiness. He can almost imagine himself joining the picture he’s created in his head, walking over to that table and dropping a kiss first on Alex’s head and then on Steve’s, before he starts preparing the dinner. It feels right.

Maybe it’s not usual to imagine this calm, family life with someone he’s not even in a relationship with. Most people probably think of tons of other things, things that are not so… settled. Not as serious. Sometimes they never reach this part. But Bucky has figured a while ago that it doesn’t really work for him. He already has a family. And this family means everything and more to him. If he ever was to date, he has to make sure that the person would fit into his and Alexandra’s life. He has to skip ahead to make sure it’s worth going through the dates and the passion and all the work a relationship requires, without it all ending in a heartbreak. But Steve…

Steve fits so well into this picture, it scares Bucky a bit. Because this would be even harder to let go, if things didn't work out.

It's pretty clear, now that he allows himself to think about it, that he has some feelings for Steve. Besides the friendliness and sympathy, that is. They're the romantic kind and they're still fresh and shy but they're here. And Bucky has absolutely no clue how to deal with them. It's not even that surprising, he realises. Because how could he not catch feelings for Steve? For the kindest, most thoughtful and most selfless person in the world? For someone with his heart made of gold, who always knows how to make Bucky laugh? Someone who gets so passionate about the things he loves and just as much about the ones he despises? Who cares deeply, laughs with his whole body and who next to all this softness and kindness, is also a stubborn little asshole? Who — and this is the most important of all — adores Alex and whom she adores just as much?

Bucky's heart was a lost cause from the start.

Steve has a lot of qualities that Bucky would fall for if he looked for a partner. And that he accidentally might have fallen for anyway. And that's all without even mentioning that Steve is so ridiculously attractive that it might've skewed Bucky's view on beauty forever.

The point is — Natasha is right. That this could be a good thing. They could be a good thing. But what they have now is already good and Bucky really values this friendship. He isn't sure if pursuing a hypothetical picture in his head is worth putting it at risk. Because he still can't be sure if Steve's interested. For what Bucky knows, he's kind and caring towards all of his friends. It doesn't mean that Bucky and Alex are special.

He can almost hear Natasha's voice in his head, calling him an idiot and yelling that he won't know until he tries. Which is right, since Natasha always is. It doesn't help him stop the — partially excited but mostly terrified — somersaults his insides make. With a small sigh, he puts the drawing on its place by the lamp, flicks off the lights and burrows himself under the covers. He doesn't have to have everything figured out straight away. Letting himself even consider it is a big enough step for now, he decides as he drifts off to sleep.

The next day is Bucky's last day at work before the Christmas break. He doesn't really have much to do, just finishing some last updates and dealing with whatever paperwork he was putting off earlier. Most of the time, he chats with Scott, who has been wandering aimlessly around the institute for the lack of work and eventually landed in Bucky's tiny office. They've been chatting about their Christmas plans — nothing too elaborate for both of them, just simple time at home with their families — and now they started discussing where they should go to grab some lunch. Just as Bucky almost convinced Scott that they should go to this sushi place down the block instead of the Italian place, there's a knock on the door.

Bucky sends his friend a confused look.

"It wasn't me," Scott raises his hands in defence.

"Come in," Bucky calls after another second passes. It's probably someone having a last-minute computer problem or one of his co-workers wanting to drop by with Christmas wishes.

Except, when the door cracks open, Steve's head pokes in. Its hair is messy, its cheeks reddened from the cold and its lips spread in a smile.

"Hi, Buck. And hi Scott, it's nice to see you again," he says. "I'm not interrupting?"

And because Bucky's brain is still processing the fact that for some reason Steve's come to visit him at work, Scott's the one who says, "Not at all, come in."

Steve hesitates for another second. Bucky's brain finally kicks in and he smiles which is apparently the invitation Steve needed, because he finally fully walks into the office.

"Hi, Steve. I didn't expect you here," Bucky says, his smile growing bigger.

"Well, you should. Because after our talk yesterday, I decided to bring you lunch," Steve says, proudly showing a big paper bag in his hand. "I told you you haven't seen shit, and especially not overdramatic me."

This makes Bucky laugh out loud as he shakes his head in disbelief. How is Steve even real?

Scott is watching them with a slightly confused but endeared smile on his face. Before anyone can say anything, he gets up from the chair, slapping his thighs as he does.

"Okay then, I'll leave you to it," he says, walking towards the door.

"There's plenty to share, if you want to join us," Steve offers, because of course he does. His gold-heartedness wouldn't have it any other way.

But Scott only shakes his head at that. "Nah, I'm in the mood for some sushi today. Thanks, though."

"Asshole," Bucky narrows his eyes at Scott. "I hope you'd choke on it."

His friend only laughs at that, "Enjoy your lunch date! It's been great to see you, Steve. Merry Christmas."

"You too, Scott. Say hi to Hope and Cassie from me."

With one last grin aimed at Bucky — and a very pointed look behind Steve's back — Scott leaves them alone. Bucky tries not to dwell on the fact that Steve didn't even bat an eye when Scott called it a lunch date.

"Why should he choke?" Steve asks with a chuckle.

"I've been trying to talk him into going to that sushi place for almost twenty minutes before you came," Bucky sighs and then notices that Steve is still hovering by the door. "Come on, take your coat off and sit down. I can't believe you've brought me lunch."

Steve shrugs off his coat and leaves it on the hanger by the door, next to Bucky's. Today he's wearing a maroon sweater that really suits him and a pair of dark jeans. He pushes his sleeves up before he digs into the bag and Bucky tries not to stare too obviously.

"Someone's got to make sure you eat, since after yesterday I've gotten an idea you're not good at it yourself," Steve says. "Guess it wasn't necessary. Sadly, I don't have sushi but maybe you're in the mood for Thai?"

"Depends on whether you've brought me the dumplings or not," Bucky answers.

Steve laughs in response and takes out one of the boxes and hands it to Bucky. "I did. I also have green curry for you? I hope I remembered correctly that you like it? If not, I'm sorry, we can switch—"

"Steve." Bucky says solemnly, placing his hand on Steve's forearm, to stop him from fumbling with the food. "You not only brought me food but you remembered my favourite after I mentioned it one time. You are an angel. You should hide it better, because you make us mortals look bad."

He's only half joking. Steve does seem like a higher being of some sorts and it's unfair that Bucky's poor heart is supposed to handle it. It doesn't do a great job. Especially not when Steve laughs, his eyes crinkle so much they turn into thin slits.

"And I am the overdramatic one?" Steve asks, unpacking the last things and finally sitting on the chair across from Bucky. He's still smiling but there's a blush colouring his cheeks and creeping down his neck.

Bucky bites the inside of his cheek to contain a grin but the truth is, he's immensely proud of himself for pulling this reaction out of Steve. To stop himself from saying something stupid, he digs into his food.

"By the way, how did you find me here?" Bucky asks, his tongue sticking out a bit in concentration as he fishes for a dumpling with his chopsticks.

"Clara let me know where your office is, she was very helpful."

Bucky furrows his brows. The surprise makes him drop his dumpling back into the container. "Clara, as in Clara Oswald, our receptionist? How do you know her?"

"I don't. We've chatted for a few minutes and I explained why I'm here and she told me how to get to you."

"Ah, of course it took you about five minutes to charm her and get into a government building just like that," Bucky chuckles.

"I didn't charm anyone! I just politely asked and she helped!"

If it wasn't Steve, Bucky would take it as fake modesty. But the truth is that Steve really seems to be completely oblivious to the effect he has on people. It’s endearing to see him do this.

"So here's when you do your cool space stuff?" Steve asks, changing the subject.

"Here's when the real scientists come searching for help when there's some IT-related issue," Bucky corrects him. "I don't do anything cool. I make sure all the data is where it's supposed to be and that whatever equipment they need is ready and working properly. Or part of it, Scott's an engineer and he takes care of the rest. I do get to read some space facts first hand, though."

"That's still cool space stuff for me," Steve shrugs with a small smile. "What kinds of things are you researching here? Like some particular aspects of outer space, or—?"

Normally Bucky would just give the shortest answer possible. People usually get bored quickly when he starts talking about it. But something in the genuine interest on Steve's face, the way he is looking around the office — which is nothing special, the only nice things are the sky maps and some spaced themed art — makes Bucky think that maybe Steve wouldn't mind getting the longer answer.

"Well, we mostly study the weather. Both the Earth's and the one in the solar system, like the solar winds and magnetic storms, stuff like that. We study exoplanets and try to discover or guess as much as we can about them," Bucky says. "I helped to create simulations that predicted how they could look like and develop, to see if there's a possibility to inhabit them. We did it by basically dumping all the data we have into an elaborate computer programme and waiting to see what comes out." Bucky laughs and Steve does too, but he has the look of utter fascination on his face as he listens. "And all this helps with some more down-to-earth stuff — pun not intended. Like, we've done tons of studies in climate change."

"That's—," Steve starts when he makes sure that Bucky's done. "All of this sounds incredible. And you're a part of all those amazing things, how great is that?"

Bucky feels that his cheeks start to burn. There's another reason he usually sticks with the short answer. As much as he's proud to be working here and as much as he loves it, the impostor in him always makes sure that he understands the difference between his work and the actual research, analysis and all the heavy lifting that the astronomers do. He helps, of course he does. He does a great job at it, but there's still a difference. And such praise usually makes him squirm uncomfortably.

"And don't even try to get all modest with me again," Steve warns as if he's been reading Bucky's mind. "You've said that you don't do cool space stuff and then admitted that you've helped to create a program to imagine how exoplanets can look and change. So I know you're full of bullshit."

Steve raises an eyebrow in what's supposed to be an unimpressed look but it's not even close. The smile and the curious, bright eyes that are stating right at Bucky are destroying the effect. The blush on Bucky's cheeks only deepens, especially as Steve adds. "I've been impressed before but— Wow. Really, you guys are doing such incredible things here, I can’t wrap my head around it."

"We really do," Bucky agrees, eventually.

The beaming smile Steve sends him feels like a reward Bucky didn't know he deserves.

"So you've always liked space? Or was it an accident that brought you here?" Steve asks.

"No, I've always loved it. It's just so fascinating and there's always so much more to learn about it," Bucky doesn't even try to hide his excitement. "I've never fully understood all the science behind it but I loved staring at the sky, trying to find all those constellations and planets and galaxies. I've figured a way to somehow connect it to what I was good at and make it my job. Which is amazing. But now I mostly stare at the computer screen instead of the stars. "

He doesn't want to sound ungrateful but he must admit that it does kill some of the fun. But not even the astronomers simply state up at the sky to admire the view.

Steve only nods in response. "Alex mentioned that you guys went on a trip out of town to watch the stars. It must've been great."

"We did! It was like… almost 2 years ago, I think? I borrowed one of those fancy telescopes they have here. I needed to pick Alex up every time, cause she was too small to reach it," Bucky laughs as he brings out the memories. "It was fun, we should do that again, sometime. But I don't have much time now, so it’ll have to wait."

"It does sound great," Steve smiles that soft smile again. "I hope you'd find some time as it gets warm enough for such trips. I bet Alex would be delighted."

"Yeah. I'll let you know if that happens, in case you'd like to join," Bucky says before he can think better of it.

There's more of the childlike excitement on Steve's face as Bucky mentions it so maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea.

An actual bad idea comes out of Bucky's mouth a bit later, just as Steve is getting ready to head out. Bucky's lunch break is long gone and forgotten, because it's been two hours that Steve spent here. He apologises for staying so long and the assurances that Bucky didn't have any more work to do doesn't help.

"I'm sorry for taking your mind away from your responsibilities, but it was great spending time with you," Steve says.

So of course, because Bucky's heart doesn't get any chance to regroup, he doesn't have time to think before he blurts out. "We should have dinner together."

It's certainly not something Steve was expecting to hear. He just stares at Bucky. Before he has a chance to say anything, Bucky continues, "I mean. You should come for dinner. Clint and Nat are always around for a dinner, sometime between Christmas and New Year's. If you don't have any plans, it would be great if you came. But it's okay if you can't or don't want to."

Another moment passes and Bucky tries not to squirm under Steve's gaze. Luckily, Steve finally blinks and smiles as he says, "No, Buck, of course I'd love to come! I don't have any particular plans, will probably hang out with Sam for most of the break but I'll have plenty of time."

"You could take Sam with you," Bucky adds. He desperately tries to regain the control of his own mouth. "It'd be great to finally meet him."

"I'll let him know, I bet he’d be happy to come, too. Thanks again for the invite," Steve smiles as he cracks open the door. With a little wave, he walks out of the office. "Bye, Buck. Have a nice day."

"You too, Steve," Bucky says to the already closing door.

When Steve's gone, Bucky exhales heavily through his mouth as he leans back in his chair. Both of his hands go up to thread through his hair, tugging at it lightly.

Apparently, he has a dinner to prepare.

taglist: @steverrogers @till-the-end-of-the-line-punk @buckyshappyending

#where i'm meant to be #stucky #stevebucky #stucky fic #stevebucky fic #stevebucky fanfiction #stucky fanfitction #chapter 7 #my wrtiting #wimtb #sorry it took me so long!#i really hope you'll like it :')

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lovemalecforever · 3 years ago

Text

Chapter 11

A Reunion to Cherish

Alec woke up to the sound of the television playing in the stillness of their home. He blinked a few times to adjust to the brightness. When he was back in his senses he realized that they fell asleep on the couch while watching the movie and his warlock was sound asleep making his chest as a pillow. A blanket was covering both of their torsos. He looked around and realized it was around midnight.

Reaching for the remote, he switched off the television then tried to move his warlock without disturbing his sleep but failed in doing so. He sighed then reached for his stele and activated his strength and flexibility runes, then carefully wrapped his warlock in his arms, picked him up, and went to their bedroom.

He placed him on the bed, then got on the bed and wrapped his arms around Magnus' waist tightly, cuddling as close as possible, feeling the warmth of their bodies which he knew will miss the next few days. With that in mind, he dozed off within minutes.

______________________________

Alec woke up with the feeling of the most gentle feathery touch around his temples, he bit the inside of his cheeks to suppress his smile knowing really well what his warlock's doing. Even though he knows it's wrong to let Magnus think he's sleeping whenever he plays with his hair, he always loves it whenever his warlock does that. But this time he wants to be a tease.

"Love doing that with my hair?" He said in a husky and sleepy voice, eyes still closed.

Alec slowly opened his eyes slowly only to find a deep red blush creeping on that beautiful makeup-ridden face. He smiled helplessly, that was the most beautiful sight he had ever woken up to.

Magnus quickly buried his face in the pillow, too embarrassed to say anything when he felt a tender touch and a gentle kiss around his neck.

"Morning, love," Alec said in a rough morning voice. When Magnus didn't respond, he tried again. "Don't feel embarrassed, Magnus. It's okay. And honestly, I liked it."

"How do you know?" Magnus asked, face still buried in the pillow.

"Know what?"

"That I'm feeling... embarrassed." He whispered.

A light smile crept on Alec's face as he stroked his soft black hair and whispered in his husband's ears, "It's written all over your face, Mags." Then kissed him on the nape of his neck.

Magnus raised his head from the pillow then looked at his husband who had pure love and reassurance filled in his eyes. "Not fair, Alexander." He pouted.

"Hello, there!" Alec smiled and locked their lips in a soft, gentle yet passionate kiss. They broke their kiss after some time and Alec wrapped his arms around his warlock tightly. Magnus was happy to oblige but confused as well.

"Don't you have to be at the institute?"

"Not today, as I have to leave for New York. Cat and Madzie will be here at 11 o'clock, we'll leave from here only."

"Oh!"

Alec looked at the clock only to find that it's just 8 in the morning. He looked at his husband whose face was now filled with longing and hurt. He sighed knowing that look really well. Scooting closer, he left a feather-light over his temple.

"Hey... I know what you're thinking. I can't force the thoughts out of your mind, but I can reassure you that I'm going to be completely fine. Please, don't worry about it, about me. I love you and you know that. I'm going to miss you." He said and gently pecked his lips.

Magnus gave him a light smile. He knew Alec had promised him that he wouldn't go on any hunts, but the feeling of losing him while he was away was building up strongly in his chest. He didn't know what this feeling was, couldn't put his hands on it, but it seemed like something bad is about to happen. But he didn't want to ruin the moment they were in.

"I know, I'll miss you too. Now, you go get freshen up while I start preparing breakfast." He was about to get up when Alec grabbed him and made him lay down on the bed again, snuggling close to him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Umm... Alexander, breakfast..."

"That can wait! We still have time, Mags. I want to spend time with you, cuddle with you as much as I can before leaving. So you're not getting out of this bed anytime soon. Now, come here!" Alec ordered and who was Magnus to say no to his shadowhunter. He simply nodded, snuggled closer, and buried his head in his husband's chest.

________________________________

It was around 10:30 in the morning, the husbands were in their kitchen preparing breakfast and Alec was all ready to leave for New York. Magnus prepared a pancake with caramel and chocolate syrup and hot chocolate with marshmallows dipped in it for his shadowhunter; one of Alec's favorite, and a simple pancake with chocolate syrup and hot coffee for himself. They were eating their breakfast when their doorbell rang. Magnus waved his hand to open the door.

Before either of them could greet their guests, a soft voice echoed their whole house.

"Maaagnus!! Aaallec!" Madzie ran towards their living room calling their names loudly again and again while Catarina was walking behind her smiling at the little ones' excitement.

Alec and Magnus walked out of their kitchen to greet the little package of excitement.

"Hey, sweet pea!" Magnus bent down to hug his favorite warlock then picked her in his arms.

"Maaagnus! I've missed you!" She said enthusiastically.

"I've missed you too, sweet pea!" He said and rubbed their nose softly, making her giggle.

Alec was standing there listening to their interaction with a wide smile as his husband had a look of genuine happiness after a long time.

"Aalleec!" She said while outstretching her hands towards Alec.

"Hey, my favorite sorceress!" He walked towards them and pecked her on the cheeks, making her giggle again.

"Aalec, you stay too please, we will all party and enjoy." She said in a sweet and pleading voice.

Alec looked over at Magnus and Catarina, then spoke softly. "I wish I could, sweet pea. Your Mom and I have some important work to complete and we'll party once I'm back. Okay?"

"Okay." She said in a sad voice.

"Hey sweet pea, don't get upset. We both will enjoy and party," Magnus said while swaying her in his arms, then whispered to her, "and your Mom won't be here to make complaints, neither Alec, we'll enjoy and party every day."

"I heard that Bane!" Catarina said sharply.

Magnus looked at her then to his husband who raised his eyebrows at him, clearly showing that he heard that too.

"I better not find this home covered with glitter when I'll be back, or I swear I'm gonna make you clean that without using your magic!" Alec said in an authoritative voice.

"Why are you both taking my class!? I don't break rules or make a mess!" Magnus protested.

Alec and Catarina exchanged a look then looked at Magnus making him gulp with nervousness, while someone was enjoying this a lot.

"Hey! Stop laughing sweet pea." Magnus put her down on the floor. "We've prepared your room, go and have a look at it, you know where your room is!" Madzie ran towards her temporary room leaving the three adults in the living room.

"Come on now, don't give me that looks both of you!"

Alec and Catarina sighed in unison.

"You better not spoil Mads behind my back, Bane!" Catarina said and hugged Magnus finally.

"Trust me, I won't! By the way, what's that?" He said, pointing towards a huge bag Catarina was carrying.

"Oh, That. Clave requested some ancient books. I don't know the reason though." She looked at Alec to take over.

Alec was confused at first but quickly understood that it was the book they will be needing for the ritual.

"Even I don't know, Jia's the only one who has information regarding this. She said she'll give the information at the time of the meeting itself." Alec said praying to the angels that Magnus will buy it and Thankfully, he did.

"Oh! All right. How long are you both gone, though?"

"2-3 days max," Alec answered.

"Alec, we should leave now. It's time." Catarina said knowing that the sooner they'll get this done, the better.

Alec nodded in response, then Catarina opened the portal for them. Alec gave Magnus a quick goodbye kiss, before stepping through the portal.

__________________________

The portal opened in front of the institute's gate, and they stepped out of it. Alec took in the scent of a familiar environment he was inhaling after a long time. It was only Izzy and Simon who knew about his visit to New York, for everyone else it's going to be a little surprise.

"I'll go to my apartment here and check more about it," she raised the book she was holding "and you go meet your family. Call me when this needs to be done while I finish my other business in the meantime."

Alec took a deep breath and nodded. "Thank you for your help, Cat. It means a lot."

Catarina gave him a warm smile and left. Now it's all on Alec. He took a few deep breaths then knocked on the door of the institute. He expected Izzy to open the door as she knew about his arrival but when the gate opened, the reaction of the other person was priceless and worth witnessing.

"ALEC! Wha... how... oh god!" Jace stuttered which was unlikely of him and hugged his Parabatai tightly, having a warm glow of happiness in his mismatched eyes.

"J... Jace! I can't breathe!" Alec tried to speak while trying to loosen the grip his Parabatai held him in. "J... Jace!"

"Sorry! Sorry! It's been a long time, bro!"

"I'm aware, now can I come in, or I'm not allowed anymore!?" He teased, earning a smack on the head from his Parabatai.

He glared at him then they walked into the Institute. As soon as they entered he heard a loud scream and shook his head.

"JACE HERONDALE! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU DISAPPEARED!?"

He exchanged a look with Jace as he entered the orbs' hall noticing the change in the place that happened over the years.

"Can you not shout at me and ruin my day, Izzy!" Jace said, slightly annoyed with his sister.

"Care to expla- ALEC!" She squealed and ran towards her brother, hugging him tightly.

"Did you forget that I'm coming, Miss Head of the Institute?"

"Well..."

Alec looked down at his sister, noticing mischief in her eyes, and he smacked her lightly on the back of her head. "Someone's that busy!?"

"Ow! Hey!"

He looked down at her while having a bright grin then kissed her on top of the head.

Jace was looking at them, mouth agape with a priceless expression on his face yet again.

"Izzy! You knew he was coming?"

The siblings broke their hug and looked at Jace.

"Yeah, I knew."

"Where are the others?" Alec interrupted, not wanting them to argue over something this small.

"Si is at his apartment, Clary is in the training room, Mom and Luke will be here in an hour, Max by evening, but Dad won't be able to come. I tried but he was busy. Catarina?"

He sighed. "At her apartment, running errands while I talk to you all. I hope dad can make it too."

Izzy gave him a reassuring smile while Jace listened to their conversation, a deep frown forming on his forehead.

"Okay, what is going on? Alec, why didn't your husband tagged along with you this time and why is everyone coming here!?"

Alec looked at his Parabatai then to his sister then to him again and sighed heavily before speaking. "Because there is something I want to talk about which needs all of your presence!"

#asaab #angst with a happy ending #angst #fanfic authors #alec lightwood #fantasy #fanfiction #fanfic #lightwood bane family #malec forever #malec fic #happily married #malec #magnus bane

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peterthepark · 5 years ago

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Steve Harrington x Henderson!reader where they are exes and end up captured by the russians With maybe this in there "I didn't think i missed you until I saw your picture and now a day hasnt gone by where i dont think of you."

OKAY WOW i love this concept it’s perfect thank you.

Time After Time

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Who would’ve thought that summer consisted of being trapped in a Russian base with your ex? That idea was at the bottom of your bucket list - hell, it wasn’t even in the list, yet it happened. All thanks to your brother Dustin, you were now trapped and probably going to die in an underground bunker owned by the Russians.

“Steve?! Steve, hey, wake up!” You yelled, pulling against the restraints. You craned your neck to look back at him, still knocked out. You blew air at the stray strand of hair in your face, close to tears as you awaited a response from Steve. “Harrington, you weak ass bitch. I can’t believe this is how we’re going to die. I can’t believe it. I’m really going to die this way. Wow. I’m tied up to my ex - and not in the good way. My remains are going to get sent to Russia and then they’re probably going to clone me and - oh, God! They’re going to clone us and the world is gonna-“

“Shut the hell up, Y/N...” Steve groans, sluggishly raising his head to bump it against yours.

“Steve! Thank God. Oh, I thought you were dead. Holy shit.”

“I feel like shit. My eye is killing me. I can’t even see out of this thing.” You glance over to Steve, wincing as you catch a glimpse at his swollen and bruised face. He chuckles nervously, “Do I still look pretty?”

“Yeah,” You laugh along. “Pretty messed up.” Steve elbows you, closing his eyes. “Hey, I heard they’re calling you a doctor. They’ll - they’ll fix you up, hopefully. Maybe give you a little haircut. But in the meantime, let’s actually try to - to get out of here, yeah?” Steve nods, letting out another groggy groan. “Okay, so, that table to your right? No, your other right. And those scissors, do you see them? I think... if we move over together at the same time, we can get them.”

“Okay, yeah. Yeah, that could work.”

“I can kick the table and knock the scissors into your lap.”

“And then I can cut the binds.”

“Yes! Yeah, perfect! Alright, ready? We’re going to hop on three.”

“On three. Okay.”

“One, two three!” The both of you move over successfully, exchanging victorious shouts. “Yes! Yes, again! Holy shit, this is gonna work!”

It doesn’t work. That’s how you end up laying on the cold tile. You whimper, screwing your eyes shut at the pounding in your head. You sigh, letting out a shaky breath.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll find another way.” Steve assures you, rubbing his thumb against yours. You simply hum in reply, enjoying the coldness of the tile against your face. The silence is nice at first, but quickly, it saddens you as you remember that you’re still tied up to Steve and his hand is nearly intertwined with yours.

“Harrington?”

“Mm, Y/N?”

“I’m sorry.” You scoff. “For... for everything.” Steve knows what you mean. He can recall exactly what you mean: the sourness that developed between the two of you when you were dating, the shameless hook-ups after the breakup, and the longing to be together but none of you doing anything about it. ‘It was never right timing.’ That was the excuse. Too young, too dumb, it was all bad timing.

“Don’t be sorry. It was - it was fun while it lasted, you know? It was... it was everything.” He shrugs knowingly.

He can hear the distaste in your voice, “It was bad timing.”

“Fuck, Y/N. I really wish it wasn’t that.” You shift, brushing your head against his.

“I know. But it’s the only reason I can accept. We were so good together. We both know that, Steve. Easily.”

“We didn’t work it out enough. Y/N, we didn’t even try to do it over! God, I wanna go back. I’d do anything to go back.”

“Do you still...”

“Yeah, I do. I always have.” You nod as Steve continues. “There’s this picture of you in my wallet. I think it was from Dustin’s birthday. Yeah, that was it. It’s my favorite picture of you.” He gulps audibly. “I never took it out, even after we split. You’re just so beautiful and you looked so happy... I wanted to hold onto that moment forever. For as long as I could until I could get over you.”

“Are you over me?” You whisper breathily, scared but anxious of his reply. “Harrington?”

“I didn’t think I missed you until I saw that picture again. And now - and now a day hasn’t gone by where I don’t think of you.” You’re crying now. And Steve is too, by the way his shoulders shake and his voice cracks.

“Steve...”

“No, let me talk. I wanna make you swoon all over again.” He laughs brokenly, “I miss you, Y/N. And yeah, our wounds are fresh. They haven’t healed and I always thought it was bullshit when people get back with their ex.”

“I’m guessing it isn’t bullshit anymore.”

“Yeah.” He draws the word out, cheeks red as he blushes. “There’s been nights where I look at the telephone and I - and I punch in your number. But I put down the phone right away as soon as I hear it ring. I just... you never called me again.”

“I wanted to call you everyday, you idiot. For so many days, I wondered what you’d been up to. So when you and Dustin became really good friends... I was - I was kinda glad that you were somewhat still in my life. I’d get to see you when I would drop Dustin off to your house, and when I’d pick him up.” You sniffle, tears blurring your vision. “I never said hello because I knew if I spoke to you again, I wouldn’t be able to stop talking.”

“You never knew when to shut up. Still do.”

You huff in amusement. “I don’t. It runs in the family.”

“Y/N, I love you.”

“No, Steve. Please-“

“I love you. I need you to shut up now because I’m gonna start crying again.” Steve remains silent for a moment, regaining composure as he finds your hand again. “If we - when we get out of this, I’m gonna take you out. No, I’m gonna ask you out first. I don’t know who Y/N is. And you don’t know who Steve is. But you’ll say yes, because Steve is charming and handsome and you like that.” You laugh at him. “And then I’m gonna dress up all fancy - bow tie and Farrah Fawcet in my hair. You’ll wear that white dress, the one with the ruffles. I’ll pick you up and take you to Enzo’s, even though I can’t afford any appetizers.”

“We can split the check.”

“Yeah, certainly. And then when we’re done, I’ll drive you to this nice hill I found. I’ll bring out a blanket where we can lay down and - and look up at the stars. Cheesy. I know.”

“Okay, my turn.” You grin. “And then I’ll... I’ll tell you how much fun I had, before-“

“Before I kiss you.”

“Steve!”

“This is my story! Anyways, I’m gonna kiss you. And we’ll go back to your place and we can cuddle. We just have to get past Dustin.”

“You’re an idiot, Steve.”

“But you’ll go out with me?”

“Ask me when we get out of here.”

Steve cranes his neck at you, his hair tickling your cheek. “Can’t I just do it here-“

“Steve Harrington!”

“I’m taking that as a yes, sweetheart.”

The grins on your faces are wide as ever. You knew that you would have to thank Dustin for all this when you got out.

Maybe being trapped in an underground Russian base with your ex-boyfriend wasn’t so bad.

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hanawrites404 · 4 years ago

Text

Pumpkins, Scares and Laughs - Prologue

Ah yes, the event I had been anticipating for a long period of time, finally arrived in Vesuvia.

It is such a pleasure to see the fruits of our hardworking farmers finally blossoming and spreading their lively colours all over our beloved city. Also, the autumnal colours of red, orange and yellow adorning Vesuvia like an pulchritudinous abstract painting for the citizens and also for the ones visiting from the other corners of the world.

Today, all the people of Vesuvia will come out of their houses to praise the conscientious farmers and their unique art of agriculture, to engulf the arrival of the beautiful autumn season, and to also acknowledge the spirit of halloween, one of my favourite festivals where you can be evil and scare everyone mercilessly with your smooky get-ups. Now that's something I really like.

"Winnie!! Look!! We are finally here!" The soft bluenette lady shook my shoulder. I took her gesture and closed the book I was reading and looked outside. Vesuvia was looking so pretty with the warm colours of the season that it almost felt unreal. It also took my breath away for a second.

This blue lady was actually a guest from the other side of the world as my roommate on the ship. She had long turquoise blue hair and soft big purple eyes, her skin was fair and her lips always turned upwards into a bonny smile. And just like her smile, her nature was goofy and giggly. She loved to make jokes and was not afraid to boop others' noses as she had done it million times to me.

I didn't really mind that. I found it pretty cute and attracting actually, maybe because she was just like Dad. Or maybe because I secretly enjoyed having such cheery people around me, reminding me always that there is always a bright side to look for and laugh at. And I was really grateful for such persons.

"It's beautiful~!!" I spoke with amazement as I peered out the window from my bed.

"I know right?? It's amazing! I can't wait to meet Lucio and others! I bet he would be looking soooooo handsome today" The girl sighed dreamily as she cupped her rosy cheek and closing her eyes.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. When I first time met her, I didn't know that she was acquainted with Lucio and my other friends. But when I told her that I too was his close one, she was so overjoyed that she almost crushed me to death afterwards with the hug of hers. I then got to know that she was really attracted to Lucio and had the tendency of blabbering about him all day long. Even when it was bedtime and everyone in the ship was sound asleep, she kept me awake with her fond thoughts of Lucio yesterday.

Again I didn't mind that. Even I too liked him. He had been through a lot of neglect that I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Instead of being jealous as to why others loved him romantically, I was actually happy for him because he was finally getting the love he truly deserved. Even if people didn't think like that (for example, Asshole-ra), I gave no fucks, as rightly so.

"Say, Winnie. Aren't you excited to see Lucio too??" Elteami asked me as she tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

"Me? Well, yes of course. It has been quite a while since I have seen of him last time. Asra always wrote in his letters that Lucio missed me a lot" I replied to her, twirling one of the strands of my hair around my finger.

"Oh, obviously he would. You are his best friend! I mean, he was the one who gave 'Winnie' as your nickname, right?" She asked more.

"He sure did. And it's the only nickname I can tolerate, apparently" I stated. And honestly speaking, I still remember the time when he first time called me that, when I returned to Vesuvia after 15 years, that is.

When I resurrected him back after my fight with Asra at the Lazaret, Lucio was the one who calmed me down from the anxiety of the messy situation Asra had created upon himself. With his loving words and affectionate touches, I had forgotten about the angst with Asra in a jiffy! He somehow possesses that magic in him which melts me, not to mention the journey with him was equally magical and romantic.

But I really don't want to dwell in the past as of now, even if it's the sweeter ones. Today is the day of celebration of success and gratefulness, and I shall focus on that only. So no more previous flashbacks, no more deep thinking. Just pumpkins, scares and laughs.

"Come on Winnie, stop daydreaming again. The ship finally stopped. Let's go!!" Elteami took me by my hand and dragged me out with my bag and book.

"E-Elteami! Slow down! I might stumble" I stuttered upon my words as she continued to pull me down the ship. The cool wind blew through my hair and the short skirt and sleeves of my black dress, goosebumps forming on my legs under the dark stockings.

After we were off the ship and standing on the docks, Elteami let go of my hand as she panted from the runs, supporting her body with her hands on her knees while I patiently waited for her to regain her breath. And once she was done, she turned into herself again.

"Phew! That was one good exercise!" Elteami stretched her arms and her body, the wind blowing her long turquoise blue hair slowly. I gave her a small smile before I brushed the strands of my hair behind ear.

"Gosh, just look at Vesuvia. So much yellow and orange everywhere!" She exclaimed as she observed the golden yellow crisp leaves and the bright houses. All of the people seemed very happy today and they had new clothes on which complimented with the colours of the Autumn.

"Hmmmm....the wind is really cool and nice too. It's tingling me. I can already feel that today is going to be one nice day" Elteami shivered and rubbed her limbs to warm them up, an enjoying smile on her face. I nodded and closed my eyes too as I felt the wind kissing me, greeting me once again a welcome back.

The air was really smelling quite fresh today. Not that I was implying that it's usually disgusting but, this time it had that specific aroma with it that I couldn't really figure, but for sure added the enthusiasm of celebrating the first-ever harvest festival of Vesuvia in me, and I was pretty eager to meet my friends and greet them with pleasant wishes and the gifts I brought for each of them from my village.

Yes, I was not during the preparations of the festival because I had some business at my village which was crucial for me to attend. However, Asra as usual kept me updated with all the events going on through his lovely letters and cutesy charms. I do really owe him a kiss according to one of his infamous horny letters. I have no problem with it of course, I just hope Dad doesn't mind.

........Oh.......and talking about Dad...................

"Oh my god, Wynne! Look at that big guy with blue hair! He is sooooooo hot!! I bet he has had many girls liking him!" Elteami tugged on my sleeve and pointed out to the man she was referring to. The man was yawning and scratching his head. He must had been woken up right now it seemed, because of how his eyes were still droopy and how his hair was a bit messy.

Nevertheless, my face scrunched up from disgust and cringe as soon as I laid my eyes on him. It was not that he was ugly. He was really attractive, to be frank but, did she even know whom she was talking about? Or how old he was from her even though he looked like he was in his late 20s?? Or that he has an adult daughter who was standing right in beside her??

"What's wrong Wynne? Don't you like him??" Elteami asked me curiously, being totally unaware of the fact that the man was someone I knew........too much about, to be honest.

"E-Err, I-I......Well......" I started, already stammering due to the already big tension forming between us that I could feel it down my throat.

"Yes??" She replied and tilted her head, letting go of my sleeve. She looked at me inquisitively.

"I-I don't think you know this but....... Remember how I told you that my father was aboard with us too??" My neck heated up and I averted my eyes down.

"Now that you have mentioned it, I think you did tell me about it" Elteami rubbed her chin and pondered.

I sighed and poured myself some lemonade I brought in the portable cup I had in my bag and drank from it during the meantime as I wanted for her to respond. And much to my satisfaction, she perked up soon and slammed her fist down on her palm.

"Oh yes! Your father! I remember now! You did mention him to me. So what about him? Where is he now?" She asked me.

Now this was the part that got me twisted. But I had no choice other than to tell her. I cannot let this thing get misunderstood, you know.

"T-That blue guy........he is my father......"

"WHAT?!!" Elteami looked at me with utter shock, her eyes widening and staring right at me. I got back from her a bit as I held the cup in my hands tightly.

"You mean that huge smouldering man is your father???" She bumped her forehead against mine and stared right into my eyes.

I sipped the lemonade from my cup quite loudly and nodded, locking my eyes with hers nervously.

Elteami backed up, her expression that of speechlessness and dumbfounded. It was as if she had witnessed something quite hysterical that it was enough to make her eyes torn as wide as toenails.

Now what was she going to do? Was she going to puke? Or was she going to pass out? Or what she going to jump into the waters? Or even worse...............

And turns out the last option was correct.

Because oh gods, her reply was enough to almost send me to the afterlife.

"OH MY GOD WYNNE, YOUR FATHER IS SO HOT!!!"

I literally spewed out some and choked onto my lemonade as its souring tangyness proceeded to burn my throat. I coughed violently and punched my ribs to get the feeling out, while Elteami did not care about me getting strangled to death by the fucking lemonade.

Her eyes sparkled stars as she turned to my father and admired him from afar. The way how he ran his fingers through his long blue hair, the way his buff arms were flexing with each movement, or the way his brown eyes shined brightly amongst the pleasant scene near the docks, she seemed to love everything of Dad and I wasn't liking this at all.

I mean, come on. He was my father, and Elteami is my friend. AND HIM AND HER BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS SOMETHING I WOULD NOT TOLERATE AT ALL!!! BECAUSE THIS IS DISASTROUS AND UTTER BIZARRE. THAT WOULD BE FUCKING,

~OH KUMBAYA MY LORD. HAVE MERCY ON ME FOR I HAVE SINNED🍆꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱~

"Oh my gosh, just look at him!! You are so lucky to have such an attractive man as your father, Wynne. I can see where you got your looks from. Just so flipping perfect and GORGEOUS~!!" Elteami literally growled at the last word like a hungry beast as she cupped her face with her hands. Her cheeks were toned pink as blossoms.

When the obnoxious blazing finally calmed down in my oesophagus, I breathed in long, loud and sharp that I almost felt my eyes rolling back and my soul trying to escape from my mouth. But it did help me regain my composure as I straightened my back and wiped my mouth with my pocket handkerchief next.

"Elteami, don't. He is way older than you, and he has peanuts for brains. You wouldn't want to fall for an idiotic old man like him. Trust me" I crossed my arms as I shook my head disapprovingly and completed the lemonade in my hands properly, without letting it kill me and also asserting my dominance on it.

"Oh come on Wynne. It's just a crush! Not love or something. I just find him handsome. Is it wrong to even think so??" She blinked at me innocently, closing towards me again.

I gulped the last sip of lemonade in my throat carefully as I opened my mouth to answer.

"But still, he is my fucking father. And you are my companion. You cannot have a crush on him. That would be absolutely ridiculous!! Him being an old man with no goals and you who is young, pretty and have so much ahead of you. It's not at all lovely. Now you better take my advice and don't waste your precious lifetime over that guy" I explained to her coldly.

"Jeez Wynne. You do take things too seriously" Elteami rolled her eyes at me, mockery evident.

"Excuse me? I am saying this for your betterment. Take it or leave it 💢" I gritted my teeth and sipped my drink, my nails digging onto the container's surface.

"Yeah Yeah, fine. I won't fawn over your daddy too much. Alright, Ms. Possessive?" She mocked me further.

I sighed and finished my lemonade, keeping the cup inside again after cleaning the inside it with a tissue.

"Fair enough by me" I agreed later, not wanting to complicate the situation more. Ugh, I can't believe that I had to contempt my father just to avoid Elteami courting him. Not that I have not done this multiple times before. But let's not talk about it. Today is not the day to discuss about this. I would touch onto this topic later on if people are interested.

"Now there you are, baby girl" the blue-haired finally approached both of us. With a bright grin on his face which seemed to lighten the previous tension present minutes ago in the air, easing Elteami and almost, me too.

Elteami tried not to smile and squeal as she gazed at me from side while I just rolled my eyes and groaned silently. But still, I didn't show my annoyance on my face as I replied.

"Took you long enough, Dad" I peered sharply at him as I placed my dominant hand on my hip.

"Sorry. I was looking around a bit. It has been a while since I visited Vesuvia you know" Dad rubbed his neck.

By looking around, he meant hunting for the ladies of course. Such a fuckboy he is.

"And oh my, may I ask who this lovely lady with you is?" Dad talked about Elteami as he took hold of her hand gently and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb, much to my fear and anxiety.

This time, Elteami couldn't hold herself, as she squealed so shrill and loud that it boomed my eardrums as I winced. But Dad on the other hand, just chuckled and complimented her.

"You are one cute young woman. Tell me, what's your name? Your full name is preferred" His eyes were softly looking at her and he had a pleasant smile.

"Oh my gods! I-I mean, I-It's Elteami. Elteami Tapputi" The bluenette blushed and bit her lip, looking down at her shoes.

"Such an exotic and beautiful name for an equally beautiful woman" Dad kissed her hand delicately and it turned the girl more blushy than before while I tried not to cringe and choke on air this time.

"O-Ohh my. I....Thank you so much mister...."

"Shah Toprak, but call me Shah. I am open to nicknames of course, so call me whatever you like, My Dear" he winked at her flirtfully.

As expected, Dad's playful light seduction had been casted upon Elteami very easily, because the lady turned red and flustered to maximum. She was squeaking and mumbling something about dominance and pegging which I couldn't really understand, but I didn't slam my brain on it too much.

"And I see you are acquainted to my loveliest darling. How wonderful" Dad next looked at me and I rolled my eyes, averting from him.

"Oh yes of course! Your daughter is one nice girl. She is not really as fun as I prefer people to be but, I like her!"

I could feel the delight in her voice that it brightened a tiny smile on my lips. At least something good came out of Elteami.

"I know. She is the best" Dad spoke.

This made me smile even more. Damn these two 🍋🍋.

But anyways, Dad not letting go of her hand, offered her next if she would walk with him to where she and I were heading to next, and as I had already assumed, Elteami gladly agreed with a vigorous nod.

"Perfect! Let's go then. I am really excited to meet the count and everyone else!" Dad laughed and Elteami giggled with him too as they both started to make their way towards. I just followed behind them with my little possessions clinging onto my shoulders as I listened to their conversations and also paid attention to the festive commotion around me silently.

There were men who were setting up the decorum, women baking warm delicacies, children running around collecting shiny leaves and couples, both young and elderly, holding each other close and being in one another's peace along the balmy nature. This put yet another small smile on my face. Gosh, I was really working out my cheek muscles today, wasn't I? I mean, why wouldn't I?

This festival is something which is close to me. Though this was its first time taking place, the happiness and joy radiating from the city and its people is truly heart-warming. It's like the only source of heat when you are stuck in the blizzards of stress and busy times. It's a break from all of the hardwork and sweating to enjoy its sweet corollary. Just looking at the rainbow harvests of your crops and to realise how much we are blessed to have the grace of the world and the sun for providing us such a golden opportunity of witnessing the victory is a feeling which just swells your heart with pride and satisfaction.

And how do I know all of this? Well, being an educated farmer has its perks, you see.

Nevertheless, a crisp cool wind blew which carried the scent of sweet apples and fried dough towards the three of us. As written by Asra, the last few weeks had been a hectic whirlwind of activity, but of course with everyone's help, it was done.

The very first Vesuvian Harvest Festival was officially in full swing!🍋🍋🎃

Now it was officially time to kick back, relax and enjoy the fruits of our labours.

(the doodle and Elteami belongs to @xzxbloodyrosexzx )

#the arcana #the arcana game #fan apprentice #wynne toprak #arcana mc #arcana apprentice #arcana oc #the arcana seasonal tale #the arcana psl #oc x oc #lucio morgasson #asra alnazar

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: Don't listen to what drunk Jesse says Amelia: he needs more shots to get through this but I'm fine Jac: I'm not listening to anything either of you has to say, thanks Amelia: rude Jac: You've got to be joking Amelia: why because I'm not sitting in an empty 🏠 waiting for you like 🥺 Jac: You know full well why Jac: you aren't that drunk Amelia: you're right, I should be drunker Jac: Yeah Jac: that suits Amelia: you breaking my heart every time she breaks yours, doesn't Jac: Don't be dramatic Amelia: 🥀🥀🥀 Jac: just shut up, Amelia Jac: go enjoy your little party with your new best friend Amelia: likewise clearly Amelia: but you can't enjoy it, can you? Jac: You wish Amelia: no Amelia: it's 💔 Jac: You're clearly devastated Amelia: you know I am, you aren't that callous Jac: that's why you're being friends with my brother Amelia: I invited him and he offered to play Amelia: most of the school is here Jac: Feeling the ❤ are you? Amelia: now I am Amelia: you're full of 😍🥰😘 Jac: not for you Amelia: that was the joke Amelia: because you want this to be one Jac: you're the joke, this is just pathetic Amelia: yeah, I am Jac: what is this even achieving Amelia: this conversation? nothing Amelia: I don't know what else I expected though Amelia: you're never sorry or missing me the same, you only have one regret Jac: I haven't got any regrets Jac: sorry to break that to you Amelia: 💋 Sav counts Jac: I don't regret it Amelia: she'd probably still be here if you hadn't Amelia: and you do want her here Jac: doesn't mean I take it back Jac: but actually, I take back anything I've ever done with you, there you go Amelia: okay Amelia: because I deserve that for not dramatically shunning your brother anymore Jac: yes, you do Jac: you've made your choice, so I get to make mine Amelia: no, you've made it for me by making yours Jac: you're the one who decided to cosy up to Jesse Amelia: look over at whoever you're cosying up to right now and tell yourself yet again that this is my fault Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: you're mad because you literally have yourself to blame Jac: I know what I did, you're literally that fucking stupid you don't? Jac: okay Amelia: I'm upset because it's still so fucking easy for you to pretend that I don't exist Jac: Whatever, I'm not going to dignify this conversation with a response Jac: you've made your bed Amelia: you are giving me a response by saying you're not going to Amelia: I've done silence from you, I'm aware what it looks like Jac: if you regret your decision that's 1. your fault and 2. your problem Amelia: yeah Jac: you think you're right because you cry about it Jac: no, just because you know how the sympathy vote works, doesn't mean you deserve it Jac: you fucked me over first Amelia: I don't think I'm right Amelia: I can't remember the last time I thought that Jac: again, what the fuck can I do about that Amelia: I don't know Jac: nothing Jac: your life is a wreck and me saying I love you back or giving you a fucking cuddle is not going to fix that Jac: as if I have the energy or time right now Amelia: of course not, it's only worth your time and energy if you can ruin it Amelia: sorry, tonight I don't need you for that Jac: Good Jac: I don't need you at all Amelia: until you do Jac: so you're a doormat Jac: and a fucking liability to boot now Jac: get a grip, Amelia, for God's sake Amelia: on what? Amelia: I don't have anything to keep hold of Jac: why should I know or care Jac: figure it out Amelia: because you're telling me what to do Amelia: which you wouldn't bother to do if you didn't care, even if it's only about yourself Amelia: I'm not going to tell him, you can stop lashing out Jac: Oh yeah and I'd believe you, why, exactly Jac: when you're not pissed you're an emotional wreck Jac: liability, as I said, so no thanks Amelia: I haven't yet Amelia: but if you won't trust me by now, I have no idea when or why you ever would Jac: Trust, that's a good one Amelia: I know Jac: I can't trust you any more than Savannah could trust me Amelia: that isn't true Jac: that's exactly true Jac: I turned you down, you stopped being my friend Jac: that's your form, that's your record Amelia: no Jac: yes Jac: you'd rather be friends with Jesse Amelia: I'd rather be friends with you Amelia: you won't let me Jac: it's the definition of a bit late now Jac: you punished me for wanting to be friends with Sav Jac: you can't take it back Amelia: I would if I could Jac: platitude helps no one Amelia: I've said sorry Amelia: I keep saying it Jac: It doesn't change anything Amelia: why don't things that have happened since count for anything? Jac: because we're just doing what we have to to survive Amelia: you've told me it matters Jac: anything that could ever happen between us, would always be because nothing can happen between me and her Jac: and that's the truth Amelia: I'm drunk, not stupid Amelia: I know the truth Jac: then you're fucked up Amelia: obviously Jac: how could I ever love you over her Jac: fucking hell Amelia: you can't and you don't Amelia: she's on a fucking pedestal ☁ 👼🏾 Jac: yeah, because she isn't a fucking trainwreck Amelia: because she isn't here and it was never real Amelia: I don't want to be worshipped, I want to be cared about Jac: it was real Amelia: and one sided Jac: no Jac: anyway, that isn't what I'm talking about Jac: I liked her because she had goals, knew what she was going to do with her life, and did things with it in the meantime Jac: even if she didn't reciprocate the rest, that was and remains true Amelia: good for her Amelia: we all have goals Jac: where? Jac: all you wanna do is get trashed and avoid any and all work Jac: you're like my kid fucking sister, there's fuck all attractive about that Amelia: I don't need to have a Phd planned at 15 for it to be considered a future Amelia: and you've never even asked me about it Jac: yeah, okay, in 15 years of friendship it never came up Jac: you try so hard to be 😎 and it just made you fucking boring Jac: in comparison, in general Amelia: in 15 years of friendship you decided I was a screw up Amelia: and boring apparently Jac: blame me for your lack of ambition and passion Jac: it's the role you wanted to play Jac: and yeah, Savannah is better Amelia: you have to have everyone playing a role because you are Amelia: I have ambition and passion, loads of things I want to do Jac: if that makes you feel better about yourself Amelia: it's all ages away, so no, not really Jac: My condolences Jac: the point is, there's nothing you can say to convince me, so just focus on yourself Amelia: the point is, I'll never be her Amelia: I'm not giving you my condolences back Jac: I know that Jac: if you'd deluded yourself any different that's just sad Amelia: I love you, the delusion is that's enough Amelia: and very sad Jac: yeah Jac: it isn't Jac: no one should settle for that Amelia: thanks for stating the painfully obvious Jac: it is you who can't seem to grasp it so Jac: if you need to be told over and over so be it Amelia: scroll back up to where you said that's my problem and my fault Amelia: you're the one who needs to keep telling me, repeating yourself and repeating yourself Jac: because you won't fucking stop Amelia: neither will you Amelia: but okay, maybe you won't come back this time, we'll both pretend to believe that if you like Jac: I don't tell you I love you Jac: or try to be your friend Jac: or anything so fucking gay Amelia: I hope it makes you feel really straight Jac: it's not even that, it's just pathetic Amelia: then I'm pathetic, I don't have a snappy comeback for you Jac: yeah, you are Jac: you fit Amelia: fine Jac: yeah Amelia: bye then Jac: fuck you Amelia: 😂 romantic as that sounds, I'll have to pass Amelia: if only you were here Jac: yeah, you're so amused Amelia: I don't feel anything right now Jac: so happy for you Amelia: 🙂 Jac: is this necessary? Amelia: what? Jac: why are you still here? Amelia: why are you? Jac: I'm home Jac: not having the best party ever Amelia: same Jac: awh Amelia: 👧🏻💔 Jac: you can't even do that right Amelia: oops Jac: I'm not laughing Amelia: I'll do it for you, don't worry Jac: Whatever Jac: this is beyond tedious Amelia: 🥺🥺🥺 Jac: you're pissing me off now Amelia: I pissed you off ages ago Jac: so stop Amelia: stop yourself, you've put yourself in the role of someone who's less of a wreck Amelia: all you have to do is play it for tonight Jac: I'm not dictated to by you Jac: that's the role you've been happy to play Jac: I'll do what I want, as per Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going back over Amelia: do you want me to care where you're going or not? it's a mixed message that I'm either too drunk or not drunk enough to decode Jac: You can tell my brother Jac: more for you two to 😢 and drink over Jac: so welcome Amelia: I don't know where he is, sorry Jac: that tracks for the kind of friend you are Amelia: he's not my Savannah Amelia: we're not joined at the hip Jac: yeah, and that's the only friend you know how to be Jac: what's the point if it's not ❤ yeah Amelia: the point is, I'm not a good friend, you already said it Jac: Ask Is if you want a second opinion Jac: though she lays down as quick as you so you know Amelia: I believe you, that's why I agreed Amelia: I don't want to talk to Is Jac: no wonder Jac: it'd mean more coming from her if she had the balls Amelia: you mean the most, that's why it's coming from you Jac: had another drink, have you? Amelia: 🥂 Jac: yeah, it means so much Amelia: it doesn't mean anything Amelia: I'm just waiting for something to happen Jac: like what Amelia: 💊 to kick in or 🚨 to start Jac: 🙄 Jac: could you stoop any lower Amelia: challenge accepted Jac: and why shouldn't I call 🚨 or your parents Amelia: my parents will be too 😍🥰😘 to answer but if you want to beat the neighbours to the shut down, go for it Jac: I care even less about ruining their good time Amelia: that's why you shouldn't bother calling then Amelia: might seem like you care Jac: I only care about ruining things Jac: so yeah, nice try Amelia: there's fuck all to ruin, it's not fun Jac: your parents 😍🥰😘 Amelia: try if you think you can Jac: you forget I've met them Jac: the phone is never off just in case you need them Amelia: well I phoned them earlier and it was Jac: you never try hard enough Amelia: 😂 right Jac: ta ta 👋 Amelia: 👋 Jac: [obviously whether we call her parents or not is not really relevant 'cos the police would, soz Amelia] Amelia: [you knew it was inevitable gal] Jac: [oh what fun] Amelia: [soz to her parents just trying to have a nice vday] Jac: [you wish hens, kids ruin everything lol] Amelia: [at least you only have one] Jac: [unlucky JJ lmao, and all so close in age, you fucked up] Amelia: [lollll] Jac: [do you want Jesse to be there, get in trouble? 'cos that'd be a reason to carry this convo on tomorrow, like] Amelia: [good idea because he would stay instead of just legging it like jude did] Jac: [you silly soft boy] Amelia: [trying to help everyone but not really helping anyone what a #mood] Jac: [that's so real but rude] Jac: [anyway, I'm gonna roll up on you] Jac: What the fuck? Amelia: You tell me Jac: Okay, I will tell you Jac: stay away from my family Amelia: or you could tell Jesse Amelia: I told him to leave plenty of times Jac: You should have made him Jac: Whatever problem you have with me, you can take it out on me Jac: don't drag him into your bullshit, alright Amelia: I did everything I could Amelia: he's as stubborn as you are Jac: You had to get him involved, didn't you Jac: had to be his mate Amelia: it's not transition year, I have to go to lessons Jac: You didn't have to Jac: don't bullshit Jac: you weren't his friend before Amelia: it's not like we're best friends now Jac: well, if you're going to, be a fucking better one to him Jac: this isn't okay, whatever mess you're in Amelia: I'm well aware Jac: that's not enough Jac: how are you going to make it right? Amelia: what do you want me to say? I don't want him doing any of this Jac: Well, I found a way to make him stop Jac: it's not actually that hard Amelia: he's not taking my no for an answer Jac: You're so selfish Amelia: if you can do better, do it Jac: no, you take some accountability, you useless bitch Amelia: so can he Jac: for what? Jac: being nice to your sorry ass? Amelia: exactly that, yeah Amelia: I didn't ask him to, it was literally the opposite Jac: then you make him stop Jac: because that's the problem with you, you want him to Jac: you want everyone to like you, you're so fucking needy Amelia: I don't give a fuck if nobody likes me Amelia: we're not 15 anymore Jac: that's believable Jac: anyway, then it shouldn't be an issue for you, so do it Amelia: is that everything? Jac: No, bitch, it isn't Amelia: so just say what you came to say Jac: How about you do something Jac: that is what I came here for Jac: you think I trust you to just do it? nah Jac: proof is required Amelia: how about you and your brother leave me alone Jac: How about you have to tell him yourself Jac: because you decided to be his bestie and rub it in my face Jac: so grow the fuck up and sort it out now Amelia: yeah because everything is about you Amelia: he decided to Jac: it is with you Jac: and I don't care how you want to sell it, Amelia Amelia: and I don't care what you decide to buy into Amelia: I don't want friends, I just fuck it all up Amelia: I definitely don't want him as one when he reminds me of you Jac: Good Jac: leave him alone Amelia: I have Amelia: he won't leave me alone because he cares Jac: I've told you, make him not Jac: you don't leave him with a choice Amelia: I don't have the energy to fight him off every time he can't or won't take a hint Jac: I swear to God Amelia: whatever threat it is, I'm not interested in hearing it Amelia: carry it out or don't Jac: it's no threat Jac: I'm done with you Jac: I don't know why we were ever friends Amelia: I knew that last night, there's no need to repeat it again today Amelia: even you don't change your mind that quickly Amelia: and we were never friends, you've repeated that more than enough times as well Jac: I'm serious Jac: why did we last as long as we did Jac: there is nothing even Jac: we have nothing in common Amelia: yeah, me too, I seriously don't care anymore Jac: then do what I've asked and we will have no reason to ever talk again Amelia: we already have no reason to Amelia: the one thing we have in common is neither of us want Jess around, so don't pretend you care Jac: He's my brother Jac: I get that you don't understand what that's like, but certain things override whatever I might be feeling personally Amelia: you're acting like it now to have a go at me Amelia: but my parents get first dibs at that, sorry Jac: yeah because everything is about you Jac: oh boohoo Jac: you're hungover and your soft-touch parents are mad at you Jac: I don't care Amelia: there's no other reason to prolong this conversation if it isn't, we're talked about Jess Amelia: there's nothing else to say about it if he still wants to be friends with me after how I treated him or if he doesn't Jac: because you missed the bit where I asked for proof? Jac: make use of your last remaining brain cell and make it fast Amelia: no, I disregarded it because I don't fucking owe you anything Jac: you owe him Amelia: I told him to leave me alone, the rest is up to him Jac: then show me that Amelia: [the convo receipts from whenever he left and tried to check in] Jac: Thanks Amelia: fuck you Jac: No shit 🙄 Amelia: neither of you listen Amelia: despite barely talking Jac: you can take this up with him when he invariably comes back because you didn't try hard enough Amelia: great Jac: you went there Jac: or do you want me to believe my brother is so gregarious he just threw himself at you Amelia: he does this thing where he goes out of his way to include people, I get that you don't understand what that's like because you shot your only shot with Savannah Jac: No, I get that he felt sorry for you Jac: it was my mistake for not recognising you're seriously not above that Amelia: why would I be above sitting by him in some classes? it's not a marriage proposal Jac: yeah, why would you have any self-respect Jac: why wouldn't you be Is 2.0 Jac: I should never have given you any more credit than her Jac: and I won't make the same mistake again Amelia: you never have, don't worry Amelia: you're still riding high with no regrets or mistakes Jac: you spoilt brat Jac: ask Is if it ever felt the same Jac: you got a taste of it when I met Savannah and you couldn't fucking hack it Amelia: I'm not going to ask Is anything Amelia: and no, I couldn't fucking hack you being in love with her Jac: and you think she could? Amelia: I don't think or care about her Jac: That's nice, isn't it Amelia: so? Jac: so, you expect me to care about you Jac: and you don't care about Is at all Jac: we were all friends Amelia: I literally don't expect anything from you now Amelia: and we were friends when you want to use that to make a point and weren't when you need that to be true Jac: you need to think we were more than that Amelia: I already know we weren't Jac: yeah? Amelia: yeah Jac: then we really are done now Amelia: great Jac: Hardly but it's something Amelia: I'm thrilled you have something to ✔ off your to-do list Jac: You can drop the sarcasm Amelia: I can do whatever I want, yeah Jac: and you know exactly what that is Amelia: maybe, maybe not Jac: it's not my business if you lied about knowing Amelia: it's not your business either way Amelia: maybe I'll change all my plans now Jac: maybe Amelia: the catholic school threat is less of a joke with every passing day Jac: worked for Savannah Amelia: true Jac: how fun for you Amelia: it's my number 1 priority after all, chasing the fun Jac: obviously Amelia: I have to go now Amelia: fire any last shots Jac: I've got nothing Amelia: okay Jac: Alright Jac: bye Amelia: good morning Jac: on what planet Amelia: we've said bye so many times it doesn't feel like a real word Jac: yeah Jac: I know Jac: I mean to mean it every time Amelia: at least you mean it now Jac: yeah Amelia: thanks Jac: least I could do Amelia: the least you could do is stop replying to me, but alright Jac: I don't owe you anything either Jac: that would be a kindness Amelia: would it? Jac: you keep asking for it so Jac: assumedly Amelia: because you keep saying you're done Amelia: it's a kindness for yourself if anything Jac: yeah, that's really my jam Amelia: maybe you're planning to turn over a new 🍃 Amelia: it's none of my business Jac: yeah Jac: I'm thriving, you're so right Amelia: I wouldn't go that far, even as the dramatic one Jac: so let's not bullshit Amelia: oh, it's only okay when you do it, gotcha Jac: I've not Amelia: over 15 years of friendship you have constantly Jac: oh, we're really going to go over every little thing I did or didn't do in 15 years? Amelia: no Amelia: but we're not just pretending you always tell the truth Jac: who does Jac: that would be stupid and irresponsible Amelia: Jude, so that tracks Jac: nah Jac: omission is more of a lie than it is a truth Jac: and she does that all the time Amelia: I wish she'd do it to me Amelia: my headache is 75% her showing up last night Jac: did she tell you she thinks your house looks like a nursing home? Jac: 'cos that is what I was thinking by omission Amelia: I remember her picking up a lot of my mum's shit, but not what she said Jac: I think she needs to be tested Jac: multiple times Amelia: 😂 Jac: seriously, is she slightly deaf Jac: is it behavioural, something wrong with her brain chemistry Jac: the possibilities are endless Amelia: I'll go get tested with her Jac: yeah, befriend another one of them, that's exactly what I set out to achieve Amelia: you achieved what you set out to do Jac: only if you don't turn around and ruin it Amelia: I won't Jac: you're more suited Amelia: what are you talking about? Jac: you and Jude over you and Jesse Amelia: I don't think she likes me, sorry to throw a 🔧 into your virgo-ishness Jac: she thinks you're breaking Jesse's heart Amelia: how? Jac: she thinks he's in love with you Jac: but obviously, you are a massive gay Amelia: oh, him and loads of other lads then Jac: yes, but he is her brother Jac: so maybe she's gonna give you dirty looks from across the hall Amelia: I'll try not to fall in love with her over it Jac: ew Jac: you're vile Amelia: the meaner she is to me, the more likely it is, clearly Jac: that's not funny Amelia: it is a bit Jac: it's not though Jac: she's my little sister Amelia: whatever Jac: don't whatever me Jac: if you go near her, I will actually kill you Jac: it's disgusting, so shut up Amelia: I'm not going to go anywhere near her Jac: don't Amelia: why would I? It's Jude Amelia: she's as close to a little sister as I've got Jac: I don't know why you do anything Jac: to be honest Amelia: yeah you do Jac: it's not the reason I'm doing the degree Amelia: but it's a reason you'll be good at it Jac: you want to take partial credit for my future success now? Amelia: I couldn't if I wanted to Jac: I don't think graduation is like the oscars Amelia: now that I know that I won't need to bother going Jac: 🙄 Jac: you'll be on your 5th gap year or something Amelia: I'm not taking one Jac: right, you've changed your plans Amelia: no, I decided that ages ago Amelia: I'm sticking to it, if anything Jac: it's a massive waste of time Jac: especially when you pretty much have to take that mandatory one as is Amelia: 🥱 Jac: shut up Amelia: 🥱🥱🥱 Jac: 😒 Jac: goodbye then Amelia: okay bye Jac: what did your parents say Amelia: why would I bore you with that when you already think I'm like coma inducing Jac: maybe it'll be funny Amelia: it wasn't Jac: I bet your mum cried Amelia: of course she did Amelia: the state of the 🏠 was enough reason Jac: yeah Jac: well, well done Amelia: thank you Amelia: it's been ages since I've been praised Jac: probably going the wrong way about it from mummy and daddy Amelia: yeah Jac: so fun though, right Jac: worrying everyone to death Amelia: duh Jac: well I did it first Jac: don't think you're special or anything Amelia: you've well and truly killed that possibility, not only do I know I'm not special, I know everyone else agrees Amelia: what other validation could I ever need Jac: you wanted a reaction Jac: you got it Amelia: no, I didn't want to sit in an empty house while you went on a 'date' Amelia: I got that Jac: and the reaction I'm getting to that is still just wonderful Jac: thanks for asking Amelia: you know why I haven't Jac: Darla thinks I should just run with it Amelia: meaning what? Jac: own the whole slut thing Amelia: and what do you think? Jac: I don't know Jac: I don't exactly have a choice Jac: the other viable option is going out with him, like he chose me and not the other girl, but I don't know Amelia: you mean you don't want to Jac: only because he'll probably cheat and I don't want to look that kind of stupid either Amelia: option 3 is going out with her Jac: ha ha Amelia: you're right, she's probably not going to stay faithful either Jac: you're so unfunny Amelia: because I'm not in a 🤡 mood or here to make you laugh Jac: then stop making stupid suggestions Amelia: why? so I can make a real suggestion that you'll like even less Jac: you suggesting something you know I won't do is entirely pointless Amelia: this entire conversation is Jac: maybe you'd be helpful for once Jac: but no Amelia: I'm not going to tell you to date him or to fuck more boys just like him, and that's all you want to hear Jac: you know, not everyone is so sure of themselves like you Jac: and that's alright Amelia: I've never put a label on you and I never will Amelia: that doesn't mean this is alright with me Jac: nothing but me declaring my undying love would be with you Amelia: it's not about what you won't say, it's about what you have Amelia: you're fucking horrible to me Jac: duh Jac: I'm horrible to everyone Amelia: just stop talking to me the way you have to everyone Jac: I'm not talking to you Amelia: you are though Amelia: you literally just said you want my help Jac: so? Jac: I use everyone when I need to Amelia: so go and use someone else Jac: easy Amelia: then go and do it instead of bragging Jac: I'm not beholden to what you want, or your time schedule Jac: you can just go away Amelia: no shit Amelia: if I could go away I would have Jac: Stop whining, honestly Jac: cry to me when they get you sectioned instead of catholic school Amelia: I'll be too thrilled Jac: 🎻 Amelia: *🙌 Jac: you're such a baby Amelia: if only Jac: ugh no Jac: I can't do this conversation again Amelia: then don't Amelia: fuck off Jac: waiting for my ride, tah Amelia: I didn't ask because I don't want to know or care Jac: yeah Jac: people who don't care throw parties in reaction Jac: get a grip Jac: at least I'm not pretending I don't care about Savannah Amelia: I said I don't want to care, the same way I don't want to know Amelia: and of course you're not because how else would you hurt me whenever you feel like it if you did Jac: I couldn't pretend not to if I wanted to Jac: and oddly enough, that's not about you Amelia: no, the 💔 it causes me is just a bonus for you Amelia: nothing is actually about me Jac: Seeing people happy upsets me, it isn't a strictly you thing Jac: in the most positive sense, of course Amelia: I know, we've had that conversation Amelia: because that's all we do, say the same shit over and over Jac: you think I'm gonna change my tune Jac: that why you're sticking around Amelia: I literally can't get away from you unless they do bother to send me somewhere else Jac: Charming Jac: I can't do much more to fucking disappear, Amelia Amelia: me either Amelia: I've basically begged them now and my bags aren't packed so Jac: fuck you Amelia: yeah Jac: go Jac: now Amelia: you heard me, there's nowhere Amelia: unless I crash my 🚗 into a 🌳 Jac: I don't care Jac: please go Amelia: you go Amelia: I make everything else really easy for you Jac: do you fuck Amelia: when isn't it? it's all on your bullshit terms as and when you decide what they are Jac: 'cos that's all you fucking care about Jac: is that bit Amelia: because it fucking matters Jac: what matters is my life is a fucking wreck Jac: and you don't care about that, at all Amelia: that's such a fucking lie Jac: it just ain't Amelia: I can't fix it, that doesn't mean I don't care Jac: except you literally don't Jac: and you just wait for me to hit you up Amelia: if you need proof of that too, just tell me what Jac: the proof is here Jac: you wanna leave too Jac: do it Amelia: I don't want to, I have to Amelia: you haven't given me any choice Jac: then I can't say you're any different Jac: because you won't be Amelia: you've already said I'm no different Amelia: and you ended it Jac: you don't listen Jac: or understand Amelia: because that isn't the reaction you want Amelia: I can't do either of those things when I'm angry or upset Jac: I don't want that Jac: a reaction based on guesswork of what you think I want Jac: a performance Amelia: it's a reaction based on how you've made me feel, nothing else Jac: then why does it feel so fake Amelia: I don't know Amelia: I can't be any realer Amelia: I give you everything Jac: I get why she left Jac: love makes you different Jac: it's sort of repulsive Jac: you wouldn't, the you I know Jac: knew Jac: wouldn't just do that, put up with all this Jac: but you do and I did for her and it's sickening Amelia: my parents are in love and they don't act like this Amelia: neither do yours Jac: so you don't love me Amelia: of course I do but there's clearly something wrong with me too Jac: there's nothing about this to be embraced Jac: to celebrate or want Jac: it's awful Jac: I feel awful, all the time Amelia: I know Amelia: I take drugs now, as of last night, that's not what planned for my future Jac: it's no worse than being known as that girl Jac: see, you can't say she doesn't have the right idea Jac: she doesn't fucking care about any of them Jac: she's living it up and doesn't have to deal with any of this Amelia: I'd rather die than say she has the right idea about anything, on principle Jac: 🙄 Jac: whatever Jac: she's happy, you're not Jac: and I'm not Amelia: all we see is her feed, I could be happy on there if I thought it mattered Jac: Please Jac: do you really think Savannah is becoming an addict or having threesomes Amelia: no because she has different coping mechanisms Jac: it's not coping if you're thriving Amelia: when I had a girlfriend I still thought about you, maybe she is Amelia: you're the one who gave the 'not everyone is as sure as me' speech Jac: except she is definitely straight and that was beyond apparent when I kissed her Jac: or at the very least, she's not thinking about me Amelia: maybe not, because she's hardly thriving, her parents are fucked and she hates catholic school Amelia: *but Jac: that's just what her dad tells your mum, or people who then tell your mum, whatever Jac: you know how high his expectations are Jac: if she's not tap dancing home every day she's suicidal Amelia: I'm just saying, unless you ever actually talk to her you won't know Amelia: if I'd have kissed you when I first thought about it, you'd have lost it too Jac: that won't be happening because I'm blocked Jac: and she's not gonna suddenly have the urge to reach out Amelia: not now Jac: not ever Jac: as sweet as it is to hold out hope for me Jac: I'm not personally gonna kid myself Jac: I was there, I know what happened Amelia: okay Jac: I'll never do it again Amelia: what? hope or 💋 anyone Amelia: because your new boyfriend won't last very long if it's 💋 Jac: hope, yeah Jac: but I meant ❤ Amelia: I'm not waiting for the declaration, that's in your head Jac: you are Jac: because I've said the opposite enough times for you to have heard that loud and clear Amelia: I gave up ages before any of this happened Jac: then what Amelia: this over nothing Jac: that's Amelia: you can't hurt me by calling me pathetic or whatever else, my mum's said as much in kinder words and I've said it to myself in harsher ones Jac: no Jac: I don't know what it is Jac: your mum hates me Amelia: all she wants is for me to be happy and I can't Amelia: she hates that I keep doing worse instead of better Jac: that's stupid Jac: you're a teenager, not a poodle Amelia: if I was a dog they'd have probably given me away by now, so just as well Jac: if she thought it was gonna be all sunshine and rainbows I dread to think how boring her formative years were Amelia: she just doesn't want 🌧💀🥀 again Amelia: I shouldn't have lied that I was better for a bit Jac: everyone finds everyone else's pain and misery boring Jac: I get told all the time Jac: as if that'll make me reconsider Jac: she'll just have to deal, not like you can do anything about it Amelia: yeah Jac: it's easier not to care Amelia: obviously but I can't switch it on and off Amelia: so I care that I ruined their weekend when they never get to go anywhere Jac: obviously Jac: you just have to pretend Jac: it has the same affect Jac: of them stopping to care in return Amelia: you've met my parents, they're unstoppable Jac: oh and mine are just massive cunts then Amelia: shut up, no Jac: you'll be fine Jac: just need to meet someone who isn't a bitch next time Amelia: in my next life or this one? Jac: you'll do it before school is out guaranteed Amelia: this really is over then Jac: I want that for your sake Amelia: you want it for you because I'm boring Jac: don't be stupid Amelia: you literally compared me to Jude so Jac: I'm just trying to get you to hate me like you should Amelia: I don't want you to want me if that's what you think, it'd be too weird Jac: Don't accuse me of incest, for God's sake Amelia: at least that's actually taboo Amelia: you could put your self-loathing somewhere Jac: why are you always so gross Amelia: because that's how I feel inside Amelia: obviously Jac: anyway, it's been done too many times in my family Jac: no one would even care Amelia: true Jac: again, no one needs to tell me how un-unique my problems are Jac: like that solves 'em Amelia: or to get over it/get a grip/grow up/ however else you want to phrase it Jac: exactly Amelia: stop saying it to me then Amelia: it doesn't change anything Jac: what part of 'getting you to hate me' are you not getting though Jac: it won't change the feeling but distance and time should and that's where we're trying to get you Amelia: unless we're having sex, don't worry about how I feel or getting me to feel any type of way Jac: I'm not worried about that Amelia: good Jac: you don't wanna give me a complex? Jac: I suppose that's nice Amelia: if I wanted to lie, I'd choose something that isn't as easy to prove is Jac: not like I need to be good at it anyway Jac: ⛪ Amelia: if your boyfriend had any complaints he wouldn't be picking you up, I guess Jac: It isn't him Amelia: did you go with option 3? Jac: as I can't remember her name, no Jac: I'm going out with Darla Amelia: you're going with her idea Jac: it's literally the best option I have Jac: I don't have to repeat it but her and her friends will back me Amelia: I don't see why you can't just let people say what they're going to say Jac: what's the point in that? Amelia: because they will anyway and it won't matter when you leave Jac: I'm not leaving yet Jac: and no one talks shit about Darla Jac: she's a good ally to have Amelia: okay Jac: don't you think so Amelia: it doesn't matter what I think Jac: well what do you think? Amelia: you know what I think Amelia: I'm not going to keep going on like a broken record Jac: yeah but, of the things you know I'm going to do Jac: it's not that bad Amelia: right Amelia: that's why I said okay and not fuck you Jac: and she's just uncomplicated and nothing to do with this situation Jac: which is what I need right now Amelia: sure, give me a complex, why not? Jac: also totally straight and I don't fancy her Jac: so you can calm down Amelia: 😏 Amelia: I'll go to sleep, my parents left off shouting at me and you started Jac: maybe you'll get to redecorate Amelia: I won't mention it in case it sounds like I'm suggesting I did them a favour Amelia: but I did say they could sell my 🚗 to calm my dad down Jac: 😬 Jac: they'll probably act like they're gonna for a while, make you sweat it, but then they'll not or get you a new one when you pass so you can have your independence Jac: very them move, just pretend you're learning a lesson in the meantime Amelia: 🥱 Jac: 👸🏻 spoilt bitch Jac: none of us will be getting cars, imagine Jac: look like a garage forecourt Amelia: you can borrow mine if I ever get the 🔑 back Jac: yeah Jac: won't hold my breath, like Amelia: me either, my mum's been googling drug slang since she stopped crying Jac: 😂 Jac: you wanna watch out she'll be going 'round to every dealer she can find and asking 'em to stop, as a concerned mother Amelia: maybe she'll send me to rehab Amelia: very 👸🏻 Jac: throw in some conversion therapy for free Jac: least you don't need a sly abortion too Amelia: no way, you can have Darla, my parents are real allies Amelia: there are so many knitted and embroidered 🌈 in this 🏠 Jac: lovely Jac: that's just her aesthetic Amelia: 😂 Jac: I'd sooner die than have my parents come at me with anything rainbow Amelia: it's unlikely Jac: I'll air on the side of impossible, thanks Amelia: what are you doing with her then? Jac: gym Amelia: 🤨 Jac: you're familiar with the concept Amelia: but not why you would want to Jac: rude Amelia: I mean, 1. go for a run outside, that's way more you 2. you don't need to, clearly 3. 😴 Jac: I'm not as sleepy as you Jac: what the fuck did you take, xanax Amelia: I'm not on commission and also I don't know Jac: wow, so smart Amelia: I wasn't trying to make a wise move Jac: clearly Amelia: I've heard it all from my parents Jac: you had a go at me for drinking too much Jac: you've got some nerve Amelia: okay, god Amelia: I get it Jac: it's so typical Jac: did my brother or sister have any Amelia: I don't know Amelia: not with me Jac: don't lie to me Amelia: I'm not Jac: I'll find out if they have Jac: again, typical Amelia: Jess wasn't even that drunk, he spent all his time playing the new stuff he's been working on Amelia: he was excited about it Jac: whopee for him Amelia: and Jude wasn't there long before the party ended Jac: Fine, I believe you don't know Amelia: I don't have any reason to lie to you Jac: you have plenty Jac: but I guess you are that shit of a mate Jac: not gonna cover for him, like Amelia: we can't all be Darla's, I guess Jac: 🙄 Jac: you're so salty like you didn't just throw a fuck you party Amelia: what do you want me to say? I've already admitted that I'm not a good friend to have and I don't want to be his Jac: I'm just saying, why are you surprised Jac: not like I'm claiming I'm an amazing friend here Amelia: I'm literally the opposite of surprised Jac: she's easy to talk to Amelia: okay Amelia: I'm sure she'll pick you up soon Jac: just gonna have to kick Jude out my way Amelia: I'll leave you to that Jac: you're going to sleep more like Jac: night Amelia: I'll try Amelia: but my mum is back to cleaning up again Jac: unlucky Jac: do something productive Amelia: I've already passed my theory Jac: help your mum, you lazy cow Jac: also you still have one of my best tops somewhere Amelia: she was this close to smacking me with a duster earlier because I can't match her standards Amelia: do I, which one? Jac: [a pic of one of 'em wearing it] Jac: you better have Jac: maybe your mum is using it as a duster Amelia: 😂 Amelia: no, I've got it Jac: 👍 Amelia: I'll sneak out when you need it back Jac: I'll survive Amelia: right now, because you're mad at me Amelia: but you'll want it back eventually Jac: when am I not pissed off at you Amelia: there's an obvious answer but my mum will notice my 😳 Jac: can't have that Jac: not that much of an ally Amelia: not to you Jac: 💔 Amelia: at least I'm not lying on top of sneaking around now, you're welcome Jill Jac: I'm not your bad example, fuck off Amelia: she knows the truth again, is what I meant Jac: hmm Jac: alright Amelia: you're especially pissed off today, I get it, you don't need to be so quick on the draw Jac: you are being a special sort of dickhead Jac: that'll be why Amelia: 😕 Jac: don't give me that Jac: you know what you did Jac: and you're on a comedown, so sit with how shit you feel and don't forget it next time you wanna get high Amelia: I'm sorry, you know Amelia: not just feeling it for myself Jac: yeah, your mum cried Jac: I heard Amelia: yeah but I'm specifically giving you an apology for my 'fuck you' party, or I'm trying to, anyway Jac: just don't invite my brother again and it's whatever Amelia: I'm not hosting again, I assumed that was pretty evident Jac: your parents are never leaving the house again Jac: that's definite Amelia: exactly Jac: oh well Amelia: my grades will soar if nothing else Jac: parties are overrated Amelia: but I'll never see you if neither of us go Jac: you didn't invite me to this one did you Amelia: you already had plans so no Jac: he's well rich Jac: his house was nicer than Savannah's Amelia: I'm especially thrilled I didn't invite him, Jude's slagged off my house enough as is Jac: He might've come Jac: thinking he was well in Amelia: 😣 Jac: 😂 Amelia: it's not funny Jac: it is though Amelia: no, it isn't Jac: it's not like you have to sleep with him, Amelia Amelia: the has to bit is what makes this all really unamusing Amelia: because you think you do Jac: no I don't Jac: it helps, sure, but it's hardly involuntary Amelia: how has it helped? Amelia: your life is harder not easier Jac: that isn't because I fuck lads Jac: it's all the rest Amelia: yeah it is, that lad specifically means that you need to strategise with Darla Jac: only because of that other girl Jac: and I only had to go that hard because of her stupid posts in the first place Amelia: she's blocked you though Amelia: and I doubt she ever followed him Jac: she definitely did Jac: are you that gay you haven't heard the rumours about him? Amelia: apparently so because I have no idea what you're talking about Jac: 🐎 Amelia: oh great Jac: 😂 Jac: don't 😳 your mum will see Amelia: there's the complex you didn't give me over your gym buddy, thanks so much Jac: you're really going to go all Freud over this Amelia: no Jac: 🍆 envy is a whole new coming out Amelia: 🙄 Jac: technically, you'd be straight so Jac: something to consider Amelia: I'm not high any more, we don't need to Jac: if you say so Amelia: yeah, he's a 🎣 because 🤑🏠🐎🍆 Amelia: there's no competition or anything else to consider Jac: probably best not to change gender expression based on that alone Amelia: I don't plan to Jac: pleased to hear it Jac: anyway, my ride is here so Amelia: 👋 Jac: 👋

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paramsiddharth · 4 years ago

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#2: COVID-19 Attack

I must say that doing so 2 years later isn't the most pleasant time to resume blogging, but as reasons go, I couldn't post in a long time, though I am back now!

Life is challenging as it is. At the end of every year, it feels like there was a lot that I wish I didn't do. Maybe that's how life is: A series of regrets and lessons. However, great things happened too. So, I will try to summarize the past 2 years in the least words I can.

I finally finished high school. :) Interestingly, at the farewell after-party, nobody expected me to dance. Could you guess who danced the most? I did. The food was Masha-Allah. Ooh my mouth is watering now.

The process of college enrollment in India is severe. I think that more attention is needed towards the education-system; It needs improvement. I had a lot of choices in hand, because I had given entrance examinations for a large number of colleges and universities. My overall performance was decent. I was expecting to easily get into a good college of my choice.

Now, there are a couple of things that didn't let that happen. We have financial issues and don't even fit in as middle-class. Due to lack of prior experience in admitting a student to an engineering college, we were expecting a better option. My JEE Mains scores were superb, but the JEE Advanced results were to come. So we waited, hoping for the best, while the best of colleges I had a chance with got their seats full. In the end, having no choice, I had to go to a college that had few seats left.

Before 2019, I was more into Windows Batch and HTML+CSS than anything else pertaining to coding. That was a starting point for me into the real world of programming and computer development. Why? Because I had given a lot of time to what I was familiar with and finally decided to go for the unfamiliar, the more fundamental and common, part of the computer science. After all, learning has no end!

The decision had a positive effect on me. Despite starting late, I proved to outperform many who have had expertise in the same topics for years. I always knew that I have the habit of putting in all possible efforts to do the best I can. Click to view my new website.

People come and go. I lost friends, made new friends, lost them too, and so on. One great thing that happened after the previous post I made is that I started playing PUBG Mobile with 2 of my friends. The game acted as a catalyst that brought us closer together.

Not for long, though. The 7 months-long trail of happiness ended in a few more months as 2019 came to an end. One of those two has decided to leave me, seemingly to never return.

It's not all sad and gloomy, though. I met new people, made new friends, and found new ways to enjoy life. There is this boy I met... Probably the most beautiful creation of God. He understands me better than anyone else ever does. I found a best friend in him, because he put me on the top of his priority list where most of the friends always put me to the second position for the most. In college, I go for daily evening walks with my new friends. Trust me, that is the best part of each day.

Finally, let me talk a little about the title. COVID-19 attack! COVID-19 is an abbreviation for Coronavirus Disease, 2019. Out of nowhere popped in this unbelievable virus caught the entire world in its trap. In fact, there was an chapter I read not long ago in a comic called Tales of the Unusual with a story about a virus that destroys humanity. Who expected this to happen?

So I had returned from the college for a week of holidays. Such a long week it was! And it has been months now. In India, there are 3 big issues making survival worse due to this pandemic:

The death of a large number of people due to this virus.

Mass-migration of labourers from urban areas in the county back to the rural areas.

Lack of quality in online classes being imposed on students.

Indeed, it is big a problem that people are dying due to the virus. At the time of writing this, around 3,70,000 people have died worldwide due to COVID-19. The scientists and people employed in medical fields are working together to find a cure and/or vaccine for the virus. As of now, there hasn't been any success and the virus continues to propagate.

The mass-migration of labourers in India reminds us of the migration that took place during the partition of the country. Thousands of innocent people were forced to migrate due to irresponsible political decisions. The case is similar here. Due to the sudden lockdown, all transportation in the country came to halt. Labourers that worked away from their families, most of whom come from Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, have no place to stay, as they lack money and fail to pay rents due to visible unemployment.

The online classes are yet another issue. Students all over the country are protesting. The fact that our education-system always focused on formalities and syllabus-completion in place of learning is becoming evident. I myself faced a lot of frustration due to inefficiency in the classes. Spending an hour trying to comprehend what is being taught and yet failing to understand anything is very frustrating. I tried my best to get the formality to stop, but it did no good. The teachers and the management aren't willing to co-operate.

This time is a good time to spend on something extraordinary, such as:

Helping those in need.

Learning something new.

Connecting with and talking to people.

Listening to songs.

Getting creative/productive.

Doing nothing (absolutely nothing)! :)

This is an opportunity to explore ourselves, to discover the possibilities of what can be done when you are given an unexpected but long holiday, but whatever we do, in the meantime, let us hope for the best and pray that we defeat this pandemic soon and resume our lives! :)

#COVID-19 #covid 19 #2 years #feelings #learning #work #studies #trouble #life #understanding #college #University

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becccaaawww1989 · 6 years ago

Text

*Long Post, But If You Like Reading Please Read*

So I've decided to take on a huge project that probably SHOULD have been done sooner, but I don't think COULD have possibly been done sooner. So here's the story and here's the project:

!STORY TIME!

I was a creative writing major in college... However, I have not written anything for a year, and the whole year prior to that, every time I sat down with a notebook or at the computer it was torture. I used to save my creative writing homework for last cause I knew I'd enjoy it, but my final year that wasn't the case. I was told in my creative writing classes that my writing - if it was good enough - would protect me. It would protect me from those embarrassing moments I was writing about, and from the anger of other people because when it breaks down to it, it's a story and we read for good stories. Well, that wasn't the case. My writing was good, and that wasn't the case. Rob was wrong. I was wrong.

Then enter two years of depression followed by anxiety. Pretty much convinced I had no support from anyone in my life and then at the same time my anxiety started making up conspiracy theories about myself... how convenient. I stopped going to church, I stopped really believing in God [like I KNEW, but like... do you even care? Clearly not, so why do I put my trust in you? Type thing]. Through a very emotional night I confessed what I had been holding in for months about my confusion, bitterness and anger to Evan and of course Evan suggested I start going back to church but I was so reluctant. I didn't want to, but any time I went with him I felt almost as if my body had been full of static (like TV static) before church, and after it was like living with a clear screen. I could breathe for a little bit.

So this one day, I am sitting at work, minding my own business and this little girl comes in and gets a french manicure. Conversations take off and she starts telling me how her Dad's a pastor and I started to open up a little bit about my story and my doubts and that I grew up in church yada yada yada. So she invited me to her church... and feeling like it was maybe God finally paying attention to me again, I went. And I continued to go for a couple of months. They were warm and welcoming and EVERYTHING I WANTED... but any time there were events, my schedule didn't match up and I started to think that even though Solid Rock was what brought me back into the habit of going to church, maybe that wasn't where I was supposed to be. Which sucked cause there were a lot of amazing people there.

So then this one day I was tapping through Instagram stories and my friend from freshman year of college had posted this quick story about the church she had started going to, 2|42. I sent her a quick message about what it was like, and she was happy to respond. I then texted Evan and said "we are checking out another church." I swear I could hear his eyes roll through the phone.

Showed up at 2|42 and it was kind of everything I wanted, but for the longest time couldn't find a way to connect so while I was still going to 2|42 I was looking around at other churches... being me and preparing for the future I was already thinking "okay, I want my kids to be able to be in JBQ and Missionettes..." but I felt God pull me back and kind of tap me on the shoulder and remind me that I don't know what the future holds or if I'm still gonna be around the area for that. I had so much else to worry about before I worried about JBQ for my currently nonexistent kids. So focusing on the now, I ended up staying.

In the meantime with all of this going on, (excuse the language, but I can't find a better way to describe it...) shit hit the fan in my own personal life. I was battling with my roommate pretty much almost on a daily basis, feeling left out - on purpose - belittled, ignored and I honestly don't know what I ever did to her. As well as the Gymnastics Club board was having issues and I cared way too much about them that their stubbornness and my will to fight for myself was causing issues. When it came to personal interactions between people I called friends, I knew that I was no longer this sweet innocent freshman, I had some dirt on my hands, blood on my face, and in a lot of ways I wasn't afraid to show it. Creative writing encouraged me to un-sensor my work, so you could say my vocabulary expanded. It taught me how to talk about things in my writing that I typically wouldn't talk about. Personal thoughts, experiences, family issues, fears, intimate conversations and connections with friends. But in most conversations it felt like I would have been more respected by the people that surrounded me in my everyday life, if I had just stayed sweet and innocent, and never stood up for myself... or had never even written at times. It was as if they respected me as a Christian when I was 100% all about Jesus all the time, but didn't respect me/my beliefs when I was struggling with my faith - which is a common thing to struggle with. It was as if loosing my innocence was what lost me respect which was strange because everyone else was allowed to lose their innocence and they were welcomed with open arms into the club of people that could earn the "Platinum Certificate of Depravity." So after a night at sidetracks, I said goodbye to Dave, told him I loved him and I remember closing the door that night and deciding I needed a break.

The weeks that followed were ones where I was realizing that if I wanted to keep my income (as a nail technician) I would have to retire from gymnastics. I could not pull out one final season. So the plan was to talk to the board and strike a deal to keep my position without doing gymnastics for one last year and see if anyone wanted to be "trained" to take it over from me. But if it hadn't been for a warning from a close friend, I would have been blindsided when told that the board had not only talked about it without including me or notifying me, but had also decided that in order to continue making the videos for the team for the 2018 - 2019 season and posting on the Instagram and promoting the club... not only would i be doing that for free, but I would also have to pay the FULL 210 club dues. Without doing any of the gymnastics that came along with it. Which was the reason we were all there to begin with. I wasn't going to pay to do a job I should be getting paid for, and I wasn't going to pay to record everyone doing things I wished i could still physically do... which by the way, sucks. So I quit right then and there, handed over passwords and walked away. I gave away most of my leotards a month ago. *Not belittling the club or the current board, I am just explaining my decisions and how it felt.*

But it really left me feeling alone. All I had was work, Evan and my roommates. However, 2|42 was promoting this thing called ROOTED. If you joined there was a chance you would become a small group afterwards, so after weeks of saying no, I finally said yes. The group was a total God thing, and tonight was the first night since quitting the gymnastics club and completely walking away from it that I felt like I was going to - in all aspects of my life - be okay.

So... with that being said, I have been thinking about it, and it is about to be a huge project. But I have gone through, removed all previous pieces of writing from my blog, it is currently "Under Construction". This will take MONTHS. But I have started writing again. It is darker, and heavier and not what one would expect. However, I want to show the transformation of my life through my writing. From the moments of lost friends, to realizing that I had lost them, to the issues that followed, with the loss of faith, to feeling - like I said - covered in dirt, scares, lies, pain, drama, ultimatums and the struggle between wanting to break away from it all and become someone or something else or becoming and embracing the person you are meant to be with all of your dirt all over you. Innocence gone, friends gone, yearly traditions gone, mock awards gone, potlucks gone, Halloween and Christmas parties gone, leaving group chats, exiting conversations... to this life that has gone from a bad reputation to someone who is reclaiming it. Surrounded to alone and from alone to surrounded. From unforgivable to forgiven. From supported to unsupported from writing stories to writing poetry, from innocent -> Guilty -> Forgiven and finally a story of life without God to a life with God.

I would really love the support from anyone who enjoys reading. You can follow the link and click on the follow button or (with that button) set up an email that will be linked when I first re-launch it. I will probably share this again, but I am really excited to "relaunch" something that has had such a negative impact on my life and turn it into something I am proud of.

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