#and in every one his clever scheme somehow backfires

[valena-nedela]

Given the incident with the horse this seems like a very Loki sort of thing to happen.

A porn parody of that one norse mythology story where Loki gambles his own head in a bet with a bunch of dwarves and loses, and when the dwarves are about to cut his head off to claim their prize, Loki reminds them that he bet his head, not his neck, so even if his head is their property that they can use as they please, they can't unattach it from his body.

And instead of sewing his mouth shut, the dwarves... Nay, I shan't say it. But yes, the whole gang.

[2deadkat]

i'd love to hear ur complaints abt modern geronimo! If u'd like to share that is

Thank you for asking anon, I’d love to share and you have inadvertently entered the dragon’s den/lh

But fr tho, it’s a lot. It’s mostly pertaining to the writing.

The reason why I hate modern Geronimo is in the biggest nutshell possible, they screwed up the original dynamic for the Stiltons, a majority of the books is just one big game of Geronimo torture porn between the other characters, and overall a lot of wasted potential for unique interactions between the wider cast and the rest of the Stiltons as its limited to just Geronimo himself. Hell a lot of the plots could have the input from the other Stiltons if they were brave enough. And there seems to be a new character every few books and there’s no rhyme or substance to it anymore. Since when did trap reproduce???

And you’re telling me von Volt has another relative???? Yk at some point you just stop reading the books. Oh and do not get me started on the Thea problem…

Let me start with the Stiltons real quick, somehow they got worse by watering down their personalities to a bunch of cheap jokes.

What made the classic (or early) books work was that the whole point of Geronimo’s character is that yes he’s a wimp, but that’s because he’s a tired boss who gets dragged into his family’s shenanigans, and by extension his friends and allies around him. Everyone has some eccentric personality that shocks or baffle him in some way, and that’s where the comedy comes from. He’s able to stand on his own because of his duties and eagerness to stay in his comfort zone is where the meat of the interactions come from.

His family especially Trap and Thea were meant to be respective foils to him. Trap consistently bullies him and Thea is meant to be the direct opposite of him, she’s the driving force in the group and has more pants to cover up what Gerry doesn’t have. She’s the one behind a lot of their adventures or scoops, hell she’s also the one who keeps finding them in the first place and drags her family and connections into them which makes sense because that’s her job and also where a lot of the plots start from. She fills out the spots that Gerry doesn’t have. Trap is just pure comic relief and is basically that outside force to the group. Hell the two even have a dynamic of their own where’d they just fight over the most trivial things and that makes us side with Geronimo more because of the ridiculousness of his family, that’s what made it click (to me). Highly recommend you read the early books, it shows the strongest character imo (#1-20).

Now Geronimo has all his autonomy stripped away and he’s been reduced to a nothing but a punching bag for everyone around him. I hope I’m not kidding here but try reading a classic book (let’s say #7 or #26) and compare it to the writing in a modern book (let’s say #46 or #74) it’s very jarring. They put more emphasis on different ways his day is ruined and give him no room to breathe or stand on his own. There’s just no charm to that anymore. There’s no fine line with his relationship with the other characters (Run for the Hills Geronimo is probably the worse one and represents everything I don’t like about the new dynamic)

Now over time that initial draw to action is also done by Trap, which I thought was cool because it still plays into the idea of Geronimo’s family dragging him into their shenanigans and the motives make sense to him specifically. It’s like he keeps getting calls from his relatives on schemes which is fun. But the more you keep reading the modern books the dynamic gets skewed over time and here’s the part I’ve been waiting for…Thea gets shelved completely. And now it’s somehow the GOD DAMN GINGER BROS SHOW?????

Now I think about it, Trap used to be a lot more clever in the classic books as well, he’s essentially a bumbling fool who keeps falling into the wrong situations to make a quick buck which slowly backfires on him. If you know me that well you know I’d call him a less scummier Grunkle Stan. The fact that there’s no Thea to balance it out or at least ground the dynamic to some level feels really annoying now.

You don’t really see much of her anymore as she’s either smiling at the back or doesn’t say more than five lines anymore, which is baffling because she’s the one who can pick up the pace the most. I really wished they showed more of her involvement again…They’re a trio, not a duo…and the books are suspiciously phasing her out to make room for the ginger bros fail routine and it ultimately feels very empty…there’s not much acknowledgement or involvement from her really like they could say she’s busy at mouseford or something but nope! Shelved completely without an explanation or a missed opportunity for a tie-in mention.

So far the only redemption I see is the Mayan Mystery one and the Soccer one where she had a more integral role which are way more recent but it still bothers me that they just shelved her for a majority of the modern run.

Listen if the modern books weren’t cowards she would SOLO all these people

she’d probably have an interesting dynamic knowing that she gets along with everyone well and is technically an adventurer. It’d be such a good parallel to her brother to play off of.

hell it’s even worse in the comics. Like there’s legit no acknowledgment of her at all, when trap is absent that gets an explanation but she’s just suspiciously…gone and the only time she does have a major role is when she’s used as a fake mask for a psyche-out to the villains (I’m sorry but if the comics are gonna pull that shit then I’m baited to believe that Thea and (cat lady) would have a homerotic switcheroo fight akin to Ms.Bellum and Sedusa. SHES THE TOUGHEST AND SMARTEST RODENT, USE HER GODDAMIT)

Idk man I tried reading some of the comics and it never worked out that much, again the dynamic feels suspiciously empty with zero acknowledgment. It’s not the Stiltons it’s just the fucking ginger bros for some reason. It doesn’t feel solid like it used to. I really can’t get into them which is a shame, and tbf why would I want to read a comic where Geronimo goes back in time and helps a colonist do his thing 💀

I’d be very happy if someone here can give me one good reason to get into them somehow, I want to like modern Geronimo, please/s

Look if there’s one character I don’t mind them putting in complete absence it’s probably the unaccompanied minors/s…Or Petunia which makes much more sense since she’s a family friend!

Look I actually like Ben and Bugsy as a duo, I think their whole concept is really wholesome, but the books don’t really push their parts that much, like there’s no meaningful interaction they have with the adults which is a lot of missed potential that or it’s just limited to Geronimo. Like listen I get that the whole point of the books was that it was from Geronimo’s perspective, but it’s not like everyone else was just “present”. They had more active roles and Gerry would just write all his observations down. You want a good example? The Mona Mousa Code.

Still…Benjamin had more charm and a bigger role in the classic books…that boy can hyper fixate and master niche skills in anything and was the emotional rock for Geronimo. But now he just goes along with his uncle being a punching bag routine :/ and I KNOW they could do a lot more for Bugsy here, especially since the paws are practically family friends.

—-

But you know…I’ll do give it credit here this era has one of my favorite art styles in the series and notably the one I grew up with the most (classic books illustrations still hold more charm imo) but the way action and expression is illustrated is just *chefs kiss* there’s a certain bounce to it that makes it so memorable.

And I’ll do admit all those geography facts (even if it’s just basic facts I mean it’s a kids book) and long detailed lists or charts about a characters detail is really cool and somehow makes it more immersive.

And it’s really nice to see the universe get expanded.

But overall, the writing is not the same anymore, the original dynamic is screwed up, and lots of missed opportunity to round up the cast together. It’s either empty or I’m just getting too old…Maybe I’m just nostalgia-biased in different areas who knows. But that’s pretty all my thoughts I can pull out.

[mcheang]

This was submitted to me by @andromeda612

My ideas were added in orange

Idea/Prompt(? : is a new semester and Marc joins the class! Everybody is happy, Marc is such a sweet boy and a caring friend! Obviously the most happy are Nathaniel, Alix and Marinette.

Lila is not. Some nobody is stealling the attention! And it's not fair! She is dozen times more interesting and is obvious that this boy doesn't like the spotlight! But it's ok, the hype would decrease in a couple days. She would be the center of the universe again.

Except that it didn't happen.

Marc is very likeable specially whe he opens up with his friends, also once he is comfortable enough he shows his 'mom friend' side and is so endearing! Marinette, Alix and Nathaniel are the ones who can see this side of him the most, though. But the class is so touched by it, they also want to help him.

Also he and Nathaniel make one of the most popular comics in Paris, and all the class (even Chloe but she would never admitt it) are fans. Oh and Marc is an awesome writer and storyteller!!! Sometimes they manage to convince him to tell some of his stories and forgot completely about Lila.

Lila: but my stories are real! (You wish!) Isn't it more excited?

Kim: yeah, your experiencies are pretty cool, but Marc's stories are just too AWESOME! even if they are just stories, and he is a very good storyteller... once he controlls his nerves.

Not to mention Lila’s bragging has become rather tiresome

Her ego doesn't like this at all. She tries to befriend the boy, maybe she can take advantange of the new darling of the class (and is obvious Marinette is fond of the guy, so it would be a plus to piss her of)

But it is more difficult than she thougth. Everytime she tries to talk to him he just gives her short answers and stammering, he doesn't even make eye contact, and is hard to mantain a conversation straight. She tried to complaint with her minio... 'friends' but...

Lila’s friendly approach is too forceful and bold for the shy Marc

Max: oh yeah, you see, Marc has a lightly social anxiety, so it takes time for him to open up with new people. With the exception of Marinette, Nathaniel and Alix, apparently they manage to win his trust and friendship very quickly. Like some people would say, they just 'clicked'

Alix: Yeah, and Nathaniel and Marc definitely 'clicked' in more than one way if you know what I mean.

The girls giggle.

(Of course that I HAVE to put some Marcaniel here)

Mylene: is not something personal, it took time for all of us to befriend him, but now we are very good friends, and he even is our new "mom friend" I'm sure you would be his friend too, you just need to be patient.

But patient is not what she is, specially when she has to share the adoration and attention of her dumb classmates. Even Nathaniel, who never was one of her admirers or paid her that much attetion like the others do, seems to has eyes only for him! It was low blow to her ego.

Actually I feel like Lila can be patient if the Ladybug episode was anything to go by...

She tries to speed up the proces by charming him with one of her faboulous 'experiencies' and 'conections'

It backfired bad.

Because when she finished to tell her lie a very confused (and uncomfortable because he is still shy around her) Marc started to point out all the holes in her lie and the wrong facts or nosenses in it, with proof. AND IN FRONT OF THE CLASS

She was sure that having the support of her classmates during her tale would help to amaze him, but now the others are seeing her with a confused frown, she need to fix it!

For her luck Marc was starting to look overwhelmed for the attention their confused classmates were given him, so Marinette took him outside to calm him down. She took the chance and did some damage control. Somehow she manage to save face but was a very close call.

Now, the boy is clever than the rest of her dumb minions, and he actually almost got her exposed, so he is clearly a threath, specially if Marinette talks to him about her lies. If he already didn't find it out by himself.

Lila needs to take care of this new obstacle, so she decides to go hostile.

What Lila doesn't expecto is the Marc protection squad.

It turns out that after that close call some of her classmates were skeptical and noticed that something was off (they already had this feeling since Mari was expelled, but they brush it off, but now...) this classmates are Nathaniel, Alix, Kim and Max.

Alix noticing the mood in her friends was the one who brought up the topic, they talked and after a little thinking and the input of Markov they realized that Lila was lying. Then Alix remember Marinette's claims about Lila and decide to talk to her.

When they found her she is talking with Marc, of course is about Lila and her lies, luckily Marc is a good listener and has his own suspicions. They all talk, Marinette's friends finally listen to her and discover Lila's true colors, they apologize and she forgives them, after all despite Lila's threat they never treated her different and were still good friends with her, it hurt that they brush off her concerns but everybody makes mistakes.

They also discover that Adrien knew, at first they were angry, but then Mari calls Adrien and he explains his motives, and well the poor boy really didn't knew better, but he does now and a deal with devil is punishment enough, also he is the reason Mari's name is clean.

Now that they are in the same page, and Adrien is also present (through video call) Marinette tells that now she is more concerned about Marc.

He almost got Lila exposed and he wasn't even trying! Lila is going to see him as a threat and will make everything to get ride of him, just like she tried with her.

That make all of them worried and angry, Alix and Nathaniel the most. So they decide that the bitch needs to fall.

They would protect Marc (and Marinette because despite the deal they highly doubt that Lila would let her alone) from every scheme Lila tries. They also will research and collect proof to expose her.

Lila's first plan is hostility, the boy is terrible shy, it would be easy intimidate him and use fear to controll him like a puppet.

But every attempt goes wrong or backfire somehow, she is caugh in the middle of some of them, of course she says is all a misunderstanding or an accident, but she can't get close thin ice.

Also she can't cornered nor threaten him like she did with Marinette, the boy is NEVER alone, he is always with Alix, Marinette, Nathaniel, Kim or Max, EVEN ADRIEN would keep him company if either of them aren't near.

Then she tries to frame him, maybe she stole an important object from some classmate and tried to planted it in Marc's school bag, but when she tries to put the item in it her arm gets caught by some trap.

Of course she tries to complain against Marc, but Marinette is quick to defend him, Marc is a little paranoid about his stuff, specially his journal, and due to past accidents with stolen stuff (everybody glares at Chloe) she offered to make some security system for his stuff. Marc frees her arm with the key of the trap and shyly tells her that if she needs to borrow something the next time she just need to ask. The brat actually has the nerve to lectures her.

Marc: it’s rude to touch other's belongings without their permission.

And when Marc looks in his bag and takes out the stolen item she tried to make her move, but before she can even open her mouth the owner inmediatly assumes that somehow they lose it and hugs Marc for finding it and keeping it safe "Thanks mom!"

Aaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhh!

And just badmouthing him won't work, from what she learned about the boy he is a little ball of nerves and so sickenly polite, even Lila has to admitt that it would be hard to believe that the boy was being mean even by accident without a well planted proof. Also all the class seems to adore him, and Alix, Marinette and Nathaniel would defend him with tooth and nail.

She tries again and again, but always end the same, all his stuff is sabotage proof and she ends tramped. And her classmates are starting to look at her with suspicion, because is like the fifth time she is caught and why is she poking around Marc stuff in the first place? And oh! Poor Marc! Is the sixth time in two weeks he almos trip over very bad, and he has have many accidents recently! Is a luck that Alix, Marinette, Nathaniel, Kim, Max and Adrien were always there so it never happen something bad!

Hey! Lila is involved in many of them, some of the accidents were her fault! Is strange, isn't it? (Yep, the squad is sowing the suspicious deeds)

She changes targets, If she can get ride of Marinette again she could drag Marc with her.

But Marinette also has all her stuff with tramps, after her expullsion she is more careful with her stuff and the class is on her side. And now she is more suspicious, first with Marc and now with Marinette, is that she hasn't learned her lesson with all her incidents with Marc? Oh and him? That little wretched boy has the audacy to give her a I'm-not-mad-just-dissapointed look everytime she is caught with Marinette's stuff. The class can't help but agree with their 'mom friend'.

The class is getting wary of her, she is losing control, but she refuses to lose against this nobodies!

Now her exposure: it would be that now that her classmates are suspicious of her they start to take a close eye to her, and they start to notice how she is actually very near of Marc everytime he almost has an accident, and how she would make a comment that sound nice but when you think about it is actually a stab in the back, or how quick she is to blame Marinette, or how she tries to subtle disparage Marc or/and Marinette. And now they are noticing the flaws in her stories.

At the end they fact check and discover the truth, or Lila is caught red handed trying to sabotage Marc or frame Marinette. They complain to Bustier and Damocles with the squad's research, the matter goes to the school board and the principal and the teacher are under scrutiny, Lila's mom is called and she is in so much trouble, karma collect her debt. (Akumatization optional)

Or

Maybe for some reason she manage to get Marc alone, or is what she thought, the squad try to not let him alone but they have a plan for that case. If for whatever reason any of them can't accompany him, Max would let Markov with Marc, and the AI would follow-up closely the writer everywere.

So Lila finally cornered and threaten him (and if you want some bashing she can get violent and actually assaults him) but Markov witnesses everything, and since he is an AI his memories are video and audio recording that can be shown as evidence with his testimony, also Marc gave the consent to be recorded for security because they were suspicious about Lila trying something like that.

And just to put the nail in the coffin, the squad's research is presented to the school board, Damocles and Bustier are under scrutiny, Lila's truancy is discovered and her mom is called, she is exposed to all the class and is in so much trouble, karma happens (akumatization optional)

Or

Maybe she is exposed until the squad present their investigation to the school board and... you know what comes next.

In any case, the rest of the class also apologize to Marinette and promise to do better, she forgive them (because at the end they were still her friends and were always nice to her despite what Lila said, everybody makes mistakes).

Happy ending :D

Bonus: Maybe sometime in the middle of the Protect Marc campaign, or at the end of the take Lila Down, Marc and Nathaniel confess their feelings and start dating :3

[gravityfissure]

[meta] What, if any, games, movies, books, tv shows, etc. have you drawn influence from for your character?

Okay so round 2, much in the same vein for Arthur there are... A lot. Possibly even more things that influence and inspire where Otto’s muse and views comes from. That said in writing this there are also a LOT of similarities between the characters I can pick out certain attributes and to be honest there’s a lot of crossover with the traits and characterisations highlighted.

Namely: playful and proactive, self-serving yet loyal to those that meet his criteria as to who is deserving of it. A grifter by nature that will approach almost any situation if he feels he’ll get something out of it while equally hoping that one day someone might actually bother to ask him (and maybe give him a true reason) to stay.

Dorian - Dragon Age: Inquisition

Uh, the heir of a famous magical dynasty? A flair of magical talent that made him the envy of his peers? Studied at one of the best colleges for the magical arts before being kicked out and privately tutored before eventually vanishing and being found by Magister Gereon Alexius who offered to take him as his apprentice eventually becoming a fully-ranked enchanter. A pariah for opposing every fault his homeland is renowned for?

It’s been years since I’ve played DA:I and Dorian always was one of my favourite characters but tbh I completely forgot his background and it’s only in revisiting it now I actually realise the similarities in the framework of their characters/development/story line. Not to mention the fact they both enjoy playful flirtation and witty banter and oppose the things they don’t fit into their view of the world. They will probably do the right thing, but that doesn’t mean they might not take their sweet ass time in actually getting into a situation.

Isabela - Dragon Age II and Inquisition 

AND AGAIN. Isabela’s a great character - a pirate scourge of coastlines and nations around the world who values fun, freedom and getting ahead in life. They both value solving situations in clever and devious ways and getting ahead even if it means being somewhat selfish when they’re dealing with other people, example: Otto conning Deirdre out of $28k when she tried to cover for Regan or those plans he has to try and record a banshee scream? They’re both always down for trying to squeeze that little bit extra out of a person. If it one ups them in life and people are gullible enough to fall for it well... They really did it to themselves didn’t they?

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t depths to that hardened persona they both present. There are actual feelings and things hidden behind the wall and appearance they both present to the world. And underneath it all they’re both afraid of being left behind, but figure it’s best to push people away before they decide to leave of their own volition. At least that way they can say they have some control over the situation.. 

Sera - Dragon Age: Inquisition

Apparently this is a DA characters list but you know what sue me. x) So NEXT on the list is Sera, an elven archer who is incredibly impulsive and reactionary. She takes pure delight in humbling the established authority she views as arrogant and selfish. It’s less about what’s right in the grand scheme of things but more about what’s right in that very moment. She doesn’t believe in actions taken for a greater good, instead viewing it as just another excuse to hurt others undeserving of such treatment because it’s easier than making the truly hard choices in life. 

Felix Dawkins - Orphan Black

Look Felix is one of the many fascinating characters on Orphan Black. Don’t get me wrong there are SO many and it’s a great show. But Felix is a character whose very existence proves that you can have a very effeminate, boisterous, loud, witty gay character and not have him be limited to the perpetuation of the sassy gay friend stereotype. Why? Because he has a whole complex personality beyond just that aspect of his life. He’s got to deal with real life issues on top of all the drama clone club brings into his life and he deals and he survives and he cOPES.

Not to mention he’s a positive representation of foster children being happy, positive representation of LGBTQ+ characters and gives positive representation of sex workers. Not to mention on top of all that representation you see how he’s smart as hell, the only person who knows Sarah well enough to keep her on track. The BEST uncle to Kira and one of the most supportive characters on the show. 

Sarah - Orphan Black

Felix’s foster-sister, another character that shows the positive and complex dynamic that foster families tend to have while also demonstrating the fascinating found-family dynamic with clone club. Sarah’s interesting because she’s a natural chameleon, she’s street-smart and tough, a born outsider living on the fringes by her wits while in possession of a dark sense of humour that sees her by.

Sarah and Otto have a rather morally ambiguous compass, they’re both characters who swing between being very self-serving and selfish and acting for the greater good when they decide it’s needed. Not to mention the act as if they don’t care about other people’s issues (see clone club) when actually it transpires they both might just care a little more than they actually let on.

Garcia Flynn - Timeless

Unfortunately Garcia fits the my favourite character type: tall, dark, snarky, sassy antihero motivated fiercely by love and willing to do things of questionable morality against a greater evil, self-aware and doesn’t make excuses for his behaviour, but isn’t wringing his hands over it either.  A character who so dearly loves the people in his life (see revenge for his wife and daughter) so much so he’s still fighting for them 5 years later just to be alive and not even to have anything to do with him again because he knows the things he’s done are enough the he could never go back to being that person for them. The man who loved his mum and went on a trip just to make her happy and save his brother. When he truly cares for someone he does EVERYTHING for them while somehow having none of the toxic jealous possessive business, despite his  well-attested Garbage Drama in other departments, and just generally being a mature adult and an essentially good person who has gone down some really dark places and is finally rediscovering what he’s buried and lost. Look man, I’m a suuuuuuuuuuuuucker for found family, enemies to lovers, and villain becomes weird family member. And he covers all of those, so yes. 

There’s a lot of that I’m planning and drawing on for Otto, this weird currently antagonistic little self-serving shit who is out for his own ends but maybe along the way finds some semblence of a conscious and maybe has a fair few moral dilemmas and self-questioning moments along the way? Who maybe finds friends (and even love?) Who has to deal with FEELINGS and things he’s repressed for years because of the things he’s done just to survive the life he fell into? Uh, yes give me give me give me.

Jesse Custer - Preacher

Okay, so this one’s kind of another given. Jesse’s another character I’m fascinated with because before Genesis’ arrival he was a down upon his luck preacher. A man who was trying so hard to fit into his dad’s ideal and not let the life he had before affect his day to day. Except it all goes to hell in a handbasket because of course it does.

Jesse essentially gains the ability to make anyone do anything he says. And that power? It’s addictive, and we see the struggle he goes through to learn how to control and manipulate it to his own end. To begin with he tries to right wrongs, to tell people to stop doing the bad things they’re doing in their lives and fix them so they’re better people but with each act that power and god-complex grows. It goes to his head until we meet the moronic messiah Humperdoo and Jesse eventually agrees to take his place. The messiah-complex and power corruption is complete, and the repercussions of his choices are devastating especially with how they impact Cassidy or Tulip and the repercussions in Angelville.

Much like Otto’s own magic, the more its used the more enticing it is to carry on using it for more and more things. At first it was small deeds, little acts of good until Otto in kind started to realise that good deeds weren’t enough to make a change. They weren’t enough for other people around him and with each act it grew and grew - and it continues to grow. The question is to what level? And if it ever got out of control, would he ever know how to stop it?

Crowley - Good Omens

An overall non-threatening demon, who tries to be “evil” in his own way to fit into the role his society (other demons) expect of him. Crowley wants to save the world (for his own reasons) and can be rather self-serving in certain moments. There’s plenty of times he tried to convince Aziraphale to run away with him and let everything else forgive the irony but for lack of a better term “go to hell” but he always comes around in the end (typically to a Queen track) to help when it really counts for something.

 Not to mention his flare for the dramatic, very rarely thinking things through, with many of his own plans backfiring on him.  

Sound familiar?

Wrench - Watch Dogs 2

Part-hacker and full-fledged anarchist who wears a freaky mask with LED displays capable of bizarre emoticons. He's vulgar, crude, entertaining and an absolute adrenaline junkie who lives on the edge. He's jokingly called the wrench because he's the wrench you throw into somebody's gears to grind them to a halt.

The final one on the list, because it’s a side I haven’t yet played into so much but I’m curious to given means and opportunity to. Otto does have some inclination towards an anarchistic nature, if a system doesn’t seem to work he isn’t afraid to speak out or more likely act out against it. Whether it’s in the greater good or not isn’t so much relevant rather that he would happily take a torch and burn something to the ground if it meant starting again with something new and better in its place. It’s definitely something I want to explore more down the line.

I also find it interesting the whole concept of “hiding behind a mask” which is something wrench quite literally does. Both have built personas to defend themselves from people breaking through and seeing that what actually exists on the other side is a rather shy and awkward person who tries to “act out” and be “dramatic” in an attempt to get attention from a world in which there’s so much noise how could anyone ever feel like their voice mattered let alone be heard unless they started shouting “HEY, LOOK AT ME” at the top of his lungs?  

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: January 2019

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of January 2019 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

It seems that Rachel Riley is quite smart at maths but a complete moron at anything else, what with her accusing Noam Chomsky of antisemitism in spite of the fact that Chomsky is a little bit Jewish, before following it up by encouraging her far-right Twitter followers to dogpile onto anyone voicing different opinions to her - which mainly involved a 16-year old girl bearing the brunt of it.  However she wasn’t finished there, as when she was rightly being criticised for encouraging her followers to dogpile onto people she then went whinging to the press about being bullied by left-wing trolls before announcing she needed personal security for when she was attending Countdown tapings, which sounds uncannily similar to the same stunt Laura Kuenssberg pulled a couple of years ago

Starting the year with a bang we had Chris Grayling first try and defend the Seaborne Freight farce by saying he was supporting up-and-coming British business (while omitting the parts about them being owned by the brother of a significant Tory donor, or not having any ships or trading history, let alone the fact the contract wasn’t even put out to tender) and followed that up by claiming the rail fare hikes are entirely the fault of the unions and definitely nothing to do with shareholder dividends or years of rail services taking the piss with fare hikes on January 2nd every year.  Of course, Grayling being Grayling, he also helped out the Britait debate by saying that a second referendum shouldn’t take place because if the result came back in support of Remain it would go against The Will Of The People™ - which apparently said people willingly voting to remain wouldn’t be

It didn't help Grayling that those checking the Seaborne Freight website found that their Ts & Cs were from the template used when setting up a website for a takeaway food outlet, the timetable for services was blank (and, for some reason, in Latin), while their privacy page had forgotten that the fields marked [Business Name] are supposed to be filled with the name of the business using the website

Overly sensitive snowflake Piers Moron Morgan spent a hell of a lot of time and energy yelling from the rooftops how appalling it was that Greggs are selling vegan sausage rolls, which is apparently the downfall of humanity as we know it and definitely not the hourly cry for attention from an attention-seeking lunatic - and while some claimed it was a stunt because he and Greggs share a PR agency, that theory appears to have been ever so slightly undermined by him then spouting off about McDonalds selling vegan Happy Meals

It’s funny how James Goddard demonstrated just how much of a difference a day makes, with him threatening Anna Soubry and Owen Jones on January 7th and bellowing at police officers that if they so much as touched him he’d start a a war...yet on January 8th he was bawling his eyes out on Twitter because his Facebook and PayPal accounts had been terminated

Lying (through his teeth) in front of a tractor Boris Johnson claimed he never mentioned Turkey at any point during the EU Referendum campaign - and when confronted with his numerous comments about Turkish immigrants flocking into the UK if the country voted Remain by Channel 4 journalist Michael Crick, he ran away to hide like an utter coward

Proving that gaslighting is the in thing at the BBC, Director General Tony Hall stated in an interview with the Financial Times that there is no need to discipline Andrew Neil for referring to Carole Cadwalladr as a “mad cat woman” as he had apologised - except for the fact that, while it may be plausible that Neil apologised to the BBC, there has not been a public apology for his comments

Sticking with the BBC, it took just two editions of Question Time before Fiona Bruce showed her true colours as she spent ten minutes making jokes about Diane Abbott (including suggesting that she only became Shadow Home Secretary because she once slept with Jeremy Corbyn) prior to one edition which Abbott was a guest on, and for the remainder of the episode constantly talked over Abbott while letting the other guests speak uninterrupted, including allowing Isabel Oakeshott to not just make a patently false statement but use said patently false statement to attack Abbott.  It wasn’t helped that when the BBC finally got around to admitting fault almost two weeks later, their statement actually said it was a joke - you know, like the school bully tries to claim when they get caught

Oh boy, there were so many triggered manbabies were up in arms about a Gillette advert for suggesting that maybe, just maybe, being a toxic dickhead isn’t any way to behave - to which they responded by acting like a bunch of toxic dickheads throwing a temper tantrum all over social media not seen since Nike featured Colin Kaepernick in an ad campaign

I’m going to assume AnonymousQ1776 thought they were being really, really clever when posting that video clip of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez coupled with their sneering comment that made them sound uncannily like a teenage edgelord who doesn't know what communism is but throws the word around a lot.  I’m also going to assume they weren’t happy when the stunt backfired on them by not only making Ocasio-Cortez look like a normal human being who does normal things, but doing so also reopened the can of worms about what Brett Kavanaugh was up to when he was younger...

Middle England’s favourite edgelord Rod Liddle obviously needed to be extra quote-unquote provocative this month after using his column in The Sun to suggest that what Britain needs is a new political party that represents traditional values - which means neither Muslims nor the entire LGBT spectrum are not allowed

Just when you thought John Humphreys couldn’t sound any more like a pompous windbag with the credibility of a arthritic toad, he only goes to suggest that the Republic of Ireland should rejoin the UK - because who gives a toss about centuries of history or the minor inconvenience of 92% of irish people preferring to remain in the EU when Radio 4′s most jumped-up presenter suggests they swallow their pride and return to the warm chokehold of the British Empire? 

It appeared The Daily Star had a real scoop when they printed an interview with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in which he made scathing comments about the “snowflake generation” and how they were “looking for reasons to be offended” - that is until Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson issued a statement saying that not only did he not say those things, but he also never gave that interview

It seems The Board of Deputies of British Jews never got around to reading The Crucible judging by their going Full Baddiel and accusing Tottenham fans of antisemitism and, in the same statement, said they should follow the model of Chelsea fans - yes, the same Chelsea fans who have subjected Spurs fans to songs about Hitler and gas chambers for decades, who just so happen to be under investigation by UEFA for their anti semitic chanting during a Europa League match against Vidi in December

This month’s worst case of Trump Derangement Syndrome comes from Sarah Huckabee Sanders after she said that God wanted Donald Trump to become President in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network

Lucky for Lara Kollab there’s nothing in the hippocratic oath forbidding being an anti semitic bigot on Twitter.  On the other hand, there certainly was in the employment contract at the hospital she worked at, which is why they fired her

Somehow the British Army paid £1.5m on an recruitment ad campaign that was so successful that it led to members of the army quitting when finding out their photos were used to recruit “Snow flakes" (sic) and “Me me me millennials” - but that didn’t stop Gavin Williamson claiming it was “a powerful call to action” (rather than “bloody patronising”) while James Cleverly mouthed off like an idiot on Twitter in support because mouthing off like an idiot on Twitter is all that somebody who makes their surname fair game on a regular basis like James Cleverley knows how to do

It took a while but Jake Paul finally found a way to reclaim his crown of Most Odious Paul Brother by hitting upon a loot box scheme to encourage his viewers to, in effect, gamble - because apparently he (and Ricegum) only paid attention to the part where the likes of Electronic Arts were making money hand over fist when they were shoving loot boxes in all their games, but didn’t bother listening when various gambling commissions began looking into the practise

To prove my point James Cleverly took it upon himself to take to Twitter and sneer “You do realise that it’s not a documentary” when I, Daniel Blake was airing on TV - because it's better to score points on Twitter than admit that a UN report late last year was damning of the Tory government’s treatment of their less well-off citizens, isn’t it?

Trying to explain away his dickheadishness saw Wayne Hennessey claim he wasn’t doing a Nazi salute in a photo that happened to be taken by German teammate Max Meyer, he was actually waving at somebody - and the reason he had his finger on his top lip wasn’t the well-known mimicry of Hitler’s ‘tache but he was putting his hand to his mouth so somebody on the other side of the room could hear him.  For some strange reason nobody was convinced...

Attention-seeking loon Laura Loomer didn’t learn from the humiliation conga line that was her so-called protest at Twitter HQ judging by her protest against illegal immigration that involved her climbing over the fence around Nancy Pelosi’s property and setting up a stall on Pelosi’s lawn - at which point she appears to have forgotten what she was protesting about and instead kept yelling for Pelosi to respond to her, even though anyone with C-SPAN would’ve told her Pelosi was currently in the Senate

In order to promote her UK tour Azealia Banks thought the best idea was to vomit a long string of invective about the Irish on her social media all because she got irked by one Aer Lingus flight attendant

Can somebody tell Bill Maher that he doesn’t make himself sound more correct every time he regurgitates the “adults shouldn’t read comics” rant he first brought it up in the wake of Stan Lee’s death?  Because it appears nobody has

Out of curiosity, is Gregory Prytyka Jr. still popping over here in an attempt to find material to try and attack me with because they can’t handle the fact I called them out for their tedious shitposting, or have they crawled back under the rock they usually live under?

And finally, harrumphing to himself in a way that everyone can hear (although they wish they couldn’t) is Donald Trump and his banquets that look suspiciously like those given by the megalomaniacal villain of Kingsmen, continuing to throw a diplomatic temper tantrum over a wall he said Mexico would pay for

[seyaryminamoto]

Hey, I've been meaning to read Gladiator, but the story's really long, so I'm wondering if you can tell me what's currently happening so I can get motivated to read through the 100+ chapters?

Well, seeing as it’s Gladiator’s Anniversary just today, I’m taking the chance to answer your ask and hopefully convince you somehow to join in on this crazy ride :)

Gladiator is a retelling of ATLA, as you must know already. The world of ATLA is very similar to how it is in canon, though I changed a few factors, so not everything is 100% the same. As the summary says, the Avatar wasn’t found by Sokka and Katara at the time where they do in ATLA, and that leaves us with a very different storyline that includes the Fire Nation going down a darker path once the Earth Kingdom is defeated: slavery. It’s Ozai’s idea of making some use of the proud, stubborn Earth Kingdom populace who refuse to obey his rule.

There are major powers at play in the story: the Fire Nation controls most the world but the poles are still their own nations. The Fire Nation navy is locked in a fierce struggle they can’t seem to win against the Northern Water Tribe, while sending forces they can spare to slowly take over the territories of the South.

Sokka won’t stand for such a takeover, of course. Stubborn, strong, at 21-years-old, he decides to fight back and push off the invaders. He doesn’t expect that his plan will backfire on him when a deadly princess with blue fire just so happens to be in the South Pole, as her father’s envoy.

Sokka fights back, but it’s not enough. Yet for reasons he doesn’t understand, Azula spares his life… but the next thing he knows, she orders for him to be taken as a prisoner, and afterwards he’s sent to a slave market in the Fire Nation. The owner of the Amateur Gladiator Arena of a lowly Fire Nation town, Hui Yi, takes Sokka into his ranks and forces him to fight other gladiators to the death on the sand. 

This goes on for two years, until Azula is forced, because of some “mistakes” she made, to find a gladiator in order to defend her ambitions and her plans for her future. And as you must guess, her circumstances bring her to the very same gladiator she damned to this dreadful life.

Alright, so, after this weird summary of the first few chapters, I’ll answer your question!

As we are right now, it’s little less than two years since Azula and Sokka joined forces as gladiator and sponsor for the first time. In between what I explained and this point of the story, they’ve seen been a LOT of strife, trouble from all fronts: they’ve had relationship drama, they’ve met lots of canon characters through gladiator fights and Sokka has faced off against some seriously deadly enemies now that he’s sponsored by Azula. In the larger scheme of things, also, they’ve defeated the Rough Rhinos (after the group rebelled against the Fire Nation’s order for them to stop pillaging the Earth Kingdom), they’ve uncovered a conspiracy by the Dai Li to retake Ba Sing Se, they saved the Fire Nation capital when it was vulnerable through a very clever plot concocted by the Order of the White Lotus, and lots of more things.

(Just to clarify, since not everyone seems to understand it by reading the story: the White Lotus here isn’t comprised just by epic old men who like Pai Sho and tea. The White Lotus has become the only bastion of rebellion against the Fire Nation’s growing empire, and they’re the only opposition that represents a real threat to their rule. Because of this situation, and because of a few factors that will be revealed in due time, the White Lotus has been a little too permissive about new members these days, and a lot of them merely join for the sake of fighting the Fire Nation somehow. In short, there’s a serious amount of not-so-great people in the White Lotus, and there’s also that the traditional members have very different takes on how to handle the war right now, when they think there’s nearly no hopes of defeating the Fire Nation as things are).

At the current point in our story, Sokka and Azula are very much involved in a committed relationship, and they may be more invested in it than they should be. They’ve taken their relationship a little further than they should have (… in short, there’s smut in this story, that speaks for itself). Their struggle, at first, had been about resisting their growing feelings. By now, all resistance was futile and their struggle is about keeping their relationship secret. But so far a few people have discovered it, for instance Toph recently found out about it (chapter 118). The real danger is, of course, if Ozai ever hears of it. If he knew his daughter is involved with a slave… well, the consequences won’t stop at Sokka’s execution. So they have to tread carefully and they know it, but sometimes it’s harder than it should be…

Anyways! Our current story arc is quite an exciting one, since it brings in the White Lotus for the first time since the chapters 51-57. Azula, Sokka and the captain of Azula’s guards, Rui Shi, are traveling across the Earth Kingdom on their way to Yu Dao. Their current predicament is that they’re being targeted, and followed, by Jeong Jeong. The most legendary firebender of Azulon’s time is sending his men after our princess and her gladiator, and nobody really knows why… (okay, obviously I know but I’m not telling xD you guys will have to wait a couple more chapters to understand what’s going on if you haven’t guessed yet, hehe).

As they travel, Azula and Sokka’s relationship grows stronger, as it always does because that’s what this story is about xD If you’re interested in reading Sokkla, I will say this story is, in short, the playground where I can fulfill practically every single one of my dreams about these two. There’s really no limits for it, I get to do it all. The slow-burn, steadily growing romance, the fulfilled relationship where they learn their way around each other, where they learn how to trust each other and share their lives… in short, it’s not only the “how they get together”, but the “what happens after they’re together”, too. In fiction you usually get one or the other, and most my other stories tend to be like that, too. And of course, it’s about how the development of the relationship affects both the characters, how it changes them. Azula has come a very long way from the cold-blooded, detached girl she was when she first showed up. Sokka as well has grown A LOT, as he has learned to see the world through different eyes. Well, to be fair, they both learned that xD 

So, if you want relationship and character development, you’ll find quite a bit of it here :D

Gladiator is a grand scale story: it’s a full retelling of ATLA, as I said, and it features the war as a plot that will become more central as the story progresses. The Gladiator business exists, slavery does, too, and there’s just so much to address that I can’t possibly end things cheaply with a simple “And now they’re together, storytime’s over”. This story is guided by Azula and Sokka, no doubt, but it’s not a story with the only purpose of sating my shippy feels. Its plot is just as important as the romance that sparked it all, and both things are blended together in a sometimes unbalanced mix that sometimes has more of one thing than the other… but well, I try to do both things at once ^^U

If this isn’t enough to catch your attention, sorry to hear it ^^U I do understand, though, not wanting to take the plunge with such a long story. It’s ridiculously long, but I always knew it would have to be if I was going to tell the story I wanted to tell. The good thing about fanfiction is that the writer isn’t limited by factors that usually would be a problem in regular fiction (no one on their right mind would publish a 1.4M story, obviously xD). So yes, I’ve made the most of this advantage. Some might think I’ve made too much of it and should slow down xD but anyways, if you do give the story a shot, I hope you enjoy it. I believe the first arcs are tense and action packed, and they tend to draw people in well enough. Hopefully you’ll enjoy them, and the rest of the story too if you decide to give it a chance :)