#and im tired of having bad dreams.every nigtj theres no escape from it snd feelinf trapped is a trigger for me it makes me want to harm
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great and now she's STILL scheduling shit on thursdays. the one day of the week she knows I'm busy. she really doesn't fucking want me around huh guess I'll just go kms
#at this rate im never going to spend time with them again lmfao.#whatever theyre her friends so fair enough. ive never rly been a part of their group just on the outside ๐#and she doesnt let me forget it! thanks really appreciate it. I give up man I dont know what u want from me anymore#.vent#i just dont understand what did i do am i being punished for something please#i cant do this i feel so trapped its been so bad for weeks and everyone keeps pushing me smaller and smaller and it hurts so much#i need someone i can cry to or just talk to and im just being left behind over and over and its bringing up so many intrusive memories#and im tired of having bad dreams.every nigtj theres no escape from it snd feelinf trapped is a trigger for me it makes me want to harm#so im having to deal with reining in that urge while also not having any other way to direct how i feel.outwards i feel like.im imploding#if i think any more im going to start screaming or throw up. i hate being stuck.in this body with this stupid fucking mind#and no one gives a single fuck its just a 'mental health moment' so its cool i guess!!!!!! normal and fine things to experience!!!!!#i cant i cant i cant i feel like a fucking three year old.having a temper tantrum this is so stupid why am i so broken i cant do this
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