#and im such a fuckign people pleaser im putting off havint this talk w myselr
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#idk why its june always tht i suddenly get the fear im not as cis as thought to be#rn i identify as a bi cisgirl but. god i dont know anymore#bc i like girls but. then when i like boys its like i like the idea of being w boy who likes them?????#and its so scary to even think tht#bc i always was u kno. a lil weird but hid it n thts why the popular kids liked me bc iwas a nerd but i hid it#and obvi being anerd is diff than being trans but theyre both thinfs tht might put off ppl#and im such a fuckign people pleaser im putting off havint this talk w myselr#&i can hide my bi ness p well most ppl either think im str8 or in the cool eldgy limbo where u nvr rly kno but its not quite gay enough 2 h8#but being trans would be a very non hideable thing#i dunno i guess it might just b the idea tht girls are fragile and small but im 5'9 and broad and big and tower over boys#im just so confused and i hate it and realizong i wae bi took 2 seconds of self reflection at 14 this is takign years of fleeting thoughts#i sont wanna think abt it i wajt one fucking peice of normalcy in my life where im cis and not scared someones gonna hurt me for existing#sorry sorry i need to stop talking#transphobia mention#in the tags at least
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