#and im sold on the assassin's creed shit going on

[tenrose]

I wanted to watch it to trash talk about it and complain as it is my french god given right, but so far it's good????

[yanderepuck]

So I bought the DLC for Assassin's Creed Brotherhood simply for the Salaì content. And even tho the designers did him dirty, the dialogue is on point.

Let me give you a run down of my favorite key points

Leonardo: you underestimate Salaì

Ezio: we'll see about that

Ezio did in fact underestimate Salaì

Because he was at the thieves guild...gambling..and there's a prostitute dancing on the table

Ezio: Giacomo

Salaì: I do not answer to that name

Ezio: *annoyed sigh* Salaì

Salaì: good enough I guess

~

Ezio: the three men from the game are following us. Stay quiet.

Salaì: why? *Turns around to face them*

Just listen to the man. All you have is a dagger.

~

Salaì: I know a good route. I take it every morning after the taverns close

WHY ARE YOU GOING TO THE TAVERN EVERYNIGHT

~

Salaì: *about Leonardo* he never takes me out. And he's so cheap! I have to beg him for money

And then he admits to just taking his money.

~

Salaì: there's something written on the floor

Ezio: what is it?

Salaì: I can't read

With ikevamp Salaì... I have him complain about not being able to read when he's younger...let alone Leonardo's backwards handwriting

~

Salaì: I sold one of Leonardo's paintings. I needed the money for a doublet...but now it's gone out of fashion

Ezio: *is so tired of his shit and it's been maybe 30 minutes*

Salaì actually LOVED shopping. What's hilarious is that Leonardo made sure to point out in one of his notebooks that Salaì owned 24, pairs of shoes. This bitch had STYLE

~

Ezio: Salaì! Think!

Salaì: IM TIRED OF THINKING

~

Salaì sounded so gay when he said "being him back to me" bc Leonardo got kidnapped and now he's a wreck

Leonardo: I suppose Salaì is out having fun spending my hard earned money

Ezio: Salaì is safe at home

Leonardo: I'm relieved- about my money that is

Ezio: Salaì fits you. I approve

Leonardo: ..I...

Ezio: what? Is the great Leonardo da Vinci at a loss for words?

The only thing that sucks about the DLC....WE DONT GET TO SEE THEM REUNITE. I wanted to see them hug.

Ezio finally saves Leonardo tho and Leonardo is trying to figure out some hidden knowledge thing and Ezio is like "something's aren't meant for us." AND GETS HIM OFF TRACK SO EASILY BY TALKING ABOUT HIS OTHER PROJECTS. The ADHD really kicked in for Leonardo.

Leonardo says so much gay shit throughout the whole game

Anyway. I love Leonardo and I love Salaì. I want to have dolls of them and make them kiss

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[kingofcurses]

harry watches the witcher

episode 1 thoughts:

the monsters look cool af

this bitch really drowning huh

intro is kinda cool?

assassin’s creed vibes from the hood

how is he a mutant

oof who is this woman she’s a badass and nice shutting down of her dumbass husband

she’s very uwu

“more and more i find monsters wherever i go”

YO ITS TEE FROM THE DUMPING GROUND

she sold him her dog when it died oof

you ever been to hell?

wheres jaskier

oooooooooh magicccccccccccccc dooooooooooor

this is not what illusions are meant for

do witchers murder? think thats against the witcher code tbh

also FUCK THE MUSIC IS GOOD

wait is this ciri?

she’s babie also literal fav

geralt is a himbo, also cavill looks weirdly non-human, also geralt reminds me of an npc.

internal m u t a t i o n s

god this is so confusing cos people have confusing names

geralt really feels plastic idk why

“evil is evil stragabor, lesser, greater, middling. it’s all the same. if i have to choose between one evil and another, i prefer not to choose at all.

“pretty ballards hide bastard truths”

“As in life, it is impossible to be fully prepared for battle. Keep your sword close and keep moving.”

ciri looks so uncomfortable

bruh the woman from earlier is renfry? or whatever her name is, but she has sick design

jesus fucking christ stregabor you fucking horrible dickhead

hope she kills him

“so i keep getting told”

please tell me she kills him

thats a lot of bad guyss

this looks like such a futile battle

people keep gettting killed very quickly

ciri continues to be my fav, also she looks like she needs a hug

wow people getting cleaved

top tip: dont shout we’re losing

well shit he just got headshot, also such a shit way to die

thats really sad

wait she made it back????? how????

how tf did they get into the city

ooooh magic

geralt is so fed up at this rate

“thats sad”

dont kiss, please

please dont kiss

like seriously i cannot bear this

FUCKING DAMN IT

bouncy wall

these guys really believe in destiny huh

more people getting cleaved

woah lion thing

im going to cry

find geralt

fair enough i guess

wait they’re all drinking poison wtf

thats really sad :(

why didnt they save everyone else?????

please don’t fling yourself off the tower

oh shit he stabbed himself

oh fuck she flung herself off the tower

high speed horse chase

I CALL BULLSHIT HE DID NOT DEFLECT THAT CROSSBOW SHOT THAT WELL

BUT ALSO THE MAGIC + SWORD IS RIGHT UP MY STREET

WOW HEIGHT OF BISEXUALITY 2 HOT PEOPLE HAVING A SWORDFIGHT

guess thats the life of a witcher; an outcast

[aces-to-apples]

Just got back from Venom

And I couldn't actually live-blog because No Wi-Fi but I did keep my memo app open the entire time and here's my stream-of-consciousness:

(too long; not gonna read: i will physically fight every single critic who gave this movie a bad review)

God this is a longass opening space shot

Wow shits on fire in the first 2 min

God none of these people have fucking seen fern gully

Riz. Riz, no. That accent. Your beautiful vooooiiiiiiice.

Bitch there's a door, that's so Extra

Oh wow not new york for a change

Omg tom hardy's voice is so Ugly

This entire conversation is so Preciously Assholish

I'm glad they aren't skating over how awful people in power are

Who is that girl? Is that... Nuala?

Eddie is such a gotdamn Sub(TM)

Bruhhhhhhhh not cool. Like i know that that's some illegal and immoral shit, but that ain't cool.

Mmm wow smooth deflection, she never actually got to ask her question

"Raised by british parents" tHEN WHERE IS YOUR BEAUTIFUL ACCENT

"Fake news" om-fucking-g

Why is the Pakistani guy the bad guy and why is the Black guy the Stern Supervisor

........i mean yeah i'm with anne on this one bro

HEXUS

oh fuuuuuuuck

Took venom six damn months to get to san fran??

OH BUNNY NOOOOOO

oh em gee one damn bunny rabbit and suddenly we're moving onto people?? No fucking wonder you're being buried in lawsuits

.......you're a nice damn dude, eds

Awww plant no

Okay but that all-black suit IS pretty hot, riz

Bruh. Bruh, you're literally a billionaire, you ain't the one suffering the "war, poverty, world on the brink of collapse"

H E X U S

y'know, on second thought, goa'uld symbiotes are actually kinda preferable

"You, whoever you are, you SUCK" *cackles*

Dude, eds, not cool, leave anne alone

Okay seriously though WHO IS ANNE WHAT IS SHE FROM??

girl not putting up with your shit, eds. Respect

B r u h you haven't sold that ring yet??

Girl IT IS THE BILLIONAIRES' FAULT THAT EARTH'S FUCKED UP

Girl you ain't never done a customer service job and it S H O W S

man turn off that damn shutter noise

"Good thing i play all that assassin's creed"

Bruh you hungry af

"EDDIE" "*SQUEAL*" not great first contact

Okay okay so the one that escaped the crash is NOT venom

OKAY BUT VENOM BEING SO ANGRY AT DEAD FOOD IM HOLLERIN THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OMG

THIS IS SO FUNNY IM CRYING THE FUCKING LOBSTER

oh no mri this will mot end well

Do Not eat the dog ven

Awww dan is so nice

"Bish we hungry" bruh you so fucking weird

IM CRYING OMG VEN YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH

okay listen ven i personally give you permission to eat this dickhead neighbor

"We've all been troubled" bruh shut the fuck up

🎶why the fuck you lyin'🎶

Oh my lord carl you dick

Eds: "man my consciencs voice got real fuckin weird since i got sick"

Ven: "you're making us look bad" OMG IM CRYING VEN I LOVE YOU

"Let's bite all their heads off" Ven you're so fucking Extra i love you

"Bring me back my creature" stfu they sentient

Ven's so offended by "parasite" im love

"YOU ARE WELCOME" such a polite boy

I love how venom spends like an hour in eddie and is immediately ride or die

Man how is drake planning on explaining his goon squad's shit to the cops

Ven is a chaotic bitch i adore him

GET 'IM, VEN

mmm yeah that water's cold bad plan ven

"You are a loser, eddie" venom omg you are so bad at human talking

WHO! IS! ANNE! THIS IS KILLING ME

"The arrogance" ahhh man the face i just made at that was so Ugly

"You want up? Well why didn't you just say" such a helpful boy

"PUSSY" IM S C R E A M I N G

HONEY WE GOT A WILHELM SCREAM

"I LIKE HER. GET IN." glad we all agree, babe

Venom: talk about your feelings, loser

"AWWW THAT'S NICE" in which venom is me

White t-shit+black jacket, riz out here serving looks

Venom: "I CAN FIX IT, I CAN HEAL YOU" Me: well somebody isn't good at the whole symbiosis thing huh

YOU ARE A BILLIONAIRE, YOU CAN FIX MOST OF THE SHIT WRONG WITH THE WORLD, SHUT THE F U C K U P

"Not so tough without your friend" ummmm no shit?

"Afoot"??

Eddie Brock: a Sub and a Monsterfucker

Venom: "mmm nope anne can't come i like her too much and she squishy"

"ON MY PLANET I AM KIND OF A LOSER, TOO, LIKE YOU" "what made you REALLY change your mind" "YOU DID, EDDIE" oh em gee, what a sweet boy

riot you a punk bitch

"PRETTY MUCH ZERO" ven baby i love you

Awww venny nooooo

Four-way fight, niiiiiiiice

Annie you gotdamn genius

Carl you punk bitch

Eddie: *kicks carl off the side of the platform" me: noice

VENOM BABY N O O O O

god i wanna know what venom said to anne

"SHE HAS NO IDEA WE'RE GOING TO GET HER BACK" "YOU BELONG WITH US, ANNIE" VENOM SWEETIE I ADORE YOU

"THIS THING LOOKS DELICIOUS" I A D O R E Y O U

"TATER TOTS AND CHOCOLATE" in which venom is me again

"P A R A S I T E? ? ? APOLOGIZE!!!"

.......eninem? r e a l l y

End credits scene: um.........whomst? is this?

-

In conclusion: MEET ME IN THE PIT, CRITICS

[thechrispavon]

Xbox E3 2017 Briefing - Reaction

Xbox One X. Basically PS4 Pro's competitor. 

Just forewarning: I play on PlayStation mainly for nostalgia’s sake. I grew up with the PS1 and PS2. I’m getting used to their online services, mainly because I’m a single-player kind of gamer. That and my PS3 got yellow-lighted. My brother (who was gaming more than me at the time) switched to the X360 when it first released. Now, I have a regular PS4 while my brother has an Xbox One. 

I don't have a PS4 Pro or a 4K TV. I'm rocking the original PS4. My brother has the original Xbox One. Sooo... They'll have to lower the prices on 4K TVs with HDR for me to commit. 

I hear the One X has backwards compatibility. My brother has a lot of Xbox 360 games. 

Forza 7. My brother is a gearhead so he'll love this game. Me? Not so much. 

Oh let's show a new Porsche none of these gamers have the money to actually buy. 

4K @ 60FPS seems to be the keyword that makes these gamers cream themselves. Just saying. 

Do these professional drivers actually play Forza? 

Next title! Oh my, an FPS. Is this a sequel to a newer IP? IDK. The trailer music screams Inception. Oh, those animal monsters look nice. I can tell the visits are going to get annoying. Idk. Nice attention to detail though. Post-apocalyptic? What kind of game is this? That bigger monster reveal was underwhelming. Metro Exodus. Meh. Haven't played the first one. 

4K WORLD PREMIERE OMG Whatever. Uh? 4K Age of Empires? Oh. Another Assassin's Creed game. Whatever. AC: Origins. Apparently it's in Egypt. EPIC GAMING ADVENTURE ™. 

Xbox One X sounds like a redundant name. Like Wii U. 

QUALITY BIRD GRAPHICS ™ Not impressed. 

All of this showcasing reminds me that I need to get a new TV for my PS4 gaming. I have a pretty thick plasma TV. It contains mercury. Not good. So all this resolution talk means nothing if it doesn't fit on my TV with faded colors. I don't want anything fancy. Just 1080p with HDR probably. Nothing too big. 

Anyway, AC: Origins doesn't impress me. 

Hooray, more shooters. Ugh. Player Unknown's Battlegrounds. 

Another exclusive. Shooting and Mining? Bad voice acting. Deep Rock Galactic. 

Ok seriously fuck the guy saying Yehh at everything. 

Exclusive. Post-apocalyptic. Army? Zombies? Really? Yawn. At least be a bit creative. The animation kinda sucks. Not even fluid  So it's a tower defense thing? Cars. Boomer. Yeah, this is utter shit. This fucking trailer is so long. Pretty boring. State of Decay 2. Next. 

Exclusive. Ooh nice design. Uh what the fuck? What? Darwin Project. The Shoutcaster ruined it. 

Minecraft? Again? I thought we were over that. Next. I don't know how you make Minecraft more detailed with bigger resolution.

Japan. Hilarious. Little crazy. Fun. Oh. It's Dragon Ball. Never mind. The layout reminds me of the old DB games. Like Ultimate Battle 22 or something. (Yeah, I’m old.) But you know, updated. Like Guilty Gear or Skullgirls or Marvel vs. Capcom or something. Dragon Ball Fighter Z. Nice. 

Exclusive. Looks beautiful. MMORPG? I'd play this. Not gonna lie. Black Desert. Ok. 

Exclusive. Another post-apocalyptic. That cinematography looks nice. Wait what. Pixel characters. Wow. The Last Night. Yeah, is definitely play that. Very cyberpunk. 

Exclusive. Ok. I like quirky designs like this. Johnson Vendetti. Nice guitar lol. What the fuck is this. Lol. The Artful Escape. (Coming when it's damn ready.) Alright cool. 

Code Vein. Sick. Don't know what it is but it's anime as fuck. Bandai Namco. Oh ok. 

Sea of Thieves. Exclusive. Shared world. Yeah, but I like single player games. I'm not into the pirate scene either. Looks fun though. 

Exclusive. Oohh. Space. Tacoma. 

Exclusive. What. Fox thing. What. FEED ME SEYMOUR. *Exhausted sigh* I don't know anymore. Fart joke from an onion. Fantastic. I'm sure kids will enjoy this. Super Lucky's Tale.

Exclusive. Oh my God is this Cuphead? YES FINALLY. GIMME THIS SHIT. SEPTEMBER 29. FINALLY. I LIVE FOR THIS. 

Exclusive. TERRY CREWS? BEST THING EVER. Is this Crackdown? I liked the other ones so this is good. Crackdown 3. Good. 

ID@Xbox Game Montage Time. Let's see what looks good in about 10 seconds of footage​. Unruly Heroes. Observer. Hello Neighbor, of course. Shift. Eh, not much.  

Next few games. 

Exclusive. Stylistic. Oooh. Wow, these characters have no faces. Light and Darkness themes. This looks really nice. Ashen. 

SQUARE ENIX WORLD PREMIERE. THEY OWN MY ASS ALREADY. WHATCHU GOT, SQUARE? OH SHIT LIFE IS STRANGE 2. FUCK YES FINALLY OMG. GIMME THIS SHIT. WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW? BIG APPLAUSE FROM ME. IM IN. IM SOLD. WHAT? BEFORE THE STORM. 3 EPISODES? ONLY 3? FIRST ONE COMES OUT ON AUGUST 31. THAT'S SO SOON. YAAAS SQUARE. GIMME THIS SHIT. 

Middle Earth: Shadow of War. Alright. I don't know what other Middle Earth game I played. I think it was Shadow of Mordor. I loved it. Oh God. So much for being an optimist. Yeah I'd play this. By the way, the acting and facial capture is amazing. Brûz is funny as hell. 

Exclusive. AW SHIT. PIANO GUY. WHAT IS THAT CUTE LEMUR THING? That's a frog... and a giant spider. Nice owl. Ohhh noooooooo. Great music. Ori and the Will-o-the-Wisps. I love it. 

Hey, Sony. Where's your backwards compatibility?! YOU HAVE A GREAT LIBRARY BUT COME ON. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SUBSCRIBE TO ANOTHER SERVICE FOR BACKWARDS COMPATIBILITY. 

Your last presenter is from EA? Really? New IP. OH. BIOWARE. Anthem. Oh wow. This looks really nice. This looks pretty crazy. So is this basically BioWare's answer to Destiny? But will this have a good story? Lol they think players talk to each other like this. I'd play this. But I'll probably do it single player. 

Right now, I don’t really have an incentive to upgrade to a 4K-ready console like the Xbox One X or the PS4 Pro. Some of the games showcased at Microsoft’s Briefing looks nice. I’d probably borrow my brother’s Xbox to play exclusives like Ori and Cuphead.

[ipushedthewrongbutton]

Skyrim is such a fun game??? But also surprisingly emotional

it’s been more or less since the game came out that i played it. I don’t even know how many years but long enough for me to not remember anything but the literal first scene, so i decided, since we’re in quarantine and all, this would be the perfect time to start over and finally at least finish the main quest.  back when i first played, my english wasn’t great so i didnt understand upgrading or taking random quests from random npc’s so i mostly went along where the lil white arrows told me to go.

NOW THO, i can upgrade weapons, gear, i can actually understand alchemy and enchanting, i can do as many useless quests as i want and i have the internet at my disposal in case i was too stoopid to figure out the next step myself.

Started out great, clicked the wrong button while picking a name and so instead  of pressing the backspace button, i confirmed my male breton’s name as Prisoner, for the rest of the fucking game. He looks like a sweetheart tho who’s always confused, thin and wiry, ponytail, can’t grow a beard to save his life but he has a scar under his eye. He’s amnesiac, was arrested at the border, has no fucking clue what he was doing there.

I didn’t wanna think up a backstory, hence...

I immediately decided, fuck it, i ain’t fighting this civil war, I’m a breton, y’all nords do whatever the fuck u want. And i stayed with that. I briefly thought about choosing a side depending on whose point resonated with me more. Turns out, neither point is entirely valid. One side has no respect of history and culture, the other side is racist. So Prisoner was neutral for the entirety of the game. Neither Ulfric nor Tulius got any attention from this homie.

What did receive attention tho was the main quest and boi, i know everyone hates chosen one stories. And they’re right. But man, i love chosen one stories. And my baby boi is the dragonborn and he’s like ?????? And everyone is like “you defeat dragons and you are the hero everyone waited for” and my dude is like ????? Ok??? Sure?????? And he just goes to places and helps as many people as possible on the way. 

Fuckin, the best thing was sideplots happening BY ACCIDENT. Prisoner goes on a quest to murder a shitty orphanage keeper, goes to tell the kid who commissioned him, he feels pretty okay about it. Then he gets The Letter. “we know” with a black handprint. And the shit that left my body at that moment, could’ve started a new nation. I mean, i had a 35 damage weapon at that point and i had slain my, what, fifth dragon at that point so i wasn’t worried about dying from assassins but THE INTIMIDATION WORKED. 

LITTLE DID PRISONER KNOW that this would be the biggest emotional rollercoaster in the goddamn game, no lie. Being the chosen one, sure. Defeating dragons that will cause the apocalypse, no pressure. Become thane of a city, aight. But THEN I GET KIDNAPPED IN MY BRANDNEW HOME AND I WAKE UP IN A SHACK WITH A LIL LADY TELLING ME TO KILL ONE OF THREE PEOPLE. THE FEAR I EXPERIENCED... but then they recruited me, and they’re all really cute colourful characters and we’re assassins and we’re the black brotherhood and we kill people for a living but we’re a Family. And my baby boi character had yet to experience anything like that. Sure the greybeards are mentor-ish but Prisoner never lived up on High Hrothgar amongst the old dudes. The blades did a roadtrip thing which was fun but then they kinda just squatted in their new headquarters and sent Prisoner on his merry way. But this, they had a sleeping place and a dining hall and a lil garden and the werewolf man gave me insulting nicknames and there’s a little girl who says she’s a vampire and to this day, I’m still not sure if she was telling the tRUTH OR NOT. 

AND THEN, AND THEN, the whole emperor thing happens, right, and that’s fucking hilarious. Prisoner with a chef’s head, i was cackling like a madman. And then AND THEN, THE BETRAYAL. ASTRID SAYS there’ll be a surprise up on the lil walkway bridge thing. And then there’s no one. AND THEN THERE’S SOLDIERS TELLING ME THEY’RE AMBUSHING HQ. AND I LOST. MY. SHIT. The thing wouldn’t let me fat travel either because the soldiers kept chasing me and i thought i was gonna have to ride Shadowmere all the way to the other side of skyrim, hysteric and worried about mY FAmILy. AND THEN i arrive at hq and there’s on of them PINNED TO THE TREE and like, guys. Guys. I was crying and full on immersion, i was like “nobody leaves here alive”, it was horrific, I didn’t do any of the stealthing, i just ripped them apart with my draugr greatsword, i already leveled up to the point where i cut my enemies’ heads off, it was glorious. It was so emotional, seeing werewolf man get killed, HE GAVE ME INSULTING NICKNAMES OKAY, and then finding Nazir and then hiding in a fucking coffin with a corpse who’s then like, trying to sooth me??  it was so emotional and i was crying tears of goddamn grief, i was Prisoner and Prisoner was me. The line between fantasy and reality: gone. I had spent HOURS upon DAYS on this game at this point, there was no going back.

hoo

..

So then i killed the emperor, and the reacting of the land was “...hm?” And i killed the general captain dude personal, like, optional my ass, i was gonna murder that shithead optional or not.

So i bought a house. In whiterun. It’s called breezehome (that’s not a choice) and I instantly decided if i ever get my own place, I’m calling it breezehome. I really hesitated about getting a house, since Prisoner is a nomad and constantly on the road, plus, has a “””””home””’”’” with the blades and other places in other quests. But then i decided it takes too much frigging effort to get all my loot sold cus all the pawnbrokers are pawn broke (HAH) and i can only sell them like a few gems and that’s it. And i needed a place to store all that shit, plus, i was going nuts from my collection of keys on my person aaaaaand i needed like a drawer to chuck em all in. And so that’s what i diiiiiiid. I later got the place in solitude too to finish the thane quest there but i literally only used the mannequins in the basement for my brotherhood and nightingale outfits. Which i both have worn literally once and then i just went with my guild outfit. 46 armor is good fuckin armor and the best i owned the entire game. Added some fire resistant shoes and suddenly dragons were super easy to defeat. I also found dragonbane somewhere, i literally only used it to wack dragons when they run aground. Otherwise i switched between a bow and a greatsword, both with the power of stealing health. Glorious. I was invincible. Well, with that and the power of Strategically Running Away. 

I thought it was weird my guy never got the choice of being a leader of literally anything. I mean, thane is an honorary title so you can do whatever you want and not get shit for it, like the privileged fucks we all are, but arch-mage when i only entered the school like last week? Head of the thief’s guild after going on 2 assignments, one of them being the chasing and murdering of the previous one? Never got the choice, was just like “you’re perfect for that” and me “‘I’m LITERALLY the least qualified person im this entire province!” Also i has a flute on my person at all times, bard’s college never taught me how to play it, the bastard’s, all they did was send me on errand in dusty cAVES. AT LEAST IN ASSASSIN’S CREED YOU HAVE TO CHASE THE SHANTIES IN ORDER TO PERFORM THE SHANTIES. 

Then the husband thing.

I knew there was an option to get married and adopt. I don’t want kids, in game or out. But i am disgustingly lonely (especially after the massacre of the black brotherhood) in game or out, so i looked it up and SURE ENOUGH, SAME SEX MARRIAGE IS DELISIOUSLY LEGAL IN SKYRIM, OH BLESSED DAY. Things i learned with this: i cannot handle flirting. It was cute and Prisoner and Falkar are adorable but I CRINGE, A LOT. 

Honestly, the most i personally had with this was envisioning Prisoner finally leaving for Sovngarde (after putting it off for as long as possible) and giving his final goodbye to his brand new husband like, caressing each other’s cheeks and holding each other’s shoulders, “i promise I’ll be home again soon” “and if you don’t, i will find you in sovngarde” “keep the hearth warm while I’m gone” “keep your sword sharp, you always forget to redo the enchantments” “‘don’t neglect the companions just because you wanna housewife” just sacharine as. Fuck. They were in bed togeher the night before, just talking about useless shit and holding each other t was very PG. And then after defeating Alduin, Prisoner finds himself back in Skyrim, relieved that it’s all fucking over at long fucking last, and he climbs on Shadowmere’s back, tired, and rides back home. When he arrives in Whiterun, tired and weathered, he spots Falkar just returning from a mission, he’s also travel weary and just unlocked the door to breezehome. He spots Prisoner and Shadowmere entering through the gates. They pause, they look at each other like they’ve been apart for years instead of days. Falkar drops his back, Prisoner gets off the horse and suddenly they’re running towards each other, till they smack together and they’re just holding each other, it’s the best hug ever. 

Aaaaand that’s kinda where i left it. I have more companion missions but i physically can’t get myself to do them because i feel the story is over, there’s no point. I can also still pick which side of the civil war i wanna take but it would be extremely out of character now.  it’s weird, i feel like crying again. I invested so much time in this story and these characters with so little effort. Cus usually, writing my own stories, it takes effort to develop and build them. Here, all i had to do was make choices and kill the bad guys. And I don’t want to say goodbye even though i feel like there’s nothing more to add.

[zagreushades]

game questions: 04, 12, 31, 08 ,03

4. Who do you play with now?: i play alooone i dont really like multiplayer except overwatch i used to play with some mutuals and co workers but i also met some good people on ow who i would add n play w but im all about single player story driven games

12. Ever get picked on for liking games? no? everyone i know likes or play video games but sumtimes i get made fun of by nasty dudebros who only like call of duty hate on me for playing my games on easy or liking “kiddie games”

9. Most regrettable purchase? : so far ive liked and kept every game i bought the only one i ever sold was prey bc at the time i didnt like it but i might go back one day and finish it but i guess the only thing i regret is paying full price for a game when it eventually goes on sale later lol

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?: rn its assassins creed odyssey i got the deluxe when it first came out and that shit was $90 but i do have the last of us 2 collectors edition pre ordered so thats probably gonna be the most expensive one im also gonna pre order persona 5 royal collectors edition too its cheaper than tlou2 but its still pricey lol

3. Who did you play with as a kid?: my dad he was the guy who first introduced me to games back when the first playstaion came out