#and im really amazed and impressed by her authenticity to herself and devotion to love/live honestly

[psychedelicpharmaceutical]

I’m losing my best friend.

She’s in a relationship now, and I’m happy for for her, I really am. But it’s changed so much between us. She talks to me less. When we talk it’s almost always about her girlfriend. She’s meaner to me.

I’m not her best friend anymore, her girlfriend is. Just a few weeks ago we planned a small trip to our old college and she was so rude that I had to privately cry. She gave both her sister and I the silent treatment because we didn’t get ready fast enough in the morning. It was also high tide at the beach which meant we couldn’t swim. Eventually she snapped and started grilling us. It sucked, I hadn’t seen her in months, and when I finally did it was horrible. She hasn’t treated me like that before.

We barely spoke on the trip, I thank god her sister was there otherwise I would have had no one to talk to. After the trip she messaged me and said “the whole vacation made me realize how into my girlfriend I am”. When I asked her why, she didn’t respond.

I’ve texted her back over the past week and a half, but she hasn’t gotten back to me. But she’s been posting selfies and videos of herself on Snapchat. I know it’s not a big deal but it stings. I’m on the back-burner, but she’s still my number one.

I remember our freshman year together, when she was in another relationship. She told me she lost a lot of friends when she entered the relationship, now I’m starting to understand why.

I know she’ll keep me around, she’s not kicking me out of her life. But our interactions make me sad now. I feel like supporting cast.

Maybe this is just a weird rough patch and it’ll get better. Maybe this is the beginning of the end. I’m just really sad. I miss her a lot.