#and im likely gonna be sitting here all fucking night which tbh i dont usually do lmao

[cinnabeat]

i dont usually stretch much when drawing bc im typically not sitting drawing for long enough to warrant it but boy howdy do i need it now

[faint-frankie]

（ 11-15-2024 ） daily post? idk how often i’ll do this.

tw(s) - none. i just have a panic attack / meltdown lolllz

f; Mikey/Frankie - host

— art ; 9:20AM - 10:30AM ( 2nd period )

i'm so behind in this class 😭 im literally an artist but like i just don't pay attention alot of the time.. im trying to get back on it but idk

next period is urban conservation and i'm going crazy because my boyfriend won't be here today and that period (+ the rest of the day) is whenever i spend time with him.. AND HIS PHONE IS BROKENNNNN I MISS MY HUSBAMMDNDND (hashtag bpd struggles i want my fp)

speaking of husband our 2montths is tmrw!!! yay! im peeing with excitement like a dog cuz like 2months???? YAYYYY cant wait for marriage

uodate im not trying in art class rn. i dont care rn y’all im just gonna draw on my own. EFF ZEN TANGLES IM TOO TIRWDDDDDD DUDE 😒

my mom has no money but i want food frm the vending machinr and she doesnt let me get a job (or my permit.) so im just fucked i guess!

ok rn im lowkkey having a huuuuge fuckin panic attack like okay!!!!!!!!! awsum!!!! ahahahababababbaa. can i be okay is that an option

last night i had a dream about being in a psych ward. i’ve had them in the past, usually like a few time a year? they’re slowly getting more personal and realistic and i’m actually so scared that’s a sign.. cuz i’ve had dreams wiht meaning before that come truw :/

im so anxious im DYING!!!!!! my head hurttss... listening to misfits while crashing out is probs stupid on my end so ill chnage it.... :(

— urban c. ; 10:40AM - 11:50AM ( 3rd period )

ugh i actually camt focus :( ill probably just draw i feel lkke shit. walking frm my last class to this one wore me outtt....... :/ i got so fuckkng scared since my safe person isnt here and i kinda thought so.eone would kill me at any moment but ir hasnt happened yet.

oh thank god he went bcak over the answers.... i had no idea what was going on...

f; Khris & co; Johnnie

— lunch ; 11:50AM - 12:20PM ( approx,, )

i'm sitting at lunch with our friend rn! she's like on the phone rn,,, so i'm fucking around on my computer until next period i guesss. i think our bf is hopefully getting his phoen fixed??? god i hope so .. im stalking his location like a freak but tbh frankie showed me it because he stalks him alot... WITH HIS CONSENNTNTT

our friend rly likes andy biersack so she told me abt his tattoos... i sadly know like nothing abt black veil brides but i think its coooll

some kid is shouting abt cishet white men,,, errr like ok i get the hate but cmon. i'm not really eating at lunch im just hangin hereee

someone is talking loudly about their alters, idk how to feel abt that.

i did one assignment in the middle of lunch, its so fucking hot out im dying....FUCKKK IT WAS LIKE 37 THIS MORNNINGNGN

— asian studies ; 112:30PM - 1:45M ( 4th )

i got to class late... by like 1 min tho so its chill. i talked to my friend abt some weird shit which was interesting? im exhausted kinda. im hot but cant take off my hoodie cuz my scars :/

ughhhghghhg i have catch up work to do and suddenly im dissociating this is bullshit

f; Loretta

I'm going to be typing properly, because typing.. however that is, makes my head hurt. I'm currently trying to get some work done while keeping us calm. I want to work on our craft/practice, but school comes first. I have no idea what's happening after school, as our boyfriend cannot text and school ends soon. I'll just plan it out as best as I can in my head? I definitely need us to do laundry. It's piling up very bad.

f; mikey / frankie & co ; loretta

BO9YFRIEND HAS PHOENBBACK OGGOG BOFYRIENDNDDND

i'm so shakey and can't process noise and all that.. everything is so weird im so scared of everythint spsoososooss bruh. time to research the brobecks to soothe myself

— media ; 1:50 - 3:00PM ( last period. )

i feel absolutely horrible. i cant brwathe i reel like im going to sob amd puke i jsyt wannabgo hoke

my mom isnt answrring me like o hate her but lowkey olease acknlwlddmge im habing a panic attaxi

im aboutnto cry in class i cant takehrhjjs. im havjng flashbadks too. i justbwanna go home

im about ti leave school thank fuck. i feel awfuk and just cant think. i keep thinking abt the weird psych ward dream i had.

okay im going to ennd this journal thing here since its longnand boring and infeel like shit

if you actuallt read this, thank you:3

[nctsworld]

two nights, one you

✩‌ jaemin ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fuckboy!jaemin | strangers (who f*ck) to (brief) enemies to lovers | ‌10.9k 

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ a last-minute one night stand gone awry is extended into two nights when you’re snowed in at the cute (but rude) stranger’s apartment on christmas eve. [loosely based on the movie, two night stand] // part of the x-mas in ncity collection  GENRES ⇾ crack | smut | fluff  WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ ‌lots of bickering and dialogue, smut, oral s*x (f and m receiving), fingering, mentions of alcohol/drinking, swearing, bit of angst before the end, jaemin’s an asshole... or is he? RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ explicit TAGLIST ⇾‌ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ it’s late (and long fsldkm), srysry but here it is! i hope the humour comes out in this and look away if falls flat zzz fingers crossed that i can finish the last two installments for this collection asap! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

Maybe it’s because it’s the evening of Christmas Eve Eve and you’re feeling more lonely than usual.

Maybe it’s due to the two glasses of wine you guzzled down in the span of fifteen minutes that get you buzzed.

Maybe it’s your prominent six-month dry spell and you’re in desperate need for some much needed rain in your drought.    

Or maybe it’s just pure impulsiveness.

Regardless of the reasons, you’re aiming to get laid tonight.  

It’s 9:45pm as you make the rounds on Tinder. You’ve used it in the past, searching for a relationship in vain, but haven’t used it much since you broke up with your last partner. Bringing the app alive again, you’re already bombarded by distasteful messages, off-putting one-liners and jokes, and swiping left more than you’d like.

You haven’t had a one-night stand before, but isn’t there anyone on here that is just a little bit attractive, nearby where you are, around your age, and is somewhat chivalrous about the topic besides saying DTF? Maybe you need to lower your standards if you want to get dicked down tonight.

But then, you land on him.

One Na Jaemin, 20 years old, and only four miles away from you.

Scrolling through his profile pictures and Instagram feed, you assume that he’s into photography, is on the athletic side from the various hobbies he partakes in, and he must be at least half-aware of his beauty because there’s the occasional pic that shows off his lean, toned arms, which, if you can be frank, is more flattering than the shirtless ones you constantly see. Oh, and he attends the same university as you.

The cherry on top? His bio is simple and upfront:

“Not up for anything serious, but always down for a good time ;)”

You swipe right without hesitation.

“It’s a Match!” flashes instantly at you. Your mouth swings open in disbelief.  

Usually, you’d wait for your matches to message you and play hard-to-get, but not tonight. Tonight, you’re initiating and leading all the conversations, completely driven by your thirst.  

Messaging Jaemin is a breeze. He types with more than half a brain, and he flirts, but it isn’t overwhelming or repulsive. Segueing the current topic, you drag your bottom lip upward as you send the following message:  

so, hypothetically... if one were to have good time with you would tonight work?

Not even twenty seconds later and he replies with:

-wow, dont you go straight to the point -im impressed -but yeah -tonight works ;)

He’s quick to send his address.

-let me know when ur here and ill come get you out front!

Smacking your lips together, you squeal to yourself in the comfort of your home, excited to meet with him, but then a thought hangs over you—this feels a little too good to be true. Horrible scenarios run through your head, so your fingers dash across your phone’s keyboard:

tbh i haven’t really done this b4 so im kinda new to this is it ok if we video call or smth? gotta make sure you’re real and not a serial killer i’m sure you understand 😛

-for sure for sure -totally get it -ive had my fair share of fake girls and serial killers so i feel u 😛

Grateful for his consideration, you rush to rearrange your hair after you send him a Zoom link, hoping you look decent enough to not have him back off from his initial offer. He appears in the video call on his phone with the front-facing camera on a few seconds after you connect.

“Hi,” you chirp.

A corner of his mouth lifts. “Hey.”  

Okay, he’s definitely cuter in real-time than in his pictures.  

“You know, I’m not gonna lie, but I lowkey expected to see a dick or something,” you joke in an attempt to dispel your nervousness.  

“Same,” he chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.

Oh God, he’s not just cute—he’s devastatingly gorgeous.

“So, this is my place...”

Jaemin moves around with his apartment in the background, revealing his living room first. Envy prods you as you note the brick walls, high ceiling windows, and well-appointed furnishings.

Recalling his address, you ask, “How’d you get a place in the heart of the city?”

“Lucked out,” he shrugs. His phone shakes a bit as he’s still moving. “My friend slash roommate—who is at his girlfriend’s place tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves—his parents own the condo and they gave me a friend discount on the rent.”

He finally stands in one place and turns the light on to reveal a room. “And this is my bedroom.”

Nothing out of the ordinary. A desk table with a gaming set-up, in tow with a gamer chair, and a decently-sized bed beside a nightstand.

“Oh, and here’s my closet.” Jaemin’s on the move again as he opens his closet doors. “Just to make sure you don’t think I hide the skins of my past one-nighters in here.”

A bubbly laugh rises from you. “Okay, I didn’t think of that before, but now you’ve planted the seed in my head. Maybe you hide them in the other rooms.”

“Nah, my roommate would kill me if I did.”

Both of you laugh in unison, and you bob your head with puffed cheeks.  

“Okay, it all seems very promising. I’m going to get ready and I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, Jaemin.”

“Sounds good,” Jaemin nods, then winks. Although you’re sitting down, he’s still able to get you weak in the knees. “See you soon.”

You end the call and rush to bundle up for the snow starting to come down outside. A twenty-minute train ride later, you’re at the front door of a rustic, industrial apartment complex. After informing Jaemin you’re outside, you glance up at the snowflakes falling from the dark pink-grey sky, anticipating for what comes next.

Sex with a hot guy, what can go wrong?  

So, you must’ve jinxed it because the sex is...  

Unsatisfying. Finished faster than you’d like it to be. Sadly, overall disappointing. If you had to rate it, three out of five stars, at best.

But hey, he came, and you sort of did, and it wasn’t the worst sex you’ve ever had. It half-quenched your dry spell.

And enough happened that it tired you out, leaving you passed out in the handsome stranger’s bed until morning.

In the morning, your eyes slowly flicker, unused to the foreign, sweet scent engulfing you in your bed. Correction: Jaemin’s bed.

Your eyes flicker faster as you glance through the almost wall-sized window. The snow hasn’t let up from last night. On the contrary, it seems like it’s snowing non-stop. You groan at the thought of going home in this weather.

The bed is without Jaemin’s presence as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. 10:36AM and a few notifications greet you. You rub your eyes and start combing through them, rising upward to sit up on the bed.

“Morning. You’re finally up.”

Peering up from your device, Jaemin’s standing by the door with folded arms. His plain sweater and sweatpants match the colour of his hair. The dazzling smile he gives is so contagious, you’re not even conscious of catching one too.  

“Out you go.”

You blink.

Once, twice, and then you tilt your head as you stare blankly at him, uncertain if you heard him correctly.

After a few moments, because you’re not moving an inch, his smile dissipates and he cocks an eyebrow in expectancy. A serious expression rolls over his face.  

Suddenly, Jaemin strolls to the side of the bed and hitches his thumb towards the door.

You definitely heard him right.

And he’s dead-serious.

You replay the video call from last night, dissecting how you thought he was nice and funny and—

Realization dawns on you.

Why would you expect anything more from a two-faced fuck boy?

Still awestruck by the situation, you’re still solid as a statue, so Jaemin takes matters into his own hands and grasps you by your elbow, casually dragging you from his bed like he’s taking out the trash.  

“What the fuck?!” you screech.

“C’mon, let’s go. Out out.”

“My clothes, though!” you protest in the middle of the hallway. He sighs in frustration, scurries to the bedroom, and returns with a small pile in his arms, then continues to drag you to the front door.  

“Are you always this pleasant with your guests the morning after?” you rage, putting on the rest of your clothes by the door. “You don’t even have the decency to offer me tea or coffee?”

“This was a one-night stand, not a bed and breakfast, sunshine,” he says as he watches you put your shoes on. He’s folding his arms again and leaning against the wall, his attitude dripping with smug. If he wasn’t a stranger, you’d punch it off his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to this, huh?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you’re a borderline virgin who needs to toodle-loo, get going and gone because you’re overstaying your welcome as we speak.”

Finishing putting on your coat, you’re fuming as your jaw hangs at the personal jab over your skills in bed. Jaemin swings the door open and shoves you through it.

“But I’ll admit, it was still nice having sex with you!” he chimes with a sickening grin and a hand on the door.  

“Aw, thanks asshole, wish I could say the same,” you sarcastically reply, resting a palm upon your chest.  

He scoffs. “From what I heard last night, I think I can confidently say that you had a great time.”

Flashbacks replay in your mind of your screaming fest from underneath him. Little did Jaemin actually know—

“You know, for someone who I assume has many one-night stands,” you spit with squinted eyes. “I’m surprised you can’t tell when girls fake it.”

You must’ve hit a sore spot because he grinds his teeth and you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

Oh yeah, you’re definitely the winner in this fight.

“Okay, you know what, Merry Christmas and fuck you. Have a great life!”

“Fuck you, dickface. Wishing you a miserable Christmas!”

With a bitter smile, you flip him off as he slams the door in your face.

Carrying a basket filled with dirty clothes, Jaemin’s on the way down to the laundry room in the basement of his apartment with his shoulder scrunched up, squeezing his phone to his ear.

“Bro, she had the audacity to say that I didn’t make her come when she was screaming my God damn ear off—”

As he steps down the short flight of stairs and passes by the foyer area by the main entrance to the building, he notices you’re still here.

“Shit, uh, Jeno,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”

He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and calls out to you as he strides closer. “Are you resorting to stalking me by my front door now?”

With crossed arms, you peer over your shoulder, eyes full of bitterness.

“Like I wanna be anywhere near you right now,” you grumble. You jerk your head towards the thick, wooden door. “It’s jammed from the snow.”

The laundry carrier shakes his head and places the basket onto the floor. “A little snow never hurt anyone. You’re probably just too weak.”

Stepping aside and holding out an arm, you signal for him to give it a try.

Jaemin twists the handle and, lo and behold, it doesn’t open. His forehead crinkles as he tries again and again, using more force each time.

Glancing through one of the partially frosted windows adjacent to the sides of the door, he notices the snow has piled enormously high, almost to the height of his chest.

“Well, shit.”  

Reluctantly, Jaemin brings you back to his apartment. You’re technically his guest and if he left you in the foyer to freeze, trouble would surely come his way, whether it be in the form of his landlords (also known as his roommate’s parents) or the police.

Without a word, he settles a spoon in a bowl, a carton of milk, and a box of cereal onto the small kitchen table.

At first, you stare at it venomously in rejection, thinking you can easily last a day without any hand-outs from this son of a bitch, but your stomach roars ferociously three seconds later.

As you chew across from him, you enjoy the company of your phone over him, while he does the same but with a cup of coffee in hand.

After finishing your food, you adamantly place your phone down and lean back into the chair, boring holes into his head.

“Why are you such an asshole?” you seethe observantly.

“Why are you such a bitch?” he retorts, not pulling his gaze away from his phone.

“Because you started it,” you say slowly, stating the obvious.

“No, you.”

You sigh defeatedly at his childish behaviour. The weather apps predict the snow will (hopefully) die down by tomorrow morning, thus you’re officially stuck with him for the next twenty-four hours or so. Your hands rake through your hair.

“Whether we like it or not, the snow isn’t going away until tomorrow. Merry Christmas Eve to us, I guess.”

He’s still glued to his phone. You exhale another sigh.

“Since we’re not getting out of this until then, can we just...” You soften your voice. “Start over?”

His eyes are still on the screen, but from the way his shoulders tense and how he stops scrolling, you know he’s considering your proposition.

“At least call a stalemate over this.” You drift your hand in the air, gesturing between you and him.

Blowing out air and shaking his head, he rests his phone onto the table.

“Fine.”

He crosses his arms, imitating you, and the two of you sit there, staring at each other in a long silence.  

One minute, to be exact.

You’re the one to break the silence game by running your hands over your face, letting out a hybrid of a groan and laugh.

“God, the fact that we had sex makes this kinda awkward, huh?”

Jaemin’s exterior melts slightly, letting out a snicker. He shrugs, “Then let’s just pretend that we didn’t have sex.”

“We can’t just pretend that we didn’t have sex,” you say, holding two upturned palms near your face.

“We did it, it’s done. I’ve seen your penis, you kicked me out, and you labelled me a prude—” You dart a finger towards him. “—which I am far from, by the way. All of those are pretty huge things.”

One of the corners of his mouth raises high. “Are you saying my penis is huge?”

“No, the implication of said penis is huge. Wipe that smirk off your face.”

He stretches an arm, holding an imaginary microphone to your face. “Do you deny that my penis is huge?”

Rolling your eyes, you swat his fist away. “What am I, on trial here?”

“Do you plead the fifth then?”

Annoyed, you roll your eyes again. Why do you get the feeling that you’re probably going to be doing this a lot more today? Another feeling tells you that if you don’t answer his question, he’ll probably pester you until you do.

You tilt your head side to side. “It’s... decently sized.”

“Bigger or smaller than average?”

“Perfect...” His eyes light up. “...ly average.” And a frown rolls over.

He squints his eyes accusingly at your sneer. “Are you lying like you did before about faking it?”

You scoff. “I wasn’t lying about faking it, and I’m not lying now about your average sized dick.”

Jaemin releases a disgruntled grumble and lifts his cup to his face. You notice he likes to take his coffee black and bitter, presumably like his heart.

“So, Miss I’m-Not-A-Prude-and-I’ve-Definitely-Had-Sex-Before.” His eyebrows perk up on the word definitely. “What’s your story? Why the last minute one-night stand?”

Shrugging your shoulders to your ears, you reply, “Haven’t had sex in a while.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?” he asks mid-sip.

“Half a year ago,” you respond nonchalantly, perching your chin into your palms.

Jaemin immediately chokes, almost spraying the coffee through his nose.

“Half a year?!” he gasps. It takes him a few hits to his chest to dispel the coughing. “Six months?!”

“Wow, you can count!” you exclaim in a condescending tone. You change the position of your hands so that your chin is now atop of the back of your curled fingers and tilt your head. “Can you also spell?”

“As a premed student, I can assure you that I am capable of doing both,” he says with a slight strain due to the coughing fit. The humble brag brings on another eye roll. Of course he’s a premed student with the attitude he wears.

“It’s just—” He clears his throat and swallows the last bit of coffee stuck in his windpipe. “—The last time I had a dry spell was for like, a month, tops.”

So the fuckboy gets laid way more on the daily than you expect. You’re torn between being envious over how much action he gets in comparison to you, or remorseful, since you’re now just one of the many notches on his bedpost.

No matter, sarcasm is always the best defence mechanism.

“Good for you, Jaemin. I’m sure you’re very proud of that.”

There’s an awkward beat. His head hangs for a moment while his thumbs stroke the sides of his cup. A strange pinch of guilt occurs. Did you overstep an unspoken line? But then he drags himself back to reality in a heartbeat.

Jaemin brings the cup to his mouth again, mumbling, “At least the sex on your part makes more sense now; you’re rusty as fuck.”

Completely aware of what he said, you trash your guilt entirely and narrow your eyes. “What did you just say?”

Following a long sip, he hums, “Mmm, nothing.” Soon after, he stands up with his cup.

“I’m gonna go game now. Feel free to watch Netflix on the TV and stay in the living room.”

As if you had anywhere else to go...  

He begins to walk towards his room as you mutter under your breath, “I’m not a dog.”

“Says the bitch,” he pipes up, taking you by surprise.  

“Thought we had a stalemate?!” you shout, leaning your head forward as you watch him entering his room.  

“Doesn’t mean we’re on peaceful terms!” he sing-shouts.

The flinging of the closed door echoes throughout the apartment.

Regret surges through you. You just had to choose a fuckboy fluent in assholery and end up incidentally being isolated with him during a snow storm on Christmas Eve.

You wonder if you can handle being around him for the next twenty-four hours without killing him first.

During the afternoon, you’re on the living room couch, playing a show as mostly background noise while you’re on your phone. At one point, your phone unsurprisingly begins to die and you tread over to Jaemin’s door to ask for a charger and if you can also take a shower. He’s still annoyed by your existence, but at least he hands you a charger and lets you know where the extra towels are.

Stepping into the living room with the towel in your hand as you dry your hair off, you peer out the large living room window and see nothing but white engulfing the streets and buildings as far as the eye can see.

You pray the snow will eventually stop as soon as possible so you can head back home.

By the middle of the afternoon, Jaemin emerges from his bedroom and shocks you by plopping down on the opposite end of the living room couch from where you’re sitting.

“Bored?” you ask, eyes fixated on the TV screen.

“Nope,” he replies, popping the p as he says it. His slings his arm around the top of the couch.

“Gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something.” Turning away from the screen, he faces you and motions circles with his hand. “You’ve got a little crazy in you, I can feel it.”

You quickly glance over at him, but try to refocus on the TV. “Need I remind you that you’re the crazy one, dragging me out of the apartment right as I woke up.”

That compels him to turn his whole body towards you. “Well, you’re the one who wanted a last-minute one-night stand.”

You match his stance. “As if I’m the first girl in your bed to stay in the morning?”

“Actually, yeah.” He aggressively tilts his head to one side. “Most girls leave before I even get up. The other percentage don’t fight me when I ask for them to go, so it looks like you’re the odd one out.”  

You press your lips together, refusing to admit that maybe he has a point, under the assumption that he’s telling the truth.

Jaemin twists his body back to the screen and adds, “I make it very clear on my profile that I don’t do morning afters, sweetheart.”

And you agree that his profile is clear about his intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can condone his shitty behaviour.

“Well, sorry that I expected just an ounce of respect instead of getting kicked to the curb after you stuck your dick in me,” you grumble, shifting back to the show and crossing your arms.

“Morning afters lead to attachments, and attachments lead to feelings, and feelings lead to relationships,” he says the string of words clinically, as if it’s a mantra that he lives by.

Your eyebrows knit together as you whip your head towards him once more, studying him.

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

Deliberately averting your gaze, Jaemin grates his tongue between his teeth, a slight tsk audibly heard, and his chin juts out. There’s definitely a story behind his ways. He huffs and changes the subject.  

“Seriously?” He holds a hand out. “You’re watching this trashy show?”

Squinting your eyes at him, you could probably interrogate him further, but you decide otherwise.  

“It may be trashy,” you concur, looking at the TV. “But it’s my trashy comfort show.”

Following an over-the-top acted out scene between the show’s main love interests, Jaemin shoots up from the couch.

“Yeah, no, I can’t handle this. Can we either put on something else or game or something?”

“Why don’t you go back to your room to game, Mr. I’m-Not-Bored?”

“Like I said, I gotta keep an eye on you,” he says while bending over in front of the TV, already setting up the Playstation. He tosses you a controller as he strides to his side of the couch again.

He mumbles to himself, “Need to make sure you don’t go crazy from the lack of human interaction.”

Either Jaemin is selfish and only looking out for himself, or he wants to make sure you’re not feeling lonely in a stranger’s home.

Likely the first reason, you deduce—because why would a guy like Jaemin care about a mere one-night stand?

Admittedly, you’re not the best at games, especially at fighting ones. You can comprehend the move lists, but you like to live by button smashing the controller and repeating moves over and over.  

So it’s hilarious when you beat Jaemin every round with your surprisingly fruitful technique.

“Okay, this is bullshit,” Jaemin complains, sticking his tongue out in irritation. His ass is currently being handed to him on a plate again since you’re almost done killing his character off. “You must be lying to me; you have to be a pro player or some shit.”

Jaemin’s health bar is dangerously low as your character jabs his with a sword. He winces out loud and you snicker.

“Why do you think I always lie about everything?! Dude, you have serious trust issues,” you joke before you steal the opportunity to slice his character. One more hit and he’s done for.

“I do not! I just—nooo!”

You rise to your feet and pump your arms in the air, turning in circles in joy over yet another win.

Sulking, Jaemin eyes your little dance from his end on the couch, but as he watches you more, a feeling balloons in his chest. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Finally coming down from your post-win high, you spot an emerging grin from the corner of your eye, making you pause.    

“What?” you eye him suspiciously.

Your suspicion pops the sensation in his chest and, like a fish out of water, his eyes widen and his grin melts away.

“Nothing, uhm.” He ruffles his eyebrows and palms the back of his neck, quickly facing the TV. “Let’s go one more round and then we can switch to another game—”

Suddenly, the TV and surrounding lights switch off. Both of you waver your eyes, anticipating for them to come back on, but they unfortunately don’t.  

Jaemin rushes over to the window. When he swivels his head towards you, his face darkens.

“Looks like it’s at least the whole block. The streetlights are out too.”

Without another word, he dashes to the linen closet and brings back several blankets. He calmly explains that there won’t be heat since it’s connected to the electricity, so it’d be best to keep warm with the extra layers.

Not wanting to scare you, he doesn’t add the fact that due to the huge windows in the apartment, more unnecessary cold air will come in, but you’re already cognizant of it from your own logic and since the remaining heat dissolves rapidly.

You groan and retreat into the massive blanket over your shoulders, turtling your head.

You can’t believe you’re going to fucking die in this asshole’s apartment on Christmas Eve.

On the ends of the couch in your makeshift blanket jackets, both of you attend to your phones for a while.

From what people and the news outlets are saying, it’s not just the block, but the whole city grid is out. You frantically text your friends, giving updates on how you are and half-jokingly telling them that you’re going to die with your dreadful one-night stand. Some time passes and Jaemin tosses his phone  off to one side.  

“Well, since there’s nothing else to do and we should probably conserve our phone batteries—” You glance up at him from your phone and pout. Slowly nodding in agreement, you toss it aside too. “—why don’t we play a game of ‘I’ll-Give-You-Pointers-on-How-to-be-Better-in-Bed’?”

A smile burgeons on his irritatingly handsome face and your eyes roll. At this point, you wonder if the reaction is conditioned into you. “It’ll be my early Christmas gift to you.”

“Wow, so thoughtful, how could I ever thank you?” You drag the blanket closer to your chest in false gratitude.

You think for a serious moment if you really want to go through with this. Hearing Jaemin run his mouth on you unwarranted is already painful, but to give him the go-ahead to do so? Especially criticizing your skills in bed?  

You blow out a sigh, noting the slightly visible cloud. You’re grateful Jaemin has thick, downy blankets.  

Well, if you’re going to die, may as well know what went wrong, right?

“Fine, but if we’re playing this game, we have to say everything honestly and take the criticism we get.” You point a stern finger. “No rebuttals, just acceptance.”

“Wait.” Jaemin crinkles his face in genuine confusion as his hand peeks out from his blanket.

“You have things to criticize about me in bed?”

Your lips tremble before you burst into laughter. Displeasure is on Jaemin’s tight-lipped face as you laugh for a while, almost keeling over in your blanket ball onto the hardwood floor. “How conceited are you, oh, my fucking God?”

He slices his hand through the air. “I’ve never had any complaints—”

“Because you’re too busy focusing on your own orgasm, you selfish dickwad,” you say as your laughter dies down.  

He sits in his snit for a few more moments until he gets over it.

“Fine, fine,” he huffs. Jaemin knows he’s not going to enjoy this, but he’s the one who suggested it. He can’t back out now. “Let’s just get this over with, you go first.”

With your blanket held by your chest, you hop off your end of the couch and shuffle over in front of him where he’s seated. Beaming, you begin.

“Let’s start with foreplay.” Jaemin’s eyes light up with confidence, thinking he’s at least decent with that. You crush his expression as your lips purse and you shake your head.

“Non-existent.”

“What do you mean?! I kissed you as you took off your clothes.”

You stick your free hand out from your blanket, extending your index finger.

“One: you only kissed my lips. You know, there are other parts of me to kiss, like, I don’t know, my neck, my arms, my shoulders.”

You extend another finger. “And, two: it’s weird to not help someone take off their clothes. Like you’re in a super rush to get somewhere or something—”

“We’re fucking!” he cuts in sharply. “This is a one-night stand, not a relationship.”

Closing your eyes and dropping your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh in exaggeration.

“Thought we agreed no rebuttals...” you softly sing-say.  

Jaemin’s head sinks a little into his blanket. “Sorry.”

Removing your hand, you shrug. “Maybe there’s some rule that I don’t know about one-night stands, so this could be on me.”

You start to aimlessly tread back and forth in front of him, dragging the blanket along too. “But fuck, foreplay is foreplay for a reason. You work your way up to the heat of the moment and it makes sex much better, regardless if you’re in a relationship with the person or not.”

“Next point.” You stop walking and direct your focus on him. Pointing your finger and looking him dead in the eye, you ask, “Do you know what a vagina is?”

He snorts with a simper. “Uhhh, is this a rhetorical question?”

“No, I’m legit asking,” you say with a raised eyebrow and snarky smile. “Because when you went down on me, all you flicked your tongue at was the outside of it, also called the labia if you didn’t know.”

“I’m premed, of course I—”

“Which is great! But you didn’t go any deeper nor did you go near my clit.”

You thrust your finger again. “Do you also know what that is?”

“Yes...” he groans with the flickering eyelids.

You swipe your arm through the air. “Maybe make use of it, and not only when you go down on girls. Even during sex, touching it is great.”

“And lastly,” you continue. “I’ll be honest here, you have a decent dick.”

Jaemin waggles his finger. “So you were lying before—”

“I wasn’t lying,” you retort firmly. “But anyways, you’ve got the stuff, but why don’t you put it to better use?”

With the following words, you attempt to gesture with your body and execute moves as graphic visuals. Jaemin giggles at the sight.

“Vary the speeds and the angle, don’t just slam it in me and go crazy fast from the get-go. Build up to the climax. Jesus, I couldn’t even get close to coming because you’re like a jackhammer from start to finish.”

When you finally finish, Jaemin’s giggles morph into hollow laughs. Frustration is blatant on your face, pondering if he even absorbed a single word you said.  

After he calms down, he asks, “Are you done?”

You mumble, “Yeah, I think so.”

The two of you switch places. He shuffles onto his feet with his blanket while you sit back on the couch.

Jaemin pulls the blanket across the floor as he ambles. “Okay, your head game is decent—”

“Excuse you, my head game is strong.”

“Uh-uh, rebuttal,” he points out.  

You sigh. Pinching your fingers together, you drag the invisible zipper across your mouth, then wave your hand, allowing him to resume.

“Your head game is decent. You definitely can deepthroat, but—” He mirrors you from before and extends his index finger.

“One: this happened only a few times, but your teeth scraped against my dick, which is why I assumed you were a borderline virgin.”

You fume silently at the accusation, attempting to not speak up with a heap of rebuttals. But he wasn’t wrong—if you teethed on his dick, that’s a classic virgin move.

“But that’s okay, because we already established that you’re just rusty.” Jaemin flashes you a fake comforting smile as he continues to pace. You flash him one back.

“And two—” He holds another finger out. “Don’t be scared to use your hands and stroke me. Give my dick some love. If it’s too wet, just wipe your hands on the bed or something.”

“Okay, duly noted,” you hum. “Next.”

“Don’t be scared to touch me.”

“I touched you so much during—”

He shoots you a glare. You roll your mouth inward, your lips disappearing instantly.

“Your hands were mostly on the sheets, which is hot, but guys like to be felt up too.”

The attractive individual peers up for a second, thinking to himself. “Even hotter when a girl feels herself up during the fucking, but that’s beside the point. Baby steps, just remember to touch the other person.”

Jaemin does a full-stop and faces you.

“And just... don’t fake it.” Distress is evident in his pout. You hate to admit it, but it’s a little cute. He raises an arm and jerks it in the air. “Why do girls fake it?”

“Because guys with egos like you can’t handle criticism,” you reply bluntly.  

“What are we doing, having this conversation, hm?”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it didn’t snow in and keep us here together.” You peel a hand away and gesture to the window. “If I walked out of here this morning, you would’ve just fucked the next girl the same.”

He defends himself, “Faking it just feeds our egos.”

“Yeah, well, if I told you afterwards that I didn’t come, what would you do?”

“Try to make you come in other ways?”

Shaking your head, you scoff. “Guys like you aren’t that considerate.”

“You’re right.” He assents, holding his pointer finger against his chest. “Because guys like me aim to please.”

A brilliant thought leaps in his mind and Jaemin gasps. You can only assume bad things from the wicked smile he sends your way.  

“Why don’t we try it again?”

Perplexed, you squint at him.

“Try what again...?”

“Sex,” he says enthusiastically.

You blankly stare at him.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” you deadpan.

“I mean, there’s nothing else to do and it’ll keep us warm.” 

You continue to stare at him until you groan.

“Oh, my God...” Your blanket droops a bit off your shoulders as you drag your palms across your face. “I cannot believe I’m stuck in this snowstorm with you out of all people...”

Sitting next to you, Jaemin persistently reasons with you. “Think of it also as another learning experience for the future partners we’ll have.”

“Yeah, if we don’t die first!” you shriek.

“We’re not going to die,” Jaemin replies in a mocking tone and a dart of his tongue.  

Outside the window, the snow seems to have slowed down, but not by much.  

God, Jaemin better be fucking right because you want to live to see another day.  

“Fine,” you mutter and match his gaze. “But we have to be vocal throughout the whole thing. Say whatever’s on our mind.”

“Fine,” he agrees to your terms. He produces the same wicked smile again. “But can we film it then? So we can study it after?”

You fire him a death glare that melts his face off, even in the frigid atmosphere.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says, waving his hand.

They say that jokes are half-meant true, but you think Jaemin fully meant it. Still in your blanket jackets, Jaemin snags your free hand and leads you to his room.

“You gotta give me credit for trying, though.”

“No.” You shake your head with an unwilling smile creeping on the edge of your lips. On second thought, maybe the joke was a little funny, but you still stand by your opinion that he’s the most annoying person in the world. “I don’t think I will.”

“Thank God Chenle has so many scented candles...”

On the edge of Jaemin’s bed, huddled by the blanket, you watch him light up several large jars, placing them on his nightstand and desk in hopes to brighten the room. It’s already late afternoon, but one could mistaken it for nighttime with the muddy sky due to the snow.

“Is Chenle your roommate?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin answers with a slight shiver, igniting the last candle near the bedside. He removed his blanket when he went to nab the matches and candles. “His girlfriend gets free ones from work, so she always gives him a shit ton, even though he never uses them.”

With a glowing hue against his face, he blows out the match. He makes his way to you, a cocky grin plastered on him, as he says, “Guess we’re making use of them now, though.”

Before you can even respond, Jaemin gets right down to business—sitting beside you on the mattress, he palms your face and drags you in for a kiss. You softly yelp, but immediately reciprocate.

The cover falls off your body as you reach to touch him, fingers drifting over his solid arms.

You don’t want to stroke his large ego, and maybe it’s because you haven’t had anyone else on you in a while, but Jaemin’s kisses are something else.

The cushiony pair of lips always executes enough pressure against your mouth, increasing and decreasing on command in perfect tandem and timing. His hands hover over your waist and the nape of your neck, fingers sinking into your hot skin.  

His mouth trails downward the side of your neck. You crane your head back, indulging in his caresses as soft moans trickle out.

He gently signals for you to recline back and lay onto the mattress, moving the sea of blankets aside. Inclined on his elbow, almost atop of you, his cool fingers glide under your top layers, his thumb stroking against your stomach.

Pulling away from your body, he tugs on the ends of your clothes. You rise from the bed to better the angle for him to discard of them.

The hairs on your skin are standing on end from the frigid air, but you’re too focused on Jaemin’s mouth migrating over your upper arm and your bra-covered chest to care. Without notice, he stuffs a cup of the bra to one side and takes your bosom into his mouth.

Air’s seized from your lungs and your core contracts from the pleasure. Your fingers tug on Jaemin’s luscious locks and his free hand squeezes your unoccupied breast.    

After a few twirls of his tongue and a gentle drawing of his teeth on the pointed tip, he mumbles hotly into your chest while he thumbs your other nipple, “Foreplay still non-existent?”

“It’s better, I guess,” you sigh with fluttering eyes. His chuckling reverberates against your cleavage, a sign of amusement from your obstinacy. A gasp pierces the room as Jaemin repeats his actions onto the other breast.

He aids you in taking off the rest of your clothes and, obviously aware of your goosebumps and shuddering, tells you to get underneath the blankets while he strips himself.

Under the toasty ocean of layers, despite how both of you are bare-boned and how easy it is to jump into the main act, Jaemin purposefully continues to prolong the foreplay. Side by side, your lips meld endlessly; your legs and hands are intertwined in an amorous pretzel.

Jaemin ensures he doesn’t leave any part of you untouched—the pads of fingers virtually graze over every inch of your body. Each grip and drag of his digits sends you in a frenzy. Your chest is pressed into him and your eyes are blinded with desire.

In the back of your mind, you think about how you were right about foreplay working up to the heat of the moment—literally, because you’re dripping, he’s hard, and you two have embraced so much that you don’t need the blankets anymore.  

On the other hand, you wonder if Jaemin was right about skipping foreplay, because with every whisper of each other’s name, the intimacy rises immensely. You don’t know him, and neither him with you, but you’re both freely drowning in one another in a plane beyond the lust.

Although the room’s beginning to smell of a mix of all the scented candles, Jaemin hones in and drinks in your sweet aroma and your entirety behind his hazy eyes and already tousled hair. All of a sudden, one drag of his fingers over a particular sensitive spot on your body makes you giggle.

“I’m ticklish over there.”

“You mean right—” He drums his fingers over the area again. “—here?”

With a toothy grin, he generates more suffering from you and you begin to lively howl. Soon enough, you beg him to stop.

“You’re such an asshat, c’mon, let me live!”

When he ceases, his head hangs over yours and your gazes connect.

The same feeling blooms in his chest from before in the living room.

He gulps as his eyes waver over your face, unknowingly tracing your beautiful features and etching them into his memory.

Your starry eyes. Your glowing aura. Your everything.

You barely register the change in his expression because he quickly tramples on his moment of weakness by kissing you passionately.

Jaemin whips the blankets aside as he lowers himself between your legs. Your eyes are fixated on him, matching his stare, until he starts to devour you by swiping against your lustrous folds. Your back bows, and, following a few more licks, Jaemin makes a point of his knowledge of the vagina by spreading your lips and ravishing your pussy, tongue penetrating deeply.

Rippled moans release in harmony with your undulating chest. You swear you’re getting more wet, too wet, likely making it overwhelming for Jaemin, but he’s eagerly lapping every drop up.  

“How’s that?” he inquires with a grin, hovering over your trembling nether lips. His mouth is evidently glossy, even under the dim lighting.

“Good,” you pant in the most nonchalant tone you can muster up. “Very good-ahhh—”

Jaemin kindly interrupts you by tonguing your clit as he fingers your sex deeply, shattering your fake indifference.

“Move your tongue up more,” you direct, creasing your eyebrows in despair. He follows your direction, and droning moans ensue.

Jaemin’s immersed in your pleasure, but also adding to his own. The more he laps up your wetness, the more he grinds his length against the bed, aching to be inside of you.

Your desire pulses faster, contracting tighter against his fingers, body winding tensely by the second.

“Fuck, Jaemin,” you whine, leaning your head to one side with a parted mouth. “I’m close.”

He draws back and temporarily replaces his tongue with his thumb.

“Good,” he pants, cocking his head to one side. His eyes are filled with determination. “Because I’m not stopping until you come at least two more times tonight.”

You exhale a light laugh. “That’s ambiti-ohgodohgod—”

His tongue works wonders on your clit once more, so much that he has to brace your bucking hips.

Okay, maybe Jaemin did learn a thing or two and actually listened to what you said during your critique.

But now it’s time to demonstrate to him what you’ve learned.

You don’t need much of a break to catch your breath, nor do you want to immediately freeze due to inactivity, so you pull Jaemin in for an intense kiss, tongue dipping into the remnants of your own nectar, then beckon for him to take your former place on the bed.

Perched on the bottom of your feet, you’re on one side of Jaemin, lackadaisically fisting his prominence. After a few strokes, you gradually swallow his inches, keeping in mind to relax your jaw and to not rush in order to avoid any potential teething. You do this to prove yourself worthy of giving head, but also in spite, because you absolutely do not need Jaemin to brand you a virgin again.  

You read his quiet groans and his long fingers running lazily through your hair as a positive sign and advance further.

Carefully, you rest your tongue beneath the underside of his cock and bob your head, licking him until he’s sopping with your saliva. His grip in your hair grows in strength as his length reaches the end of your throat, his groans becoming more and more drawn-out.

A needy whimper leaves him as you suddenly withdraw. Dribbles of your spit follow, and you wipe it off with the back of your hand.  

“How am I doing?” you glow in a pant, lazily stroking the doused shaft.

He simply nods with half-lidded eyes, barely able to look at you. “Yeah.”

You snicker at him in his breathless position, a prickle of pride running through your spine over the fact that you blew his mind as much as you blew his dick.

“Use your words, Jaemin.”

Teasingly, your fingers curl around his blunt head, soothing the sensitive tip and sending jolts throughout him.

“Fuck—” he pulls his bottom lip upward. “Awesome. You’re doing awesome.”

“Anything to critique?”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head restlessly. You revel a bit more in having the upper hand on him a little while longer. You grip him tighter and hasten your speed, leaving him gasping for air.

“Am I still rusty?”

“Nope, nope,” he croaks, voice rising to a whine. “Definitely not rusty.”

“You sure?” His cockiness has transferred over to you.

“Yes, yes—fuck, slow down, please,” Jaemin begs.    

Granting his wish, you abate your rhythm and free his inches from your touch.

You wipe your hands on the sides of the bed while Jaemin rummages through the drawer of his nightstand and hastily rolls over the rubber over himself before he prepares to enter the body beneath his.  

Recalling your advice, Jaemin mindfully starts off slow. You sigh blissfully in sync to his thrusts. He adjust himself, attempting another angle, and you draw in air between your teeth.

“There, there—“

Jaemin’s quick-witted and keeps at it, plunging a bit more vigorously. Out of habit, your hands grasp onto the bedsheets, but you wittingly attach them to his frame. Hands grazing his neck, his firm pecs, and his taut muscles.  

“Touch-touch my stomach,” he orders in a hush.

You hands follow through and feel up the flexed valley of his abs. Feeling up evolves into desperate gripping and even the slight dragging of your nails.

“Your abs are so fucking hot,” you state thoughtlessly, eyes eating up the view alongside his cock disappearing in and out of you. “Jesus, fuck.”

“Yeah?” he rasps with that devilish smirk of his. God, you want to smack it off him, but not right now—not when you’re reaching euphoria. “You’re not just saying that?”

Oh, you’ve definitely stroked his ego now, but there’s no turning back. Truth spills from you on a whim.

“You’re a fucking masterpiece,” you gasp acutely.

You’re starting to wither away, yet, as if they have a life of their own, your hands drift away from him and find a new home atop your breasts.

“You make me feel so good, Jaemin...”

Jaemin’s eyes go wide. His mouth hangs at the lewdness of you touching yourself.

“Fuck, holy shit.”

His gaze doesn’t leave your ecstatic face or humming body for a second as you knead your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers. Your back arches further when Jaemin deepens his sweet, fulfilling thrusts. He’s holding himself back, not wanting to end this beautiful deed just yet.

The stimulation bursts over your body, both from your own doing and Jaemin’s.  

You plead, “Faster, please, faster.”

And he complies, but he also rubs your bundle of nerves, causing a tight knot in you to build up and your shallow moans transform into heavy screams. You clasp onto his back and claw at the protruding shoulder blades.  

“I’m-I’m—”

You clench, both with your core and your nails digging into him, but Jaemin’s unrelenting, capturing your second peak for the evening.

Instead of coming after you, he shockingly veers lower and closer to you and curbs his pace.

“Was that real?”

You respond with an exhausted nod. Oddly, the smile he shows this time isn’t arrogant, but warm and teetering the line of tenderness. His lips fuse with yours before they stray towards your neck. The passion stews as he sucks your tits, all the while lunging laxly into you.  

With an obscene pop!, Jaemin removes himself from your nubs.

“Ready for the last round?”

His fast thrusts, hitting you precisely in the best spot, cloud your already weakened logic, deterring you from making any response.    

Perspiration is blatant on both individuals. For him, his forehead glistens gorgeously with his damp hair. For you, the back of your bent knees are gluing together. Your bodies are about to pass out, but you both persevere until the end.

As you convulse and perish together in beautiful agony, coincidentally enough, the bulbs in the room and in the streets leap to radiance.

Together, you collapse onto the bed side by side, panting heavily and laughing.

“Told you we weren’t going to die.”

You turn your head to see Jaemin looking at you with a cheeky grin. In retaliation, you stick your tongue out.

By nighttime, it’s finally stopped snowing outside. However, the streets won’t be cleared until morning, at the very least.

But... you’re surprisingly okay with that.

In a turn of events, the sex inexplicably makes the two of you warm up to each other. There still is targeted banter and tension between you, lingering from before, but it’s less hostile and more playful.

During a fancy Christmas Eve dinner of microwavable pizzas, you poke fun at each other’s majors and discuss your respective hobbies in depth, especially his love for photography. Jaemin even asks if he can take a picture of you, claiming that the kitchen lighting actually looks nice on someone for once.  

“Is that how you collect the memory of your one-night stands? Instead of hanging their skins in your closet, you sweet-talk your way and keep all the photos of them?” you joke, referring to the video call from yesterday night. It feels like an eternity ago, but snowstorms tend to do that.

He chuckles behind the camera as he snaps a photo of you scrunching your face cutely.

“Yeah, but you’re the first one who has clothes on,” he says, glancing down at the photo on the camera roll.  

“Ugh, gross,” you cringe and take a sip of tea.

Jaemin doesn’t add anything further. He leaves out the fact that he never keeps any traces of his one-night stands, that you’re the first girl he’s taken a picture of in a while.  

After a few hours of more talking and even some gaming with one another, sleep is much needed. Jaemin offers an extra toothbrush and a sweater and pair of sweats to sleep in. You’re facing each other on his bed, noses almost touching.  

“It’s been a while since I haven’t had sex with a girl before I slept next to them,” he whispers, adjusting himself comfortably. The side of his face rests on his piled hands. “It’s kinda nice.”

You cover your mouth as you yawn, then lay your hand back under your head, reflecting the same position as Jaemin.

“You know, it might be my sleepiness talking, but maybe you’re not the worst person in the world to be stuck with during a snowstorm.”

A lovely chuckle echoes in your ear. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”

After a few moments, your eyes are fluttering to a close until he softly calls out your name.

“Hm?” you stir awake, but not by much.

“Do you...?”

Jaemin doesn’t know what’s gotten to him, doesn’t quite understand why the defences he built for so long are crumbling down in only a day of knowing you.  

And yet, something urges him to give it a chance.

Blowing out a shaky sigh, he anxiously intertwines his fingers with yours. You hum softly at the action and a small smile blooms on your face.

“Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

“Hm?” His question doesn’t take you aback as much as you would be if you were fully awake. But even in your drowsy state, you have quips in hand. “Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, wants to go on a date?”

“Yeah,” he replies gently, brushing your loose hair out of your face.

Another yawn. “I thought you said you don’t want feelings and relationships and all that shit.”

His fingers trace your pretty jawline and shrugs. “One date doesn’t mean we’re going to be in a relationship, I’m sure you know that.”

You pause for a good two seconds, but the two seconds feel like forever for Jaemin.

“Mmm, fine. One date, just one.” You barely hold up your pointer finger. “And only because it’s Christmas tomorrow. ‘Tis the season to be giving...”

Relief washes over Jaemin in the form of a smile. Embracing the blatant feeling in his chest this time, he plants a light kiss on your nose and wishes you sweet dreams, even though you’ve already fallen soundly asleep.  

Sunlight pours over your eyes on Christmas morning.

Déjà vu peculiarly creeps up on you, but the only thing that’s the same as yesterday is waking up in Jaemin’s bed.

He’s next to you this time, deep in his peaceful slumber, instead of waiting for you to leave by his doorframe. The snow has finally stopped, and you think you hear the faint noises of snow plows outside. You inhale deeply and also notice the faded aroma from all the scented candles from last night.

The scenes of yesterday flicker across your mind. The incredible sex. The talking. The dinner. The interlocking of his fingers with yours.

The date he asked you out on.

You stare at him, watching him sleep with a sense of content.

Turning your body, you routinely check your phone, which is charging beside his. You have a slew of Merry Christmas texts from several chats and a few private messages from your friends.

Your attention falls on Jaemin’s phone when it lights up with a notification, likely texts from his friends and family too.

But that’s not what you’re focusing on.

Your heart sinks at the sight of his lockscreen.

It’s a picture of him and a girl kissing.

A twinge emerges in your chest and twists harder and harder.

Jaemin being a fuckboy, you can respect. People can do whatever they want with their lives.

But to cheat?

That’s unforgivable, and a true sin if there ever was one.

You scramble to dash out of there, careful not to make any noises in fear of waking Jaemin up. However, Jaemin’s sensitive to the sounds of the front door, so he rouses awake. His eyes flit open, noticing how you’re gone. He then sees his phone blowing up and adds two and two together.

With his phone in hand, Jaemin rushes to get on a coat and stuffs his feet into his boots, not giving a shit that he’s wearing his thin pajamas in the coldness. He’s bounding down the flight of stairs and onto the bright, white wonderland of the streets.

He swivels his head and catches sight of you almost past down the block, slowly trekking through the thick snow. Jaemin sprints, as much as he can, and hops towards you.  

He yells your name, making others on the street turn, but you don’t. You continue forward without looking back.

“Wait! I can explain!”

You’re trying to gain speed, but cardio isn’t your friend. Thankfully for Jaemin, it’s a close friend for him.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Jaemin,” you grunt, hearing the rapid crunching of his shoes coming closer. “Get lost.”

“No, listen to me for a second.”

The boyish man grasps you by the arm and turns you around. You throw his arm away from you and he holds his hands in the air, letting you know that he respects your space. He drops his hands and sees that you’re seething, even worse than you were when he kicked you out yesterday.

“How are you going to explain your lockscreen with you kissing your fucking girlfriend?! Hm?”

“Ex,” he pants in clarification. “Ex-girlfriend.”

Your eyebrows mesh together in utter confusion.

“Okay? That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that you’re still hung up on your ex.”

Jaemin shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair. You note the large clouds he exhales and how he’s barely wearing any clothes. A tinge of sympathy passes through you, wanting to give him some of your clothes for extra layers, but you smother that quickly in your state of rage.  

“I’m not hung up on her. Remember you asked me yesterday why I don’t want girls to stay the next morning?”

You cock your head impatiently, as if saying, “Yeah.”

“Well, I don’t want to attach myself to girls. I can’t. I...”

He lowers his head to one side. Shutting his eyes, a long puff emits from his mouth.

“She cheated on me.”

The snow plows in the distance can’t compare to the pumping of your heart in your ears. All the feelings you felt in the last day, but especially in the last fifteen minutes, jumble together in your head, making you feel uneasy and unsure of what to exactly feel or comprehend of the situation.  

But you do know one thing, despite the fact that you two barely know each other, the pained look on his face is real—that this is the untold story behind his ways.  

Jaemin lifts his head and holds out his phone for emphasis. “The lockscreen serves as a constant reminder that dating and feelings will and can fuck me up.”

Carefully, he steps a little closer to you and slowly cups your face in his shaking hands. You don’t pull away nor is there the same anger from moments before, so he daintily runs his thumbs over your cheeks.

“Until you showed me yesterday that maybe I’m willing to give it all another shot. Risk it all for fuck knows what, but you make it look like it’s worth it.”

He continues his ramble after adjusting some of your hair from the ongoing breeze.

“Sure, it’s Christmas today, but I don’t want you to say yes to going on a date with me just because it is. I want you to say yes because maybe you like spending time with me just as much as I like to spend it with you.”

You’re completely disoriented—your eyes are shifting everywhere but his eyes and your lips are quivering with no words coming out. He sighs understandingly. 

“Look, I know you’re probably having second thoughts and you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think on it for as much time as you need, but I want you to know that I genuinely like you and I want to go on an actual date with you.”

He peels his hand away from your face and raises it into the air as if taking an oath.

“I, Na Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, will devote to monogamy once again if it means I can date you.”

His hands grab yours, kisses the back of them, and then he presses one kiss onto your icy cheek prior to walking away.

“Merry Christmas,” he says with a sad smile. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

Later that evening at your large family’s Christmas party, you take another dreadful gulp of your wine.

It’s the happy holiday season, but why does everyone feel the need to stick their nose in your dating life? Well, really, a lack there of.

“Why are you still single?” Layers of their voices resound the same question in your head. You take another swig.

Potential unsaid answers that you kept to yourself fly around as you swish the drink in your glass.  

Because you choose to be.

Okay, not really, but it’s the easiest answer.  

Because you haven’t found the right guy to get you back in the game.

What does that even mean? What makes the right guy even right?

The right guy? It’s someone who makes you laugh, someone who gives as good as they can take it, someone who wants you just as much as you do.

The cogs move in your head as you take one more sip before you finally come to the conclusion—  

Because you didn��t find the right guy until last night.

Despite the mess of today and yesterday morning, you realize that Jaemin is... actually sort of sweet. Annoying, yes, but he keeps you on your toes. It’s a plus that he’s easy on the eyes, but it’s a bigger plus that he’s even easier to talk to.

And if he can find it in his scorched heart to trust you, you can find it in your heart to trust him too.  

You quickly say your good-byes to your family and let them know you have other plans with friends tonight.

As the Uber rolls up to his apartment building, you realize you probably should’ve messaged him on Tinder, but it’s worth a shot to see if he’s home. Anyways, impulsiveness is a controlling entity, as evident from your Christmas Eve Eve’s adventure.

And in retrospect, perhaps Jaemin was the perfect pick of the crop after all.  

Someone’s entering the building and lets you in behind them. You take the stairs two at a time and hear booming music coming from his floor. At first, you assume it’s from other apartments, but it’s all coming from one—his.

Without a thought, your knuckle taps the door.  

A handsome figure that’s definitely not Jaemin opens the door. Behind him, you see a group of young men scattered around the living room, and some have a few girls tucked under their arms.

The man eyes you up and down with a spark in his eye. He’s not Jaemin, but he surely reminds you of him.

“And who might you be?” he asks.

“Who’s at the door, Jeno?” An unknown male voice hollers in a high pitch from the couch. He’s one of the guys with a girl attached to him.

You blink. “Uhm, I’m—”

“She’s with me!” Jaemin shoves the flirty stranger aside and tugs you by your wrist, making headway to his bedroom. He flips the light switch on and the door clicks shut.

“What are you doing h—”

You cut him off with a kiss.

An innocent one, at first, with hints of alcohol on each other’s lips. Your arms wrap around the other and the passion increases with the mingling of your tongues, each party tasting and confirming the specific drinks you both consumed tonight.  

Jaemin forces himself to pull away and presses his forehead against yours. “Did you just come all the way here to kiss me, or...?”

“Maybe I came over to ask... if I can stay with you for another night?” you playfully ask, fingers intertwining behind the nape of his neck.  

He chuckles heartily. His fingers sink into the sides of your waist. “Is my dick that great? The sex with me that amazing?”

“Mmm, that’s definitely a benefit,” you agree, fluttering your nose against his. “But I want more than that—“ You poke a finger to his chest. “—I want the man behind the dick.”

Your gazes converge, bringing you together as one.

“I want to go on that date with you. I want you, Jaemin.”

He flashes a megawatt smile that could compete with a million Christmas lights, but it fades suddenly and you’re unsure why he seems like he’s about to bawl his eyes out.

“That’s so beautiful, I might cry.” He brings a finger to his eye, pretending to shed a tear.

Oh, yeah—you’re definitely going to need to hire someone to constantly shove your eyeballs back into your sockets if you’re going to date Jaemin.

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper, yanking him in for another kiss.

Three dates later, including a memorable New Year’s Eve, you finally decide to rid of the Tinder app for good.

With his arm around you on his living room couch, Jaemin glances over your shoulder.

“Really? You’re finally deleting your Tinder?”

You snort in disbelief. “That’s gold, coming from the King of Tinder himself. When did you delete?”

He turns to face the television and shrugs coolly.

“Maybe I didn’t.”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” you nod, eyes still on your phone.

“Nah, I’m kidding, I did.”    

You sharply turn your head.

“No way. When?” you press with narrow eyes.  

A shy smile emerges on Jaemin’s face as he picks his pants over his thighs.

“On the night of Christmas Eve, after you agreed to go on a date with me.”

[sscoutregimentss]

I was gonna make a request based on your Eren x Gamer Reader post but then I saw you take poly requests... Erejean x Gamer Reader? (She/her pronouns btw ^_^)

sure thing anon! your brain is huge. i started a one shot which is now sitting in my drafts bc i literally dont know how to finish it. maybe i'll post it later but for now here you go headcanons woohoo

eren and jeans dynamic makes it look like its impossible for them to share a girlfriend but it actually? works surprisingly well?

arguing is kinda their love language in a very strange weird way. if theyre not fighting somethings wrong but their like constant bickering actually is rlly important to you three's relationship lmfaooo a lot of communicating is just eren and jean fighting and then you pick up on something they say and you three talk it out. plus its gets all their energy out at the end of the day... like when puppies run around in circles bc they didnt go on long enough walks

jean is the planner of the couple, always making sure you guys get tickets to see this that and whatever, always figures out how ur gonna get places and when everyone will be picked up, makes sure everyones schedules are free and that theres no big game release that you'll miss and eren doesnt have work and jean isnt volunteering

in terms of nerdiness jean is a decent middle ground between you (who says "ummm actually..." unironically) and eren (who thought dungeons and dragons was a kinky thing) because he lives with connie so he gets roped into playing stuff like rainbow six seige and watching battlestar galactica into late hours of the night. also he's an only child who was prone to boredom as a kid so he played video games like any other only child. that being said he has a more extroverted personality and aptitude for sports so he just never got as absorbed in it as you did

this kind of makes eren jealous tbh because he thinks jean has more to relate with you then him. but jealousy is like a natural feeling and despite his feigned reluctance jean is happy to share his knowledge with him.

plus eren realizes that what he lacks in video game and movie knowledge he makes up in anime bc jean is clueless on that front. once you went on this huge rant about how sailor moon would decimate goku in a fight and jean just goes "gokus the pirate with the fox spirit, right? hes trying to become number one pro hero right?"

speaking of eren eren and jean are on the same volleyball team (i hc they play volleyball bc theyre tall but i think theyd be cute on any sports team because im weak hearted) and you become their fave cheerleader <3 they look for you in the stands before each game and have their own little ritual for good luck. when he spots you jean jumps really high (despite the team captain, levi screams at him to save it for when the game starts) and makes a heart with his arms and blows you a kiss when he gets in the air and its so embarrassing so eren just dogpiles the embarassment but giving you an over exaggerated wink its the worst theyre gross

jean gets you into connie's discord server after you complain that people are really rude to you in online games and eren is quick to demand an invite too even though he literally plays nothing and has no idea how discord works. he will log in and ping you to show you a meme and even though connie's server is really chill with rules (like 10 ppl max, just some friends hanging out) he has always wanted to say "no memes in general" so he does it every time. you have to show eren how to use private messages once connie jokes abt eren being his discord kitten.

cuddle pile while watching movies... jean is a film buff so you three have movie nights rlly often. its usually you sandwiched in between them with jean behind you and eren in front of you so you can play with his hair. jean's movie taste is actually really broad and you and eren both find a ton of new favorites through him.

they both really like listening to you ramble. you can explain soooo much lore abt your fave series and theyre both really invested. eren is more invested in the characters while jean is more focused on what happens next, but theyre both listening rlly well and making sure you know they care. they kinda care in different ways though? while eren is just passionate and because he's so passionate he must know about all things you like, jean is either interested or just likes hearing your voice. of the two jean is more likely to give you short answers and he'll be more dozed off so he's good to go to when you just want to rant. eren is going to ask you more questions and get wayyy more confused so he's good to go to when you want to explain or flesh out your points.

jean finds eren's jealousy of fictional characters sooooo ridiculous. whenever eren is pouting about some new video game guy youre in love with jean is rolling his eyes because of course its eren jaeger he's just looking for things to get angry at. "what are they gonna do idiot, come out of the tv?" but then one day there's a character that looks a lot like eren and suddenly he understands everything. but he realizes you have a thing for guys with long hair. he'll keep the mullet around for a while

they both really like having you sat in their laps and (unbeknownst to you) in order to avoid conflict they created a system. cozy game? eren. reading? jean. watching anime? eren. watching something live action? jean. playing a game on your phone? eren. watching an analysis video for your favorite franchise? jean. just messing around on your computer? rock paper scissors, best of three. eren likes to hug you tight and rest his head on your shoulder while talking to you. when it gets quiet he'll nuzzle his face in your neck and give you small kisses there. while jean likes to put his hands under your shirt and rest it on your stomach while you two chat. he's puts his head on your head or throws it back depending on your height and kinda just likes letting his hands wander, like rubbing up and down your arms or tickling you lightly.

you: i hate this stupid game

eren: yeah babe that game fucking sucks (has never played it in his life)

jean: then stop playing it?

you and eren, at the same time: what? no.

all in all they are good boyfriends 10/10 would recommend.

[outropeace]

elotito tagged me on this so i’m gonna do it for her <33333

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

i began to write in general since i was around 14 like any other emo kid kdjdjsks and o began to write fics when a friend asked me for one as a birthday present. it was written in a hurry and it’s not my favorite but i really enjoyed doing it. i posted that exact same fic on their birthday

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

it depends the fic i guess. and not really, i think the closest i’ve been to do that is in the rockstar au (coming to the @bottomlouisficfest very soon), i put one or two of my old insecurities in h so he could connect better and wouldn’t be persieved as just an asshole-y dude cause i don’t like that and louis don’t deserve that uwu🌸

3. where do you often find inspiration?

music, movies, tiktoks (DONT JUDGE KDKDKS)

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

before the quarantine i had around 3 wips, now i have 8

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

i listen lofi youtube playlists shjdkld

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

me repeating “Oh...” over and over again through tall my fics, it shouldn’t be legal

7. describe your ideal writing setup

rainy day, good coffee, comfy sweater, my cat besides me, arely sending texts about teeth/imessage games, snacks

8. favorite time of day to write?

nights (it’s usually when i have time)

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

i’d LOVE to write a thriller

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

i just leave the fic for a bit, i don’t really like to push myself about this cause i’m just doing it for fun

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

the easiest is the dialogues, i could write pages and pages of just dialogues in hours and the hardest is the smut dhjdd

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

it depends, is the antagonist? i ask myself how’d i feel if i were them, like a third party just trying (and usually failing) to get in between

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

i like “wet” i just... yeah.... and least favorite i don’t really know tbh

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

i like that people conect with the characters because i always put a lot of effort in making them realistic (as much as i can), i make them flawled and sometimes even messy but with good hearts and intentions, all of them are (even the antagonists). and my grammar OH MY GOD MY GRAMMAR

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

hands down the ice prince fic. and funny thing is, i already had my prompt for the fic fest but i just couldn’t stop thinking about one particular prompt about a bratty prince and an alpha who hated omegas and the amount of POSSIBILITIES that had. two days later or so, the mods of the fest gave us the opportunity to pick another prompt if we wanted and the rest is HISTORY

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

11 and single

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

baby do we have TIME FOR THIS ONE?

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, always 100000000%

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

angst, sadness, anguish, sorrow, jealousy, i love to hurt hearts. and it’s not an emotion but after they get together it’s really difficult to me to actually keep going (oh god dkdkdkkdd)

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

that that’s okay to fuck up, that no matter the circumstances you have to respect your partner and TALK WITH THEM and that a person can be successful, independent and a badass while being soft and a c*mslut

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

i think “write whatever you like, you’re not being paid for it anyways” is the best and only advise i’ve actually listened to

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

it’s complicated cause my two favorites are abos and idk how that would work dkskkss but the ice prince and the alpha/alpha fic

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically but i have a document apart where i write everything that comes to my mind at the moment, that one is A MESS

24. how do you handle criticism?

i think good, if it’s respectful

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

trust yourself, have fun

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

ANY type of positive feedback makes my day tbh

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

none tbh dkdkks and louis, obviously

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

about my stories, i love when people just come to rant to me about certain things the characters did and ask me why they did it

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it relaxes me a lot. i just can write for hours and hours and it just feels nice and in some way exciting

30. why do you write?

refer to question 29 kdkdkxk

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

from the exes to lovers au:

The second hiccup of the night came in the form of his ex smiling to a boy sitting next to him on a couch. The boy had gorgeous, dark and wild hair, clear hazel eyes and a pretty pouty mouth. Their body language screamed attraction and that they both were ready to devour each other. Louis was familiar to the smile Harry was giving to him, bright and seductive, ready to give anything you asked for.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

right now i’m very excited for the happiest season au, my “cliche story” au and for my exes to lovers au dksks i’m excited about a lot of my wips i’m so sorryjdjd

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

from the alpha/alpha au:

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

favorite first line from the sugar baby au:

Powerful people only end up with powerful people. The rest are just playthings in their lives. Louis Tomlinson was many things, but he wasn’t anybody’s plaything.

favorite last line from the ice prince fic:

“Who would have guessed…” Harry whispered after a while, smiling against Louis’ lips. “the dragon finally got to keep the princess.”

5a. link the last fic you read

HAYLEY’S MASTERPIECE

6a. link the last work you published

that’d be the ice prince fic

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

hereee

8a. someone that inspires you

louis teheeee

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

god, again, there’s so so many of them, like the amount of authors i’m so grateful for, the list is infinite but these are a few that comes to my mind

all elote’s (@defencelesst) fics makes me really really happy and never fails to give me a cozy/wintery feeling, her louis IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND HER HARRY IS JUST PERFECTION, i’m in love with her descriptions and how she just takes you THERE. hanis @loulicate-recs always makes me smile so fucking hard. ris @falsegoodnight fics NOW.... well.... ris fics they make me smile but also make me want to throw my phone to the other side of the room BEST OF BOTH WORLD IG. MAR’S FICS (loubellies on twitter, idk their @ here i’m sORRY) ARE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AT THE MOMENT, such a pretty louis IM SO IN LOVE WITH MAR’S LOUIS ITS UNFAIR

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

omg i’m probably so late to this and idk how many of you have actually done this so here goes nothing @allwaswell16, @runaway-train-works, @greenfeelings, @kingsofeverything, @thepolourryexpress, @larents

[happikattwuzheere]

the one where gansey befriends a deer: the au

hey remember that time ronan dreamed up a deer that was described with language suspiciously similar to how adam’s described, because i sure do!!! anyway

OK.

ok. so. this au’s actually evolved a lot since its initial already-pretty-fleshed-out inception one sleepless night, so me talking about it’s gonna be more than one post, but here’s the first one well actually the second technically yesterday’s warmup doodles were also from this au but i didnt talk about it at all so

and I’m gonna start with more or less the same pitch I gave to a couple people on discord

SO. starting out: it’s standard fantasy times, vaguely medieval but no specific time period because I don’t care enough to be digging into that quite frankly, but it is somewhere in England where this is happening. Story starts with just Gansey, Ronan, and Noah. Fey are very real and known entities and there’s been a conflict in England between the fey and humans, if not in the whole country then at least in the lands that the Ganseys are the lords of but probably the whole island tbh, and Gansey’s not inherited the lands yet but he’s going to and wants to maybe find a peaceful resolution to the conflict. It’s not open warfare by any means but it’s been a big problem. 

To the effect of solving that, he heads to some little village that I haven’t named but it’s right next to a known fey forest called Cabeswater. This village has avoided being stomped by the local fey because, despite witches not being particularly liked by the nobility of the time, there’s a big old coven (the psychics of Fox Way, essentially) situated right by this village that’s kept things in check. Gansey’s made his excuses to his parents about why he’s officially going there but really he wants to talk to the witches and get a better grasp of the conflict from the people actually dealing with it.  He and Ronan set out from home together, pick up Noah along the way--who is not a ghost in this AU, he’s a fey who owes Gansey a life debt, that’s a whole other post and THIS post is mostly about gansey and adam--but anyway they get to this village and NOBODY gives gansey the time of day. 

the witches don’t let him into their house because they don’t like the nobility right back thanks and the next time he tries to visit Cabeswater won’t even let him get to the coven’s dwelling, the one witch’s daughter who regularly stops by the village for supplies and to check if anyone needs anything has a big argument with him the first time he talks to her so that’s going nowhere, and, well, the villagers are polite, but they clearly don’t take him seriously. He’s just the lordling playing at things and potentially meddling in their business to them.

So he starts hanging out just barely within Cabeswater, even though he knows that’s not wise, because he finds this perfect spot by a stream, and he’ll sit out there and think and work on the journal he keeps of all his thoughts and plans, and one day while he’s there has a straight up Disney princess experience when a deer stops by the stream and seems incredibly unafraid of him. he cherishes the experience but accepts that it probably won’t happen again.

and then it does. several times. gansey’s losing his mind. this deer??? apparently likes listening to him info dump?? it’s very therapeutic and also very magical and he’s amazed 

a few times in, he names the deer “Pryderi” after a character from a welsh legend, because “such a handsome creature deserves a princely name,” [[muffled blue laughing and whispering “princely” in the distance]], and he tells ronan and noah about this experience but ronan doesn’t believe him at ALL. 

one time after gansey’s particularly upset at how bad his attempts at getting along with the villagers, Pryderi actually lets Gansey touch him for the first time and gansey cannot shut up about it to ronan who’s finally like “i think you’re bullshitting me about this deer thing. im coming with you next time” and gansey’s like “well he’s a deer he might not show up if a stranger’s around and he doesn’t come every time i go down there anyway” and ronan’s like “this sounds like a lot of excuses, dick, you’re not making me believe you any more with this” and gansey’s like “>8\” 

but pryderi does show up, and gansey is delighted, and ronan stares really hard at him and then goes 

and gansey’s like what? nooo. but ronan keeps arguing it for the duration of the visit and the deer actually starts to look annoyed and at the end ganseys like ok maybe but i doubt it. and then hes like “well since you are a fey apparently (/sarcasm) i ought to say farewell with respect” and bows very mockingly and then the deer makes direct eye contact with ronan and bows back and gansey loses his shit

gansey continues meeting up with pryderi but even while his infodumping still happens it does so now with the knowledge that He Does Actually Understand What Im Saying, he may be a fey but he seems like a friendly one and hey that’s way more than gansey thought he would get out here, and also this deer is his friend now thanks, 

he, ronan, and noah (who’s amused by Pryderi but keeps his main thoughts to himself for now) make some excursions into cabeswater, but the thing is noah’s not really native to england, he’s from the european mainland, again i’ll get to it in another post sometime, but. he can sort of help navigate cabeswater but not all THAT well so they get lost a couple times, and every time it does happen pryderi shows up and helps guide them out. there’s some very funny moments of a very jealous ronan getting into weird conflict w/ a very smug deer 

anyWAY one day there’s like a festival, everyone’s drunk because its the middle ages and there’s not really a drinking age, gansey’s making another effort to make friends with anyone, and this one guy about his own age is like “ok look here i’ll teach you the folk dance everyone’s doing ok?” and gansey spends the night dancing w/ a handsome stranger, yes he will recognize the irony in the morning, but for now it goes. well badly because they’re both drunk but it’s fun, and then the guy says “ah, fuck it, i’ll finish teaching you next time we see each other” and gansey’s like “thats a little forward but ok!” and the guy (adam. its adam) panics and leaves while gansey’s back is turned and gansey doesn’t remember that last snippet of conversation the next day nor can he quite recall the stranger’s face. ronan does, because he was watching and not sure which of the two he was jealous of, but neither of them has any idea who the guy actually was. 

and then like, 3 days later, gansey falls asleep at the spot he usually hangs out in in cabeswater and wakes up in the early evening just in time to hear people yelling and for Pryderi to burst into view with an arrow in his flank. he collapses in a bush. gansey snaps into “protect friend” mode and gets the hunters off his trail by being all “oh a strange buck? i saw it pass that way over there friend!” and then when they’re gone he comes back and is all “alright pryderi they’re gone, let me just--” except pryderi’s not a deer anymore. it’s a boy. 

(Adam. its adam. the deer is adam.) 

gansey takes him home, gets the arrow out, noah’s like “i mean he’s not a fey, i dont know what turning into a deer is about but if he were fey the iron in that arrow would already have him dead. he might be partially fey but so little that he’s human in the ways that really matter”, over the next couple days they figure out that pryderi is in fact from the village and is a young man named adam parrish who’s been labelled a changeling and is assumed dead since he was yknow shot, gansey decides for now its probably best to keep him that way, but adam’s not getting better--apparently even having had the arrow in him as briefly as he did has poisoned him, he’s desperately ill and on the third day is finally like “get persephone” so gansey tries again (he’s tried several times over these days, they’d worked out that to have survived this long he must have someone else with a small degree of fey blood teaching him the ropes and the most likely suspects are the witches, but he’s hoping adam specifically asking him to will grant him permission enough to go in) and runs into a very frantic blue en route who as soon as he makes it clear he’s got adam is like “move your ass over on that horse im climbing on too” 

they get persephone, who turns into a fox rather than a deer, she saves adam, everythings cool except adam’s pissy now because he cant go back to the village and he has to give up on the attempts he had in the works to get out of town by working his way out and he takes it out on gansey who doesnt deserve it because this friendship is a mess, he’ll feel bad and take it back eventually but thats yet more posts ANYWAY YEAH theres our starting point 

(also worth noting: due to cabeswater being Right There,  p much everyone in this village actually has a small degree of fey blood, adam just won the genetic lottery) 

tl;dr adam’s a fey-blooded witch’s apprentice and he’s been the deer the whole time and thats the start of this au ty for coming to this ramble 

[icracra]

here are some thoughts i had while i was ~smoking~

love is such a fucked up thing. dont get me its cool and there are times where you swear nothing could feel better than looking at that person, but thats literally such a small part of love. 

love is not beautiful. its painful and dark and tbh sometimes i would rather never feel love again than have to keep feeling my chest get tight and my heart wretch, and know that the only thing that makes it better is talking to the one that made me feel like that. 

i think that may be the hardest part. its like running out of a burning building because its falling apart, and you cant breathe, but everything you love, everything that makes you who you are, is in that building. so you run back inside and you try to protect what you can, but my body can only cover so much and im certainly not stronger than a building. even though i know my fate in to crumble and be nothing but ruble, i sit there protecting my favorite things because im getting burned and it hurts so much, but it will hurt more if those things are gone. 

how do i think thats love? probably bc its not the first time i felt this and i know what heartbreak looks like, but this is different. i’ve never written about it. i dont know how to live without them. ive convinced myself i cant and when the deepest points in my life happen i run to them. 

they are some of the deepest points to me. he is some of my deepest, darkest, most painful or numb points. i hate saying that aloud. i hate saying that to anyone because of the “advice” they try to judgmentally to give, even though i never asked. 

i almost just lit my hair on fire. not on purpose, dont report me. 

i usually do this until i cant feel the sinking feeling in my chest. which in retrospect i could see being a problem, but this is my safe space so let me be an angsty, depressed young adult with crippling anxiety. im doing my best. im kinda doing my best. 

i think im good. but i ~greened out~ the other night so im also trying to avoid that. im gonna go sit under my star projector and put my lavender oil in the diffuser so im all calm before bed. 

[solasan]

otp tag.

tagged by @masonsfreckles​​ and @impossible-rat-babies​​ and like definitely also someone else but my activity is super clogged up so i cant find who I’m Sorry 🥺 but thank u remus and owen mwah tagging: @denerims​​ @arlathen​​ @lvllns​​ @trvelyans​​ @lavellane​​ @chuckhansen​​ @rosebarsoap​​​ @cheydinhaal​​ @darksprawn​​ @deepspeech​​ @yennefre​​ and anyone else who wants to do it tbh

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

i mean both, probably? they’re both very passionate people

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

i’ll hesitantly say june but i dont think they’d reach that point

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither lmao

who trashes the house?

in day-to-day life, june; she’s very messy. in fights? neither bcos that’s messed up. the Most that’ll happen is adam cracking a piece of furniture in his fist by accident

do either of them get physical?

uhhh they’ll spar from time to time, but outside of that, never

how often do they argue/disagree?

in the beginning?? all the fucking time. every day. they butt heads like they were made to do it. further in, they argue much less, especially once june’s proved adam’s whole “humans are weak!!!” thing wrong

who is the first to apologize?

adam gets bullied into it by nate sometimes. june won’t apologise unless she’s absolutely certain she’s in the wrong, but it does happen. so i guess it depends on the argument

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

i hate applying the top/bottom thing to m/f ships but adam’s A Top i guess. june is 100% a bottom. but when it comes to actual positioning they’ll change; adam likes missionary a lot, but june likes sitting in his lap and riding him, so

any kinks?

adam is lowkey lowkey very lowkey into orgasm control/denial im calling it. he just likes taking control, but not in an explicit bdsm sense??? june’s into dirty talk and does have a praise kink. she has to coax adam into talking in the beginning but when he gets into the swing of things he loves it

june used to be into getting tied up, but the whole murphy situation kinda fucked that for her

who has the strangest desires?

june probably wins this just purely based on the fact that she wants adam to bite her lmao. he would find that strange. but he would also be into it so

who’s dominant in bed?

adam !!! again not in the traditional like bdsm dominant sense but he takes charge of things

is head ever in the equation?

uhhh, yeah ??? all the time

if so, who is better at performing it?

look. june is very good. she is. but adam has 900 years on her and also more enthusiasm / touch starvation / desperation. adam is a pussy eating KING

ever had sex in public?

the most public they’ve gotten is fucking in the tech lab at the warehouse, that’s it

who moans the most?

both moan, but june’s louder. she’s freer ??? with it ??? but adam grunts and gasps and pants a lot, and when he’s abt to come he’ll groan out her name or a french curse so

who leaves the most marks?

june’s the one that goes out of her way to make marks, just bcos shes a lil sad they fade so quickly. adam leaves the most just bcos june doesn’t heal in the same way

who is the more experienced of the two?

adam might be 900 years old but we all know he’s not had many relationships. june’s more experienced bcos she has one-night stands in college before her and bobby got together

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

im so sorry but if u look at adam du mortain and think that he doesn’t make love 99% of the time, ur wrong. but sometimes they do get super passionate / desperate for each other, and then they’ll fuck

how long do they usually last?

in the beginning adam lasts like 2 seconds, no joke. that man sees even a hint of june’s coochie and he busts a nut. but further in he can last longer. unless june is being a shit and deliberately trying to get him to come, which she does do

rough or soft?

soft for the most part. if it ever is rough it’s like..... more bcos it’s intense, passionate, less bcos either of them is trying to make it rough. june has some sexual trauma too so really rough sex, like w choking for example, is out of the question (not that i think adam is into choking anyway)

is protection used?

it should be, and when they remember to they do use it. but also they forget a lot shdkshdkd does june look like the type of person to get pregnant on purpose??

does it ever get boring?

nah they keep it fresh. plus they love each other so much it’s just always so good to have each other ???? like after So Long Pining it’s just good idk bro shdjsjdk

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

idk probably the tech lab like i said above ??? i dont think they fuck in many weird places — not bcos i dont think june would be into it, but more bcos i figure if they ever start getting freaky adam gets them into a bed / somewhere private STAT

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children / do they have children?

yeah they vaguely want them in the future i guess. adam thinks abt june having his baby and has to lie down he 🥺 so hard

if so, how many children do they want/have?

their first kid — emma — is an accident born like a year after they get married, and then oliver comes along a year after that because june always said she didn’t want only one kid. she remembered how lonely she was as a kid :(((

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

both of them !!! adam is touch-starved and june is starved for affection !!! they cuddle all the time

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

june 100% no question. WHORE. adam is so done with her but he does always drag her off somewhere to Ravish her so rly who’s winning here

who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

shdkshdkskd both of them. june slightly more so tho

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

uhhh i dont think it’s rly a matter of one getting uncomfortable, bcos they do love it. probably it’s just as long as they can hold out before 1) june has to pee, or 2) adam resolves to be productive

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

adam would never admit it but he loves watching movies with june purely bcos she gets so cuddly and ALSO she gets so into them. she’s the type of person to yell at the screen and ask questions all the time. sometimes they’ll compete to see who can work out the plot / twist / mystery of a film first 

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

in bed !!!!! adam loves having her whole body pressed up against him, all small and soft and smelling like june, and june loves how he tucks her into his chest and makes her feel so safe and warm

SLEEPING.

who snores?

ahskhkdja june !!!

if both do, who snores the loudest?

adam doesn’t snore so june. but she doesn’t do it that loudly

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed !!!! it’s adam’s way of making sure june does actually go to bed, for one, but also he doesn’t like to sleep without her

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

cozy up together !!!!! adam’ll kiss her hair and tuck her head under his chin, and june’ll wrap her arms around his torso and kiss the hollow of his throat

what do they wear to bed?

june wears raggedy old band tees or oversized hoodies, boxer shorts, lots of comfy clothes. flannel pyjama trousers. sometimes she’ll sleep in adam’s shirts bcos they smell like him and she likes that, but when she does sleep in adam’s shirts they uhhh haha dont sleep for a while ;)))

are either of them insomniacs?

june is !!! i think around book 4, maybe 5, someone’s gonna talk her into seeing someone abt it — because she really doesn’t sleep a healthy amount, i’m talking 5-8 hours a week — and she’ll start taking sleeping pills, but for now she just drinks a fuckload of coffee and keeps herself busy.

adam’s not rly an insomniac per se, but he doesn’t sleep as much as humans do, obviously

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

later in the series, yeah. i could see her being put on quetiapine bcos that’s what im on and that shit works

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

wrap their limbs around each other !!!! june’s like a cuddly octopus shdksjdl but adam loves it, honestly. he’ll often wrap his arms around her and put on of his hands up her shirt, over her spine, so he can have some nice skin-on-skin contact. yknow....... as a treat

who wakes up with bed hair?

both !!!! june’s is probably a bit worse bcos it’s longer ????

who wakes up first?

eh, depends. i’d say adam, bcos he’s More Responsible, but june really doesn’t sleep much, so it could go either way

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

neither ??? june doesn’t cook and adam’s not a good cook

what is their favourite sleeping position?

either adam on his back with june tucked into his chest, his arms around her, or both of them on their sides and adam spooning june. they love em !!!!

do they set an alarm each night?

they do. june has broken multiple alarm clocks, tho, so make of that what u will

who has nightmares?

both :((( june’s are more frequent, i think

can a television be found in their bedroom?

nah. adam wouldn’t want one, and june watches everything on her laptop

who has ridiculous dreams?

probably june. she’ll sleepily recount them to adam the next morning in bed and he’ll either hm? into her neck to show he’s listening or huff a laugh against her skin

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

june. adam has learned to accept this fact about her. usually he’ll just position her so that they’re both comfier when she does it, but he has been woken by her elbowing his side before

who makes the bed?

adam. june cba with that shit. she’s just gonna get back in it anyways !!!!

what time is bed time?

adam pushes june to go to bed by 11. sorry u gotta take care of ur stupid energiser bunny girlfriend, buddy

any routines/rituals before bed?

eh nothing in particular i dont think ??? nothing out of the standard brush teeth / clean face / get into pjs thing anyway

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

june is the GRUMPIEST. she’s not a morning person in the slightest

WORK.

who is the busiest?

hmmmmm. they’re both probably equally busy ??? i mean adam’s the head of the unit so he probs has work he has to do, but then june’s basically the head of the department bcos the captain’s never around, so she has a lot of work. and she has to balance that work with the agency. maybe june’s slightly busier ???

who rakes in the highest income?

eh they’re probs around the same ???

are any of them unemployed?

nope

who takes the most sick days?

june bcos adam doesn’t get sick. also sometimes she just wants A Personal Day and / or is hungover

what are their jobs?

he’s a commanding agent, she’s a liaison and also police detective

who sucks up to their boss?

haha adam’s technically june’s boss and she loves to suck badum tss

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

june shdjshdk girl is Bad at time management. sometimes tho they’ll both be late bcos a morning fuck went on too long. june is very smug on these days

who stresses the most?

uhhh both stress a lot ?? june has anxiety. but adam also is constantly on edge so ????

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

yeah they enjoy them i guess. adam definitely enjoys his. june is..... complicated. she doesn’t trust the agency and she doesn’t rly wanna be a cop, but she doesn’t know what else she could do so ???

are they financially stable?

yeah for the most part. the agency has good salaries

HOME.

who does the washing?

i think maybe june does it more often just bcos as a human she....... probably ???? goes through more clothes ??? that makes sense to me ??? idk hsdk

who takes out the trash?

adam, usually. especially if it’s dark; june ain’t going nowhere at night

who does the ironing?

again, adam. just bcos he’s more likely to have clothes that need ironing. june has never touched an iron in her life

who does the cooking?

i mean june is notorious for not cooking but rather ordering takeout, so...... i mean i dont think adam is a bad cook but he can rly only cook rly bland, simple meals, and he obviously doesnt need to eat so. i guess if it’s one of them it’s june

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

yeah june sdhskdhksdk she just has a very short attention span bro idk what to tell u

who is messier?

yep june no question. adam’s a lil bit of a neat freak im calling it

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

neither

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

yeah june. sometimes adam if he’s had a long day tho. or like if theyre getting Freaky and leaving clothes everywhere. but in general, june’s more likely

who forgets to flush the toilet?

ew gross people do that ?? neither

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

june shdjjsjdk

who answers the telephone?

uhh both ig ?? but they don’t have like a landline or anything they only have their cells

who mows the lawn?

adam, but only once they’ve moved out of june’s apartment after having the kids. june’s got a black thumb bro she’s not allowed near the garden on nate’s orders

who does the vacuuming?

both !!! they take turns

who does the groceries?

june 100% and she always ends up getting shit that wasn’t on the list shdjskdk. sometimes they’ll do it together tho

who takes the longest to shower?

uhhhh i mean. i think they shower together quite a lot so ???? both ???

who spends the most time in the bathroom?

like getting ready ???? uhh depends. if june’s doing makeup, her, but she doesn’t do it often

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

nahhh the agency pays them well

how many cars do they own?

originally only june’s shitty little hatchback, but when the kids are born they get a second one. probably it is very pretty and fancy and expensive, because adam

what’s their song?

either dermot kennedy’s power over me, or fortress by bear’s den. like, seriously, look up the lyrics; they’re the ULTIMATE adamjune songs

do they live in the city or in the country?

does wayhaven count as a city, even if it’s like... a small town ??? idk

do they own their home or do they rent?

june’s renting her apartment currently, but when ollie and emma are born, they buy a place at the edge of town

do they enjoy their surroundings?

eh. neither of them are especially fond of wayhaven, but i think maybe it grows on them over time ??? june definitely in her current point in canon is only there bcos she doesn’t know where else to go

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

Yearn like fools. they miss each other shdjshdk they’ll call each other if adam is ever sent out on an assignment away from town or june has to take some kinda business trip. theyre always super happy to be reunited

where did they first meet?

at an abandoned warehouse in book 1. june shot him. it was great

who spends the most money when out shopping?

uhhhhhh bro i genuinely don’t know ??? adam and june both have terrible taste in clothes; he walks around in cargo pants half the time and she’s never not in something oversized and baggy and possibly falling apart ???

ig june spends a lot on technology ??? and on food ????

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

ok i mean adam has already in canon gotten shirtless and flashed his assets at june while convinced he feels nothing for her so. him. he’s a show-off we all know this

any mental issues?

yeah lmao. june already had ptsd before canon from being assaulted in college, and now it’s just worse bcos of everything with murphy and shit. she also has depression, because obviously, and anxiety. also adhd if that counts ??? it probably counts

i think adam’s got some ptsd too from that Terrible Fiery Scene Of Death we saw in the mirror from his past, and probably that’s compounded by experiences since he became a vampire too ??? possibly some depression as well just bcos i’m now considering his whole ‘numb for years’ thing and how that overlaps with depression ?? :/// idk

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

adam doesn’t trip often but when he does june howls with laughter. usually if he’s tripping it’s bcos she’s done something Very Distracting. one time she took her shirt off in their living room when he wasnt expecting it and he walked into a wall

when june trips (which she often does) adam will sorta snort very quietly or his lips will twitch but he’ll always stabilise her quickly

who’s terrified of bugs?

yep june 100%

who kills the spiders around the house?

shsjdhskdjk ADAM. “june, it’s just an insect.” “um, untrue, it’s an arachnid, those are different fucking things—” “it’s miniscule. even more so than you are.” “okay, ha, ha, very funny, please kill it, adam i’m serious, kill it, it has eight legs, it’s waiting to murder me, fucking kill it!” “i’m killing it, calm down.”

do they have any fears for their future?

yeah. june’s worried she’s gonna get totally murdered lmao bcos odds are someone’s gonna try again. adam is also terrified abt this distinct possibility. he’s also scared that, like... she’ll live ??? as in ??? she won’t ever turn, she’ll stay mortal her whole life, and after waiting 900 years for her, he’ll only get a few decades with her before she dies.

that’s like not gonna happen she absolutely becomes a vampire after emma and ollie are born but still. he’s dramatic

their favourite place?

the warehouse, probably ??? it’s safe and secure and it’s comfortable ??? or else june’s apartment. i think june prefers her apartment just slightly

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

adam ??? but it’s more likely that they’d go out to a fancy dinner, rather than him cook one

who pays the bills?

they split them

who’s the tallest?

sndjhskdjkd adam. june hates and loves this fact in equal measure. adam is very smug abt how teeny tiny his girlfriend is shdkshdk he finds it very funny. also very sweet he loves it

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

both, honestly. theyre bad at keeping their hands off each other once they’re together. maybe june is ever so slightly more likely ?? idk

who wanders around in their underwear?

both. adam likes to distract june w his abs bro what can i say. june just is most comfortable walking around in a sports bra and briefs

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

june !!! and she’ll lean into his face and sing right at him with this big dumb grin too. adam will refuse to make eye contact but he’ll have this tiny lil smile on his face

what do they tease each other about?

everything. june roasts adam on the daily. adam will very dryly retort back every time. they were made for each other im telling u. 

june will sometimes bring up his whole humans are weak thing at the most ridiculous times. like, adam tries to get her to get out of bed in the morning and she’ll groan and start lamenting how weak and fragile she is, she couldn’t possibly get out of bed in this state, adam, i have glass bones and paper skin, don’t u love me ????

adam’s teasing is just dryly taking the piss out of dumb shit she says. she’ll talk abt a fight she had with someone and say she went “wa-pow!” when she hit them and he’ll just deadpan repeat, “wa-pow.” his face totally straight. i wuv themm

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

i mean neither they both have bad fashion taste. but also june hates the fucking cargo pants bruh

who crushed first?

adam did shdkshdk even if he didn’t realise. june didn’t figure out she liked him until the time between book 1 and book 2, because she missed him and she couldn’t figure out why

any alcohol or substance related problems?

uhhh no not rly. june has a history of using recreational drugs but that was in college and she doesn’t touch most of that shit these days

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

june probably shdjshdk she’ll have a girl’s night with farah, morgan, and tina, and just come home absolutely fucking twatted. adam always tucks her in

who swears the most?

yeah june. she swears in every other word. the first time she made adam curse is burned into her brain seriously she takes such pride in it

[wallysbestie]

Question Tag

So I was tagged by both @felegs and @stayuwu to do the 11 Question tag and a different one but ill probably make that its own post as well so minimize the size on these but yeah im gonna go ahead and just answer their question together and then,,, i dont know if ill be tagging people ill decide at the end lmao

but yeah ill put it under a read more because i dont want yall to deal with my long ramblings. if you just want my questions and want to ignore all my answer than just scroll to the very bottom!

Stayuwu’s Questions:

Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

I am~ I typically day dream about fic ideas like how I would imagine them to pan out or if I’m in class then I’ll typically day dream about this is nerdy as hell let me be how like the psych topics were learning about could be panned out in a story like we learned about this specific condition in my cog class and i just immediately wrote the concept into a fic story lmao

What’s your favorite place in the world?

mmm depends. at home its the beach but specifically this beach by my house because its a very calm beach that also has a super cute little center with small local shops and stuff and minimal seagulls hate those fuckers but here at school its my departments building because every floor has a big staircase thats dark and quiet and has huge windows facing the forest and the other side has a balcony facing the campus and you can see the ocean if youre high enough and its just hgvfsd i love

What’s home to you?

not be like,,, cliche i guess but like,,, i dont? think i have one? i dont like feeling tied down so i dont typically think of anywhere as “home” 

This is not a question but quote a vine.

shawty i dont... mind

Grey’s anatomy or House?

House hands down i watched grey’s for a while growing up and its just,,, too much lmao house is so dark and unapologetic and i love it

Do you have any pets?

i have one (1) dumb dog that i love so much and can never stop talking about to showing off photos about

What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the distant mom friend

Do you hate someone? If so, why?

nah i dont have the energy to give someone that type of passion. im more of the if you fuck me over ill completely cut you out of my life within a blink of an eye type of cap not the ill hold a grudge against you type of cap

What’s your dream job?

working in a hospital with kids with mental disorders and terminal illnesses

What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

i,,,, dont know??? i know mayhaps 3 characters from MCU and thats only through like 1 or 2 movies lmao

I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

last night i went to sleep at like 1 am which is the earliest ive slept in so damn long and yet my body still decided it needed 12 hours of sleep. 12 hours? in this economy? please we dont have time for that i have articles to read

My Moon’s Questions:

what’s one thing that helps you relax?

being cold and listening to music helps me a lot so if im like freaking out or super upset ill usually go outside and either sit on the stair case or go walk around especially at night

what’s your favorite novel and author?

mmm its not a novel but my favorite short story that I’ve ever read is What We Talk About When We Talk About Love (but the original version) by Raymond Carver

are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

kinda? I’m not a big fan of pda so the most I’ll do is like give hugs or if its something real special like my sun or my ex roommate then I’ll give them kisses on the cheek or forehead but aside from that I’m more of a silent affectionate person who will just like,,, pat your arm or bring you some water when I know you need it

are you an early bird or a night owl?

oh definitely a night owl whether I want to be or not lmao

if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

mmm I have a lullaby that when my best friend moved back to their home state, they had me listen to it because they knew I was going through a really hard time and wasn’t not like,, in the safest of spots and I remember crying for like a solid 30 minutes and like even now to this day if I’m in a really bad spot I’ll listen to that song and just think about my best friend and like it just gives a small hope that things will be okay again

if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

Florence, Italy the only place I’ve actually felt safe ironically considering its hours away from anything I could ever consider home

what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

i have a shirt from this show that i love so much to the point my aunt stole it and hid it somewhere so now i have no idea where it is and will likely never get it back :’)

who’s your bias and why?

hgfds i have too many biases this is hard but uh honestly most of my biases are such for the same reason that being that they’re very strong capable people who have been through hell and back adn yet still always find a reason to bounce back and give life their all (ex: Yongguk, Young K, Taeyong, Bang Chan, Hanbin, Amber)

do you believe in luck and miracles?

finding you was a miracle but aside from that not really? i like the concept of them but i dont actually believe in them. i believe things happen for a reason yknow

what’s your favorite type of decorations?

christmas lightssss i own so many omg i think i have like,,, 8 strands with me currently?? with only 2 not being put up on some wall??

do you prefer being outside or inside?

definitely outside which is funny because I’m inside so much but I love going out adventuring and just being a menace to society tbh

My Questions:

What’s the “weirdest” song that stands out from your library?

Do you have a piece of clothing or jewelry that you hold dearly?

Have you ever gotten something autographed? How’d you get it?

What concert/festival did you really want to go to this year but had to miss?

What’s the hardest thing for you to do alone?

Would you rather stay in your hometown for the rest of your life but have everyone you love and appreciate live near you or move to your dream location and have a stable life but leave everyone you know behind?

Favorite thing to do during this lovely month of Halloween?

Are you a trick or treating kind of person or someone who would rather hand out the candy?

Do you have any crazy Halloween stories? Break into anything? Throw an insane party? Spill.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done that when you look back you;re just like “wow who possessed me and made me do that?”

If you could spend a date night on Halloween and just eat candy and watch horror movies, which idol would you want to do it with?

Can you tell I’m excited for Halloween? it was hard to not make all 11 of these spooky themed lmao but anyways let’s get to tagging

@newkids-thefinal @gayforjiwon @tangerine-jinani @taecheeks @devilji @kxmwoojxn @junheeart @kuromatoki @minhosgf @shen-anakins @minbebee @mias97

[seventven]

Tony being your sugar daddy + a “boobs guy” would include:

pairing: tony x reader

warnings: oh no hide your children this is about women willingly using their bodies and benefitting from it

a/n: hello i’m back after 4 months having graduated high school and being a bigger tony slut than ever before

also this is the longest “would include” i have ever written but i’ve been getting requests for this for months and it took me forever to get around to writing so enjoy

i am a firm believer in that every person in this world is either an ass or a boobs person

and anthony stark is the latter

personally i am an advocate for women embracing their sexuality and being proud of their bodies and showing them off in whatever way they like

so like imagine

y/n is tony’s assistant

kinda like that whole situation with natasha in iron man 2

except ya know y/n is an actual assistant lmao

and she’d be v good at her job and within months she’d basically be running stark industries

lets pretend pepper doesn’t exist ok im still salty about her

and every couple of days or whatever tony would pop into the office and do a bit of paper work

like signing things or whatever i dont know what CEOs do

and he’s sitting behind the desk in his office, a bunch of papers in front of him

and he’s bored out of his mind bc this stuff is the woRST

and suddenly there’s a knock on the door

and y/n cautiously peaks her head out from behind the door to make sure she isn’t interrupting him

and when tony motions for her to come inside she steps in and shuts the door behind her

and she’s wearing a classic little black dress that reaches below her knees but which shows off a lot fair amount of her cleavage

and tony doesn’t notice at first

not until she’s standing opposite him

“i’ve more things for you to sign,” she’d say and bend over his desk to place the paper work in front of him

and that’s when tony’s eyes would register the sight in front of him

because from where he is sitting he gets the perfect view of her chest

unfortunately, this only lasts about two seconds before she straightens up, smiles at him and heads for the exit

and tony sorta just sits in his chair and stares at the door through which she had left

because holy fuck

so then after that tony would start calling her down to his office more often than necessary

and though this may seem sexist, the way he gawks at her and whatnot

it’s not like y/n doesn’t know what’s going on

and it’s not like she isn’t enjoying it

because soon enough she’d start wearing tops and dresses with even lower necklines

and bras that made her plump flesh want to explode out of her clothing

and both of them would love it

so tony would start making excuses in order to call her down

“i need you to tell me what you think of this new project”

“i need you to explain to me what this document is about”

“i need you to help me find a suitable date for this meeting”

but it wouldn’t just be tony

y/n would quickly start to find ways to make her way down to his office

“sorry for interrupting but have you signed the...”

“don’t mean to take up your time but do you know where that file went...”

and it would literally be never ending

and i feel like their relationship would start with one of them just not being to take any more of this god damn tension

and they’d probably fuck on his desk one time when y/n came down to ask if he had a pen on something equally stupid

and while he’s fucking her on the desk he’d probably be absolutely captivated by the view of her tits bouncing up and down

and he’d be so handsy with them

and he’d probably cover them with bite marks and hickeys

and it would be the hottest thing tbh

and then after that incident they’d get a whole lot more flirty at work

because now they both know they are into each other

and i dig the idea of tony opening up his email one morning when he gets to the office

and it’s from her

and he doesn’t think much about it, expecting it to be more boring paper work

but it’s actually a v explicit picture she had taken of herself the night before and it gives him a perfect view of her chest

and the caption is something that makes the blood rush to tony’s crotch in an instant

and he’s still staring at the picture ten minutes later when y/n and another employee walk into his office

and tony quickly logs out of his email

and the other employee gets him to sign something

and as they are leaving y/n turns back around and sends tony a cheeky wink

and within twenty minutes he is calling her down to his office and fucking her over the table again

and for a couple of months their relationship would consist of nothing other than intense sex every once in a while

of course, with the occasional going out for lunch together and talking in the office

and tony would notice that she’s a fan of victoria’s secret

so then y/n’s birthday would roll around

and the guy would go completely over the top

like imagine y/n getting to the office on her birthday morning

and no one else is there bc she had arrived early as usual

and she sets her stuff down and notices a square black box sitting on her desk

and it has a huge silk bow and looks really fucking expensive

so she looks around the office, wondering if it’s from one of her coworkers but there’s no one there

so she lifts the top of the box

and inside, sitting on a silk cushion is a victoria’s secret fantasy bra

and let me remind you that those things cost like at least a million dollars

but tony has the money

and if he has the money who’s gonna stop him

and y/n honestly cannot believe her eyes as they examine the bra

and she’s shocked by the amount of diamonds and other precious gems covering the surface

then, she notices a black card tucked into the space between the cushion and the wall of the box

and on it is a hand written note from tony

asking her to wear the bra tonight and be ready to be picked up at seven and telling her to take the day off

and as she’s making her way towards the exit of the building

the box clutched in her hands so tightly her knuckles are turning white

she runs into one of tony’s personal drivers who tells her he has been ordered to escort her to several places

and at first y/n is hesitant bc what the hell

the most she was hoping for that day was maybe a box of chocolates from one of her friends and a gift card to sephora

but here she was, clutching a two million dollar bra in her hands and being led to a sleek black vehicle by one of tony’s drivers

and the car would take her to a bunch of different places all of which would have already been paid for and ready for her arrival

because tony wanted to spoil her rotten on her birthday

the day would consist of her being driven to a spa, nail studios, and extravagant shops that mr tony stark had already paid hundreds and hundreds of dollars just for making her experience there pleasant

and by the end of the day y/n would be driven home and given some time to get ready for wherever tony was bringing her to

and obviously as asked she’d carefully put on the fantasy bra and one of the outfits she had purchased over it

and then the driver would return at exactly seven o’clock and bring her to the fucking port or something equally weird

and tony would just be chilling next to his own private yacht

and he’d take her hand and lead her onto it

and they’d probably be served dinner by some fancy ass chef he had hired just for this occasion

and y/n would be very confused by the whole day but also very thankful and by the end of dinner she’d mention the bra

bc she’d honestly feel guilty having received such an expensive present from him

but tony would just chuckle and stand up

and he’d bring his chair around the table and sit down next to her

and he’d probably lean in and kiss her bare shoulder

and then he’d hook his finger around the strap off her dress

and pull it down to reveal just a tiny bit of the bra she was wearing

and he’d whisper something like:

“it’s all yours. this, and anything else you might want. just say the word”

and idk about you but i’d be shuddering and squeezing my thighs together

bc holy shit sugar daddy tony makes me wanna sin

and they’d probably have sex again

this time in one of the luxurious bedrooms on the yacht

and in the morning tony would be missing from bed

but she’d be served breakfast in bed by one of the yacht keeping people i have no clue what they’re called

and after breakfast she’d get out of bed and find another three bags or so from victoria’s secret and chanel waiting for her on the chaise lounge

and she’d get dressed and go exploring

and find tony on the deck and they’d spend a lot of time drinking champagne and having sex

and then the trip would be over and she’d return home and go back to her life in the office

but every week she’d find different packages from tony

whether it was prada, chanel, or versace, tony would have more expensive gifts delivered to her apartment every couple of days

and with the gifts came along the great sex and getting the opportunity to attend different fancy functions and being tony’s “arm candy”

not that she’d mind

bc as she’d get used to the gifts, the vacations and the luxurious lifestyle

she’d also become a whole lot more comfortable with this sugar daddy slash sugar baby relationship

she’d be more than willing to get called various pet names during sex

and tony would live for the excitement on her face every time she’d open a new gift from him

and although the other female employees at stark industries would begin to despise her for the close relationship she had with their boss

neither y/n nor tony would be willing to end the arrangement

and then over time their feelings might become romantic

but until that time they’d both indulge in the non romantic relations they had

but once they’d start developing feelings for each other i feel like the transition from being in a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship to an actual relationship would be very natural for them

firstly y/n would start staying the night at his place after sex instead of going home

in the office he’d start stealing innocent kisses when they’d pass each other in the hallway

and they’d start talking about serious aspects of their lives and just understand each other really well

and even after they’d officially get together, tony would still continue to spoil her

and i feel like at some point in the relationship tony would start to have doubts

bc lets be serious tony stark is too damn hard on himself

and because y/n is a lot younger than him he’d start to get a little paranoid

maybe it would begin with him noticing the way guys her age would stare at her longingly

or how the press didn’t think their relationship would last due to the age difference

but the feelings they’d have for each other would be as real as they get

and y/n would be more than willing to prove to tony how much she loves him

and at the end of the day it wouldn’t matter what way guys looked at her

or what the press had to say

or what the other employees at stark industries thought

the only thing that mattered was the fact that among the gifts and sparkly bags, the exotic vacations and expensive champagne, both of them found something they didn’t even realise they were searching for

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 4: “Trying To Cover Ur Murderous Tracks” - Jones

JENNET 

nash isnt on my tribe but i cant help but feel bad for them :((( the last two days that we were together as old calumma i actually started to connect with them. they will be missed 💔

(a little later)

why am i obsessed with ethan ? *insert meme of that tiktoker just standing there*

(after building a bamboo bed)

super nervous for immunity, if we end up losing i think i might try to push for pennino bc he pissed me off the other night saying he wouldnt be available for the comp and literally SITTING THERE watching us do the comp... i really like sam and ethan (tbh more than i like lindsay and jabari) but thats only bc of how much we communicate with each other idk i do know lindsay wants to push for pennino too bc she was annoyed it too so maybe let her do all the pushing and if it backfires, just push for her to go😳

JESSICA

No song 4 today Last round we voted out Nash. That was not my ideal choice (I wanted Nicole to go) but Pete was paranoid Nicole may have an idol, that Nicole/Mikey/Nash were secretly working together, or just that something might go down. He also trusts Nicole for reasons unknown. I didn't love leaving Mikey in the dark (I think that really only helped Pete, not me) but I was nervous that if I pushed Nicole too hard as the vote, Pete would vote Mikey and then that was really the worst case scenario. If we lose this round, I am voting Nicole no question. She asked me what happened after the vote + if we could talk which I thought was great! I sent her an explanation that basically said I didn't trust Nash because they did not talk to me, I was worried OG Calumma was still a thing, and I didn't trust Nicole because she didn't start talking to me until after we lost + she left me on read a lot. And what does she do right after I sent that? Leave me on read again! I was excited to work with her when we first swapped but I don't see that happening at all now. The nice thing is because Pete lied to her, Mikey and Nicole voted each other, AND Lovelis was already initially down to vote Nicole, I'm hoping if we lose the vote is really easy. I also don't think Nicole has the idol because.... ...I found it! Okay, no I didn't. I did find a ruby though. I think that in each quadrant of the adventure, there is a gem and the four gemstones combined will make an idol. I already have 1, I have a good idea of where it could be in the north, and most importantly I am pretty sure Nicole has no advantages. I think if she had an idol, she might have played it last round, but my guess is that there is only one idol in the game and no one has it yet. However right now I'm not sharing this information with anyone. I hope that if we lose, Pete votes for Mikey out of paranoia (and that Nicole does as well) which means moving forward, Mikey really only has me and that's an alliance I can keep long term. I do also think that we are potentially swapping after this OR we will do a double tribal after this and swap then. I do not want us to lose twice because that's when things get tricky but if we do, I think I will be set up well enough that no one is coming for me.

PETE 

so my og Brookesia alliance of jessica and lovelis (plus me) they want to vote out Nicole but i reeeeaaally don’t wanna do that. Nicole and I had this talk of moving on from our past so if I just vote her out first chance I get that’d just be a huge dick move. They for some reason believe Mikey which I honestly don’t, I think he may be a little weasel. Nash doesn’t talk to me at all, so i’m hoping maybe I can shift the vote onto Nash by scaring them with the thought of Nicole having and idol

(after dropping his rice into the sand)

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH IDIDIT I DID IT IDIDIT literally i have THE biggest fucking knot in my stomach i was SO fUcking NERVOUS this is so fuckignw crazy i cant skdjdbxsjkdb i’ve NEVER been in control of a vote before like everything i told someone to do they did like i’m not gonna get all like egotistical and all that but like sjkdsxkdbsjjdjxjdkdb ive never been in this position before it’s wild i’m usually like the mikey. like i’m just there, hoping people include me but kinda just scraping by until they decide it’s my turn to leave and NOW!!!! I JUST BLINDSIDED SOMEBODYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

JENNET

trying really hard to do this comp and my arthritis is making my hands spasm :(( powering thru and hopefully we dont go to tribal. if we do im afraid that im going to be voted out :((

JABARI

So i scored for the tribe which is great but then we tie and there is tower of hanoi. Lets just say ill never play that game again but I swear im not giving up no sir....they said they wouldnt boot me because of it but ima make sure of it.

JENNET 

in love with ethan hes the best person in the world

(after staring at Ethan)

really sucks going to tribal council and i know i let my team down so now im trying to find a way- SOME WAY to remind them that old calumma wanted to go after pennino next and to hopefully keep ethan out of the fire. sam approached me about an alliance with him and ethan and tbf idc what anybody calls me or what they think but im honestly closer to the too of them than to anybody on the tribe- closer to ethan than i was to jake even😳

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/12YzvXBooOu3lndrE99YopPOcO4VEAYYB/view?usp=drivesdk lmk if this works also fun fact i just tried to open the camera on the computer im borrowing and the computer bluescreened lol i hate it here

SAM

https://youtu.be/M4E00bmBj0A

PETE

The way this game is going Id say that I’m probably closest with Jessica just because we’ve been talking since the start, she’s really nice & enthusiastic, and we’ve agreed so far on the things that need to happen so we share a lot of information with each other. Lovelis is a little bit of a wild card because he never really talks that much so I’m going to try to bond with him more so that he doesn’t feel like just another number.

LOVELIS

Who knew we’d pull out a win with flash games! Maybe we need to stop shitting on then and start praying for more of them to pop up here LMAO. So glad I can just have this day to speak to people a bit more and just relax a little - I feel like me Jess and Pete are in a comfortable position within this tribe so I’m praying for no more funny business with another premerge swap but I’m tryna stay on my toes!

ETHAN

Ok so tribal time: I am in a minority position right now and it is looking sketchy. I feel like I am going because of how Jabari and Jennet have not talked to me at all today and instead have ghosted me. I have something, but not sure if I want to play it. Do I trust people, or do I just full send and blow it up? Time shall tell

JESSICA 

Yay we won immunity! I love getting my Dolphin Olympics redemption arc, it's been 6 years in the making.

PENNINO

Now, it's 4 hours before the first tribal as Furcifer, and I think that us from OG Calumma will go and do a Pagong to Ethan and Sam. Since Ethan was a beast in  the comps, and we want to keep tribal lines, that puts Sam up for the chopping block. As for Nash leaving, no surprise. Honestly, I feel pretty safe and now i'm just waiting for another swap.

MADISON

I don't know how I've survived four rounds but here we are. I think I've legit gotten the lowest score in the past 2 challenges but everyone else is a beast so I get to stay safe for another round. The downside to being safe so long is that there isn't really a lot of gameplay happening over on Planet Brookesia and some of us might be a little bit too comfy so that when swap time comes or we lose the next challenge, it'll be scramble city to figure something out.

JAKE

https://youtu.be/Hz-Ix0ZeQ7E y'all when I tell you i'm manic just thinking about crazy fringe theories related to this game lmaoooooo

JONES

ok bet lets get strategic:tm: i feel like a lot of my confessionals are rlly like ,, , , ,me just talking ab "wow i rlly like this person, not this person so and so and whatnot" and i haven't rlly gotten to bare bones like ,, what i'm thinking ab game wise ? for starters - i think i'm in a rlly good spot surprisingly? LIKE don't get me wrong its fking dangerous being in a 4-2 but i think i'm set up super super well? i'm officially working with all of Daisy, Sammy, Shane, and Jake, and am in an alliance w everyone of those people besides Sammy. but sammy has vouched saying that he does want to work w me and has my back and i don't have like,, any reason to doubt that rn ? unfortunately the only way to rlly like ,, ,, have everyone prove their trust to me is by going to tribal aldksfjasdlfj but i dont rlly see a reason for them to like ,, , lie to me ? esp when we haven't gone to tribal? i don't see the point in marinating someone this isn't among us and ur trying to cover ur murderous tracks,,, but ya ? i'm in a good spot. i think based on my alliances and allies and whatnot, and i've stated this already so this isn't rlly a surprise, but madison would probs be the target if we'd have to go to tribal. and Jake has stated to me too that he hasn't rlly talked to madison that much either so it doesn't seem like an uncommon thought process. after the challenge tiebreaker yesterday , the newly formed ALLEANCHE! kind of came together as the 4 most active people on the tribe so it SEEMS like it would be madison AND sammy getting targetted and , ,, , sammy going for me isn't rlly cash money bc if sammy DOES have my back then that's me losing one of MY allies,, but i don't think we're going to enough tribals before another swap for that to actually be a thing ? so hopefully if we do go to tribal it'd be madison and not sammy, but i think i, if not i then maybe jake LOL, can make a good case for madison to go over sammy. speaking of jake i have a rlly bad gut feeling that i'm gonna have to think ab cutting him soon - or at least before merge. i've kinda been letting him take the reigns since preswap to make him kind of look like a leader ish ? so i'm rlly hoping that like ,, , hypothetically speaking. lets say i'm AGAIN put on another tribe w jake (bc lbr we're swapping again),, and lets say hypothetically they wanna split up the supposed "duo" of myself and jake,,, whos the smarter person to take out - the leader whos kinda been calling the shots and making the alliances since round 1, or the person whos proven themself to be reliable and to keep their team safe and be able to go to bat for their team ? idk IDK that's just me but i definitely think like ,, in terms of a building threat level i think jake is definitely the easier target asldkfjasd which is UNFORTUNATE like i LOVE JAKE but i feel like if it comes to me and jake and jake is putting me in DANGER then , ,, well,, :( i gotta do what i gotta DO i'm pawned as old reliable for a reason :katenails: but ya uhm,,, shane/daisy/jake/i were talking on call after the tiebreaker ab what could happen and we all basically agreed theres no way in hell that there ISN'T another swap on the horizon or at least like,, a twist or something. u can't just swap at 18 on a 20 person cast and just expect us to sit like lil ducks on sunday brunch, if anything we're probs gonna swap at like ,, , , , 15? OR hosts are cracked and swap us NEXT ROUND bc they're sadistic. but ya there's def another swap it rlly just depends on when and whos there to experience it - i.e whether or not i'm gonna have security from my allies or not ya feel? i feel. also there's definitely probs like ,, , ,a double tribal. or smth. or like, smth crazy and dumb and stupid that i don't have the brain capacity to rlly comprehend. but ya hope i win this was a good strategy talk #fruciferandcallumathrowchallenge

NICOLE

Hello!!! Nash went home and I'm sad so I am PROTESTING confessionals! You won't know anything that is happening with me! Nothing! (Just kidding nothing happened this round, everyone ignored me and then we won immunity so they had no need to)

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1TxoVh69i2GPA-agNAfyW0G-Bu07weXyZ?usp=sharing

SAMMY

so I had to write a paper and I'm rushing to get this in...blinks...whats new anyways I have been so off in like the idol hunting and I have felt so detached from this game since I have only been to tribal once? but I think the people in danger would be like Madison or Jake? they have both been brought up to me by daisy...and in all seriousness I would be fine with that? I honestly really am only prioritizing Jones and Daisy in this tribe. I feel fine with my position in this game and I even got a point from the flash games. Luckily Daisy won for us in the tiebreaker and we were able to barely escape tribal. I really do hope I can continue to avoid tribal so that I can get as far into this to make it to the more individual stage of this game.

DAISY

https://youtu.be/3kCYnxDIdQY

TRIBAL COUNCIL

[nijiimura]

all the botanical asks ;)

damn you.

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed?griffins hell yea

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?soundcloud!!

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?annihilation by jeff vandermeer 

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?depends on if they fit or not but YEA bc it smells like them its nice

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?tomorrow im gonna see zoe im so fuckin ready

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself?that its gonna be ok

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests?the ocean

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?the question is who was the last person i kissed 

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits?dfjdsbnfjsbfhfd NO im a walking disaster

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?bored

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?i dreamed about seeing infinity war the night before i actually saw it and apparently in dream IW they never went to Wakanda and just shot footage just for trailers like they did in rogue one

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?chocolate...

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?turn on - girls. turn off - men.

water lilly; when was the last time you cried? why?this morning bc my teacher sent me a pissed off email after i told me i was gonna be an hour late bc i missed the bus

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?no

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?whoever bites their ice cream are monsters

honey perfume; favorite movie ever?grand budapest hotel!!!!

desert rose; do you like yourself?hmmm next question

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?i took a selfie w a WWE commentator years ago 

night owl; how many countries have you visited?2!

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?yea it was fucken sweet

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?come out??

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?SLEEPOVER W ZOE TOMORROW

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?leo... yknow... nya

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.-i wear socks to bed bc my feet get cold!!-i have a scar on my wrist from a swinging accident w my little brother-i have a spotify playlist thats 122hrs long bc i just dump albums on there-abba is currently my favorite band-bleeding hearts are my favorite flowers bc they remind me of my late great grandma

daphne; do you believe in karma?yes??

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?yes

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?my dad tbh hes one of the hardest workers i know and has such a shitty job and deals w 90% of my family drama but hes always so positive and funny and i love my dad so damn much

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?good dog carl

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?i fucken hope so

iris; do you believe in ghosts?YEA

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?1979 just so i can go to an abba concert

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not?hm no lmao

primula; what makes you sad?school. all these rohan ovas davpro keeps releasing

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?yea i went to class and disappointed my teacher 

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?zoe

lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today?nothing... and i had nothing for lunch either.... all ive had is some lemonade and poptarts i bought like an hour ago

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?going to this damn college

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?ok star wars universe is rad as fuck

violet; favorite tv show?the office and kitchen nightmares HDJIFDNJF

sunflower; share a favorite quote.god idk man

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?im home alone and its raining outside and i have the windows open. i dont have any deadlines to meet and i spend the day drawing 

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?drawing and crying

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.BITCH IDK DO U THINK I READ?????

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?catch fireflies but i am SO terrified of all bugs its not funny

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?my fucken age

sweet pea; who means the world to you? why?okuyasu nijimura means the entire world to me, and heres why (pulls out 50 page essay) no but my little brother

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?have yall... dabbled in these books called warriors by erin hunter?

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?im not even into su anymore but amethyst always wins

magnolia; coffee or tea?coffee

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?Why Not Both Thot

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?WHY NOT BOTH THOT

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?hey guys im smoking the latest coolest drug called okuyasu nijimura

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?y...yes

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?yellow

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?yea we tight

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person?night

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?idk if adhd is a mental illness or not so imma say... maybe

clover; how would your friends describe you?

fucken gay

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert?depends :/

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?bitch idk man im an open book i embarrass myself on a daily basis

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.dumb gay bitch

lotus; best memory as a child?my mom bringing my cat bill home for the first time!!! he was so small.......

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?brown and brown

dahlia; do you like crystals?yea imma shove my dick in a geode

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?grievous real so i can fuck him

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?hufflepuff

calendula; biggest pet peeve?specific but when im literally just sitting in the car and one of my parents goes “looks like SOMEONE has an attitude” like?? i was silently looking out the window

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?friends bc i love them so much

blazing star; share a secret.I DONT HAVE A FUCKEN SECRET

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?happier

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why?bitch im too tired to answer this

bluebell; do you wear glasses?no

nymphea; forest or river?river

orchid; do you like exercise?HFDJKSFNDKJSDFNFK WHO TF DO I LOOK LIKE.

pansy; do you like poetry?FUCK poetry

morning glory; any special talent that you have?i can do a good swedish chef impression

[pacman-tattoo]

connect [rich g. x fem!reader x jake d.]

( Can you do a Poly Rich x Fem Reader x Jake fic? Preferably where the reader is a big geek and likes to cosplay. (Probably met when reader was doing the costumes for the play)  )

ok but i love this

ok this also went from ‘big geek who likes to cosplay’ to ‘geek, likes to cosplay, does costumes for drama dept. and knows shit about theatre’ because i couldnt resist tbh

this is 10,000 words. brb gonna go die

pls dont expect this from me since this was just something that i got rly rly into writing and got rly carried away

warnings: uhhh none that i can think of other than general language but let me know if im forgetting stuff

        Alright. You could do this. All you had to do was come up with costumes, take measurements, make everything by yourself, and have everything ready in time for dress rehearsal to begin - along with keeping up with schoolwork, going to Hobby Lobby (which, thank fuck you were getting a huge discount for, because otherwise you’d basically be destroying your own shit in order to make anything) to get everything you needed,  and basically do everything your average person needs to survive. So basically, you were ready to die a bit more inside and start multitasking - and lose sleep, but that was normal. What wasn’t normal was the show you were doing costumes for. When Mr.Reyes mentioned doing Midsummer, you imagined you’d be spending your nights sewing costumes for fairies - not... zombies. But you forced a grin and told him you’d do your best, and clutched your sketchbook to your chest, the paper with the cast list and roles jammed in, and the script for the play sandwiched between binders in your bag.

        This was fine. You’d go and watch one of their rehearsals to get an idea of how long everyone would have between costume changes, and Mr.Reyes would be speaking his vision to you as you would hastily scribble notes down, basically becoming a bobble-head as you tried to take into account everything. You’d start doing homework during classes, read online for whatever book and bullshit your way through any quizzes. Maybe you could copy some (or almost all) answers off of Christine if she’d let you. Then eventually you’d start spending your last class taking a nap with Christine in the drama room while the rest of the class did whatever - or working on whatever schoolwork you could if you weren’t tired.

        The things you did for costume design.

        Christine was the first person you measured. She’d been through this numerous times before, telling you her height and weight happily and smiling at you. Her smile fell at one point as you were measuring her chest.

       “You might want to be careful, [y/n],” she said softly, “I mean, I don’t mean to be rude but...” She glanced over to where the rest of the cast sat, chatting among themselves. “I don’t think they know how this works?”

       “You don’t sound rude!” You chirped, “they’re new to drama, right?”

        She nodded. “I don’t mean to sound mean or anything - I just thought I should warn you that someone might take offense to you asking their weight? Sorry, I know that sounds kinda weird-”

       “Nah, it’s cool, Christine,” you shrugged, “I’ll explain that this is just for me to know and that this won’t be shared with anyone else. Thanks for the heads-up, though.”

        Christine only smiled. After her, you had Jake Dillinger next on your list. He gave you the information you needed without question, and you took to measuring. After the awkward silence began to creep in between you, he finally spoke.

       “Do you do this a lot?”

        You hummed as you looked up. “Measuring people?”

       “Yeah!” He smiled, “like... costume stuff.”

        You nodded. “It’s kind of my passion.”

        Jake smiled at you. God, you knew how many people would kill to have Jake Dillinger even look their way - and here you were, tape measure around his waist without a second thought to it while you were fairly sure you had at least one pair of eyes on you. It didn’t click until half-way through measuring his inseam that some of these people probably have never seen anyone taking anyone’s measurements. 

        Well, this was going to be fun.

        Next was Rich Goranski. He raised a brow when you asked for his height and weight, but the moment you were about to launch into your ‘I need to know this because it’s legit important for costuming-” speech, he shrugged and told you. 

       “You do realize how this looks, right?” He said, slightly smirking while you slightly slapped at his leg. “What?”

       “Move your leg.”

       “What?” He repeated, before moving his foot slightly, “oh.”

       “How does this look, Rich?” You said, looking back up at him.

       “You don’t know?”

       “Enlighten me.”

        After a pause, he only frowned. “Never mind.”

        That’s what you thought.

        Jeremy was fine. He might have been somewhat awkward for a second, his eyes kept flickering from a spot on the wall to you as you measured anywhere below his waist, but he was quiet and didn’t ask questions and let you work - taking any instructions without hesitation. Brooke was similar, although much happier and barely hesitated to give you her weight and height. Heck, she actually complimented you on your dress at one point - something you’d made earlier in the year. Jenna was similar, although much chattier - which was definitely fine. You actually liked it, compared to how quiet everyone else had been while you’d taken their measurements.

        Then came Chloe. You’d known about her and Jake’s relationship in the past, so maybe that was why she’d been glaring at you the entire time you basically breathed around Jake. But she smiled.

       “Height and weight?”

        She hesitated. “Why?”

        You sighed. “This will stay between you and me - I just need it for costuming reasons.”

        Chloe clicked her tongue before answering your question. Barely half a second later, she spoke once more. “I saw Jake was talking to you.”

       “And so did Christine and Rich and Brooke and Jenna.” You shrugged, “look, Chloe, if you’re trying to say there was anything going on - there wasn’t. I took his measurements, he asked if I do this a lot, and I told him I did since costumes are my thing. Heck, we haven’t talked before today, so if you’re worried about anything between us-”

       “I’m not worried,” she snapped. “I just-” She frowned as she watched you fumble with the measuring tape, “I wouldn’t want you to get any ideas since Jake obviously has his eyes on someone else.”

        You finally looked up after straightening out the tape. “We’ve barely ever talked before. I’m not going to fall in love with him after one talk.”

        Chloe only stared at you for a moment, before letting you finish up your job. You shut the folder you kept, making sure all the papers were secure, shoving your measuring tape into your pocket, and snatching your bag from a chair. You thanked them for being patient, forcing your smile as you make a comment about how you’ll pick up supplies and get things done as soon as you can, only receiving a halfhearted response from everyone but Christine and Mr.Reyes, which managed to evoke something from both Jeremy and Jake, which in turn managed to get the rest of the cast to give you more than you’d expected.

        Well, that really showed you how fickle people could be. Not that you needed it - but still. You weren’t sure whether it was Jake or Jeremy that made them change their minds, but you left without thinking too much into it. 

        You had work to do.

        A week later and you’re already buried in your work. The contents of your room have practically been shoved into the closet as you invested all your time into each little detail in each costume. You spent your days either working on small details while in different classes, spray painting shoes during drama, or scribbling in answers to homework due the next period (or day, if you were lucky), courtesy of Christine. If you had a chance, you’d crash on the small, cheap couch in the drama room for a bit, and then you were back home and sewing and (rarely) burning your fingers on hot glue.

        It was hell, but it was worth it.

        The rustling of paper and plastic bags caught your attention, snapping your attention away from the warming glue gun, which wasn’t warming up fast enough for your liking. There stood Christine, admiring the different pieces of costumes that were strewn about - the bare bones of Brooke’s dress that still needed the bows fixed and lime green details, Christine’s own dress hanging on a hanger only needing tiny touch-ups, a shirt you found for Chloe that you had yet to touch, and one of Rich’s costumes already near completion.

       “Wow.”

       “Yeah.”

       “You need a break. C’mon,” she said, sitting on the edge your bed, “I brought food... and more hot glue sticks.”

       “Yes!” You smiled, hopping up. You shoved your backpack from it’s spot, sitting cross-legged as you took one of the Chipotle cups from her.

       Christine sat on your bed, unfolding the bag as she hands you your usual order. You thank her and almost immediately break into your food. Sometimes you wonder how you ended up with such a great friend, considering she lets you copy off her work without question during your sleepless weeks and memorized your order (not that you haven’t done the same, but still). Then again, ten years of friendship have made the two of you this close. Sleepovers and doing theatre together until high school - when you decided you didn’t like doing it as much - and movie nights where the two of you screamed at stupid horror movies or shifted uncomfortably at random sex scenes or jammed out to movie musicals; all built up your friendship over the years, even if there were a few fights from time to time. In the end, you two were closer than anyone else you two knew.

      “Jake asked me to come to his Halloween party on Friday,” she said as she opened the container containing her own order.

       “And?”

      “I think I might go.” She shrugged, “he’s so sweet, [y/n]. He suggested that we go as prince and princess.”

      “That’s cute,” you smiled, “do you still have that-”

      “Renaissance costume? Yeah,” she smiled, “it still fits! I mean, it was only a year ago, but still.”

      “Well... have fun, I guess,” you shrugged. She stared at you.

      “I was... actually going to take you with me? Jake said it’d be okay, and you’ve been pretty stressed about all the costumes, and I just thought you could use a night out-”

       You traced circles into the condensation forming on the cup, awkwardly taking a sip. You did have a costume, so it wasn’t like you weren’t prepared. Albeit it be based off of a video game character, it was still something. “People are gonna say I’m a geek.”

      “So? People know that I’m a theatre geek. Besides, if anyone says anything, at least you have the satisfaction that you made your costume yourself!”

       You eyed the pair of long-fall boots in the corner of your room, the portal gun you’d ordered resting against them. Maybe you’d at least ditch the portal gun for Halloween - you didn’t want to risk damaging it, considering the house would probably be full of drunk teenagers. You looked back to Christine.

      “I’ll go if we can have movie night on Saturday. Me, you, and a couple bags of discount Halloween candy,” you brushed a lock of hair behind your ear. 

       “No horror movies,” she said. You frowned.

      “Fiiine. No Singing in the Rain.”

       She was taken aback, “but [y/n]-” She paused, “actually, I have something better. I’ll pick you up.”

       The backyard was the quietest place, for some strange reason. The music wasn’t threatening to knock pictures and paintings off of the walls, there wasn’t the blazing heat of a hundred teenager bodies - quite the opposite, in fact, and you were wishing you brought some sort of jacket - and the lighting was dim. Sure, it wasn’t dead silent - people littering the porch and lounging around the pool (or, if they didn’t care enough, they stripped down to next to nothing and jumped into the icy water before letting out a scream at how fucking cold it is), but it wasn’t too much. You sat in a porch swing, hugging a pillow and swaying back and forth as you wondered where Christine was. Maybe you’d convince her to leave a bit earlier than the two of you had planned, and you’d crash in her bed since fuck the couch, the couch is always cold. 

        The swing suddenly jerked back, sending you immediately gripping onto the back and arm. When you turned to confront the fuck that decided to throw themselves into the spot next to you, you were met with the familiar face of a certain boy who asked you if you realized how ‘this’ looked when you measured him. He sort of grinned at you, as you sink back into your spot, clutching the pillow closer to your chest. Just what you needed: Rich Goranski.

        “Y’know, I didn’t expect to see you here,” he began suddenly, not caring to greet you, “but Christine n’ Jake both mentioned you were around here somewhere, so...”

        “I’m taking a break.” You ran your thumb over the corner of the pillow. “From costumes,” you added on, “Christine’s making me.”

        He nodded and smiled again. “Good. You deserve to let loose sometimes.” He paused, “who are you?” You looked at him, before he just gestured toward your body.

        You glanced down to your costume. “Just a video game character.”

        He didn’t respond at first, but the moment your attention drifted back to the pillow, he spoke. “That’s cool. I’m Jason,” he said, “from the movies? Friday the 13th?” The mask gleamed in the low light from overhead, and you could barely see the red streak peeking out slightly from underneath it, boldly standing out against golden brown.

        You sort of smile. “I know. I like horror movies.”

        “You do?” He sounded genuinely surprised. You didn’t blame him, honestly - especially with the reaction you had earlier when all he really did was sit next to you.

        “Yeah. I mean, I get fucking terrified, but they’re still good.”

        He chuckled a little, reaching up and pushing at the edge of the slipping mask, poising it back at the top of his head, “you wanna grab a drink?”

        “I’m fine.”

        Rich pressed his lips together, obviously not expecting you to reject his offer. He pushed back slightly, basically swaying the swing back and forth slowly. “You do costume shit often?”

        You had to admit - you weren’t fond of his word choice. But you shouldered your thoughts, squirming uncomfortably against the wood, “yeah. Kind of my passion.” You nearly decided against it, but you were already speaking, “I made this,” you gestured slightly toward your outfit. “And the boots, too,” you tapped your fingers against the metal curving out of the back.

        He didn’t speak, just staring. “Can I?” He reached out a hand. You slowly nod.

        You barely knew Rich Goranski - at least, personally. He sprung up during sophomore year and was Jake’s friend, and has slept with numerous girls if the rumors surrounding him were anything to go by. Plenty of people didn’t catch his attention - you and Christine were never the object of his eye, as were many of your friends - but the ones that did seemed to be the popular, gorgeous girls that seemed fawned about by everyone. You heard about how he was one of those guys who’s focus was basically getting into girls’ pants and to watch out because his fingers like to roam or some bullshit.

        But here he sat, right next to you, tracing over the detail of your boots. His attention didn’t wander to your thighs or chest or anything, and a smile tugged at the corners of your lips as he let out the softest gasp at the metal curve of the brace of the boots. Rich seemed genuinely interested, soaking in every part of what would be a complete cosplay if you had your portal gun - and heck, you kind of regret not bringing it if your boots were enough to stun him. For a moment, the cool Rich Goranski who makes stupid sexual comments faded away. For a moment, you saw someone else.

       And within a moment, his hand jerked back and he was gone. He leaned back, gave you a half of a grin, and eased back into his usual cocky, too cool for this shit persona. “I’ll, uh, see you later,” he stood, the swing drawing back a little too quickly.

        The swing threw itself forward, and you nearly fell out if it weren’t for Rich, quickly catching you by the shoulders, his fingers warm against your bare skin. He chuckled softly, tracing circles in your skin with his thumb.

        “You alright?” He said softly. You dumbly nodded, movements slow as you leaned back. He smiled again, and for a split second, you swore you saw the fainted, thinnest pattern of a circuit creep onto his features, etched out across his freckled cheeks ever so faintly. “Good. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to someone as cute as you.”

        His touch lingered a few seconds more before he stepped away, making another comment about how he’ll see you later. The warmth of his touch seemed to haunt your skin, the circles he traced feeling as if it had been tattooed there, just as a reminder that that was real and Rich had just been talking to you. You dismissed the thoughts quickly, standing slowly and stretching, bones popping softly. You’d find Christine and see if you two could leave. Passing out in Christine’s room sounded amazing, and the promise of sleep sounded like it might be able to wash off the ghost of a touch.

        You eventually found her on the couch, talking to some kid in a cyborg costume - Jeremy? You remembered his face and his body too well, honestly, but his name seemed to slip your mind - albeit it looked more like he just wore a onesie to the party as a last minute option. You couldn’t really judge - he seemed happy. Whether it be from the fact he was talking to Christine, because who wouldn’t be happy talking to Christine, or because he was at this party or because whatever, you couldn’t be sure.

        “Hey, [y/n]!” She smiled, “you remember Jeremy, right?”

        Awkward kid that kept getting nervous when measured below the belt. “Yeah. Hi,” you said, sinking into the spot next to Christine, waving at Jeremy. He sort of awkwardly smiles - that sort of smile that’s just oozing with damn it her friend is here. The sort of shit you often saw in movies.

        “Anyway, you were saying?” Christine said, looking back to Jeremy.

        He stared, looking from her to you before deciding on whatever he was about to say. “I was wondering if, uh, you wanted to go out with me?”

        Oh shit, he actually went for it. You looked to Christine, before snagging the keys out of your pocket after seeing how tense she had immediately grown. You whispered, “I’ll go get the car. Meet you in five.” And left the living room as quickly as you could.

        Thirty minutes later and you’re almost to Christine’s house, listening to her ramble about how Jeremy used to be kind of a sweetheart in the past - he didn’t really talk to her, but he was “kind of adorkable” whenever she saw him. Awkward, but adorkable. And now he’s changed and he’s changed from a dork to a dick sometimes, being one of the popular boys who hangs out with Rich and Jake. 

        You ditched your boots in the car, following her into her house, listening to her now talk about the shit that Jake pulled and how she dumped him after seeing that he wasn’t over Chloe. Within the next few thirty, you had showered and had donned the comfiest of pajamas and crawled into bed next to Christine.

        When you woke up, she was crying.

       “It’s Jake.”

        buzz

       “They’re saying Rich burned down his house-”

        buzz

       “Jake had to jump out of a window-”

        buzz

        buzz

        “[y/n]-”

        You took her phone, it buzzing to life endlessly against your palm. Rumors were flying, blocked by your palm “hey, c’mon. Halloween candy, movie day. Singin’ In the Rain. Alright?”

        Her arms were wrapped around you within seconds, her face hot with tears and buried in your neck. “... Yeah. Alright.” She felt your arms wrap around her, and you peek at her screen. Numbers she didn’t know, numbers you’d never recognize, kept spitting rapid-fire across the screen. 

       You shut off her phone. Sure, none of it was directed toward her, but jesus it was a lot to take in - especially because you knew where Christine’s mind was, even if it wasn’t an active thought. There went multiple roles - roles she and Mr.Reyes probably couldn’t handle alone. You traced circles in the thin fabric of her shirt.

        “Everything will be alright.”

       click click click

      “He-ey, [y/n]!”

       click click click

       Was it rude to speed up when the other person was on crutches? Well... at least you had somewhat of a reason. You were Christine’s friend, and you still weren’t completely sure how she felt about him - so you’d play it safe and avoid him as best as you can. But you slowed eventually, turning to face him, smiling a little.

       “Hey, Jake,” you said, awkwardly shoving your hands into the pockets of your dress, rocking slightly on your heels. “... How are you?”

        He doesn’t seemed phased by the fact you were kind of ignoring him, but smiles ever brighter now that you are talking to him. “I’m great!”

        For a second, you swore he didn’t even realize he broke both of his legs. “That’s good.” You sort of smiled, “where’s Chloe?” Fuck, why did you ask that-

       “I’m... not really sure. Probably with Brooke,” he said, “hey, have you finished any of my costumes?”

       “You’re still in the play?” You asked slowly, before he nodded.

       “Yeah! It’s been pretty great, and I can still do most of my stuff, so... why not?”

        You nodded slowly, “I’ll talk to Mr.Reyes about a costume parade tomorrow, since almost everything's done,” dear fuck, was that a lie, “and I’ll make any fixes necessary!”

        Jake nodded, still smiling. He had no idea what a costume parade was, did he? Whatever - he was smiling and he’d learn eventually.

        Time to buy as many energy drinks and stay up finishing every costume you could. Scratch that, finish every costume because you needed to. Would Christine probably get mad you were pushing yourself like that? Probably. Were you going to tell her? Nope. At least, not until after everything was done.

       “Tomorrow I won’t be here to help you all with costume changes.” You announced, standing next to a rack of costumes backstage, “so I ask that you all please be careful and to help each other if possible. Yes, you might miss a cue since this will be the first time,” you ignore the look Christine gave you, “but I will be here specifically to help with the quick changes after that. I’ve spent weeks making these costumes with quick changes in mind,” you plucked Jeremy’s reversible off of a hanger, “which is why I’ve kept most things simple and things that don’t need much help getting in and out of. For example, this-” you hold up the jacket- “is what’s called a reversible.”

        You slid your arms into it, it hanging slightly longer due to Jeremy being a bit of a string bean, “on one side, it looks like this. But,” you removed the article of clothing, flipping it inside out, “it becomes this when reversed. Hence the name: reversible.”

        At the lack of questions, you went on. “I assume you all have been informed of the costume parade? Basically, all you all will be doing is trying on your costumes and I’ll be discussing any changes that need to be made. Understood?” You barely had any reaction, before forcing another smile and continuing, “good! I’ll be sitting out in the audience, so just come line up at the front of the stage when you’re all in your first costumes.”

        At the lack of any protests, you were out n the audience, planted in a seat next to the kid who does lighting - Josh. He didn’t look up, eyes pinned to the phone in his hand as he switched from app to app, not really giving a shit. Eventually, after moments of dreadful silence, he looked over to yu and smiled a little.

       “Costume girl, right?” He said, and you realized the smile had been more of a smirk, as if he was planning something. You shrugged off the thought - he wouldn’t be that stupid, messing with any of your costumes... unless he had a death wish.

       “Yeah. Lighting boy, right?” You replied. If he wasn’t going to even ask your name, you wouldn’t use his.

        But he chuckled. “Yeah. Right.” He looked back to his phone. “So I hear you and Jake are... something.”

        What the fuck. “We aren’t? Where did you-”

       “I dunno. I don’t just ask a cute guy’s best friend shit about how to woo him when I like him,” he shrugged, “I get my friends to do that shit so that I don’t fuck it up halfway through saying his name.”

       “That doesn’t mean-”

        He cut you off, “plus, not naming any names, but a certain someone kept blabbing about how Jake never shuts up about you sometimes.”

        You rested your hands in your lap. How many times had you and Jake actually talked? Then again, how many times had he and Christine said a word to each other?

        Jake was cute - you couldn’t deny that. But... did you really know him? At all? The question weighed down on you - and to no one but Christine, it was obvious you were distracted as you made small comments about each costume. You all but completely skipped over Jake, dealing with the thought that he was talking about you proving to be more difficult that you first hoped. Soon enough, you packed up your shit and left, practically dashing to the school parking lot, jamming your key inside the car and throwing your shit into the passenger seat.

        Jesus, fuck, you needed to be alone. Just for the rest of the day. You had plans you had to take care of tomorrow.

        The hospital was quiet, the only noise being the soft bustle of nurses and family members or friends and such. Your steps felt like they were echoing around you, your bag hanging low on your back as you searched for Rich’s room. Eventually you find it, knocking softly first before slowly pushing the door open and slowly walking in. The lights were dim and you almost left, only to end up lingering for a moment. Was he asleep? Or... had he not woken up?

        The pale light of a cloudy morning flooded in the room, brushing over Rich’s features and causing the faintest glint of light to reflect onto the floor from one of the balloons. You felt like an intruder, standing in near silence as  Rich breathed, burn scars creeping slightly up his neck and into sight. How badly was he hurt? Hell, how did the fire even start? He was fine when he was talking to you, wasn’t he? Fuck if you knew. Part of you was glad that you and Christine had left earlier - but still rested the pit of dread in your that maybe you could have stopped this or something. Maybe you could have helped him, even if you weren’t sure how. The gentle, doe-like eyes that greeted you as he stared in wonder at your effort, your sleepless nights, your patience - all wrapped up in a pair of fancy cosplay boots. His eyes were burned into your memory.

        You should go. Maybe you could come back in a few hours and maybe Rich would be awake-

       “.... [y/n]?”

        It was broken through a yawn, but Rich had definitely called your name. You turned away from the door, and his eyes were on you, squinting as he tried to make out your features before he suddenly smiled at the sight of you. You sort of smile awkwardly, walking in but pausing a the light switch, reaching up only to be stopped by Rich.

       “Don’t. I... like it dark in here.”

        Whatever. His decision, right? Your hand fell back to your side slowly, and eventually you walked over to his bed. You hesitated to speak at first, but finally settled on the only question you could muster up, s you wrapped your fingers around the straps of your bad awkwardly. “... How have you been?”

        He frowned slightly. Oof. Probably not the best question to ask. He answered with a soft, “I’m here.”

       “A lot of people miss you,” you said, cautiously sitting at the foot of his bed, ready to move back up if necessary. He doesn’t say anything about it. “If anyone wanted to find your locker, they could. A lot of notes and shit are all over it,” you forced a smile. “It’s really sweet, honestly.”

        He doesn’t respond at first. Rich just sat there, eyes on you as he tried to think of something - anything - to say. Gone was that cocky, flirtatious exterior for a moment. He was unsure, trying to muster up any words. “What have they been saying about me?”

        Holy shit, Rich Goranski has a lisp. You sort of smiled at the thought - what a cutie. “Different shit. I... think there’s a couple people try to curve the rumors, but-”

       “Yeah. I get it.” He frowned.

       “Rich?” You were going to regret it, you knew it, but you couldn’t shake the desire to ask. “What happened?”

        He doesn’t answer again. 

        “The play’s going well,’ you said, breaking the silence.

        “Good. Is... Chirstine mad about-”

        You cut him off quickly, “no! Definitely not, dude. No one could be mad at you.”

       “What about Jake?”

       “Jake’s... Jake. He hasn’t been holding anything against you, honestly,” you said slowly.

       “How’s Jeremy?” He suddenly asks.

       “Jeremy? He’s... still Jeremy, I guess.”

       “Alright.” He paused, studying your face. How tired did you look? Fuck, you knew you should have put on something - just enough makeup to cover the bags under your eyes at least. “Have you been sleeping?”

        You tensed at the question. Maybe not as much as you should... Fuck, you downed a energy drink just an hour ago to give you the strength to live through Sunday and not sleep until five in the afternoon.

        Apparently, your silence was enough of an answer. “Go home and sleep,” he said softly, “I’ll still be here, i-if you want to come back-”

       “Yeah. I’ll be here the day after the show.” You stand, “we can talk more then, alright?”

        He nodded. He wanted to say something, but he left the words unsaid as you slowly leave the room. He looked over to the bear sitting on the table next to his bed, and frowned. “Fuck.”

        Jake missed one of his cues the first night you helped him. Could he help it? He had a cute girl helping him in and out of his costumes. He liked the way you’d gently smooth out a wrinkle in a shirt or the way you’d smile after making sure everything was right. Was it stupid that he thought about your fingertips running across his chest as you blindly found the edge of his jacket, and that the fact your arms were around him for barely a minute drove him crazy? Fuck, he wasn’t sure, but you were cute and it distracted him because you were so serious about this and he didn’t wanna mess up but how could he focus when he had a cutie like you hanging around him, specifically there for him. Everyone else was fine on their own for the most part - maybe you had to zip up Brooke’s dress and help Jenna at least once, but other than that, you were the center of his attention.

        Was it bad that he really liked that? Fuck if he knew.

        He was going to ask you out. Sbarro? Sbarro. Sbarro was a good option - who didn’t like pizza? He at least knew you did, considering one night Mr.Reyes ordered pizza for all of you before the second run through of the night. Then again, maybe Sbarro wasn’t a good idea then - you’d probably be tired of pizza. Maybe just the mall in general - he’ll try to pay for you if he can and maybe you two could just talk and maybe there wouldn’t be someone to steal the attention away with their performance art. 

        Did that sound needy? Fuck, it probably did. He’ll have to figure out how to ask you out. Hopefully Christine didn’t say anything to you - then again, she didn’t seem like the person to, and... she was oddly okay with him subtly bringing up the idea of dating you.

        "I can’t believe it,” you hissed softly, “I spent weeks making costumes - and now Jeremy doesn’t even fucking show up!”

        Jake frowned. You were pissed. 

       “I mean, Jake, you broke both of your legs and you’re here. I just... I don’t know,” you murmured. Your gaze fell to the floor, your arms crossed across your chest as you held back tears. You worked so fucking long and Jeremy just straight up blew off the entire play. Now Mr.Reyes had to make time to get through Rich’s changes, and Jeremy’s and-

        Jake’s hand was on your cheek. “Hey,” he cooed softly, “it’ll be alright. Jeremy will be here - he wouldn’t blow off something this important.”

        You looked up at him and he was blown away. God, you had beautiful eyes. “You think so?”

       “Yeah!” He smiled, slowly tearing his hand away from your cheek, gripping the handgrip tightly. He hesitated for once, unsure about the timing, but decided hes go for it. “Hey, [y/n]? I was wondering if maybe you’d-”

       “Jeremy!”

        The two of you looked up as Jeremy strolled in, usurping your attention away from him. He could tell it was taking everything to prevent yourself from marching over to him and chewing him out. Maybe he’d tell you after the show - give you time to calm down since you were practically burning, hatred oozing out of every pore. He watched as you stared, watching Jeremy talk to Christine, holding up something before watching her turn and walk away from him.

        “Places for scene two, people!”

        Jake left you standing alone, seething as you stared down Jeremy. If looks could kill… Jake left you after a few moments, hesitating slightly.

        You kept staring at Jeremy. Something was off. He seemed… anxious, uncertainty beginning to practically drip from every inch of him, his hands still clutching some pink shoe-box he had drawn out of his bag. What was wrong with him? He used to be different - acting cool and so sure, save for Halloween night. He moved, intending on running out on stage - something that’d ruin the show for sure - and before you could stop him, Mr.Reyes was already there, hand curled around his arm, fingers digging in and likely leaving bruises. He spat something in his face, only to push him back, exiting onto the stage.

        “[y/n]!” He said, voice shrill as he grabbed you by the shoulders. “You haven’t drank from that beaker, right?”

        You’re confused, staring him down. “Dude, that’s a prop - I’m not going to-”

        “Good! Fuck, I need you to go out there and take the beaker-”

        “Jeremy, that’d ruin the show for Christine, I can’t-”

        “No, you don’t understand-”

        “I’m sorry that some of us care about the show! Seriously, call time was an hour ago and you’re late-”

        “[y/n], I wouldn’t-”

        You were caught off guard by the sound of Brooke’s voice becoming rougher as she spoke her lines, filled with an newfound passion. You looked back to Jeremy. “What. Did. You. Do.”

        He tensed immediately, “I need you to get that beaker.”

        You nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

        He tore away from you. You’d apologize to Christine later, as you crept into the shadows of the curtains, putting on the headset, hearing soft humming.

        “Josh?”

        He’s immediately quiet, “huhwhat-” and, you assume, scrambling to sit up. “What? You aren’t supposed to be on here-”

        “I need a blackout on stage.”

        “Uh… it’s not the end of the scene? I mean, I’d do it but I don’t have a death wish right now since my life’s been pretty baller-”

        “Fuck, Josh, I need-”        The door swung open, and in strolled some nerdy looking guy with glasses and a red hoodie, holding up a bottle of red soda. You nearly snapped at him if it weren’t for the relief that immediately washed over Jeremy. You grew silent as you watched the two talk, Josh questioning everything as you then watched Jeremy go near silent before beginning to attack his friend - Michael, you were pretty sure. You whipped off the headset, tossing it down as you went to try and stop him.

        “Jeremy! What the hell-” You managed to say, only to be met with the cold wooden floor seconds later.

        He had shoved you away, before he tearing himself away from Michael. “It’s taking over my body,” he said, “I need your help - I’m sorry!”

        Michael was immediately after him, managing to somewhat hold him down. He nearly spoke to you if it weren’t for the familiar click of Jake’s crutches - and maybe it was better than he ask Jake, considering how Jeremy flailed against Michael’s grasp and considering you probably wouldn’t have been able to do shit with Jeremy writhing like that.

        “Jake! This is gonna sound weird but -” he was cut off for a moment, tightening his grip around Jeremy’s wrist as he struggled, “if I hold down Jeremy, can you make him drink this Mountain Dew Red?” He didn’t wait for an answer before tossing the bottle over to him, immediately returning to the task of keeping Jeremy down.

        Jake stared at the bottle, eyes catching a glimpse of you. He looked back to Michael, “actually… that doesn’t sound weird at all.”

        Pain overtook him, spiraling through his head as the bottle slipped from his grasp. His head hung low with his face scrunched in pain, before it suddenly evaporated from his features, and he looked up. He felt…

        Pretty fucking amazing, honestly.

        “Jake?” You said softly, standing as you stepped over. “Are you alright?”

        When he looked back up to you, you recognized everything. The familiar, faint circuit pattern you swore you had seen on Rich seemed to disappear within seconds. And he smiled at you, unnerving you completely as he reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

        “[y/n], I feel boss.” He didn’t stop smiling. Dear god. “No,” he said quickly, “I feel more than that. Here, watch-” He said, throwing down his crutches. You nearly scrambled to pick them up if it weren’t for Jake stopping you. “Don’t. I don’t need them anymore.”

        Jeremy piped up softly, staring at the phenomenon before him. “It… healed your legs?”

        Jake only chuckled softly, “no! But I can’t feel the pain anymore - it’s awesome!” He smiled, “you could be like this too, y’know. Painless,” he lowered his voice as he looked to you, “happy. [y/n], you could be pretty boss with-”

        “What’s wrong with me now?” You said, staring at him.

         He seemed at a loss for words for a second. “Nothing! But you could be more-”

        “Jake,” you tore away from him slightly, “I’m fine with the way I am. I don’t need,” you motioned toward his head, “whatever you have to change me.”

        He seemed rejected. The moment Brooke and Chloe walked in, however, you had stumbled into his arms, scared from the sudden appearance. He didn’t feel content, though. There you were, in his arms, warm underneath his touch, and he didn’t feel as good as he should feel. 

       The voice in his head snapped at him. Kiss her, was spat into his ear, or... get her the Mountain Dew yourself. She’ll be much happier if you-

       Then you were gone, out of his arms as you moved out of the way of everything - trying your best to avoid anything. Everything. You were fucking terrified and it showed in your eyes and in the way your arms were folded too tightly across your chest as you only took in everything that occurred before you. Michael had sprinted out after seeing the bottle resting at Jake’s feet, the pool of red soda hiding in the bottom. When the other four circled around him, you broke out of your spot, shoving past them.

        “Michael!” You had cried, arms ending up around him as the two of you fell back. When the group parted around you, you were awkwardly squished against him, both of you completely disheveled. You didn’t notice Jake’s eyes pinned to you, the voice in his head cooing it’s bullshit as it mocked him because look at her, she’s all over Mell - she probably likes Michael because Michael Mell is a loser who likes video games and Michael wasn’t like him-

         When Christine walked backstage, she was positively glowing. You went to say something, only to realize there was something so fucking wrong and that wasn’t Christine. She was too rehearsed - as if every step had been laid out in front of her, every motion planned down to the exact millisecond, her smile plastered onto her face as she approached Jeremy. She said something to him, and he just stared in awe. You balled your fists, Michael’s hoodie becoming crumpled in your hands. He reached up, fingers brushing over your arm.

        “[y/n], right?” He said softly, “look, fuck, I’m sorry-”

        You watched Christine lift the bottle to her lips, drinking. And then she screeched. One right after another - Chloe, then Brooke, then Jake, Mr.Reyes, then Jenna - and finally, Jeremy. And then they all collapsed around you, leaving you and Michael to cling to each other as you two let out a scream.

        Well. You two were fucked.

        A month later, your friend group had grown from just Christine and a couple other people to include not only Jake and Rich, but the rest of the play’s cast. Jeremy and Michael were giant nerds and you actually had plans to go to a con with them, them maybe also in cosplay if they could pull something together in time. The three of you spent the day sending endless selfies to the group chat of you all in last minute cosplays. At some point you fell asleep in the backseat of Michael’s car, and when you checked the group chat later, found a picture with “she slep” underneath it. You expected to see some sort of comments from anyone else, but only saw a “let her slep” from Christine. You shrugged it off.

        At least, you did until Rich was sitting at the end of your bed one day, watching you sew a dress for a Zelda cosplay you’d been planning for months. It was only in the bare bones stage, but he was entranced with your fluid motions. He was supposed to be focused on math homework, pestering you with questions over content if he needed it. Heck, that’s why he was there - you were going to tutor him unless he waved you off, telling you to work on your cosplay and he’ll ask questions if he needs it. But he ended up getting through two problems before he gave up, watching your face as you furrowed your brow, humming softly as you continued to work. Fuck, the amount of concentration you had was adorable.

        … Adorable? No. No, you weren’t adorable. Well, you were, but you and Rich were only friends. He liked Jake, didn’t he? Jake was cute and tall and kind of interested in him except neither of them made a move toward each other because… because.

        Because Jake was conflicted. Rich didn’t know it, and neither did you, honestly -  but Jake often sat between the two of you, his heart aflutter in his chest as he realized almost daily that he was absolutely smitten with the both of you. But he was convinced you didn’t like him - you liked Michael because Michael was kind of a dork and you were kind of a dork and why wouldn’t you like Michael? Michael didn’t try to convince you to change yourself. Michael didn’t try to convince you that you could be better if you took some… weird thing that caused a voice in his head - hell, he still wasn’t sure what happened that day. But he remembered what you told him, burning with anger as you recounted the shit he said to you only to realize that wasn’t him and profusely apologize. 

        Jake liked you. Jake liked Rich.

        Rich liked you. Rich liked Jake. 

        You liked Jake. You liked Rich.

        Fuck.

        And there you sat, Rich’s eyes practically burning a hole in your back as you worked, not knowing that you were busy shoving thoughts about how soft his hair looked sometimes and how you kind of wondered what it’d be like to kiss him out of mind. He didn’t know your fingers fumbled and that you sort of ended up nicking your skin - not terrible, but breaking the skin enough that there was a bead of blood as you hissed. You heard the clatter of Rich’s binder hitting the floor, breaking up as he’s beside you within seconds, taking your hand in his own.

        “I’m fine,” you mumbled, “sorry-”

        “Fuck, hold on- where are the band-aids?” He said. You stared at him, before softly chuckling.

        “I’ll be fine, Rich. It was just a little nick.”

        He stared at your finger, before his eyes met yours after a moment of hesitation, “you sure?”

        You couldn’t help but smile - was he worried about you? “I’ll be fine, dude. Unless you wanna kiss it and make it better or some shit,” you laughed softly.

        Dear god, did you not know how much he wouldn’t mind doing that? Even as fucking joke, it was probably the closest he’d get to kissing you honestly. He couldn’t fucking help staring at you and wondering what it’d be like to smash his lips against yours and run his hands through your hair or what it’d be like to explore every inch of your skin. His thoughts kept running elsewhere and you chuckled as your attention wandered elsewhere. What were you-

        “You should probably clean up your binder, Rich.”

        He followed your line of sight, only to find that his math binder had snapped open upon hitting the floor, papers askew. He sort of smiled, the warmth of his fingers leaving yours as he walked over, picking it up and throwing it onto your bed. He carelessly snatched up his papers, not caring whether shit got folded or crumpled as he shoved it all into the open plastic - he’d just fix it later, probably.

        “Did you finish your work?” You asked softly, bouncing on your heels. He looked to you, swiftly nodding -which was a lie, but you didn’t know that.

        Before you knew it, he shoved his messy folder back into his backpack and left you, making up some excuse about how he needed to get home or whatever. He was gone before you could protest in any form, not giving you a chance to muster up any possible excuse for him to stay a bit longer.

        And you had to wonder. What made him leave so quickly?

        “So… let me get this straight. You like Rich.”

        “Mmhmm.” 

        “But you also like Jake?” 

        You turned over, resting on your stomach as you watched Christine look through her closet, trying to find a cute shirt. “... Yeah.”

        “Why don’t you tell them that?”

        “Christine-”

        “No, [y/n],” she said, “tell them that you like both of them?”

        “Christiiiine,” you whined, “then I’m gonna ruin everything because they probably don’t even like me or - if they did, I can’t have two boyfriends, can I?” 

       “Who says you can’t?” She shrugged, pulling out a black shirt with flowers on it. “It’s called polyamory-”

        “I know about polyamory,” you cut her off, “but I don’t know about Rich or Jake- I mean, they’d probably laugh at the idea, right?”

        She frowned as she looked back to you, “why don’t you just… ask them?” 

       “Christine-”

        “Just… try?”

        What you didn’t know was that Christine knew. Jake and Rich trusted her enough - and honestly, who didn’t trust Christine? She was an angel and you often considered yourself blessed to be her best friend, honestly. Jake came to her days before you did, mentioning something about how you were cute and vaguely mentioning Rich in the same, love struck way. Rich, on the other hand, had been blunt - asking her for advice straight out only to be told the exact same thing she told you: to talk to both of you.

        The situation was this: you definitely weren’t going to make the first move. That means you had to actually mention the idea and kind of confess your feelings for the both of them and essentially make the first move, which was just a thought that absolutely terrified you. Rich wasn’t going to say anything either - more out of the fact he wasn’t sure how to bring up the idea that he’d basically be down for banging both of you (without saying it like that, since he wasn’t sure how you’d take it considering he was... kinda serious about it) without blurting it out. And Jake wasn’t going to say anything, mainly out of the uncertainty about how to bring up the topic at some point.

        So that left Christine with the decision that she’d try to push the three of you together, with some help. She may have vaguely mentioned the idea to Jeremy, and eventually managed to convince the rest of the group to get on board with this little scheme. They’d find a way to push the three of you together, since it was beginning to get blatantly obvious that there were mutual feelings between the three of you.

        One day, you and Jake and Rich ended up at the mall all at the same time, the rest of the group nowhere to be found. Then one-by-one, texts came in, an excuse given to why the rest of them weren’t there. Sure, it was weird, but Rich won you and Jake stuffed bears out of a claw machine after betting that he could beat the machine, and the three of you ended up getting pretzels so the trip wasn’t a waste at all.

        One night you ended up sitting in Jake’s hotel room with both of them, watching some crappy movie. You forgot about the homework due the next day, the impending weight of a test in a few days or weeks, the world outside passing by. For once, you were content. Rich was happy, his head in your lap as you absentmindedly messed with his hair - which was definitely as soft as you thought it would be, honestly, what is his secret? And Jake had rested an arm around you, pulling you closer to him slightly, his other hand resting near Rich’s. You’d barely remember the movie, as you sort of sunk into Jake, his warmth lulling you to sleep. Rich looked up as he noticed you slowing to a stop, your head resting on Jake’s shoulder. He couldn’t lie - he was pretty sleepy too, but the sight of you snoozing away was adorable.

        The next morning, you woke up tangled up with Rich and Jake, the awkward imprint of a zipper going down one of your cheeks, and Rich’s arms around your waist and his face pressed against your back. You didn’t want to move - the both of them sleeping soundly. So you didn’t - or at least, you avoided moving as much as you could. You only listened - the rise and fall of Jake’s chest underneath you, his breathing soft and quiet, and Rich at your back, shifting in his sleep, snuggling closer to you. Everything felt tranquil, as if the world wasn’t bustling outside with the business of morning. As if the only three people that existed were you and Jake and Rich. You smiled a little - because, well, that was a thought. Eventually you shut your eyes and somehow managed to realize one thing.

        You loved both of them.

        The group was conflicted. Because on one hand, the three of you were extremely close and seemed like everything had been resolved and that this was happening. On the other hand, none of you said a word about any of it. No announcement that hey we’re all dating, that’s cool right of any sort, no kisses, nothing that would give anything away. Because, apparently, you three weren’t dating. No matter how much Rich’s hands rested at you and Jake’s hips, sometimes squeezing gently to get any sort of a reaction from the both of you - usually a gentle nudge from you while Jake would become slightly flustered and glance down to Rich. You had the habit of bringing the two of them little things more often than anyone else - setting down one of Rich’s favorite energy drinks in front of him on the days he needed it, or bringing them both coffee and muffins in the morning. Jake would get invested in what you or Rich was doing - plans, current problems, anything and everything. 

        So then there was a bet. Christine said you weren’t dating officially, and Jeremy sided with her. Jenna had bet that it was just a secret. Michael shrugged and said it hasn’t happened - and after a moment, Brooke agreed. Chloe didn’t bother to look up from her phone, hanging onto every word.

       “Why would they hide it from us?”

       “I dunno, maybe they’re just nervous-”

       “Rich would have blurted it out by now, and [y/n] tells Christine everything.”

       “Exactly!”

       “[y/n] doesn’t tell me everything. She still has her secrets and I have mine-”

       “Christine, we all know that’s bullshit.”

       “Oh my god, they’re dating,” Chloe said, breaking the conversation up, “and Jake’s not going to say anything about it yet because this is new to him. Rich respects that, and [y/n] obviously wants to tell Christine but she doesn’t want to ruin everything. Let. It. Go.”

        The first time Rich had kissed you was after a convention. You had just gotten back to your house, fumbling with yours keys when he had turned you to face him, smashing his lips against yours. Your keys hit the ground, your hands finding their way into his hair and he tugged you closer to him. It was sloppy and quick, but you didn’t care. Thirty minutes later, you were curled up  with your head on his chest and dressed in the softest pajamas, looking up at the phone in his hand as he texted Jake to get his ass over here. 

       The first time you and Jake kissed was the following morning as the two of you were up before Rich and the house was empty, so breakfast seemed like a good idea. Besides, Jake had bragged enough about his boss cooking skills, it was time to put them to the test. So while Jake searched your fridge for ingredients, you sat on the kitchen island, humming as you watched him. At one point the two of you began making small little comments toward each other, before Jake ended up standing between your legs, forehead against yours. You had closed the distance, pressing your lips against his for a quick, gentle kiss.

       A gentle kiss that ended with Jake all but on top of you, hungrily kissing you. Rich swinging into the kitchen was what broke you two up. He chuckled, made some comment as he walked over, getting a quick kiss from Jake - and then another from you - before the three of you teamed up to make breakfast.

       And by team up, you and Rich watched Jake make pancakes.

       The group found out one day when you had accidentally sent a selfie into the group chat, Rich in the background with a dog that was definitely too big to be called a puppy, captioned with “jake our bf is paying more attention to this puppy than me and i dont blame him” and then a quick “ hurry up and get here before we buy a dog love you” before you shoved your phone in your pocket. You realized your mistake the moment there was a symphony of buzzes and chimes, and you saw literally everyone but Jake or Rich.

       “Rich?” You croaked, pulling his attention as your nerves bundled themselves tightly, your hands shaking, “Rich, fuck-”

        He was up and to you within seconds, “babe? You alright?” He said softly, only to look to your phone once you held it up. “Wait-”

       “Rich, Jake didn’t want us to say anything and I fucked up and texted the group chat and not him a-and he’s going to hate me-”

        So Rich did what he could: he called Jake, and within the next hour, the three of you were sitting on the bed in near silence. Phones kept buzzing will calls every so often - Christine being the most predominant of the names that popped up. Jake wrapped an arm around you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He wasn’t mad - you didn’t mean to and he saw how upset you were over the entire thing. Sure, the three of you probably would have waited a lot longer to say anything to the group, but at least that wasn’t a problem anymore, right? That picture of Rich was cute.

       Speaking of Rich, he had been the first one to break, checking his phone. After all, everyone could learn to love the real Richard Goranski and his lovers. Instead of happiness or anger, you and Jake were met with Rich’s silence. When you looked, you saw why.

       First came a chorus of “i knew it” in varying forms, before then there was the realization that none of you had responded. Then the chat turned to love: Christine beginning with saying she supported you three, and then there was just messages upon messages of how they supported the three of you, that they wouldn’t go parading this around the school because who the fuck would do that, that they’d all be here when you all finally decided to say something.

       You had to wonder how you came to have so many people like this in your life. First Christine, who you had years of friendship solidifying your bond stronger than steel. Now you had two boyfriends who you adored more than anything, a constellation of pure love developed between you three as you had nights where you three would just sit around and watch dumb movies and eat pizza while making stupid jokes, or dates around the town where the three of you played Pokemon Go and argued about who’s team was better over lunch. The days where you and Rich would find Jake at work, making jokes about how he worked at Dick’s Sporting Goods (one time of which Jake responded with how Rich is “sporting goods,” which ended that conversation as you laughed and Rich grew flustered) or when you started working at Pinkberry and you had both of them with the rest of the group “bothering” you during work. And dear god, how you loved the rest of the group. They all supported you all, refuting any rumors before they could really take off (especially Jenna and Chloe, the two being extremely fast to stomp out anything before they could really start blazing). The three of you had undying support from them: something you all were grateful for. Heck, you had noticed that Christine had put stars by your, Jake, and Rich’s names. When asked about it, she smiled.

       “You guys are a constellation. That’s what poly relationships are called!”

       For the first time in months, you realized how loved you were. Jake had pressed a gentle kiss to your neck, arms around your torso. Rich pressed a soft, quick kiss to your lips, arms wrapped around you and Jake awkwardly as the three of you laid in near silence, the soft chatter from the TV filling the room.

      “Hey... Rich? Jake?” You mumbled, “I love you.”

       They had both smiled. “We love you too.”

since people wanted me to mention them:

@love-doesnt-discriminate @fly-like-a-grayson @heatherchandlxrs @linslovelylocks @1two-player-game1 

sorry if i forgot anyone!!! this is just based off of the list i have

[urscottsdale]

do all the numbers, muahaha.

hahaha fuck u

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?if its who i think it was, then no she didnt2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?no3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?maybe right now?4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?yes i have plenty of times5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?nope6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?yes7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a grey v-neck with micky mouse lounge pants 😂8. How often do you listen to music?pretty much 24/79. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?sweats10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?its been like 5 years since then, so i would say yes it has11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?antisocial12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?yes13. What about ‘R’?nope14. Can you drive a stick shift?nope15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?eh depends on who but usually not16. Are you going out of town soon?i wish17. When was the last time you cried?its been awhile18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?plenty of times19. If you could change your eye color, would you?yes to brown20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?yes my dog21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.missing her22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?no 😂23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?nope24. What are you sitting on right now?on my couch25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?nope26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?all the time27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?@thishailee 😊28. Do you get a lot of colds?nope29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?walmart30. Does anyone hate you?theres a few31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?no32. Do you like watching scary movies?love scary movies33. Do you want your tongue pierced?no34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?probably the year before last or my freshman year of high school35. Did you have a dream last night?yes but cant remember36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?cant remember tbh, other than my dog37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?probably not38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?doubt it39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?nope40. Did you have a good day yesterday?not really41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?nope42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?probably not43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?yup lol but they r nowhere to be found now bc they left44. What’s the best part about school?going home45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?yes46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?i did47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?everyday48. Were you single over the last summer?yup but i had a couple flings49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thankfully50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?i need to be cleaning51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?no52. Are you nice to everyone?i try to be53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?yes54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?i have55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?yes56. Do you think you like someone?eh its complicated 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nope58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?either is fine just no drama59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?yes60. Do you hate anyone?sadly i do61. How’s your heart?eh62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?theres a few things63. Have you ever cried over a guy?no64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?lol someone whos name starts with a c but is always texting me late at night wanting to talk 😂65. Are your toenails painted pink?no66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?i hope not67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?i wouldnt think so unless they r twisted and love seeing them sad68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?nope but they almost have lol69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?probably my mom lol70. How do you look right now?relaxed71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?yes theres a few actually 72. Can you commit to one person?yes73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?yes74. Have you ever felt replaced?all the time75. Did you wake up cranky?sometimes76. Are you a jealous person?unfortunately i am77. Are relationships ever worth it?mine havent been 78. Anyone you’re giving up on?im trying79. Currently wanting to see anyone?yes80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sleep81. Last person you cried in front of?cant remember bc i dont usually cry in front of people82. Is there someone you will never forget?yup83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?no they talk shit/make up shit about me to their friends 😂84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?hopefully showing her what she means to me and knowing the feelings were reciprocated85. Are you over your past?some things yeah86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?kinda87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?@thishailee and @queenddl know me better than i know me 😂88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?dont think that would happen since im the one who fucked up with her and two were still good friends so no need for her to apologize. but yes i could never stay mad at her for anything, she put up with so much of my bullshit and is the reason im here today.89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?yes90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?ive dated people my friends hated91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?probably not92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?yup93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?nope94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?last janurary? yes - were friends now but not talk everyday close. this janurary? no im single.95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?at the time i thought i was but no i wasnt96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?yes97. Who do you have texts from?a few people98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?they just said this and i didnt say anything lol. i already know its not gonna work out 😂99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?no100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?no one101. Ever kissed under fireworks?nope102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?yes and she knows

[dykedykegooses]

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

:)

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W  C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

no

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

[thataspdfeel]

I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.

i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot

also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork

god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical

my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead

lmao i love eyes can you tell

they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude

my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude

they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up

my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets

bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!

so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them

husband:

cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)

extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke

a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming

he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway

on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg

he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours

he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason

adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry

drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good

has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing

has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster

dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly

SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him

is amazing at caling me down holy fuck

wife:

met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since

she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)

SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS

she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes

and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)

she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing

we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented

OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR

i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them

an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her

an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends

she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her

she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry

her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing

she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset

we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection

she’s a goddamned goof and i love it

my boyfriend:

motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it

we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind

recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful

he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)

so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)

he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it

he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable

he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)

he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it

got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery

the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things

he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed

like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him

his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious

one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it

motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck

he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable

things all three have in common that i love:

good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps

idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk

kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common

love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful

creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away

beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)

husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke

so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare

they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book

can hold lively, in depth discussions about things

hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things

wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it

boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck

very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful

like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice

they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)

i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???

i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel

ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats