#and im just an awkward person i don't like putting myself out there much

[vryfmi]

talk shop tuesday my beloved ♡(｡- ω -) when you create art, what is it that you aim to capture? like what is the primary thing you want people who view your art to notice and appreciate about it?

tough question, because it doesn't exactly align with my art process or mentality

im not drawing for other people or any "audience" in mind. im drawing stuff that i like and sometimes share it. if others like it and engage with it - it's a nice bonus, i really appreciate it, but im not putting much of expectation on receiving a specific type of feedback.

regarding art itself.

since im only drawing fanart of preexisting characters, i try to capture their likeness and character. naturally i have my own spin on them, headcanons that i project onto their designs (e.g. lucy having uneven hair bc it gets burned by ectoplasm; lockwood's colour being purple and me drawing him wearing that one scarf; the entirety of skull's design bc books only gave us 3 lines of description) which may contrast with or highlight aspects of said character, but it depends on whom you're asking.

in general, not just fanart sense, i try to walk the line between stylisation and realism in my artstyle. also i cheated and asked my friends, they said emotions and composition are something they notice all the time, so there you have it

[serejae]

TAKE A CHANCE WITH ME | BND

WHAT ? - BND TRYING TO REKINDLE WHAT THEY HAD (P1)

WHEN ? - (warning) this is not a REAL display of the members im just doing this for weeping entertainment:) cursing

WHO ? - (a/n) i had a lot of mixed reactions whether to make a p2 or not but here we are!! i love niki sm

uncapitalization intended and not proofread

theres a theory that you will always meet the same person twice

P.SUNGHO ;

as soon as he turned around and made eye contact with you he knew he had a decision to make. either leave you alone or try and attempt to fix what you two had. and one thing Sungho didn't want to do was admit he didn't try when he had the chance to. he didn't care if his friends looked at him weirdly when he suddenly got up from the table and walked away. everything was a blur now, he didn't know what he was doing but his brain went on autopilot and took charge. when he finally stood in front of you he snapped back into reality, at this point your table had gone quiet as well. he stared at you and you stared back at him in silence.

"can we...uhm talk?" he said scratching the back of his neck as his voice died down with each word. to avoid the awkward situation your friends were in you just nodded and walked out of the bar with sungho. the first 3 seconds which felt like minutes were just of uncomfortable silence until he spoke up.

"i'm sorry, no i'm really sorry. i don't-

you were right that day that you left, that i didn't pull my weight and it was wrong of me to even get mad at you for wanting a healthy relationship but it was even worse of me to let you leave not knowing how much i love and value you. i'm not ask for forgiveness now or to be taken back i just want you to know that i realize how ashamed i am for how i acted that night and how i do love you

so much. "

he whispered that last part but you heard it clearly. "thank you for that, it's nice for peace of mind but this is a lot...i'll call you once i made up my mind" you said to which he nodded with a closed smile knowing he knows that you know he loves you (still)

L.RIWOO ;

he couldn't speak, if he did his first words would probably be tears. you spoke up to interrupt the silence. "here's...your things" you said to which he looked up at you, and he moved out of the way. you just stood there though not knowing what he meant "can you put it on the counter?" he asked quietly not wanting his voice to shake, you walked in put the box on the counter, and turned around ready to leave. you told yourself two things, drop the box and go. he held your shoulder, not in a rough way but rather in a desperate way. "don't you want your things?" he asked

shit. you forgot about that

"uh yeah," he emptied the box of his things and you picked it up walking into the bedroom. you walked into the closet and started putting your stuff in the box with your back facing him

"i'm sorry."

you freeze at his words, please don't do this riwoo.

"i took these last days to reflect upon myself and us and...i understand why you wanted to leave. i clearly wasn't healed and you didn't deserve to be treated like that, it was selfish of me to always blame you when it was really me. we both know I'm still not ready for a relationship but if your willing to

will you wait for me to heal?"

you turned to look at him and could see some remorse in his eyes

"i can try."

M. JAEHYUN ;

jaehyun couldn't do it anymore. he couldn't live his life normally as he did since there was no more you. he had to see you one more time

even if it meant it was the last time

jaehyun spent the whole week reciting the moment, what he would say what he would bring. what he would do. unfortunately for him, things weren't going according to plan, he had a last-minute online meeting and the only way he would make it to your favorite cafe and flower shop on time before they closed was if he arrived in the clothes he was wearing currently. a worn-out t-shirt and some sweatpants, he could've done it another day but today would've been your 1st anniversary if you had stayed together. he wanted to make it...special

after scrambling in the lines and traffic he had gotten the cafe goods and the flowers. so there he was at your door. he didn't know where his confidence went. so he just stood there, impulsively he knocked rather harshly and almost ran until he saw you open the door. it sounds dramatic but after 3 days he had forgotten your face, scent, and voice, he was just deprived of you. "yes jaehyun?" you asked

what happened to his week of planning?

why was he failing miserably now?

why was he about to cry a river?

"i miss you a lot." thats about all he was able to get out

"jaehyun we talked about why i had to leave"

"i cut her off! I promise! i'm sorry i didn't realize it sooner, i just thought that was normal but clearly it was not. one more chance please, I'll cut off anyone you want me too" he said on the verge of tears.

"it wasn't about cutting people off silly, i just wanted you to set some boundaries with her"

"i'm sorry i just let you leave before realizing how right you were about her and defending her so stupidly without seeing your side and now i understand how weird and wrong of me it was and i understand why you felt the way you felt. i'll set all the boundaries you want, we can just be friends i just need you back in my life"

you could tell by his eyes and tone that he was sincere with his words and was desperate to have you back

"lets start off fresh jaehyun"

H. TAESAN ;

taesan didn't know how to approach this. he didn't know whether to scream out his love for you or to do it simply, either way his mind was like a fish out of water without you, just spinny spin. he knew you weren't the type to forgive easily and he was okay with that, especially with how he treated you.

taesan was rather calm with his approach as he knew that he would have to do some groveling. he picked up flowers and a plush and knocked on your door. when you opened the door and saw who it was you closed it immediately, he expected it so he let out a deep sigh of disappointment and decided he'll try again tomorrow. as he picked up his head and was about to turn he felt water on his face, he stood there shocked for a second before realizing what you were doing. you were spraying him with water to punish him, when you stopped he opened his eyes to see your barely visible smirk. you spray him one last time before closing the door. he stood there trying to process everything before you opened the door again for the third time, except much calmer

"how can i help you?"

he stared at you drenched "i'm sorry for just letting you go like that, i should've valued you more-"

"restart"

"what?"

"you heard me"

"i'm sorry for hurting-"

"i will spray you again"

"I'm sorry for being a asshole and not realizing how much you meant to me before you actually left. I'm sorry for taking so long to realize that i love you and you were actually all i needed on those days i shut everyone out. I'll work on communication but i do trust you and do want to tell you everything i feel."

he was going to speak again until he felt another spray of water on his face, wiping away the water he could see your smile now

"come inside, you have a lot of explaining to do"

K.LEEHAN ;

after losing you leehan stopped craving the attention of anyone else but you. he stopped going to areas he knew would attract his fangirls. one of the places he avoided most was parties despite his friends still inviting him. this one day he felt it in his gut to go. he didn't know what would happen but he knew it needed to happen. there just so happened to be a party that day.

after he had gotten ready he pep-talked himself in the mirror and gave himself on last look before leaving. at the party, his friends were hyped that he finally came to one in months. his friend brought him over to the balcony to talk and he saw that there were no one there besides 2 people standing against the railing. his friend stood against the railing and was talking, to which leehan didn't pay much attention to until his friend caught a glimpse of the other person standing at the balcony and excused himself to go catch up with this person leaving leehan and one other person. he looked over and caught a quick glimpse before taking a double take.

it was you. you looked over too and smiled warmly before looking back.

he may be delusional but this had to be his gut feeling.

"i haven't seen you at these parties lately" you spoke up playing with your nails

"yeah, i just didn't want to go" he said scratching the back of his head "after our..." he continued

"i know, i know" you quietly laughed

"I'm really sorry, you know?" he started while looking over at you he saw you look at him and got that feeling in his stomach. this was definitely his gut feeling

"over these months i took time to reflect and set my priorities straight and understood how not okay it was to just treat you like that. you mean more to me than anything and i was too busy being satisfied with proving to myself that you loved me when in reality i didn't have to make you go through all of that." he felt you grab his wrist and looked up at you, he saw you look over and turned to see where you were looking. both of your guy's friends returned with their mouths dropped at what they had heard

you looked over at leehan "lets go on a walk yeah"

he nodded with a smirk on his face

K. WOONHAK ;

woonhak was particularly sulky today, he couldn't get you and your relationship out of his mind. i mean he couldn't daily but today it was just more extreme.

to clear his mind he decided to go for a walk, as he walks he noticed a figure walking towards him on their phone. as the blurry figure got closer he realized its you

as you almost walked past him he gasped when his suspicions were confirmed. you looked up because of the rather loud gasp and realized who it was.

"yn!" he said instinctively grabbing your hand into his and in return, you grab his back. "please just 5 minutes, you don't have to take me back i just need to explain myself.

you stare at him for a second before nodding and continuing to walk. he may have let out a little 'yipee! ^-^' but he ran to catch up to you and wasted no time

-

closure

sense of peace

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[wasyago]

okay don't mind me just gonna ramble for a second haha-

(this was originally going to be under the drawing, but it got too long, and i can't add it in a reblog because both things are on queue, so separate post it is)

i just love how every time i start a drawing im like "well alright, just a quick sketch yea? no color, maybe some gray to white gradient and that's it, okay?". and then i start drawing (and obviously it takes longer than i thought because duh) and i go "okay but- i gotta at least do the flat colors, right? just the flats- maybe even some random colors to not spend too much time on it--". and then. of course. i do the flats, and im pretty happy with the result yeah? looks simple but not too simple, like it has some color some personality to it, but its not over the top so. so, i leave the drawing i go to get some water and start on an actual piece, and when i come back and take a look at what i drew its like, "well. listen. listen-- yeah im still pretty happy with how it looks but, but. it could be a little better, yea?" and then i sit down, put my water down, put my other drawing to the side, and i sit there making this quick sketch look better. "oh i don't like the colors anymore! but its all on one layer now so i can't exactly change them, plus i still like the idea, so maybe some filters? yeaj some filters on top will do!" (and of course its a yellow shade filter, because im original like that and 90% of my drawings don't also have it on). and then i add them filters and i think" well maybe some bounce light now? surely it already looks better with the filter but its kinda flat, and i want to bring *a little bit* of the original color in" so i add the bounce light, but now it looks out of place! shocker! so i decide that surely i can maybe add some grass at the bottom to hide the edge of the drawing a little. and well, alright, grass looks good, but its too dark, brings a lot of attention to it! and i can't exactly make it lighter, so, the logical choice would be to make the characters darker too, bring some contrast into the thing! and lets just do all the values while we're at it, why not! patterns to the horse, make the pants and skin darker, yes yes. and, oh- but now the eyes are lost because there's more dark hues! gotta make a new layer on top and make them eyes a little bit darker, maybe also color the bandana red and not brown so it looks special, hm? oh and! while we're on this top layer, lets also fix up the hair a little, maybe add some blush... oh and the straps of the saddle look weird, gotta fix those too! oh man and not that i look at it-- the head is too big! lets merge all the layers together and start that same thing over again! yes yes make the head a little smaller, yeah looks much better now! oh, better add some fading as well, to make it fit in the background a little, oh and some glow, suuure sure, and some lights in the eyes, and-

(and now that im looking at it, i realize that i somehow didn't save the final version????? like, i did a lot more to the thing, fixed up the saddle and that awkward shade oh his knee, and the grass-- i wont fix it now because NOW im too lazy to do it for some reason, but yeah, a bit unfortunate u_u)

anyways, point being, love art, art is pog, wish i cared a little less about it sometimes, but it also turnes this into this (imagine me pointing at the drawings as i say that, overly dramatic and sounding a little annoyed with myself)

[mizugucci]

onf in chicago

hi yall im finally posting my account of seeing onf in chicago!!!! its only like 4 days late... like i said best day ever!!! below are all my notes + a bunch of photos, please forgive what i look like lol but i was so happy :)

for those that know me, know this was a HUGE deal. so of course this is going to be very long and detailed. luckily for most of my followers ill be putting it under a readmore <3

so i bought the highest tier ticket for obvious reasons, so ill just so chronologically:

first was sound check and they did ugly dance and i could NOT believe i was seeing onf in the flesh. im pretty sure i died and went to heaven then and there

once they were done with soundcheck, they did the hi-touch and group photo. the actual practice was messy but it was fun so i don't think people minded. i dont remember anything except that for whatever reason, i was legitimately the FIRST PERSON and it was a lot lmao

additionally during the group photo i had wyatt to myself lol i froze for a second but he was so kind and polite, he asked what pose i wanted to do and i dont remember if i responded or not but we did a little heart together <3

then the fansign happened and i dont remember the majority of it, partly bc i was a flustered idiot lol but i got my complete album signed!!!! life goal met for sure. wyatt i remember specifically thinking again how kind and polite he was, idr seungjun/etion but i got to hyojin and he had his hand up kind of for a highfive and i gave him the album and tried to high five at the same time it was. very awkward LOL he thought it was funny (i hope) then yuto complimented my kitty cat ears!!! i remember saying something stupid and being an idiot in front of minkyun too but. what can we do

finally was the long anticipated fanchat!!! i had my fanchat with yuto obviously and it was nerve wracking as hell but i love him so much i powered through and i hope he got something out of our conversation

the photo that we took & he signed was my best one of the night, so im really happy with how that turned out. its going to be my treasure for a long time to come:

anyway first thing i want to note is that we were sitting at high tables for the talk, but he couldnt even sit without the table dwarfing him so he stood the whole time LMAO my short king i love him so much

so after we took the photo i sat down and honestly im not sure how much he understood the first half, bc he didnt react/respond and he was slightly confused about english in the 2nd half but ANYWAY i told him i was so so proud of him, how far he's come and especially weathering the time of being alone during military era... lots of gushy stuff lol

then i asked him what b-side he liked dancing to the most and he was SO CUTE when he cocked his head and went "b-side?" so it took a moment to get my point across and he was like ohhhh, umm fly me to the moon! and i almost made a total fool of myself reacting LOL bc as some of you know, fly me to the moon is literally my favorite ONF b-side. of all time. and partly due to yuto's center dance break with the saxophone.

yuto was confused but excited when i reacted (like i audibly gasped) and i said omg thats my favorite too!!! and he got so happy and i even proved it further being like, *points to u* dance break center! saxophone! and he nodded a bunch and was so excited lmao

i think he was also surprised at being a favorite, especially when he asked me when i became a fan and i said end of 2017 (which was true i was a fan, but became a stan in jan of 2019) and he seemed impressed! then our chat had ended there and i almost passed out afterwards haha

then we all had to leave the venue again before the concert started. i met a lot of really cool people that day so some of us went across the street to dunkin. had fun lmao

the concert started and my GOD minkyun's mic was on!!!!! and how does he always have so much energy??? also i had the lightstick and was having the time of my life screaming along lol they were fantastic incredible showstopping etc etc i tried to take some videos but i was just vibing (and shaking) too much i had to give up. but it was so nice to finally go to a concert that i had the lightstick for

went into the concert with solid 3rd bias (etion) and came out of it 3rd bias as seungjun lol. theres a lot to talk about song-wise but ill save that for later. in short, i almost cried when they did bye my monster. and tmwl. and byubyu.

also elle i did record asteroid for you (not that its a good video, or one that ill share...) but it did remind me of you lol! they did difficult & moscow moscow which were both surprises to me but very welcome. all day as well was fantastic!

about halfway thru the concert (but not the ballad section) i had given up on videos so i was just rocking out w the lightstick & i pretended to hit hyojins high note with the lightstick as a microphone until someone that i met nudged me & looked up to see seungjun staring at me

it was sooo funny the facial expression he was making. i cant even describe it but once we made eye contact it was like he smiled slowly literally like the grinch and went 'hehe' to make sure i knew he saw me doing that LOL

so i knew i had to get a snapshot with him that showcased the lightstick:

theres so much more about the concert but its all mainly about the songs & the fact i finally saw them live. but i do need to mention the fact goosebumps was practically a rave lmao loved it

after the concert was the group photo selfie which was really cool but would be better if my phones camera wasnt absolute shit & they did a more flattering angle...

dont let this photo fool you, they are short kings (im as tall or taller than multiple of them, minkyun & wyatt are the only ones i remember being taller than me. wyatt was surprising)

i didnt really say anything memorable during snapshots bc i was just so star-struck, but i do remember wyatt going out of his way to be nice lol also i saw yuto multiple times & i was sooo mad there was only a few of us that bought premium snapshot for him. i also got along well with minkyun and highfived him again. i let most of the members choose their poses. yes i got multiple mks. yes i made him do cat ears.

and here are all the others. i got at least 1 type of snapshot with each of the members

anyway tl;dr best day of my life, its only downhill from here! unless they announce another tour... we shall see... im so glad they're getting so much love from fuse, i know we (both onf and fuses) have been waiting for a long time

im also very happy that there really is no reason NOT to have overseas tours... we've already beat the 7 year curse & completed military. the world is onf's oyster and i cant wait to see what they do going forward <3

[snowflakeb0ttles]

going to vent for a smidge about #aroace #problems bear with me, it is quite long so its under the cut 👍 if any1 wants to chime in feel free

i think being aroace (but more specifically aro for this conversation) is incredibly frustrating and alienating. i can't relate to friends who get crushes, find people attractive, and want to date, or even just most content out there that includes romance in some way because i simply have not ever felt that type of way before, and nobody can explain romantic attraction in any kind of way that makes sense.

when people describe it, it tends to be things like 'you think about them a lot' or 'you want to spend time with them/live with them/do courtship activities with them' or 'you get happy when they talk to you' etc etc which never makes any sense because thats just...friends? but people insist that they aren't the same thing, and that there's some hidden feeling that you'll just "know when you feel it"

the ambiguity of any relationship doesn't help either. you could do "romantic" activities with friends, and you could do exclusively "platonic" activities with someone you'd consider a romantic partner, so like ?? it feels a little bit insane 2 me.

i've "romantically" dated 2 people before, and ended both relationships myself because it honestly felt no different than being friends with someone. but you can't 'just' be friends with someone you're dating, because friendship is somehow lesser, because dating is different somehow, and they would be offended.

i love my friends a lot, and id do pretty much anything for any of them. if they wanted to live together or do traditional relationship things in that vein i would obviously say yes. i care about them a lot and i struggle so much to visualize anything that could somehow be "better" or "more important" than a good friendship with someone cause to me, that's already the best there is. this is not the case for most people, and in their mind, friendship isn't worth the same as romance (often less so), so they'd never understand that at least in my case, romance and friendship are on very equal and similar footing.

it's absolutely wild to me that someone can know a person for a short amount of time and suddenly have that person be their whole world, put above any friends either of them might've known for much longer, effectively putting those friends on the back burner from then onwards. it doesn't necessarily feel. like a good thing? for anyone involved? for the people dating, they now have their significant other, but also strained awkward friendships, and for the friends, they'd just feel shafted and unimportant. (for the record, i've not experienced this (yet), just heard it secondhand about friend's friends).

i made a post on reddit yesterday (i know, i know) asking for opinions on why there's this weird hierarchy in terms of relationships (in an attempt to understand better), and so far the general consensus, at least from other aro/ace people, is that they don't understand it either, and that thats just "how it is" for allo people. (i also had someone tell me i shouldn't be close friends with allo people if i don't want to be upset by it which like. lol. lmao even)

someone explained it as people just functioning differently, and compared it to how an allistic person cannot ever fully "grasp" how an autistic person functions and vise versa. this admittedly does help put it into perspective a bit more, but it's still incredibly frustrating that i can't, and probably won't ever fully understand it.

im not fully sure where i wanted to go with this but yeah. it's frustrating. it sucks. who knows

[echantedtoon]

Love Is Blind Ch7 What We Need

(Warnings: Kagaya's scars and illness mentioned. Mentioning of Kagaya's face getting burnt by a firework by Muzan.

This spans over a few months too with a time skip of two years later near the end. Apologies for short chapter.)

Two months passed. Two awkward tense months after that entire incident with Muzan. After you had been put in the entire spot. And you didn't know what to do.. You didn't know what to do or what to think. Your brain was a mixture of jumbled up dread and blankness and disbelief and shock of what happened mixed in with absolute anger at both Muzan and  Mr. Kotoya for what they both did and what they said to you. But then there was another feeling in there..A gentle feeling. A fluttering feeling. 

Soft hands slowly came down to hold yours, making you jump out of your thoughts and look up. Kagaya smiled at you from his place on the bench. A very comforting and soothing presence that instantly chased off any unwanted dread from your mind. The warm summer breeze washing over the best of you before you smiled back, hand slowly closing back around his, and then you leaned over just enough to place your head affectionately on his shoulder. In response his own head slowly bowed against yours. Silence except the chirping birds and babbling spring in the garden interrupted the blissful peace. It was pure bliss.

"Y/n," a soft voice called out to you. "Are you alright? You have been distant lately, and it seems you have been deeply bothered by something even more than before." You paused.. before frowning despite his hand squeezing a bit firmer. "Please tell me what has been bothering you.It has been weighing on my mind so much."

There was more silence with your silence and the dread coming back to swirl into your stomach until you sighed and gently pulled away from Kagaya. Meeting his worried eyes pleadingly staring at you begging for an answer. Should you tell him? You didn't want to cause him trouble or pain or worry. It seemed like he already had enough to worry on his shoulders as it was. You were just planning on pushing through until the end of the year as per the deal before breaking the news to him but...

"I don't want to worry you with my problems."

"Your problems are mine as I may have caused them. Please don't feel as if you cannot share your burdens with me, Y/n."

You hesitated regarding the blind man in front of you now before sighing and looking away. "...I don't think we should be married or together for that matter."

Again silence once resumed outside the hum of nature. You kept your gaze on the ground at your feet guiltily unable to look him in the eyes despite the fact he probably couldn't tell you weren't looking at him at all.

"I see," he spoke slowly and he didn't sound mad. Instead he tilted his head at you. "Is there any particular reason you think that?"

"A lot of reasons actually." You frowned harder staring at your lap and his hands still holding yours. "But mostly it's how Im being treated. And that's another thing! Everyone keeps saying how kind and caring and helpful I am like I'm some kind of personal assistant. It's nice but I don't want to be complimented like a personal assistant! I want to be complimented as a partner! I want someone to tell me that my eyes are pretty! That I look wonderful! I want to hear someone tell me how beautiful they think my smile is! Or how smart they think I am! I feel like I can't do that with you." For the first time since you started talking, you finally looked at Kagaya who's calm expression did not change. "I want to be able to do things with my husband! I want to go places and see things with him! I want to do things like dance and go on walks together and hold each other! I'm not able to do anything like that with you! I can't even do things by myself anymore!! I can't go anywhere because I have to take care of you! I can't step outside for more than ten minutes without someone asking me where you are or how you're feeling or your grandfather scolding me for not being by your side every waking moment I have! It's like I'm not even my own person anymore! No one outside of you cares to ask how I feel or if I'm ok! Sometimes..." You really deflated on the verge of crying and feeling terrible again. "Sometimes I wonder why the gods gave me your name. Was it just because I'm an herbalist? Is this what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life? Just...keep quiet about all my unhappiness and grin and bare this fate of becoming a caregiver forever?....This isn't what I wanted"

You were expecting a lot of reactions out of him. Anger. Disappointment. Hurt. Guilt. Maybe hatred towards you. All of which you wouldn't blame him for. But instead there was more silence and to your shock something touched your face. A soft hand cupping your face.

"Y/n, please look at me." You didn't want to. You already felt so bad and guilty for unleashing all your feelings on him. But the insistent hand on your cheek won out and you turned to look at his eyes again. They held nothing but kind and understanding. "Y/n, I am so sorry you have been through all of this and I am sorry if I have caused any of this stress on your life. But.." his thumb gently ran over the underside of your eye and you just now realized that you were lightly crying. "I am so relieved you finally shared this with me. You are not wrong for feeling the way you did and I don't blame you for anything. Thank you for telling me."

You sniffled reaching out to rub your face on your sleeve as two arms gently wrapped around your body and gently pulled your form against his own in a hug. Relief but feeling bad still ran through your body as he hugged you to comfort you.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

You shook your head against him. "N-No. Don't apologize. I-It's not your fault." Your eyes stared down at his shirt before you just sighed. "It's just that I don't think I'm ready for this big of a commitment to my life yet."

Kagaya paused, and blinked at something you said. "Yet?"

You nodded leaning into him making him blink surprised. "I do like you. You're the most beautiful man I've ever met...but I'm just not ready for this big of a step in my life yet. There's still things I want to do for myself. So this isn't a no." Arms reached out to hug him back. "It's just a not now."

Kagaya's eyes widened to the size of plates in surprise but soon after smiled fondly at him. "I understand completely. You deserve to live your life fully...For that I'll release you from the deal you made."

You shook your head. "N-No. I made a promise to stay until the end of the year, and I want to spend more time with you before I go home and fulfill my wants."

"Are you sure? I will not make you stay if you don't want to. I won't make you feel pressured to stay just because of an agreement I said you didn't have to fulfil anymore."

You nodded smiling. "Yes. I'm sure. I already feel better now that we understand each other better. I only hope Mr. Kotoya won't be angry with me."

"Why would he be angry with you? You've been nothing but kind." You again hesitated. "Please tell me. I do not want anyone to make you feel bad."

"...The day Muzan came to see you." He paused against you. "He told me it was my obligations to marry you and give you children no matter what and to not forget it and that the gods put me here for that reason. I just... Didn't want you to be angry with your grandfather because of me-"

You fell silent as he held up a hand to your face in a sign to stop. "Do not say that again. If I get angry with him then it won't be because of you. It'll be because of the vile way he's treated you. I'm going to be having a VERY serious talk with him and everyone else about their treatment of you. I assure you that this will not be happening again. From anyone especially my own family."

...You leaned back to look at Kagaya. "Why do you hate Muzan so much anyways? He's very rude but it seems like you have a deep hatred for him."

Kagaya fell silent once again before he exhaled through his nose and closed his eyes. "He is the who rendered me blind."

Your mouth fell open in shock. "What? How?"

"When we were younger he had gotten a hold of some fireworks and set them off. One went off in my face burning my eyes."

You looked at him in pity. He was expecting that reaction from you but didn't expect your hands to cup his face. Running gently over the purpled flesh before stopping on his cheeks once more. A smile gracing your face. 

"Well I still think you're beautiful. My opinion will not change."

Kagaya felt his heart skip a beat and his face heat up as he felt her leaning in. 

She thought he was beautiful. It's what no other woman had told him before. Not since his mother before her death. He felt that. He would appreciate that about her as she left that winter to fulfill her own life. And he would always wait for that appreciation that she had to come back with her but for now...

In this moment...

He would savor the feeling of warmth of her.

You were both closer than he remembered. Just a few inches from one another twinkling under the sunlight. And you blinked at the sudden closeness too. Face going a dim pink and a few chuckles from the moment escaping you. Barely anyone was outside now, too busy inside mingling, eating the food, and other things. So it was just you two. Alone out here with nothing but each other for company. His mind felt completely blank and numb but in a good way, compelling him to reach his hands up and cup a cheek of yours something his rational brain wouldn't allow himself to do. Inches away now. You didn't move away.

He held the woman in front of him, this silly silly woman with the beautiful kindness and the cute smile. If he was watching this as an outsider, he would've laughed at how they were literally just strangers less than a while ago, but right now it didn't seem any of that or anything else mattered. Not even the topic they had been discussing just a few seconds ago. The wind blew some more rustling the flower petals and driving the intoxicating sweet scents from the garden around them more. And blowing some of that pretty hair into his face, which she immediately reached to pull away and Kagaya made no move to stop her from doing that. Or removing the hand that now cupped his cheek. Maybe it really was a mutual madness they both shared or some form of chaos in their lives, but right now....With them being so close...And so vulnerable. It was only natural of course-.. It's what soulmates do-.. Of course they would since-...

They kissed.

-TWO YEARS LATER-

The overarching flowers outstretched their petals looming overhead as arms getting ready to embrace the people below in their soft petals falling down from above as shining gifts from the heavenly tops of the trees. 

It was like heaven. Staring up at nothing but beautiful cherry blossoms hanging down from the air as leaves blocked out most of the rest of the light but still patches of that beautiful sun flowed down in small splotches peeling through the trees and their heavenly flowers like shy mice. The aroma of the flowers filling this area right out of a fairytale and the small animals running amongst the flora only added to that heavenly fairytale image. A mother crow and her two young chicks peeped out from a nest overhead signalling the start of another spring. Bringing life and hope after a long hard winter once more. The beautiful mother put attention on her children before looking at the man sat under the tree silently. 

A hand held out.

A moment later the mother left her peeping chicks in favor of temporary sitting herself on soft fingers. Feathers ruffled up and a coo of affectionate leaving her as a gentle hand smoothly ran across her head.

"You've done such a good job tending to your little ones. Now we have two new children to add to our family. The width of my family seems to grow every year around this time."

White pretty orbs crinkled up in a smile as the bird cooed and leaned into his hands but stopped and looked up. As did he. With a slight turn of his head as soft footsteps stepped through the blades of grass before stopping before him. Silence rang one more other than the breeze. It brought the sounds of rustling leaves. The aromas of fragrant flowers and freshly cut grass. The distant smells of wysteria clinging to a girl who made the long journey all the way up the mountain to see him smiling.

"Can you tell me what colors this beautiful creature is?" The hand raised up slowly to not jostle the mother bird resting on his index finger.

"A shining ebony like your hair. No doubt this bird is a crow."

"Very good. They're often mistaken for ravens."

"With your knowledge you can easily tell the difference." The sent of wysteria become stronger and then there was a softness holding his cheek. "But then again you always had a knack for knowing things."

A smile leaned into the hand smiling wider. A few chuckles escaping from his throat. "That's why I knew you would come back to me."

[tetskuro]

hello! thanks so much for this in advance but if for some reason you don’t feel like doing my matchup feel free to lmk! no hard feelings at all:)

i would love a haikyuu matchup! any gender is fine, i’m bisexual:) i use she/her pronouns & i’d like a romantic matchup if that’s ok!

okay so for my personality i tend to be really shy when meeting new people. i have a tendency to get really quiet & just kind of stand there awkwardly trying to make conversation 😭 but after i’ve gotten to know someone i tend to be more relaxed. i try really hard to be a good listener to my friends. i would consider myself kind, like the giving someone shotgun in the car & offering to bring people things when they’re sick type. with my closest friends i’m very honest and blunt about certain things but i also try to be sensitive to their feelings. i’ve been described as very comforting and warm to be around by my friends:) i have multiple anxiety disorders so sometimes i can come off as unapproachable but it’s not intentional, i just freak & zone out 😭 i guess the best way to describe me is in the type of person to be straight up when necessary but i’ll also be very sensitive and sweet. i get really frustrated when people are mean to my friends. when those around me get hurt physically and/or mentally by someone it makes me really angry, i’m very protective over the people around me. some people would consider me confrontational but in reality i actually despise confrontation 😭 i just put up a strong front when it’s necessary. i have a hard time being super emotionally vulnerable with new people due to past experiences but i also have a really poor tendency to overshare & then overthink every social interaction afterward 😭 i tend to have kind of dry sarcastic humor at times but i’m super willing to change it up if someone doesn’t like it

i love spending time w my friends! we do lots of things like swim, shop, watch movies, play games. i love socializing with my friends & i do really enjoy meeting new people (in small groups)!! i love film, reading, making beaded bracelets, listening to music (lots of pop, im a huge taylor swift fan), & recently i’ve started building miniatures which is cool:) i have a lot of pets including chickens, bunnies, dogs, cats, & a lizard (i’m a huge cat & bunny person!) i love long form tv shows like glee, greys anatomy, gilmore girls, criminal minds, etc.

i’d want someone who wouldn’t want to like. use me for my body? if that makes sense? i’ve had many people just go for me physically & then when they realize i’m an actual human being with emotions and feelings they dip 😭 and someone who’s kind and willing to put in the work for me. i want someone who wouldn’t judge me for my feelings and emotions. idk i fear that’s the bare minimum but whatever!

ideal first date / hangout would be something casual but cute like getting milkshakes & watching the sunset on the water & just talking but yknow like you hold hands and lay your head on the others shoulder & then they kiss you at your door. just cute and simple:)

thank you!! sorry this was so long 😭

your matchup is...

iwaizumi hajime

⭑ iwaizumi's honesty is refreshing and he's just a very genuine individual

⭑ he admires your kind and considerate nature and how you're always looking out for your friends

⭑ iwaizumi can also be a pretty blunt person and he admires your straightforwardness as well; he's a big believer of tough love

⭑ he relates to your protectiveness as well

⭑ iwaizumi would enjoy your dry sarcastic humor and you'd get a lot of chuckles and laughs out of him

⭑ your first encounter with him might be a little awkward since i don't think he's the type of person to open up super quickly

⭑ but once you start talking more often, you'd be comfortable with each other in no time

⭑ iwaizumi finds all of your pets so cool and they'd take a liking to him as well

⭑ he thinks your hobby of building miniatures is super interesting and would just watch you put them together

⭑ omg i could see him complaining about how long some shows are but when you catch him watching an episode with you over your shoulder, who's the one invested now?

⭑ iwaizumi seems like someone who'd like a casual first date (because i can see him getting stressed out from the pressure of making it perfect) so getting milkshakes and watching the sunset together sounds wonderful

⭑ he'd have a cute blush on his face if you rested your head on his shoulder and try his hardest not to move so that you can stay in your comfy position

your matchup runner-up is akaashi keiji

[imperfectnothing]

is it ok if i can ask for a bit more info on how kay is personality wise ?

since im getting more of a grasp on imu ( i . basically flipped their name ) i do want to see if they’d maybe be close friends with kay ! ( and also im just like generally curious about him . i saw the blood and it made me anxious . . ) ok . i shall run back to my drafts to write more notes for them . love you rock and hope your having a good wednesday ! ( sprints away )

AH yes hello! I love you, too, Apri, and I hope *you* have a wonderful Wednesday! I'll start on Kay's personality but just one note, real quick- the picture with the blood (which i forgot to tag for whoops) is uh, well. That's Kay. As a child. That's his blood. So you don't need to worry about him being violent. He does malfunction occasionally but it rarely, if ever, causes him to be violent.

Kay is kind of goofy because he's a version of myself now combined with myself in middle school. He's far more socially inept than me (which is saying something because I don't think of myself as terribly socially savvy) and he is not as good with boundaries. He can be incredibly awkward and he's not good at approaching people, if someone wants or needs to talk to him, they are going to have to do the legwork on going up to him because he has been burned too many times before when it comes to putting himself out on a limb like that.

He's very similar to my younger self, when I was not as good at masking and not as aware of my "autistic" behaviors like infodumping and assuming people are being literal, more often than not. He's just as impulsive and crass as me but he tries really hard *not* to be, unwilling to accept that part of himself, which is another difference from me, because I've pretty much stopped caring about what people think of me . . . unless they're my friends, of course.

Sometimes, he'll also short-circuit and say something that doesn't make sense or is just incredibly out of pocket, but that's usually a system error causing his voice box to process the unwanted stimulus in a way that it can handle while it's resetting/fixing whatever problem is going on. He will also vocal stim but it's him using his database of different recorded sounds to make weird songs or playing one sound over and over because he really likes it.

I hpoe that this helps gives context and info, in way of Kay's personality!!

(note: his eyes, brain, trachea, and larynx are all artificial because they were irreparably damaged in the accident and had to be replaced. the rest of his body is organic though his heart/lungs are supplemented with technology, as well.)

(also fun fact! his talking voice claim is GlaDOS from Portal which only happened because @tsukacchako and @alien-til-i-stage were trying to convince me to do Siri or Auto from Wall-E as his voice but i caved because him having an obviously artifical voice is very funny to me . . . his singing voice claim is KafU tho)

[nian-7]

Heyo, I think matchup reqs are open but if not feel free to ignore (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

If it's alright I'd like a romantic and platonic match up for Pjsk and bsd (if not just romantic/ pjsk is fine)

Info:

My names Karma

I'm a minor, 17

I'm afab but I'm Genderfluid and use all pronouns

I'm pretty short for my age, 5’1 the last time I checked unfortunately, sobs. I don't get out much besides going to work for money so I'm pale as hell. I have freckles pretty much everywhere not a whole lot but they're definitely noticeable. I am cursed with a baby face, it gets better when I put on my glasses though, im cursed with terrible vision, I'm not allowed to drive without my glasses it's that bad

My hair is a shaggy wolf cut with curtain bangs, I'm a natural blonde but I always dye my hair ginger cause it's my favorite look on me (I'm trying to look like Chuuya cause I love him sm)

I'm an INFP-T, I'm also Asexual and Panromantic (slightly woman leaning but not an insane amount) I dress in dark academia style almost always: cardigans, sweater vests, long over coats paired with sweaters underneath. I'm very much trying to be that person you fall in love with in the book store 

When I'm in public alone I am very much socially awkward and anxious. I keep to myself and I am terrified of causing trouble for anyone

I tend to be drawn to more loud people; or more like popular/louder people adopt me out of the blue and I go along with it (which is funny considering I'm usually quiet) 

Once I've warmed up with people I very much match energys with whoever I'm with, typically just trying to make friends laugh. I value people's happiness very much

If we're out at a mall or something I'm quieter, but in private I can get very loud 

I also have a very close group of online friends all over the world (Some of us are meeting up soon and I'm very excited)

A lot of people have said that I also have big sister vibes

I do have diagnosed Anxiety and depression, typically I try not to let anyone see that side of me. I can spiral a bit into episodes where I just kind of ghost people and ride out whatever feelings I'm dealing with, then come back about 3-6 days later

I don't really do well with anger in general, weather it be my own or other people's

I also don't really have any appetite most of the time (I'm not sure if it's medical or not) but this can cause me sometimes to get super dizzy out of nowhere because I've forgotten to eat/drink 

I'm a digital artist, and I actually write fanfiction on Tumblr as well. I absolutely love cats, I’d talk about my cat Hazel for hours if I could (She's mean to me but I still love her </3) I also really like Vocaloid/Hatsune Miku music (kinda not surprising considering pjsk lol), I don't usually mention it in person though cause it's embarrassing to explain that shes just a singing hologram

I also have a fox obsession, I own a huge fox plush that takes up a designated corner of my room lol

I don't mind most things personality wise in people, but I do wish to be respected obviously

I like someone I can poke fun at casually and who can poke fun at me as well

My love language is big gift giving (wether it be buying or drawing occasionally) and physical affection (Cuddles always ╥⁠﹏⁠╥)

I've gotten tones of jokes that I only go for gingers, but I have zero preference for looks

I'm an overly patient person and get a little annoyed when people aren't as patient (but it's not a complete put off or anything) 

I also am very much someone who has to be on time. If I am not on time I lose it a bit

I think that's all (Maybe too much ´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`)

But thank you so much in advance! I hope you have an amazing day/week 💟

hi, anon! i haven't read bsd in a while so i'm a little rusty so i only did prsk. hope you still enjoy!

I match you with... (platonically)

Saki Tenma!

-The biggest thing for you to be matched with Saki was the big sister vibes that you mentioned. The dynamic would just be too cute to pass up on!

-I tried to pick a more 'loud' or extroverted person and although I decided to opt for Saki instead of Tsukasa, I think you both would mesh together even when she's not necessarily as loud as her brother.

-Saki is like the person you can fall back onto in social situations when you get anxious. She doesn't mind taking the lead and helping you out when you get nervous.

-She's not someone who gets angry often and tries to be there for you when you ghost her or others. She tries her best to understand what you're feeling and tries to sympathize with you.

-You both having the same energy is something that would make the whole friendship mesh well and she has the capabilities to be calmer or quieter if needed.

I match you with... (romantically)

Shizuku Hinomori!

-Although Shizuku is somewhat different than Saki, I think she's the best match overall. The physical affection she gives to you is one of the big factors.

-As someone who enjoys pda/affection, Shizuku would love to cuddle or hold hands with you all the time. She kisses you in public and just loves to be near you.

-She loves the gifts you give her as well no matter what they are. She'll always gush about them whenever someone asks about something relating to it (whether that embarrasses you or not).

-She's a very light teaser and it comes off more lovingly than anything but she enjoys it when her partner gives her attention through light teasing too.

-Although a bit airheaded, she's treating you similarly to Shiho. Asking always if you're hungry or thirsty, being the talker in public if you need it, etc. She just gives you more romantic affection than sisterly affection (obviously)

[falltothesun]

helloooo taking you up on that hook up advice offer !! especially since im also a trans guy & ive been considering grindr bcos i have been insanely needy the past week it's literally making it hard for me to function so yes!! please!!!!

Hi omg! So I definitely joined Grindr for the same reason, I needed to get dicked down so bad it was starting to affect my work lmfao. Huge disclaimer: this is all a bunch of stuff that works for me, from my experiences. There's no handbook, I'm figuring this out myself. If anyone wants to correct me/add on, please do.

First and foremost- don't settle. Grindr is a bit of a hellscape. In the moment it definitely seems like anyone willing to fulfill your needs is worth it. I'm speaking as a total sub/bottom so there were definitely guys on Grindr who 'spoke my language', offered what sounded like a good time, but didn't have my best interests at heart. You can't put much trust in any stranger on a hookup app, but here are some good indicators of things to watch out for and avoid:

- blank profiles/no pics. You're going to get a ton of them. Dick pics do not count. Make sure you have a good image of the person you're meeting. Make sure they're clean (both hygiene and std wise). Just- the more info you have on them, the better.

- being pushy. They're going to whine and whine about meeting up, and they are also going to say nasty things if you ignore them/turn them down. Do not let this guilt you. If this is how they receive boundaries over text- you can't trust them during a hookup. You don't owe anyone anything, not even a text back. A huge green flag is when you can have a no-pressure conversation, and sometimes even a pre-meetup to discuss boundaries and kinks.

Do not get stingy on your own boundaries! You are meant to enjoy this time, too. Tell them exactly what you want, your hard nos and hell yesses. Clear communication beforehand can lead to a fantastic night. Don't worry about blocking or turning down if you're getting bad vibes- there's literally dozens of guys waiting in your DMs, one of them has to be good.

Now, I have huge trust issues so bear with me here- you can't always count on your hookup, even if you found one that checks all the aforementioned boxes. So have some contingencies. Here are some of mine:

- two (or three) of my friends get a text as soon as I leave my house. Yes, it's awkward to mention to someone that you're about to fuck, but prior conversations have been had and usually I just say "I'm going out for x hours, call me if I don't get back to you by then". I send my location if possible (harder to do with carplay), and just like that, there are people waiting for my word. Hell, you can DM me your location and a timeframe and I will call the police in your area if I don't hear back from you.

- I never host. Is this controversial? I don't care. I'm a sub, bottom, afab, tiny human. I'm super susceptible to stalking and kidnapping (and not in the fun way), so I keep myself safe by making sure my hookups don't know where I live. I like to drive to their place, because then I have myself a getaway vehicle, or we meet in the middle somewhere. Regardless, my home is a secret and shall stay that way.

- don't bring anything valuable. Other than my phone and my wallet (which I sometimes just leave in my car), I bring nothing with me. This is less about personal safety and more about theft tho lol

-bring protection. Rawdogging is fun but STDs and pregnancy scares are not.

-this is Grindr specific but be careful with your photos. Grindr has a neat function called 'albums', and you can retract any sent albums at anytime so they can't be seen anymore. You also can't screenshot anything in the Grindr app. This protects you- to a point. But like anywhere else on the internet, be very, very careful with who you send your pics to.

Takes you by the shoulders. Listen to me. It is always okay to say no. You could be in someone's bed, naked, and you can say no. This sounds like common sense, but sometimes you're with a stranger in the moment and things aren't firing right in your brain, but your well-being is 100% a bigger priority than pleasing the guy you met on Grindr. They can bitch and moan all they want, but if you aren't feeling it, you aren't feeling it, and you don't owe sex to anyone. You can say no at any time. And anyone who fights you on it or disregards it is not someone you want to associate with.

Ok now that all the parental lecture-y stuff is out of the way- some general tips to show your hookup partner some respect! They're also in a place of vulnerability, so while it's good to be careful, it's also good to be gracious.

-protection. I said this already! But you can bring more than just a condom. Looking into PrEP, getting yourself tested(!!!!) after every encounter, and not having sex when you're sick is generally good etiquette. Getting tested is not only being a decent human for your hookup partner, but it's important to do for yourself as well. Idk what country you live in and what the healthcare is like so hopefully it's as easy as walking in to a clinic like it is here. Post-sec institutes (colleges/universities) usually have fantastic sexual health programs as well so I'd check there if you're in that demographic!

- clean up. Please. Shower, brush your teeth, put on some deodorant and a clean change of clothes. It goes a long way! My best hookups have been with a guy who smelled good, and I enjoyed it as much as I did the actual pounding in his backseat. Also clean up after the hookup! Shower, pee, etc. Hygiene. (I'm a germaphobe ok)

- boundaries! You've set yours, now stick to theirs. I've slept with guys who really didn't like blowjobs- so I didn't give any, we kept it junk to junk. I might've been the sub in the situation, but that doesn't mean the guy dominating was a sex machine who liked everything, so I accommodated that! Sometimes it's as simple as listening to the sounds they're making, reading the body language, and acting accordingly. If they aren't being enthusiastic about what's happening, then maybe it's time to check in.

- text back. Hey man, if it was a good fuck, it was a good fuck. NSA is usually my style, but there's nothing wrong with hooking up again with the same mf if it was a damn good time. Give 'em some feedback, tell them you had a fantastic night, ask about doing it again. Everyone needs the confidence boost.

Goddamn this got long. I hope some of this helps, I hope I didn't miss anything, and I hope I didn't say something that sounds completely fucking bananas. Good luck and hope you have some good, safe hookups!!

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

I LOVE THE SPACE THEME FOR YOUR 750 FOLLOWERS EVENT AND YOU DESERVE THE FOLLOWERS SOSOSOSO MUCH AND MORE <33 ly you’re doing so great

our friendship’s been rather capricious over this past year since it kinda flickered out after i left tumblr and never really regained the same intensity when i came back, but we were pretty close once and you’ll be dear to my heart no matter what <3 it’s been an honour to see you and your blog (and your name list) grow!! i still remember when you first got your blog. and your rants about your first ex and stranger things and genshin. good times good times 😔😔 aging like fine wine fr (i sound like an old grandma recounting her glory days helpp)

anyways for the. requests. don’t be pressured to answer them at all (that’s potentially 750 people you’ll have to answer to… i wish you luck) but venus and earth would be cool <3

aaa anyways ily bye bye. hope this isn’t too weird + congrats again!!

thank you for visiting the planetarium! (trying not to get sappy here and save that for the letter dusinsisksjskske just know i adore you)

VENUS - i design you an outfit using pinterest - i can imagine you wearing something like this!!!

or something like this because you do give me the vibes of someone who would prefer a skirt to pants

EARTH - i write you a personal letter - dear cristie, i know we don't talk much now but you were once such a big part of my life, and i'll always be grateful for that. thank you for listening to my stranger things rambles even though we didn't always agree, thank you for listening to my genshin rambles even though you didn't play the game, thank you for listening to me ramble about my ex even though it must've been so frustrating watching me ignore every red flag in the book, and most of all thank you for all our delightful conversations about our writing. if im being honest i always felt a little inferior to you, you seemed so put together, your writing was so poetic and beautiful, it made mine pale in comparison. it was always strange to me when you complimented my writing, i'm now a little less insecure when it comes to my writing and i would like to thank you for being there in that awkward phase of my authorhood. you were such a big part of why i got into percy jackson you know? when my dad first got me the books i remember thinking to myself you would be proud, as i spiralled further and further into brainrot i remember thinking "if only cristie could see me now" (p.s: i finally watched the show and i'd love to talk about my thoughts with you <3) all in all, thank you for being such a delightful ray of sunshine, you're such an amazing person and i hope you know that. you'll always have a special sepia colored place in my heart, and though our friendship isn't quite as strong as it used to be, i sincerely hope maybe one day it will be. -signed, your old friend asher

i hope you enjoyed your visit!!! please come again :) (AKA TALK TO ME MORE ITS ALWAYS A JOY SEEING ASKS FROM YOU)

[castlebyersafterdark]

yeah finn's humour is deffo bizarre but its also got this flavour where we often see that he's not mimicking the jokes with a crowd that would get it. i myself have what most people might call niche references but you usually have a couple of close friends who totally vibe that with you and you don't really whip that humour out for others. or if you do, you kind of tailor it to be unique to the context and situation, in order to make others laugh and feel included. or maybe to reveal your taste and humour. but shared humour in conversation and groups is usually there to sort of build on the situation. whereas with finn i find that a lot of what he says and does kind of doesnt make sense or it's a closed circle of references that some people wont get, which is really interesting as a choice for him to make those jokes. to me it speaks of anxiety and filling spaces by making people laugh, which, no shade, i mean most comedians started that way lol. he's got this specific its kind of like 'im going to joke about this even though no one here will get it' which is what makes him awkward and funny to me lol. ofc sometimes it lands and he's hilarious, but i think a big part of being a funny person is reading a room and making the comedy fit into the space, either in a normal humour way, or by taking people by pleasant surprise with something a little left field.

all comics take risks that don't work and i do think finn sees himself as a comedian perhaps before an actor. so its just learning and growing. i really remember a clip of him squinting with big buggy fake joke eyeballs in, just sitting there casually and asking everyone 'what? WHAT??' in this really genuine way, and you can just hear/see millie and noah and everyone pissing themselves in the background, it's amazing and so funny. thats classic humour, though, im not sure how alt that is. it works because he himself isnt normal though. i think the best comedy is in friction and surprise, so finn could make lots of 'normal' gags funny and fresh just by way of who he is. im really curious to see his movie he directed because its always been clear to me that he wants to break into comedy but keeps getting put into horror or dramatic roles, and i think... even though the industry often sleeps on people's potential, there's a reason for that lol

This is really great, thank you for the analysis and insight!! I don't have much to add again because this is spot on and thorough. Very accurate. Even as seemingly elusive as he is - he's not quite the prototypical enigma. He has a way about him, and I totally kind of get it. I think this read has it down. Fun!! 😁

[bytedykes]

Nie mingjue and liu qingge for the character ask game?

Sexuality Headcanon: im a nieyao/3zun truther so like he likes men... lqg is my beautiful aroace swordguy <333

Gender Headcanon: I LOVE BUTCH WOMEN!!!! ok both of them are men to me as canon, but like. take my hand. butch nmj and he/him butch lqg okay?

A ship I have with said character: i guess i already said but Big fan of nieyao i like it when weird assholes tear each other into pieces ^-^ 3zun is also good. for lqg i like him in bingliushen but only the way i personally like it and not the way people usually do it. hes a part of their marriage in the sense that he's their nonsexual nonromantic chew toy that they like sooo much. also lqg/tlj can be really good sometimes (thinking of raitala's 'the reluctant suitor' series - very nice tianliu series but also one of my fave lqg characterizations i've seen lol he's such a weirdo in this one)

A BROTP I have with said character: nmj and nhs!!! i love you nie siblings you rock. also i like nielan childhood friends i think its very fun especially when they start falling apart in the later years <3 an interesting take ive seen before also is nmj&wq which is pretty fun. LQG&SQQ THE BESTIES <3 theyre everything !!! i really like them i like how much they genuinely enjoy each others company and how fucking Bad they are at like. being in a friendship its awesome. also as a treat for myself lqg&yqy is sooo tasty i love it when lqg genuinely likes and looks up to him and yqy is fond of him in turn. could a sect leader and his coworker-subordinate really be... friends?

A NOTP I have with said character: obviously ew incest ships but aside from that i cant really think of anything? lqg x romance my notp i think he's so aro. also okay. okay honestly. liushen sometimes NOT all the time but sometimes the way ppl act about it irks me and i automatically look away. like the blatantly ooc fandomized liushen. bye </3

A random headcanon: lqg forest puddle water drinkerrrr dkjaskdss no im kidding im kidding. my random headcanon ("random headcanon" lol) is that he has good dad energy. he could pull thru. give that man a baby :] can i plug spring in bloom here again does anyone want to read spring in bloom by kay my friend kay <3 also i think he's immune to sex pollen bc he's an aroace jock who just exercises it out of his system. no basis for this one other than it's hilarious

for nmj... i think he secretly has a very annoying sense of humor that many people don't know about but he terrorizes nhs with. dad jokes type of beat... da-ge jokes <3

General Opinion over said character: I FUCKING LOVE THESE GUYS!!!!! i love it when there is a guy with a big fucking sword who has sooo many problems. lol! anyway ok more specifically:

i thought nmj was very interesting while reading the novel and definitely had a "hey wtf dude" initial reaction to him, but he's reallyyy grown on me <3 partially bc he's been on my mind a lot and partially bc of his presence in cql! (cql nmj is my type also so that definitely did smth to me as well lol) i think he's a really interesting character to explore both bc of his general backstory and bc of his relationships w other characters, as well as the fact that (in the novel) we never really see him of completely sound mind, so there's lots of room to play w how you portray him. he's fun!

lqg i love soooo much i loved him from day ONE i loved him as soon as he showed up. he's so good. i think his appearance was a very funny surprise (?), esp the way sqq narrated it lmao, and i really like him in general. i loveee the loyal sword character trope and i like how lqg does it (so well <3). his general awkwardness and extreme talent to put his foot in his mouth is also really charming ("its ok you can just get a new disciple" what is wrong with him). i also think there's room to explore w him, especially his family + relationships w other sect members, i love you liu siblings... lqg is a character who goes through a lot of growth imo and it's very satisfying to see that + how his rs with sqq changes through the novel. lqg is also a character that is so fun to put into situations and also make fun of. bc he's so sucks <3 ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVE LQG if there is no lqg lovers on this earth i am dead etc

TYSM FOR THE ASK KAY <333 sorry it took me so long to answer LMAO it was really fun though

[many-gay-magpies]

5, 8, 19 for the dbd ask game! xoxo

aaaa thank you so much for asking!! most of this has been put under a cut because apparently i had a lot to say hdhfjfbfb

5. Which character do you relate to the most?

i think out of the main cast, i relate most to niko, but i also relate somewhat to kashi—and i mean, the night nurse said they were alike, so that makes a kind of sense XD.

niko reminds me specifically of a version of myself i USED to be, or like, one that's lying dormant. she's awkward and reclusive and extremely literal with her language, and once someone takes her out of her box she's super friendly, but she doesn't know how to get HERSELF out of the box, so she needs a friend who openly and unashamedly enjoys her presence and invites her along to things (like edwin!). i'm getting better with socializing, but that definitely reminds me of MYSELF with the whole social vampire thing of, like, i wont interact with you in depth unless you invite me first. she also has a lot of knowledge about random and frequently creepy things (see "long pig"), which i relate to on a spiritual level, AND she has an incredibly bright and exuberant fashion sense, which i feel is the case for me as well. ALSO!! aro niko is basically canon as far as im concerned, and idk if thats because its actually viable; because i, an aro, projected onto her way too hard; or both of those things. honestly, it's kind of a surprise i'm not more obsessed with her, but maybe this is exactly WHY i'm not. her character's already familiar to me because i grew up with her in my head.

as for kashi, it's more like. specifically his view of his life and past experiences? like, the way he goes "really im not sure i HAVE any trauma" and night nurse goes "YOU WERE SWALLOWED BY A GIGANTIC FISH" and he smiles all wistful and goes "ah, one of life's many adventures!". even when i have bad experiences don't necessarily enjoy them in the moment, there's a part of my brain that's like. yes!! negative emotion!! so refreshing and fun!! this is evidence that we are human!! this is a symptom of life!! yes!! how joyous!! like i was a fucking alien in a past life or something and the little alien remains of my soul are so utterly fascinated by every aspect of human existence, whether its grim and painful or fun and full of love. so. me and kashi 🤝🤝🤝

8. A headcanon you have (that you havent seen talked about yet)!

idk if this counts as me not seeing it be talked about yet because the whole thing that SPURNED this headcanon was seeing someone offhandedly mention that crystal would probably be good at drawing due to having rich artist parents, but i imagine crystal being kind of an artist herself (and in fact ive written 2k words of fic about it! its on the backburner at the moment tho). her fashion sense is very reminiscent of the way an art kid would dress (see: ME), and it just feels like it makes SENSE given her parents' profession and how she might have been raised, growing up around art. i also feel like little kid crystal, seeing how much attention her parents gave to the OTHER artists in their installations, might have tried to gain their attention for herself by getting really good at art, before she realized the problem wasn't anything she was or wasn't doing; it was just her (or, more accurately, it was the fact that her parents were neglectful pieces of shit who probably never should have had a child).

19. Favourite actor from the show?

i don't really get into the actors of shows on a personal level, although i do love watching behind the scenes and interviews of them just goofing off and having a good time, so for this question—i don't really know? george rexstrew seems like a very nice and down-to-earth person, and jayden just seems cool and fun(ny), but they're all pretty much just guys (gender neutral) to me.

if we're talking acting... man idk, they're all so good. this being george's first onscreen role out of theater school is fucking amazing, he absolutely killed it, and the sheer DEDICATION is awe-inspiring (i think i read that he actually took ballet classes to help him walk and move like edwin?). all jayden's micro-expressions and actingchoices as charles blow me out of the fucking water, and kassius made crystal feel so real and genuine, and... yeah, i could go on XD.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

[Defense] Lawyer Yuu because I actually just started watching people play Ace Attorney myself and I am recently refreshed! Yuu is ambiguous on age but is hinted to be about Phoenix's starting age (20/21), because a lawyer would be an adult out of school... and that's Ace Attorney logic, a young lawyer...

Swapping between third and second person because I'm speed typing, but Yuu is still Yuu.

Yuu can not believe he was getting shaken around by a bunch of children! Not only had he been dragged into an alternate reality full of magic and fire breathing cats, but he was brought back to school! Night Raven College... when he heard the word college, he almost froze from shock and bewilderment.

How unlucky, especially with his student debts still going in his past world. He was determined to leave in the beginning, and Crowley was all too quick to agree, because of his general age difference with all the student body. Because of reasons unknown, and all identification except his Attorneys Badge taken from him, Yuu was forced to settle... for going back to college...

Thankfully, seeing Leona in the last situation with your gaggle of fellow students put you in a better mood. At least someone else was also your age, making this less awkward.

But you were unthankful for a specific gaggle of students that had attached themselves to you on the first day, breaking a chandelier. You could have flashed your badge, but you knew Crowley had all the power over your no ID person. Riddle had been much easier to deal with as the student held respect for you getting into Law School, and was conflicted when you basically called out his abuse of power and how these students could probably file harassment charges.

Well, that was until you realized you still had no proper ID, so all trials would be trials with Crowley as a judge... no thank you...

Oh, Chapter 3 is going to be hell, especially as this is what you trained for! If you had your ID and anyway to call the police, you could have a trial to put Azul at least in juvenile detention. But you don't. You have to constantly remind yourself that your barely able to do much at all, barely able to go to gym class because it's just you running laps while everyone flies. And so, watching a slimy 16 year old hold over 250 students hostage as you start to sign over your temporary living arrangements...

You pause before you actually sign. "Wait. May I have a magnifying glass? Before you get offended: I'm just making sure that there's no fine print. Also, I'll be drawing a line at the bottom so you can't update the contract. I've had that happen three times on autopsy's in the span of months."

Azul and Jade, curious as they are about laws unironically, hand you a sea glass magnifying lens shaped like a shell. For now, it's all you can do.

... Gosh, do you miss the Prosection... at least with him, your not wondering if the next student will stab you. Or anger Grim. Or vandalize your items. Or Overblot...

IM FOAMING ATBTHE MOUTH WITH THIS. TY SO MUCH.

ALSO imagine how Riddle is since he wants you be a lawyer. He's just so excited to ask questions and Yuus like "I had to interview a fucking parrot."