#and im jsut. waiting for everyone tonotice
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sits
still can't do read modes on mobile huh champ
#imnin the tags i suppose ahah#okay the fundimental reason i deeply believe icant ever ask someone to love me is because im#deeply uninteresting as a person#im a big fake wall and beneath that is just a whole lot of empty static#and people can see that!!!! they see that shit!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont pantomime the way i used to and i adore my friends#and i get more and more real but#theres still the base core static of nothing#and im jsut. waiting for everyone tonotice#my new cat has it took har barely a month to put it together#like i know im assigning her complex human thiught but!!!!!!!!!!!! she doesnt sit with me or in my lap or even sleep w me anymore#and im fucking sensitive im so fucking sensitive to people seeing my hollow insides!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the characters i make the extensions of me???? also feel at their core unlovable#ina romantic way#like fuck me dude fuck#i gotta just#cry about thi s for a little and then shove it down for tomrrow and try not to think of romance#for me or my characters#bc its. so fucking much and jm so sorry for the ones i cant give romance i want to so badly#pyroc fuxking deserved to be loved#to be kissed and held he deserved it#okay im gunna duck out now this is. too much aha
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