#and im genuinely so happy because i didn't think people would be this excited over characters from a season that's already a year old

[elleloquently]

[ ellie still fucking hated coffee.

but she finished off the drink, just because you made it. ]

| a/n : this has genuinely been in the works for months and im so excited to finally be posting it, so please consider leaving a comment/reblogging! it took ages but im very happy with the end result. over time i had a bunch of requests for coffee shop/college barista au's so i kinda mashed them together. please enjoy! <3

| c/w : swearing

coffee talk - ellie williams

the late summer air might've subconsciously motivated ellie's walk that day, her relaxed demeanour acted as a foolish guise from her anxious thoughts. she usually waited until the last possible minute to leave for class, but something today was different.

maybe she hoped that if she walked around for awhile, her body and mind would tire themselves before class, leaving herself sleepy with concentration instead. maybe she hoped that her early start would somehow prompt a late arrival to class, giving her an excuse to just not go.

ellie sighed, squinting in the sun. it was too early in the semester to start that bad habit.

she came across a little campus cafe on her wander, quickly recognizing it as the one that dina had frequented. she hesitated briefly, trying to peer through the glass windows in a not obvious way. it looked relatively empty, compared to the usual crowd, so ellie dragged herself inside.

the air conditioning instantly hit her warm skin, causing goosebumps on her arms. a small group had claimed a table by a window, chattering away with laptops covering the table top. ellie wasn't exactly sure what she was looking for, and the line was pretty short, not allowing her much time to think. ellie lingered in the doorway, wondering how strange it may appear if she turned on her heel and immediately exited the establishment right after entering, until she heard possibly the sweetest voice to ever hit her ears.

"have a nice day," you regarded softly, handing someone their drink with a quick smile.

you were still relatively new at the job, fumbly and awkward with the interactions. your previous job had sucked. your co-workers were mean, you were paid basically nothing, and you were left with little time to complete assignments. your final straw was getting yelled at over the phone by your manager after calling off of work with the flu.

finally gathering the courage to quit, your friend had rallied you up to work at a campus cafe alongside her. the idea of that sort of work scared you, talking to customers, making drinks, but the pay was good and the hours were flexible. you put in an application and by the end of the week, you had started the training process. it was relatively comfortable, until your friend had suddenly decided to quit and left you alone.

"sorry," she had apologized weakly. "i think i might pick up doordashing or something instead."

you pushed out a quick sigh, drumming your fingers on the counter before plastering a smile on your face, moving to greet the next customer.

ellie craned her neck, trying to see the owner of the voice above the heads of the people that stood in line. once her eyes landed upon you, ellie sucked in a breath. she moved wordlessly into the line, no plan of action in mind.

she watched, dazed, as you entered orders and nodded. when you turned around to grab something and ellie spotted the bow that you were wearing in your hair, her palms began to feel warm. she strained her ears, desperate to hear your voice again above the sound of conversation and the typical coffee shop music.

ellie didn't even notice that there was another person, some guy, also behind the counter until he switched spots with you, greeting a different customer.

fuck, ellie thought, rapidly looking around to watch where you were going. you disappeared into the back, behind a set of secretive doors. ellie's heart sank. she would be up soon, and she didn't even know what she was doing. she didn't want to talk to some random guy.

she just... wanted to talk to some... random girl?

fuck.

someone else wandered into the cafe. ellie contemplated making that person's day, wondering if she should just leave the line. of course she should, this was stupid, but then you reappeared. you were carrying a small brown box, and huffed at a strand of hair that had fallen into your face.

ellie was almost up, and she rapidly began praying to any type of higher power that would listen. please don't let it be the guy, please don't let it be the fucking guy-

"hi," you greeted automatically, restocking a small display of reward punch cards. "what can we get for-" you finally dragged your eyes upwards, freezing at the sight of ellie.

your gaze widened and you mentally cursed yourself for having a horrible poker face. the girl standing in front of you was extremely attractive, to say the very least. you felt trapped in her green-eyed gaze, hand hovering above the cards that you were previously toying with.

ellie cleared her throat, shifting awkwardly on her feet. if anyone's voice matched their appearance perfectly, it was yours. you looked doe-eyed, caught off guard, and ellie's face flushed.

you blinked at the slight cough, snapping back into customer service mode. "what can i get for you?" you asked, pointedly changing the we to i. she had freckles. the smile you offered wasn't forced, but genuine.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. she had to actually order something, not just stand there and stare at you. it was ellie's turn to be wide eyed, as she scrambled to pinpoint something from the menu. god. she really didn't want to be that person. you had all that time waiting in line, just pick something for christ sake!

you stood awkwardly, smile wavering as you waited for a reply. at least while the cute stranger was distracted by the menu, you could use the opportunity to stare.

mentally, ellie was a mess. she had held the skill of reading for the majority of her life now, but ellie couldn't make sense of a single word that was displayed on the menu. everything blurred together and she could feel your eyes on her as she scrambled for something to say.

"uh, what do you recommend?" ellie questioned, meeting your gaze. her cheeks burned when she noticed that you had winced. ellie wasn't being cute or friendly, she was being annoying. the last thing that you probably wanted was to rattle off a list of seasonal beverages you had been asked to promote. ellie mentally cursed herself, but you were stuttering for an answer before she could take her inquiry back.

"oh! um, well there's the..." you glanced over your shoulder at the seasonal drink specials, and ellie held back a grimace. poor fucking girl, she thought.

your face burned. you were still pretty new to the job, and honestly, penny pinching. despite the few that you've snuck during your shift, you hadn't tried many of the drinks yet. you so badly wanted to have a quick answer, something to impress her with your amazing taste. instead, you faltered, taking too long to answer.

"sorry," you laughed, shaking your head sheepishly. "i'm pretty new to this," you explained, ignoring the stare that you were getting from your co-worker. please don't ask to help me, you silently pleaded. despite the awkwardness of the interaction, you didn't want it to be cut short. you wanted to know if her freckles were always that visible, or if they popped out more due to the summer sun.

"that's okay," ellie said, a little too quickly. she looked down at the nametag that you wore on your apron. your name was written neatly, in your own style with a mix of cursive and regular letters. you had drawn a little flower next to your name.

"that board has some of our summer features though," you explained, finally regaining your footing. you nodded in the direction of a display board. "they're super popular, people really like them. i've tried the lavender one actually, it's super good. uh, we unfortunately don't get the pumpkin spice stuff in for... two more weeks, i think? so... i'm sorry about that," you quietly rambled, wringing your hands.

"pumpkin spice? it's barely september," ellie commented, wrinkling her nose. her attention was drawn to your nails, painted perfectly and neat. she wondered how big of a fool she would be making herself out to be if she attempted to flirt with you.

you shrugged, grinningly bashfully. "it's good," you resigned.

noted, ellie thought. i like pumpkin spice now. ellie opened her mouth to ask about the lavender thing, but the girl behind her in line obnoxiously cleared her throat.

ellie's eyebrows raised and you glanced apologetically at the other girl, who was tapping her foot.

"i'll be right with you," you commented. the girl scoffed and ellie's lips twisted at the sound. you were so sweet, wasting one of your pretty smiles on someone who didn't deserve it.

"yeah, no big deal," the girl replied sarcastically. "it's not like i have a class to get to or anything." she looked around the room, trying to garner support for herself, but no one was paying attention.

"i'll be right with you," you reiterated with a harsher tone. ellie fully blushed, feeling guilty for delaying the interaction. now you were getting backlash and your co-worker was completely eyeing you up, and ellie felt at fault for it. you met her eyes again, apologizing with a sad smile. ellie's grip on the strap of her bag tightened.

"sorry," ellie mumbled as her cheeks burned. "i'll get, um-"

the girl in line sighed again and ellie lost her train of thought, noticing that you were holding back your frustration with a tight smile. finally, a good idea emerged in ellie's head. she knew dina's order by heart. dina was certainly a creature of habit, at least when it came to her food and drink orders. ellie had heard dina order a million times.

ellie confidently allowed dina's coffee order to roll off of her tongue. you blinked in surprise as she gave specific directions, a direct contrast to how clueless she had seemed just a moment ago.

you frantically entered the order into the system, scared of making a mistake and looking dumb. "hey," you called softly, gaining the attention of your co-worker. you recited the order to him, to which he nodded in understanding.

"what's your name?" you asked politely. you grabbed a sharpie, waiting.

ellie's heart skipped a beat and she thought maybe she would have stood a chance, until she realized that you were asking for the drink and not because you genuinely wanted to know.

except, really, you did want to know. having to ask was just a perk.

"ellie."

"ellie," you repeatedly warmly. it was the best thing that ellie had ever heard. "i like it," you mumbled, grabbing a cup from a stack.

"thank you," ellie mumbled, watching as you wrote her name on the cup. your teeth pulled at your bottom lip in concentration, determined to use your best writing. once you had gotten to the second L, you looked up.

"oh," you realized sheepishly. "you can go wait at the end," you gently instructed her. ellie could've facepalmed herself for her stupidity, but didn't want to drag herself away from your presence. ellie wanted to say something more, but failed. she did, however, feel as though she had caused you enough trouble for the day. ellie gave you an awkward smile, as genuine as she could manage, before moving to step away.

once ellie had turned away, you realized your mistake.

"oh! wait!" you called, your voice louder than it had been all day. ellie froze, wondering if she had done something wrong or maybe you wanted to ask for her number.

the girl who was supposed to be next groaned.

"i'm so sorry," you whispered once ellie's body was in front of you again. "i forgot to have you pay," you muttered your confession, humiliated as your co-worker made a tsssk sound.

ellie thought that after this, she might drop out of college and move somewhere, maybe the country. somewhere far away from civilization.

"fuck," ellie swore under her breath, quickly rummaging through her bag for her wallet. "sorry," she said. you gave her the total, eyes lingering on ellie's tattoo while she swiped her card.

"um, do you want a reward card?" you asked, your voice sounding more robotic compared to before.

ellie was ready to automatically say no, but she took in the sight of your rounded cheeks and bashful smile.

"i would love one," ellie replied, and she felt as though her body jolted when your fingers grazed hers, handing over the card.

"if you buy nine drinks, the tenth one is on us!" you chirped, clearly haven gave this spiel before.

"jesus, nine?" ellie grumbled, and to her horror, your smile dropped.

"that's a great number!" she exclaimed awkwardly, scrambling to fix her mistake.

you nodded. "have a good day," you dismissed, and ellie's stomach lurched.

as ellie made her way to the end of the counter, she heard an exasperated "finally!" before you began to mumble apologies. ellie rolled her eyes. asshole.

when her name was called and she was handed her drink, ellie froze. her name, written pretty in your handwriting, punctuated with a doodle of a smile. her pulse quicked, and ellie wondered if she had always been this pathetic or if she had just gotten soft.

before she left, she turned around to give you one last look. you saw her heading for the door, and strained your neck to look at ellie once more before she was gone. you made eye contact, and ellie almost did an awkward half wave that certainly would've kept her up at night, cringing.

you tore your eyes away from ellie, mentally cursing yourself. but god, she was cute.

ellie shook her head discouragingly, once again met with the warm breeze of the afternoon as she stepped outside. she stared down at the little smiley on her cup. ellie frowned. she didn't really like coffee, but she also didn't want to throw it away. she heaved a sigh, holding the beverage as she began her trudge to class.

the doodled smiley carried ellie on a high throughout the entire day.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie had come to find out that maybe, she wasn't particularly good at rationalizing with herself.

she figured that she would have a pretty good chance at seeing you again if she were to visit the cafe on the same day of the week and at the same time that she had previously seen you. she also figured that purposefully seeking out a stranger at their place of employment was pretty damn creepy.

when ellie passed by the cafe on her newly adjusted route to class, she craned her neck each time in hopes of catching a glimpse of you through the window. unfortunately for herself, ellie hadn't been so lucky.

if she had seen you, would she go inside?

mentally, ellie told herself no, but the answer was lousy.

maybe ellie would have, but only to try that lavender whatever drink that has been advertised on the chalkboard sign outside of the cafe. the flowers decorating the board looked a lot like the one doodled on your nametag and... did you draw them? was it your handwriting in purple, swooping letters that she saw now, nearly every day?

will power strong, but her delusion even stronger, ellie did not revisit the cafe and she did not have a crush on a barista that she met only once.

it was purely coincidental that exactly a week later, ellie left early for class again. she accidentally found herself walking the path to the cafe, and since she was so early anyway, ellie found no harm in stopping inside to get a break from the early september heat.

it was practically empty inside, so ellie's gaze quickly found its way to you.

you appreciated a slow day. the campus starbucks had finally staffed up enough to open for the semester, consequently stealing a lot of the little cafe's business. your coworkers complained and groaned about the matter, but you didn't mind. you sort of preferred it like this anyway.

the door chiming drew your attention instantly, and you were quick to recognize the auburn haired girl from the previous week. the sight of her made you grin, teeth on display before you had a moment to overthink it.

ellie's eyes were on you from the moment she stepped inside, and you noticeably faltered.

you weren't smiling right, so you straightened up your posture and dropped your eyes. you didn't want to smile too much, in a way that would be strange to greet a customer that you had only once before.

you pressed your lips into a tight smile. more formal, less i'm glad to see you again. i totally wasn't keeping an eye out for you during every single shift.

there was no line to restrain ellie today, and she sort of wished that there had been. a handful of seconds felt like ages as ellie shuffled to the counter. you were fidgeting, looking at ellie and then looking away.

ellie thought that she might be able to be confident today, swift and suave and just flirty enough to let you on to the idea that she could potentially be interested.

interested in what exactly, ellie wasn't so sure. she had girlfriends before, of course, and had admittedly flirted with her fair share of girls through time. obsessing over somebody random after one encounter though, that was new.

"uh, hey," ellie coughed. off to a fucking strong start, moron.

"hi!" you chirped, wringing your hands behind the counter. if you remembered her, and acted as such, would she think it was weird? what if you pretended not to remember her, but she did remember you, and then she thought that you were rude?

the sound of your voice filled a void that had been left within ellie since the previous week. the reaction it prompted within her was so fucking ridiculous that she deemed herself to be an idiot.

ellie did not have feelings for a barista that she saw once.

well, twice now, but still. no fucking thank you.

"what can i do for you?" you questioned, customer service manners causing your voice to raise in pitch.

there's a few things that you could- ellie scrunched her eyebrows with a pained expression, tearing herself away from the disgusting thought. jesus christ, what was actually wrong with her?

your smile never wavered as you waited, but your heart was racing. why on earth was it so awkward?

c'mon, fucking pull yourself together. if it goes wrong, you never have to show your face in here again, ellie thought.

"i actually wanted to try that drink you recommended last time," ellie said smoothly.

surprise registered clearly across your face, along with one blaring thought. she remembered you!

the second thought, the always displeasing afterthought, dropped like a weight in your chest. you were pretty sure the cafe didn't have the ingredients you would need.

you smiled anyway, (she remembered you!) giddy and nervous.

"the lavender one, right?" you questioned, and ellie was so in. you remembered the interaction, which might not mean anything at all, but it was better than being forgotten.

"right," ellie confirmed, nodding once with an easy smile.

"right," you repeated, and ellie instantly noticed the uncomfortable expression on your face. shit.

“um so,” you winced as you started, really not in the mood to receive the lashings of an unhappy customer. “i believe we are actually out of the lavender, i can go check in the back just to make sure if you want…”

ellie wanted to say no, that’s totally fine, you’re beautiful and don’t even worry about it, but her mouth tended to work faster than her brain.

ideally, she wouldn’t be opposed to a moment alone to compose herself, so ellie mumbled a quick “sure, that’s fine,” and tried not to be a creep as you turned and quickly walked away, disappearing behind a set of doors into the back.

you already knew there was no possible way that you could make the drink, and you already knew that there were no extra ingredients hidden in the back. you wondered if you could stay hidden and just not go back out.

"i am so sorry," you began, voice high and apologetic as you made your way back to your standing place. "unfortunately we don't ha-"

"that's fine!" ellie squeaked, crimson patching its way onto her cheeks. ellie thought that maybe she should buy you a drink, since it seemed like she only showed up to cause extra trouble for you.

ellie pictured it so clearly in her mind, asking whatever your favorite drink was and ordering it, only to give it to you instead. was that smooth, or lame? she imagined telling jesse and dina about it later and pictured them giving her praise instead of wincing in second-hand embarrassment, so it was game on.

"is there anything else i could get you?" you questioned, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth.

"actually-"

"hey, excuse me, can i get an ice water to go?"

ellie quickly snapped in the direction of the person who interrupted her. a guy stood near a table in which he was previously sat, packing up a laptop and notebook.

"of course!" you turned away from ellie and she would have sworn that she felt her heart burst. "what size?"

ellie watched intently, jealous as you prepared the simple water cup. why couldn't she be an easy customer like that? what the fuck was wrong with her?

"sorry about that," you muttered sheepishly. your hand hovered over the cash register, still waiting to take ellie's order.

your nails were painted the same color as last time, ellie noted, but they were starting to chip.

"it's all good," ellie breezed, and suddenly remembered that she actually had a class to get to. she recited the previous coffee order without a second thought, thanks dina, and you nodded along intently. you weren't really great at remembering faces and their orders, but something in you made you want to memorize ellie's.

ellie paid (you remembered this time, but no co-worker was around to see it) and she held back a snort when you pulled out a little pink stamp pad.

"do you have your reward card?" you questioned, leaving ellie to look dumbfounded.

"my what?"

"the reward card? buy nine drinks, the tenth is on us?"

"oh! oh, shit," ellie fumbled for her wallet, making a sound of recognition as she pulled out the card. "of course i do," ellie remarked. you swallowed a giggle.

you stamped her card with the pretty pink ink and then began to make the drink. ellie mentally cursed herself for once again ordering something that she didn't like, but it was too late now.

"here you go!" you presented. you had wrote ellie on the cup, even though you technically didn't need to since no one else was around. ellie appreciated it anyway.

"thanks," she murmured, failing to meet your gaze.

"have a good day, okay?"

"you too," ellie remarked, holding up her cup in parting.

when she was outside and the fresh air began to clear her mind, ellie forbid herself from ever going back to that cafe. it was painfully and unnecessarily awkward, especially considering that she didn't know you.

still, her heartstrings were tugged as she stared down at the drink in her hand. last time, your co-worker had actually been the one to make the drink, so ellie didn't feel any guilt about pouring it down the sink.

however, you were the one to make it today. and you were so sweet, and ellie couldn't bear to just throw it away.

ellie gulped, staring at the cup with a grimace. she took a fast, quick sip, and then coughed into her arm so she wouldn't gag.

ellie still fucking hated coffee. but she finished off the drink, just because you made it.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the next morning, ellie was up early with a mission. a study session with dina wasn't exactly the best thing to motivate ellie to wake up early, but an excuse to see if you were working definitely was.

ellie had no clue of your schedule except for the one day of the week that she had already seen you. it might have been a long shot, but fuck it, the least she could do was get dina a coffee on her way.

campus was quiet when it was early. ellie certainly preferred it that way. it was peaceful, the way the morning light projected a certain softness onto her surroundings. she knew the cafe was open this early, ellie had googled it about seven times the night prior and twice more in the morning to be safe.

to confirm the information once more, ellie could see the glowing lights through the window. it appeared empty, and ellie couldn't even tell who the person was inside until she entered.

"hi," you said almost instantly, and your tone made it clear that you were surprised.

"hi," ellie repeated, not being able to believe her luck.

you had been wiping a table, but you placed the rag down and moved to the counter as you continued to speak.

"you're really determined to burn through that reward card, huh?"

your joke caught ellie off guard, and her feet were carrying her before she told them to. ellie didn't even feel like a person yet, how were you making jokes so early?

"i'll be getting my free drink by noon," ellie retorted.

"ambitious, i like it," you laughed.

ellie was going to have a good day.

she didn't really give a fuck about the reward card, honestly, ellie would only use it if you were around. she was prepared on the off chance that you would be working, and caught you by surprise as she slapped it on the countertop.

"so what'll it be? your usual?" you questioned, tilting your head to the side.

ellie mentally cursed herself for hitting rock bottom, because receiving basic customer service shouldn't be having that effect on her.

"yeah, actually," ellie confirmed, looking flustered as her face dusted pink.

"perfect," you murmured, fingers dancing along the order screen. shit.

"um, shit," you laughed awkwardly, face burning. "i promise i know it but also could you like, remind me?"

ellie laughed because everything about you was so endearing and also because she didn't want you to feel embarrassed.

"for sure," ellie enthused, going through the steps of the order. as you tapped the screen, ellie noted that your nails were painted a different color today.

you were a little slower at making the drink today, not that ellie minded. it was peaceful, watching you hum as you did every step so delicately. ellie felt lucky to be the only person there with you, and then hoped she wasn't weird for having the thought.

the song playing quietly through the speakers above caught ellie's attention once she had noticed that it was the one that you were humming along to. the sound of the acoustic guitar got stuck in ellie's head like a daydream, your absent minded mutters filling the spaces of silence.

"oh man, i love this song," ellie gushed.

"yeah?" you looked up with a grin, pleased by ellie's comment. "me too."

perfect girl. ellie watched as you picked up a sharpie, turning your back to her.

"what other stuff do you guys play here?" ellie questioned, craning her neck to try and see what you were drawing on her cup.

"uh," you didn't think that you had ever been this concentrated on decorating someone's cup before. "anything, mostly. we play our own playlists, like, whoever's working, you know?"

ellie nodded, even though you couldn't see her. "this is yours?"

"my playlist?" you turned back around, immediately caught in ellie's green eyed gaze. "yeah! i don't play my own stuff much though, unless i'm here alone."

"i get that," ellie murmured, watching as you once again made yourself busy.

it was quiet just for a moment, until you handed ellie her drink. your fingers touched for just a moment but your pulse quickened. you hoped you weren't making things weird, but worried that you were by the way ellie dropped her eyes after the small touch.

ellie was silent while she payed, but only because she was trying to think of something more to say.

"hey," ellie said suddenly, causing your eyebrows to raise. "you didn't stamp my card," she complained.

"oops," you said, reaching for your stamp.

"i can't believe you're trying to cheat me out of a free drink," ellie stated, feigning fake shock.

"yeah, guess you'll just have to come back more," you responded through a laugh.

your joke sobered ellie's expression. the brief change made you freeze, and you couldn't decide whether or not the joke was incorrect. oh my god, you barely knew her. then again, it could have been passed off as just a joke about getting more business.

"guess i will," ellie agreed quietly, and your breath caught in your throat. was she joking or flirting? was there something, or were you sleep deprived and crushing on an extremely attractive girl that you barely even knew?

ellie felt satisfied with herself, though was determined to leave before she could manage to fuck anything up.

"thank you," she concluded, moving towards the door.

"anytime. see you soon for that free drink, right?"

ellie scanned your features and cracked a smile. "definitely. have a good one, okay?"

"okay," you sighed and then coughed awkwardly. "have a good day!"

after ellie had left, you slid down to the floor and covered your head in your hands. what the hell were you doing?

ellie quickened her pace to get to dina's, but after one glance at her cup she stopped short.

in black sharpie, you had drawn a flower and a little bee. and then, ellie's name in cursive.

fuck.

ellie looked back towards the direction of the cafe, wondering how creepy she might come off as if she were to march back in there and ask you out.

the doodle on the cup quite literally made her heart ache, and she stood indecisively on the sidewalk.

ellie had gotten this coffee for dina to be a good friend.

ellie also could not fucking stand the idea of passing this cup off to dina and then seeing it be thrown in the trash.

"fuck," ellie muttered.

whatever, dina could use her own fucking cup.

ellie would explain, sort of. maybe.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"ellie, what the hell is wrong with you?"

dina's shoes slapped heavy against the pavement in a rushed attempt to keep up with her best friend. her hand reached for ellie's arm, a little aggressively, as ellie nearly shoulder checked some guy zooming past on a skateboard.

"huh? nothing," ellie dismissed, blinking around her surroundings as if she had never been on campus before.

"yeah? nothing? since when do you ever want to get a coffee," dina mocked the way ellie had proposed the plan earlier, earning a frustrated sigh from the auburn haired girl.

ellie shook her head, fixating her eyes on the little cafe that she was growing quite familiar (and fond) of.

"change of scenery would be nice," ellie grumbled. "come on, i'm being a good friend. you love this place."

"you're being so weird," dina muttered, stepping ahead of ellie to open the door.

the sudden chill of the air conditioning was a shock to ellie's warm skin. she tried not to look at you as she trailed in after dina.

"i'm gonna get-"

"let me," ellie interrupted, causing dina to raise an eyebrow. "how about you find us a seat and i'll order drinks, yeah?"

the environment was loud with orders and chatter, leaving little room to set up and study. ellie straightened her posture, appearing a lot more confident than she felt.

dina nodded, rolling her eyes with a grin. "i'll grab a table."

ellie waited until dina's back was turned to take a shaky breath as she pivoted to the ordering counter. there wasn't much of a line, only one person, though a gaggle of people waited off to the side for their names to be called.

you didn't notice ellie until she was in line, shifting on her feet and stealing glances that she probably assumed you wouldn't catch.

"hi," you chirped, gaining her attention.

ellie's gaze snapped upwards. she felt surprised to hear your voice, even though you were the sole reason for her even coming inside in the first place. the smile that graced your lips made her head spin, and she was suddenly all too aware that dina was probably watching her now.

"hi," ellie repeated, a little too meekly for her own liking.

"how are you?" you questioned, dropping any trace of your customer service voice.

"good now," ellie replied.

you raised a curious brow but smiled anyway, the presence of your ever growing favorite 'stranger' was exactly the type of break that you yearned for on a day like today.

there was no denying the silly way that ellie made you feel, no matter how much you argued it with yourself.

it wasn't typical of you to get butterflies while customers were ordering.

you relaxed your posture, grateful that there was a lack of impatient people lining up behind ellie. your co-worker was making drinks so you were free to chat, even just for a minute.

"what can i get for you?" you forced yourself to meet ellie's eyes, which you realized quickly was a difficult task.

looking in her eyes for too long made your head whirl. her gaze was so steady, so intentional, it honestly threw you for a loop.

when ellie began to recite the coffee order that you were expecting, you laughed a little and tapped away on the ordering screen and ellie's mouth felt dry with nerves.

"-and uh, a water. please," ellie finished, resting her hand and wallet on the counter.

"switching things up on me now?" you joked, shaking your head with a tsk. "just as i was starting to memorize it."

"gotta keep you on your toes," ellie quipped. if she leaned in closer, just a little, she could smell your perfume. "surely all your other customers don't give you enough of a hard time."

you smiled knowingly with a quick laugh, grabbing the card that ellie was now holding out to you. your fingers touched just briefly and ellie flushed instantly.

"you're totally the most difficult customer we've ever had," you deadpanned.

the humor was on ellie's caliber, and she had started it, yet your sarcastic remark instantly had her feeling guilty.

"right," ellie muttered, and she felt stupid because she knew it was a joke and you were only playing along and what did she expect, a fucking compliment?

"i'm kidding," you rushed, sliding ellie's card back to her. "you're like, the best one."

now ellie really felt like an idiot. she fumbled to return her card into her wallet and tried to ignore how warm she felt.

you smiled awkwardly and ellie wanted to believe that you were being sincere on a personal level, not just reciting some customer service bullshit. completely aware of the fact that she was overthinking it, ellie choked on a laugh. maybe she was just scarred from the trader joe's shopping experience.

"you say that to everyone," ellie recovered, her voice a lot smoother than she felt.

"oh," you disagreed, wide eyed. "pinkie promise. i like when you come in 'cause i don't have to worry about potentially being yelled at or like, verbally attacked."

ellie briefly contemplated making a stupid joke, but your twitchy smile made her heart ache and she wished that she could hang out in the cafe all day, ready to defend you from any asshole that comes in with an attitude.

"never," ellie responded, finally catching your eye. "i would never."

"i know," you replied softly, and immediately felt your face grow warm with embarrassment. why were you being so earnest? you didn't ACTUALLY know, anyway. but you wanted to trust those green eyes, so you did.

this is good, ellie thought. she wanted to say something else, maybe ask a question, but you pushed off the counter and clicked your tongue.

"i'll get you the water while you wait for your coffee," you said quickly, turning away and making yourself busy.

ellie's mouth snapped shut, her racing thoughts stopping dead in their tracks. she noticed that the bow you wore in your hair matched the color of your slouchy sweater and she had to get to know you.

pouring a water obviously didn't take as long as preparing a coffee, so ellie didn't understand why she seemed so caught off guard when you handed her the water.

"thanks..." ellie murmured. talking was usually pretty easy for ellie, considering how long she's been able to do it, so the fact that her mouth and words were drying up now had her about ready to tug at her hair in frustration.

"sorry," you smiled sheepishly. "i would totally make your coffee so you wouldn't have to wait, but i'm on register duty.. so..."

ellie noticed as you tapped your painted nails on the register and oh my fucking god, your nails matched your bow and sweater. how the fuck?

"that's okay, i don't mind waiting," ellie replied smoothly, and the words left her mouth before she could even process them. "as long as i can wait over here?"

here was referring to exactly where she was standing, at the counter with you. your cheeks burned and you nodded once, a silent reply.

"sure," you finally managed to choke out. "i don't blame you, it gets overwhelming waiting in crowds like that..."

fumbled. fumbled fumbled fumbled.

"uh, yeah."

as awkward as it was, you hoped it took a while longer for ellie's drink to be finished. she was cute, there was no sense in trying to deny yourself from acknowledging it. it's not like you were going to say anything, and if it made five minutes of your day more interesting, so what?

"don't tell me you forgot about the reward card," you teased, an easy fall back.

"never," ellie replied, but her eyes widened as she struggled to find it in her wallet. "shit."

you shook your head in disapproval. "and to think i just called you my best customer?"

"ouch," ellie mumbled. "i'll find it, i swear," ellie rushed, taking the idea of a stupid card much too seriously. she was well aware of the fact, but still. you were the one to give it to her after all.

you giggled at her strained expression and rose colored cheeks. "don't worry about it. hey, have you been to that coffee shop downtown?"

ellie's heartbeat quickened, and she wondered if you could tell based purely upon the look on her face. she was nearly ecstatic that you were genuinely talking to her, asking her something, and she wanted to deliver. it was a little deflating though. ellie didn't really love coffee shops, and she didn't want to provide you with an underwhelming answer.

"which one?" ellie inquired, loving the little smile that appeared on your lips before you answered her question.

"it's on the corner of main, on the inside it has this super cool v-"

"vinyl store?" ellie finished, beaming with excitement. "dude, i fucking love that place. i'm there like, every week."

"yeah?" you enthused, butterflies swirling your stomach. "me too! maybe we like... saw each other there before."

"i don't think so," ellie said instantly.

"i mean, you might've, maybe you just don't remember," you offered.

"i would've remembered," ellie replied seriously. she quickly wondered if her response was too cheesy, but you drew your eyes downward and tried to suppress a smile and ellie felt fine.

"fair enough," you mumbled, tracing shapes on the counter.

"so, do you collect vinyls or do you just-"

"did you forget my drink order or what?" dina joked, coming up behind ellie.

ellie shook her head, shifting awkwardly on her feet. shit.

"just waiting," ellie mumbled. she didn't know why she felt uncomfortable, maybe the idea of crushing on the barista at her friend's favorite coffee shop when she didn't even LIKE coffee but was suddenly spending all of her free minutes there, was, odd.

you recognized the girl next to ellie, dina. she came in pretty frequently.

ellie's name was called by your co-worker as her, no - dina's drink was placed on the counter.

"well, wait no longer," dina laughed, playfully shoving ellie away.

ellie glanced at you briefly before grabbing the drink, handing it off to dina with a cheesy grin.

oh.

oh.

the smile dropped from your face just as it felt as though your heart dropped into your stomach. you felt so stupid. especially considering all of the effort you had put into trying to make ellie's cups look cute, and they weren't even for ellie.

you watched as they sat down together and huffed out a sigh, startling as your co-worker tapped you on the shoulder to inform you that they were going on break.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie couldn't stop thinking about you. she had avoided the cafe for a few days following your last interaction. she didn't understand why, but it made her feel guilty.

it's not like she even had a reason to feel that way. but hey, she was a loyal girl. if she decidedly had a secret crush on a barista that she barely knew, it was sacred!

the way that your demeanor had changed was stuck in ellie's head, and honestly, maybe it was making her a little too hopeful. the look on your face had to have meant something.

on the other hand, this was coming from someone who's idea of flirting was smiling while somewhat remaining eye contact.

seriously. seriously? fuck it.

ellie didn't like coffee anyway.

if she completely humiliated herself and ultimately freaked you out forever, she just wouldn't go back to the cafe! easy!

the sunlight covering campus was soft. it would be dark soon, and ellie felt exhausted after a long day of classes. she was well aware that this was definitely a long shot, but she had to try. she had been buying a lot of coffee lately.

please, please let it be worth something.

the sky was fading blue when ellie appeared upon the cafe. the sign on the door said CLOSED! but the lights were on and ellie could've fallen to her knees and screamed thank you to the universe because she could see that you were inside.

you didn't flinch when the bell on the door chimed, signaling its opening.

"we're closed," you stated without looking up, powering off a small machine.

"i know," ellie breathed, standing in the doorway.

you blinked, suddenly feeling flushed. you straightened your posture and waited, unsure what to make of the situation.

surely she wasn't secretly one of those people who were like, i don't care if you're closed, give me my damn coffee now!

you silently pleaded to the universe for that to not be the case. you already had a rough day as is.

"what do you want?" you asked, a hint of exhaustion in your tone.

everything in ellie's body wanted to backpedal. maybe she really did misread everything.

"um, i wanted to say.. uh-"

oh for fuck's sake. just say it.

"i wanted to say sorry?" ellie offered, false confidence leading her to the counter.

"sorry for what?" you questioned, wrinkling your nose.

"i don't like coffee," ellie blurted out. the absurdity made you laugh.

"that's.. okay?" you crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow at the green eyed girl.

"i've just been buying them for my friend," ellie continued, adding more emphasis than necessary to friend.

you pretended not to be delighted. "that's okay. it doesn't matter who customers buy their drinks for," you pointed out.

ellie swallowed a sigh. being referred to plainly as a customer (even though that's exactly what she was) was possibly the most devastating thing to ever happen in her life.

"i know," ellie replied, really amping it up. "i just wanted you to know. that i was buying them for a friend."

your heart was beating so quickly, you felt like a hummingbird.

"oh," you muttered, feeling stumped. "it doesn't matter what i think," you said quickly, looking at the floor.

"it does. i liked the bee. and the little flower. they were cute," ellie explained. her cheeks were completely red and yours were certainly warming up as well.

"thanks.. i thought they were cute too," you said softly, kicking your shoe at the ground.

"great. can i have your number?"

as the words left ellie she blinked heavily, startled by her own actions.

your brain turned to mush. you wanted to laugh but nothing came out so you just stared at ellie in silence.

"mine?"

ellie nodded.

"sure," you breathed, walking to pull out a pad of paper by the register. you retrieved a pen and wrote your number, followed by your name in cursive.

ellie waited in silence, holding her breath. you very easily could've just typed your number into her phone, but ellie found it incredibly endearing that you actually wrote it down instead.

"it's really nice of you to do stuff like that," you murmured, handing the paper to ellie. "buying coffee for a friend and all that."

"not entirely," ellie disagreed, forcing herself to meet your eyes.

you raised your eyebrows in question, and ellie shook her head.

"it wasn't exactly selfless."

"why?" you asked, a curious smile embellishing your features.

"i was only buying stuff so i had an excuse to come in."

you bit back a grin and leaned against the counter. "it's still nice of you to get something for someone else if you didn't like coffee... but why didn't you get like, a smoothie or tea or something?"

ellie didn't have an answer, you could tell by the look on her face and it made you laugh.

"what do you like?" you asked.

"i don't know? tea's fine. hot chocolate?"

you rolled your eyes, pointing to the menu above you that clearly had hot chocolate labeled as a menu item.

"so what? it's september." ellie wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"oh, you're one of those people," you observed, watching ellie's features contort into confusion.

"one of what people?"

"people who only drink seasonally appropriate drinks," you pointed out.

"i... guess?" ellie tried to hold a decent conversation, but she was still buzzing about getting your number and the way your perfume was the best thing that she had ever smelled.

"want me to make you something?" you questioned suddenly. "i bet that i can make you something that you'll actually like, and it won't be coffee."

ellie nodded immediately, but her words conflicted her. "aren't you closed?"

you shrugged, grinning at the girl standing opposite of you. "it's not a big deal. plus, it gets creepy at night. it'll be more fun closing up with some company."

ellie nodded once more, and she would absolutely stay for every single closing shift you ever had if you wanted her to.

you paced back and forth a bit, pulling out some supplies and flipping on some machines.

"what kind of tea do you like?" you inquired, peering over at ellie. "black? green? white? oolong?"

"the... fucking, brown kind?"

your eyebrows raised as you scanned her features, trying to determine whether or not she was joking.

ellie cracked an uneasy smile.

"do you like matcha, or do you think it tastes like grass and dirt?"

"uh-"

"right! i got it," you said decidedly, making yourself busy as ellie watched in confusion and wonder.

the tea that you made was simple, but not plain. it was earthy but not too bitter or dark, and it was a brighter flavor compared to coffee.

ellie chatted with you while you were busy, about majors and assholes on campus that drag their feet and take up entire walkways.

she was actually really easy to talk to, and funny too.

ellie was just glad that she didn't need an excuse to talk to you anymore.

"okay," you announced with bravado. "try this."

you placed the cup in front of ellie, and she hesitantly took a sip.

"it's totally fine if you hate it, there's zero pressure," you clarified.

ellie popped the lid off of the cup, smelling the tea before she took another drink. "it's actually really good," ellie enthused.

"really?" you beamed, feeling quite proud of yourself.

ellie frowned but her heart soared. it was, to ellie's taste, the perfect drink.

"really," ellie confirmed. "how much do i owe?"

you swatted her away, smiling slyly. "consider it your tenth."

ellie faked a gasp. "is that allowed?"

"for you, yeah." you thought for a moment, chewing on your bottom lip. "but will you please bring your reward card back sometime so that i can stamp it? i bought a bunch of cute stamps and i don't really get to use them 'cause no one ever-"

"absolutely," ellie replied seriously, eyes flicking over your face. this would possibly, definitely, be her best fucking semester yet. ever.

and her favorite cafe. and her favorite drink.

and her favorite barista.

ellie stayed with you while you finished closing, which was sweet.

together you made plans to go to the vinyl shop, after ellie asked if she could ever see you when you weren't on the clock.

you made ellie another tea for the road, but you spent extra time decorating the cup with frilly flowers, little animal characters, and ellie's name in your very best handwriting.

ellie would hold on to that cup, too.

[reallychaoticwoo]

⛓️ Im so sorry it's taken so long but here it is! I really hope you enjoy it and I was able to do what you imagined 🖤 ⛓️

✨️ 7 Sees 1 Team ✨️

❤️Pairing: Yeosang x reader

⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY!! cussing, oral f receiving, fingering, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (wrap it up buttercup), soft dom Yeo, subby fan reader, squirting, voyeurism, slightly possesive Yeo🖤

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤I just want to apologize again for how long this took ive had a fic that ive been stuck on that kind of shut me down mentally for a while but my writers block is over and i should be posting more frequently here soon! Also, of course theres going to be a happy fluffy ending because i am a simp for a love story even though im also a feral whore 🤣 As always i hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your support!🖤

The concert had been a whirlwind of emotions. You had screamed your heart out, laughed, cried, sang, danced, and obviously completely drooled at the unbelievably god like men preforming on stage. Sadly, the concert had come to an end but at least you still had send off to look forward to. Truly that was the only thing keeping you together in this moment. Making your way to the long hallway to find yourself a spot, you'd spotted the group out of the corner of your eye heading to their dressing room to cool down before they said their final goodbyes. You'd made eye contact with Yeosang during this brief moment and shot him a kind smile and a small wave. He returned the smile and wave before disappearing with the rest of the group.

The wait for Ateez to come back out wasn't actually that long but it felt like forever. Your anxiety had gotten the best of you thinking about how close they'd be, how they would actually be right in front of you, in person, you could genuinely reach out and shake their hand. You were shaking in anticipation. One by one the members passed down the line, each one of them making small talk with you and other fans, signing photocards or other things people had brought, and taking pictures or videos. You weren't prepared for Yeosang to reach you, not after the small hut very meaningful to you (and him, but you didnt know that), exchange of smiles the two of you had only 10 minutes prior.

A few of the girls around you were complementing the statue like man, calling him cute, adorable, sweet, ect. You just smile waiting patiently for him to get to you mumbling under your breathe almost in unison with his words "He's not cute. He's grown, he's handsome, stunning even, but not cute." Your words, which you thought no one could hear above the crowd of excited fans, caught his attention, his ears perking up at the fact you agreed with him, and not only that, you said he wasn't cute right as he had said it to the fans. To him, it felt like you understood him in that moment. He could do cute things, but he, himself, was not cute.

Finally putting himself directly in front of you to chat for a moment, he asked if you'd like a picture to which you obviously said yes. After a couple pictures, he chatted with you asking how you enjoyed the concert, who your bias was, and almost too quietly for you to hear, if you had any plans after send off. You answered every question, a little hesitant on the last one not sure how to answer as you didn't think telling him that your only plans were to go home and daydream about this night for the next week would be a good answer. Instead you said you didn't really have plans to which he smiled excitedly. Feeling a bit more confident around you and finding you were so easy to be around he asked you if you'd like to join him after send off to hang out. He wasn't obvious about it as there were many people around but his mood greatly improved after he moved away from you and continued down the line. Little did you know you had just made his night as special as he had made yours.

Finding you after send off wasn't too hard for him as you hadn't moved a single inch since he asked you to join him for the night. You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest and you'd been in a state of shock since that moment. When he caught your eyes you immediately perked up and shot him another smile and small wave, to which he returned as his made his way to you. "Hello, Tiny! Thank you for staying after, hopefully the wait wasn't too long!" Gosh, his voice was serene, melting you with every word. "No, not at all. Honestly I could've waited hours if needed it's not every day your bias asks to get to know you. I feel like this is a dream." You chuckled, a bit embarrassed at how eager you were coming off.

Noticing your nerves which he very much felt as well in this moment, he grabbed your hand and started walking with you. "Its not every day I ask to get to know a fan. If I'm being completely honest you're actually the first person I've asked to stay and wanted to get to know." The blush on his face said it all. You knew Yeosang wasn't much as much of an outgoing man as his fellow members. You admired that about him, how he seemed to be content in his own company, how he could be reserved and still scream confidence and mesmerize an entire fan base. "Well I'm honored to be the first." Your voice was barely audible, but he heard you loud and clear. "If I'm going to be truly honest, I do also feel the need to let you know you're the first one that's caught my attention in other ways as well. However I'm fully okay with getting to know you as a friend if you're uninterested in anything more than that." You froze on the spot, almost making the muscular man stumble back as his hand that was holding yours tugged against him. "I'm sorry, that was very forward. Please disregard that. I would very much like to just get to know you." Still standing in place you looked around yourself noticing you were now in a different hallway with many doors on each side of you.

Noticing some of them seemed to be dressing rooms for the background dancers and the one that seemed to be for Ateez. You slowly took a step forward letting Yeosang continue to lead you only a few more steps before you were outside the groups dressing room. Looking at the plaque on the door and then back to him you finally spoke, " I- I'm sorry for my reaction, I just.. I wasn't expecting that. But since you've been so honest with me I feel I should return the favor and let you know that I have definitely thought about more intimate scenarios involving you and myself as well. So I'm by no means going to turn you down if that's what you're insinuating." You were certain your cheeks were bright red as you looked up to the man with hopefull eyes. "Wonderful, then let's hurry with the fun half before the guys get back, we have all night to talk and get to know each other afterwards."

You hadn't even made it three steps in the door before Yeosang had you pinned against it, his lips pressed against your own, kissing you passionately, his one hand resting against your jaw, his other moving down your body to find it's place on your hip. You didn't expect this from him, but that didn't mean you were pleasantly surprised. Small soft moans escaping your lips only to be swallowed by the very hungry man in front of you. Without breaking the kiss for even a moment, he moved his hands down to your thighs giving them a gentle squeeze before lifting you up and placing you on the large vanity nearby.

Sloppy kisses and hands exploring each other already had you reeling in anticipation, your whines getting needier by the second. "Can I touch you sweetheart? I need to feel you wrapped around my fingers." The most drunken sounding yes escaped your mouth as his hands began to make their way down your thighs to your knees before traveling back up to your hips, squeezing and massaging them. His thumbs slipped under the top of your jeans, a light tug asking your permission, before taking them off of you fully. He reveled at the sight of your lower half exposed to him, licking his lips at the glistening cunt that sat before him just waiting to be devoured. Taking his shirt off, he stepped closer to you placing suckling kisses from your jaw to your shoulder and back again, all while slipping one of his fingers into your tight hole. You gasped at the intrusion, your eyes shutting at the feeling, already so close to your release. "Fuck baby, when's the last time anyone fucked this pretty little cunt of yours? You're so fucking tight for me."

Oh, he was going to ruin you for anyone else after this. Make you fit him perfectly molding your cunt to him and only him. You were perfect, you just didn't know it yet. "I, ah fuck - i.." He slipped in a second finger as you were trying to answer him to the best of your ability. "Fuuuckkk Yeo, shit, I've only ever done this twice, wrong person. Fuck please don't stop." That was it. He was determined to be the right person, the only person from here on out. "Fuck, sweet girl just waiting for me to claim you weren't you?" He slipped in a third finger, pumping it fast and hard hitting the perfect spot to make you unravel for him. Adding his thumb to the mix, tracing slow circles around your clit as his fingers pumped into you mercilessly, drove you over the edge. "Fuuck yes, yes, God yes, Yeo, make me yours." Your legs clamping together as you surrendered to your pleasure, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He slowed his pave as you rode out your high, removing his fingers to bring them to his mouth, sucking your sweet juices off them. "Shit you taste fucking delicious baby. Think you can come for me one more time before I fuck you sweetheart? You're already being such a good girl for me." You were already a mess, your mind wondering around itself in pure bliss, your previous times being nothing compared to the pleasure Yeosang just gave you using only his fingers. "Yes please, want you to taste me, all for you." You mumbled out, eyes barley open. "Such a pretty doll, so polite even being all fucked out already."

Pulling up a chair, he sat himself right infront of your soaked pussy, grabbing your thighs to hold you in place as he licked painfully slow up your folds. Your legs already trying to clamp together, still barely recovered from your previous orgasm. "Stay still precious. I want to enjoy my meal." You tried you best to follow his directions, but when his tongue made it's way deep inside you, your back arched, hips bucking up into him as your head fell back into the mirror. "I said be still princess, wouldn't want you hurting yourself, or getting hurt because you aren't listening." He emphasized his words with a hard press of his thumb to your clit. You didn't dare move but the cry you let out was all in vain as he was now rubbing harsh circles against your overly sensitive nub to hear you cry for him over and over again. You were so close to exploding under him your hands gripping the edge of the vanity for dear life. A few more harsh rubs as his tongue worked your walls strategically and you were done for. Your vision went white, stars floating around your eyes as you felt warmth flood your thighs dripping down your ass. Yeosang relentlessly lapping up every drop he could, circling your clit faster to prolong your release as long as possible.

What neither of you expected was at that very moment, was the door opening, revealing the rest of the members of Ateez standing there, mouths agape. "Shit. Uh." You struggled to straighten yourself up so you weren't on full display to the entire group but Yeosang wouldn't let you move. "Isn't she beautiful? So good for me too. I'm more soaked now than I was on stage." He looked towards the men who still hadn't moved an inch. San was the first to break the silence. "She's fucking gorgeous Yeo." The rest if the men nodded in agreement. "Oh don't I know it. Now before you all go getting any ideas, I'm going to stop that shit right now." He shot them all warning glares. Then he turned to look at you, "Princess will you please turn around for me?" His voice was even lower now, and you were in a trance. Obeying the blonde haired man you moved yourself off of the vanity trying to steady your shaking legs as you turned to face the mirror. "Good girl, now keep your eyes on yourself baby okay? I want you to see how beautiful you look when I fuck you." You shivered at his words, goosebumps spreading down your spine.

Yeosang deadpanned the group of men who were all breathing heavily at the sight before them. "Now I won't make you leave this time because I want you to listen very carefully got it?" The men all nodded, a few of them already palming their length through their pants. You heard Yeosangs belt coming undone, shortly after he was behind you one hand on your hip and the other rubbing his member up and down your sopping cunt collecting your slick before slowly pushing his thick long member inside you inch by inch. "Fuck Yeo, feel ssoo good" You're eyes rolled back as he fully sheathed himself inside. "So fucking tight for me baby, fit me perfectly." He pulled out until his tip was all that was left before thrusting into you with a quick snap. Keeping your eyes fixed on the mirror like you were told you let out a cry gasping at the painful pleasure of each harsh thrust. "FUCK AAHHH all for you, it's just for you!" Tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes as he continued to ram into you brutally, hitting all the right spots. He turned his attention to the men who most of which were now jerking themselves in their pants unable to control their need in the moment.

"I hope you all heard that. She's mine. There will be no fucking sharing so I hope you all get your fix this time, cause it will not happen again." He landed a rather hard smack to your ass as emphasis before pulling you upright by your hair. "Look at this baby, their all so needy for you. So beautiful infront of them. Too bad you're all for me. Isn't that right darling?" You were sobbing at this point your brain was no longer in control you'd fully surrendered to pleasure. To the pleasure Yeosang provided. "R-ri-right Yeo. Only - only yours, please, f-fuck- please Yeo..." You weren't fully sure why you were begging you just knew you were fucking close to snapping, your body ready to come undone for the third time tonight. Yeosang was kind enough to give you what you needed, pulling your back flush against his chest, his hand wrapped around your throat as he leaned in to suck on the dip of your neck, his other hand snaking it's way down to your pretty little clit. Speeding up his pace becoming more sloppy with each thrust he pulled away from your neck with a pop, the purple mark prominent only making him more eager. "I need you to tell me where you want me darling, I'm close." You barely registered his words, on the edge of your own high. "Inside, please Yeosang I need you inside of me, make me yours, please please" Coming undone as you begged him to do the same, your vision going white yet again, your body loosing its hold on itself. If it weren't for Yeosang holding you against him you definitely would've fallen. At the sound of your pleas, and the feeling of your walls spasming around him, the warm spray of your release coating his thighs and everything near by, his hips studdered deep into you his hot ropes of cum spurting all over your walls. Coming down from his own high he gave a few more shallow thrusts before pulling out of you completely.

Addressing the others in the room Yeosang said, "Now that you've all had your fun I suggest you go clean up and change. Before you do just know that we will not be speaking a word of this moving forward. And if she so chooses, she will be coming back with me." Moving quickly to kick the men out of the dressing room and lock the door, Yeosang made his way back to you to help you to the couch on the other side of the room. He gently helped you lay down making sure you were as comfortable as possible. "You did so good for me baby. Let me help you clean up and once your feeling good enough we can go to my hotel room and talk for as long as you'd like. Does that sound good?" You nodded a blissful smile painting your face.

As Yeosang went to find a towel to clean the two of you up, you recalled what he'd said to the group before kicking them out. "Yeo?" You called out to him. "Yes, darling?" He replied as his made his way back to you with a fresh towel and some water. "Did you mean what you said to them about bringing me home with you?" You asked him shyly. He'd seen you naked, hell, you just squinted on him twice, but the thought that he might want something more than that made your stomach flutter. He gently wiped away what he could before helping you with your clothing. "Of course I did. I don't say things. I don't mean beautiful. But it's your decision on if you want to come with me or not." It was almost instantly that replied, "I'd love to."

[aldritch-ao3]

jian called naoya "my love" and naoya called himself as choso n co's stepmum oh my god

chat. op is feeding us too much. i'm getting suspicious

.... naoya really does have the "genuinely excited to meet my step kids!!" energy in this chapter. the way that naoya was genuinely trying and jian acknowledged it, "It’s an oddly honourable and kind sentiment, especially coming from such a blatantly unkind man."

chat, i'm not hallucinating this right ?? guys ... i've been fangirling over these guys for so long. i'm actually gonna vomit holy shit

like, they're my new brainrot. i'm just thinking of jian carrying naoya and naoya is just happy about it but he won't show it, that fucker /fond.

and also. what would a human form curse jian look like? like, when you don't base it off of naoya? and not based on his past human form, from before he was a curse. if he was a human in the current jkk world, alive with his naoya?

really obsessed with you claiming suspicion like i didn't draw them kissing the other day. im feeding myself you're all just along for the ride but im so glad other people are having fun.

their dynamic IS really special to me bc they're so. complex. and yet really simple. their dynamic is so complicated and raises a lot of questions but the way they interact with each other isnt complicated at all.

human form (or a human disguise) for jian ... complicated question. i always picture him in a separate human form as the twins' master despite not being his original body, or really unique for anything but that connection. mostly just because it suits him really well. he is, at heart, a grouchy older man with nice hair

and then i thought about it more and this image entered my brain by force, so. uh. here you go.

[httpiastri]

also omg spill the tea on meeting the drivers in spa!!! (only if you want to ofc, ignore this if you don’t 🙏)

aaaaaa okay its time!!!!!! dont grill me if my opinions don't match someone else's, i tried to be as kind as i can 🙏 gonna divide this into categories bcs i met some ppl who are not currently on the f2/f3 grids aaaaa but yeah here we go 🤭

(i saw and was close to pretty much all drivers, but im only including the ones that stood out to me in certain ways here 😊 in order of their racing numbers !!)

f3 !!!

dino beganovic - okayyy soooo. this and paul's will go kinda in the same direction… like i was not surprised to see him act not like super happily lol. i understand! when around fans or just people he doesn't know too well, he was not very excited. but when he was talking to jamie (ollie's... idk what he is? manager ish?), he was that cute happy self he can be! but most of the time, it was the dino we get to see in most prema videos from this year (like the "how well do you know your teammates" one) where he's just…. idk :/ dont blame him tho, im sure he's a great guy once you get to know him!!

gabriele mini - honestly i feel like i barely saw him, except when he and his gf were leaving 😭 welp. but he seemed happy to carry around his trophy!!

arvid lindblad - saw him already on thursday and was shocked both because i couldn't believe my eyes (it's him!! he actually exists!!!!!) and bcs he was much shorter than i had anticipated 😭 sorry arvid

sami meguetounif - i didn't see him around a lot but i saw him on the friday helping his team pack up the tent (carrying big things and such), while all other drivers seemed to not really care (from what i could see)(not just trident, but all teams). respect !!!!!!

tim tramnitz - i knew he was tall but he looked even taller irl!!!! i was so shocked, i felt so tiny

ollie goethe - seemed really happy and lowkey surprised when fans wanted to take pics with him 🥺 had a terrible haircut tho lmao i felt so bad for him... but he seemed so sweet all weekend!!! rlly wish i had talked to him aaaaaa

sebastian montoya - saw him around a lot talking to all kinds of drivers, seems very social butterfly-y :) he seemed very happy after the feature, and he seemed to definitely bring up pepe's mood too because they were talking and joking around for a long time 🥺 his sister (paulina) is also even more gorgeous irl omfg i didn't even think that would be possible…. like we always talk about how amazing she looks in pics but she was so so gorgeous irl (sadly didn't get to see her interact with nikita but 💔 i'll live ig)

luke browning - saw him tons and !! why is he so handsome ?!?!?!! genuinely fell in love all over again. what even. like i keep constantly thinking back to the eye contact we shared and im just. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 seemed sweet with fans too, not super energetic but agreed to pics and such. wish i had shown him my browning bracelet or asked him to sign my sm shirt but i was too shy 💔

christian mansell - saw him get really happy when fans recognized and talked to him, i wanted to show him my mewsell bracelet but didn't have the courage 💔 but sweet and happy as usual!! no surprises there

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f2 !!!

victor martins - actually dont think i saw him all weekend 😭 idk how i managed that

zak o'sullivan - i saw him a few times, he seemed like a bit down ?? very understandable considering how he had glandular fever ?!?!?!?!!! poor boy :( but god did he look good despite it lmao

ollie bearman - very tall and definitely very popular, always ppl waiting to take pics with him lol! didnt speak to him and wasnt very close to him either but he seemed smiley and happy :) tbh i think i saw jamie more than i saw ollie himself ?? lmao

kimi antonelli - tiny!! and the hair is so so curly!!!! he was actually cuter irl, dont understand how he can do that but yeah. also very popular, and was very happy and kind when fans wanted pics hehe

zane maloney - think this guy had like a magnet attached to me or something because i saw him everywhere all the time 😭 like even when there were no other f2 drivers left, he was there… seemed sweet, his freckles are really cute irl too :)

jak crawford - so so tall!!! and the hair looked even better irl oh my god

juan manuel correa - was a second away from asking him for an autograph but he started talking on the phone at that exact moment 😶 seemed so sweet tho!

gabriel bortoleto - aka bortolotti as the commentators said 😐 saw him chatting with a bunch of different drivers, very much a social butterfly like sebas (or is it just because he's very liked in the paddock? likely both). wanted to go up to him when he was talking to luke (they stood outside their hospitality for a long time just talking) and ask for autographs on my sm tshirt (and to tell them that i loved their appearances on the pod) but was too nervous shdjdhdj

enzo fittipaldi - he had the cutest interaction ever with his gf, i nearly melted at the sight of them 🥺 and big bro was there supporting him all weekend too which was cute lol

paul aron - the driver i think most ppl are gonna read and ignore all other drivers lol. i only saw him on the friday and… well….. i wasnt surprised because i had not expected him to be the most open and excited etc. 🤷‍♀️ like he did agree to take pics and such! he put on a little smile for the fans! but there was nothing extra, which i understand. i think we all know the kind of expression he puts on and how "neutral" he looks at most times? like, when he's not around a close friend etc then he seems a little cold. to me, i feel like it just makes his smiles much more valuable in some way!! he wasnt very smiley even with karl or ralf, ig maybe he was focused on qualifying, but he didnt give anything extra and i dont blame him for that. still owns my heart !!!! <33 and i think that the difference from dino is that he seemed more focused and more ig neutral than cold like dino. paul didnt seem neither happy nor mad etc, just blank. 😌 (but god did he look SO GOOD, his hair was so light and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest istg. he looked so so good that i was too shy to even look too much at him 😭)

is*ck h*djar - pls i dont wanna say what i actually think but. his mom was so sweet 😭 my dad (who, for context, does hobby photography) held his camera aimed to the campos truck door in case pepe would come out, but she came out instead and like apologized and stuff for being in the way? so cute :((

pepe marti - 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 how do i even begin to describe him? when there aren't enough words in the entire world? the most gentle and sweet person ever actually, he seemed so tired and just done with the weekend when i talked to him but he still made time for me and tried to stay optimistic. sweetest boy ever <33333333 (i actually still cant really believe i met him and talked to him. like my brain still short-circuits a bit when i think about it. he was just truly an angel and i miss him so much <//3 i also cried a ton after that lol but he didn't see it so that's okay)(also his hands look even bigger irl 😁 sorry gtg)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

former drivers/others !!!

fred vesti - like 10 minutes after the gp had finished, i just happened to accidentally run into him? like he was just heading out of the gate i was going into and so i stopped and gasped and just!!!!! and no one around me even looked at him (we were walking around general admission yk, just a big crowd all heading out on the track) which made me really sad but it was so cool to see him irl!!! he was taller than i had expected awww and so pretty

ralf aron - the only sentence that's still swirling around in my head: "is it possible to fall in love at first sight if you're already a fan?"....... because i think i fell in love 🫠🫠 when i tell you he was gorgeous, i mean it on a NEW LEVEL. like im obsessed. i was obsessed before but now im obsessed^2. actually insane. and he has the exact same voice as paul omg i would not be able to tell them apart irl. i love him so much, please help

adrian campos (jr) - sorry for including two team principals but 😭 idk where i get my shyness and social anxiety from because my dad has some kind of talent with people. he talks to everyone and everyone like him ??? anyways so he just randomly went up to the campos team principal and asked about pepe and they had a short but very friendly discussion 😭 and then he even came up to my dad later for new pepe updates lmao so he was a really sweet guy!!!

rene rosin - i didnt speak to him, saw him around a lot tho, but pt 2 of "my dad collecting team principals"…. my dad went to the f3 paddock and came back to tell me that he talked to "some prema dude" about dino's car… the convo went my dad: "is dino's car perfect now?". prema dude: "perfect for what?!". dad: "perfect for winning, of course!". prema dude: "yes, of course!!" and they had laughed and joked around and what not. i thought it was a funny interaction but didnt think more about that. until a while later, my dad pointed at rene and went "there's my friend from before!!" and i just ?!? you asked RENE if dino's car was good????? so yeah thumbs up to rene for being a funny dude 😁

sacha fouquet - sorry for including this but he also looked very good irl 😶 alsoooo like when i was hurrying to the f3 feature (i was running very late and wanted to be there for the start), i had to go under this tunnel to get from the paddock to the grandstands?? like a pretty narrow tunnel, only like 2-3 ppl width... and guess tho were heading to the paddock right when i was rushing away? all of the prema performance/race engineers! lovely timing! because they're all so so cool and made me so so so nervous 😭 (and the way i was just having to pretend like i haven't seen them all in 100 vids and even made gifs of them lmao what)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

gold star to anyone who made it this far ⭐️ sorry for the random yapping lol and for saying everyone looked better irl but it is true!!!! this isnt proofread so i apologize for any mistakes etc, pls feel free to ask if anyone has any questions... <3<3

[ichig00]

When you know, you know

A/N: I didn't expect a part 2. Enjoyy

:fluff, romance, etc.

You went hand in hand with Louis into the masses of people eating in their own table around the restaurant. "I can't see mommy." He said, looking around worriedly. He really wouldn't see anyone because all he just saw was the lower body of the people around.

"Should I lift you up to get a better view?" You asked, making the child nod eagerly. You lift him up carefully as you both try to find for his parents.

"I thought you left - wait, who's this little guy?" Leon came up from behind, making you turn around. "Im Louis." The child answered and lent out a hand to shake hands, which Leon accepted while looking at you, confused at what's happening.

"He was waiting outside of the women's comfort room, looking for his mommy. No one is there, so I helped him out." You explained to him, Leon shifted his eyes to the child. "Are you okay, buddy?" Leon asked while his eyebrows were still furrowed.

"Yes, she said I'll be okay." The child pointed at you. You smiled at Louis and patted his head. "We should ask the staff for help." Leon suggested looking at you. You nodded and followed him as he led the way while you carried the child safely into your arms.

You were instructed to wait at the hotel lobby with the child as they tried to come in contact with the parents. Good thing this child is smart enough to know his parents' name, so it becomes much easier for the staff to contact their room.

You tried to start small talks with the child while he sat on your lap, so at least he could feel comfort when you're near him. He didn't want to be away from you. He's scared that you might leave him to nothingness. That's why he insists on being close to you.

And as for Leon, he was sitting next to you on  the couch of the lobby. Of course, he was included in the conversation you have with the child. Sometimes, he would smile genuinely while staring at you, holding the child.

You look perfect there. Everything felt right at the sudden moment. Your soft laughs filled the empty lobby and also filling the void aching in his heart. Every time he sees you happy, it makes him feel differently. That maybe in this cruel world, there is happiness. In this void, there might be a light. You are his hope to this cruel life, in this survival. You're love, in the world he didn't think he would have. You grew up with him as he fell deeper into the abyss of this world. You were with him as he fell, and he hates that.

He hates how you can't have the life that you've been wishing for. He hates how you just keep on hanging on the thread of hope. He hates how he couldn't give you what you want, to be your husband, and to be the father you have always dreamed of.

"I like blue! Blue looks like the sky and seas! It's so wide." Louis said as he made hand gesture while smiling lovely as he talked about the little things he liked. You let out a giggle, continuing the conversation with the child.

"How about Uncle Leon?" Louis asked, looking at Leon, who was lost in his thoughts. "Hm? What?" Leon asked as he sat properly, eyebrows raise as he tried to keep up with the conversation. You let out a small laugh. "What's your favourite colour, Louise asked." You said smiling to him as you adjusted Loius carefully to your lap.

"Hmm.. I would say blue also. Blue is very calming." Leon answered, followed by his small comment. Louis couldn't help but smile widely and get excited. "We have the same colour! Does it mean I'm cool, too?!" He asked in excitement, looking back at you for approval.

Your brows forrowed a little as you try so hard not to laugh. You look at Leon, and it seems like there's a familiar pride in his face. "You're always cool Louis! Even without having the same favourite color with Uncle Leon. Do you think Leon's cool?" You asked, looking over to Leon, laughing a little as he shruggs his shoulders and nods.

"Yes! He looks cool!" He said enthusiasticly, making you giggle. "I am, don't I?" Leon said, leaning closer to shuffle Louis hair. You smiled softly.

He would be a great dad.

"Can I go to Uncle Leon?" Louis asked pleadingly, looking back at you. You nod your head without hesitation. As the child happily hopped off of you and went to Leon. Leon was hesitant at first, looking at you, not knowing what to do. You just smiled and nodded at him.

Leon lifted Louis up to put him on his lap. As he keeps on looking at you for assurance, not knowing if he's doing the right thing or not. Too afraid that he might hurt the child. You always smile at him in response, assuring him that he's doing good and that nothing bad is going to happen. You were always there to assure him, in every moment where he didn't know his move. You're there, your calmness, warmth, and love.

Everything he needed and only you he wanted.

"Do you like space ships Uncle Leon?" Louis asked curiously and innocently. A soft smile forms into your lips as you take in the view in front of you. Leon is smiling a little, and you're glad you're the only one who can see this vulnerable side of him.

Before Leon can answer, Louis parents arrive. Thanking both you and Leon for taking care of Louis. Louis is brave, trying not to cry as he both bid you goodbyes. He knew he wouldn't see the both of you again.

"Would we meet again?" Louis asked as you carry him for a hug. "Yes, of course." You said it like a bitter taste of the alcohol in your mouth. It burns. Seeing this kid again is nearly impossible, but you hope. You're hoping to see him again and able to give him the safety for him to have a bright future.

"I won't cry then." Louis wiped his tears again, making you smile softly as you helped him off. He hugged Leon, too, while you carry Louis in your hands. Closing the gap between you and Leon. You met his gaze and saw pain. You're both in pain because at once, at this small moment the God had given you the taste of the dream you wish for.

"See you later." Louis bid goodbye as his parents took him away with a hint of relief that their child is found and safe.

"I thought we're on vacation." Leon broke the silence between the both of you once the family is out of sight. You look at him with a small smile before sighing. His eyes met yours, those beautiful eyes of him a lot of words that he couldn't say loudly.

"We are."

"Cheers." Leon said, hitting lightly your wine glass with his. You hummed in response and drank down the champagne as you stared at the city of love in front of you while you stood at the balcony of your hotel room. You were leaning to the railings while you admired the view as Leon copied your position.

"Do you think we'll get the chance to live a normal life?" It is now time for you to ask questions like this. Leon looked at you with meaningful eyes, but you didn't dare to meet his as you were lost in the sea of lights from the city.

It was hard for you to see this way, to ask this kind of question, where the hope in your eyes might lose in a second he answer truthfully. He don't want that. He loves your eyes and the light in it, how your eyes light up when you talk about things you like and dreams you hope for.

"I don't know. But there might be a chance." For you to live freely, away from danger, away from things that pains you. A life which he wished he could give you.

A chance to freely love you without worrying if he'll be dead the next second. Sounds good. He thought of it.

"Surely. Let's live together happily if that happens." You said, unconscious on what effect that could've given Leon. He smiled. He couldn't help himself.

He knows. You both know, you're both aware of the unsaid feeling lingering around. The unsaid feelings that he thought were buried six feet under.

"Let's get married then." He said, sighing and chugging down his champagne, his gaze shifting to the city in front. You looked at him, couldn't help but smile widely.

"Ask me out first." You pull yourself from the railings to pour you empty glass again. "Sure, should we start tomorrow?" He boldly asked, making you laugh a little. He follows you inside. You poured his glass with champagne.

"We could start now, you know." You said, taking a sip, moving your gaze to set upon his. A smirk grew on his lips, turning into a smile once his eyes landed on you. You both stand not so far but not too close to one another.

"Gladly." He said, offering a hand which you gladly accept as he guides you back to the balcony. You lean to the railings as he stands closely behind you, leaning in to you and breathing every scent of you.

"We both know a long time ago, didn't we?" You asked without looking back at him. He hummed before speaking. "Our unsaid feelings? Yes. It's obvious." His voice is filled with softness and hint of happiness which you only heard now.

You smiled at his reply. It is pretty obvious. Every move, glances, and touches on a mission says a lot of meaningful message. It says every feeling that you both share.

"I love you." You heard him said, which shocked you. You never thought he would say that word despite all the feelings he's keeping. You even thought that you'll be the first one saying that.

You gulped down, you champagne, and turned around to face him. He's smiling, softly and sweetly to you.

For once, he didn't think of anything bad at the moment. You seem to brush his worries away. His mind is filled with the thought of you, the thought of a future with you, the dreams.

For once in years, his eyes lit up with hope, the void in his heart is gone, and his face lightened up with joy.

"I love you too."

You reply. Wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands snake around your waste, pulling you into a soft and deep kiss as fireworks work around you. Everything is well.

Is not bad to hope, right?

Previous

[amethystina]

i hope youre doing well 💗i will always support you, regarding your recent post whtd helped me through probably the most trying time of my life and was one of the only things that bought me happiness at one point so im really grateful for you writing it and bringing it to life :) thank you so much. I’ve been rewatching tdj and in ep1, theres a schene where yohan is comforting a victim; he yawns and then his eyes start watering. I was wondering, do you think it was for show like gaon did, and he yawned to stimulate tears, or do you think it was genuine as he won the first case, making him a step closer to avenging isaac and isaacs look alike was standing there the whole time?

Id love to heard your insight and im so excited for chapter 42 thank uu ^^

I'm so glad that I could bring you happiness and help you through a difficult time 💜 I never set out to do that with Who Holds the Devil but, from what I've heard, it's become a source of joy and stability for a lot of people. Which is honestly amazing.

And, knowing that, I'm so happy that I started posting it when I did. Usually, I will try to finish a fanfic before I post it but Who Holds the Devil became one of the exceptions because I was afraid that if I didn't start posting, I would never do it (because I was so scared of fucking up) or, alternatively, never finish it. And it's kind of dizzying to think what would have happened (or hadn't happened, I guess?) if I hadn't done that.

So yeah. One of the best choices I've made, clearly, considering where it took us all xD

As for your question, I think that it's all fake on Yo Han's part. It's true that it's the first trial towards avenging Isaac, but even if that's big, I don't think it would be enough to make Yo Han genuinely cry? Not to mention that there are still so many steps left and he's probably already focused on the next one.

To me, it looks like Yo Han was faking compassion towards the crying woman. As she's telling her story, they make a lot of eye contact so it makes sense that Yo Han would go: "A normal person would cry now" and start faking his eyes getting watery. Because they're already shiny from tears before he embraces her. And then, as he's hugging her, he yawns — because he's not actually that invested — and a tear just happens to fall.

So, in some ways, I guess the tear itself wasn't planned and just more of a side effect of him trying to appear compassionate towards one of the people he's trying to trick? He needs to sell himself as the people's judge so, naturally, he needs to be seen caring for them. But the moment the woman wasn't looking at him anymore, he yawns. The tears he faked remain, though, and, eventually, they'll spill over like tears tend to do.

And then Yo Han realises that Ga On is watching and, because Yo Han is an asshole, he looks all smug and challenging. So the initial show was for the woman but Yo Han seized the opportunity to unnerve Ga On, too, for... idk, shits and giggles? xD

That's what I think! :D

And chapter 42 is up now! I hope you enjoy it 💜

[ladymidnight24]

Ok, so I know I'm totally just preaching to the choir on here, but I wanted to rant for a second and this is the only place I'm willing to do it, so-

Scrolling through the sad remains of Twitter today, I came across this post:

And I got super excited because I feel like I rarely see people flaunting their Asexuality like this (outside of the community here on Tumblr, that is), so I was just like "Oh fuck yeah, Ace rep!"

Then I made the mistake of scrolling through the comments... and that's really what this post is about, I just wanted a quick vent over some of the more repeated sentiments that I found.

(She responded to a few of them herself and I left in her responses, because yas queen, clap back at them!)

But anyway, quick tale of my experience as a bi-ace person: First and foremost, I think I look good/attractive/whatever and at times I do want to flaunt that because if I'm really feeling the way I look, why shouldn't I be encouraged to show off my muscles or wear a shirt that accentuates my boobs or pants that show off my ass? So yeah, I dress in a "sexual" manner from time to time, especially at pride where it lowkey feels like part of the point a lot of the time, and no, I'm not looking for any serial attention from that and yes, that is okay and normal and people need to stop acting like showing skin means you're some desperate whore (not that theres anything wrong with people who *are* hyper sexual in any way, Im just venting my own experience here).

Also, there were a lot of comments about why protection and rights matter for Ace people when at their most extreme they are A) not have sex and B) can basically go incognito in society and no one needs to know. But more complicated than that, isn't it? Because first of all, not all ace people are fully celibate (Im not) and all ace people I know personally still want to be in a relationship, just not necessarily a sexual one. In my case I got super lucky with my first major partner in that I was able to explain it to him and have him understand that I only get properly horny once in a blue moon, so if he wants sex, he needs to initiate and if Im really not feeling it at all, he needs to be okay with that. We were able to work out what the sexual part of our relationship would look like and things worked out, but, like I said, we were *lucky*.

And on the topic of commication and safety, that stuff is a two way street, it doesn't always help to be upfront about it. I have a friend who's fully non-sexual Ace and the first relationship they got into after feeling solid in that identity they *did* tell their partner right away that they're ace and explained that they're not interested in anything sexual at all and their partner responded by LYING and saying that he was fully non-sexual ace too, but then months into the relationship he tried to start shit and when she reminded him that she didn't want that he suddenly was talking about how they only think that because they've never had sex before, and they just need to change the medication they're taking because *thats* the cause and it's actually just religious trauma that makes her think she doesn't want it and he effectively tried to gaslight them into thinking they were straight when that is absolutley NOT the case and it's taken YEARS for them to feel solid in her identity again, not to mention start dating again (her current partner is lovely genuinely accepting and Im super happy for them)

So anyway, I just wanted to rant about this because it fucking SUCKS to constantly have people tell you that your too sexual to actually be ace or your unnatural for not wanting sex or your just confused or whatever and it can lead to genuinely horrifying situations of being forced into very uncomfortable situations because you're being gaslit by people who are supposed to and claim to love you.

[dotster001]

Hi grats on 1k!!!<3 id like to participate in the event too if you don’t mind i choose twisted wonderland

My OG: Riddle has always been the favorite child lol i first learned of what twisted wonderland was through my first matchup result here on tumblr before i knew what twisted wonderland was. The headcanon was so cute and i fell in love with him and his design when i started researching and it led me to falling in love with the game itself too. Obviously I chose his hand first when the game finally came to global and he was on my first home-screen and is still there to this day although there have been times i considered switching with malleus or azul i couldn’t bring myself too lol. He reminds me of a little red angry cat who just needs love 🥺.

About me: huh what do i say lol. well I’m a cis female, pronouns she/her, my mbti is infj, my enneagram type is 2w1, my zodiac is a Capricorn, im african American 5’2 with black wavy/curly hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks and hour glass figure.

I would describe me as kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward and clumsy. My weaknesses would be low self esteem and lack of confidence.

I like animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime cartoons music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets bread and helping people.

I dislike spiders loud sounds people who harm others people i care about not caring for themselves people who don’t consider others not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests.

Random facts about me would be that i pace a lot i talk to myself i sing when im alone and im a picky eater i have a pet cat and two sisters.

What kind of tale do i want: i dont know get creative i suppose maybe something fluffy and romantic i dont mind a little angst tho if you want as long as there is a happy ending. Just go nuts and surprise me if you can.

Thank you

(Hi I hope you like this! I was inspired by the fact that you got a match up before even knowing the game 😂 the story practically wrote itself.)

A Tale Where Riddle is Set up on a Blind Date, and it works out Better than Expected

"Trust me, Riddle, she's lit! You're gonna love her!"

"Sure Cater, but I don't have time for your nonsense."

Three weeks now. Three weeks of Cater trying to set him up on a blind date with some girl. He tried to be polite. But Cater wasn't taking the hint. And now Riddle was pretty sure he was about to lose it.

"Look, one date with her. One date and I promise, you'll be head over heels for her!"

Riddle was about to snap, when Trey heaved a heavy sigh. 

"Look, Riddle, you know normally I would never enable Cater. But in this case, I think he's right. I think you will genuinely enjoy a date with this girl."

If Trey was saying it, then there must be some truth to the matter.

"Okay, then you tell me, Trey. Who is she?"

Trey winced, "I can't say, you just have to trust me."

"Why can't you say?" Riddle asked with a pout.

"Because blind dates are more fun!"

"Because she didn't even agree until yesterday."

Two very different answers overlapped. Riddle folded his arms across his chest and frowned.

"Riddle, just trust me. If it goes badly you can collar  Cater forever, and I won't say a word," Trey said with a smirk.

"Hey!" Cater cried, but Riddle was slowly nodding in agreement.

"Alright then. You said you got her to agree. When is this date?" 

Cater winced, and muttered below his breath, "Tonight."

"Tonight!" Riddle shouted. "What if I had said no? How am I supposed to be ready in such a short time?"

"It's okay! I have an outfit picked out for you that I've been waiting to have you try!" Cater said, pushing Riddle in the direction of his room.

Needless to say, Riddle was less than excited to try out the new outfit.

                                            ….

Riddle was dressed casually for the first time in his entire life. Black jeans,  white Tshirt, red unbuttoned flannel on top of the Tshirt. He had to admit, it was comfortable, but he still felt a little out of place…

He'd been informed that his date would know what he was wearing, and would have a red rose in her hair. So he waited patiently at his table, until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Riddle?" 

The rose in your hair was lovely. You looked good in red. 

Those were his first two thoughts before he realized you were his blind date.

"Prefect? You're…."

"Yeah," you laughed, "I guess so."

You took a seat across from him, and Riddle took a sip of water to hopefully hide his flushed cheeks.

"Can I tell you the truth?" You said sheepishly. "I only agreed to this because Cater accidentally hinted that the blind date was you."

Riddle's face went even redder and he tried to sputter out a good response, but it came out as….

"Beautiful! So pretty!"

You furrowed your brow. "I mean, yeah, you do look pretty in the casual clothes I guess."

"Sevens," he muttered, taking another sip of water and trying not to choke. "You look beautiful."

You stared for a moment. Then you giggled. "Heh, thanks."

There was a heavy silence for a moment, and Riddle decided that if you were honest, he should be too.

"I kept turning Cater down because I didn't think he'd be setting me up with you."

The back of your neck prickled and your gaze dropped to the floor.

"We seem to be in agreement then."

"Yes," he took your hand, and softly rubbed his thumb along your knuckles. 

He grinned maliciously. 

" Even if we weren't, rule 137 states that if you get set up on a blind date with the queen, you are required to date until the next blind date occurs."

"You made that up!"

"I would never!" He pressed a hand to his chest in mock indignation. "I take my position very seriously."

"Well, rule 76 in my rulebook says that if the queen makes up a rule,  then she has to date me until I say otherwise."

You loved his genuine smiles. So when his face radiated like the sun, your heart skipped a beat.

"I guess we're stuck together."

"I guess so."

"Well, I'll make the most of it then," he confidently kissed the back of your hand, like a prince greeting his princess.

                                   ….

From the back of the restaurant Cater looks on in mild disappointment.

"I guess they don't need us to serenade them then."

Trey set the microphone down with a relieved laugh.

"Told you so."

[instructionsnotincluded]

urgh i’m sure you’re sick of hearing about it but i have no friends who watch obx and idk where else to channel my feelings 😭 I AM SO UPSET. I genuinely can’t believe they’ve done this, i was lulled into a false sense of security by the announcement for season 5 because i thought surely Rudy would hang on for one final season. I was so convinced rafe would die after his goodbye to sophia that i was distracted from the real danger (sidebar i hated that they build up that relationship just to end it in one sentence over a phone call, i really had hope after rafe telling her it was okay).

I wish they’d brought it to a close this season so badly and just given them a happy ending. The worst part is i was genuinely enjoying part 2 for the most part even with the crazy plot lines. I was hopeful we’d get some real resolution following JJs crash out with him facing up to his issues and talking it out, particularly with Kiara.

The lack of Jiara was genuinely so jarring and obvious i assumed it was intentional and would come to some sort of head wherein JJ would acknowledge how distant he had been and there would be some kind of emotional breakthrough/makeup for the couple but NO. like they really gave us nothing like the handshake when they parted ways had me screaming WHAT WAS THAT.

the death was so so badly done like obviously we would never be happy with JJs death but there were so many better ways around it, having him actively die protecting the pogues not just randomly being stabbed while standing around, having him actually get to say goodbye to them?! POPE NEVER GETTING TO SAY I LOVE YOU BACK?? and like why was he buried in the sand in fucking morocco that literally broke my heart like alone and to be forgotten and never visited in the fucking desert?? Im so angry i’ve been so excited for this season for the longest time and had so much hope based off part 1, i really felt like they’d been listening to the fans and giving us what we wanted in terms of season 1 vibes and i was so hyped to rewatch it all once i finished yesterday, but now the entire thing feels so tainted??

he suffered so much for absolutely nothing and no reason whatsoever. i feel i can’t even rewatch the parts of pt2 that i enjoyed again because they’re so tainted by the jarring energy between rudy and maddison now that i know it’s not part of the plot. it’s so glaringly obvious that none of this was planned, even if there’s some truth in them initially wanting JJ killed off there’s no way they would’ve followed through with it after seeing how much of a fan favourite he became. like they really gave bro an entire arc of suffering with no resolution other than him saving sarah then just killed him??

i feel so upset today idek what to do with myself, i can no longer enjoy any of my jj content without feeling so heartbroken. at least if they’d just had him leave or given him some form of resolution before his death the whole series wouldn’t feel so tainted… sorry for this insanely long ramble i just needed to offload this somewhere. thank god for people like you working harder than these god damn writers to produce actual good plots 😭💗

Never be sorry! We're all upset! I haven't seen any post or response defending the season, like I do really think everyone hated the ending and hated the way it went down. I've seen a lot about just wishing it had gone down different, not that he didn't die, but that it was for an actual reason. Which is a complaint I have about a lot of actual books. I'm not upset someone died, I'm just upset that it always feels pointless and makes the story feel like it should never have happened.

I was also lulled into the false sense of security with season five. I thought for sure it was because Rudy wanted to leave and they decided to give it a proper ending and not doing anything drastic with his character. Oh how I was wrong. My hope is that Rafe and Sofia are able to work through things in season five, and that they can get to a better place, because I do think they really love each other, and I do think they still do. But I guess we'll see if they force Kiara and Rafe together or not...

You can very much tell that there is a lot of tension between JJ and Kiara because there's a lot of tension between the actors. It was not hidden well at all, they barely interact with one another and if you haven't watched Season three or the first part of season four, you would never know they were supposed to be in love. If anything, it looked like they hated each other.

JJ's entire death scene and the scenes following were just piss poor. Everything about it was bad, and I think it's because everyone knew that this was going to be bad. Everyone knew this would end the show. They're literally watching and filming the end of this series and these stories and they couldn't do anything to make it better. I think it feels and looks so bad, because they felt the same way we do about it.

I'm upset too, it's been a trash week and it feels like the one thing we were looking forward to made it so much worse. It's ok to be upset, and it's ok to not want to see or read anything to do with the Pogues right now. Totally understandable. I felt the same way right after, like do I want to take a break from Audrey and JJ for a while? But I decided that JJ's still alive as long as we write him, as long as we love him, and I think we all deserve that.

[ladylyra]

i just wanna say ive been following you since the white2 nuzlocke stuff and it's been really cool to see your art style and designs develop over time. your work, especially the oc content, inspires me a lot so thank you very much for choosing to share!

white2 feels like forever ago, looking back, i started working on that right out of highschool and now i'm close to graduating college. i've changed majors and moved twice, but something that has stayed the same is that i've been making silly nuzlocke content. white2 doesn't have a lot of 'content' in hindsight (compared to something like my current platinum run), but it was where i began to try, and began sharing stuff i didn't honestly think a lot of people would pay mind to. the support i got over all these years definitely contributed to me eventually finally doing an 'official' actual comic of sorts.

i know oc content doesn't perform comparatively well to my fandom stuff, but what i truly enjoy at the end of the day is the things i create. i'm really happy there's people out there that can also enjoy that, too. i have future projects im excited to work on and eventually share, and even hope to start sharing more of my non-gijinka ocs.

and, finally i'll say i'm happy i can inspire you!! i enjoy drawing so much and feel i am in a genuinely good place right now with how i feel about my own work and not particularly caring about outside forces like algorithms, numbers, ect. because i just like having the chance to share. thank you everyone!!! <3333 ^_^ i love u

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

thinking back now in nostalgic recollection of my times on amino, i wont share who i once was, i wont say where i was popular, but back then it was shockingly easy to become a popular artist on there, it was so cool being a part of a community, and how when you really put in a lot of effort other people could submit your art to be featured, and how everyone was so much more interactive since they were like ya know, grouped by fandom and or group

it was so fun fighting for the number one spot on the leaderboard its where i spent my earliest years of drawing...

its so strange being here on tumblr as some rando with a small handful of buddies who interact with me.

one funny thing is once you get popular enough people stop talking to you except the occasional really excited person whos *really* eager to talk to you (its so sweet...) but like everyone else is just...weirdly distant-

its a little like how i am now, but now its quiet because im so unpopular! its so neat seeing how much it changes, i wonder if it differs depending on the platform how popular people are treated? i love studying the like, psychological side of things. I dont think im likely to ever find out, but if anyone popular on here has some insight id love to hear your experiences with it, or how you felt on other sites, or people who were previously popular other places but find it really quiet here, etc.

though i would like to add a random note: while i may have had a few thousand followers on amino- they have a SERIOUS bot problem, i would be INCREDIBLY unsurprised if over half if not more of my followers were actually bots, i dont think that exactly counts as true popularity, but regardless other people viewed it as the same thing as genuine popularity and as such, treated me accordingly, i also managed to reach the top of one of the leaderboards, mostly by posting agressively- which probably helped matters. It was a very different system than most sites and i assure you i do not expect any sort of clout over it and frankly id rather not draw the attention of certain people from that time in my life who were...weird toward me in a way that made me uncomfortable and thus i will be keeping most details of it private. im happy to answer most questions if anyone has any especially on if i think amino is a good site or not to hang out on for artists but nothing revealing please , for my sense of safety and comfort-thank you-

on that note i do not suggest joining amino if you're a child, though i left in part because it is frankly, mostly children, ive had personal experiences (and so have my friends) with people who were very dangerous toward children on there though im not entirely sure if they knew i was a child regardless they pushed my boundaries in a very uncomfortable way and this was a VERY common complaint about amino when i was younger) I think it was a fun site and all, and with the right safety rules it was MOSTLY safe, but a LARGE part of why i wasnt as badly affected as some of my friends is because i was better at setting boundaries and I knew what was and wasnt appropriate and i blocked people that made me uncomfortable and my mom was careful to teach me internet safety rules. A lot of my friends didn't have that security and safety let alone parents they could tell comfortably "this person is making me uncomfortable and i need help from an adult"

so please do not take this as a reason to join amino ESPECIALLY if you are underage even though i know most of the userbase is quite young, it does not have safety protections in place for these children and its scary stuff. and remember to please trust the internet safety rules, i know it can be kind of annoying to have rules, but straight up ive had to scold my younger friends for randomly doxxing themselves to me and it scares the frick out of me that people would just tell me where they go to school-which yes is also doxxing yourself dONT DO THAT PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU- no im not mad at you or scolding you JUST FREAKING WORRIED OKAY theres some really dangerous people who might have hurt me when i was younger if i Hadn't known better!!! and dont ask for that information of other people please! or share your real name! do! not! but im getting derailed now-and IF YOURE ONE OF MY FRIENDS

I LOVE YOU BUT I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT INFORMATION PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF OR I AM GOING MOMMA MODE AND YOU ARE GETTING A LECTURE, EVEN IF YOURE NOT A CHILD I WILL SCOLD YOU- YES IM AWARE IM MILDLY A HIPOCRATE AS SOME OF MY (NOTE: **ADULT FRIENDS WHO ARE CAPABLE OF DRIVING AND MAKING CHOICES FOR THEMSELVES AND VOTE AND STUFF AND THEREFORE, ARE OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE SUCH DRASTIC DECISIONS AND GRASP THE DANGERS OF IT AND KNOW THE SAFETY RULES AND I HAVE KNOWN FOR MANY MANY YEARS TO BUILD THIS LEVEL OF TRUST**) FRIENDS HAVE COME TO VISIT ME , BUT THAT WAS STILL A VERY CAREFULLY DONE PROCESS AND THERES A LOT OF RULES YOU SHOULD FOLLOW WHEN DOING THAT, JUST FOR THE RECORD, YOU KNOW, SO YOU DONT GET SERIAL KILLERED OR SOMETHING ELSE HORRIBLE- i love you please stay safe- please do not just assume im not a serial killer, i didint even trust that nightowl and person werent serial killers untill theyd visited me at least once and did not do any serial killing

uhh i honestly kind of lost my train of thought and forgot what i was writing about this is just a ramble, toodloo stay safe ya little gremlins and remember popularity means nothing its just a random thing that happens to people sometimes, and is rarely based in pure skill alone and stuff, stay hydrated ,and maybe do some stretches or something or your bones will get all crunchy and pop rocky if you dont, love you guys!

[swordsmans]

I have just recently found your fics on ao3 and am slowly working my way through them because they are divine and have also scrolled through your tumblr from time to time and just found your zolu rec list and imagine my shock when you actually recommended on of my super old fics from ff.net "in the blink of an eye" That one is soooo old and I didn't think anyone even remembered that one anymore and the fact that it's such an amazing writer like you that does makes me so happy

I'm currently rewriting and polishing all my old one piece stuff to upload on ao3 since I have learned a lot since then. Finished only one so far but this definitely gave me the boost to continue and tackle "blink" next

Just wanted to send a quick thank you sorry for rambling this just really made my day ngl

oh my god hi!! hello!!! holy shit!!! the internet is literally twelve people, im absolutely convinced omg. AAAA I GENUINELY LOVE YOUR FIC SO MUCH!!! it's one of the few older fanfics that ive kept coming back to over the years and i have always especially adored how you styled it. it is SO GOOD!!!! <333 im so excited to hear that you're uploading things to ao3!!! i will check out your page!! if you decide to tackle "blink" i would be absolutely stoked, but i hope either way you consider crossposting it to the archive so more people might be able to discover it!! ( ╥ω╥ ) <3

and im so glad youve been enjoying my fics too!! wow!! we are holding hands omg this absolutely made my day, aahhh!!!

(a link to the fic for anyone wondering!!)

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

hey there! my name is nura from canada and im very happy to have come across your blog! i used to casually watch ipkknd with my mom when it first aired more than 10 yrs ago but i didn't remember anything besides the leads so now im watching it all over again and im HOOKED. im glad that there is a fandom for the show, i would've hated feeling so alone in my love for this show.

i was going thru your posts and i noticed in one recent ask you had answered smth along the lines of the general disinterest of the cast for the show and i think their unwillingness to do anything more with the show. can you pls elaborate a little on this as i have no idea what this show was like behind the scenes. i apologize in advance in case i am misinterpreting your answer!

thank you and i can't wait to dive deeper into your blog and possibly bug you even more as i continue my rewatch 💙💙

- nura

Hello fellow Canadian :)

I am so glad you're enjoying watching IPKKND!!! Fandom makes things memorable for everyone :) I've met some of my closest friends due to this show and it's so exciting to chat up about everything you liked about it!!!

Oh don't worry, the cast is actually the best friends off screen. Barun (Arnav), Sanaya (Khushi) and I think Akshay (Akash) even live in the same building! And they all (which includes Daljeet [Anjali], Abhaas [Shyam] and the writer Gautam) often keep hanging out with each other and going on trips together!

The show was also amazing off screen, you'd roll off your bed laughing at their chaotic behind the screen interviews.

Interviewer asks about why Khushi wants to leave post Arnav telling her she's the biggest mistake of his life scene:

Sanaya: Oh nothing, you see my husband has some gas issues.

Barun (yawning and laughing): Haan I have gas.

Sanaya: Exactly, so I need to take a break from this.

LOL.

But yeah Barun himself quit the show (thank God) because he (accurately) didn't see where the show was going and why he needed to be a part of it. Also the cast in general, especially the leads aren't invested in simply seeing IPK again on screen. Which, understandable. A lot of writing and effort went into making IPK in the first place - to simply see it again as a cash grab (which they did with Ek Jashn) doesn't seem like reason enough. Also Sanaya and Barun have made it very very clear that they really aren't into daily soaps and would much prefer to be in limited series and they're both beyond what IPK is.

Barun has consciously chosen characters that are non romantic in nature to shed off the 'romance' projects. Which is a bit of a shame because few people sell romance the way he does! Sanaya is chilling. Lol she always is.

It's nothing bad, it's just that naturally they're probably not as attached to the show as much as the fans are because tbh, how famous or a classic IPK is was understood some time after the show ended as opposed to when it ran.

It's not like they don't like the show - of course they do granted that it put a few of them on the map, it was a different show and they found great friends out of it - but there actually doesn't seem to be any active engagement regarding the show.

Some examples of when you can see the cast being devoted to their shows like their fans would include the cast of Sarabhai V/S Sarabhai (there was a cute insta reel a few months ago of all of them singing the title song of the show) or Arjun Bijlani from Miley Jab Hum Tum - dude genuinely loves his show so much that when he's clean shaven he posts on Insta that it's #Mayank (which was his character's name).

And it's not a bad thing, it's just that the actors aren't invested in the show they did ten years ago - which happens. In several interviews Barun has little comments on Arnav, he has more of a critical analysis why IPK was different and the writing of the show (he's more inclined to writing in general). And Sanaya also has very little to say about Khushi apart from it being similar to her so she had fun playing it. I think in the recent most interviews where they had questions regarding 'what would their character do' currently or were asked to behave like their characters - they were both a little lost on what to do and had nothing apart from a few funny comments.

Which, again, isn't a bad thing at all.

In fact it probably tells what a big role the writer and director play in fleshing out these characters! Gautam Hegde (the writer) still waxes some of the most beautiful lines about IPKKND.

And if anything the Rewind showed that Barun gets ASR only if there's a purpose to it. And Sanaya can switch into Khushi when she's performing somewhere.

It can feel a bit bittersweet for a fan because a show means so much for a viewing experience. So I won't say that the cast is 'unwilling' - I'd say they're reluctant.

And that's different.

I don't think Barun and Sanaya would ever reprise Arnav and Khushi beyond an hour of shooting if there wasn't anything meaningful to it.

So keeping all this in mind I'm very happy not seeing IPK on screen because current Indian television landscape is terrible and if there's no actual purpose to bringing IPK on screen then what?

It'll just be a Season 3 of Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Rise Bhi or Season 2 of Pratigya!

And canonically Arnav and Khushi got their happily ever after and I'd love it to remain that way.

Lol this was a long answer!!!

Much love Nura,

Jalebi

[ashtoberr]

ASHUTA IS SO COOL OHHH MYYY GODDD •□•!!!!!

Hi hi I loveeee your csm oc / insert ♡♡ THEYRE SO COOL Her lore is so interesting 💭💭 At least. The lore that I've seen so far is so interesting. AND HER DESIGN IS SO CUTE I ADORE IT SM 🏂🏾🏂🏾🏂🏾

I always love it when ocs break the "norm" of their universe (idk if that makes sense but her being a vampire when most, if not all of the supernatural entities are devils/Devil adjacent is so swag and cool and based I LOVE SEEING CHARACTERS LIKE THAT 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽)

Her and Aki seem so cute too :3cc I don't think you understand how STOKED I was to see them in the selfship tag. Saw it and ran around my room screaming (in spirit not in action) because YES !!! FINALLY!!! IM STARTING TO SEE MORE PEOPLE W/ CSM SELF SHIPS / OC X CC SHIPS !!!!

I wanna know all ur thoughts about Ashuta 💭💭 She genuinely seems like such a cool character they're so epic and awesome n cool n swag ((o(^∇^)o))

OMG HI!!!! IM SORRY I JUST SAW THIS Ahhh thank you so much!!! It's super exciting to met another CSM selfshipper!!!! :DDD I'd love to hear abt ur self insert omg I'm so glad you like her!!!!!!! It actually means a lot, she makes me really happy to work on :D

And trust me I will provide on Ashuta lore >:3 Here is The Food For Today. I didn't include art this time bc I have been eepy. I have ideas for long after this, but this is the general gist. I plan to eventually draw a lot (if not all) of this out. Here's her concept for her first appearance and mission (Chapters 14 to 20, or up to episode 7 in the anime):

So, after being found by Makima:

She is added to the team briefly after Denji and Power. I'm currently undecided at which point she should enter the story; I'm thinking about prior to Chapter 14.

Makima helps her find a place (up until this point, she's been homeless since becoming a vampire) near Aki's apartment, encouraging her to make friends. She suggests Denji could use a friend since he's similar to her (not fully human, rough background).

Ashuta believes that since she'll be on a team of devils and humans, she would be more likely to make friends since they should be more accepting, right? She shows up to the Hayakawa apartment with some food, trying to introduce herself as a new member of the team (and not disclosing herself as a vampire yet- Power can tell, but doesn't care enough to point it out).

Denji thinks at first she's friendly, but a bit too polite and wonders how someone like her got chosen by Makima. Power doesn't initially feel strongly about her either way, though she's delighted to meet Meowy.

Aki thinks she's polite (and finally someone easy for him to get along with on his squad), but questions why she became a devil hunter after a couple hours of them hanging out. She briefly explains that she's a vampire, and that her life was ruined by the Vampire Devil. Aki's tone quickly changes knowing she's not human, and the night is sort of abruptly ended.

CHAPTER 14:

She's integrated into the group with Chapter 14's mission in the hotel being her first (could be retconned later.)

She's a bit hurt with the talk of Aki and Arai not trusting "non-humans" and saying they don't have human rights, so she's quick to become very quiet since she assumed Makima's team of devils and humans meant she was more likely to be accepted.

Himeno can quickly tell that she looks upset and comes over to strike up a conversation, and the two make small talk throughout the mission. She tells her to not mind Aki, that he's just had bad experiences with devils. Ashuta protests that she's not a devil, but a devil makes an appearance before Himeno can respond.

Himeno discusses with Aki later in the mission that she's surprised Ashuta is so conscientious for a vampire- Aki shrugs and believes it's her being deceptive. Himeno goes to suggest he give Ashuta a chance.

CHAPTER 15:

Ashuta does bond a bit with Denji over the mission, both of them asking each other questions about their respective species ("So are you allergic to garlic?" and "Does it hurt when your chainsaws come out?")

CHAPTER 16:

In hopes of winning Aki's approval, Ashuta offers to help Aki hunt for the devil. She explains that since vampires don't really need to sleep much, she could help him all he wants.

Aki, unimpressed, asks why she's so hellbent on trying to please him when he doesn't care about wether she lives or dies as a non-human.

CHAPTER 18:

In the hysteria of facing the eternity devil, Ashuta finally snaps at Kobeni after trying to keep everyone calm the entire mission, telling her she's going to be a shit devil hunter if she freaks out at the slightest inconvenience. Kobeni yells back that it was easy for her to say, that she'd been calm and collected the entire mission because she can't die. Ashuta yells at her that pussying out and turning on her teammates made it more likely for all of them to die, and to shut the fuck up and help if she was going to stay a devil hunter. It certainly doesn't make Kobeni like her, but it shuts her up.

CHAPTER 20:

Ashuta joins the newbie welcome party. Denji questions how she can eat if she's a vampire, and she shrugs and explains that it's the same way devils eat- the only difference is human food isn't of nutritional substance to her and she doesn't retain any energy from it, she eats it for nostalgia purposes and the taste.

Ashuta lightens up when Makima joins the party, glad to see someone familiar- she considers Makima a friend, being the first person who was nice to her.

During the party, Makima asks Aki how Ashuta's first mission was, and wether she had done satisfactory. Aki admits that she did well, and Ashuta can't help but be a little happy at his approval.

As the night progresses, she gets drunk enough where she feels less afraid to approach Aki again. The two actually end up talking some. While drunk, Aki apologizes for the way that he had regarded her earlier in the night, and that she handled her first mission well, remaining composed in such a stressful situation .

Ashuta shrugs, and says it's fine- when she was turned into a vampire, she'd been shunned by everyone she once knew. She explains she still considers herself the same person she was before, but she fears rejection from humans more than she fears injuries from devils. He suggests she come stop by their apartment again sometime (more out of drunken guilt than actual like for her, but it's a start to them becoming friends).

[sonwar]

hello!! i would like to first preface that i'm a fan of your writing (ao3 user sonwar) from your kpop works (namely the seokhoon (seventeen) titled 'do you know my heart? (i can't be without you)' in 2020. and if i remembered you wrongly, and you have in fact never heard of this fic or the kpop group before please feel free to delete this ask i apologise deeply aaaaa (whoops ahahaaa im sorry if that's the case)

today. as one does, i was thinking of this fic: its definitely one of the bigger fics the seokhoon tag has seen, and also one of those fics which leave a kind of Impact. even as i ponder seokhoon today as a writer myself, i find so many of the symbols and metaphors i use in my writing to have come from that fic. (if you remember) the ideas of jihoon admiring seokmin's singing & calling him the best singer—i took that and i turned it into a kind of how jihoon's music has been made real vs seokmin's which comes more as instinct—and jihoon, who is in awe of this. and of course seokmin thinking about jihoon all the time—that's something that i genuinely hold so close to my heart. it's so sweet and just soooo seokmin. aaaaaa

your writing there has such a tender and sweet quality to it that ive been striving to achieve—emotion comes across in a way that is. muted (i mean this positively). i feel comfortable reading it because it never feels shocking everything just feels so natural. those 33k words are a source of comfort. i love and value growth in characters/the progression of time in fic, and oh man!!!! you really show the emotional growth of seokhoon so incredibly well in that fic. its so good to me. it feels so alive because of the references you made but also because of how you wrote them. to create life!!! it's so incredible because. its all just so rich and perfect and good and i'm so grateful that ive been able to read this and have it affect me on such a level. my comment on that fic does nothing to live up to what i actually thought of it and now even if i cant convey my appreciation on the fic comments itself, i tried to find another way to reach out to you (hence, this lengthy anon ask)

feel free to ignore this/not reply!!! i understand that you've orphaned the seokhoons for a reason but in a way i just really wanted to let you know that your writing has made me feel so much. and for that! i am so grateful!! thank you again and so much for all of it.

hi anon! you have me right, i am responsible for do you know my heart (as well as "when i'm with you i bloom" and "i'm dying to be taken apart" in case you were looking for me...) i had sort of decided i was going to keep my kpop fandom side off tumblr, since i have found it to be sort of unwelcoming towards kpop, for whatever reason? but your message was so touching i'm throwing that out the window and doing whatever i want anyway! (more under the cut <3)

Letting you know off the bat that your message made me! incredibly emotional and teary eyed! Thank you very much for your kind words, you really can't know how much it means to me, and I'm so glad you reached out to me this way as well! I genuinely got so excited when I read your ask, I'm always happy to talk fics and even more happy to talk seokhoon, as I don't have many people to discuss them with! So thank you! The reason why I orphaned my old fics is...probably a lot more simple than what you might be thinking? The truth is, after posting those three seokhoon fics (which I wrote in pretty quick succession to each other), I went about two years without writing anything at all because I didn't have the bandwidth for it, and then I wrote The Mystery of The Pears in some kind of fugue state over the course of a couple months, and when I read that back to myself I felt that my writing had grown so much, I didn't really want that writing to be associated with my writing of a few years ago. But, to be honest, I re-read my Seokhoon fics again a few weeks ago and found that I enjoyed them much more than I thought I would, and much more than I did when I first wrote them, so I wonder if it's less that my writing has grown and maybe more that I've learned to be kinder towards myself...that'll teach me to orphan fics without completely thinking it through first, I guess. (that being said! i'd like you to know i am still planning on writing more seokhoon! seventeen is very near and dear to my heart, like. i really can't put into words the love i have for those boys, which is to say that i'll probably be a carat for as long as they're seventeen, and maybe even a little longer than that. plus, i feel personally tasked with bringing more seokhoon into the world, so, you know. currently, i'm really trying to finish a seokhoon fic i promised a friend MONTHS ago, even before tmotp was finished, and then i have about...3? seokhoon wips i've started and would like to finish? whether they all get done is to be seen, but hopefully!) Anyway...I have to say, I really love the way you took my little headcanon about Jihoon admiring Seokmin's singing and devolped it further! It's something I think a lot about, too, I think it's so interesting that, objectively, Seokmin has a much wider range and capacity as a singer, but that ever since Jihoon was a trainee he's been told he "already knows how to sing" and "doesn't need singing lessons." It makes me wonder how Jihoon approaches singing, if it's something that he considers more physical, like a muscle that he can control, rather than something emotional, which I think might be closer to how Seokmin approaches singing. I mention this because, considering that Jihoon is also the one making guides for the others to follow and the one directing them in the recording booth, I'm a litte curious about how those different approaches meet together in a more practical way, if that makes sense. I do still think it's something Jihoon would admire and think about a lot if only because it would be so different from his own approach. I also have some theories about certain songs in their discography being written specifically for Seokmin's voice (Same Dream Same Mind Same Night immediately comes to mind, I really think out of all their songs, that's the one that showcases the style Seokmin's voice is suited to the most and he really shines on that song...)

I am of the belief that Seokmin would have been watching Jihoon a lot longer than Jihoon would have been watching him...something about admiration that shifts and changes the closer you get to it...And I don't think Seokmin knows how to not take care of people, it's just who he is, but I also think that feeling is heightened a little bit with Jihoon specifically, who takes on a lot of responsibility without ever complaining about it, and who describes himself as someone who deals with things on his own. I think (and I've seen him) he would try to find ways to make things easier for Jihoon without him having to ask for it first, so that's where that comes from. I think muted is one of the sweetest ways anyone has described the way I write emotions. I like the idea of emotions that come easily and gradually, like. Slow drip love rather than sudden and all-consuming (and, that way, when trying to convey something that is bigger and overwhelming, it's easier to contrast those two emotions against each other), so thank you very much for that. I also think it's very funny you mention the way I wrote the progression of Seokhoon in that fic because, while I find your words incredibly kind and I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it, and I can still sort of see why I wrote that fic the way I did, I do sometimes consider sort of re-writing a different version of that fic because I'm so sure I could do it better now...nowadays, I think the timeline would be a little different? Idk. Something for future me to consider... Anyway! Thank you, again, for such a lovely ask, I really am so very thankful, and I'm so glad you enjoyed my Seokhoon. Please feel free to message me whenever you'd like! (I'm also on twt! I only use tumblr on browser so I only log on when I'm using my laptop, but I'm a lot more active on twt.) Also, if you ever post your fics or already have, please let me know! I'd love to read them, and I'm always looking for more Seokhoon fics, since there's so very little of them to go around, as I'm sure you know...

[down-thedrain]

for the opinion post ummm let me know your opinion on either six or mark heathcliff ^_^

ohhhhhhg okay . youre taking me out of my comfort zone i never thing about the alternates LMFAOOOOOO. putting this under the cut cuz its long

ig ill start with mark??? first of all nonbinary as hell and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you. second xe's a very interesting character to talk about because basically everything i can say about xem spirals into other characters but ill try to keep this focused on xem as much as possible. anyways GOD i miss act 1 when we were constantly learning new information about xyr life and xyr suicide. i honestly really wish the first act had gone even farther with establishing xem because i feel like all we really know about xem is the encounter and xyr paranoia. especially since alex didn't intend to go much farther with xem after the first act it would have been nice to get more detail with xem back then.

LUCKILY I AM THE RULER OF MAKING UP RANDOM BULLSHIT ABOUT CHARACTERS ! SO I DONT CARE

i genuinely think mark had so much love to give to so many people but it just got stifled again and again and its extremely heartbreaking . i think mark wanted to be better and make a difference in the world but ultimately was never allowed to. xe was excited to have a baby sister, as evidenced by alt!cesar using her against xem in vol 1 restored. xe was glad to FINALLY leave school (i believe xe was a senior when xe died. which is awful but yk) after giving everything xe had left in xem to just barely pass. xe loves a lot of things about life like the autumn leaves and drumming and . xyr one friend that xe does doesnt even like xem. but its okay xe's sure xe's just misjudging him!!!! (xe's too afraid to confirm or deny this.)

but i think all that love gets stifled by xyr environment. xe's miserable, feeling restrained by the stories xe's had drilled into xyr head from birth; even though xe still believes them, xe's been coming dangerously close to seeing the holes poked into xyr little worldview. xe fights every day to hold onto those little things that make them happy, because some days it feels like thats all xe has. and okay i was memeing earlier when i said people who tell you mark isnt nonbinary are lying but unironically i think mark takes solance in xyr identity because its the one thing no one can take away from xem to matter how hard they try. xe's continuously told that xe has to succeed and be fine for the sake of everyone else around xem and it exhausts xem because xe is traumatized. its so awful and xe's so tired of it all. thank god this this the last year of high school, because maybe now xe can finally hope to be free.

but. yk. thats not really how the story goes. is it.

it is a sin to kill a mockingbird.

UHHHHH SHIT NOW I GOTTA TALK ABOUT SIX NOW OOPS!!!! like i said earlier i dont. think. about the alternates very much. they just arent interesting to me in the same way the human characters are. theyre interesting in their own way of course!! but personally i prefer the more complex and nuanced conflicts present between the human characters.

HOWEVER!!!!! six really stands out from all the other alternate characters because . a. the implication that he ISNT an alternate makes me crazy insane and i really hope that gets elaborated on in vol 5 and b!!!! he's responsible for so much in the plot and a lot of the conflicts that i really love in the human characters. he's responsible for mark's paranoia, adam being. like that. lynn dying which brings thatcher and ruth over to the murray house and resulting in ruths death. SO GODDAMN MUCH. he influences nearly EVERY major aspect of the plot but in a much more direct way than gabriel does, and that makes him much more interesting to me. i really like how so much of it can be traced back to him and he DOES SOMETHING WITH THIS. he comes in to talk to adam and is like hey girl. im gonna drop the most devastating information of your entire life without any kind of warning whatsoever. oh yeah and you also only met me like two days ago in a basement after you lost the only person that ever cared about you. get fucked ! and thats so funny to me . i love him hes a piece of shit

unfortunately like i said i just dont think of him in a blorbo way like i do with the human characters.... (and adam) i just dont think hes all that 3 dimensional. i think the POINT of him is to be creepy and uncomfortable and threatening and making it so that he like. cares. about mark or adam or wtv kinda kills the vibe?? i really like when people do it in aus and such but trying to apply it to canon. cant say im a fan sorry. IT CAN DEFINITELY BE INTERESTING THOUGH just not for a horror series that horror in it. yk what im saying

uhhh idk how to end this post. i could talk about how mark and six relate to each other but im tired LOL i think six should bring mark back wrong that would be fun. bless