#and if you're asking me who should play john i think the answer is obvious - misha

[mattzerella-sticks]

Everyone stay with me because I have a vision for a reboot of Supernatural...

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

SEASON 2 CONTENT AHEAD!!!

Blackbeard rules the sea. Despite wanting his captain back, Izzy realises his mistake. Protecting the crew is his concern. Protecting you is his life mission. Stede's return brings hope, but there's a lot of work to be done before this crew becomes a family.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Spoilers. Izzy's depression spiral. No real unicorns were harmed in the making of Izzy's new leg. Things get a little steamy at the end.

Chapter Thirteen - Loving touch

♡♡♡

Stede had gathered the crew, minus Izzy, to talk to them all. Turns out Ed woke up. You swore under your breath when you heard that. No way is that man going to be happy with any of you.

"What happened to your face?" Pete asked Stede who was standing to a bruise on his cheek.

"Bet Blackbeard did that, didn't he?" Wee John asks.

"It was an accident. Okay? I think Ed just sat up too quickly," Stede says.

"That's what they all say," Roach states.

"As you know, he's gone through quite the ordeal and he does need to regain his strength," Stede explains.

"Yeah. He'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested," Jim says, looking Stede in the eye.

"Yeah, I'd say it's a pretty obvious mistake letting him get strong again," Lucius points out. You nod.

"Kick him off the ship already!" Jim yells.

"We just don't banish people, do we?" Stede says. "That's not us. Let's give him some time, perhaps to rebound a bit."

"Medically speaking, the man can't speak, and his brain is maybe couscous." Roach points out. "Also, gonna need that steak back. It's dinner."

"Right. Yes, aye."

"Maybe we should put it to the vote," Fang suggests.

"Do we have to do this now?" Stede asks.

The crew start yelling.

♡♡♡

Stede got his answers from the crew, that much was clear enough. As you head out, Stede catches up to you.

"You were awfully quiet in there."

"Don't get me wrong. I agree with them, Ed has to go."

Stede's expression falls.

"I know you like him, but that man... he did things. He hurt people like I've never seen before. He hurt Izzy..."

"Ah yes, Izzy. How is he?" Stede asks.

"He's been better."

"Where is he anyway? I didn't see him in there."

"Drinking probably. He, uh, he's stopped talking to me at the moment. He won't talk to anyone."

Stede frowns again. "He's stopped talking to you?"

"I think it's the constant drinking... It's making him... upset. Like, more than before."

"I see..."

You shrug lightly and sigh. "Look, I'm not looking for sympathy. You're the captain, sort this out."

You walk off. Stede watches you go, his heart feeling heavy. Maybe he could have a word with Izzy for you.

♡♡♡

You sit on deck with the wooden sparrow in your hands. After everything that happened it had survived. Izzy had kept it in his cabin. You had found it when you had gone in there to find him. Izzy was nowhere to be seen, but the sparrow was sitting on his desk. There was a slight chip in the wood, right on the wing, but for the most part it looked good.

You sigh as you run your finger carefully over it's little head. Did Izzy even notice it was gone? Probably not.

"The atmosphere around here sucks," Lucius sighs, sitting down next to you. You notice the cigarette between his fingers, but you don't ask. "What's that?" He nods toward the wooden bird.

"Marietta."

"Marietta?" He looks at you with a funny expression.

"That's what I called it. It was a gift for Izzy from me. I dropped the first one in the sea while I was angry at him... so I remade her." You hold the sparrow up. "She's a little beaten, but still in nest condition."

"You carved him a bird?"

"Look, I can't draw like you can. I can't make sew like Frenchie, or knit like Wee John. I can, however, whittle."

Lucius smiles a little. "I like it."

A moment of silence passes while you play with the bird in your hands a little more.

"So, you and Izzy?"

"So, you and Pete?" You reply, sarcastically.

"We're fine," he says defensively. "What's going on with your boyfriend?"

You raise your eyes to Lucius. "Blackbeard abused him. Punished him. Took his leg. He's a little upset at the moment. Rightfully so."

Lucius stands up a little defensively. "We've all been through shit," he says.

You narrow your eyes at him. "I'm not saying you haven't. We thought you were dead!"

"Well, I wasn't." He puts out his cigarette. "I've suffered too and it's all his fault!" He points to where Blackbeard is tied up on the deck.

"He's fucked everyone over, Lucius. Just need Stede to get his ass in gear and do something about it."

Lucius sighs. "Do you think anything will ever go back to how it was?"

"No," you admit honestly. "But I do believe things can get better. In time."

Lucius says nothing. He glares at Blackbeard and then leaves. You sigh and return to holding the bird, caressing it again gently.

"Oh, Izzy..."

♡♡♡

Stede found Izzy at the front of the ship. He was leaning on some of the rope rigging, his wooden leg propped up on the railing. In his other hand was a bottle of rum, of which he was drinking merrily.

He looked a mess.

Stede offered him a smile as he joined him, ignoring the look Izzy was throwing his way. He means over and notices the unicorn is missing it's head.

"He's seen better days, hasn't he?" Stede asks in a lighthearted manner.

"At least he's still got both legs!" Izzy yells.

"Yes!" Stede joins in. "He can't hear you, he's go no head. You've got a head, though, which you should look after."

Izzy down his rum. Stede sighs.

"What do you want, Bonnet?" Izzy asks, not really in the mood for conversation.

"Well, here's the thing. The crew, they're in a bit of a deadlock over the whole banishment of Ed thing and I just thought, seeing as, well, you were the one who kept his body aboard, maybe you should weigh in. You've already murdered him once. Seems like a pretty good payback." He chuckles softly. "So, what do you think?"

"My vote?" Izzy leans in a little closer to Stede. "A rotten let's got to come off."

"Right. Just to confirm, was that a nay or yay on the banishment?"

Izzy just drinks some more.

"Right... I suppose I just mention that our Spirit of the sea is worried about you. You've stopped talking to them apparently..."

Izzy says nothing.

"Don't push them out, Izzy."

Izzy just drinks from his bottle again. Stede sighs and takes his leave.

♡♡♡

"So! We, the crew of The Revenge, have voted and we've chosen banishment, unfortunately." Frenchie states, announcing the result. "So, yeah. Effective immediately. Your complimentary dinghy awaits you portside. Now leave, please."

"Fuck off," Ed hisses, walking past him. You watch him closely.

"Alright, rude."

"Fuck you," Ed laughs softly, walking past Olu.

"First time I've been on this side of a walk of shame," Wee John comments.

"Way to make this awkward, bruh," Archie says.

"Shitty sailing with you." Jim chimes in.

"You're making it really hard to look up to you, man," Pete sighs.

"Hey, made you this sandwich for the trip," Roach says, holding it out to him. Ed slaps it out of his hand and Stede catches it

"You don't want your sammie?" Stede looks sad.

Ed slaps it out of Stede's hand and it hits Lucius in the face. You have to cover your mouth to stop from laughing. Lucius bites back his laughter too. It really isn't a funny moment, throwing someone off the ship, but at least you can find something to laugh about, you supposed.

"Ed, say something at least."

Ed turns his head and looks at Stede.

"You're not a fuckin' mermaid."

You knit your brows together in confusion by that statement. Stede looked equally confused.

"What?"

Ed climbs off the ship and into the dinghy. Stede looks down and watches him, you and Lucius part with the rest if the crew, not hanging about to watch any longer.

Ed was gone. That was that.

♡♡♡

"Is it me or does the energy around here seem off?" Wee John asked.

"By 'the energy,' do we mean him?" Roach nods over to Lucius who was smiling and freaking out a little. "Or him?" He gestures over to where Izzy is still standing at the front of the ship yelling at the unicorn.

"Well, mythical creature?" Izzy yells. You sigh as you watch him from where you stand. He still wasn't talking to you much. "Anything to say to yourself? Fuck you!"

"Or them?" Roach asks, looking at Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang scrubbing the deck of any "possible" bloodstains left over from where Edward had bled out.

"Do you still see blood?"

"Yeah. We'll get it. Just keep scrubbing."

"They're lookin' this way." Fang says.

You tune out the rest of their conversation to watch your stupid drunk pirate curse at the unicorn some more. If only you could talk to him. He would surely listen to you.

It was breaking your heart to see him fall apart like this. Izzy hadn't held you since you got back onto The Revenge. He was shutting you out, suffering on his own.

You hated it.

You try not to let the tears fall as you walk away, letting Izzy do whatever the fuck he wanted.

♡♡♡

Olu had invited you to join the crew for a surprise. Jim had speculated they were planning to kill you all off for being disturbed after sailing with Blackbeard. You thought it was a bit of a stretch, but you wouldn't put it last them either.

You were all guided below deck where the surprise was.

"You gotta close your 'cause it's a surprise." Olu says.

No one does that, everyone sceptical. Frenchie leads you all behind Olu. You find Pete and Wee John waiting.

"Ta da!"

Wee John moves to reveal the surprise.

The crew all jump and startle, hiding the knives they were all carrying behind their backs incase of an attack.

"Fuck!" Lucius sighs, jumpy enough already.

"Guys, it's called a pine-ata." Pete says.

"Yeah. So, you just pull this string and then--" Olu tries to explain.

"And then you hit it with a stick!" Pete demonstrates.

Everyone is triggered. PTSD from the storm, from Blackbeard.

"Time for blindfolding." Wee John tries.

"Stay the fuck sway from me!" Jim yells.

"You won't want to stay the fuck away from this came!" Roach says, brining the cake in.

You feel your stomach churn at the sight of it. It looks like the wedding cake...

"God's sake, take it away!" Fang screams.

You all draw your weapons. Yeah, even you. This is too much, too soon. This how it ends up at a stand off.

"One-half of this room has some serious emotional damage," Jim explains, holding Wee John in a choke hold. "And it's not us."

"Well, it's not us!" Wee John says back.

You have your knife pointing at Olu.

"Right, so, is everybody else's arms and various limbs getting tired?" Frenchie asks.

"Alright, look, look, look, look. I think there's actually an easier way to resolve this." Olu days, eyeing your knife. "Yes? Right. So you all think that we're plottin' against you?"

"Yeah," you nod.

"Which, in hindsight, maybe was inaccurate." Frenchie says. "I don't know, you tell me."

"Okay. So, can we all agree to just not jump the other crew and solve this as fuckin' adults?" Olu asks.

"You're saying this is like a space that is safe?" Jim asks him.

"Yeah, babe." Olu looks at them.

"I love that."

"A safe space."

"Yeah, okay."

You all lower your knives. You take a deep breath. Nearly lost your cool there.

"A lot has gone unsaid," Roach speaks. "I think now is a great time to discuss lingering issues."

"Yeah, yeah, absolutely." Archie nods. "Can we talk about the fucked-up sleeping arrangements?"

"Excuse me, do you even have a name, new guy?" Wee John asks her.

"Yeah, fuck you is her name." Jim starts, drawing their knife again.

"Hey, stupid name for a person," Roach draw his knife on Jim.

"You know my name is Archie," she point her weapon at Roach.

Everyone draws their weapons again. You sigh and point your knife at Olu again, but he doesn't sense any actual malice from you.

The sound of something thudding against the floor draws everyone's attention to the door. You turn and your heart skips a beat at the sight of Izzy. Two wooden legs at his feet.

"There! It's done!" He yells. "Maybe next time he'll think twice about not doing his fucking--" Izzy's peg leg breaks from under him as he raises his crutch and he falls harshly to the ground.

You gasp and drop your knife, hurrying over to him. He shrugs you off.

"Get off me! Fuck off!"

You sit there on your knees as he rolls over and starts crawling down the hall. Your heart breaks watching him.

"Leave me alone! I'm already gone." He mutters. He starts repeating a phrase over and over again. "You're born alone, you die alone. You're born alone, you die alone."

You can feel tears building up again. God, only Izzy could ever make you cry so much.

"Yeah, he's definitely more disturbed than any of us," Lucius says, watching Izzy go.

You try to hide your teary eyes as you get up and leave.

♡♡♡

You're sat up on deck with yours curled up wiping away the tears that were falling. If only you could get that stupid man to talk to you. You just wound to heal his internal wounds, and soothe his external wounds.

You don't hear the door open, but you do hear footsteps coming over. You turn your face away, but you know it's Fang who is now sitting beside you. He has one of the unicorn legs in his hand.

"You okay?" He asks softly. Fang was a soothing presence.

"Spectacular," you mutter.

He look down at the wooden leg and then back at you.

"We, uh, we had an idea for Izzy."

You wipe your eyes again. "Yeah?"

"We're gonna make him a new leg. You wanna help? It would sure mean a lot if you gave it to him after." Fang smiles.

"You want me to help?"

"I think Izzy would like that, don't you?"

You shrug quietly. "I don't know. He's not exactly talking to me right now."

"Aw, listen. He still loves you. He's just hurting, but maybe we can help. Let's do something good for him."

Fang offers you a small smile.

You find yourself smiling back. You reach over and take the leg from him. "Okay. Let me see what we can do."

Less than 30 minutes later the leg is being constructed, the crew are gathered to help. Fang constructs the leg into a strong, comfortable, and practical leg. Lucius had got some gold paint to add something that little bit extra.

You smile as you paint the leg.

"The gold was a gold touch."

Lucius smiles, happy he could help.

You leave the leg to dry and then Fang returns to your side with it. You sigh as you take it, looking it over.

"We sure it will do?" You ask.

"Its been measured and made just for Izzy. It will more than do. Oh don't forget the note." Fang holds out the parchment.

You take the leg and take the note.

"Right..."

"Just leave it outside his door if he doesn't want to talk. I can assure you he'll talk to you again soon."

You nod and make your way to Izzy's cabin.

♡♡♡

As you approach Izzy's door, you don't hear much. It's almost too quiet for your liking. You hover outside the door, the leg in hand. That's when you hear his voice. He's talking to someone.

"And you? What's your excuse?" You hear him say. You lean a little closer to listen, worried about him. "I mean, what even are you?"

You knock on the door hoping he'll answer.

"Fuck off." You hear him shout. You knock again firmly. "Fuck off!" He yells again.

You sigh. Telling him it was you probably wouldn't make a difference. You prop the leg up but the door, tucking the note and Marietta, Izzy's carved sparrow that you still had, into it.

You knock again and hurry away, disappearing down the hall.

"You are harassing a cripple! Fucking twats!" Izzy yells, no longer realising the person has gone from behind his door. He limps his way over and opens it, looking down the hall.

He sees no one.

His gaze drops down to the item waiting for him. He sees the note and the bird. He reads the note first, all emotion clogging up in his throat.

Those little shits.

He cries. Izzy covers his mouth as tears overwhelm him. He looks up down the hall, trying not to break down.

"Fucking cocksuckers."

He sees the sparrow and picks it up. It's then he realises you had been the one knocking. His finger close around the bird and the tears fall freely.

Shit. He's been really shit to you.

Izzy hold the sparrow against his chest and takes a few deep breaths. He grabs the leg and hobbles back inside his room.

♡♡♡

It's the early hours of the morning.

Izzy stands on deck with his new leg on. It's a good fit. Made really well. His hair is slicked back against his scalp, out of his face. His face is a little cleaner. No rum in sight.

In one hand he's clutching the ring he wears under his clothes, hanging from a string of twine. He smiles as he looks down at it.

In his other hand is the note. His eyes drift over to the words written on it. His heart feels full.

'For the new unicorn.'

Izzy smiles.

With the dawn of a new day comes a new Izzy. A healing Izzy.

He's going to be okay.

No. He'll be more than okay.

He just needs to talk to you first.

♡♡♡

The sun hasn't even risen yet when Izzy wakes you. You've been sleeping with the rest of the crew since Izzy stopped talking to you, so he had to be quiet when waking you. You're startled awake by something hitting your face again and again.

You wake up to find little balls of paper being thrown at you. You look up to see Izzy waving you over. You look at him confused. He wasn't talking to you befkre, and now he wants to?

That's when you notice the leg and your heart begins to race.

You climb out of bed and make your way out of the room, not waking a single person. You follow Izzy into his cabin and enter cautiously. He looks tidier, cleaner, more content.

"Izzy?"

He stands there and looks at you. There are several emotions flickering in his eyes, but he finds his words in no time.

"Thank you."

You stand there awkwardly. "I didn't do anything."

Izzy inhales loud enough for you to hear as he looks down at his leg, his hand resting over his thigh. "You did this."

"It was the crew's idea."

Izzy holds up the sparrow. "I noticed it was gone, but there was only one place it could be."

You nod your head softly.

Izzy puts the sparrow down and walks over to you, closing the distance between you both. You find your heart rate picking up as you look into those beautiful eyes of him.

"I love you," he whispers.

Just like that he's reaching out and kissing you. You're in his arms again. You return his kiss, having missed his lips. Having missed him. You reach out and take hold of him.

The kiss is hot, passionate, desperate. It's significance lies with the fact that you two spend all your time wanting each other, but when you're hurting, you don't reach out for one another.

You remove his scarf, taking the ring around it and carefully placing it down. It belonged to his mother and you know he would definitely curse you if you lost it. You begin to undress him, and he, you.

Clothes land on the floor. The soft thud of his wooden foot taps lightly on the floor as he moves you over to his bed.

Doing this right after the emotional rollercoaster you both has been through probably wasn't the best idea, but this time no one could stop you both, and this was long overdue.

You push Izzy down on the bed and take care of him, admiring him. You notice the other ring around his neck. You had seen it before, but it's origins you hadn't known. He was wearing it last time you did this too.

Still, your mind was focused on other things.

Safe to say, both of you are going to be a little late getting up tomorrow.

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer - @bugbugboy - @callmemana - @the-shenny-of-azkaban - @cool-ontherun-world - @outer-space-beech - @ahewi24 - @grace585 - @innertimemachinegirl - @dmitrytherat - @emilynissangtr -

[i-am-the-oyster]

Hi I’m sure you’ve got this question before but does the oyster symbolize ? Is it a Beatles reference or something? Any time I see your blog i alway sing it in the tune of I am the walrus lol and just never thought to ask what it meant

I love answering this question! You're right anon, it is supposed to be a reference to I Am The Walrus.

What do the Walrus and Carpenter eat? Oysters. And the Beatles have consumed me.

When I named my blog I was thinking a lot about John and Paul's obsession with Alice in Wonderland.

John has mentioned his love of the book(s) many times. (He tends to say "Alice in Wonderland" even though a lot of the things he's referencing are from Through the Looking Glass, which makes me wonder if he had both books in a single binding.)

But Paul seems to also be a fan. He had/has statues in his garden based on the original illustrations (a gift from Mike).

And I'd argue the "will you, won't you" part of Helter Skelter could be a reference to the Lobster Quadrille.

Anyway ...

The most obvious Beatles-Alice connection is the Walrus. Sometimes John is the Walrus, sometimes Paul is (and he and John are as close as can be). John claimed he should have said he was the carpenter.

But I did look back at the Walrus and I said 'I Am The Walrus' but the Carpenter is the good guy in that story, apparently. Right? I thought oh shit, I picked the bad guy

But here's the thing about the Carpenter: he's also the bad guy. The full poem is here.

Alice discusses the poem with Tweedledum and Tweedledee (who have recited it for her):

"I like the Walrus best," said Alice: "because you see he was a little sorry for the poor oysters." "He ate more than the Carpenter, though," said Tweedledee. "You see he held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count how many he took: contrariwise." "That was mean!" Alice said indignantly. "Then I like the Carpenter best——if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus." "But he ate as many as he could get," said Tweedledum.

I think maybe John and Paul discussed this poem and appreciated it as a metaphor for fame. They saw themselves as 'superior human beings', but they were both sensitive enough that I don't think they were guilt-free about the effect they had on people. The switch to Paul being the Walrus may even be a reference to John's fear that Paul was taking over the band, and would be more successful at attracting fans (eating oysters).

I hope you enjoyed that nonny, thanks for the ask!

bonus: Ringo playing the Mock Turtle in 1985

[blueicequeen19]

The First Time

*Stolen from my Wattpad. Been deleted once already so thought I'd share here as well. Storyline follows JJ & Morgan Cole, a Kook Princess.

TW: smut, cheating, partying, weed, etc.

JJ's POV

It's the start of summer and what better way to kick it off than with a summer bash on the beach, welcoming all the Kook's and hotties back from college. People usually don't start leaving until the kegs are empty, the weed is smoked, or a fight breaks out. The cops rarely get called because if Kook's are involved than they mysteriously stay away. Although wherever there's Kook's and Pogues in the same setting, there's always trouble.

The definition of trouble is actually across the beach sipping a beer and dancing while her Kook boyfriend, Archer, watches her with a scowl next to Rafe and Kelc. I mean what guy isn't watching her hips sway or the way her blonde hair casts shadows over her face as she pretends not to notice everyone watching.

She dances and giggles with a group of Kook girls in a crop top and tight jean shorts that hug her ass just right. Her brown eyes light up like embers every time the light from the fire hits them and I'm mesmerized. She's all tan skin and attitude and I'm a fucking creep because I can't tear my eyes away.

Morgan Cole is the most beautiful girl on the fucking island. Delicious forbidden fruit and on display in front of everyone. She has that hint of innocence in her eyes that makes you want to look just beneath the surface. It's intoxicating. She reminds me of Sarah with her recklessness only worse. Morgan plays with fire because she wants to get burned.

Her boyfriend finally has enough and pulls her over even as she protests. I don't realize how tight I'm gripping my cup until Kie nudges me and the liquid sloshes over my fingers.

"You good?" She asks, a joint on her lips. I snatch it from her and take a long drag and she scoffs at me until I hand it back.

"Thanks, Kie." I turn my attention back to the dangerous blonde who is looking straight at me with her boyfriends arm draped over her shoulder. I look away in case it's not me she's looking at but when I glance back she's still looking at me. She brings her cup back to her lips to hide the smirk. I narrow my eyes at her and she raises her dark brows in question. Why is Morgan Cole looking at me?

She empties her cup and throws Archer's arm off her then walks over to the keg I've been manning. I'm suddenly speechless for once in my damn life.

"Hi." I say, like a loser.

"Hi." She says back. It takes me a moment to realize she's waiting on her beer.

"There's a party tomorrow at the Chateau." I blurt out and she smiles.

"Will you be staring at me all night again?" She asks, biting her bottom lip. I don't even think before I answer.

"Do you want me to?" It comes off a lot smoother than I thought it would and she eyes me up and down. Those fucking eyes.

"I'll see you there, JJ." Morgan snatches her beer from my hand and spins around to go back to her boyfriend. I drag my eyes away from her ass long enough to meet her boyfriends glare. This should be fun.

I wonder over to John B and throw my arm around him. He smiles with the hint of beer on his breath.

"What's up, man?" He asks.

"You're having a party tomorrow at the Chateau. Tell everyone." I pat him on the chest and he seems to contemplate that for a minute before nodding in agreement. This should definitely be fun.

The Next Night

The entire night is spent having staring contests. It's almost childish. I can't look at anything but her and thankfully she came without the boyfriend. So, she probably didn't tell him she was coming. She's in the hot tub in a tiny blue bikini that doesn't leave much to the imagination. Not that I care. She could pull off anything.

"Are you JJ?" I blink and look up to a beautiful red head, Touron. It's only obvious because I've never seen her before.

"I am." I smile. I feel Morgan's eyes on me from the hot tub.

"Can I sit here?" The Touron asks, motioning to the spot on the log next to me.

"Absolutely." I say, sipping my beer.

"Can I have a drink?" She asks. I turn to grab her a beer from the cooler, but she takes mine from my hand and downs it. I chuckle.

"I don't mind sharing." I find myself flirting, aching for a reaction from Morgan.

The rest of the party goes by in a blur. The Touron and I flirt back and forth but I never attempt to kiss her even though I can tell she's dying for it. She leaves disappointed and I can't help but feel a little bad. Normally I wouldn't mind to fuck em and leave em but I can't tear my mind away from Morgan.

John B and Sarah tuck in for the night and Kie and Pope leave a little while later. It's just Morgan and I now. I finish the last beer and begin clean up. I hear Morgan get out of the hot tub and see her shivering from the chilly air.

"I'll get you a towel." I duck onto the porch and she follows me. I turn and wrap the towel around her shoulders and step back as she smiles at me.

"Thank you." She says.

"You not ready to leave?" I ask, sitting on the bench on the enclosed porch. She shakes her head and sits next to me.

"I hate going home." She sighs, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping the towel around them like a blanket. I get her one of Kie's throws and drape it over her shoulders and she smiles gently.

"Why don't you want to go home?" I ask, taking out a joint and lighting it. I take a drag and she reaches her hand out for it. I share it with her, waiting on her to continue.

"My parents are awful. They're forcing me onto Archer like an arranged marriage. They want to tie the two families together. Something to do with politics and I'm sick of it. Archer is so annoying."

She rattles off. I listen to her and my gut churns in hatred for the rich prick. How could he not see what's in front of him?

"He can't even get me off." I blink back to reality and choke on the drag I just took until my eyes water. "What? Is that a common occurrence for males?" She smirks at me.

"Um, I've never had any complaints." I say, passing her the joint.

"They wouldn't tell you if they did. Most girls fake it."

"Unless they actually get off and then they can't. You've been with some real losers." She passes it back and gives me a playful smack on the shoulder.

"What do you mean 'they cant'?"

"I've been known to make a mess." I shrug and I look up to see her ember eyes burning and cheeks flushed as she watches me. The poor girl hasn't been touched properly in her life.

"You'd say anything to impress me." She narrows her eyes at me and I smirk, leaning back against the bench, her toes dig under my leg for warmth. I want nothing more than to run my fingers up her leg and caress her skin.

"I don't have to impress you." I tease.

"Why not?" She leans forward and props her chin up on her knee.

"Because you're still here so I'm obviously I'm doing something right."

"You're awfully full of yourself, JJ. But can you back it up?"

"You couldn't handle it."

"You don't know what I could handle."

"One way to find out." I pull her legs across my lap and she gasps. I lean in but don't let our lips meet. She smells so sweet and I can't get enough but I still make myself wait.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" She breathes, licking her bottom lip.

"Do you want me to?" I whisper, tucking her hair behind her ear. She leans in and kisses me hard. I grip the back of her neck and pull her onto my lap so she's straddling me. She kisses me hard and hungrily, gripping my hair. I dip my tongue into her mouth and she moans. Our bodies are molded perfectly against each other to the point I can feel her hard nipples against my chest as our tongues and teeth clash. All too soon she pulls away.

"Oh, J." She breathes, pulling away and resting her forehead against mine as she tries to catch her breath. My heart is beating in my ears as our chests rise and fall. I never want her to stop saying my name.

"That was-." I start.

"Amazing." She finishes for me. She sweeps my hair off my forehead, and I lean into her hand with a hum. Even her hands on me felt good.

"J, I want you." She whispers, running her thumb over my bottom lip. I feel my restraint slipping.

"I don't want you to regret anything." I say and she kisses my chin softly.

"Never." She moves her lips to mine and I groan as I run my hands up her bare back as she gets goosebumps.

"If we do this, I won't be able to stop." I mumbled against her lips.

"Then don't." Morgan says back, sealing our fate with a kiss. I moan into her mouth as she presses her chest against me, her nipples hard against my chest. I lift her up and walks us inside to the spare bedroom without breaking the kiss. I kick the door shut and drop her on the bed.

Morgan giggles as I pull my shirt over my head and begin trailing kisses all over her body. She bucks her hips at me, begging to be touched.

"J, please. I need you." She whines.

"I'm not one of those boys you've been with in the past. You're gonna cum at least three times before I get mine." She bites her lip as she looks up at me and nods. I untie her bikini bottoms and they fall off, leaving her pussy bare for me. I can see the wetness already. She props herself up on her elbows to watch me as I caress her clit with my thumb. I apply more pressure and she whimpers.

"You're being a tease." She snaps, wiggling her hips at me.

"I'm just getting started." I dip my head between her legs and suck on her clit. She cries out and grips my hair as I devour her, savoring every bit. Her legs start to shake and I slide my pointer finger inside her.

"Oh, fuck!" She cries and she arches her back as I feel her clamping down on me.

"Cum for me, baby." I suck harder and pump faster and she's screaming, cumming all over my mouth and hand.

"That's one." I say, as I finger fuck her through it until she's crying out and squirming, another orgasm quickly approaching. Her thighs squeeze my head and I add another finger and she cums again.

"That's two." I smirk as I twirl my tongue over her sensitive clit. Her legs shaking and she's pushing on my head.

"JJ, please." She pants, gripping my hair and pulling me up her body. I kiss her hard and dip my tongue in her mouth so she can taste herself.

"Still think I'm full of myself?" I growl, kissing on her neck.

"I think you can do better." She challenges, pulling my face from her neck.

"You're so beautiful." I mumble as I kiss her deeply.

"JJ, I don't want sweet and gentle. I want to be fucked." She says, just when this couldn't get any better. I smile and yank her to the edge of the bed and rolling her over onto her knees. I spit and rub it on my dick as I begin to tease her entrance. I hold her hips in place as she tries to impale herself on me.

"You want to be fucked, baby? I'll fuck you." I push in before her smart mouth can say anything else and she moans loudly, gripping the bed sheets. She feels like heaven but I can already tell I'm not going to last as long as I'd like and I didn't put a rubber on.

"You're so big." She moans as I ease in and out with slow and steady thrusts. I grit my teeth when I feel her already clenching around me and I smack her ass. She gasps and I rub out the sting with my palm.

"You can take it." I growl. Her hand flies behind her and her nails scrape my stomach as I push in harder. I grab both her hands and pin them against her back with one of mine and use the leverage to slam in harder and deeper.

"God, that's so fucking hot." I groan as I look where we are connected, my cock coated in her arousal. I've never seen or felt anything better in my life.

"Fuck!" She cries out into the mattress and I release her arms to pull back on her hair.

"I want to hear you." I growl, she whimpers as I hammer into her harder.

"They'll hear us!" She cries.

"I don't care." I grunt back and I slow down as that familiar feeling floods my stomach and almost has me on my toes.

"Don't stop!" Morgan cries out, pushing herself back against me and I catch her hips, trying to fight off my release.

"I don't have a condom on." I snap, thrusting hard once and stopping again. She peers over her shoulder at me as she pants.

"Don't cum yet." She orders and I nod, picking up a slow steady pace and we both groan.

"Stop tightening around me. My dick is in a vice." I growl, digging my fingers into her hips and she whines.

"Harder. Please!" She begs, her face buried in the mattress. I grip her hair and pull her against me, her back against my front.

"Like this?" I growl in her ear, reaching around and rubbing my thumb on her clit. She cries out and throws her head back against my shoulder.

"Just like that. Fuck yes!" She cries while I kiss and bite her neck as I fuck her through her orgasm and when she reaches down to squeeze my balls, I cum with a yell. Her tight channel milking me for all I'm worth. We both collapse on the bed panting and her body still has the shakes and spasms.

"I can't believe I've been missing that." She breathes, I'm entranced as I watch her tits raise and fall with each breath. She catches me staring and smiles as she throws an arm and leg across me.

"Wanna go again?" She asks and I laugh, throwing my head back against the pillow. What have I started?

Hours later, she showers and dresses to leave. I'm exhausted as I drag myself and my sore dick from my bed. Before I can say anything she kisses me hard and I wrap my arms around her. She melts into me, running her hands up my chest and into my hair. She finally pulls away panting but refuses to meet my eyes.

"Um, thank you for this but it has to stay between us." She says, her voice shaky. I tilt her chin up and brush the hair from her face.

"Understood."

"It can't get back to Archer. I'm sorry I've put you in this situation. This probably shouldn't happen again. I'm sorry." She says, trying to pull away but I kiss her again to silence her.

"I got it." I state, our lips barely an inch apart. I go to kiss her again but she puts her hand over my mouth.

"I won't leave if you don't stop. So please, don't. Thank you again for this." She ducks from the room before I can stop her and I hear the screen door slam shut a moment later.

I sigh and drag my hands through my hair when a toilet flushing draws my attention. I hear footsteps and John B pops his head in the doorway with a smug, knowing look.

"Dude, you are so screwed."

Don't I fucking know it.

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[johnsamericano]

『 ‎ ‎لąҽհվմղ / ᎠҽӀմʂìօղ 』

warnings: mental illness implied, hallucinations, meds, aggressive jaehyun, implied sexual relations.

taglist: @nakamotocore @jisooapproved @la-ra-rumi @winwiniee @yijiujiujiu @nctlovesme

loveholic masterlist.

Lies.

That's what Jaehyun hated the most in the world, lies.

He hated the way you'd smile at him during class, only to pretend he wasn't even there as soon as you exited the room. It wasn't fair. He wanted to confront you, wanted to ask for an explanation for your uninterested attitude, but anytime he'd try, words got stuck in his throat, choking him uncomfortably.

Jaehyun wasn't sure when his interest in you began growing. He was never one to have secret crushes, so then, why you? What made you special enough for him to like you?

The answer came one lucky day when the professor paired you up together for a project. While people usually whined when being put in the same team with someone other than their friends, you seemed all but annoyed, smiling with your white, pearly teeth and waving at him as if he were your very best friend.

“Guess you’re stuck with me.” It was his first time speaking to you, beads of sweat collecting on his upper lip. “Jaehyun, right?”

He hated small talk almost as much as lies. Almost. But when it came to you, he could do it all day long if it meant listening to your delightful voice. All of his pent-up frustrations scattered as you started planning your schedule to work on the project. He’d only hum in approval, still too shy to speak to you.

“So tomorrow's okay with you?” Your head was tilted to the side, the tender skin of your neck looking awfully tempting. He pictured himself kissing it, having you struggle under his weight while he kissed it for hours on end. “Jae?” He was pulled out of the scenario his mind was working through by a gentle hand on his wrist.

There were no mirrors nearby, but the tips of his ears were surely tinted red by now. But most importantly, his pants were becoming uncomfortably tight in his crotch area. A touch from you was all his body needed to go insane.

“Sure.” You smiled, removing your hand from its previous spot. His skin itched for more contact, but he was too shy to initiate anything. “I need to go to the restroom.”

He rushed out of the classroom with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, pushing the fabric forward to conceal his growing boner. He relieved himself inside the small cubicle, his own heavy breathing muffled under the sound of a couple doing less than appropriate things inside the following stall. Would that be you and him one day? Probably, but not quite yet.

Your kindness had no limits. That's what Jaehyun thought when you sat down to have lunch with him, the guy who no one ever liked enough to hang out with.

“Why?” He asked on the second occasion you sit with him.

“Because I like you.”

You started hanging out more often not long after that. Even after you handed in your work, you were keen on staying by his side, and he had nothing to complain about. It was as if the universe was finally smiling at him, all the times you'd ignored him after class now long forgotten. He was happier, brighter than usual. He told his roommate, the closest friend he had, about you. He was happy for Jaehyun, of course, but a feeling in his gut told him something was off.

The night before your spring break started, you invited him to a frat party. He’d never been to one, he didn't like them. But you were so insisting that he had no other choice but to oblige. The entire house smelled like sweat, alcohol, and drugs, disgusting, he thought. However, it was all worth it when he finally got to see you, tucked inside a tight dress that showed the figure you'd so thoroughly hide in baggy shirts. He approached you, wanting to greet you, but one of your friends dragged you away. He didn't mind it, the night was still young and he'd have plenty of time to be with you.

Not even five minutes later, you reappeared by his side, giving him one of your signature eye smiles.

“Having fun, pretty boy?” A light blush crept up his face, settling at the tip of his ears. “Let’s dance.”

His hands were firmly gripping your hips as you rubbed your body on his, causing a more than an obvious problem in his pants. Before his brain could register the current events happening, your lips were on his. It all felt too sudden, yet, he enjoyed the way you'd nip at his lower lip. It sent him to frenzy.

“I’m so wet, Jae.” You mumbled seductively against his fleshy pillows. “Want you to make me feel good.”

You dragged him to the closest room, increasing under his adoring gaze. You were so beautiful, and all his. The promise of your union was sealed that night, as you fell asleep between his arms after three intense rounds of pure bliss.

“Jaehyun?” He felt someone shaking his shoulder, it was a male voice. His arms instinctively closed tighter around your naked body to hide it from whoever was calling him, only to realize it wasn't you who was between them, but a mere pillow. “Dude, get up.” It was his roommate Johnny, picking him up after he got a call from one of the frat members. “You got so wasted yesterday, let's go, I'll take you for food.”

Wasted? He hadn't drunk anything the previous night. Nonetheless, he left the house after dressing up. He tried calling you as they waited for their waffles to no avail.

“Jaehyun, I saw your pills today in the trash bin. Have you stopped taking them?” Johnny seemed truly concerned.

“I’m better now, John. For real.” The sincerity in his words put his roommate’s heart at ease. “I found someone, I like her a lot and it seems like she does as well.”

“Dude, that's awesome. We should hang out soon, I'll invite my girlfriend.” A double date, it felt like you and Jaehyun were finally official. But the question remained, why had you left the house early in the morning?

“Sure.”

Because you wouldn't pick up any of his calls, he had to wait until Monday to confront you. During breakfast, Johnny had crushed some of his pills and sneaked them into his eggs, you can never be too safe, he thought. And, oh boy was he right.

You were picking up your belongings from your locker, getting ready to go back home during the break.

“Hey.” He leaned against the closest wall, flashing you a dimpled smile.

“Oh, hey...Jay, right?” Was that a joke?

“Sure, whatever you want. So, my roommate wants to meet you, just let me know whenever you have time and I'll tell him. By the way...” He leaned in, lips brushing against the shell of your ears. Some curious eyes were looking at you, eager to know what was happening. “I really enjoyed that night, but it would've been better if I'd woken up with you between my arms.”

“Excuse me?” You backed away abruptly, escaping his proximity. “I think you're taking me for someone else.”

“What do you mean?”

Realization hit him like a truck. You were ignoring him yet again, but he wasn't gonna take it this time. He hated lies.

“Come with me.” He gripped your forearm, easily dragging you all the way to the janitor's closet. “You don't get to play dumb with me anymore. Stop fucking lying.” You looked like a scared little mouse about to be eaten by a cat.

“I-I’m sorry, but I'm not lying, the only time I've spoken to you was when we worked together. We haven't been in touch ever since.” Even in a situation like this, you still pretended to be kind.

“Lies.” His hands closed against your neck, slightly choking you. “I don't like them, so you better be good and tell me the truth before I do something we'll both regret.” Your eyes welled with tears as you begged for your life, his grip getting tighter with every second. “Come on, angel.”

“I’m sorry, I'm a liar!” Your air supply was running short and your only option was to say what he wanted to hear, even if it was just a lie. “Please!”

“That’s a good doll.” He let go of your bruised neck, letting you fall on your knees as you coughed. “Now, you better stop lying for your own good, are we clear?”

“Yes!” You choked out, unsure of what was happening at the moment.

“I’ll call you later, have your phone by your side.”

You had walked into a trap without even knowing it.

[imatechbummerliketomholland]

sorry seems to be the hardest word - h.o

Word count: 3171

Warning: angst, swear

Pairing : harrison osterfield

Request: no.

N/A: It took me so long to write this. I remember i asked @soft-haz to write something with the "sorry seems to be the hardest word" vibe, it was so good! But i wanted to write something by myself too. Remember, english is not my first language, so be kind if you spot mistakes, i really try my best. Italics parts are flashbacks

Thanks to @petersasteria because she correct a big part of this fic! Love you. Don't hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Love you all! xx

ღღღ

part 2 (harry hollad x reader) - part 3 (harry holland x reader)

The few rays of sunshine in London today and England's victory over the Croats had improved your mood. Tom and Harry were home as soon as the game was over, they found you sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. You hadn't wanted to join them at the bar for obvious reasons: to keep your privacy as much as possible. Living with four boys was not easy, but living with four boys, one of whom was a world-famous actor and another in the midst of the media boom, was even more so. Of course, fans knew that Tom, Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine had a female roommate. But you've always managed to never appear with your face uncovered in any media activity of your four-favorite divs.

The bottle was already nearly empty and you were already on your drunken streak, not wanting to stop when two of your drinking buddies had just entered. What a good opportunity to continue the evening.

"Will you join me, boys?"

“Mmm yeah, sure, love.” Harry said.

But a problem presented itself to you: the boys drank beer, you drank wine. You had two options now: either open a new bottle of wine for yourself or continue the evening with beer. Your eyes turned to your glass, spilling the rest of the bottle into your jug before swallowing it dry. Harry had a stunned expression on his face as Tom smirked.

"I see hanging out with us leaves its mark."

"You wish, Holland. I knew how to do it before I even knew you existed."

"You've known me since I was 19."

"And you think I waited for you to learn how to drink?"

"Fair enough."

You met the boys in a pub. You’ll never tell Nikki that, when you met them, her precious twins drank too many beers even if they weren’t old enough to drink (technically, they weren’t criminals, drinking beer at 16 is legal and come on, it’s England!)

❀❀❀

So, you met the boys in a pub. It was one of the nights when your friends and you wanted to drink until you're blackout drunk. You were in that pub/club, looking up after one of your friends. She had detected some pretty boys in the back and left you there, alone. You moved around the room without paying attention: glass in hand, your phone you stared at in the other. You suddenly felt an arm blocking your chest with force. The surprise had made you drop your glass.

“What the heck?!?”

“You will not pass, miss.”

“Oh yeah? Why? Is the pope there?” You said sarcastically

The man who stood in your way raised an eyebrow and you looked at him, waiting for a response.

“You are very funny. It’s a VIP space.”

“Once again, why is that?”

“None of your business.”

“Actually, I don't care if Sir Elton John is in that bar or if it's even the Queen of England. I'm just looking for my friend: tall, blonde, balloon-sized fucking boobs, red dress."

“Not seen."

You sighed. The situation annoyed you to the highest point. You had lost your friend and that big asshole had broken your glass. The man in front of you seemed to be marble. Short answer, arms crossed, and an imposing posture. All you wanted tonight was just to have fun. You didn't care that God-knows-who, any famous or rich enough to book a VIP space, was in that bar.

"Would the asshole that hired you tonight, at least be kind enough to buy me the glass you broke with your bullshit?"

From his side, Harry had noticed the altercation. He then walked towards you, he laughed when he heard you insult his brother through the bouncer's fault. And as the Colossus' bodyguard was about to tell you that you could always dream of getting that free drink, Harry spoke up.

“The asshole, maybe not directly. But the asshole's brother. Certainly. It will be on his check anyway.”

“For God's sake, what are you waiting for then?”

And just like that, you met the boys. Harry paid you for the glass that the other jerk broke, invited you to this precious VIP space and you could talk and dance the night away. You had exchanged your social media and over time, your phone numbers. And as fast as you couldn't imagine, you had found yourself stuck in an apartment with four adorable idiots as roommates.

❀❀❀

"Hey, y/n, where are the others?" Harry asked.

You grumbled and grabbed the beer the curly had just opened. He protested as you took a sip. Tom gave you a curious look and you frowned behind your bottle.

"y/n?”

"I don't know where T is, but Harrison's gone on a date with Gracie."

The two brothers exchanged a look heard in the face of the bitterness they had perceived in your voice. It was no longer much of a secret that you had feelings for Harrison. You had feelings for Tom's best friend for almost as long as you'd met him. Harry had noticed it first, because you were much closer to him than to Tom. The actor had understood at the start of an evening, at the beginning of the relationship between Harrison and his girlfriend.

However, you didn't hate Gracie. She was beautiful, kind, and very funny. She really brought out the best in Harrison, she made him happy and you could see that because of the distinct smile on his face. You didn't hate her; she just wasn't you and you just weren't her. And that was the whole problem. Jealousy consumed you and you hated yourself for it.

“Are you alright, darling?” Tom asked you since silence filled the room after your last sentence.

"I'll be fine after one more drink" you simply answered.

You took a sip of the beer you stole from Harry. Drowning in alcohol was certainly not the solution. But you just wanted to forget the blond a bit for tonight. Tom's worried look made you roll your eyes.

"Oh come on, Tom. Don't give me those eyes. I will be fine ..."

“Yeah, sure.” he said with a doubt.

"Can we just watch a silly movie or play a silly game to make my night better?"

Harry seemed to hear you as he shrugged and took a sip of his drink. He knew you by heart. At this point, he really considered you his best friend. So he knew you needed something to clear your mind. Something where your mind should be quick to think about.

“One,” he said nonchalantly.

"Two" you responded with a huge smile on your face.

"You are both stupid." the Holland elder complained about the game you had just started.

"You say that because you're a lousy actor who can't remember his lines. Play Holland!"

"Three". He capitulated.

And you continued like this until 21. Then, there followed a multitude of rule additions each time you reach the number 21. The 7 turned into "I'm a poor liar", the 18 into "I'd rather kiss a guinea pig" ... And every time one of you made a mistake, he drank. After an hour, the game looked like a strange conversation from the outside.

"Squirrels are scary, man." Harry said, mimicking his older brother.

"Black Widow is the best president of the United States" Tom said

"But she’s a bad lay." you responded, with a fake sigh of disappointment

"I'd rather kiss a guinea pig"

"Because you have no taste"

"Twenty"

It was at this precise moment, in the middle of the conversation, that Harrison decided to enter the living room. His blissful smile gave way to an air of amazement and disbelief at the talk between his three roommates. It was Tom who first noticed his best friend. He nodded to greet him. Harrison wore a simple black t-shirt with chinos. You took a look at your roommate and your cheeks flushed a little more than they already were.

"Hello mate! How was your date?" asked Tom with a big smile on his face

"Awesome. Can't believe it will be a year in 3 freaking days." Harrison said.

You could see his large smile, and blissful air. He was sweating happiness and although you were happy for him, it tore your heart. You purse your lips to avoid comment. Harry spoke up.

"We're playing 21. Do you want to land with us?"

"In fact, you can take my place." You got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen to drop off your beer drain. Harrison frowned as Tom exchanged a new look with his brother.

"y/n, you can stay, It's an unlimited players game." Harry almost begged.

"No, I'm tired. I'm going to take a shower and then go to bed."

“y/n” Harrison tried to call you to hold you back a little longer.

But you were already gone. You've never climbed the stairs so fast to run away from your roommate/best friend. Harrison looked at Tom and Harry, worried about your behavior. The curly one just shrugged his shoulders as his brother shook his head, silent. They weren't intending to get involved in this. You were the only master of your feelings and the time you'll decide to confess them to Harrison. That is why they preferred to be quiet.

☙♡❧

You spent the whole next week to avoid Harrison as much as possible. Established more distance with him was your solution to protect yourself from your feelings especially after his one-year anniversary date with Gracie and his absolute cute instagram post. It broke you down. Your heart was in peace but you couldn't blame him or his girlfriend. You were in love with the wrong guy, that's all.

But you couldn't hide from him forever. After all, you both lived in the same house, you had the same friends. So, it was hard to pretend he didn't exist.

Today was not your lucky day. You bumped into him in the kitchen. That was his opportunity to hold you down. He grabbed you by the shoulders, preventing you from burying yourself. Now he would finally find out what was wrong with you. Because Harrison wasn't a fool. He had noticed that you acted with him differently. Your behavior remained unchanged towards the other boys in the house.

“y/n. Don’t avoid me; please, please y/n, look at me”

You have plunged your eyes into its bewitching blue irises. Big mistake. You were drowning now in the turmoil of your feelings for the blonde. He had always had that effect on you, always. Tears started to bead at the corners of your eyes, you were biting your lip to hold back the torrent of tears that was already beginning to flow. Harrison's throat tightened at the sight of you like that and his hold on your shoulders slowly loosened.

“I hate seeing you like this. Please talk to me” he almost begged you

“Harrison…” your voice struggle as soon you pronounced his name.

“Please darling…tell me what’s goin’ on”

As a perfect angel, Tom was the one who saved you by interrupting this quick talk. You wiped away your tears with the end of your sleeve and run away to your room. Harrison sighed in despair. He didn't understand why you were running away from him like the plague.

“Dude, do you know why she's like that. What did I do? » He finally asked to Tom.

"I can't tell you Haz. She's the only one having the right to tell you about this"

"Bullshit. Fuck you all." Harrison said, frustrated.

Then he just quit, leaving the kitchen.

☙♡❧

Sunday came and Tom asked you all to spend the night with him before his LA trip the next evening. It was a normal night with friends. And despite your pent-up feelings and wanting to avoid Harrison at all costs, you didn't want to miss Tom, he was your friend.

There was only the usual gang: Harry, Tuwaine, Tom (obviously) and you. But the tension was felt within the group. The lingering unspoken words about your feelings for Harrison were beginning to weigh on all of your friendship. It was so bad that it hurts to stay in the same room as Harrison. All you could see was his constant happiness, this wonderful man he had always been but in a more radiant version of himself. And you weren't the cause of that. You hated it, you hated being selfish that much. You were ready to sacrifice your friendship with the young Netflix actor for two reasons: you wanted to protect yourself ... and you weren't ready to be that obstacle in the midst of Harrison and Grace's happiness.

You were in the kitchen with Harry, pretending to help him with drinks and snacks. The curly boy could see you dragging your feet, repeating like a mantra this phrase "come on, you can do it ... do it for Tom, it's his night. Don’t be selfish, you can make it." And you really wanted it ... have a good time with your friends.

Sometimes Harry felt guilty for introducing Gracie to Harrison. They worked together as set PA in 2018 and became close friends but not as close as you were with him. You considered him like your best friend. It made sense for him to feel a bit responsible for your broken heart. But you never said a word about it.

“I’m sorry, y/n” confessed Harry.

“For what?” you simply responded.

"For having hampered your happiness. I was stupid to introduce Grace to Harrison and ignore your feelings. I wanted to help my friend. "

"Bullshit Harry. Never apologize for that. You've been a great friend to Harrison."

"But not for you."

"Who cares?" you asked, trying to minimize your feelings

"Me ... you are one of my best friend y/n"

"Just like Harrison is your best friend. Don't apologize for making him happy. Fuck, I'm the one who should apologize." You said, with a tone of anger and despair in your voice

And that's how you crack, breaking in all your sensitivity. You couldn't hold back your tears from falling as you blasted everything that was on your heart. You don't even realize that Harrison is a few feet behind your back. The weight of your feelings, your anxieties explode in the kitchen as when a cup is dropped on the immaculate tiled floor.

“What I got to do to make him love me? What I got to do to make him care? Not as the sweet friend Harry. I’m deeply in love with him and it’s gonna drive me insane! What I got to do to make him want me? Huh Harry, can you tell me? All those question in my head…and no answer to that. And you know what? It's sad, sad situation…more than that it’s a shitty situation, because I'm getting away from him and it makes us sick. Because I'm unable to tell him why.”

“You just told me.” Harrison finally said.

You jumped for a second before you froze. Harry is caught off guard and rushes into the living room stammering an apology. You are trapped. You are trapped and you can hear the footsteps of your roommate coming closer to you, so close, that now you can feel his breath on the back of your neck. Gently, he places his hands on your arms and exerts pressure for you to face him.

"You love me"

"It depends ..." you replied with difficulty

"On what?"

"On what you heard before."

"Enough that you can't contradict me."

Her thin smile doesn't help you relax. Instead, you look down, admiring your two pairs of feet. You felt like being stripped naked and you didn't like that feeling. If you could have kept this secret in your grave. But now he knew and you felt even heavier than the Titanic.

"So ... is that it? Nothing more to tell me?"

"What do you want me to add to what you've already heard?"

"Sorry?" he tried.

"For what?"

"For what? y/n are you kidding me? Sorry for being distant with me, maybe? Sorry for hiding all these things from you? Sorry for not trusting our friendship to come to me and speak?" he exploded…

"What would that have been for, Harrison? You don't love me back…" you screamed back.

"I ... I’m ..."

"See, sorry seems to be the hardest word."

After that last ironic reply, silence fell in the kitchen. So was that it? Was that how your friendship was to end? The great giants of the universe had reserved this dramatic scene for you to break years of bonding. You didn't know how to get out of this situation. You didn't even know if there was a few more things to save. You were broken and had just spoiled the happiness of one of your best friends.

Harrison was silent. He seemed to be probing your body, your attitude, analyzing any gesture that might give him the opportunity to take a step towards you. But the solution was there, finding everything ... It was enough, for both of you, to swallow your pride.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" you echo your previous conversation

"Sorry for not feeling the same as you. For not being who you want me to be to you."

"You know ... I don't hate her."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Gracie. I don't hate her. She makes you really happy. I just hate the jealousy I feel towards her… I hate that I am not her. But I don’t hate her, she's a really good girl."

A small smile dawned on Harrison's lips, the blonde toyed nervously with his fingers and the ring he always wore as an accessory.

"Yeah ... yeah she's great."

"I'm really sorry ... about everything."

"It's ok. We don't control how we feel. I..I can understand"

"Yeah..."

"y/n?" he tried; a little bit shy about what he’s gonna ask.

"Mhmm?"

"Do you think we can be friends again?"

You bow your head, taking a minute to think. Was everything really broken? Were you going to be able to rebuild a solid friendship after this conversation? Were you going to be able to squeeze out your feelings? You sighed before plunging into those beautiful blue eyes that you loved so much.

"Maybe. I hope so with all my heart."

"I hope so too. And I hope you find someone like I found Grace."

"You can always dream. You dripping with love, it's impossible to find someone like you two."

"Don't despair. He might be closer than you think."

He winked at you and you looked at him confused. But after a few seconds, a smile appeared at the corner of your lips. No, you had no hope of him talking about him. But you were happy, because that little sentence opened the door for you to a bond that you were trying to find.

[trashiewrites]

Promotion (Soap x Reader)

Word count: 2319

[Notes: I'm so happy to finally have finished this fic! I've been feeling on and off for a while. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also sorry I have really basic grammar so grammar might be shit.]

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Night lurked over the head of the men and women of the camp. You found yourself looking up to the sky for no particular reason. The stars of tonight shined brightly, they seemed almost hypnotic. You were out of it to not hear someone come by behind you. "Sky beautiful tonight ain't it?" You jumped up at the sudden voice, knowing it was the captain "sorry, didn't mean to scare ya!"

"It's fine captain...." you lightly chucked as splashes of red-tinted your cheeks. You've had a small feeling for the Scottish man. You've been denying it till recently. He's your CO but you know... at least shoot your shot. "Would you like to join me, captain?"

"I would love too" he sat down close next to you. A lovely grin from ear to ear as he stared at the stars too. "What do you see or get reminded of when you see the stars?" You hummed, placing a finger upon your chin as you thought. For a split second, you glanced at the captain...

"Well..." your heart raced at the thought of putting the notation of you liking someone out there. In the end, you chicken out of it. " I see possibilities! What about you sir?"

"They remind me of someone I deeply love." He chuckled as his gaze faced downward. "They don't quite know it yet though..."

"Whoever it is, they should count themselves lucky, sir." You nudged his shoulder, attempting to keep your cool, "you're an amazing person after all!"

"You really think so?" Soap laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck. You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. Though your chest showed this pang of jealousy. "Say... how about we head to the mess hall? Grab some dinner."

"Of course!" You yelped a tad too excitedly. Realizing that fact you tensed up and smiled nervously "um... Of course, captain..." the both of you stood and began to walk side to side. The walk itself was sweet and littered with small talk about anything. It could be training, people, or even gossip. Yet throughout the whole time you would glance over to the captain. Noticing small little details about him that made your heart slowly melt. His chiseled jaw, his deep blue eyes, the way he laughed and made others motivated. You loved every single thing about this man.

"I wonder what crap they'll give us today.." He held the tent's drapes open for you. "You first~" he mockingly bowed.

"Why thank you, captain!" You walk in after a small curtsy.

"You know you can call me John right? It's off-hours, so I don't mind." You paused in your tracks, processing the offer. You knew no one who ever called the Captain by his first. If anything you found the idea almost disrespectful to him.

"Are you sure sir?" You look at him with a look of pure confusion. He covered his mouth as a laugh leaked from it. Which by all means makes you even more confused.

"Yes, I'm sure. But just on off-hours, ya hear?" He smiled, lightly pushing your shoulder as he walked past you.

"Y-yes, sir!" You both went up getting your MREs. On the side, they had a package of tea bags, the water next to it respectfully. As well there is a brewer with a sign that reads coffee. You, being much more a tea person, gladly took a plastic cup and had your cup. John, on the other hand, had pure black coffee. As you sat down facing each other you could help but notice the stars in his eyes as he glanced at the coffee. If anything it was drop-dead adorable. As you both waited for the MREs to prepare themselves you decided to push what john told you earlier. "So John..." you coughed, hoping to release some on the nerves. He hummed back glancing down at you as he sipped his cup of dirty beans.

"Something on your mind (y/n)?"

"About that person, you talked about earlier. It-the one you love, can I ask more about them?" You glanced down, waiting to get scolded that it wasn't your place to know.

"Sure!"

"Sir, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked it definitely isn't-" you headshot to look at John as you realized the words that exited his mouth. "W-wait... really?"

"I mean, why not?" He smiled ever so innocently, "do you not want to know anymore?"

"It's not that... I just thought that's not really my place." You flash him a nervous smile as well a shrug of your shoulders. "But go on!" Your tone was almost eager, your heart yearned to hear this.

"Well.. she's a beautiful lass. Very strong-willed and kind." His face began to soften, you assume at the thought of the girl. "She just splendid to be around. She's smart, witty, and exceptional clueless..." he chuckled, facing off to the side.

"Do I know her?" You took a bit of your MRE. Which, by the way, was still piping hot. "Hot hot hot!!" You lightly banged the table as you swallowed through the pain. John smiled as he placed a hand upon his chin, pondering the question.

"I suppose you do, they are on the team." This caught you by surprise. You knew this person, and you trained with this person. The thought plagued your mind. Unaware of it, you were eerily silent as a checklist played through your head. John coughed, having taken bites from his meal, "look, you don't have to look further into it but if you do find out, I'll give you a promotion of sorts."

"A promotion? For something like this?"

"You'll see.." John smiled as he took his final bite. "Now I best be off, good luck." He stood, walking away from the table. Leaving you staring into the distance, dumbfounded. As you finished you knew that the other boys were up much later. Roach, for example, the man stays up all the time. Speed walking over to the barracks to see Roach outside on his phone.

"Gary! I have to ask you something!" He looked up and smiled sweetly.

"Sure! What could you need this late though?"

"Apparently the captain like one of the girls, do you have any idea who?" You spoke quietly as to not draw anyone else's attention. Roach was baffled at first at the weird question. Yet that baffled face soon became one that reads 'you can't be serious'.

"You are blind..."

"What do you mean?" You began to think it should be an obvious answer. But there are plenty of women as John described.

"Look... I don't know the captain personally enough to know for sure. But it's been kinda obvious for a while." Roach chuckled as his eyes returned to his phone, "I don't even think I have the balls to tell ya. How 'bout ask the lieutenant? He knows the captain like the back of his hand."

"Lieutenant Riley? Ghost? Do you know how weird that is? At least me and you, ya know, we are the same rank." You clutched your fist together, chills running down your spine at the thought.

"If I tell you, you probably, no, you WILL go ask the lieutenant anyways."

"Just tell me, Sanderson!" You grabbed the man, who is taller than you, by the collar of his shirt.

"It's you dumbass!" You stood there in silence. Some say your soul exited your body for a minute. Roach slowly moved your hands off his collar. "(Y/n)??"

"You're joking..." Roach shook his head. "Where is the lieutenant?"

"In the living quarter last I checked." Roach meekly voiced out, scared to once again get his collar grabbed. You walked in to see the lieutenant relaxing in the lounge area, his head in a newspaper. You quietly made your way over, as well as thinking of what the hell you would ask him. You found it painfully awkward to ask if your CO has a crush on you.

"You need something (y/n)?" He lowered his newspaper ever so slightly, his brown eyes staring coldly at you.

"Uh... y-yes I-I have a... question." You stared right back to him, the heat on your cheeks making you uncomfortable as hell.  He chuckled as he took one last look at his paper, folding it neatly. You could help but think did he already know you were coming here? I mean it wouldn't be surprising, due to the confrontation with Roach.

"Well, go ahead then. Ask away."  His  voice  seemed to mock you, not rudely of course. But it's as if he was teasing you.

"W-well sir, earlier this evening the captain g-gave me a challenge to... to.." you coughed the lump of nervousness in your throat was suffocating. As you once again open your mouth to speak the rest of your statement, Riley's deep voice chimed in.

"He dared you to find out who's he's crushing on, ya?" Your heart sunk down to your stomach. Of course he already knew... you feel the heat on your cheeks.

"Y-yes, sir... gosh this is embarrassing." You faced the ground, glancing up periodically.

"Well I'm assuming you want me to tell you who?"

"W-well sir, I originally asked Roach and well..." you coughed, trying your hardest to grow some balls, "He said it was me. I was just wonder if it t-true."

"I'll tell you two things alright?" You nodded as you took a seat across from him "one, he does. It's been quite obvious for a while. Two, he never shuts the fuck up about you.. god it comes to the point I hate being in a room alone with him."

"O-oh I-I"

"Just hurry up and get together already, that way he stops fucking going on about ya" you nodded did a 180 headed straight off.

"Y-Yes sir!!"

Just after, you sat at your bunk... you couldnt bring yourself to do it. Your mind was still processing it all in. Lieutenant Riley's word echoed in your ears. You yourself felt like you were floating, yet scared. "This must all be a dream, it too good to be true..." you pinched you arm, almost to the point of drawing blood. Eyes squint from the pain, and open to the same scenery as before. "What am I doing?" You stood and went to the mirror, slapping your cheeks. Squeezing your face together ever so slightly, "get yourself together (y/n), this could be the once chance!" You confidently went to the door. "Captain quarters are far... it shouldnt be difficult at all." You walked out briskly, closing the door quietly behind you.

You made steady pace to the captain quarters. You tried your hardest to keep your cool, you werent sure if it was working. Then again, it's rather late there really isnt many people around. You stood in front of the door. You have never been more scared of a door before.  You took a step forward, a deep breath, curling your hand to knock of the door. Before you could even knock the door opened and there stood the captain. "Oh (y/n), what got you out here so late at night?"

"I-I just N-needed..." your body shivered of nervousness, of course he would open the door right before you were ready!

"Look at you..." he spoke softly, grasping lightly at your shoulder. Placing another hand in the open air. "You're shivering like a you've been in the cold for awhile, come in." He slowly leads you in, even if you were at all cold (which you weren't) the heat from your face could probably keep you alive. You look up to him offering a cup of hot tea.

"Captain... I-im not cold..." you took the cup, taking in the aroma of the tea. "but I do appreciate the drink." It was calming actually.

"If you ain't cold, does that mean you're nervous? By what in god name has god cha nervous?" You place the tea upon the coffee table. You knew he was staring at you, yet you could stare back. Rubbing your arm shyly, a small cough to clear your throat. "Oh.... it's that challenge ain't it?"

You nodded, slowly lifting your head to see him. His expression was almost eager, perhaps hopeful? He held his own hands, twiddling with his own thumb. "C-Captain..."

"Please... Call me John." It was almost as he was begging just like a puppy. It took you by surprise but it's what you could atleast do.

"Okay, John," you chuckled. Cracking a small little smirk, butterflies already flying everywhere within you. "I-I like you too, I have for a while. Gosh, saying "like" is just an understatement. I've loved you for a while." You exhaled deeply, the weight in your chest seemingly lifted. John stood, sitting next to you. Wrapping you into a tight embrace.

"Congrats, (y/n). Are you ready for that promotion?" He spoke softly into your ear. Hunger, yearning plagued the tones of his voice.

"J-John what exactly is this promotion?" You moved his head back, cupping his cheeks. He smirked devilishly, slowly moving to cover your own cheeks.

"Well, of course. You're gonna be promoted to my girlfriend~" as he finished his sentence in a deep husky voice. He planted his lips upon yours, holding you close. It was heavenly, you didnt want it to end. His taste was hypnotic, sweet, hungry and full of passion and love. Time seemed to slow down and you couldnt care. Yet reality hit back always too soon. You two separate panting, staring longingly into eachothers eyes. "G-God I waited so long to do that..."

You panted quietly, holding your hand to his cheek. You sat and admired this moment, this moment will never happen again. "Well... I hope the wait was worth it." You laughed, pulling his head closer. Gifting him a small peck upon his nose.

"Oh definitely princess, definitely."

[venushasvixens]

Ch. 4 Back to Beginnings -Life is But a Dream (Spike Spiegel x Reader)

 WARNING: mild sexual content 

- 

The cool air that snuck its way between the buildings blew into you harshly. You placed your hand over your mouth, silencing yourself. You clenched your jaws to keep yourself from chattering, afraid that every little thing was going to give your position away. Whoever you were chasing should've been hiding from you, not from them. 

You could hear running in the distance against the pavement, echoing in the alley. It grew closer and closer. Your heartbeat was in your throat, threatening to jump out. You could feel the soft pulse through your fingertips. You couldn't tell if it was from the cold, or from the adrenaline. Was it a bad time to admit you needed to pee? 

You were a horrible bounty hunter. You were too loud, you were clumsy with your gun, and body is just far too slow to give chase. Matter of fact, you looked rather ridiculous. But then again, everybody has to start somewhere, right? 

Home was far away from here, across the solar system. And as much as you were homesick, fuel for your small, dingy ship cost money, and that was something that you did not possessed at the moment. Not one single woolong. Maybe a few coins and a token from the local arcade. You needed this bounty, and you needed it now. 

The running grew louder and louder, the noise filling the alley. You squeezed the handle of your gun, afraid that your it was going to slip. Suddenly, the footsteps stopped. You never really prayed before, but maybe you should start now. One step echoed in the alley. Then another. And then another. Each one growing louder than the next. 

You placed your finger on the trigger gently, your hand surprisingly steady. You could see the outline of the woman that was now hunting you, her silhoutte growing bigger and bigger. Even though you were in the shadows of the alley, you definitely were sure that she could see you in the dark clear as day. Then she stopped, maybe a few feet in front of you. In an attempt to scare you, maybe elicit a reaction from you, she flipped out the barrel of her gun, spinning it, and popping it back in, over and over. 

"You're sure one shitty bounty hunter." she spoke. You could hear the smile in her voice, one of the last insults in your short life. You could also hear the age as well, scratchy and hoarse. "But what I will let you keep for the next minute is the smallest bit of nerve for trying to take me out." 

"You have nerve now to assume that I'll accept that." you blurted out without thinking. It may have been stupid, but do you have all the time in the world now to think it over? 

 She scoffed. " Oh, please. You're the one thinking that I'll give up myself that easily. And to a little girl with a gun." 

You swallowed. "You're not wrong, but I might surprise you." 

"Hiding in an alley waiting for the enemy to come to her? Yes, that is very surprising." she cackled, her hair flaying everywhere in the wind. Her arms outstretched, like a villain who just told the hero their heinous plan to take over the world. The dramatics certainly didn't work on you, but you sure thought it was funny. 

You start laughing as you got up and dusted yourself off. Not in a mocking tone, or in a conniving way. It was totally genuine. She noticed this, and immediately stopped laughing.  

"What"s so goddamn funny?" she ran up on you, her faces inches away from yours. You continued laughing, your head down. "Tell me, or I'll blow your fucking brains out!"

She stuck her gun underneath your chin, snarling and hurling threats at you. This still didn't stop your hysterics. "I-i think.." you couldn't even finish this sentence without a chuckle or too. "I-i honestly think.."

"You think? Spit. It. Out." she growled. 

You smiled. "I think.. you are sure one shitty criminal. Your barrel's been empty since your laughing fit a minute ago." 

Her face went blank as she looked at her gun, the barrel unloaded. 

 "Also all your bullets are on the ground behind you." You stated, your mouth into a fine line. She back up, accidentally stepping on few of the bullets. Her legs flew up, landing on her back. You could hear her start wincing and groaning.

"Seriously, how old is your gun?" You snatched her gun out of her hands, inspecting it. At a first glance, it could've been mistaken for a prop gun in an spaghetti western movie. "Wow, this is older than you. And you're ancient."

"Its my lucky gun. Its been with me since I first started in the game." She muttered. She struggled to pick herself up, but before she could, you swiped underneath her knees. She buckled down, stunned.

"I don't think I can let you off that easy. After all, I'm just a little girl with a gun, I don't know what I'm doing." You shrugged.

You aimed your gun at her leg and fired, the shot echoing. Your bounty gasped in shock, then started wailing in agonizing pain. Clutching her leg, she cried out. "Are you fucking insane?!"

"No, I'm just tired." You sighed. "Alright, let's pack it up, John Wayne."

- 

As you finished the story, Spike and Jet could not stop laughing. It wasn't that funny. But with at least with five shots in, it was hilarious. 

"John Wayne?!" Jet choked out, clutching his chest.

 "I'm not kidding."You smiled. "I thought I was a total badass." 

As you all tried to catch your breath, Spike waved over another round of shots. Jet noticed this, and put his hands up. 

"No more, Spike." he said, yawning and stretching. "I think its time we hit the hay." 

"Oh come on, Jet. At least stay for one more round." you lied, secretly wanting Jet to leave so you could have Spike all to yourself. It felt so odd, wanting someone you barely knew near you. Before today's events, you caught yourself multiple times delving into fantasies where you were confessing your love and affection to this mysterious man, and him returning just as much. He would place his hands on either sides of your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb. His eyes looking into yours,  And then, that classic fairy tale moment would come. A sweet, soft tender kiss, and the flying off into the sunset. Then you realize that you were just creating a version of him that you wanted, and that he probably wasn't thinking of you at all. 

And then there was moments where your mind wanders off, and you begin to think of all the ways he could absolutely destroy you. Emotionally and physically, but mainly physically. You imagined the way he would pin you against the wall, cornering you in.  Trailing his lips against your neck, biting and kissing that sensitive spot that made you go crazy. He would grab your hair, pulling your head back to face him. It wouldn't be harshly, but that he had full control of you. Spike would crash his lips against yours, desperately and passionately, like it was the last time he would ever kiss someone. 

Moaning and whining for more, you would try to snake your wrists from his grip to touch him.  But he would keep you pinned down, only torturing you more. 

"I don't think you deserve to touch me, " he would tease, pulling back from you. "Unless I hear you beg for it. Tell me how bad you want me to fuck you." 

After that, you would put a lid on it for the moment. You would feel the immediate need to drink some water, and an even greater need to take a cold shower. Its not that you didn't want these thoughts, its just you didn't want them to intrude on your mind when you were  conversing with THAT person. Who was now trying to get your attention because you were spacing off. You were spacing off so bad, you hadn't realized that Jet actually did leave, and it was just you and Spike. 

"Hey," he said, waving his head in front of you, "you okay?" 

You nodded, hoping that it wasn't obvious that you were thinking of Spike fucking you six ways to Sunday. "Yeah I'm good! Why you ask?" 

"You were just staring at me like I was a piece of meat." he replied, lighting another cigarette. 

"Well, I don't even like meat, so." you smirked, taking a sip from your drink. 

He raised his eyebrows. "From what I saw earlier at dinner, I know that is a fucking lie." 

You giggled, twirling the small stirring straw in your cup. A little tipsy, and more confident than you usually were, right now was the perfect time to flirt. 

"I do like a sausage every now and then, but, "you shrugged, looking anywhere other than Spike. That was a little too bold. You looked back at Spike, who was just smirking away. 

"I think I'll that hang in the air for just a minute." he replied. 

"I'm sorry, it was just there. I had to." you chuckled. 

You noticed the faintest bit of blush on Spike's face. It could've been from the amounts of drinks he had, or the teasing earlier. You were pretty sure that it was from the drinks. Little comments like those definitely didn't influence that one bit. Or did it? 

"How longer on you planning on staying here?" Spike asked. 

"Until I'm ready to go to bed, and I'm wired." you responded, a little discouraged if Spike was implying that it was time that all parties were going home. 

"No, I mean staying here on the planet. I'll be here until next week." he said. 

"Oh my bad." you replied, your face burning slightly in embarassment. "I think the same as you, until next week. "

"Ah, okay." Spike mumbled. He looked at the tabletop, you both sitting in complete silence. What he said next made your heart jump into your throat. 

"I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to do this next week? Dinner and drinks?" He asked, finishing his cigarette. "Right before we leave, I mean." 

As much as you wanted giggle like a school girl, you played it cool. "Mr. Spiegel, it sure does sounds like you're asking me on a date." 

Spike leaned his head on his hand. "And what if I am?"

"I'd say yes. I need a little fun every now and then." you stated, mirroring Spike.

You both sat there in silence for a little bit. You wanted to say something else, but the silence was doing just right for now. Talking to someone was nice, but just enjoying another person's presence? That felt just right. 

"Question?" you asked. 

"Answer." Spike replied. 

"What  do you do for fun, besides drinking and being cool?" you smiled. 

Spike chuckled. He sat there, thinking. "If you would like, I can show you." he finally said. 

"Show me. I'll follow you wherever you go." you said, taking that last shot. 

"Alright, follow my lead then." Spike said, getting up. He held his hand out to you. You  took it, jumping out of the booth. You staggered backwards, but Spike wrapped his arm around your shoulders to steady you

"Easy there." he grinned. You were a little too tipsy to care about Spike touching you, but it was gladly welcomed with open arms. 

"Let me show you were the real fun is." 

- 

The real fun was in a small jazz bar, with a single man on stage playing the sultry notes of a saxophone. You were prepared for anything, but you thought it was going to be a little bit more exciting than this. But if this is what Spike likes, then you will definitely respect that. 

He sat next you, his arm on his knee, leaning his head in his hand. He looked mellowed out, a blank expression. You were watching him out of the corner of your eye, seeing if his face would change. But it didn't. He kind of looked bored. Hoping you weren't making him bored, you cleared your throat. That got his attention. 

"Hmm?" he asked, his eyes still fixated on the saxophone player. 

"How often do you come here?" you asked him. 

He sighed, leaning back. "Man, I want to say every time I'm on Mars. I've been going to this place since I was younger. Its almost like a safe haven for me. Where do you think I get my good taste in music from?" 

You nodded, chuckling. "I get that." 

"Besides drinking and enjoying some good music," you continued, "what else do you like to do? I already told you my hobbies earlier at dinner, so I guess its your turn to spill." 

Spike leaned backwards, hands interlocked in the back of his head. "My hobbies." he thought. "I want to say make money, eat, and go to sleep." 

You smiled. "No, I'm serious. What do you like to do for fun?" 

"I'm serious too. Now that I think about it, I want to add on watching TV and practicing some punches, so I'm not too rusty." he replied. 

"Who do you practice punches on? Not on anyone on the Bebop, I hope." you said. 

"If I could, I would. Some of them really do know how to push my buttons." he muttered, sticking a cigarette in his mouth, but not lighting it. 

"I'm not pushing any buttons by interrogating you, am I?" you asked, leaning closer. 

"Of course not. I'm just answering some questions for a curious cat." Spike winked at you. 

Your heart felt like it was going to pop out of your chest, this man was so fucking fine. You bit down your lip, tapping your leg. You hope it wasn't too noticeable that Spike's flirting was taking a HUGE toll on you. You couldn't go back on to your thoughts from earlier, you can't right now. If you did, boy you were in for a treat back at your ship. 

The silence this time was a little different, like something was off. You were expecting the conversation to bounce back, but it didn't. As much as you wanted to initiate talking, you felt like you could be talking too much.  Spike was quiet, and he hadn't really changed positions for a hot minute. You now knew that when Spike got like this, he was thinking. His face would be expressionless, tapping his leg lazily, and just staring whatever direction he felt was necessary. During dinner, while you and Jet were talking, he would get quiet and travel off into his own little space. Now that it was you and Spike, you felt like you were intruding on something. 

You turned your focus back onto the music. Coursing their way into your ears, the deep notes felt like they were pulsing in your body. You still couldn't get over the air between you and Spike. It felt a little somber. 

"Hey," you said softly, touching his arm, "is everything okay?" 

Spike looked at you, his eyes turned down a little. He looked right back at him, waiting on a response. His eyes traveled from your eyes, down to your lips, and then to the rest of you. Was he checking you out? His lips formed a soft smile. 

"Yeah, I'm okay, " he said, "but besides that, did I ever tell you how nice you look tonight?" 

As flattered as you were, you were still concerned over Spike. "No, but thank you. Spike, seriously, you seem off. You were just fine and chatty earlier, but your vibe is definitely off." 

"I don't think we've been hanging out that much for you to see that." Spike shot back. 

"Yes, but I kind of got a knack for reading people." you replied, crossing your arms. You were a little taken aback by his sudden hostility, but you really didn't know what was going through Spike's mind. 

"If I said something that offended you, I-" you began, but Spike put his hand up to you. He shook his head, folding his hands together on his chin, placing his elbows on the table. 

Conflicted with pushing until he tells you and just shutting up, you sat there. You began to distract yourself with thoughts of getting another drink, what you were going to do when this "date" was over. 

"Alright, (y/n)," Spike spoke, his voice smooth, "do you want to know what's really  bugging me?"

You hesitated, anxious that you awoken something that would surely make this the last date. You nodded, turning to face Spike. 

"The past." he murmured, scooting closer to you. 

"The past? Why?" you asked quietly. 

"Why the past? Let's see." Spike stared into your eyes, his gaze unwavering. You looked back, but averted your eyes when you felt like you were overstepping. You already were overstepping with asking if he was okay, but there was something about eye contact that made you uncomfortable. 

"I've had a long, long past (y/n). I've made many stupid mistakes. And even though I know they are all in the past, they keep finding ways to ruin my present. I guess you can say I'm torturing myself with being here, since this was such a big place to hang when I was in-" Spike stopped abruptly, clamping his mouth shut. 

You nodded. "You don't have to say anything else. I understand." You gave him a small smile, placing your hand on his shoulder. Fuck comfort, you thought. Maybe it was just a human thing, to reach out to others when they're in pain, forgetting boundaries and anything that could hold back support. 

He looked at the placement of your hand, then back at your face. It seemed like eternity that you were both like this. He returned the smile, a silent thank you in the air.

 "Now I know that we already kind of drank a lot earlier, but how does another round sound?" you grinned.

 Spike's face lit up. "You read my mind, (y/n)." 

-  

You stumbled your way out of the bar, clinging onto Spike as he led you out onto the street. You were a giggling, drunk mess. You weren't rowdy or anything when you drank, but you sure were the comedian. Spike sobered up a little earlier, so he was a bit straighter than you were right now. 

"I would say, Spike," you slurred, "you sure are a pretty man." 

"Oh thank you. Now lets get you back home." Spike replied, just holding onto you while you tried to walk without falling over. 

"No no, you're not listening. Like you are really, really gorgeous. So gorgeous, you could put Valentine to shame." you laughed. 

Spike chuckled. "Okay, I'll take that." 

"Say thank you."

 "No." 

"Why?" 

"Cause." 

"Why?" 

Spike sighed. Now you were getting a little annoying, but he didn't want to get rid of you for the night just yet. Even if you were drunk and acting a fool, your company was something he needed for a long, long time.

 "Its a pretty night, don't you think, Spike?" you said, pointing out to the stars. 

Spike looked up, amusing you. "Sure." 

"No, say that it looks pretty. Or else you'll hurt her feelings." you smirked, giggling.

 "Whose feelings?" Spike asked genuinely, because you were definitely talking out of your ass. 

"I honestly don't know. But I do know that I'm tired as shit." you mumbled. 

Spike was tired too, but for some reason, he didn't want the night to end just yet. You haven't noticed this, but Spike was walking around buildings to see if you would follow him and not the way home. And your dumbass just did that. It was actually kind of funny, but it was a joke only for Spike. For a brief moment, you walked completely normal, and then the spiral started again.

 "Look miss, if you keep harassing me, I'm going to have to call the police on you, and I really don't want to do that." Spike teased, only adding more fuel to the fire.

 "Ahh, no, please don't do that." you replied sarcastically, putting your hands up. "I've been a good girl, I promise." You half smiled at Spike, and continued staggering to the port where your ships were. 

Spike place his hands in his pockets, trying his best not to reply to that last bit from you. But maybe he could let a little something slip. 

"From what I've seen, you've been a bad girl." Spike taunted. "A very, very bad girl." 

You turned around slowly, raising your eyebrows. Now it was your turn. 

"And what are you going to do about it?" you asked, sauntering over to Spike.

 "Give a guess." he said softly, his voice low and husky from the cigarette he just finished.

 You moved in closer slowly, finding your balance. You looked up at him, boldly running your hands up his chest. Spike flinched from your touch, but melted into it. You ran it all the way from his chest to his shoulders, and finally up to his face. Placing both hands on either side of Spike's cheeks, you brought his face down to yours gently. The smell of alcohol and smoke filled your nostrils, tingling your senses.

 You tilted your head, chuckling softly at how you had Spike wrapped around your finger at this moment. Spike closed the space between you both, taking into account how your hands framed his face so kindly, like you both have been doing this for forever.

 "Mr. Spiegel," you began, smiling, "you're not going to do a goddamn-"

A loud blast burst through the air, scaring you enough to become completely sober. Orange flames and clouds of smoke could be seen from behind the buildings. Alarms from the surrounding structures sounded off, people yelling and asking each other what the commotion was.

 "What the fuck?" you yelled as you watched the flames grow at a steady pace. You shielded your eyes, coughing. 

"Its from the port!" a person shouted. "There was an explosion at the port!" 

You and Spike looked at each other. Without thinking, you both bolted towards the chaotic scene. Every step brought more anxiety, not only for your ship, but for the Bebop. People ran around, to and from the port. You covered your mouth from the sudden inhalation of smoke, coughing more and more. As you came to a clearing, you could see the tumultuous scene before you. 

Your ship was burning, engulfed in a blaze of violently whipping flames. You shielded your face from the heat of your destroyed home, backing into Spike.

 "(y/n), we have to get away from here!" Spike shouted over the screams of panic surrounding you both. He wrapped his arms around you and started pulling you away, your feet dragging. 

You began to hyperventilate, unintentionally filling your lungs with smoke. Either from shock or the smoke, your vision blurred, and finally, slipping to black. 

- 

AN: Thank you all for sticking around. With these last two months, I've lost two jobs and gained one where I'm finally in a good place, financially and mentally, so that's good. I want to push out more fics for characters listed on here and my tumblr (same username as my Wattpad). Once again, thank you guys so much for enjoying this fic, and please, stay safe. 

[ariddletobesolved]

Days We Spend Under the Sun (Chapter Two)

Written for @helsa-summer-event

Fandom: Frozen

Genre: Romance, Family, Fluff, Whump

Rating: T

Summary: Summer is not her favourite season, but a certain Admiral from the neighbouring kingdom is going to change that.

Perhaps we should call this a collection of Helsa fluff drabbles. External links (including some links to the prologue and chapter one) are in the notes. Enjoy!

Prompt 2: Blue Skies and Dandelion Fuzz

—

Chapter Two

One of the best things about the forest is the serenity it offers, this pretty much she knew.

Standing near the river bank, Elsa had been staring at her own reflection for a while. It was still early in the morning when she sneaked out of Hans's warm embrace and out of her own hut in the village. Not that she didn't want to stay and cuddle—despite the fact that the weather was rather hot, but she would like some space for her to think, and the river bank being one of her favourite places in the Enchanted Forest could offer that.

Her mind began to wander to the event that happened the day before. Hans was indeed full of surprises when it came to wooing her, she was aware of that fact. But the trick he pulled, when he broke into a gallop instead of stopping to let her summon the Nokk, was one she didn't see coming. Nonetheless, she still found the journey quite enjoyable. Even during a few stops did she not try to summon the Nokk. The way he held her close to his chest was something she found comfort in. Eventually, they arrived in the forest when the sun went down, and Yelena was the first one to greet them, accompanied by Honeymaren. After having dinner, they stopped by the stable-like area in the village to give Sitron an extra bag of carrots. Tired from the long journey, they finally turned in and Elsa, of course, had to share her hut with Hans. 

Sighing in contentment, Elsa began to stretch her muscles. It had been quite some time since the last time she was back in the forest, she almost forgot how different the place was from Arendelle. It was really quiet in the morning. There was no sound of people trading or arguing, no sound of hooves clicking against the pavement, nothing but the serenity of nature. She smiled, still looking at her own reflection, before a familiar set of eyes stared back at her. The Nokk.

The water spirit rose from the river, standing tall before her in the form of a majestic horse. Elsa looked up with one hand reaching out to gently caress the spirit. Affectionately nuzzling its face close to hers, it was as if the Nokk tried to tell her that it missed her. Elsa let out a chuckle, for she was amused by the spirit.

"I've missed you too, Nokk." She said. "Sorry about yesterday, but Hans had another plan. At least we're here now."

The horse walked around above the river, and Elsa tilted her head in confusion.

"Are you complaining, now?" She raised her eyebrow. But before she could react, she saw a flash of fire. It danced from stone to stone, before stopping beside her feet. Bending down, Elsa smiled. "Hello, little guy!"

The fire died down, and a blue salamander crawled upon her open palm. Elsa conjured a small rain of snowflakes to the creature's amusement, as it poked its tongue out to catch some fallen snowflakes.

"You like it, huh?"

Blinking and tilting its head, Bruni, the fire spirit, stared at her with something like glee. It was obvious that the fire spirit was glad to have her back. The blonde grinned, finding the gesture adorable. Looking up, she saw the Nokk staring at her intensely.

"What?"

The water horse motioned at the path towards the village.

"You want to see Hans?" She inquired. At the mention of the former prince, Bruni smiled wider. "Why, so you can try to drown him again?"

If Nokk could laugh, it would certainly roll onto its belly, Elsa was sure of that. The unspoken tension between the two brought back a memory of their first meeting. It happened shortly after Hans was released from a three hour long questioning, in which the decision sparked a brief tension between her and her sister. Anna, being the wise queen she was, decided that she found nothing harmful with his presence back in Arendelle. Hans was there to deliver an invitation under the Crown Prince of the Southern Isles' order. Elsa, refusing to accept it, mounted on the Nokk and rode across the ocean towards where his ship was in the harbour. They had a quarrel which resulted in him slipped on Elsa's ice and fell into the water. The Nokk, that was offended by Hans' accidental name calling 'water horse' did try to drown him, leaving Elsa standing on her ice.

"He is not the same man, you know." She sighed, making her way towards the majestic horse. Bruni crawled up and rested on her shoulder. "He has grown to be a better person, don't you worry about it."

Elsa smiled at that thought. It wasn't easy to get where she was, but time had given them a chance. Then, faintly, she heard some footsteps walking closer. She turned, only to see Ryder walking with a smaller reindeer.

"Morning, Elsa."

She smiled. "Ryder! I didn't see you last night. How are you holding up?"

The young man returned the smile, half shrugging sheepishly. "Well, I'm fine, I guess? I've been taking care of the reindeers." He nudged the reindeer standing beside him, who nudged back. "This one is John."

"Oh," Elsa tried to bite back a laugh, "that's quite a name for a reindeer."

"I know." Ryder brushed it off as if it was nothing, certainly not aware of Elsa's amused face. "Oh, and one more thing, Hans is looking for you."

"Sure." Elsa turned to the Nokk, who was tilting its head. "I'll be there shortly."

"Great! I'll head off to the meado now." He said. "Also, the breakfast is ready, so you better go back soon."

Nodding, she looked back. "Sure. I'll see you later, Ryder."

"See you later, Elsa." With that, he took off with the reindeer.

Once again, she was left alone with the spirits. "You're coming, Nokk?" Instead of answering, the Nokk turned around and dived into the water. "So, it's just us." Elsa turned to the excited salamander, that was now crawling onto the top of her head. "Fine, it seems like you really are excited to see Hans."

She made her way towards a familiar path that led her back to the village. Taking a deep breath, she let the clean morning breeze fill her system. She looked up to the blue sky and sighed. Nothing topped a nice breezy summer morning. It was rather warm in the forest, since summer had arrived up north, but she liked it. Unlike Anna, Elsa wasn't a huge fan of summer. She couldn't really stand the heat, and would take every opportunity to take shelter under the shade. The reason why she agreed to Hans' suggestion to ditch the carriage—other than to spend more private time together on the journey—was because of her ability to conjure some clouds above them should the weather be too sunny.

The sound of children playing around and people starting the day got louder as Elsa walked closer to the village. From afar, she spotted a familiar auburn haired Admiral sitting on the ground with two bowls of steaming food beside him. He looked far too engrossed in a conversation with a brunette sitting before him, he didn't see her coming.

Elsa saw this as an opportunity to surprise him, but before she could do such a thing, Bruni already beat her to it. The salamander hopped from her head and landed safely on the ground, before it crawled towards the Admiral. Upon the tiny element of surprise, Hans almost jumped on his seat. Bruni settled on his shoulder, causing him to turn and saw Elsa standing nearby.

"Elsa." He looked a little taken aback, before flashing her a smile. "Have you been there for a while?"

"No." Taking a seat next to him, Elsa pecked his lips shortly. "I have just arrived." She then turned to the brunette. "Morning, Maren."

"Good morning, Elsa." Honeymaren smiled. "Did you see Ryder?"

"Yes, I did." Elsa nodded, taking a bowl Hans offered her. "Thank you, Hans." Turning back to her distant cousin, she continued, "So, what were you two talking about? You both seemed engrossed."

Honeymared glanced at Hans, before replying, "Nothing that would interest you, really. Hans was asking about the crops, yeah."

Hans smiled. He didn't say anything, instead, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. But something told Elsa that it wasn't exactly their main topic of discussion.

"Okay."

"Where were you?" Hans asked. "I woke up this morning and you were nowhere to be seen."

"I was at the river bank, talking to Nokk, before Bruni came." She smiled at the beaming salamander. "They missed you."

Hans playfully rolled his eyes. "Yeah, as if the water horse misses me. I wouldn't be surprised if the little guy here did, or maybe Gale, since it greeted me earlier before deciding to play with those kids." He gestured at the wind spirit swirling around two giggling children.

Elsa grinned in response. "What did I tell you? Nokk doesn't like it."

"What will the Nokk do anyway, try to drown me?" He raised a brow, before shrugging. "Anyway, you should finish your breakfast. Are you going to visit Ahtohallan later today?"

She shook her head no. "I'll go to Ahtohallan tomorrow."

"Great! Because I have a plan for the two of us later." Hans beamed, briefly glancing at Honeymaren, who shrugged slightly.

Elsa narrowed her eyes. "What is it?"

"That, Kaere, is for me to know," Hans poked the tip of her nose, "and for you to find out."

"Fine."

Elsa beamed. Excitement surged through her, as her mind began to think of a few possibilities. She might look as if she wasn't expecting much, but deep inside, anticipation was building up. She looked forward to whatever adventure he had in store for her.

[thecoleopterawithana]

Omfg thank you for your precious answer you're my favorite tumblr !! I have so many things I'd like to ask you bc you explain so well lol, first of all what do you think of the story of Tony Manero ? Do you think he tells the truth with his story ? Again thank you for your answer love youuuu

Hey again, dear anon! (I’m assuming you’re the one from before) Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m truly happy you're enjoying the blog, and that it is engaging enough to make you want to ask questions. I’m more than happy to try my best at answering them because I learn a lot in the research for these posts too!

For context, Tony Manero was a Brooklyn singer/dancer (who claims to be the inspiration for the main character in 1977′s Saturday Night Fever, though no movie-related source mentions it).

He comes up frequently in Beatles’ fandom circles as a “key witness” in the ongoing case of John Lennon’s sexuality. His testimony appears in Geoffrey Giuliano’s Glass Onion (1999), where he is interviewed on his encounter with John Lennon on the streets of New York City, on May 1974:

TONY MANERO*

Interview

New York, Summer 1992

Question: Tell me your story about meeting John Lennon.

Tony Manero: It was back in May of 1974. I saw three guys walking down the block. John was always my idol. I went up to him and said, "I know a lot of people hassle you, but I just want to thank you for your music. I've enjoyed you and you've helped me through a lot of emotional times." Outside Jimmy's Bar in Greenwich Village he said, "Why don't you come inside for a drink?"

Question: Who else was with him?

Tony: Harry Nilsson was also there. After we ordered drinks, John switched seats to be next to me. He said to me, "Are you gay?" When I told him I wasn't, he looked really disappointed. He could have been joking, but he wasn't. My initial reaction was fear. And yet I wouldn't leave because it was John Lennon. I said to him, "No, man. I don't go that way." "Are you sure?" he said, "Look, I'll take you to Hollywood." John was calling me "the pretty one." He told me, "You're the prettiest chick I've seen all day." He said, "You look like a pretty little Indian or Arab chick," because of my color skin. I remember Harry was borrowing one hundred bills from him.

Question: Then what happened?

Tony: At one stage I went out, and when I came back he was talking to this woman and he said "She said, 'I thought he was Paul, meaning McCartney.'" So John turns around and says, "No, he's prettier than Pauly. He's got a nicer mouth than Pauly. Pauly's got a small mouth." Then he turned to me and said, "Let's go get some chicks." This man was giving me a dream to pay millions for. I hung out with him. John almost admitted his gay tendencies. He put his arm around me. He said, "It feels good to hold someone. You know what I mean?" Prior to that he said, "There's nothing wrong with being gay. Two people exchanging feelings is not wrong. Did you ever try it?" People were following us. We were wasted and he put his arm around one girl and said "Suck my cock." He stuck his tongue down her throat. We were loaded. Somebody stole the hat right off his head! He was so nice. I remember we had a hamburger. Later we went to his hotel rooms, 1608, -9, and -10. There was Harry's bedroom, John's, and a living room with a keyboard. He gave me a guitar, but it was later stolen. He propositioned me in the street. Hassled me if I'd ever made love to a male. "Will you give me head, man?" he asked. But I wouldn't do it. "Come on, Tony, why won't you give me head?" We went back to his hotel and he propositioned me again. After John died I wished I'd done it. He tried to kiss me. He put his arm around me. He was making moves on me like a guy would make on a woman. We were on the couch and we lay down. I said, "Wow, maybe I should have." I never asked him if he'd had sex with a man, but it was obvious to me he had. I was at the hotel for a few days. But he never bothered me in the middle of the night. He never attempted it again. There were feelings and looks. He was very loving, like when a guy is very lonely. The man was bisexual - there is no two ways about it. He was feeling me out.

Question: What do you say to people who might not believe your story?

Tony: John did come on to me. He did try to make love to me. He asked me to perform a lewd act - that's the truth. The man was bisexual - there's no two ways about it. Any of his fans who can't dig that, I'm sorry, because if you listen to his music, sensitivity and experiencing is what it's all about.*Tony Manero was the inspiration behind the seventies film Saturday Night Fever and a successful New York businessman.

— in Geoffrey Giuliano’s Glass Onion: The Beatles In Their Own Words (1999), part Seven: Friends (pages 315-317).

Concerning Manero’s recollections, some familiar elements pop up.

There is "It feels good to hold someone. You know what I mean?" which seems to echo Paul’s recollections of his last hug with John, where the latter commented, “It’s good to touch.” It is a classical example of John craving physical affection.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. Two people exchanging feelings is not wrong. Did you ever try it?" reminded me immediately of the poem John submitted for Len Richmond and Gary Noguera's Gay Liberation Handbook, on 30 May 1972.

Why make it sad to be gay?

Doing your thing is O.K.

Our bodies our own

So leave us alone

Go play with yourself - today.

Also, there are his comparisons to Paul, "No, he's prettier than Pauly. He's got a nicer mouth than Pauly. Pauly's got a small mouth." 

First, there’s the use of the adjective pretty, which he’s used for Paul before:

I remember we were going down to the studio [...] and there was a great crowd pressing against the car. John was sitting in the back and he said, “Push Paul out first. He’s the prettiest.”

—Victor Spinetti, in the documentary You Can’t Do That! The Making of ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ (1995).

Also, there’s “that Paulie business” (note that’s it’s Paulie, not Pauly; and John will object if you use it, especially in a condescending way!).

Moreover, to me, the whole exchange strikes the same tongue-in-cheek tone as this late 1975 interview:

John: Yes, all your best friends let you know what's going on. I was trying to put it 'round that I was gay, you know-- I thought that would throw them off... dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys... but it never got off the ground.

Q: I think I've only heard that lately about Paul.

John: Oh, I've had him, he's no good. [Laughter]

— John Lennon, interviewed by Lisa Robinson for Hit Parader: A conversation with John Lennon (December 1975).

John had already insinuated his relationship with Paul in a similar way in this humorous self-interview:

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually ‘keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway, I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you’re saving quite a lot for when you’re 40...

A. Yes, there might be nothing better to do, tho I don’t believe it.

— John Lennon, interview conducted by/on John Lennon, and/or Dr Winston O’boogie, for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine (November 1974).

I introduce all of this because if there’s one thing I at first found odd in Manero’s account, it was John’s forwardness. John doesn’t strike me as a guy to openly proposition another man. Was he really just super keen on it? Was he getting liquid courage from all the substances? Was he trying to get those rumours off the ground? A mix of all three? 

But perhaps it’s wrong to look at 1974 as just a normal year. 

Lennon’s Lost Weekend was the time of his life where we can see him be the most publicly vocal about his curiosity. He was open about being open. 

And striking friendships with gay musicians like Elton John probably gave him someone who he could talk to, or at least explore the world of gay bars with. Whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright, after all. 

One of those “dancing at all the gay clubs” episodes has been recounted by musician and music producer Mark Hudson. In a “weird but beautiful” moment, John urged the group to join him on the dancefloor, when The Three Degrees’ ‘When Will I See You Again’ came playing through the speakers and he exclaimed, “I love this song!” 

Because it’s always informative to pay close attention to the songs that were resonating with them at any particular time, I’ll provide the lyrics to ‘When Will I See You Again’ (released in the US on September 1974):

Precious moments

When will I see you again

When will we share precious moments

Will I have to wait forever

Will I have to suffer

And cry the whole night through?

When will I see you again

When will our hearts beat together?

Are we in love or just friends?

Is this my beginning

Or is this the end?

When will I see you again?

May Pang reports in her book, Loving John (1983), that after she and John left LA to go back to NY — where, after some time at The Pierre hotel, they moved to small penthouse apartment on East Fifty-second Street, around July 1974 —  the McCartney’s had paid them a visit.

John would spend the next two months recording Walls And Bridges, before releasing it on 26 September 1974. It included tracks such as the aforementioned ‘Whatever Gets You Through The Night’, ‘#9 Dream’ and also the beautiful ‘Bless You’:

Bless you wherever you are

Windswept child on a shootin' star

Restless spirits depart

Still we're deep in each other's hearts

Some people say it's over

Now that we spread our wings

But we know better, darlin'

The hollow ringIs only last year's echo, oh-oh

Bless you whoever you are

Holding her now, be warm and kind-hearted

And remember though love is strange

Now and forever our love will remain

As a song, I think it's the best piece of work on the album, although I worked harder on some of the other tracks. In retrospect, that seems to be the best track, to me.

— John Lennon, interviewed after the release of the album, cited in John Blaney’s John Lennon: Listen to This Book (2005).

(I’m sorry, I got sidetracked by their love for one another...)

But getting back to Manero’s story, you asked me if I think it is the truth or not. And honestly, there’s really no way to be completely certain of the veracity of these accounts. Having said that, I don’t really see this story as the scandalous, explosive news it is often made out to be. Not because I think it might be untrue, necessarily, but because I personally feel like John’s interests in homosexuality come through in his own words, as we’ve seen in the previous post.

For me, it seems clear that there was an attraction there. Now, an even more interesting question, I feel, is how much of that attraction was about the physicality of the male body; how much was about the contact with one’s softer, more sensitive side, not allowed in the classic moulds of toxic masculinity; and how much of it was seeking sexual contact as a way to epitomize emotional intimacy? 

And with the complexity of human beings, it is fair and likely that there were little bits of all three elements involved. But perhaps, it’s best to continue that line of thought in another post...

But what do you guys think? I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the subject!

[novembersrain]

Her. - Roger Taylor Fanfic - (II)

Pairings: Roger Taylor x OC.

Summary: It’s been three months since Roger met Natalie Manning from New York City. Queen was in the midst of their Sheer Heart Attack tour, and girls were throwing themselves at him every chance they got. It wasn’t that he was opposed to it, but there was still one certain brunette who he couldn’t keep his mind off of.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions, and implications of sex, small age gap.

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: Yay! Chapter two is here! I’ve gotten such a positive response on the first that I genuinely can’t even begin to tell you guys how happy I am that you’re enjoying it. I’ve gotten some requests to be upon a tag list so if you have any interest of being apart of that at all... Send me a direct message and I’ll be sure to add you to the list! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Chapter One Chapter Three

...

“I’m just saying, love. You grew up in California, isn’t that right? What’s the harm in taking a little trip down here to see us? It’s at the Santa Monica Civic. You love the beach. It’d be a two in one package deal.” Roger said, speaking softly into the payphone. He had been trying desperately to get his dear Natalie to come out and see him perform live ever since he left her three months prior, back in the Big Apple.

“You know that I would if I could, Roger, but I am just too busy right now.”

“Too busy for your favorite rock star? That’s not quite fair now, is it?”

Natalie laughed at this, but she didn’t reply, she didn’t need to. They’ve had this same interaction every time they spoke over the phone. Roger knew what she was going to say.

I have an audition coming up that I need to practice for, Roger.

Finals, Rog. Not this time.

You know I would be there if I could, but I have prior commitments I need to attend to.

I don’t have the money to do it this month. I need to save up for my trip back to California in December.

He had tried to persuade her in every single way that he knew how. Told her that he would help her learn her lines, would help her study for her finals, and even offered to pay for her flight out to whatever state he was in that week. Her response to that was, “I’ll let you do that when pigs fly.”

Roger then went to Freddie and asked him to design something similar with his graphic design skills so he could send it to Natalie. She still declined.

The silence that filled his ears was enough for him to realize that she was over this topic. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Listen–”

“Roger, I know. I know that you’re frustrated with my same answers over and over again, but now just isn’t a good time. I’m almost done here; I only have two weeks left. Then I’ll fly out to wherever you are and I am all yours. Alright?” Her voice was soft, soothing. It was reassuring for Roger to hear, but he wasn’t going to let himself get his hopes up. He had done that one too many times already.

“Alright.”

The mood of their routine phone call had changed. He was frustrated. He wasn’t use to people turning him down. Especially when he was sure the more resistance from her that he got, the more that he wanted to be with her. It was making his life more difficult.

Brian, Freddie, and John’s too. If they weren’t on stage, he was trying to talk to her on the phone. If he wasn’t on the phone with her, he was moaning and groaning to them about how much he missed her and how he wanted to throw himself out of the window of the tour bus.

“It isn’t like you guys are actually in a relationship, darling. You spent a full week with her in New York and promised to call her every single day. Just because you kept your word, doesn’t mean you’re going to get married when she finally comes out to see you.”

“Yes, Fred, I am quite aware of the fact that we are not actually in a relationship, thank you. I really needed you to remind me of that.”

“I’m just saying! You act as if your entire life is going to end if you don’t see her soon, but I feel that she’s making it quite obvious that coming out to see you just isn’t what she wants. Now, I’m not saying that she’ll never come out to see you, but for the love of God, stop pressuring her about it.”

That conversation he had with Freddie rung clear in his mind. She’s making it quite obvious that coming out to see you just isn’t what she wants.

“You don’t have to come, ever. If you don’t want to. I get it.”

“It’s not that, Roger. I promise you that it isn’t. It’s just– I’m 21. I still have a year left that I need to get through. You’ve already graduated from college. You're 26. You've already been through all of this. I would be there if I could, I know you know that. However, getting on a plane and flying out to a whole other state, just for a one-night show, it isn’t where my priorities are at right now. It really isn’t anything personal.”

There wasn’t much Roger could say at that. He could have yelled at her, told her that he doesn’t have to wait around for her, wishing for something that will never come, because she’s just holding him back anyways. Then he remembers that they aren’t in a relationship, and he’s holding onto unrealistic expectations from someone who just isn’t there yet. It isn’t her fault.

By this point, he can hear the guys yelling at him to get off the phone because it has been an hour since the show ended and there are people waiting to talk to him. Not to mention he’s used all of John’s quarters to have this long of a phone call.

“Right. Well. ‘Ve gotta go, love. I have some business to take care of. Let me know when you can talk next. I don’t want to interrupt your far more important priorities.”

“Roger, wait–“

He didn’t wait. He hung up, in fact. Petty? Yes. Did he care at this particular given moment? No.

I told all of my groupies to piss off because of her, was the immediate thought that came into his head. A fact that he planned to change immediately.

-

Meanwhile, in snowy New York City, Natalie was in a deep frown when she heard the other end of the line go dead. She had known Roger long enough to realize that he had quite the reputation for an explosive temper. The week that they spent together when he was still in New York was proof enough.

He threw a piece of bread at someone because his hair blowing in the wind was getting in their eyes. She would have deemed that action inappropriate had he not giggled at himself after the fact.

In fact, she would have been terribly angry with him now had she not been holding onto that one week they spent together, amongst all of their hour-long phone calls after that.

That week that they were together was something truly, well, blissful.

Upon meeting him outside of Juilliard, she didn’t give Roger much else of a passing thought. He was certainly easy on the eyes, but so were millions of other people in the world. It wasn’t something out of the ordinary. She had learned quite quickly that she would be eating her words. Roger asked if she would take her down to the cafeteria so he could fetch something to eat, and she was happy to do so. It was there that she would then deem Roger Taylor to be one of the most interesting men she had ever met in her life. He was funny, intelligent, had a wonderful taste in music, (he gushed to her for about twenty minutes over how good her cover of Imagine by John Lennon was), and he could hold a decent beat. And a decent tune. She was already cursing herself for not using the hour that they had just spent together previously getting to know him better. So, that’s what she did the week they spent together. She got to know all of him. All of him.

“You are an absolute idiot.” She mumbled to herself, setting the phone down on the hook and laying back into her mattress. Her life was much less eventful than his was, but… She had dreams of being on Broadway. Other than the classical training she had for singing throughout middle school and high school, she had nothing to back herself up with. Going to this college, getting the absolute most out of everything that she could was what was going to send her into the profession that she wanted to be in. She knew that. Everyone knew that. No ridiculously handsome and talented drummer in an incredible band was going to persuade that. Even if she truly hoped that she would let herself give in one day.

-

“Into fitness, are you? Well, I’m sure that we could find an activity or two that is absolutely certain to get your heart racing.”

The woman that Roger was talking to didn't oppose his idea, so he was quick to want to head out of the bar with her. This was typical Roger behavior. To head to a bar after a show and pick up a girl, a girl who would actually want to spend some time with him.

The drive that he had taken to his hotel was quiet, other than the light music playing from the radio. The drive was longer than he thought it was going to be. It was easy for him to do things like this. He had done it several times before, but in the moment, all he could think about was how this girl wasn’t Natalie.

It isn’t where my priorities are right now.

Right. That’s why he was taking someone else to his temporary home. Because she doesn’t want to be there with him. It’s not like he’s upset over it. That’d just be plain crazy. He wasn’t in a relationship. He could do whatever the hell he wanted without giving a damn what anyone else thought.

If that was true, then why does he feel so down in the dumps? Why can’t he stop thinking about Natalie? Why is he wishing that this were her that he was kissing right now? Why doesn’t this woman smell like sunflowers? Why don’t her dark roots match the rest of her hair? Maybe he should tell her. She might want to get them fixed. That would be a nice thing to do. Why is she looking at him like that? Aren't they having a good time?

“Natalie!”

Oh.

Oh. That’s why she’s looking at him like that. Maybe he should help her gather her things. No. She seems to be doing just fine without him.

“I’ll call you?” He yelled out after her but was only met with the loud slam of the hotel door.  

Maybe he deserved that.

-

“I’m sorry, you did what?!” Brian asked, nearly in hysterics once being updated on the events that went on with Roger the night before. Freddie was rolling around on the floor laughing, and he swears that he’s never seen John laugh so hard over something before.

Great moral support.

“I was having an orgasm and I called out Natalie’s name, okay? You want me to say it again so the whole audience can hear you? I WAS HAVING AN ORGASM AND I CALLED OUT NATALIE MANNING’S NAME.”

“I’m sorry. You did what?” A softer voice asked, one that was enough to make the guys stop laughing and scramble off.

Roger turned around and was faced with the woman he had never wanted to see less at that moment.

“Hey, Nat. How was your flight?”

...

Taglist: @jennycidesstuff @sarai-ibn-la-ahad

[maybe-homestuck-now-or-something]

I guess, looking at these links.... I dunno, eventually I get hit with this heavy sense of "why bother" when thinking about the epilogues. one of the statements I really stand by from my original critique, is that homestuck was a story where the author had set up certain expectations with the readers. like, tonal expectations for the story? and it's not as though the story never played with those expectations before, like, the whole shit with Gamzee happened. but what really kept homestuck together as a narrative, was the fact that there was a really clear goal, and fulfilling it ended the story. but with the epilogues/HS2, what is the goal anymore? to just... keep going?

and I guess this is what happens when you have characters acknowledging their status as fictional people within a narrative, as like... the crux of the story's whole conflict? eventually your brain goes "yeah, you're right. you are fictional. there's an author, and they had options, and I'm not having fun." and suddenly your "villainous" Dirk starts feeling more fake than ever before? like, why is he even the one who is so aware of the narrative anyway? why not John, who has actually messed with it before? it just seems arbitrary.

in the best case scenario, a story's meta narrative can engage the audience further in the idea of the fictional world being its own kind of reality. I think Undertale did that really well. but the epilogues start you off with a heavy dose of tonal whiplash before trying to convince you that one of the main heroes of the story you just read is bad now, and the reason is [heavily meta stuff where we acknowledge that homestuck isn't real haha you really thought...] like, idk, that's kind of off-putting.

I mean, if Dirk's purpose in all of this is to keep the story going, then first of all, he should probably be approaching this as more of an entertainer? like, maybe set up shop in this story and try to make it a good read? a lot of his existentialism is technically interesting, but the fact of the matter is that it's dry, and the format isn't fun the way it used to be. and it has alienated a lot of potential readers, like, way to go... really made homestuck keep happening there. which is kind of a salty take from someone who's not gonna read them, but like, all the stuff I said about why people who liked homestuck wouldn't like the epilogues still stands. and if you wanna go a step more meta, I think it tips the authors' hand a bit. because in order to justify making an epilogue, one of the questions that the authors had to answer is "what's the point?" like... is the epilogue going to be a slice of life series of vignettes? is it not going to have a central conflict? and to me it seems really transparent that there was this notion of "no, we have to have a villain" so they made one. and given that, it's hard to really sink my brain into the narrative themes that could be going on with Dirk as an ultimate self. part of my brain just doesn't buy the whole premise. like, I think this is a valid negative escalation of his character, but it doesn't really line up with the positive trajectory that his character was taking as homestuck was ending.

and I think the biggest reason why I say that is because of Dirk's ties to themes of parenthood. which is something that reeeeally falls by the wayside if the whole ultimate thing is true. my head is buzzing with a lot of little connections with this topic, but I'll try and hash this out in a way that makes sense.

basically, between Rose, Dave, Roxy, and Dirk, there's this big overall theme of wanting familial closeness. this is super obvious in some ways... especially with Roxy. but one time, Roxy asks Dirk what he thinks their kids would be like, and Dirk is like "they'd be a couple of little freaks of nature" or something. in essence, Dirk doesn't have confidence in the idea that he'd be a good parent, though it might not be something that he's thought of in such explicit terms. and I think a big part of that is his relationship with the autoresponder.

the autoresponder is so intensely interesting to me in this context, because Dirk sees it as an autonomous entity with its own decision making capabilities, while also seeing it as reflective of him in some ways, which is a lot like how a parent might relate to their child. he tries to correct the autoresponder on flaws that he sees within himself, and cringes when it acts out in ways that are dumb and immature... after a certain point it starts using red text, which directly links it to Dave. and if this is our reading of the autoresponder, then Dirk's darkest hour was when he nearly destroyed it.

but the rest of what Dirk does after that is important. Dirk was about to destroy it because he couldn't control it. but instead, he chose to let go of that control entirely. he steps back from that precipice, and instead prototypes the shades, giving his creation total autonomy. at that point, it merges with Equius, totally distinguishing itself from Dirk's identity. and while Dirk finds Arquiusprite to be really cringey, he is definitely totally separate from Dirk, because he 100% does things that Dirk wouldn't do. but most importantly, Arquiusprite is happy. he loves existing... Dirk did what was best for him.

when Dirk talks to Dave, and Dave explains that his Bro was a piece of shit to him, Dirk isn't lying when he says that he can see the potential for bad parenting within himself. but Dave tells him that he's different, and accepts him. and on some level Dirk proved to us that Dave isn't talking out his ass about that. it's a resonant endcap to a well executed arc.

and yeah, you could explore the idea of Dirk sinking back into bad behavior after this, but like, you'd really have to do the legwork of explaining how he unlearned the stuff he figured out in homestuck. I think what bothers me about ult Dirk, if these links accurately describe what's going on with him, is that he feels like an unjustified regression. and if you take the incredibly meta stance of looking past ult Dirk and addressing why the authors of the epilogues would do this... I think it just feels to me like they saw him as convenient. or like they didn't understand how things had already become resolved with him?

and it all wraps back around to me thinking about homestuck. its format, genre, tone... the expectations that it set up about itself as a story. when homestuck ended, it gave the characters their reward, and it felt rewarding. this was why a lot of people were reading homestuck for 8000+ pages, like, I can't overstate how invested a person has to be to march through all of that. and this was the carrot on the stick that got us there, y'know? if you're finally given the chance to bite into that, and it turns out to be made of wax, you're not gonna feel like your effort was worth it. it's frustrating.

and like... I think I also mentioned before that I actually like the slice of life genre quite a lot. and I think that post of the characters edited into photos really is what I would've wanted from the epilogues, ideally. like, what could be better than the fantasy of being in the world and having the ability to do all the stuff you want. travel wherever, explore the planet, see the people you love... and that doesn't mean there wouldn't be goals to accomplish, or problems to solve. but maybe they wouldn't have to be ones that'd shatter the universe.

or idk. part of me thinks that any kind of epilogue isn't really necessary. though I had been a little interested in the idea of hiveswap linking up with post canon? like, not epilogues post canon but just earth C as a nice place. cuz like, we have all of friendsim characterizing this whole roster of unique and interesting troll characters, who are eventually going to end up dead due to the SGRUB apocalypse caused by our main 12 playing their game. seems like kind of a waste, right? unless there's a way for them to escape it somehow. and the cherub portals featured in hiveswap could present a unique opportunity to do exactly that. and how entertaining would it be to see that whole crew get introduced to life on earth C and have to unlearn the toxic elements of living in alternian society... like, there's how you'd continue homestuck and keep it relevant. it's all right there, and it seems like it would've been so fun...

oh, also, I've been posting outside links this whole time so no worries about that! it was interesting to read, and especially with the first one, I do agree with the idea that Dirk isn't infallible. I just feel like I wanted a more holistic approach to his overall character, and seeing him become a villain in this way is disappointing, where the epilogues as a whole could've been satisfying.

it is time.

I want to compile a more complete rundown of my thoughts about homestuck 2. I want all the stuff in my head to be in one place, and I know this is going to be incredibly long winded and I don’t care. I want to be honest… I want to understand why I don’t like this media. on more than a “but of course” level because there are a lot of people who have it as a gut reaction that this stuff isn’t right. but I think there are layers to what produces that. I wanna get in depth with this. so that’s what I’m gonna attempt to do.

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