#and if you read this and get curious what my agab is: guess. i dare you

[nataref]

Been thinking on it more recently, and.. I'm so sick and tired of AGAB language and its substitutes. I'm sick of AGAB being used as a cudgel against transwomen, I'm sick of division and binaries, I'm sick of seeing people misattributing traits/behaviours to the genitals you are born with instead of attributing these traits/behaviors to societal structures and to the individual as a *human being* not "AMAB" not "AFAB" just human. Just a person. Because that's all any of us are. The only meaningful difference in human sexual dimorphism is how it impacts your reproductive capabilities & healthcare needs.

A transman is abusive or toxic? Cool, thats because hes an asshole. Not because hes a transman. Anyone can be abusive or toxic. Its not attributable to his AGAB/Transition history/gender. He would be shitty either way.

A transwoman is sexist? Cool, its because shes a woman who happens to also be sexist. Alot of women are. It's not because of her gender, or her AGAB, or any other aspect of her gender identity. Guess what? Anyone can be sexist, it came free with your worldwide systemic misogyny. To single out a transwoman as being sexist *because she's trans* is transphobic. Shes sexist because shes a person who is sexist. Thats it thats the whole story case closed, can we all stop with this ridiculousness now?

My point being, the toxic traits and bigotry, whatever they might be, are NOT STORED IN THE GENDER. It is stored in the person. The individual, and the larger sociopolitical structures which enforce these ideas. The toxicity is stored in the human person in front of you, to try and endlessly argue otherwise betrays a tendency to dehumanize, degender, and categorize (usually trans) people. To see their behaviour as a reflection of a group rather than the reflection of that person, you know, the full human being you are talking to/about.

I just... I hate this. I want people to put their money where their mouths are and understand that gender being understood as rigid categories that largely dictate how a person behaves, looks, and feels, has always been the fucking root of the issue (transphobia, sexism, misogyny, intersexism, etc). I'm sick of boxes I'm sick of persistently being told who I am, and who other people are, because of AGAB. I'm sick of it in every form it takes. So sick in fact I've honestly decided from now on I'm never telling anyone who doesn't already know my AGAB what I was assigned. Because it doesn't fucking matter. It's never mattered.

And maybe, just maybe, if you don't get to pry that information out of me- and other trans folk- at every possible opportunity anymore, you'll start seeing me as a person first, and transgender second. A person with flaws and strengths, a person who is whatever way I am *because I'm me* and not because I'm part of whatever category you want to shove me into. And maybe, just maybe, it'll make some of you stop and actually seriously think "why do I even want to know so badly?"

Thats all rant over goodbye 🚶