#and if u choose to express this tendency by identifying as a ‘bi lesbian’

[lilacfarm]

I define my lesbianism (not necessarily yours, but this might help you understand yourself better) as a tendency rather than a restriction. As a lesbian I *tend* to be attracted to women in all forms. Masculine, feminine, trans, cis, neither, all. Or, the people I am attracted to *tend* to be women or “womanish” like myself.

Because this is a tendency and not a restriction, it does not invalidate mine or anyone else’s identity if I am attracted to someone who is not a woman. If I was dating another butch, who realized they were a man while we were together, they would be a man and I would be a lesbian and we would and could still be in love.

Sure, I could identify as bi or homoflexible or homoromantic-bisexual, but labels are community more than rules. And I love being a lesbian and carrying on the legacy of other lesbians. I love that throughout history we have blurred the lines between womanhood and manhood. I love that we have claimed both.

This is why I hate the language of “can’t” when it comes to label discourse. “Lesbians can’t be attracted to men” “Men can’t be lesbians”. As if there is law that says so. But there’s not. Never will be and never once was. Queer people (not all lgbt folk, Queer People specifically, which I am) have always done whatever we want with our bodies and identities. Isn’t that a beautiful thing? Isn’t it a prime example of the complexities of the human mind?

Going back to the original point, my lesbianism, and maybe yours, doesn’t have rules. A lesbian could be in love with someone who looks like, acts like, fundamentally *is* a man and still be a lesbian if that is the community they want. There are no rules.