#and if trial by combat before any marriage negotiation keeps that choice available? they’re gonna do it

[horta-in-charge]

I love this! Now I must add to it by destroying the entire premise 🤣🤣 and also why aren’t human males getting picked off? Or at least having required collections for insemination?

You’ve got lots of important families right? Well some of them can’t be down for this whole alien thing, but they definitely can’t say it out loud because the aliens might get mad and kill them. So they have to find ways to get out of it.

Enter important families living in somewhat secluded areas/villiages/estates. They’ve got some different customs and want them respected, some of them only do buisness in their own languages, some of them won’t speak to aliens directly, and then there’s some that have different marriage customs altogether.

Picture one of these villages scheming to keep their kids on earth. They recruit locals around the village to play along (the locals have got to be sick of this whole thing too, or are just wanting in on making aliens look dumb). The locals act as guides and interpreters for the respective alien men/kidnappers/creeps/whatever who are very unwanted.

In this particular village they have a requirement of trial by combat for marriage (total lie but no one is going to call the villagers on it). And of course because the aliens (let’s go with Cardassians for this off of the anon) think that marrying one of them is such a high honor, they are kind of pissed about it. They get told by a local guide (a farmer) that the weapons are provided (they are) and all they have to do is show up and swear themselves in. There’s a whole part of agreeing that if they fail they can’t come back and try again. Clearly, Cardassians are stronger than humans so they really don’t think anything of it because how could they lose.

So they’re at the arena (maybe 5-7 Cardassians are competing) and in walks the selected challenger, who is on the tall side of average (for a human woman), she’s got average muscle, average everything, except she’s very pretty (by human standards). And the Cardassians think that because marrying one of them is a high honor the village has selected someone they know won’t win or is highly unlikely to win just to get the formalities over with.

The weapons are inspected and chosen, and the prospective husbands get to choose the weapon so it’s ‘fair,’ and the woman takes about 5-10 seconds to absolutely obliterate them. Maybe a Cardassian can beat a rapier wit but not an actual rapier. They’re run right through, lost their sword in like 2 seconds, absolutely failed. Some idiot picks a bo (staff) and gets caned pretty much immediately. Weapon after weapon, guy after guy, she’s winning all of them. She literally wins Every. Single. Match. Zero scratches, not even a hangnail, hair in place. Sweat? We don’t know her.

The Cardassians are getting emergency medical treatment and ask the guide what the hell the challenger’s day job is because clearly they’ve been bamboozled. Something was tampered with. This situation is impossible. The guide turns to ask the challenger (who is there because they also have to get checked for any injuries) what they do for a living. The challenger answers, the guide turns around and gives the response: ‘She’s a doctor.’

ok, so I know you said that you feel that pre!Surak Vulcans wouldn’t have developed warp cores without Surak….but other planets still would, right? For the sake of AU I’m about to describe, imagine that Vulcans basically become an isolationist society similar to Romulans, but without the territories and empirical stuff outside of their planet (and the Romulans still leave Vulcan to make their own society). In this AU, I’m imagining that the Cardassians make first contact with Earth instead of Vulcan. Humans also happen to be universal breeders, meaning they can reproduce with basically any other humanoid species, even those that normally require more than two parents like the Andorians/Aenar. So, when the Cardassians, who have a low birthrate (at least in this au), find a planet full of universal breeders….they jump at the opportunity, finding the most politically important human families and marrying their daughters to high-ranking Cardassian Guls. By the time the cardassian upper-class has had their pick of human females, the word has spread to other planets that humans are universal breeders, and the next to start scrambling for human females is the Andorians. The Vulcans aren’t far behind. Basically, imagine an arranged marriage AU for Dukat or Evek/pre-surak!Soval or pre-Surak!Solok (c’mon, we all know he’d be a clan leader)/Shran or Tholos (or both, because I think Andorians would end up sharing human females in this au, because while the second female wouldn’t be needed bc humans can carry in their wombs, Andorian males still only have half the amount of chromosomes required to make a viable fetus so two males are still required) who are married to the human daughter of a president/king/prime minister/senator/governor/Earth politician of your choice. Anyway, opinions on this? Sorry if this is a bit incoherent lmao.

-🌑

Oh. OH. I see. I love this, omfg. My answer is gonna be waaaay shorter and way less coherent, because I'm absolutely dying over this but YES PLZ. I LOVE THIS AU ALREADY.

My opinion on this is YES PLEASE.