#and if theres something you need to know about me is that i Must Nourish The Blood Lily

[ars0nism]

doing abyssos weekly as a whm every week is so much fun i love actually having to use raise because my fellow healer didnt expect the p8 raidwide hellscape

[rattusrattus3]

All the pretty people seem to be thin. That's not meant to be mean, just means I got a lot of work to do.

fuck i wrote out a whole long reply and tumblr deleted it i hate u tumblr, here we go again:

ohhhhhnooooo this is not the feeling i want anyone to ever get when they come to my blog i am so sorry this is the messgae you recieved :( 

listen babe i wanna say something that probably you wont believe but truly, youre wrong, theres tons of beautiful, pretty, handsome, sexy and beautiful chubby/fat/not thin people out there (just google it!), and even if you are not one of them its fine because your job is not to be visually appealing it is to feel things and make art maybe and pursue things that make you happy and to dance around to fun jams and eat yummy food and do things yu like. also, youre entitled to all the feelings you have around your body ! and they make sense, but maybe you can re frame the thoughts around your body as less negative

i think often we get kinda distorted views of our own bodies and faces because we see them so much, its like saying a word over and over till it doesnt sound like a word anymore, like you see your body so often that sometimes it looks distorted, other people do not see you the way you see you, i promise, in fact, a really good resource for this ime is https://www.mybodygallery.com/ where u can find photos of people with your body type and stuff and be like!!! oh!!! theyre cute!!! i guess i must be cute! or “oh! i would never tell them they arent pretty, so maybe i shouldnt do it to myself”

i would gently reccomend to do some googling about the body positivity movement and find videos and articles n stuff about others talking about their bodies and the societal conditioning we have around them, cause truly, loving yourself and your body is an act of resistance in a white supremacist, hetropatriarchal capitalist world that is constantly trying to make you feel shit about yourself so u buy more shit.

talk to ur body the way you would talk to a little child or a beloved friend. get dressed up in makeup and cute outfits and take cute selfies or get friends to take pics of u, or get dressed down and no makeup and messy hair and take pics of that, look at both and be like Damn i am A Stunning Human regardless of what anyone might think! (it might feel like a lie but just lie to yourself till it doesnt feel like a lie, theres not much negativity that can come from being kind to yourself so just try!!! if u can)

sometimes i dont feel great about my body and in those days i go to the mirror and strip to my undies and i look in the mirror and i say “hey. this is the body i got right now. i can change it if i wanna, and thats within my power, but also its perfect as it is right now and i love it.” and then i give myself a hug and lots of times you will feel like you are lying to yourself but do it anyway.

another little self love ritual i do is after showering i lotion all my body and as i lotion each part i tell it “i love u foot, thank u for takin me places” “i love u leg, thanks for walking me around” “i love u butt, thanks for being soft” “i love u belly, thanks for holding my nourishment and being squishy and cute”, like, just tell your body parts you love them. 

I dont think anyone has ever guilted or shamed or berated themselves into the person they want to be, so try to be nice and gentle and kind w yourself and know that you are doing just as much as you need to right now, and youre perfect. and i love you. 

I am really sorry if any of this sounded condescening it wasnt meant to be, sending u a really big hug  

[patience-inthemaking]

I got a lot I need to work through today.. I don't know how to process it all..

Screaming Ricky sent me a really long message if you want to read it, and my self analysis afterwards...

And.. it really resonated that although he took it a little more spiritually, it's the same trip you describe when you decided you wanted to live..

If I view my depression and self-hate as a beast, feeding on my insecurities and all the feelings of my past; I can find a way to gain control and fight it with positivity, nourishment. I can find that I can be better than the person I was before. I can confront my problems head on, and communicate them without the analogies and metaphors. I can speak the truth and push through to a more 'enlightened' version of myself, unhindered by the barriers that I have created.. but he's right, I was in a battle I never thought I'd have to fight again, and that's why I lost. Because I took myself for granted, thought I was strong, but hadn't faced myself. Now I have to face myself entirely. Break myself down completely, so that I can rebuild myself into a better person, nothing hidden. I have to make myself vulnerable whilst proving myself to everyone, and myself- that I am not my mistake but that I will come out a better person because of it. I must humble myself to this pain; and understand the devastation I have caused.

[never-lock-the-door]

I realize I haven’t posted in a while so here’s my re-intro.

Quick intro- My name is Chika and “professionally speaking”: I’m a PhD student doing research in Japan on alternative food networks and gender but “greater: this is my dream”: I’m on the quest to design food (eco)systems that uphold the dignity and respect of all beings involved.

I spend a lot of time, a lot! identifying injustices and flaws in our current food system, but it’s also been fueling my imagination for what is possible when we think about building an alternative system. Recently, I read an article by a farmer who eloquently articulated the collective loss that farmers are burdened with when it comes to farmers’ markets. It reminded me about the summer I spent working 2 farmers’ markets where every weekend a group of 10 of us loaded, unloaded, and reloaded towers of white crates filled with stone fruit all over southern California. On the “front of house” end, we had a beautiful cornucopia of colors and a sweet aroma that filled the air as people flocked to eat the many samples we endlessly cut. Something I observed from the consumer end was that me saying “don’t panic, it’s organic!” was all they wanted to hear regarding the 10+ varieties of stone fruit we carried. It felt a little disappointing as I and others were open to sharing more knowledge about the fruit, who grew it, where it was grown, etc.

On the producer/vendor side, I had fun building friendships and bantering with the other farmers/vendors at the farmers markets. However, the teasing and laughs masked the exhaustion and almost hopeless feeling that this was the only way to make a viable livelihood outside of the more conventional system where farmers are bound by contracts with large scale chain grocery stores. Collectively speaking, it doesn’t make much sense for individual farmers to foot the expenses of driving, setting up, tearing down, selling, throwing away food loss and spending thousands of dollars each month to distribute their produce. It feeds into the individualistic notion that you are along in the fight to succeed because we believe its the only way to survive… it’s what keeps capitalism thriving.

But does that have to be the only existing reality? What if we expanded beyond the individual? What would it take to build a brick and mortar or a communal space founded by farmers and centered on the farmer?

Living in Japan has opened my eyes to different possibilities as many structures are already built with a collective mindset. In Japan, there’s regional investment towards infrastructure building with their roadside stations and direct markets. It takes the farmers market concept and eliminates the loss and burden that I previously mentioned by allowing any farmer, hobby farmer, kitchen gardener to come and unload their produce to be sold and bought by anyone. You lose the people connection that some people yearn for at the farmer’s markets, but it serves as a convenient access point for both consumers and producers. Instead, there are signs that depict the producer’s name and sometimes their picture is there as well! The women farmers I interviewed rely on graphic designs to boost their marketing to stand out at these direct markets. The Japan model seems like it would be the solution to the problem I stated above… so why doesn’t it exist everywhere?!

Well for one, understanding context is critical. Roadside stations and direct markets are typical to Japan’s rural areas where populations are shrinking and aging. As people age, they will eat less, consume less, and cook less. The role of the farmer as we currently see it will diminish and head towards extinction. In urban settings of Japan, the questions point to who is going to buy and cook with fresh fruits and vegetables? Many big box grocery stores have shrinking fresh produce sections and growing prepared food sections.

We all must eat and drink every day. But who has the time to buy, cook, and feed each other?

There’s studies that say that people in lower income brackets spend more money on food outside the home than inside. Working multiple jobs means you spend that much more time in transit from one place to another and by the time you get home and realize there are multiple hungry mouths to feed… it makes sense to order, stop by the drive thru, or eat out. Here, individual consumers are left to struggle on their own- their struggles are siloed similar to the farmers selling at farmers’ markets. In both situations, and within the greater capitalist system, food is treated as a commodity.

What is a commodity?: it’s a good or material that can be bought and sold freely as an article of commerce.

In the above examples, food- is a good or item we sell, buy, consume through an economic transaction. That transaction can hold a variety of both positive and negative externalities: food coming from industrialized agriculture is polluting environments and destroying rural livelihoods in places we’ve never been to. Positive externality could be the satisfaction and positive health benefits we have from interacting and socializing with the farmers/vendors at the farmers markets.

While the farmers markets serves as a tangible means to economically support the farmer, what if we didn’t treat food as just a commodity but saw it as the medium through which nourishment and joy could be abundantly shared.

Okay that sounds abstract, but our relationship to food is complicated. It holds so many meanings.

We use food for celebration and ceremonial traditions. People explore love and relationships over food. Food comforts us in times of pain, sickness, and struggle. Sometimes food is seen as just fuel/input to curb your hunger so you can keep working- although if this were really the case then why hasn’t the industry for liquid iv bags skyrocketed? This is why I think food rooted in joy and nourishment holds potential for the greatest number of beings and therefore there is room for vast transformations in designing or reclaiming practices where food can be the center of sustainable resource management.

This is just a hypothetical or a fun thought exercise I go through in imagining what that design could look like. As of Jan 10, 2020 (first full moon of Gregorian calendar and last one of the lunar calendar) these are some brainstormed ideas.

A community space that feels welcoming to anyone where interactions can be had with people who are passionate about what they are doing and eager to share their knowledge with you. I’m using Japan as an example but imagine the ease and convenience of conbini (convenience stores) (theres no air of exclusivity or bouginess because it is literally everyone’s giant refrigerator/pantry. So combine with the friendly conversations and insights you receive from your favorite wholefoods cheese monger~ this is the kind of ambiance I’m imagining. (side note: Recently in Japan, there’s a courageous Osaka 7-11 store manager who is fighting against the strict rules of the corporation as he makes humane adjustments (closing on Japan’s biggest holiday or not being open 24 hours). We need more people like him in this world.)

A space that offers infrastructure for small scale producers and sustainable ag practitioners to share their harvests and where various eateries/pop ups/restaurants/canteens can feed and heal you (the trend of markets with a wide variety of food stands is way more satisfying than the 50 pg cheesecake factory menu), and co-learning and teaching spaces.  I’m not sure that the concept of a full-time job makes sense for the future but perhaps automation can “hopefully” give people the inevitable push to find different passions and pursue side hustles- Maybe it could be the chance for a re-emergence of teachers and creators. The space should be functional: maybe its 10 people get together and meal-prep for their entire week; meal-prep where you don’t have to eat the same thing for the whole week!  Sustainable resource management has to be done on a larger scale than just individuals going zero waste. We need to be building infrastructure and setting up policy to support systems design. I want a space where food is the vessel that holds stories, memories, and joy. People who were blessed to grow up with kitchens where there was constant action and lively movements could relate to such feelings.

This sounds pretty idealistic and I’ve seen similar models but they are often only catered to mostly the “glamping class[1]”… But I believe that with the right team of people to reimagine something different, commitments from different stakeholders, and a huge influx of capital, it doesn’t seem like such a far-off dream.  What small thing can I start with that helps build towards such a greater vision?

Being a grad student provides the opportunity to trial and error and meet different people doing similar things. I’ve been hosting weekly dinners after our graduate seminars using produce from the farm I used to live at: it’s a fun way to bond and get to know one another but logistically speaking it’s not the most self-sustaining. For example, I’ve never been able to find a replacement when I’m too busy… is that poor leadership on my end? Maybe. but also it could mean that it’s not a shared priority per se even though every time I’ve hosted there are people who come and join.

Last week, I had the pleasure of visiting a group of alternative farmers, some of who were active in the student protest movement in the 1960s. Their activism catalyzed their decision to choose farming as a medium to “walk the walk”. In other words, organic farming was an evolvement of their freedom of expression since the student uprise of the 1960s served as a platform raise their voice and speak their minds. The connections and friendships that developed during that time were critical for the foundations of Japan’s alternative food movement known as teikei. It became a natural fit for woke producers and consumers to come together to support one another to share food that was grown with love, care, and strong values. While the teikei model continues to decline and face possible extinction, I continue to be amazed by the friendships and close connections people share and support systems that they are building with one another. Maybe that’s what’s missing nowadays- deep connection and friendship.

I know I have a lot of ideas all the time but nothing will come of it or last without love and friendship. I don’t know if I’m currently doing what I’m supposed to be doing- but I am grateful for the many different people I have come to meet along this journey. I hope to continue deepening my friendships and love with the people that care about where our food comes from and how we share it with one another.

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Location: Hino, Shiga Prefecture.

[1] Glamping: glamorous camping: often falls to millennials and gen x who are willing to pay a little less than luxury hotel prices for a comfortable outdoorsy experience. They are often looking to get away from the mundanity of urban life.

the foundation of the perfect food system needs love and friendship. いい食と農のシステムの基盤には愛と親密さが必要 I realize I haven't posted in a while so here's my re-intro. Quick intro- My name is Chika and “professionally speaking”: I’m a PhD student doing research in Japan on alternative food networks and gender but “greater: this is my dream”: I’m on the quest to design food (eco)systems that uphold the dignity and respect of all beings involved.

[sarashafni]

I’ve seen a lot of subscription boxes, mostly beauty, and food, they have good stuff but usually very less in quantity and not worth the expensive price for a monthly basis. Either most of these subscription boxes are not practical or lifestyle related (It’s not always about beauty you see), it’s hard to justify a box that only falls under one category. You would hope that someone comes up with a more generic or lifestyle related box, something practical and well worth your money and useful for your family as well.

And then F-boxx arrives! It’s one of the best subscription boxes in town! Finally, a lifestyle box loaded with great quality and practical stuff fit for anyone!

Just so you have an idea of how good the box is, here’s a little stop motion video to give you a peek through.

Before you go ahead reading the review, get to know a bit about the company and the process.

About F-BOXX

F-Boxx is a young and vibrant monthly subscription box service, providing good quality and branded products for everyone.

How the process works:

This monthly subscription box comes in :

125 AED for 1 month

375 AED for 3 Months

720 AED for 6 months

    1,380 AED for 1 year

  REVIEW

This women subscription box from F-boxx comes loaded with practical stuff women actually want, not just for the makeup junkies but for moms and all the busy women out there!

The women box comes in a vibrant purple and yellow color box, as you open you can see all the stuff in there, and you would be amazed to see how they could fit in so much, one look and you know its worth your money!

So let’s take a look inside the box, shall we..

First you will see some leaflets about some of the products and 15% discount voucher from furless (Electrolysis hair removal), yes ladies you heard that right! 15% discount on hair removal by Furless, just mention “DARE”!

(2) herbal facemasks from Soffy Girl, herbal immortelle, and herbal lavender, come with a subtle fragrance, these are not only refreshing during summer, they brighten your skin,  reduce pores, and have a special anti aging serum to repair fine lines. It has a lot of product infused in it, very hydrating, the mask is made of a thick material which makes the serum easily absorbed into the skin, the only negative aspect of this product is the instructions are not in English but in Taiwanese.

Elfin bath gloves, Slough away dead skin cells whilst giving your skin an invigorating cleanse. Use these bath gloves with a body wash to work up a rich lather. A little body wash goes a long way.

Leivy Naturally – Body Shampoo, my favorite! this product made with purified goat milk is enriching and moisturizing, this body shampoo has all the elements to transport you to a boudoir powder room, the fragrance is calming, especially after a hard day at work or a workout, this should be used as a shower ritual, this body shampoo is soothing and mellow, does not have a drying effect and keeps your skin smooth and supple like a baby!

The Leivy natural hand cream, similar to the body shampoo is made with purified goat milk is enriching and moisturizing, not too thick like other hand creams and has a perfect consistency, not leaving a filmy layer on the skin.

The Uriage cleansing gel, is a little sample a great way to test new products is by providing samples of brands, this little tube has enough for a week. A gentle cleansing gel, which is soap-free which is meant for Oily and acne-prone skin, easy to rinse with a pleasant fragrant. This gel cleans, purifies and regulates your natural sebum leaving a soothing effect on your skin. I’d definitely recommend this product for acne and oily prone skin.

Uriage Cleansing Cream (sample) is another cleansing gel which is cream based and meant for sensitive skin, this is a nourishing cleansing cream having glycerin in it, meant to keep your skin soft and prevents it from drying.

Uriage Roseliane an anti-redness cream, A rich and non-greasy cream, protects the skin and limiting aggravating factors. When applying on the skin on the red areas, this cream perfectly moisturizes and soothes the skin.

This gorgeous tumblr from “Happy Jackson” really brightens my day! Look at it so gorgeous and PINK!! A coffee addict and an Instagrammer, this is just the right stuff to funk up my good morning pictures and flatlays! Great product, I’m actually sipping on some coffee with this, while reviewing.

(1) Beauty collagen drink, The Beauty collagen drink is such a hot product these days, theres a lot of hype on the internet as well, since I wasn’t sure what a collagen drink did, I googled and researched, The collagen drink craze started, as many beauty trends often do, in Asia, where brands like Shiseido and Amore Pacific have been selling collagen powders, drinks, and supplements for years. Apparently, the collagen drink, minimizes signs of aging, maintains your skin moisture and supports your skin elasticity, for more details about collagen read this article on Allure

Note – For those of you with health concerns, or in medication please consult your Doctor before taking any of these drinks.

(1) Misslyn perfect match eyeshadow, this is a funky shade of color for this summer, Blue eye makeup such as eyeshadows and liners are in trend on the fashion runway as well, I earlier had done a post on types of blue shadows you can read here Blue Runway Eye makeup. The quality of this eyeshadow was good, the pigmentation was great, love the different shades of blue, the lighter shade goes on your brow bone and eyelid, medium blue goes on your eyelid and the dark blue on your corner and crease.

(1) Elfin Tweezer, a good quality tweezer, now this is a must for every woman, we all need a good tweezer for emergencies!

(2) Cielo cotton, one pack of cotton balls and one cotton pleats, these are ideal for makeup removals, applying toners and for other beauty necessities.

Last but not least the F-Boxx Extra! this is a little surprise box kept inside your subscription box (They just know how to add an element of surprise to their subscribers!), as I opened it.

It was a cute little egg shaped lip balm from Misslyn, looks just like an EOS lip balm, it’s called “Candy Lip balm” very moisturizing for the lips and adorable looking!

Verdict: Ok people, this is the longest review post I’ve done, it’s just that there’s so much in this box and you need to see its worth, I’m so impressed with the quality lifestyle brands they included in this box, it’s surprising to see so many products in a box, this should prove its worth! And as I said this is a practical lifestyle box,  If you ever want to subscribe to a subscription box, F-boxx is the box you should go for!!

This is not a sponsored post, the box is given to me for my honest opionon and views, all the feedback mentioned here are of my own.

And medications or tonics to be taken orally should be checked by your Doctor first if you have any prior medical conditions.

            F-Boxx Women – April Review 2017 I've seen a lot of subscription boxes, mostly beauty, and food, they have good stuff but usually very less in quantity and not worth the expensive price for a monthly basis.