#and if i got 0 interaction from the start i'd be perfectly content! any interaction beyond Zero is just a bonus for me truly fdsjkl

[dandyshucks]

i will attempt to explain it and people are free (and welcome) to tell me if i'm misunderstanding or speaking out of turn! also I have troubles with tone in writing when I'm trying to be clear, so please read this all in as kind of a tone as possible - there is no bad judgement in any of my words here, nor am i meaning to be patronizing, and I apologize in advance if I come across that way!

(also disclaimer that there is infinite nuance to this situation and I cannot possibly cover all of it, but I feel like maaaybe this is a main theme that people are possibly missing, and that it's causing issues)

but I think what I am seeing is there are vaguely two sides in the selfship sphere - I have labelled them as the "community-builders" and the "scrapbookers" just for clarity's sake; this is not an attempt to divide ppl. the community-builders want to build community and connect and interact with each other. the scrapbookers are just here to post/rb about their F/O as if they're gluing photos and text into a scrapbook and that's it, they're not actively seeking a community for themselves.

both of these things are okay and fine! neither of these sides are bad or lesser in any way, they are just looking for different things in the time they spend on tumblr. (more under the cut bc it's a long post otherwise)

I think some of the issues are arising from community-builders assuming that scrapbookers are ALSO wanting community but just not putting the work in. so to community-builders, the scrapbookers appear as if they're expecting interaction without putting in any effort themselves, but I don't think that's the case. I think scrapbookers are just not looking for community the way that community-builders are - they want two different things from their experience in the selfship sphere!

I think there IS occasionally an issue where some people expect or beg for interaction without actually interacting with anyone themselves, but in that case it is best to block and move on OR let the person know directly (and kindly) that they should try to interact with others if they want interaction themselves.

unfortunately it seems like a lot of knowledge around community building and upkeep is not well-known in the present-day, because of [gestures vaguely at our current societal structure and the way social media functions now compared to how it used to etc etc etc]. so I do feel that posts encouraging people to interact with one another are good and helpful and sometimes even needed, but they are not applicable to the scrapbookers. I wonder sometimes if community-builders see scrapbookers having fun in their own little corner and assume that the they must want attention but aren't getting any, so we end up with an attempted rescue situation where community-builders make a "let's all interact more!" post to try to drum up interaction for the scrapbookers even though they aren't actually wanting that.

i know for myself, while I do enjoy the circle of friends and mutuals I've made, I am not super community-oriented. I interact with my mutuals and friends because I like to do so, and I also welcome in new friends and followers with open arms, but I am never expecting interaction and rarely actively seek it out. If my art gets notes, great! But that's simply a bonus for me personally. So to think that some people might look at 0 note posts of mine and think "oh that poor soul! they must be desperate for interaction! i have to do something about this!", that... feels a little silly and even a bit presumptuous on their part. I'm okay over here in my corner, I promise! :] I'm just here to have a space to love fictional characters, and I don't feel like I necessarily Want attention for that.

and to clarify! it is okay to want community, and to want interaction. we just have different wants and goals from our time here, that's all. neither of us are wrong for what we want and neither of us are better than the other - we just have different things we're looking for in this part of the internet, and that is okay :]

i keep seeing an argument of sorts floating around every couple of months and i think maybe the reason the argument is happening is because people are not realizing they want different things out of this all

[aroapl]

It varies a lot between different aplatonics. Plenty of aplatonics are favorable or indifferent to friendship and do have friends. For those that are nonfriending but allo and/or favorable in other forms of attraction, they may socialize with family or partners (romantic, sexual, queerplatonic, or other). Some like to socialize with acquaintances or strangers in settings like work/school, hobby groups, public hangouts (cafes, bars, clubs, etc), social media, and public group chats. Some have low enough social needs that they feel completely fulfilled by spending time with their pets or by things like listening to a podcast. And some just genuinely have little to no need for socialization and feel completely content without it.

For me personally, I'm deeply introverted and have very low social needs. I can almost always feel completely fulfilled socially by just hanging out with my cat and watching a video/stream where someone is talking (my go-to is video game commentaries and reaction videos). I also like to lurk in public discord servers and very occasionally chat with strangers in them. I do also have one friend and socialize with my family pretty regularly (I currently live with one family member and lived with my parents before this), but I know from experience that I can go long stretches of time without interacting with my family or friend and still be perfectly happy.

Only semi-related to this, but too much socialization is generally way way worse for me than not enough socialization. The worst I've ever felt from not enough socialization is like, feeling pretty bored and pent up on expressing my thoughts. On the other hand, if I go more than 2 or 3 days without at least 6 hours a day of alone time, I really start to lose my marbles. I start to feel exhausted, irritable, and hyperactive, and I get this unpleasant physical sensation of all my joints feeling stiff and locked up. The longer I go with too much socialization, the harder it gets to think straight, and the more it feels like my overall health is just deteriorating, mentally and physically. If I had to choose between 0 socialization for the rest of my life or 0 alone time for the rest of my life, I'd choose 0 socialization in a heartbeat, no hesitation.

Anyway, this kind of got away from me. I hope that helps you understand a little! Feel free to ask me if you have any other questions, or if you'd like me to elaborate more on anything.

Ok so I wanna preference this post by saying I'm asking this question in good faith and I'm really sorry if this comes off as rude in any way but I'm way to curious to not ask.

So as a person who is both aromantic and afamilial, but is very much alloplatonic, I get a lot of my need for social interaction and affection from my platonic relationships. and because humans are generally pretty social animals I was wondering what other aspec people who are specifically aplatonic do to fill their need for social interaction?

Basically I'm woundering what aplatonic people do to be social.

Again really sorry if this sounds rude in any way, and you can totally call me on it if I am, I'm just really damn curious.