#and if he can belittle francis and defeat him and prove him wrong - maybe he can defeat too that voice in the back of his head that said
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patrice-bergerons · 2 days ago
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Fitzier thought of the day is that James must have tried, probably quite hard, to befriend Francis, before we meet them at the start of the series. I don't think he ever liked Francis, their temperaments are too different for that (before going thru the horrors), but Francis is his senior on the expedition and James thrives by ensuring that he is liked by those in power around him, by ensuring that he is useful to them so that none look too closely at his gilded exterior to notice what it hides underneath. Sure he is shielded by Sir John, he does not report directly to Francis, but even then it goes against his entire survival strategy to be that openly hostile and rude towards anybody, even someone he can barely stand.
Which means, he must have tried with Francis, and probably tried again when his initial efforts failed, only to be met with utter disdain. And if your life is built around a lie you must hide at all costs and if the second in command is an Arctic veteran and a far superior sailor than you will ever be, if he rebuffs all your attempts at friendship and looks at you with that disdain—what do you feel except that you are seen for exactly what you are and rightfully condemned?
I think James hates Francis with everything he has because he would desperately like to believe that he is brave and clever and accomplished, that he deserves fame and success, and equally knows deep down, perhaps too deep down for conscious awareness, that he isn't, he doesn't, and he never will be.
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