#and idk it's hard to explain but looooots of people were there and most of them seemed pretty into it

[amandabe11man]

had the most insane dream about how Saw XI would go and it was so spectacularly bad that it reminded me of reading SNK's last chapter 😭 there was one cool part, but it was made pointless a couple minutes later

[somethingtoconfess]

HIGH ON SKAM 2_Day 1 (Saturday)

Hi guys ! :)

I’m sorry, I wanted to post before but I was really busy and I still needed tme to process everything.

The whole weekeend was amazing and I don’t even know how to express my feelings with words. So thank you once agin to The Rainbow Team and to all the actors present !

My friend Alex (@thebipanfangirl ), whom I spend most of the time at the convention with, already posted about this so you can also check her posts to have other informations.

- So, I arrived early with Luna (@classypicklepatrolroad ) and we had the time to chat a bit with other fans and volunteers. Everyone was in a good mood and really excited !

- Before the opening, we saw the actors walk by when we were sitting in the room and everyone started to get so excited, it was really funny. The opening panel was really fun! Everyone was so excited and Michelangelo talked a lot spontaneously!! He was really confident. Fun fact : He drank a looooot of water! And even poured glasses for everyone. That was sweet !

- Then it was the DRUCK panel and I loved seeing all the actors interact with each other. You can clearly see that they all like each other and that they are quite close ! The questions were really interesting and the actors semmed to have a great time as well (you can watch the livestream on Twitter if you want to).

- After that, we went upstairs to go to the autographs. Hassan recognised me and hugged me while I was waiting in the stairs (and people looked at me weirdly aha).

- Luna and I didn't have a ticket for the autographs (I wouldn't know what to do with them tbh). But we had to give Louis, Arda and Jobel the fanbooks. We waited a bit and then we saw that Louis and Arda were free so we asked if we could give them the fanbooks right now. The volunteers said yes and we gave them the fanbooks. We started with Arda and at first he was confused. Then we explained to him that it was his fanbook and he was really happy ! I also gave Louis his fanbook and he was really happy as well. They both hugged us and Michi and Jule were just watching us and smiling the whole time, it was cute. At first we forgot to take a picture with them so we had to ask a staff member to take one for us and had to queue again but on the side. So we were directly next to Michi who was dipping biscuits in his coffee so I told him "bon appétit" and he replied "Merci" with a really sweet smile. We finally took the photos with Louis and Arda and then we gave Jobel her fanbook. At first, she was confused and thought only Alex did it so Luna and I stood anwkwardly on the side but then she understood and she all hugged us. We took pictures and then Luna and I went out because it was realy hot inside.

- We had lunch and had to hurry up to go back to the convention. Sadly, we missed the beginning of pannel for S4 and we didn't want to go there for just a few minutes so we waited for the photos.

- The photos started with Lukas. I had two photos with him. I hugged him tightly and he was so smily and sweet. I showed him the poses and he laughed a bit at the first one, which was the Titanic pose. We started with this one and then we did the second one, which was a hug with his hand on my face but he squished my face and pushed my hair on my face so the photo will probably be a bit weird aha. I hugged him again and told him I'll see him later

- Then we went to the panel for s3 and it was really nice! Before it started, Michi was already inside the room and was talking to some volunteers. Then Lukas arrived and they had fun together. Then Henrik arrived and fans screamed when Henrik hugged Michi and Lukas. And finally, Maxence arrived last. Michi seemed so confused when Henrik and Maxence talked because he didn't know what they were talking about since he hasn't seen any ot the shows (nor Druck) aha. Henrik talked so slowly and Mawence talked a lot as well. The four of them seemed to have a great time.

- Luna and I had two pictures with Louis and Arda. For the first one, we wanted to recreate memes so we showed them the pictures. They looked at us and did the pose asking us if it was like this so we laughed and said it was. It took us a few tries. For the second photo, we wanted to do like a yoga pose but it wasn't working because of the lighting so we had to change the pose. Instead, we just did a group hug.

- Then I had a photo with Tua and Hassan. So sweet! Tua is sooo cute. One of us had to squat a bit and Hassan wanted to do it because I was wearing a skirt but I said no because I didn't want him to dirty his pants.  So I ended up squating in front of Tua but the photographer took a long time taking the photo so I was shaking like crazy. I hugged them again and left.

- For the Lukas / Michi photo, I was actually really nervous because it was the first time I would be able to talk to Michelangelo in person (and if you didn't know, I went to Rome because I really wanted to talk to Michi). I hugged Lukas first and then I hugged Michi really tightly and told him it was nice to be able to finally hug him and he smiled. I showed them the pose I wanted to do and Michi seemed happy to do it (everyone was doing the same pose so I suppose he was happy to do something else). It was like a martial art pose and he looked at me doing the pose so I laughed. Lukas started to get in position as well and I asked them if it was possible to hold hands as well. They said yes so I went in the middle and held their hands. But the three of us were standing on one leg and we were shaking, trying to find our balance so it was quite funny ! I hugged them again and told them I'll see them soon.

- For the Druck photo, I wanted to do a special pose without the chairs and I waited until the end so it would be possible, and asked 3 different people and they told me it was but then the photographer refused... So I stood in the middle, between Lukas and Arda. I asked them to do a superhero pose but they were confused and I think I'm the only one who ended up doing like the Wolwerine pose so the photo will probably be quite weird aha

- Then I had a photo with the OG cast (my only extra not Druck related) and they were so sweet !! Henrik is sooo tall and his hugs are really tight! Iman and Ina are really pretty and they were smiling a lot. I showed them the pose and they looked at itfor a while (idk why, it wasn't a hard one aha). Henrik asked me if he had to bend and I said it was ok but when I stood behing him I noticed I was really short compared to him so maybe it would have been a good idea aha (as I'm writing it, I received this picture and it's really cute !! I will post all my photos here later as well). I hugged them again and left.

- I was sooo nervous about my photos with Michi. I was in the first ones and I started by saying that I came here just for him and he thanked me with a big smile. I showed him the two poses and he was a bit confused then laughed at the first one. He had to do the « Ma che cazzo » pose looking at me and I actually told him this in Italian (he must have been confused because he knew I'm not Italian aha). We ended up doing it but I don't know how it turned out. I was really nervous so I can't even remember if I looked at the camera or even smiled. I couldn't see him either because he was looking at me so Idk if he did the pose or not aha. Then we had to do the second pose but he forgot what it was so I had to show him again. It was a really tight hug with my head on his chest. The photographer had some issues with the photo so I ended up taking another one so I apologised to Michi but he smiled and said it was OK. I was about to leave but I saw that the photographer was looking at the photos so I talked a bit more to Michi and said he was an amazing actor and that I watched all his projects. He was really touched and smiled when I told him I'll see him tomorrow!

- Because the photos were talking a while and that I was doing my last ones with Michi, we arrived late for the closing panel but it was quite nice! The actors seemed to really have a great time. Michi arrived later. We asked questions and then we watched the closing video (I was in it and I cringed so hard). They took a photo and then they left. Lukas, Maxence and Henrik arrived so they quickly said goodbye (the said they were really tired) and we watched the closing video with them another time.

- We took our coats and ran into Lukas oustide. He was carrying a bag full of gifts that he fot during the autographs session.

And that��s it for the first day. I probably forgot some things but that’s the most important things I suppose. I’ll post about Day 2 (I have even more things to say) later or tomorrow!

I hope you enjoyed it :D

[kimdaily]

Can you reflect on your experience as a popular bts tumblr blog? Maybe describe how it felt when you were at your peak in a fandom that was stanning a group that was beginning to dominate kpop vs how it feels now to still be present (and still fairly popular I assume! ) in the tumblr sphere of the fandom post bts blowup? Also what do you miss most from your early days on here? And what are you most grateful for now?

oh wow this is such a fun question djgndskgn ummm okay well

I looooooved being on tumblr, it was an escape from my reality and pressures of school and life. before this blog “blew up?” it was so fun and relaxing. I met soooo many amazing people, a lot of which I’m still currently friends with outside of tumblr/have visited/travelled the world with/stayed with/ have stayed with me, etc. it was incredible, it was such a nice welcoming community, I was able to just be myself, talk to fellow fans, create content, act dumb, joke around, meme, talk about serious things, have in depth discussions about so many things bts and non bts related. especially with being a blog for one of the least ‘liked’ or stanned members, it really meant that everyone who was following me was a namjoon stan and wanted nothing more than to just talk about him, it was like a tight knit community within a huge community. it was so crazy and so exciting to see the fandom grow with every comeback. that was my favourite time during entire time with this blog on tumblr. that was my favourite part. people who spoke to me were genuine and kind, they wanted to get to know me, the person behind the blog and also just treated me like a human lol which definitely changed drastically

then this blog really started to get a loooottt of traction, and as soon as I hit 10k, things really changed and it was never the same. as this blog continued to grow bigger and bigger, things became increasingly intense, and INCREDIBLY negative and just super stressful. as the followers continued to grow, the less people viewed me as an actual human who was doing things on here during my incredibly limited free time as my own escape and ‘fun’ time, and the more they treated me like, straight garbage? lol I was constantly being picked apart, everything I said was scrutinized, things I would say would always, without fail get twisted and people with do whatever they can to get whatever negative narrative they wanted. I remember me once saying it was none of our business to discuss the members sexuality and that we shouldn’t just assume their sexuality and to leave them be, somehow turned into me ‘pushing a straight agenda’??? and I was literally just dragged. which still to this day I still don’t understand how people somehow decided to take that out of what I said. I was always happy to speak to everyone and help anyone with any question they had but  at one point, despite me still trying my best, I was treated really poorly and like a literal like machine. if I missed something, or didn’t post something my inbox was always full of people yelling at me that this was my job and my job was to make things and keep the entire fandom updated with what’s going on. I also fully remember missing namjoons solo comeback because I was at work, and couldn’t be present to gif and make content, I got a shittttt load of asks telling me I was a horrible namjoon fan who doesn’t support him and stuff? like lol okay? what? or I would get yelled at if I didn’t respond to asks in a timely manner, because that was once again ‘my job’. my inbox also became google apparently. I would get hundreds of asks a day, with not a single person talking to me, and if I didn’t respond to those asks, I would get yelled at. I never really spoke about how many followers I had because tbh it didn’t really matter, I actually would often wish I was back to being a 5k blog and just having a good old time, I would get horrible asks about me being a bitch because this blog was ‘popular’ and that because it was, I was a horrible person?? or to just shut up because no one cares about me, or that I thought highly of myself because this was a ‘big blog’ which I still don’t understand, because I never acted differently throughout the years on this blog. I was always just myself. if anything I just became more closed off and learned to not bother speaking about myself/things going on in my life because I felt like people would be happier if I just did my ‘job’ even though this blog, was always just a personal blog that had a loooott of bts content, I was not like a dedicated bts blog. oh and I remember because I always was and still am a very blunt straight forward person, I would just speak whatever is on my mind, people would always misconstrue that as me being mean or rude. but anyway, I digress

I remember becoming incredibly scared to post, to say things, to do things because I was scared of continuously being attacked. I was scared to open my inbox, or my messages. like tbh even writing this I’m thinking “omg what if I don’t word something perfectly and people will get mad at me.” it’s honestly such a weird feeling to feel like you have to constantly edit yourself but also still trying to be yourself? idk how to explain it

but as much as I would crack and let all this shit get to me at times and publicly get upset, hurt or mad, I would also keep a lot of it to myself and just deal with the toxicity on my own, and just delete a lot of the messages or asks I got. because to me this blog was an escape, not just for me, but for everyone who followed me. I didn’t want people to come here and just see the negative shit constantly, I wanted them to continue to come here, have fun, and forget about whatever was going on in their lives, even if it was for just a few minutes. so even though that was no longer the case for me, I still wanted that for others. but it also got to the point that I was scared to turn off anon because I was scared of the potential backlash, but I also wanted those who wanted to be anonymous, who were not comfortable talking to me off anon to have that comfort in the anonymity etc. things just were really difficult, I always felt like what I was doing was wrong no matter what.

it also was very disheartening to notice a lot of other people only wanting to befriend me or interact with me because of the size of this blog. it kinda made it hard to become close to people after a while. people would make assumptions about me or literally hated me without even talking to me just because of the size of this blog.

there were so many times I wanted to delete this blog and make a new blog where no one knew who I was, just so I can start off fresh and relive the best parts of blogging in the first place. just have fun again. but I also didn’t find it fair to those who followed me, who relied on this blog for some sort of comfort. nor did I find it fair for me to lose something I worked hard on, and loved  

but on the other hand, there were SO MANY incredible people that followed me that made everything feel worth it. and I am so incredibly thankful and grateful for each and everyone of you. some of you really helped me when I was having some of the hardest times. some of the messages I would get had such a positive impact on me and my life. and like I mentioned before, I have met some amazing friends because of this site that are still some of my closest friends to this day. and for that, I will always be beyond thankful.

unfortunately I can’t say much about what has really happened on tumblr in the last like almost 2 years? I haven’t been around much and definitely would not consider this blog very if at all relevant haha in like mid? 2018 I kinda vanished from this site. I had a looooot of things going on in my personal life, like an insane amount of very complex, dark, hard, just straight up depressing things going on, and I was not able to deal with all of that, and the darkness of this blog so I left. I never meant for it to be as long as it has been, but it kinda just happened. like tbh part of me would love to kinda just open up about everything, though I did post a little something vaguely explaining what was going on with me. I know it didn’t make sense but I also wouldn’t even know where to start when it comes to explaining what has been going on. I also know because of what has happened with me, I was a real shitty person to some people on here. I also feel terrible that I had over 100 messages I never got around to answering during this time, and the 600+ asks I have sitting in my inbox right now. I know I let a lot of people down. but I also would like to say thank you to everyone and anyone who tried to reach out to me or giving me their best wishes during that time despite me not responding to most of you. please know I read every single thing that was sent to me, thank you

like part of me wishes I never left, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to do both, I was barely able to even survive what is going on in my personal life. I really miss this blog, I miss making things, I miss interacting with people, I miss fangirling, I miss so many things about this blog. despite everything, I would not take any of it back. having this blog was such a fun and unique experience, for the most part at least.

some unique ass moments like the fact I made a goupchat for namjoon stans to have fun and interact with each other and befriend each other in a more accessible and less intimidating way than over tumblr and I think at the peak there was 300+ people in that chat. and that chat is I believe 3 years old and is still active to this day. or that I somehow was in talks with a lot of namjoon fansites and actually worked closely with a namjoon fansite working on things. or people recognizing me in public which I still find wild, meeting some of you at the concerts and hanging out. or being able to befriend people with the same interests as me, becoming close friends and travelling together/visiting each other, etc. or the fact that I was able to help some of you though out some dark or difficult times, or opening up to me with things you’d not feel comfortable talking to with anyone else. or being told I was the inspiration for some of you to do so many things, like going back to school, changing majors, seeking help, loving yourself, etc. or getting sent fan art of myself???? that was crazy! there are so many more things I could say, but this post is already so long, and I doubt anyone is even still reading haha. but I never thought things like that would have happened to me ever, but it did, and I will be forever so thankful to all of you. thank you, and thank you to everyone who was there or me during the ups and downs. I know I wasn’t always the greatest friend I could have been, thank you for accepting me for who I was, thank you for being there when I needed an escape, thank you for everything.

this whole post is probably so poorly written, but esdljgknx I tried, I know I’m leaving out soooooooooo many things that I could have said or should have said, but this is already sooooo long holy. plus I have to get back to working on my stuff, the reason I came out to this coffee shop I’m sitting at right now haha

[infinnitethejackal]

Hey Finn, do you think you could teach me about what kin is? It sounds really intriguing and I think I'd enjoy learning about it :O

aaa, sure thing dude!! i’m not the best teacher in the world ngl lmao but like, i can at least attempt to do so! first off, i’ll preface that kin views, feelings and experiences can vary from person to person, so my own word shouldn’t be taken as all there is to being kin. i’m also gonna drop a couple of links before i get onto my own ramblings on the topic for additional information / more input!the otherkin wiki could be a good place to start poking around as there are multiple pages for different types of kin and other nifty stuff! treat it like an info hub! for example, check here for a brief run-down on fictionkin - my type!below a read-more here are then my own ramblings on Kin Stuff™ for you and anyone else who may be interested :0c 

ok, here we go! to begin with, as you heard me mention above the cut, there’s different types of kin - many actually - but they all still boil down to bigger categories for the most part - at least from what i’ve observed! otherkin is likely the most common term you’ll hear above all, and, again from my own observation so take with a grain of salt or w/e, is kinda treated as an umbrella / core term that links into everything else in some way or another?? for example, fictionkin are considered part of the otherkin community, stuff like that. idk it’s hard to explain hhHHHH moving on!!since i’m fictionkin myself, i’m gonna assume that’s the kind of kin you’re mostly asking about here, but like if you do mean a broader range, then fear not cause most things that i’ll try to cover such as memories of being who/what you kin or phantom sensations and all that jazz can still apply anyways.so! fictionkin is kinda… well, i guess the core of it is that it’s where you’re very deeply connected with a character, to the point where you just feel you are them, you identify as them. you just… have this strong feeling, this sense of “i am _” and it’s kinda hard for me to describe personally. most fictionkin such as myself believe in multiverse and past lives; there could very well be universes where these characters are or were real, and when they pass on, they move into another, taking a new form in doing so. it can be a spiritual thing, that kinda deal you know? different body, same soul? idk? but as i said earlier, this all still may vary from person to person; not everyone in the world has the same beliefs. to a lot of non-kin ppl, the whole thing probably sounds a bit bananas, identifying as a fictional character and whatnot. theres uh. a fair bit of hate for us out there lmaobrushing up more on the previous life stuff, some ppl actually have very in-depth and vivid memories of their life as the character they kin with and it’s really interesting!! they can be triggered by things relating to their character, or sometimes come in dreams. others may lack them, but whether you do or don’t get kin memories doesn’t make you more or less valid as kin. in some cases, ppl also share memories! that’s often referred to as being canonmates - taking into account how their memories line up so well, two or more ppl may believe they came from the same “canon” / timeline / universe as each other. also included in this topic is canon-divergence! a canon-divergent kin is where someone may have memories that conflict with some source material of the game/book/movie/etc.to pitch in my own example of the above kind of things, while i’m still not sure if it’s truly a memory yet as it’s my first experience trying to identify one, i have this extremely specific image that’s always dwelled in the back of my mind. it’s me as infinite, pre-forces, lounging in a big ol’ chill dogpile with the rest of the jackal squad. we’re in a desert, but nearby an oasis or smth i think? and for once i’m letting my guard drop?? they’re teasing me about how i’m going soft, but i don’t bother denying it and we all just cherish the moment of peace for once. i just… have such strong feelings attached to it, it’s stuck with me so long and it feels like something that may have happened. other things i feel fairly sure of are my old name being finn (hence why i use it now), and at some point (likely post-forces / post redemption of some kind?) i had a strong positive connection with gadget despite him not even being truly canon nor a friend of infinite at all.i’m wracking my brain for other stuff to mention, and more things related to kins can also be experiencing phantom pains of injuries received in their past life or just like, general sensations induced by kin related stuff. as a sensation example, again using just my own personal experience, one of the earliest times i can remember that i heard the phantom ruby sound effect in clear quality, i had a… kind like a sudden, tingly rush in the centre of my chest from what i recall? and there was this sense of discomfort i guess, yet also familiarity sorta? it was just after the game coming out so kinda a while ago now. some ppl get really unpleasant pains, tho i haven’t personally been thru that.on a final note, i think the last thing that comes off the top of my head to mention is kin doubles! i’m sure you’ve likely heard abt double drama joke posts and other stuff like that bc sometimes the discourse can be Real between ppl. again, doubles link back to the whole multiverse idea that a lot of this branches from, which would explain there being so many multiples of a character, bc we’re all from slightly different universes. some people can find doubles invalidating or intimidating i think? and so they don’t like interacting with them? others think they’re the “only real one” and that’s kinda shiddy. others are fine with doubles and i fall into that category!! welcome all twinfinites B)aaaand i think that a wrap! there’s a looooot of tangents here bc i wanted to try and provide as much insight as i could based on my own experiences, thoughts and knowledge, but even i’m still kinda Novice Kinnie so!! i apologise to fellow kin ppl if i made any inaccuracies lmao i’m not used to Explaining The Thinghope it was at least a lil informative !!