#and idk how lighting works. this is awkward nnnnn

[takitori67]

More about Magical Girl AU

(See previous: 1 || 2)

[chromecutie]

Cable x Reader - burlesque fluff!

A/N - unedited because I got sleepy but I still wanted y'all to be able to enjoy it for Saturday Night!

Tag: @starman-thorsus-canos-jock @emma-frxst (idk who else would want to be on a Cable taglist if I had one, but here y'all go!)

________

It was a Saturday night, and the team managed to not have a mission. Colossus tried to suggest a board game from the fancy high-strategy collection, but was quickly shot down by Wade (“What, so Domino can ruin us all again? I don’t think so!”). Wade tried to suggest a movie, but Cable cut him off before he could finish his suggestion (“I cannot watch the porno version of Predator again.”).

Domino hoped you might make a suggestion everyone could agree to, and finally asked, “Where the hell is Y/N?”

Wade howled at the top of his lungs, “YYYYY/NNNNN???”

“SHE’S NOT HERE,” Cable practically roared to make himself heard.

Colossus couldn’t help glancing around. He hadn’t noticed when you left, and felt a little embarrassed like he’d made a rookie mistake. “Do you know where she went?”

Cable fixed his gaze back on the gun he was cleaning. It was already clean; at this point he was fidgeting. “If she wanted us to know,” he hedged, “she would’ve said something before she left.”

“Ohhhh my god,” Wade gasped, “You do know!” He clapped his hands, excited to play a guessing game. “What’s she up to? Underground boxing? Secret meth habit? Robbing a bank?”

“No.”

“High stakes poker? Cock fighting?”

“No!”

They all said some variation of, “Then what??” in unison.

Cable sighed. He couldn’t deny that he wanted to see you, but he was pretty sure you wouldn’t want the whole gang showing up. Surely, if you had, you would have dropped some kind of hint. “We gotta dress up,” he said finally. “Black tie. And we gotta pick up flowers on the way.”

…

The gang had done their best on short notice. Domino wore a short, black cocktail dress cut so tight it was a wonder it didn’t split when she got in and out of the car. Colossus still wore his cargo pants and work boots, but classed up with a dress shirt, black suit jacket, and a tie. Wade, to no one’s surprise but everyone’s quiet exasperation, was in full Deadpool gear with a bow tie. Cable had managed to find a full three-piece suit, and though it wasn’t a perfect fit, he made it work. In his metal hand he held a bouquet of roses. They weren’t the freshest flowers, but they were the best that the store had.

They stood in the parking lot of a shabby strip mall and Domino said, “Looks like a nice neighborhood to sell your kidney.”

“This way,” Cable led them to the back door of one of the suites. He knocked and was quickly greeted by a drag queen in green glitter eyeshadow and three-inch long lashes.

“Hi honey,” the queen made a kissy noise and asked, “Who y’all with tonight?”

“Liz Lugosi,” Cable said as if he had been here several times.

The queen lit up with glee and put a long-fingered hand on Cable’s shoulder. “Ohhh! Lizzie didn’t mention anyone coming tonight!”

Cable gestured vaguely to the roses. “She’s not expecting us.”

The queen made a purse-lipped smile and shimmied her shoulders, hardly able to wait until she could spill this tea later. The team paid for their tickets and were ushered inside to pick a table.

The floor was full of glammed up people milling about, sipping cocktails and snacking on Chex Mix. The tables all faced a makeshift stage with a curtain made of cheap velvet. “What is this place?” Colossus folded himself into a chair that was too small for him, but he wouldn’t complain.

“It’s a kids’ ballet studio during the day,” Cable replied. “This is probably how they pay rent, though.”

Domino caught on and grinned, “It’s a speakeasy burlesque show.”

Wade cracked up laughing in earnest. Pretending to wipe away tears from his mask, he said, “What’s her act? Kicking off her boots and sexily peeling off a spandex onesie?”

“You’ll see,” Cable said impatiently. “Shit like this is probably why Y/N - Liz - never mentioned it, you assclown.”

The show started soon enough. Three performers in sparkly costumes made a show of sneaking out from behind the curtain. Each held a microphone. “Good eeeevening, daaaarlings!” the one in purple sequins drawled. The crowd applauded, some hooted.

The second performer wore something like a green velvet bikini with a lot of feathers. She tossed her blonde curls and said, “Who here has been to our show before? Come on, make some noise!” Almost everyone gave a shout except Cable, Wade, Domino, and Colossus.

“I don’t know that we should have come here,” Colossus whispered. Domino hushed him quickly.

The third performer wore a long, black satin robe, trimmed in purple rhinestones that glittered in the stage lights. She wore a wig of bright pink waves and cocked a hip as she turned toward their table. “I understand we’ve got some new blood in the house tonight.” The pink-haired performer sauntered between tables as she continued in a sultry purr, “So let’s go over the ground rules. If you’ve been here before, say them with me! Rule One!”

The audience responded, slightly drunk and mostly in unison, “No photos or video! We do this show live and only live!”

“That’s right,” she let out an easy giggle. “Rule Two?”

“No touching the performers unless you are specifically asked!” One young woman added in a buzzed, but enthusiastic slur, “Consent fucking matters!”

“YES, HONEY!” the blonde in the green bikini agreed.

The pink-wigged woman beamed. “Wonderful. You know, just to make a point,” she went over to the buzzed woman’s table. “Why don’t you give me a good slap on the ass, huh? Not too high on the cheek now, nice and low.” She leaned over, sticking out her round butt. When the patron gave a smack loud enough for every table to hear, the performer snapped straight again with a surprised hoot. “That’s how I like it! Haha, and Rule Three, let’s go!” She gestured grandly, long sleeves swaying.

The veteran audience chorused, “If you see something you like, make some noise!”

The three performers gathered in front of the curtain again and struck a sexy pose that showed off cleavage, thighs, and arched spines. The crowd made a good ruckus of whistling and applause, the X-Force gang included.

The show continued - there was an opening group number, the drag queen from the entrance sang a parody cover of a popular love song, there were a few aerial silks numbers, and of course classic burlesque striptease. Domino and Wade had gotten comfortable quickly, cheering and applauding each performer like they were the sexiest they had ever seen. Colossus took a while to loosen up, but even he enjoyed the athletic fluidity of the silks performers. Strength, flexibility, and making it all look beautiful with a big showgirl smile? Gold star in Colossus’s book. Each performer had gotten a funny and colorful introduction by the drag queen, who was emceeing most of the show.

“Our last lady of the night,” the queen teased, “has a slither that’ll make you shiver and she has NOOO idea how to just SIT in a chair!” The crowd chuckled. The drag queen bobbed her head and gave a wide flourish, “Just make sure you check for fangs before you kiss her - it’s Liiiiz Lugosiiii!!!!” The crowd hollered and clapped as the curtain drew back, revealing the pink wigged woman with the black satin robe.

Something steamy and full of saxophone blared over the sound system as Y/N, aka Liz Lugosi, swirled her robe - and disappeared. She reappeared a few feet away in a puff of smoke, similar to Colossus’s friend Kurt. As Liz Lugosi swirled, floated, and poofed around the stage, Colossus couldn’t help but note that where Kurt’s ability was abrupt like popping a balloon full of smoke, Y/N was smooth and soft, like drips of ink in water. A simple folding chair was on the stage, and in another few beats, Liz let her robe slide from her shoulders, down her back, and onto the floor. Domino glanced over at Cable and saw his face was relaxed in a gentle smile, eyes shining in the light.

Liz Lugosi turned to the front - and revealed that she appeared to be wearing nothing but black and purple rhinestones. Of course, her thong and pasties were there, but they matched her skin tone and the stones and beads had been carefully stitched and glued to cover them. The crowd screeched their appreciation. Wade yelled, “Holy shit!” but Cable barely even registered it.

“How did you find out about this?” Colossus asked him.

Cable answered without taking his eyes off Y/N, “I followed her to rehearsal once, to see where she goes.”

The stage floor filled with rolling fog as Liz Lugosi tossed her pink waves and slid over the chair so her chest was on the seat and her legs arched over her head. The rest of her routine was a series of acrobatic rolls and stands on and around the chair. Just when it looked like she would sit normally, she would turn and suddenly she was upside down, nearly sitting her butt on her head, with her legs in a deep split.

“Is that a mutation?” Domino asked, astounded.

“No,” Cable beamed, absolutely smitten, “she can just do that.”

Wade clapped for a particularly unexpected roll off of the chair. “I can’t believe she’s been holding out on us!”

Colossus agreed, smiling despite the awkwardness of seeing a coworker mostly naked for the first time, “You can tell how much she’s enjoying herself.”

As her number ended, Liz Lugosi bowed, dramatically tossing her pink waves. The team cheered louder than any other table and drew her attention. If she was caught by surprise, she didn’t let it show, maintaining her stage persona. She swayed her wide hips over to their table, and made the rounds expressing her thanks. She kissed Colossus on the cheek and left a red print on his chrome skin, though he froze when her boobs touched his arm. Domino soaked it up when she got a kiss on the cheek too. Wade didn’t get a kiss until he laid his palms on the table, and he all but squealed with delight. Cable, subdued and a little sheepish, offered the roses when she got to him. Instead of kissing his cheek, she pressed her lips to his and made it steamy enough that the crowd hooted and whistled louder than ever.

Y/N pulled away and teased in Cable’s ear, “Do I need to learn to cover my tracks better?”

“Aw, I hope you never do,” he was still grinning like a fool, “I’ve been wanting to bring you flowers for a while.”

She pulled away and she was Liz Lugosi again. Bouquet cradled against her heart, she winked and sashayed back to the stage to pick up her robe. The curtain closed, and Cable didn’t even try to hide how light and pleased he felt after getting to kiss the woman he’d been quietly pining after for months.