#and i'm worried that NONE of the scholarships i have applied to/am currently applying to will do so

[fridayyy-13th]

anyone else up trying not to think too hard about the future or is it just me haha

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying that my boyfriend would deserve it if he died in the Titan submersible implosion?

I figure it's far enough out from the argument itself now that I can post this. I (27M) and my boyfriend (29M) come from very different backgrounds.

He grew up in a wealthy family. His family isn't, like, billionaire rich--his father is a semi-prestigious actor--but they can, for example, eat at michelin star restaurants on a regular basis, pay for all their kid's ivy league educations, drop thousands of dollars on an impromptu trip to Europe for no reason, and so on and so forth. Which, like, good for them! Genuinely, I'm glad my partner and his family did not struggle with money growing up.

I, on the other hand, grew up in poverty. I didn't have any formal schooling until I got my GED and enrolled in college. I grew up food insecure, living in a very poor area, and frequently had periods of time where my family could not afford to pay our bills. I was extremely lucky to be able to go to college, and I only managed to pay for it due to spending basically all of my free time either working or applying for every niche scholarship I could find. Even now, several years into my career, I pretty much live off of rice and lentils so I can pay rent.

All this to say: Neither of us would consider ourselves pro-corporation or billionaire, but my boyfriend is sometimes more sympathetic to wealthier individuals due to his background. We do not currently live together, which is not because of the aforementioned, but is relevant.

A while back, my boyfriend's grandfather came to stay with his parents. His grandfather was, at the time, not feeling well--coughing, sneezing, the works. He pretty obviously had COVID. Nevertheless, my boyfriend took the 4 hour drive to spend time with him, and wouldn't you know it, he got sick. He stayed at his parents house until he got better. I decided not to make the drive to see my boyfriend, and stayed at my apartment. This is because I am immunocompromised and would prefer not to. Y'know. Die.

While my boyfriend was out, the whole debacle with the Titan submersible occurred, which I kept an eye on and made some memes about. A couple days after they found the wreckage, my boyfriend became coherent enough to have a phone conversation. While talking to him, I told him the story of what happened, the details about the submarine, the $250k ticket price, and so on.

He seemed indifferent until I brought up the 19 year old on board. He then seemed very upset, especially when he found out the kid didn't want to go in the first place. I tried to assure him that most of the memes were not about the kid, but he was having none of it. He seemed very sad, and said something along the lines of "I hope I don't go out like that."

I was confused. I didn't think his parents were so rich they would be able to afford that, but I figured it was just a hypothetical. My boyfriend has a big fear of death, and I often need to reassure him about things like this. "Well," I replied, "If you're worried about that, I can assure you that's an easy death to avoid. Just don't do dumb shit like that."

He then got VERY upset. "What do you mean??? Are you saying I'd deserve to die like that???"

Me: "I mean, that's not what I was saying? But you're not 19, you're almost 30, and you're not financially dependent on your parents. Also, your parents aren't nearly that rich, and even if they were, I know them, and they are not nearly that stupid. So, at that point, to get into that situation, you would need to personally drop $250k on a ticket, then weld yourself inside of an experimental deep sea submarine controlled via text message and an xbox controller. Like, there are several steps you personally could have Not taken to avoid being in this situation, including simply not deciding to be on an underwater death trap. So, yeah, that'd be on your head."

He then got even MORE upset, and started yelling about how insensitive I was being. After some back and forth, I got it out of him that he had been speaking metaphorically--that, from his perspective, I was saying that I thought he deserved to die of COVID, because he had made the choice to spend time with his grandfather despite knowing he had COVID.

I assured him that no, that was not what I was saying in the slightest, and he calmed down, but I was still upset. He had been yelling at me, after all, and it legitimately didn't occur to me that he was speaking metaphorically, while I was still on the very literal experimental submarine.

I asked one of my friends/his other partner (30M) about it after it happened, and he laughed and said that my boyfriend was being ridiculous. It's been several months at this point, it was a silly argument, I'm not going to bring it up again (because that would be weird) and I'm sure he's forgotten all about it. That said, if I'm being honest, I still feel kind of indignant that he immediately assumed I was secretly hoping he was going to die in a submarine. Am I being insane here?

What are these acronyms?

[nerves-nebula]

Oh wow, that sounds really cool that you're in such a prestigious school! Especially since they paid you to go too, that's really great. If I could help with research I would, I love learning new things :]

If this isn't too odd/big an ask (and if it is, don't worry about answering!) how do you get to a point where a school would pay you to go?

I'd love to go to college or university, but I have to work rn to try and save up and something like that might be the difference between going broke or not. Alas I haven't anyone that'd cover the charges, I've been encouraged not to go to school actually. I graduated high school with a (grade 12) 96% average if that means anything?

most of my projects aren't super research heavy, except for a history class, where I've gotta research a Japanese designer called Tadanori Yokoo. But I'm focusing on other stuff right now. Got a lotta poster presketches and drafts due next week.

I'm from the USA, so this might not be any help at all if you're outside of it. Which you might be, since you called it "grade 12" and I don't think I've heard anyone in the states call it that.

Anyway, here's my wayyy too long ramble about it:

short answer to how I personally got money from art schools is that I had a good portfolio and got accepted. But really, it ultimately depended on the schools financial aid budget.

I got accepted to every art school I applied too, and most offered me some money, whether that be a scholarship or in the form of financial aid. But like I said before, none were enough for me to actually go, since my family is kinda poor.

BUT the school I'm going to right now is rich enough to basically give any students who are poor but got accepted a huge discount on tuition. Or just completely drop tuition entirely and only charge us for room and board, as well as some other fees like health insurance or w/e.

But you also have to take out student loans, because the school doesn't just wanna give you money for FREE.

And that all depends on how much money you or the person supporting you makes. And even then, they expected my mom to be able to contribute way more than she was able to.

Actually, I don't think she helped pay for my first year at all. That's why I worked at McDonalds for a while before school started, so I'd have at least the first few payments ready. I ended up having to ask my dad for money (he doesn't give my mom money to spend on us anymore cause she can't be trusted LMAO), as well as using all $2,000 of an outside scholarship I won exclusively on monthly payments. So "expected" contribution is still a pretty rough estimate on the schools part.

this is all to say it was a really annoying process and I'm currently racking up a ton of debt. Which I might not have to worry about cause my girlfriend gets paid a lot and said with her salary she could probably pay it off in no time.

So let it be known that despite my struggles I am in an extremely privileged position by having someone who I can reliably have help me with college payments.

and that's not even touching on non-art focused colleges. I have NO idea how they decide who gets what money. As far as free/low cost college goes, I think most people's only chance is to get some kind of scholarship, take out a lot of loans and commit yourself to debt, or see if your states community college has more affordable tuition. I mean, if your lucky your state might even have FREE community college.