#and i'm such a “9 hours every night” bitch

[beneathsilverstars]

ok i queued up copies of all my thoughts from twitter, plus enough fanart to alternate btwn textpost and reblog.... now i HAVE to go to bed

[4thbrighteststar]

I wish I could listen to in between gracie abrams but it makes me genuinely actually sick to my stomach nauseous

[aakeysmash]

college!sukuna lives literally next door. you live in one of those apartment complexes where you rent a room and then have a common kitchen, bathroom and stuff with your almost-roommates inside of a bigger complex made of apartments just like yours, for students only.

if it wasn't for his 9 year old brother yuuji, who casually lives across from your room (wasn't this place for college students?) and is the literal definition of a ray of sunshine, you'd hate his guts. sure, he's hot for a guy who looks like he's failing half of his classes and makes sure you hear every single one of the girls he brings into his room at night, but he's still a major pain in your ass.

"where the hell do you think you're going?" he tells his brother, leaning on his door, arms crossed. the child is rushing to put his shoes on and zipping his sweater up.

"yn said she's going to take me running!" he responds grinning, tripping on his own feet from how excited he is before softly knocking on your door, all while sukuna looks at him raising one eyebrow.

"i'm starting to think you like her more than me, brat," he grits out just as you get out.

"oh he does, he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying it," you rub in his face without sparing him a glance. he huffs and rolls his eyes, really wanting to punch you in the face. you ignore him and smile at yuuji, getting at his eye level.

"ready? whoever gets tired last will be the first player tonight in mario kart," you say wiggling your eyebrows.

"deal!" he squeals happily before running out the door. you know he's going to wait for you, he's a good kid, he's not going to run away. he's more mature than any 9 year old should be.

"y'know, if you needed some cardio you could've come in my room," sukuna tells you coming closer and looking you up and down. you have this cute set on that is making him salivate, but he still maintains some kind of distance.

"on my dead body, itadori senior," you lightly push him out of the way and go back into your room to get your bag.

"come on, i'll even push your head in the sheets so as not to look at your annoying ass face," he remarks, and you shoot him a dirty glance. he flips you off.

"can you talk about something that doesn't make me want to rip my ears off?" you mumble while searching for your house keys.

"i can talk about how i'll break your neck if you don't bring back my brother in two hours, if you want," he says, looking at you from the doorway, bored.

"he still likes me more."

"when you get home there will be another lock, bitch."

[byechristopher]

Quiet.

– MATT STURNIOLO SMUT.

Author's note: Y'ALL. Shout-out to my Matt girls. This is my first Matt fic ever. I love everything about this fic – I love when women get ready when their crush MIGHT be there, I fucking love petnames and I feel like Matt definitely uses a lot too, I love movie nights and Matt would definitely finger his girl under the covers, I love dom but gentle Matt. I love it. Bye. Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: long and filthy smut. Minors dni! Semi-public?, fingering, petnames, dom!Matt. Didn't proofread!

"So, can you swing by?" I hear my friend's voice through the phone.

"Absolutely. Heading to the market in a bit, grabbing some beers, and I'll be at your place by 9PM. Sound good?" I reply, rummaging through every drawer to find my wallet.

"Perfect, babes. See you there!" she says. After exchanging greetings, I hang up, sliding my phone into the back pocket of my pants.

Considering Matthew freaking Sturniolo will be there, I'm already dressed with makeup on, not wanting to waste a single second; I aim to be there ASAP.

Not that I'm trying to impress Matt (yes I am), but there's been a thing between us (I refuse to call it a "situationship") since we all started hanging out. I've been part of that friend group for nearly two years now, and from the moment I joined, Matt started being quite flirty. And ever since then, we just casually flirt, make-out, have sex.. very casual.

Now, after a few weeks of not seeing each other (though we talk on the phone almost daily), I want to be my best self. I've done my skincare, enjoyed a three-hour-long bath, styled my hair in loose curls, put on comfy clothes – the whole shebang. If I've done this for nothing, I'll scream. Internally.

None of this matters now, because I am outside my friend's apartment, clutching the paper bag of beers in one hand and my scarf in the other one. I knock on the door, patiently waiting but instead of my friend, of course it's Matt who opens it, dressed in his signature black hoodie, black jeans, his usual chain dangling around his neck and his usual rings decorating his fingers. He looks.. delicious.

"Didn't expect me to open the door." it's more of a statement than a question, so I smile and nod.

"Not really, no." I chuckle, not moving an inch.

"You told me you'd be here by 9. So I'm here." he says with that captivating voice, taking a step closer, slowly pulling the door handle without closing it.

Cupping my cheek, he moves in, rubbing my bottom lip with his thumb, gently 1smudging my lipgloss before leaning in for a kiss. I release my scarf to grab his free hand, tugging on his fingertips as I reciprocate the kiss.

"You look pretty." he whispers against my lips and I smile.

Before entering, I pause him, rubbing his lips with my thumb to remove my lipgloss from them. Chuckling at his knowing stare, I say, "come on, let's go!" gently pushing him inside.

God help me, he smells amazing.

After greeting everyone and putting the beers inside the fridge, I take off my scarf and my coat, heading to the kitchen again so I can help with the snacks and the beers.

"Guys, I'm sorry in advance but you're probably going to freeze your ass off. Something's wrong with the heating so I'll just give y'all a ton of blankets." our friend apologises but we all brush it off.

"Bitch, we used to hang out in dark alleys in WINTER when we were younger, literally shut up. We can take it." another friend says, rolling her eyes and I laugh. We are all living the same lives, it seems.

After deciding which movie we will watch, with the snacks and the drinks on the table and the blankets ready to provide us with warmth, we were finally ready. I did have my eye on Matt so of course, when he patted the spot next to him on the small settee while looking at me with a smile, I almost ran to make sure I secure my place next to him.

The movie has started already, Matt is sitting next to me and we have two blankets covering us – his hand is on my thigh and my thigh is over his leg. His thumb is rubbing my leg through my pants and it's much more distracting than I could ever imagine. I do make sure to curl up against his side and he smiles, making sure the blankets are covering me properly.

Not even fifteen minutes have passed and I already feel the need to pee; that goddamn wine. I excuse myself and practically run to the bathroom, only to come back a few minutes later to see Matt almost laying on that settee. All the lights are closed but I know he can kind of see my reflection because of the big TV screen, so he can see the question marks all over my face – where the hell am I gonna seat?

He smiles and he pushes the blankets to the side, sitting up a bit and spreading his legs so I can sit in between them.

Well, fuck.

Sitting down in between his legs, I grab his thighs to support myself and make sure my whole back is pressed against him, leaning back to practically lay on his chest. I pull the blankets over us and he pecks the top of my head, almost as if it was a reward.

Seeing where all of this is going, I thank whoever is up there because our friends are quite far from us, all fully facing the TV. Matt quickly wraps his arms around my waist, resting them on my belly and I can feel how cold his hands are even through my shirt. Minutes go by and I can feel Matt playing with my shirt, his cold fingertips already touching my bare skin, raising goosebumps on it. He drags his short fingernails up and down my sides, making me smile because he knows I like that.

His hands slowly drag themselves up, pulling my shirt over my chest, my breasts now free, "love when you're not wearing a bra." he whispers in my ear and I chuckle.

My hands are on his knees and his hands are on my breasts, cupping them and caressing them, pressing small kiss on my neck, "you smell amazing.." he whispers, "do you think you can be quiet for me, pretty?" he pecks the tip of my ear.

"Yes, Matt.." I whisper back, getting comfortable on his chest, still pretending to watch that movie.

His hands are massaging my breasts, rubbing and pinching my nipples with his long fingers, tugging on them every now and then – it is hard to keep quiet but I've done this many times, I'm sure I can handle it.

Sitting with bent knees now, he hums, pressing another rewarding kiss on the top of my head, "keep playing with your tits for me, hm? I'm gonna take care of you." he whispers and I want to moan just by the words he says.

I nod and cup my breasts instead, massaging them gently as I feel his hands moving down to my thighs – he massages them and spreads my legs open gently, placing his legs on my feet to keep my legs in place. I feel his fingertips hooking around the waistband of my pants and panties, gently pulling them down as I slowly raise my hips to make it easier for him.

"You have to be very quiet now, okay?" he says and I immediately nod, desperately needing him to touch me there, "tease your nipples. I want to see you struggling." he chuckles, keeping me close to him.

I gently hit his leg and he can't help but laugh – I keep teasing my nipples, just like he ordered, keeping my eyes to the television even though I can feel his fingers dangerously close to where I need him the most. Finally, one of his fingers gently touch my clit, rubbing in circle motions as his breath fans over my ear together with the softest moans. I can feel him dragging his finger down, only to chuckle at how wet it is down there – I almost whine.

"God, I wanna taste you. You're so wet." he whispers and circles my entrance, collecting my juices and focusing back on my clit.

"Matty.. please.." I whisper back, my hands now leaving my sensitive breasts, grabbing his thighs instead.

"Please what, sweetheart?" he says and gently slaps my pussy, making me gasp softly.

I couldn't speak – all I can think about is his fingers inside of me. But I feel like if I open my mouth now, I won't be able to keep my moans in. I buck my hips, needing to feel more pressure on my clit but he's having none of it. He pushes my hips down and flicks my clit in the softest way possible, which makes me want to cry.

"You know how it goes. Use your words." he uses two other fingers to spread my pussy, making it easier for him to rub my clit with his middle finger.

"Please.. Matty.. I need.. your fingers inside of me.." I beg between shaky breaths, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"See?" he kisses the side of my head, "there's my good girl." he says and just by that, I almost lose it. But then he finally pushes a finger inside of me and I have to cover my mouth with the blankets.

His middle finger pushes in and out of my wetness and I squeeze my eyes shut, really trying not to let out the moans that have been threatening to come out this whole time. His other arm is wrapped around me, keeping me in place as he rubs my clit and fingers me at the same time with his other hand.

"I'm going to add another finger, baby. I need you to keep that pretty mouth closed, yeah?" he warns – the hand that was gripping my waist is now keeping my mouth closed, I nod anyway.

He slowly takes his finger out and instead, he rubs my entrance with two fingers. He gently pushes and I wince softly in his hand, "you can take it, baby, shhh." he whispers and I really need to fucking moan now. He finally pushes both of his fingers inside of me and I want to cry from how good it feels. My nails dig into his thighs and luckily (for him), he's wearing jeans otherwise it would definitely leave a mark.

He starts moving them in and out, slowly, still covering my mouth under the blankets with his other hand as his lips move to my neck. He starts sucking on the skin, licking it and biting it as he pushes his fingers inside till he's knuckles-deep.

"I wish I could kiss you right now – the way you would moan into my mouth trying to kiss back, turns me on." he takes my earlobe in between his lips, gently sucking on it.

His fingers start moving at a much faster pace and I'm sure that if the TV wasn't this loud, everyone would hear the noises my pussy makes from how wet he made me. He curls his fingers inside of me and I close my eyes, really struggling to keep my mouth closed now, "pretty girl. Do you think you can take a third finger?"

I wrap my fingers around his wrist and slowly move his hand away from my mouth, letting him know I have my moans a little bit under control now (not even close), "please, Matt.. I need it.." I whisper, my voice is trembling. Still, I grab his free hand and pull it closer to me, taking a finger into my mouth and I can feel his bulge against my back.

"Darling, don't do that.." he warns, "or I'll have to fuck you in front of everyone." he whispers and bites my neck.

Finally, he's pushing a third finger inside and I really need to cry. He's finger-fucking me at a fast pace, he's being rough but gentle at the same time, it's overwhelming, "touch yourself, baby. And don't stop."

I quickly move my free hand, rubbing my own clit gently as he fucks me with force – I am so close and he knows it, I can feel myself clenching around his fingers.

"Matty.. Matt.. fuck, I'm – please.." I am almost completely under the covers because I can try to keep my moans in, but my expression definitely cannot be hidden.

"Are you going to cum for me, baby? Come on. Come on my fingers." he's so gentle when he speaks but his fingers are merciless, and that contrast is what drives me over the edge.

"That's it, baby.. that's it." he whispers and I finally cum, trembling a little but I try not to make it so obvious.

He takes his fingers out slowly, caressing my legs in order for me to calm down before he brings them close to his mouth, licking them clean, "when this movie is over, you're leaving with me. I'm eating you out in my car."

He drives me crazy.

[willownwisp]

ree's leon valentine's day advent <3

hi everyone. <3 as the leon kennedy fluff truther, i'm making an advent for valentine's day because pookie deserves so much love! everyday, i'll be posting a fic ranging from nsfw/sfw fluff for babu leon, i'll be putting out the scenarios and snippets below if y'all are interested. author's note: i've been meaning to put this out like a week ago when i finally figured out the problem w my account as to why tumblr wasn't letting me reply to comments :( but sadly, college got me so head empty. anyway, i've already got 2 days worth of fics already finished so i hope y'all can give me a read. <3

FEBRUARY 8 𖹭 nice legs, daisy dukes. (vendetta!leon x fem!reader) Leon feels like a creep, fuck that. He definitely looks like a creep. Thirty-six year old in all of his 5'11 glory standing outside his girlfriend's college leant against his Ducati like a dick, carrying a box of those, instagrammable pastries you always like to look at. It doesn't hurt to be sweet. Not when you walk — run, at the sight of him in your preppy mini dress, highlighting those long, long legs. Nothing is sweeter, especially when it's wrapped around him.

FEBRUARY 9 𖹭 starry skies, blue eyes. (re4r!leon x fem!reader) Stars dot stygian skies, the night is young, the moon is high. Leon's heart soars with your every laughter. The way your eyes close and your nose scrunches. God he was so in love with you, he could forgive the fact that the tent should have been up hours ago before night. You swear you remember your knots from your wide-eyed Girl Scout days, and he swears these silly moments with you are what makes life bearable.

FEBRUARY 10 𖹭 cold woes. (re4r!leon x fem!reader) Leon S. Kennedy. The apple of his instructors' eyes (and yours), he's a top graduate in the Police Academy for fuck's sake. He's decimated hordes of zombies in his first day as a rookie cop. Endured military training in the middle of nowhere, he's saved the President's daughter. He doesn't get sick. Only that he does catch a cold at the expense of prioritizing you, his clumsy girlfriend, who forgot to wear a jacket on a camping trip, offering his warm clothes to you. He doesn't regret it, he likes taking care of you, but there's something adorable about your sheepish apologies as you wait on him. He could get used to being babied. FEBRUARY 11 𖹭 love on me. (di!leon x fem!reader) As much as Leon loves the sun, the beaches, the tropics. Oh what he would give to become a beach bum in his next life instead of being smacked by bioweapons day in, night out, and being a good bitch to good ol' U.S of A. Unfortunately, after the events of Alcatraz, maybe he's had enough of the sea for now. He gives himself a pat on the back, takes out a chunk of his savings to go to Japan because you've been eyeing it. You said you were interested in the food, culture, and sights. So why in the world were you dragging him to a love hotel? FEBRUARY 12 𖹭 fill up your cup. (re6!leon x fem!reader) He feels himself spiraling recently, turning to the bottle because a glass is never troubled by his woes. He breaks them of course, can't help it, seems like his life is doomed to him breaking in the end. Fragments of glass scatters on the floor, vodka spills on the floor splashes it around like his grief because his body can only take so much. You arrive as he tries to pick them up, attempts to pick himself up. You whisper assurance, he doesn't deserve it. The way you look at him ardently, the gentleness that is your existence. You empty out his pain, and fill it with love. FEBRUARY 13 𖹭 the thrill, the love. (damnation!leon x fem!reader) He wills his old Yamaha to go faster. Your dainty arms clinging to him, the softness of your touch as his speed breaks the sound barrier. What started as mere curiosity turns into rituals. Secrets that only the both of you know. He knocks on your door at midnight, drives you around town. He scolds you every time your arm breaks free, throwing them to the wind. You don't care, you love the thrill, you love him. Leon admits that there is something alluring to the thrill of the chase. Perhaps that's why he's spent his years chasing Ada, but with you it was different. FEBRUARY 14 𖹭 kiss it better. (di!leon x fem!reader) Leon is a man full of stories, his pain, his peace, his fears, his needs. There is more to him than just being a formidable weapon against bioterrorism. He never was a weapon, just a flesh and blood human, and in his mortality there are scars. Deep within him, and littered in his skin. You kiss the faded slash on his hand, he tells you how he'd got it from when Ashley Graham had tried to stab him under the influence of the plaga. You kiss it again, and what he doesn't tell you is the wave of warmth that washes his entire being, it tugs on his very soul. You kiss the scars because it's there, because it's him, and in his reverie, he thinks you truly are his person.

[osaemu]

・𖠗 EMAILS I CAN'T SEND EVENT !

with songs featuring gojo, geto, dazai, chuuya, and childe !

BEFORE YOU LISTEN . . .

careful, there's gonna be some pretty mature themes headin' in . . . sex, cheating, overthinking, y'know, the usual. it's hard being hot !

WHAT'S THE ALBUM ABOUT ?

well, i heard some guys from jujutsu kaisen, bungo stray dogs, and genshin impact are involved in the drama, maybe you know them !

TRACK 9: NONSENSE "baby i'm in too deep, here's a lil' song i wrote, it's about you and me"

꒰ pop star!reader x secret lover!gojo

being a pop star is tough, and maintaining a relationship alongside it is even harder. good thing you have a boyfriend to share the nights with, but what happens when those night-time specials start seeping into your daytime routine?

TRACK 10: FAST TIMES "tiptoeing past so many stages, but what the fuck is patience?"

꒰ coworkers with benefits ft. pm boss!chuuya

being a mafia boss is hard, and the stress that comes with it could kill. so, your boss's solution is to take it out on his pretty little secretary — you. one thing leads to another, and soon it becomes a regular thing. it's okay, it's not like he's gonna fuck you during work hours, right?

TRACK 11: SKINNY DIPPING "if we could take it all off and just exist, and skinny dip in water under the bridge"

꒰ break up –> make up ft. criminal!geto

when you found out he wasn't who he said he was, you dumped him on the spot, and after that you didn't see him for nineteen days. so what happens on the twentieth day when you run into him at your local coffee shop, and how did it end with his dick in your mouth?

TRACK 13: DECODE "you're good at impersonating someone who cares, and you had me for a minute there"

꒰ actor!reader x actor!dazai

your co-star is known for his acting prowess, and maybe he's just a little too good, because even when the lights are down and no cameras in sight, you can never seem to figure out if he means what he says. even when he's drunk in your sheets, every word seems carefully calculated to get something out of you — who knows what he wants?

TRACK 15: FEATHER "your signals are mixed, you act like a bitch, you fit every stereotype, send a pic"

꒰ it girl!reader x fuckboy!gojo

you're everything, and he's just another fuckboy. but even though he's the biggest dickhead you've ever met, you can't deny that he's very, very attractive. so what happens when you have one too many drinks and end up moaning his name all night long?

TRACK 16: LONESOME "did you think about her face with your hands around my waist? did you even give a fuck?"

꒰ exes with benefits ft. fuckboy!childe

you probably shouldn't still sleep with the boy who ruined your life, but hey, he's the only one who knows how to fuck you just right. even if he made you cry for a week straight, you'd rather be crying out his name than wallowing in self-pity at home. and it's not like you're gonna get back together with him, are you?

TRACK 17: THINGS I WISH YOU SAID "i saw you met somebody and i'm jealous as hell, that i can't even stomach loving somebody else"

꒰ cheating ft. ex boyfriend!dazai

maybe it's wrong to cheat on your current boyfriend with your ex, but you never moved on and apparently, neither did he. and shit, he's just as skillful with his words as ever, so just one night wouldn't hurt, right?

SO, WHEN CAN I HEAR THE STORIES ?

well, hannah'll tell you whenever she feels like it, but who knows what order she's whisper them to you in ? it'll be a surprise ~

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN THE STORY'S OUT ?

there's no taglist or anythin', but you can check back here to see if anything's leaked yet ! ++ maybe follow hannah and her tag, 'cause she said she'll post updates there . . . #✧ — emails i can't send

have fun listening! reblogs very appreciated xoxo –> signed, hannah

[sturnlova]

Clingy

( Sub Chris Sturniolo x Female reader )

( Warning : Smut, time skips, kinda new to writing, not proof read all the way, pet names, i might stop putting warnings i never know what to do 😭 )

Chris : Orange

Y/N : Pink

Matt : Blue

Nick : Purple

( Word count : 1k )

——————————————————

Chris had been super clingy to his brothers and me.

Chris had been incredibly annoying to Nick and Matt, often following them about like a shadow, talking to them, holding hands, resting his head on their shoulders, and doing pretty much anything to be close to them.

He had also been extremely fussy toward me, constantly toying with my fingers, caressing the corner of my lips, whispering to me, and giving me tight hugs as though I would soon pass away.

I wasn't bothered by it at all, but I was curious as to why he suddenly become such a submissive person.

-

On a Thursday night at 9:30 p.m., the triplets were supposed to be home by now because they were filming, but they stayed at home instead because Chris insisted on filming with me, claiming he wouldn't be able to handle even a minute of being without me.

Nick, Matt, and I looked at Chris strangely, wondering why he was so clingy in front of his brothers.

He was known to get clingy, but his brothers had never seen him act this clingy , especially in front of him.

"What the fuck is your problem, you can hang out with Y/N after we film."

"Chris, stop acting like a baby. Why are you acting this way?"

"Okay guys, get off his dick."

I whispered in Chris’ ear to go film and then we can have a talk about what’s going on.

Chris nodded and walked behind his older brothers to go film a youtube video for his loyal fan base.

-

After recording for more than an hour, Chris and his siblings had finally arrived home at 11:17 p.m.

"Chris I'm going to go edit, and Y/N Chris is acting like a jerk. He spoke about you almost every time he opened his mouth, and when he didn’t it was always criticism.”

“Come on, baby, let's go to the room to talk”

"All right."

With my hand clasped around his, Chris muttered something under his breath as we made our way to his room.

"Chris, what's wrong? Why are you acting so needy?" I didn't want to come off as mean to Chris so i spoke very softly.

Chris simply shrugged his shoulders and pulled at the bed sheets, sighing with humiliation.

“I don’t know if just feel like i wanna be told what to do and be told to cum a-and i don’t know.”

it all started to make sense why he was acting like this, he just wanted to get fucked like a submissive bitch.

I looked at Chris because usually Chris has been dom, i didn’t mind being sub if anything i would love to tell Chris when to cum or what to do more often.

-

There were black Calvin Klein boxers, white shirt, and grey sweatpants strewn all over the place.

My nose struck Chris's pelvis and I gagged as my mouth was on his dick, moving up and down to make sure I got everything in my mouth.

"MM fuck mummy, it feels so good, please let me cum in your mouth, it feels so good."

"Go ahead, angel."

He then completed that. I felt his thick, white ropes slide down my throat, and I opened my mouth to tell him I had swallowed everything.

"Im sorry for being annoying to you; thank you for helping me ma.”

"You haven't been annoying, but I'm not finished. You said that you want commands, so I will give you that. I’m gonna ride you okay?"

“Okay”

Before long, all of my clothes were on the ground, and I was riding Chris while positioned on top of him and gripping the head of the bed with my hands.

"Open"

Chris gave me a strange look but followed my instructions. I inserted two fingers and told him to suck, and he did.

With a loud plop, I removed my fingers from his lips and placed them on my clit, applying just enough pressure to push me over the brink.

"I can feel you twitching, fuck Chris. Are you going to cum with me, dirty slut? Irritating me and your brothers with your neediness, all for the sake of getting fucked like the filthy whore you are? You're going to come soon, but you won't come until I tell you to, okay?"

"Yes ma, i won’t cum until you tell me to i promise.”

Chris was sobbing a little bit because he had already came earlier and was now in severe need to cum again as soon as possible.

With my fluids streaming out of me onto Chris's tummy, I finished over him with my fingers moving more quickly over my clit.

"You can cum now pretty boy, Cum Chris."

I overstimulated myself by bouncing on him in order for him to finish.

As we experienced our climax, Chris let out an incredibly loud groan, "Ughh fuck MUMMY FEE- FEels sOO GOOD NGHH F-F-FUCK."

I asked him whether it was too much after giving him a full face-kiss.

“ i’m okay but seriously i am sorry for being annoying”

“ It’s okay baby do you wanna take a shower or just lay?”

“I’m tired can we just lay for a bit i don’t wanna move”

I nodded and laid there with him still in me to drift off to a deep slumber

-

After a long night, Chris and I showered and dressed before heading downstairs.

I said, "Good morning, guys" speaking for Chris and myself as he was still drowsy.

"Mummy, you guys had a great time last night?"

"What the fuck matt, unless you want to be kicked in the balls, don't call me mummy?"

"Don't fucking call her that Matt, or I'll kill you."

"I apologise Jesus, but did you enjoy calling Y/N mommy last night, Chris? You probably woke up everyone in the neighbourhood.”

"Fuck off"

I heard footsteps approaching the kitchen.

"Good morning, guys. Last night, I had the strangest dream. I dreamed that Chris was a little kid calling out for his mummy because he was hurt."

Everyone laughed except for Nick.

"Guys, what really is so funny?"

"Nothing, be at peace."

Chris and I watch iclary together on the couch to begin our day.

[elliesmainhoe]

Ellie Williams Headcanons: Ballerina!Reader

Ellie has a love hate relationship with you doing ballet.

For one, your graceful, beautiful, elegant and poised

On the other hand, your self-conscious, your always tired and she barely sees you because your always at the studio.

It was like ballet was stealing her girlfriend.

She has threatened to beat up your dance teacher before.

100% judges you when your lying on the kitchen floor smashing your pointe shoes on the floor trying to break them in.

"What the fuck are you doin' angel?" Ellie asked you when she entered the apartment and saw you stretching on the black-and-white chequered flooring that tiled your kitchen, while smashing your new point shoes- making them crack and snap in your hands.

"I'm" you grunt, compressing the satin shoe under your hands "breaking in my pointe shoes"

"Your breaking your pointe shoes? The new pointe shoes you bought yesterday"

"yep"

She was very confused

But dw you explained it to her ofc <3

Loves going into dance shops with you- watching as you start talking about all the different leotards, tutus and tights.

Her petnames for you are 'little dove, angel and flower.'

Loves picking you up from dance practice. She pulls up all confident in her nice fancy car, honking her horn when you leave the buildings.

All the bitches you've complained about to her looking at you in jealousy.

Ugh it's great.

Her giving you massages whenever you say that your muscles are achey.

It had been 6 hours of practice. Six. Fucking. Hours of other dancers messing up choreography, chatting shit and not taking the routine seriously.

It was infuriating. You loved dance, you loved ballet, you really did. But after a day of ruthless exercise and girls draining your social battery you just wanted to be at home with Ellie.

Ellie knew this of course. So as soon as you got home she had a bath ready for you, topped with bubbles and surrounded by candles. She made you your favourite food and had poured you a glass of red wine. And when you finally go to bed, she pulls up your favourite movie and massages all of your achey spots while cuddling with you.

She's such a sweetheart.

She loves seeing you perform!!

And she loves showing you off just as much!

Takes all her friends to opening night of every single show that you have.

Loves coming backstage after and spinning you in circles- your hair half undone and your face fresh but still wearing the white costume.

She pretends to not know anything about ballet because she knows how much you like explaining and talking about it with her

She actually know everything about it.

Her fave ballet is the nutcracker because that's my favourite and I said so.

---------

A/N: I did ballet for 9 years and God it traumatized me.

Taglist: @aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @prettypeoniesx @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @moonlighting87 @escaping-reality88 @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @ellieluhme @kiiyoooo @delusionalvioleht @joelscharm

NOT PROOFREAD

[canolaaoil]

To all my best friends, only twelve leagues and one text message away

1. Dearly Departed, Brockhampton. // 2. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion. // 3. unsent project. // 4. I am in Eskew. // 5. His dark materials. // 6. Where did you go? Hishaam Siddiqui. // 7. parts in motion, Vera Much. // 8. Your Name Engraved, Herein. 9. Hmu, spacegirl GEMMY.

Description follows

[ID: song lyrics reading, "What's the point of havin' a best friend if you / end up losin' him?" end ID]

[[ID: a photograph in the style of an early digital camera of two teenage girls cuddling under blankets on a couch watching something on a computer. end ID]

[ID: a poem reading, "Life changes fast. / Life changes in the instant. / You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. end ID]

[ID: a fuzzy photograph in the style of an early digital camera of three people huddled around a fridge. All of the people have brown hair, glowing golden from the lighting and only one of their faces is turned toward the camera. end ID]

[ID: a text entry on a pink background reading, "To: Harry I / i've written 43 / poems about you. / come back and i / won't have to write anymore. / -asle" end ID]

[ID: a photograph in the style of an early digital camera of a couple in a photobooth with only their feet and legs visible behind the curtain. one is sitting on the other's lap. ]

[ID: text reading, "The problem is, my love, is that I can't sustain the fact of your death. / I can convince myself that it's true, force myself to picture your rotting, ruined face dumped in a mass grave somewhere out in the world... / ...and then my phone buzzes and I'm still expecting an unexpected message from you, telling me what corner of the globe you've holed up in, the foods you're eating, the card-players you're outwitting." end ID]

[ID: a photograph of two people in an aquarium, shot from behind. they stand in front of a large window showing a tank of water and seaweed. the two pose as if dancing grandiosely with no one else around. end ID]

[ID: a paragraph reading, "And it was comforting to think she and Will had another thing in common. She wondered if there would ever come an hour in her life when she didn't think of him- didn't speak to him in her head, didn't relive every moment they'd been together, didn't long for his voice and his hands and his love. She had never dreamed of what it would feel like to love someone so much; of all the things that astonished her in her adventures, that was what astonished her the most. She thought the tenderness it left in her heart was like a bruise that would never go away, but she would cherish it forever." end ID]

[ID: a photograph from behind of a group of people walking together down a city street. two of the people have their arms around each other shoulders. another two link arms. the image is slightly blurry. end ID]

[ID: a couplet reading, "One day I woke up and we no longer spoke the / same language. I haven't heard from you since." end ID]

[ID: a photograph of two people, focused on one in the foreground. A young woman looks lovingly towards something out of frame, her face resting on the meat of her hand. In the background a man looks away towards another subject. The lighting is dreamy and yellow. end ID]

[ID: lyrics reading, "Show me it all / Tell me what's wrong / You got your hard drive stolen / Your phone's been broken / Play me a song off of mine / Show me it all / Show me a rise / Show me a fall / Pay me no mind / Paint me in gold / I don't mean to pry, but give me a call" end ID]

[ID: a gif from the movie 'Your Name Engraved Herein' of Birdy and A-han riding a motorbike through the streets at night. Both smile widely as they breeze along, Birdy sitting behind A-han with his shirt off over his head, yelling happily. End ID]

[ID: lyrics reading, "They say everything has reason / Life fluctuates like seasons / And maybe someday soon we'll both find our reason / But bitch you're still the bro / Never letting go / Of the friendship bracelets we made when we were twelve // I'll be waiting by my phone / For you to hit me up / For you to hit me up / Hit me hit me up" end ID]

[ID: a photograph of a plaque on an outside wall reading, "LIFE HAPPENS BUT I STILL CARE FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL." end ID]

[makemyworldworthliving]

Baby

Part 9: Emma

Larissa Weems x reader

Warnings: None.

Being Larissa Weems' girlfriend was definitely something you could get used to. You spent most of your mornings now waking up together, alternating between your place and hers. Larissa was an early riser, and she never failed to make sure you woke up to a beautiful breakfast and a coffee to die for. Today though, it would be different. The night before you set a silent vibrating alarm on your watch to wake you up bright and early. Too early you thought as you quietly slipped out of bed as to not wake Larissa. You close the door quietly to your kitchen and rub your eyes. 5 am, you had about an hour until Larissa would wake up. You started by making a strong coffee, which you desperately needed. After about 45 minutes of making an absolute mess of your kitchen, Larissas breakfast was ready. Fresh pancakes with her favourite fruits, and a healthy amount of syrup. You nod at the food in approval of your skills and place it on the small dining table.

You walk into your bedroom with a fresh hot coffee, made just the way Larissa liked it. You placed it down on the bedside table and sat by her gently, leaning down and placing a soft kiss to her forehead. ‘’Morning sleepy head’’ you say against the skin of her cheek. She smiles and opens her eyes slowly, before sitting up quickly. ‘’Y/N, what time is it?! How long have you been awake?! I’m late for-’’ you giggle and press a soft kiss to Larissas lips. ‘’Relax my love, it's only 6am. I got up early and made you your favourite breakfast. You’re always doing it for me and I wanted to make you feel as special as you make me feel every day.’’ you say with a smile. Larissa blushes and kisses you passionately, her hands resting on your cheeks. ‘’What did I ever do to deserve you, Y/N?’’ you laugh and stand up. ‘’You literally just existed, and i'm so thankful that you do, Larissa.’’ you both share a laugh and a smile, and before Larissa gets out of bed, there's a knock at the door. You and Larissa share a confused look. No one ever comes to your place, and especially not at 6am. You walk to your front door and open it so there's a small gap.

Your eyes widen and your mouth opens slightly, but you can't seem to find any words. You frown slightly and gather yourself. ‘’Emma? What.. What are you doing here?’’ Emma smiles awkwardly, shifting on her feet. ‘’I’ve moved back home and I.. I just wanted to see you.’’

You and Emma had dated for about 3 years, before one day she left without a single word. She was your first proper love and your first heartbreak, to this day you still weren't sure why she left the way she did.

You stared at her before opening the door wider, and crossing your arms against your chest. ‘’You really have some nerve just showing up like this, after all this time?’’ Larissa heard your raised voice and walked quietly to lean against the bedroom door so she could hear the conversation between the two of you. ‘’I know, I was a complete bitch and I owe you an explanation. Please, Y/N. Let me in so we can talk.’’ Emma pleads with you, stepping closer. You shake your head and stop her from entering your home. ‘’No, you don’t get to just come back and expect me to just welcome you in with open arms and listen to your sob story.’’ You raise your voice enough to cause concern to wash over Larissa.

Before Emma can respond Larissa walks out of the bedroom into the living room, wearing your dressing gown. She frowns at Emma on the other side of the front door and walks over to you, taking hold of your hand. ‘’Darling, who’s this?’’ She asks you with a sweet yet annoyed tone. Before you can answer Emma pipes up. ‘’I’m Emma, Y/N’s ex. I’ve come to apologise and-‘’ before she can continue Larissa is in front of her, towering over her. ‘’She doesn’t want you here, and we’re busy.’’ Larissa tries to slam the door but Emma stops it with her foot. ‘’I’m sure Y/N can speak for herself.’’ Emma snaps at Larissa. You want the ground to swallow you, you didn’t want to deal with this right now, or at all. You look up and the two women are looking at you, both waiting for an answer. You take a deep breath and walk back over to the door. ‘’Emma, you need to leave.’’ Larissa smirks at your words and turns to face Emma who is clearly very upset.

‘’Y/N please… I still love you.’’ Emma cries. Those words were enough for Larissa to finally slam the door in anger and jealousy. You sit down on the couch, head in your hands. Larissa sits down next to you. ‘’I think we need to talk, don’t we?’’ She asks, almost hesitant. You lock eyes with her and nod slowly, treading the uncomfortable conversation. Larissa sits back, still trying to control her breathing from the rage she just felt. You turn to face her, and take her hands in yours. ‘’Emma and I dated a few years ago, for about 3 years. From my point of view everything was fine… then one day I woke up and she was gone. No note, no explanation, nothing… I was absolutely crushed. I didn’t sleep or eat right for weeks, I just kept waiting for her to come back, until one day I finally realised she wasn’t going to.’’ You sigh.

‘’And now she has.’’ Larissa says quietly with tears in her eyes. You move closer to her and place your hand on her cheek. ‘’That doesn’t change anything between us, okay?’’ You reassure her. She smiles slightly but you can sense she doesn’t quite believe you. She clears her throat and stands up, making her way to the bedroom. ‘’What are you doing?’’ You ask. ‘’I’m going to head home, I… I need some time to think about what just happened.’’ Larissa says as she holds back the tears. A little while later Larissa comes out of your bedroom, dressed and her bag packed. You stand and walk her to your front door. ‘’Can I call you later?’’ You ask as you wrap your arms around her waist. Larissa just nods with a small smile before kissing your cheek softly and heads off home.

You walk back into your home and sit down at the dining table, starting at Larissa’s now cold, stale breakfast. You sigh and pick up your phone, already missing her. Your mind was racing. Why has Emma come back now? Why did she leave? You place your head in your hands, knowing you had a bumpy ride ahead.

(Sorry it’s a short one I’ve got a lot going on at the moment!! ❤️)

@gwenswifeyfr @imbiactuallyx

[acurlygirlamy1]

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

Moved to North Dakota this fall. We heard that summers are fun and winter is beautiful. We think there is no more beautiful a place in the whole world!

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.

This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God! I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but. they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob-who has a plow on his truck-for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago. She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then he comes down the street...at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents...but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to feed her through a chipper shredder.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $4,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ???

-Author Unknown

[floridaboiler]

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

Moved to North Dakota this fall. We heard that summers are fun and winter is beautiful. We think there is no more beautiful a place in the whole world!

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.

This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God! I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but. they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob-who has a plow on his truck-for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago. She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then he comes down the street...at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents...but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to feed her through a chipper shredder.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $4,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ???

-Author Unknown

[itchy-9884]

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

Moved to North Dakota this fall. We heard that summers are fun and winter is beautiful. We think there is no more beautiful a place in the whole world!

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.

This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God! I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but. they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob-who has a plow on his truck-for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago. She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24 - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then he comes down the street...at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents...but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to feed her through a chipper shredder.

December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $4,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ???

-Author Unknown😎

[avxoxo1]

Beaches? & Bitches!

[ Happy holidays, so enjoy this cheesey story] Ex Lovers AU! 2014

———————

On a radiant summer afternoon, she and Alex had been in Miami for a while, so they decided to head downtown for some beach time. Finding a spot, they began applying sunscreen. "My love, you're so gorgeous," Alex remarked, gazing at her with affection. Sunglasses in her hair, she couldn't stop smiling.

"Thank you, my love," she replied, ensuring she covered his entire face. "Here, let's switch," Alex suggested, taking the sunscreen and spraying her body. Admiring her, he pulled her close, rubbing in the sunscreen. "You're so beautiful," he spoke softly with an affectionate smile.

She kissed his cheek, completely taken by him. "Fuck, you taste like sunscreen, bleh," he laughed. "Let's go to the water! I've waited all day for this!" She ran to the water, looking back every five seconds to ensure he was behind her.

They were a beautiful pair, exactly what she wanted. Then, she woke up.

Heavy thunderstorms filled the sky, and the sound of thunder hit her ears. Glancing at the clock, it was 9:05 PM. She sighed, got out of bed, and her loyal cat followed her to the apartment balcony. "Why was it only a dream..."

"Why, why, why," she repeated, frustrated. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD, TURNER! OH MY GOD!" she screamed with uncontrollable anger that he never left her thoughts.

Looking down, she saw a familiar man with cigarette smoke around him from the building next to her. "Holy fuck," she whispered.

"ALRIGHT—" of course, it was Alex.

She dashed downstairs, still barely dressed, wearing a leather jacket. Experiencing an exciting déjà vu, she wondered why. When she reached him, she paused, looking at him in silence. "Hi," all she could bring herself to say.

Why? Why do I feel this way, she questioned. He looked shocked too. "Do you wanna maybe get a drink?" he asked, echoing the exact sentence from when they first met.

Entering a heated bar, she took off her leather jacket and placed it on her lap. "What's new?" he asked with a familiar grin.

"I'm going to get us drinks. Do you still drink the same beer?" she asked, getting up from her seat. "Yup," Alex replied.

"Hey, I want a blue moon and a rum and coke, light ice," she told the bartender. A random man grabbed her from behind. "Hey, cutie," he said. She turned back swiftly. "Hello? Do I know you?" she asked, leaning on the bar table. Alex quickly appeared behind him, a face screaming "I'm gonna murder you." The random man grabbed her hip. She sat on the table and gave him a hard kick on the chest. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he said, putting his hand on his chest. She giggled as Alex began to choke the man.

"Wow, Al, you forgot I can't fight for myself?" She continued to giggle as Alex screamed at the man. Eventually, she and Alex got kicked out of the bar, happily walking away, knowing that the man would be in jail for a few hours.

"So, you wanna like sleep at mine? I haven't changed it one bit since you left," Alex suggested. It was true; some of her old clothes were still there, and it smelled like home, with the lingering scent of her cat's fur.

"Well, it's like I never left," she said with a smile, getting a sense of déjà vu around the apartment. That night, it felt like she never left the apartment, tucking into bed with him.

She said, "I love you."

He said nothing back.

As they fell asleep, the sun was rising, leaving them together, pondering what it meant.

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A/N: Hey guys! This was horrificly cheesy but it has been in my drafts for weeks- I originally wanted to write about y/n & Alex at the beach [Specifically Miami beach since im floridian] but then I just went BOOM everywhere- Eventually ill write just y/n & Al at the beach when I get motivation.

Merry Christmas/ Feliz navidad/Maligayang Pasko [Multi language queen]

[mrsdesade]

1 character x 10 songs x 10 headcanons

The Corinthian (Sandman)

Songs that I think they might be perfect for Mr. Teeth for Eyes because of the lyrics or the vibes, I'm dropping here just because, maybe I can make you discovering new music? I also leave THE CORINTHIAN PLAYLIST I've created for him!

A Little Piece of Heaven - Avenged Sevenfold

Baby, don't cry.

You had my heart, at least for the most part. […]

Ripped her heart out right before her eyes.

Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it.

hc: The lyrics is self-explanatory I must say... the whole song is screaming his name and his love story with someone.

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2. Bite - Derivakat

Allow me just one little bite.

Eternity is so rewarding. [...]

Darling, stay with me.

These fangs are my only proposal.

hc: After many years of bonding and sharing feelings, he propose to you to share the eternity, trying to convince you to come to the dark side of being a nightmare like him.

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3. You and I - Aryia

The story begins with a boy and a girl,

she loved the way he was stronger than her

But that sick little fuck, no, he didn't stop.

He took away her voice as she screamed NO!

A killers mind behind the face of God,

The devil's disguise is the great facade.

Mistake manipulation for a thing like love.

Started with a kiss but ends in blood.

hc: Ouch, you got the bad ending, he had fun with you, but the story ends in blood and ofc no one can help you against him. You trusted him, but he just played with your feeling.

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4. JENNIFER'S BODY - Chris Grey, PLVTINUM & Dutch Melrose

She's out for revenge,

My baby she's out for revenge ah,

Her hands 'round my neck,

Fuck around and you might just be next.

I need to put my hands on Jennifer

Everybody runs away, but I run to her.

hc: You're deranged as him, that's what he likes about you. Sharing murders and crimes with his lovely half, what a dream for him. He loves watching and kissing you when you're covered in blood.

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5. Love Me To Death - Nikki Idol

Love me to death, baby.

Until the end.

You're romantic, diabolic, hypnotic.

You do it so right baby , you make me cry.

We're fucking so hard that we might call this art.

It's like a movie.

Sex, liquor, roses.

hc: What can I say, that's the kind of song that he's gonna play when you two are alone at night in the comfort of your bed. His touch is that of a devil in love, delicate as velvet, warm as a supernova, suffocating as cigarette smoke.

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6. Ride - Chris Gray

Lil baby wanna ride, in the backseat pull over the car.

No she don’t give a fuck if we’re caught,

Runnin’ my hand on her thigh.

She said “I’m all yours for the night”

She came for the ride.

Le'ts fell in love for just a night.

hc: This song is giving me city night vibes, the endless hours that you two have spent taking aimless road trip in his car, free and unregulated, always end with a night of passion. And he loves it so much, you've no idea.

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7. MASOCHIST - Ellise

It's bitter and sweet, oh, he's pretty and mean […]

My baby's a freak, yeah.

And I'm a masochist.

I'm stuck in his teeth, yeah.

There's poison on his lips, 'cause the bad ones love you better.

hc: Impossible not to fall for him, you accepted being his property and somehow saved your life... what you don't say is that you're having maybe too much fun in this dangerous situation.

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8. Eat your Young - Hozier

I'm starving, darling,

Let me put my lips to something,

Let me wrap my teeth around the world,

Start carving, darling.

hc: Quite obvious as a choice, but the text speaks for itself. In a courtship he would be really sly, he would make you feel extremely flattered and desired, the outcome will then depend on how interesting you can be for him.

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9. DANCE! Till We Die - 6arelyhuman

I wanna dance until we die, bitch I'm blinded by the lights

Yeah we do this every night!

Swear to God, I'm living fast, but everything movin' slow.

Wanna lock into my eyes, see the Devil, that's inside.

hc: He can hunts victims also in nightclubs, because he find it fun, and this song takes me back to scenes like that. Imagine dancing with him in the disco lights and being unaware that you are so close to the most dangerous predator in the city.

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10. Mary on a Cross - Ghost

We were searching for reasons.

To play by the rules,

But we quickly found,

It was just for fools.

[…]

Your beauty never ever scared me.

hc: Predictably I couldn't leave this song out, the final phrase makes me weak for happy ending with him. When you discovered the secret behind his glasses, instead of running away you stopped to observe better, with sincere curiosity, caressing his cheeks in a caring way.

That's all for now! Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to suggest more characters, when I'm done with my comfort characters I'll be delighted to please you with music about yours 🤍

[icarusj]

I'm literally so sick right now and I haaaaaate it. I feel awful and gross and my brain is being extra mean.

It's been 9 ish hours since I originally made this post and I somehow feel worse? Everything from my eyes to my toes feels like bruising. I was finally able to keep some soup down and I've been munching sunflower seeds all day.

24 hours since I woke up last with spurt naps in between and I still can't calm my cough enough to sleep. This is the worst.

3 pm on 3rd day and my fever finally broke. I still feel like I got hit by a truck, but I finally slept.

9pm and I've slept all day. I can finally sit up but I'm running another fever. Basically I'm keeping track of all of this because I never had covid in the sense that every test was negative. But the last time I was this unwell was December 2019. I was in immobile shape for 16 days. The bird flu test was also negative but I'm looking at near incapacitated for more than 12 hours a day today being day 6.

Stayed up finally able to sit up. I've had a little bit of food and I'm getting some more meds this morning. It feels like my fever is back. Pretty soon I'll take another covid test. I still feel like death.

About midway through day 7 and I'm finally able to stand for longer than 3 mins. The nausea has finally subsided. It has been so bad that the last 4 days kind of just feel like a blur. I have an appetite, but I still don't feel well enough to drive, and I'm not paying the $15 door dash fee. Either way, now that I'm able to sit up and focus without drifting in and out of consciousness, I finished my book (The Cruel Prince) And immediately got the second one in the series. I'm trying to watch meme videos for chess and Black ops so that I'm not watching helluva boss over and over again.

I think I need one more day of full rest and recovery. I finished two books and now I'm watching Pacific Drive videos by jacksepticeye

8:30 pm next night. Went back to the doctor. He said one more day of rest but three more of meds. I finally felt well enough to enjoy a hot bath.

Round 2 bitches. I got the caw caw again and not IN THE FUCKIN FUN WAY WTF THIS US BULLSHIT