#and i'm feeling like a terrible manager to my classroom aid because i won't be here for the NAEYC accredidation visit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stochastiz · 10 months ago

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i am really looking forward to this trip so that i can stop thinking about how unbelievably stressful work has been recently, but there is still so much i have to do before i can reach the point of being "on vacation" that i am just too burned out and overwhelmed to actually take care of

my mother keeps asking questions that i cannot think far ahead enough to answer, asking me to make lists and plans of things to do during the trip when i can barely handle the process of finishing packing before we leave tomorrow morning

i've had to tell her so many times that i am genuinely incapable of so many things right now, but she doesn't understand because 'normally' all of this is 'so easy' for me

#and i'm feeling like a terrible manager to my classroom aid because i won't be here for the NAEYC accredidation visit #and i held out hope until the last minute that they would come while i was still here to do it so the pressure can all be on me #i can bullshit my way through all their questions and explain the rationale behind the decisions i make in my classroom #but her job description doesn't include the curriculum and developmental screenings and all that stuff. that's on me.#even though i won't be there she shouldn't be expected to suddenly have to learn all of that just for this one day visit.#it just all comes back to the fact that they expect us to magically meet all these expectations while having none of the necessary support #and idfk what to do about it and that pisses me off because i and my staff and my kids deserve better.#i have put every single bain cell i have access to into trying to prepare for this but it feels like it'll never be enough.#and even while i'm gone there's no way i won't still be thinking about work. they're my kids. i want to know they're doing well. my center #aid is my friend and i want her to be supported and successful to the best of her ability #not gunna make it through the day without crying multiple times at this rate #stochastic ramblings

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