#and i'm aware they are dreams too
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Idk what's gotten into my water but I be having wild dreams lately
#and i'm aware they are dreams too#i don't change anything about them#i don't think i could do that if i tried#but in my dream i say to myself 'oh wait#this dream is really wack'#or 'wait how tf am i here- fhis has to be a dream then. yeah this is a dream'#my most recent was i was dreaming about things and a favorite character of mine popped up#but it was just about when i was drearily coming to my irl senses#you know what i did?#i thought to myself mid dream#'hey this dream is about (character) let's not wake up yet'#AND I REMAINED ASLEEP#And had the dream with the character still in it#it was wild#and i remember these well too#one of them i was barefoot in my pj's on some hot cement and it felt hot#i knew it was impossible for me to be there as it was states away in the middle of the day by my family home#and i checked my phone (startling it was eveb present) and was like 'yeah ain't no way i got here in one day'#Because i was aware that it was Monday and yesterday was Sunday#in real life#and in the dream too#this has never happened to me before it's real strange
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That's the face he makes when he's feeling silly.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I tried so hard to squeeze in the fact this bar boy was 100% down to take on wwx's surname.#Unfortunately for him...sitting at the table is a man who's biggest dream is to hyphenate his surname with that very same man#though as far as I'm aware taking on your husbands surname is culturally a very different process in this setting#but in modern times I think the surname thing would genuinely be a point of contention for these guys.#wwx of old would hate taking someone else's name. And wwx of 'i want to be an attic wife' future would want nothing less#lwj of 'we are equals and I want to represent that as much as our bond' would argue his point like a law case.#lwj of now has to sit at a table and see someone living his dream and he's too lawful of indiscriminate killing. But he's thinking about it#It's like the relationship between you & your laptop & your cat. lwj is the cat that is *going* to make you pay attention to him.#apologies for soft-skipping an upload yesterday. I had to redo a few comics and it set me back B*(
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Some. Sort of spectrum. From most likely to least likely.
And by kitten-pile I mean This
I'll put a transcript under cut for easier reading! 🫡
How Likely Are They to Kitten Pile?
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Mirabilis: "are you tired..? do you need a break...? ohh we could take one together..."
If she likes/trusts you even a little, she wants to cuddle about it!!!
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Sharena and Peony: "Okay! 💖 Yay! 💖"
Shari: The only thing stopping her is social conventions -- making her MORE likely to jump at the opportunity!
Peony: Learning social awareness as she goes, and is surprisingly good at it?
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Triandra: "Aren't we a bit old for that...? But... even so..."
Embarrassed, conflicted, but feels strangely nostalgic at the notion...
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Plumeria: "I'm not so petal-soft that I'd resort to such INDECENCY, I mean even if your intentions are Pure USE YOUR HEADS YOU FOOLS!! Girl, the IMPLICATIONS!!!"
Desperately wants to join the kitten-pile, but her Issues and Pride gets in the way.
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Moe: "aw, so cutes!"
Generally touch adverse, extremely picky even with the people it likes/loves -- everything is entirely on its terms.
#fire emblem#feh#STILL. DRAFTING. IT FEELS LIKE. concetualizing. ect.#but this vision was So Strong. and is honestly Such a way to parse each out.#like... mira craves warmth and comfort... i think she esp likes cuddling w peony bc it feels like a mother's touch#esp the discrepancy in body types i'm going w here. i really wanna draw them together actually...#meanwhile LONG. LONG STANDING HC. about sharena being v physically affectionate even touch starved#and having to learn boundaries the hard way. i also think a huge difference between her and peony actually#is that peony always had someone to cuddle with (mira!!). so peony never had to 'outgrow' it the way shari had to#which may have led to peony being a little more adjusted actually??? i also am v much playing w the idea#that peony is like min maxed. she's surprisingly socially aware/emotionally intelligent#BUT. she still has huge blind spots due to her seclusion and mostly only interacting w kid mortals (in the dream realm)#and i esp think she fails to see the complexity in situations. ect ect#triandra. boy do i have lore about triandra. but you can take a guess. i'll leave that up to you.#AND PLUMERIA. OH MY GOD PLUMERIA. i can just TELL she's going to be an EXTREMELY FUN chara to write#she basically writes herself. looking deeper beyond the obvious sex repulsion/intimacy issues#she's a stubborn jaded 'too cool for this' older sister. who is WAY more protective than she will Ever Admit.#LIKE... I AM THINKING ESP HOW SHE TREATED MIRA IN THAT TT SIDE STORY.#the way she was looking out for her. tri is absolutely plum's most trusted confidant and therefore#the person she's most vulnerable with. but even then. she's still protective of mira and i bet even peony if she had trouble#(granting. they're on the same side). AUGH AND ALSO THE WAY PLUM IS STUCK IN HER WAYS TOO....#I DON'T HAVE COHERENT THOUGHTS. but the way plumeria Is just resonates so deeply w me...#mirabilis#sharena#fe peony#fe triandra#fe plumeria#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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RJC + Hairstyles || requested by: anonymous ;)
#robert james-collier#rob james-collier#robert james collier#rob james collier#mine#requests#okay listen i plan to do a part 2 of different character hairstyles too#because my brain doesn't like mixing interviews with roles 😂#the interviews that feature the floppy hair of his youth make for poor gifs so think i'll do more of that hair in pt 2 with roles#that emo hair is...A Look™#i'm aware some of these are really the same hairstyle just different lengths but i'm counting it#still want HQ footage of the cut from the most recent act on this#ain't gonna happen but i can dream
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Oh fuck me fuckme fuck me
#I'm going to start killing people#I need SLEEPY TYLENOL NOWWWWWWW#Mfer laying in bed for 8 hours full awake 🫠 eyes shut. Brain. ACTIVE#IM TRYING SO HARD TO SLEEP JUST BE UNCONSCIOUS#Too late now#Fuck me I have to be aware enough to not kill everybody in this vehicle#Mfing murder nightmare too what the fuck#Set the scene: YouTuber wedding#The man in charge of filming is an asshole to the minimum wage people working there#Like real mean. And one meek guy tries to tell the groom but the groom is kinda a dismissive asshole about it bc he's already paid the guy#So it's too late now. Meek guy keeps getting disrespected and storms out to the parking lot to just leave#Woman who has been witnessing this apparently is gonna kill on meek guys behalf. He does not want this#Woman gets into a fucked up death machine car and drives it into the groom#But not like. Runs him over. There's a fucking saw blade on the front that starts cutting through the bottom of his torso#He was screaming a lot. I'm not sure if he survived or not. But the atmosphere was not fun#Very muddy desaturated colors. Very wet and musty feeling. It was like almost a parking garage#I don't think I'll ever have a dream as scary as the um time-looping cannibal beach dream#But this was just the delightful cherry of not being able to sleep at fucking. ALL .#Literally cried I'm so distressed about not being able to control anything about myself rn#Hhhhh :(((#3rd night in a row I've slept like shit
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I should go on a week-long hike in scotland
#i've always wanted to do a hiking and camping trip#i know realistically i'm not nearly outdoorsy enough to do that but i feel like i should at least once in my life#i've only been camping a couple times but i know how to pitch a tent (lol) and i've always yearned to cook something over a lil camp grill#i've been too comfortable on my recent travels#when i was in new zealand i stayed mostly in hostels but at least i was lugging around my giant backpack and a tent#i really want to do a hike like that.... that's what the person i wanna be would do#honestly maybe i could do something like that next year. get the appropriate gear until then and pick out a route#i am fully aware that i would 100% suffer on a trip like that but it's so cool i wanna look at stuff and walk all day#dream vacation lmao#rayrambles
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a bit from a fic im working on ^^ takes place during the divorce arc in new friends old enemies
Steam wafts up from the stew— a joint effort. Dream caught, Punz cooked. The aroma makes his mouth water, but Dream eats in slow, measured bites. Deliberately pacing himself. The rabbit is tender and well seasoned, if a bit gamey. The broth's flavor heavy on his tongue.
Next to him, Punz doesn't say a word.
He knows eating, eating for pleasure instead of just base survival especially, is a tense experience for Dream. The stew is rich in flavor and labor intensive to cook. Not the most efficient food, but before the- before, with Sapnap and George and a house surrounded by a lake, Dream had enjoyed this food the most. Then, Dream had time to spare. Days to waste lazing in a kitchen or hunting through a field. Time is the one thing he doesn't have now.
Well. One of the things.
This whole affair is an exercise, smaller than some of the others, but with that- easier to do. Readjust to eating food again. Real food again. Dream can't afford to keep being thrown off by the bloated feeling in his stomach. Being more comfortable craving. It's a hindrance. He needs to get over this.
In the silence, he can hear himself chew. Dream wishes Punz would say something, honestly, but Dream knows he doesn't want to add any more pressure. He doesn't, but he does. Punz's eyes bore into him as he watches the spoon pass Dream's lips with an eagle's eye. Calorie counting for him.
He's watching him eat the food. Making sure he's finished it.
This stew is a waste. He eats the stew. He avoids the potatoes. Teeth tear a bit of the meat apart. And for a second, he tastes iron.
He eats the stew.
Foolish always talkswhen they eat together, filling up the empty spaces with something warmer than whatever meal they're sharing. Foolish isn't here right now, by design. Dream orchestrated that distance.
Dream can feel the food in his teeth, on his tongue and in his throat, in his stomach. Dream can feel Punz watching all of it.
He sets the spoon down. He walks away from an almost full bowl.
Punz's eyes track him as Dream moves from the table. He stays silent.
#root writes#c!dream#dreblr#c!droolish#Yeah that's right#new friends old enemies#food issues#trying to get across that it's specifically the act of being watched while eating that is triggering to cdream#and along with how he has to be so aware of the act of eating that's like#setting him off a bit#Worried that I'm either making it too obvious or not obvious enough hmm#also I rlly want to dive into how cpunz is low-key an enabler#and by low-key 😬
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thinking about the sasrh boys and the terror boys interacting is something that can be so personal
#sas rogue heroes#the terror#abbie talks#i feel like tozer and stirling would annoy the hell out of each other#but there'd be grudging respect there too#lewes and jopson = instant besties (maybe sadler as well)#paddy and crozier would have a lot of drinks and chats#plus you know paddy would see right through hickey in about five seconds and then thrash him#fraser and irving would bond over both being scottish and incredibly repressed#hodgson hanging out with the free french#dudley clarke and james fitzjames having crossdressing parties#plus you just know everyone would love tommy#yes i'm aware the two groups are 100 years apart but a girl can dream
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for reference to the movie question, have you seen any of: Glass Onion, Nope, or Everything Everywhere All At Once?
meaning to see a couple of those, still.
I really enjoyed Everything Everywhere All At Once! The maximalist creativity of it, the heart, the commitment to telling a sprawling, no-holds-barred story with evident joy---it was a delight. (Particularly in this era of endless IP...) The performances of everyone involved were a revelation---shout out to Stephanie Hsu, who deserves credit for keeping stride with such established powerhouses.
I sobbed. Twice.
So I loved it, but it didn't resonate like my favorite movies of years past have. I still think about Green Knight, Gawain asking “Is this really all there is?” Last Black Man in San Francisco, with its streetlights, and warmly hazed focus, lives in my cardiac muscle somewhere. There's no movie I watched this year that compares.
I did watch like Glass Onion, but---and I hate to say this, because it was a fun movie, and a great film to watch with my family over Christmas, but---it felt hollow. I cannot stress enough how fun it was! My family exclaimed over every famous cameo and laughed a lot, plus it features some gangbusters performances. I too wish that our 21st century robber barons would be embarrassed in front of their friends and have their tchotchkes smashed in a burst of righteous violence. But I also feel like Glass Onion spent so much of its runtime showcasing the beautiful things, spaces, and people that go hand in hand with obscene wealth, that it was hard to take its critique seriously---or at least not see a sort of envy in it. On balance, I preferred Marta’s worn white sneakers.
I have not seen Nope, but I have heard good things about it! I look forward to checking it out in 2023.
#a proscenium for our dreams#I saw banshees of inisherin the other day and liked that one too! it was compelling but not like having the breath pulled from my lungs#by light. which is how I know a movie is very very Good.#......yes I am aware my standards are too high#and very intensely personal in a way that doesn't actually translate to judgements of a film's quality#that's why I'm not a film critic
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going to a Best of Floyd live performance soon, it'll be my first one - had a dream about it in advance, first half was weird dream stuff and then at the end they started playing Echoes and i. woke up crying. a few mins before my radio went off, as my brain learned to do. this is fine
#i'm normal about their music. have been for 10 years#i never cry in my sleep so i was really like ??????? while waking up. but also it's that time of the month and im tired#i was aware i was dreaming too so. very strange in a nice way#echoes is not even my favorite from them (still high up in my list though) (also blorbo from days long gone iykyk)#cool story pyro
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Last night i dreamt that the whole chat history between me and my most beloved ex-coworker had been deleted. Truly one of the most horrifying nightmares i've had in a while
#first thing i checked when i logged in this morning was our chat#i was so sad in my dream lmao#also the way his name is so far down i have to scroll to find him is truly upsetting#ahhhhh#today was the first tuesday without him#(tuesday is urology newsletter day and i always worked for him that day which meant lots of fun exchanges#today was my first time being responsible for the whole newsletter too. scary)#(also it's not like i couldn't just reply to him on whatsapp and maybe get a reply back so we can stay in touch#i just genuinely suck at staying in touch outside of work. like please just let me send messages‚ brain‚ I'm begging you#)#tomorrow is office day again and i gotta say I'm really not looking forward to it#(also i really don't want to take the train lol. i know that it's stupid but i still think of that sound and jolt of the impact yesterday#i'm aware the probability of this happening twice on the same route within such a short time is very low#but it's still unpleasant to imagine- maybe I'll just stay in the back of the train from now on lol#or at least until I've forgotten about it)#okay oversharing time is over and i shall go to bed now#void screams#(but seriously do they delete these accounts at some point or do people who left the company stay there as ghosts#with a permanent out of office note~ i hope they do.)
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the saga of my newly fucked up sleep schedule is apparently not over!! even tho i did get a normal 8 hours last night i was in a show today and when that wrapped and i got back to my dorm at like 4:30-ish i decided to take a quick nap which turned into me waking up at almost NINE PM
on the plus side i'm fairly sure i lucid dreamed a couple of times during the nap so that's a plus
#i say ''fairly sure'' bc for me lucid dreaming is always kind of in this weird area where idk how much i can actually do it#bc most of the time i let dreams play out without trying to control them. like jfc i already make enough decisions while i'm awake lmao#mostly i'm just Aware it's a dream and if i'm like ''this dream sucks'' i can just decide to wake up#which i kind of wish had been the case this time bc jfc that nap was too long#HOWEVER this time i controlled things a bit more when there was like something coming up like#''i'd love to do (x opportunity) but i can't we don't have the time'' and then i'd be like this literally has no consequences it's a dream#so i'd just focus on moving us to that scene instead#or if something was really enjoyable i'd construct a way to do it again. like not being able to control everything#but being able to control that one element#so yeah idk exactly where i'm at in terms of lucid dreaming but at least i can make my dreams enjoyable!#even if the consequence of that is not having the motivation to be like ''this sucks'' and wake myself up at a decent time
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how do i tell time that, literally all i need to make my current career dream come true, is for time to stand still and people to freeze for about 4 years, so i can complete an whole study in japanese languistics without any distractions and become a worthy translator who could actually translate literature???
#the fact that i'm even allowing myself to dream about this is mental#god forbid i get too insecure abt this again and i've got to tell my career coach we gotta start over again lol#also: by now i'm painfully aware that some things which are holding me back are related to autism and my adoption#this fuckin life has got me in a chokehold#personal
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I'll say it: "Oh all AI artists do is write a stupid description and immediately get an image with no effort, there's no art in that" is the new "Digital painting doesn't count as art because it takes no effort"
#Look I'm aware there're moral reasons to criticize AI art such as how corporations will use it#and the fact lots of models (not all however) use stolen content#But all you have to do is visit a forum dedicated to AI art to quickly realize it actually takes some effort to make quality images#And honestly from what I've seen those guys are often very respectful of traditional artists if not traditional artists themselves#Not a single bit of 'haha those idiots are working hard when they could simply use AI!' that Tumblr likes to strawman them as#Lots of 'So I did the base with AI and then painted over it manually in Photoshop' and 'I trained this model myself with my own drawings'#And I'm not saying there aren't some guys that are being assholes over it on Twitter#But when you go to an actual community dedicated to it. Honestly these guys are rather nice#I've seen some truly astounding projects#like there was this guy that was using people's scars to create maps of forests and mointains to sort of explore the theme of healing#And this one that took videos of his city and overlayed them with some solarpunk kind of thing#And this one that was doing a collection of dreams that was half AI amd half traditional painting#Anyway the point is you guys are being way too mean to a group of people that genuinely want to use the technology to create cool art#And while I'm aware there are issues related to its use#it's actually really fucked up you're attacking the individual artists instead of corporations???#It's as if you were attacking the chocolate guy over the systemic problems related to the chocolate industry!#And also tumblrs always like 'Oh AI is disgusting I hate AI art so I'll just hate in it without dealing with the issue'#While AI art forums often have posts with people discussing how go use it ethically when applied to commercial use!!#Honestly these guys are doing way more about tackling the issue than tumblr and you should feel bad!!!
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Fandom reputation: Number one Tristian fan, kingmaker enthusiast with highly interesting thoughts, creator of beautiful little artworks and always so much fun to talk to.
Haha, thank you. Though I think I have been too late on the scene and too antisocial to be number one anything, truly... There are a lot of people out there who have been creating in the fandom much longer than I and have brought really impressive things into being. For reasons that elude me, some even follow me- a great and terrible honor indeed.
I am always happy to hear that the art and the company are fun :) As much as I grow, I know I'm still unskilled in both creative and social spheres, haha. It's high praise from someone as skilled as you. I'm amazed by what you can create and how rapidly you've grown.
#I am the Kingmaker philosopher with this reputation for thinking.#though I hope one day it translates into more than vaguely discussed thoughts...#I suppose at risk of being too sincere there is something truly frightening about putting things out there#when I started the Kingmaker blog I really didn't think there could be anyone on Tumblr who cared about the game#I'm very anxious and have a bad habit of comparing myself to others#I never really participated in online fandom before because the incredible abilities of others scared me- I had little to offer#the idea of quietly running a blog that no one saw appealed from me even if there was a fantasy of being famous and praised#like no competition would mean no stress.#but the truth is that there were a lot of people there already who created things I couldn't dream of coming close to#mature and skilled art. long and carefully crafted pieces of writing.#when I became aware of that I got scared.#it made it hard to be proud of what I was doing#so I went to Twitter where I had no audience and I thought no way of being discovered#and then there were people there too.#there have been times I've been so intimidated by others I've really thought about giving up completely#I can't grow or create fast enough to feel like I'm keeping pace#but I guess I want to take a cue from Balthazar and live more selfishly.#I don't really want to be the best anymore and I don't want to worry about what I ought to be doing#or to have a purpose for things or follow some process to a conventional goal#I just want to do what I enjoy without worrying about other people#or thinking I take up too much space#it's hard though right#anyway. no real concluding thought here#sorry to throw down such atrocious tags here on a post already fishing for compliments haha#turns out I actually don't know what to do with compliments when I get them.#ask me emithing#long post#dmagedgoods
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1907, USA (The South)- 17 year old Carrie-Ann Bishop dreams of escaping from an unwanted marriage with a man more than twice her age to instead live with her beloved friend, Miss Lillian. All along he realizes that he is not the daughter his family insists he is. Becoming Carson Bleu frees him from what he thought he could not escape. However, as most young men in his generation, Carson soon finds himself heading off to Europe to join the allies in WWI as a solider.
Part historic drama, part family epic with twists of mystery and romance; The 8 Bastards of Cedric St. John is an experimental writing project inspired in part the Modernist movement. The story will jump around in time and shift in perspective between the various characters to slowly unfold the whole story of Cedric's many children in 20th century England and beyond.
All names used in this project are not based on any real people living or dead. This is all my imagination- no one in this story was ever a real living person.
Genres: Historic Fiction, Drama, Family Epic, includes some LGBT romances
#Carson's story!!! part 1 basically#I've written his second chapter already but it's in line with other chapters for editing before release#he's also in some of the other character's chapters too but that's probably unsurprising because of how this story tangles everyone up#this chapter goes from 1907 to 1916 I'm aware WWI is not until 1914#ghosts and dreams are the magical/fantastical element in this series too so it's not just Carson who sees them#v. b. lavender#family epic#lgbt characters#the 8 bastards of cedric st. john#wwi fiction#2023 release#historic fiction#period drama#bisexual characters#trans characters#early 20th century#audio series#modernism nouveau#youtube#my writing#my art
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