#and i'll be out with my mom at the mall in celebration of my day

[crescentmp3]

oo we've got some races and competitions upcoming for 19th may!

[jaylienpotter]

I'll be offline for the next few days. Spending the weekend out to celebrate New Years! 🎉

So here's the Marauders holidays headcanons requested by Anon on my tree! Before it's January lol.

James

He LOOOOVES the holidays. So much. Christmas is probably his favourite day of the year. Along with his birthday. Family - and friends, since the Potters kidnap take in all the unfortunate kids - gathering together? Celebrating together? Giving gifts? James is in heaven.

He wouldn't shut up when he found out about Santa's reindeer, either, calling himself Rudolph's distant cousin.

Although he likes receiving gifts, he lives for giving them. And he's amazing at choosing too, you'll always get something big yet meaningful. He'd propose to play secret santa every year but he prefers giving all his friends something instead.

His favourite season is summer and he hates cold, but snow? Snow is an exception. It doesn't matter how old he is, if he sees snow, he will point to it and jump excitedly before running outside (and probably catch a cold).

Sirius

He used to dislike Christmas, or at least not care for it. It was nothing but a facade of pureblood gatherings and fake smiles, behaving like the heir of a family he hated. And there was nearly always some family drama (that part Sirius enjoyed). Him and Reg used to place bets on who would be the first family member to start a fight. It was often Sirius.

When he moved to the Potters, Christmas became a family holiday. A family that wasn't his blood but loved him much more. A family that chose to have him be a part of theirs, even if he wasn't perfect. Even if he was unstable. He didn't dread the holidays anymore.

He isn't as excited as James, but it's close. He loves cooking cookies with Effie, he wasn't allowed to cook in the Black Mannor, as it was seen as a low class activity. Secretly, his favourite part now is receiving gifts. See how others thought of him. Loved him. Especially his new family.

Remus

He enjoys the quiet holidays, not a fan of the parties and loudness. Malls are avoided. People are avoided. He'd much rather sit in an armchair by the fire, curled up with a book. Sip tea. Drink hot chocolate. Listen to the rain. It's calm, peaceful. He never had big Christmas celebrations, it's always been just him and his parents - helping his mom in the kitchen, getting a few humble gifts and watching a movie together if they were lucky. It was perfect.

And of course, the amount of chocolates! When people don't know what give you for Christmas, what to they usually go for? Chocolate. And there's so many different available types during this time! Yep, Lupin enjoyed this festive season.

Except the fact that everything became Christmas-themed. All the songs that play anywhere. Any type of decoration. Fake plastic trees everywhere. But oh well.

Once he hit Sirius in the head with a book because he called his - NORMAL, non-christmas sweater - an "ugly sweater".

Peter

He really likes Christmas, not obsessively like Prongs buuuut he's one of those people that start decorating their house on the November 1st, right after Halloween. His home always has a big tree, fully decorated. Every room smells of baked goods. He decorates gingerbread houses, bakes traditional cakes, makes sugar cookies... It's fun, it's calming, it's delicious!

Poor Pete always gets sick around this time of the year, sensitive to the change of temperature. He will complain about it. Sometimes he's not even sick, but he enjoys being babied and taken care of.

If there's snow, he'll for sure make snow angels and try to make a snowman with his friends, enchanting it afterwards to give it life for a few hours or days until it inevitably melts. And if his friends start a snowball fight... he hides behind a wall of snow or a tree and shoots blindly. He never won the game.

[inklessletter]

I can't get out of my head this steddie fic prompt, but I don't think I'm going to have time to turn this into a proper fic, so I'll put what's been bugging me in here.

Modern AU, singledad!eddie is being convinced by his hyperactive, seven year old daughter Max to join this dancing class downtown because all his friends are there and apparently they're having a blast a couple times a week (not that she cares about silly dances, of course). And Eddie is mesmerized because he's tried for her to take up anything that helps her channeling all her energy but she never agrees to do anything, and what she's tried out before, it didn't do much for her. But Eddie thinks that it might be a good sign, (mainly because it's Max who's asking for it) and when he takes her to the studio, enter danceteacher!steve, high five-ing every kid coming in, and has this killer smile to every parent dropping their kids there.

So Eddie goes to talk to hot teacher Steve and sign Max up for a trial class, Eddie still being a little bit skeptical about if this is going to work for her daughter, so Steve invites Eddie to stay behind the glass, to take a coffee and judge for himself. And it's then and there that Eddie realizes that Steve is incredibly good with kids, he makes them engage, they are having fun, and they are all monkey-ing around, jumping, spinning, singing songs, focusing (at times), laughing out loud.

But Max, poor thing, has two left feet, and she seems so lost. Eddie can almost feel the anger building up in her because she's not really able to follow up the class. His friends and Steve try to help her, going slow, doing it easy and fun, but Max is short tempered and she ends the class almost in tears.

With a sigh, Eddie figures that's the first and only class Max is taking, reading after her mood, so he thanks Steve, and Steve tells him to come back anytime. But Eddie is shocked to the core when he sees the following day that Max is practicing the routine in her bedroom. She doesn't want to quit.

So she finally joins the class officially and Eddie gets used to staying and watching for a bit when the classes start. Both Eddie and Steve would be dirty liars if they denied that they developed a dynamic by engaging through the glass, sharing funny faces, eye rolls, secretive smiles and winks that has Eddie's ears blushing, when after a few weeks coworker Robin (who doesn't teach because she can't dance for shit but manages the place) tells Eddie, out of the blue, that Steve also give dancing lessons for adults, of almost any kind of dance, in case he's interested.

But Max is doing so well now, and Eddie doesn't want to jeopardize this in favor of giving in to his attraction for Steve, so, for Eddie, longing looks and this sweet dynamic is all he's going to get.

And the thing is, it is not even that secretive anymore. All moms there are invested in this story now, because they've seen too.

So after a few months, it's Lucas' birthday and the whole bunch are celebrating after class in the next door mall, in laser tag, and the angel that is Mrs Henderson promises to take care of Max, that he can have a couple free hours if he's up to it.

That's how Eddie decides to stay in the dancing studio, because even if he can't date Steve, he can talk to him, right? Or have a coffee together, or—

—or he can stand and gawk at the door of the class, watching Steve dancing on his own a smooth latin rhythm, like it's nobody's business and Eddie has never had felt so hypnotized by anyone since he witnessed the cheerleading routine back in highschool and fell in love with Max's mom right that instant.

And it's happening again, but he's not in highschool anymore.

He has a kid now.

A kid who is happy there, and nothing should change that.

Nothing, until Steve notices Eddie standing and wordlessly invites him to the dance floor. It's not until he's corrected Eddie's stance that he explains that this is a dance for two.

Hands in his hips, he teaches Eddie the basics, and fuck if leading in a dance whose partner doesn't know anything about isn't Steve's hidden talent. After a while, Eddie feels like an extension of Steve's body, and the lines that he shouldn't be thinking of crossing start getting blurry, especially when Steve pulls him closer with a hand in the small of his back, over and over again, or the heat of their bodies mixing, or the sound of embarrassed cackles coming from Eddie from time to time after Steve's praises, or the sweet scent of Steve's breathing colliding against Eddie's chin because they're this close while dancing in the dim lights of the lonely studio.

There's nowhere to hide now, the attraction is almost tangible, but Steve's a professional and Eddie is willing to sacrifice this schrodinger relationship if that makes Max happy.

But he can take up dancing classes with Steve, especially when he tells him, once the steam is off, that Eddie definitely has dancing skills.

So Eddie talks to Max if it's okay, and he's so surprised when she immediately agrees because she can be doing homework, or playing with Lucas and Dustin while he's in his classes, so, Eddie decides to torture himself a little bit more and joins in.

It's in the dancing lessons where they speak, where they get to know each other. It's where Eddie learns about Steve's idiotic sense of humor, or his dreams of having a big family because he loves kids, but it's hard for him because he can't really have them. It's where Eddie tells Steve about Chrissy's sickness, and her passing when Max was four and the little one became his whole world. It's when Steve invites Eddie and Max to have dinner at home someday, and Eddie agrees.

And it's there, at Robin and Steve's house that he learns that Steve really cares about Max, cooking her favorite meal, when she only mentioned once like three months ago. It's when he learns that Max is so comfortable with Steve's presence that she's not cranky a single minute of the evening, and Steve complies to play rummy because it's Max's favorite game after dinner. And she's laughing, and happy, and carefree whenever she's with Robin and Steve. 

And then, Eddie knows that he's fucking fucked, because he's in love with Steve.

So he has to make a decision and on their way home, he tells Max that he's thinking about dropping dancing lessons with Steve, and he's stunned when she asks why, horrified, telling him that she thought he liked Steve. And Eddie, honest to god, tells her that he does like Steve, a lot. And maybe he shouldn't be telling his seven year old all of this, but Max is his best friend, and he has been feeling lonely and heartbroken for so long, he has no desire to keep anything from her, even if she's too young to understand the magnitude of the problem here. So when Max simplifies everything by saying "if you like Steve, why don't you date him? He's nice, I like him, too. And Robin," Eddie can do no more but to ask her if she would be okay with letting Steve come into their lives, and Max is kind of weirded out by the question. It's when Eddie has to explain, in the middle of the street, kneeling before her, that he would never do anything, or let anyone come in their lives if she isn't comfortable with it, because they're a team and Max is his most favoritest person and she always will be, so of course he's going to ask her if any changes in their lives would be okay with her. And Eddie doesn't want to cry, and he manages, but his eyes are definitely glassy when he grabs Max's cheeks and tells her with a smile that he just wants her to be happy. But he can't control a tear falling down, when Max replies with a simple, yet hammering "but I want you to be happy, too, dad."

And it's with Max's approval and a heart full of love for her kid when in the next class, Eddie invites Steve to dinner at home, and Steve asks him if it's really okay. Eddie tells him with a full smile that it's okay for everyone. And Steve is excited because he's been hopeful for so long for it to be.

So they finally, finally kiss, and it’s absolutely magical.

It’s magical for them, and it’s magical for Robin, who is watching from outside, next to the seven or eight moms with their respective kids with their faces smashed against the glass pulling a mix of disgusted and excited and surprised faces.

Max is rolling her eyes. With a smile, though.

They are oblivious to this until wonderful Mrs Henderson yells “yay, finally!” and they are startled by the applause and whistling coming from them.

[favoriteizzy]

@e-vay

OMG I finally got back to WRITING!! I've been going through way to much but i'm finally able to take a break and get back to my favorite hobby and I'll be doing more fanfics later Also Happy late birthday E-vay this is for you

A Trip Of Rivalry

Ima do at least 10 parts / and if you want to write something or draw something about this fan fic pls use hashtag # A trip of rivalry! I am trying to be famous so this helps alot

While Amy and Sonic went to the client’s house, Shadow and Aurora had just arrived to the brand new Diamond Café. It opened up a month ago and Rouge told shadow about the place. Not because of the name itself, but because of how it looked. They Hopped of the motorcycle and entered the place for the reservation. As soon as they entered they would be shined with bright diamonds around the place with blue and white walls and white tables with such fancy chairs and many decor. Shadow started to feel guilty because he didn’t think this would be a well and fancy café, he thought the name was just something to catch customers in, but by the way this place looked, this was for people who were going on dates or a anniversary celebration. But of course those to were the only ones with normal clothes people would wear to the mall. After waiting only 10 minutes a employee came to escort them to there table. “ Thank you” Aurora said sitting down. “ Your welcome the waiter well be here shortly” the employee replied walking away to help the next person. They opened the menu and went to see the foods. Shadow ordered a steak medium rare while Aurora ordered the chicken Alfredo pasta. The couple talked about how their day was and their plans for the following week.

(TIME-SKIP because i'm still learning about how to write good dialogue sorry LOL)

They were halfway through their food and so far they had absolutely no complaints. Even shadow cracked a smile here and there because he honestly enjoyed his steak. "So...sense my parents will be working for a while how about we head to the park I'd need to blow off some of this pasta im full" Aurora said patting her stomach showing she was about ready to go. "Yeah I'm with you on that I could blow some fat off too how about a little race while we're at it~" Shadow said giving Aurora a smirk challenging her. "Oh your own mister!". Shadow pulled out his wallet and payed for the food. They exited the restaurant feeling full but satisfied with no longer feeling the need for food. Once again they hop on shadows motorcycle riding to the nearest park. Before shadow drives quickly aurora grabs her phone and snaps a photo of her and shadow riding around the city then sending to her mom saying "Having a great time tell dad I said hi love you both ❤️" She put her phone in her pocket and held onto shadows back as they get closer to their destination.

[gyusimp]

°•Christmas with Gyutaro Headcanons•°

🎄I drop this today cause i'll have a lot of things to do tomorrow. It's a bit short but this's my Christmas gift for you, enjoy! 🎄

Gyutaro is really the type of person who doesn't like Christmas. He doesn't hate it, he's just not excited or isn't very important to him.

If you don't like it that much either it's ok, then it'll be a normal day for you two, pair of grinches and the headcanon ends here lmao.

But! If unlike him, you love this time of year and when fucking October arrives (or even before) you start counting the days, Gyutaro will be willing to put up with you and your excitement for these dates.

For many months he was already totally invited to come to your house to spend it with you and your whole family but you know that socializing is not something that Gyutaro enjoys so you had another idea to spend time with him.

You asked your mom for the list of all the things she would need for dinner and some sweets and snacks too. She gave it to you and you told Gyutaro if he wanted to do the shopping with you.

It was that or spend alone at home because Ume already had plans to go out, but he would spend a lot of time with you so he said yes. You two took the bus to the mall where you bought some last minute gifts and the next stop was the supermarket.

This place was FULL of people and entire families milling the aisles with baskets and carts full of food.

Gyutaro took your hand in a fleeting moment of despair and you kissed his cheek, telling him that you two wouldn't be long in here.

You took the list and you walked to the aisle of each thing, you took it and placed it inside the cart that he drove because you were terrible at controlling those things.

At first he was somewhat uncomfortable by all the people around him but then he focused only on you and your random topic of conversation and that made him feel much better.

The line to pay was very long and it took a while, but then another cashier opened another cash so you were able to get out faster.

When leaving the mall, you called your dad to tell him that the purchases were done. A few minutes later, he collected the two of you and the thousands of bags in the car to go home.

Gyutaro already knew your dad so the trip wasn't uncomfortable at all. When you got home, you put your purchases in the kitchen and Gyutaro waited for you in the living room.

There was music and the atmosphere in your house was very happy so you called him to sit down and talk with you while you worked on dinner with your mom and your other family or he could even help you if he wanted.

Time passed faster and in the end he ended up staying for dinner. After helping out all morning, you took a shower, changed your clothes and got ready for Gyutaro to see you with the new outfit you had bought.

He blushed a lot when he saw you and told you that you looked very pretty. Gyutaro really wanted to kiss you, all day long he wanted to but he couldn't do it because all your family was at home and you were with them most of the time.

It was already midnight and he was still at your house because today was a day to stay up late. He received a call from Ume to tell him not to worry about her as she would be sleeping over at a friend's house who organized a party.

You took the opportunity to run to your room and grab a large bag. You went straight to Gyutaro and when he hung up you took a box out of that bag to hand to him.

"Merry Christmas, love!" you told him, with your cheeks pink while the fireworks were heard in the street.

He was surprised. First, because he didn't expect you to give him a gift and second, because he didn't actually buy anything for you.

Gyutaro hugged you very tight and lifted you a few inches off the ground before taking the box and he covered your face with soft kisses.

You wanted to continue celebrating with him so after the gift exchange with your family and when everyone went to sleep you went to Gyutaro's house. Even though it was very late, it was not dangerous because the streets were full of people and the neighbors had music and parties at their houses.

When you two walked in his house you excitedly told him to open his gift so he did. He tore the paper with his fingers and having unpacked the box, he opened it to find a black hoodie from his favorite band decorated with some chains.

"Oh shit! Is this a fucking joke? I love it!! How did you get it?" he said, hugging you.

This was a special edition of clothing that a certain brand had released but Gyutaro couldn't buy it due to lack of money, you had a friend who works in one of those stores so you were able to get it at a discount and long before they sold out.

"Don't think about that, it's just a love proof from your girlfriend. I'm glad you like it, sweetheart."

You took another box out of your bag and handed it over. You told him it was for Ume so he thanked you and put it in his room.

When you two were in his room he caught you off guard to kiss you and you kissed him back.

Now he could finally spend some time alone with you, he even told you that he would give you the first part of your Christmas gift right now ;)

The next morning, you two got dressed and tidied up before Ume arrived or it would have been very embarrassing and inappropriate to let her know everything that happened last night.

She arrived very happy to see you and after finishing her older brother's interrogation about what she did, who she was with and making sure she didn't drink anything, he allowed her to say hello.

You gave her her gift and you were very happy to see the little jumps that she gave when she saw her new nail polishes and an eyeshadow palette of about 50 colors.

The Shabana siblings made you very happy and you were happy to know that you made them happy too so today was a day to stay at their house and watch movies all day with them until it got dark and Gyutaro would take you to your house on his motorcycle.

I wish you all a merry christmas! Hope you'll have a nice time with your family, friends or with whoever that makes u happy, Gyu and me send u all our love 💚 Also i wanted to know, how u celebrate Christmas? i'll be helping my family cooking and i'll be awake untill the midnight tomorrow! So what are u gonna do?

[nancypullen]

I Lost My Mind

Sorry that I dropped off the face of the Earth for a bit. I have been in a holiday frenzy. I mentioned that I'll be flying down to visit my mom in Florida for a few days. What I did not consider is that taking a chunk out of the middle of December would send me into hyper-holiday prep. I felt like I needed to have EVERYTHING done before departing on the 12th. Ev-er-y-thing. So I put my head down and trimmed the tree, decorated the house, shopped, wrapped, wrote and addressed cards, wrapped some more, baked and baked, and finally checked the last task (packing and mailing a box) off my list. When I return home on the 17th my biggest worry will be preparing for the Christmas meal. I'll have a handful of days to panic. We may have tacos for Christmas dinner if I drop the ball.

The mister had mentioned making the hour long drive up to Christiana Mall in Delaware earlier this week. I told him that if I could get everything done on my list, I could go on Thursday. I worked like a mad woman so I could go to that damn mall. I used to take malls for granted, then I moved to Dogpatch. So I met my self-imposed deadline (the last cookie was packaged at 7pm on Wednesday night) and went to bed with a heating pad and visions of shopping dancing in my head. I was not disappointed. It turned into the best day! The most wonderful part? It snowed on us! All the way to Newark we were treated to this:

I can't even tell you how happy it made me. After our snowy trip we walked into the mall and right into a giant Barnes and Noble. Man, have I missed browsing in a brick and mortar bookstore. I made a wish list a mile long. *sigh*

Mickey and I split up and I visited Lush and bought a couple of sparkly bath bombs for my favorite 5 year old, walked a couple of stores down and picked up a little something for my sister's upcoming birthday, browsed in Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma (swoon!), and put some mileage on my shoes poking around in numerous other shops. It was such fun, I felt like an Amish girl on rumspringa. We met for a quick lunch and then headed off to the local Trader Joe's for a few things. We didn't have snow on the way home, but at least the car smelled good from that sack of bath bombs. Tomorrow I'm volunteering at the Friends of the Library booth at Winterfest. I think I'm running the Pin the Nose on the Snowman game. I doubt it will compete with all of the bouncy houses and big stuff, but hopefully some little bookworms will find us. After the festival I'll once again become a crazy lady, cleaning this house top to bottom and getting packed for the trip. I want to come home on the night of the 17th to a house that doesn't need a thing, because we'll be hurtling right into Christmas. Note to self: never again travel in December. I know I'll have a ball in Florida. I wanted to see my mom before I start the library job and lose the freedom to travel whenever I want (I've forgotten what it's like to ask for time off!). My sister is going to join us and we'll be able to celebrate her birthday on the 15th. It'll be good for all of us, some girl time. And that, my friends, explains my absence. I'm a one-woman holiday crew. The house is pretty, the tree is sparkling, gifts are purchased, wrapped, and tagged, cookies are baked, cards are mailed, and this elf is done. Well, I say one-woman, but I am never alone. Someone is always there, watching.

See her in there, just behind the white and gold bow? I can't keep her out of there. At least she doesn't climb it. I'll try to write a bit more tomorrow, I think I'll actually have a little time. I may tromp around in the woods and look for some greenery to cut. I want to make a festive swag to hang over those ugly blinds.

Hmmm. Maybe not. Looks a little too busy. Maybe some light garland. Whatever, it's not like we're on the Christmas home tour. Until tomorrow (I hope), I hope that you're enjoying every bright and shiny bit of this season. Turn on some holiday tunes and boogie your way through your chores. That's what keeps me going.

Stay safe, stay well, stay jolly! XOXO, Nancy

[istalauuu]

Ola, everyone!! It’s me, Crista! So for today’s blog, I'll introduce myself, where I came from, and how my life actually went.

I am Angelie Crista, but I prefer to be called Crista, especially by my closest friends. In contrast, people that I don’t know just call me by my surname, which is Brita. I hated to be called Angelie because I just don’t like it, and I find it cringe and a little bit weird. But lately, my mom told me the reason why she named me that, and I found out that it is a female French name that means "Messenger of God". like wow?!?!?! At first, I wouldn't believe her, and she even made me search for it on Google. BUT GIRL, IT IS. (sarcastically crying). Going back, I am 19 and currently residing in Brgy. Nena San Julian, but I grew up in Paranaque City, Metro Manila. Let’s get to know it, and here’s the history of my hometown..

PARANAQUE CITY

Is a highly-urbanized city was once just a simple fishing barangay during the Pre-Spanish days of the Philippines.

When Miguel Lopez de Legazpi and his group of Spanish colonizers landed in Manila, it is said that they discovered a small community who lived near the Manila Bay where fishing or “paglalayag” were their only source of income. But on the other side of the community called Muntinlupa, the natives, who were living on rice farming, were called “taga-Palayan”. These two groups of people intermingled with each other, often on little celebrations.

It was said that once upon a time, these two groups had a feast to decide what the name of their place would be. The rice farmers wanted to name the place “Palalayan”, but the fishermen protested and wanted the place to be named “Palalayag”. In order to reach a conclusion, both parties agreed to a compromise and instead decided to name the place “Palanyag”.

Several years later during the Spanish era, the placed was renamed “Para Aniya Ake” because of several instances where Spanish soldiers would tell the native coachman “Para aqui, para aqui (Stop here, stop here)” whenever they reached Palanyag. These native coachmen would tell their humorous versions of this story until the name stuck in the hearts and minds of the inhabitants of old Paranaque.

Paranaque City is also known as the fashion capital of Metro Manila and is home to the largest fashion boutiques and shops.

Just so you know, guys, my life there is quite adventurous and fun. Serving me the things I wanted and making it easier for me to do the things I needed. Spoiling myself almost every day by going to the malls or even with friends. That’s why my money only lasts for a few minutes. Yes, I am too irresponsible when it comes to handling money.

But for some reason, that life I had vanished when my parents decided to let me study here in our province, which is located in Brgy. Nena San Julian, Eastern Samar. So, moving forward, as a girl who grew up in a city, I am having a hard time, especially since I am new to this place. I find it difficult here since there are big differences between the place where I grew up and the place I am today.

But since this is the new chapter that God gave me and a life that I needed to take, I don’t have a choice but to accept and love where I am today. I made adjustments, and it’s not easy to do. The transportation here is so hard. It’s like I am more tired of the transportation than of my classes. Also, the grocery stores are too far, and it’s quite tiring. The things I used to do were gone, and I came to a point where I badly wanted to graduate immediately so I could go back to Manila. Sounds ridiculous, right?

But after staying here for a month, a realization hit me. I should’ve been enjoying my life here and being content. I should let things flow and love every single moment that I have here. And, so, little by little, I didn’t notice that I'd been falling in love with nature and appreciating its beauty more than before. The fresh wind that blows within my hair, the calmness it gives, and the silence of every corner of the trees.. oh! I'm in love with this nature, which captured my heart softly. Too dramatic, am I?

But anyway, what I also love about this place are the beaches. The waves that slowly moving, making a little sound. Bringing my soul into peace and letting my inner self to be healed.

Finally, I can say that I am doing great today and am hoping for the next day to come. I will probably end my blog here, and I hope you like and enjoyed it. Again, I am Crista, and I hope to see you on my next blog! Bye, everyone, and have a great day ahead!

Source:

[ireceived-p8250000]

October 21-27 2012

Intrams are coming up, and Aga is leading the cheer dance competition. Personally, I'm not sure how well we'll match up.

On Sunday, Mom and I went to the mall and bought a Fujifilm mirrorless camera. I'm really happy with it—the photos turn out really good, and I keep taking pictures of my parents and Ran. I love it so much. It has a good aperture and the photos are so lit! I started taking photos everywhere and even the ugly things look pretty. I used it in school so I pretty much use it for my blog. I started taking videos as well for my "a day in the life" videos. But maybe I'll tone it down for a video a day only. Not every day is special.

It was Regine's birthday, so there was a celebration at her house on Saturday. I haven't seen my non-college friends. Jess also said she's quite busy, so we're trying to meet up in November. Despite my excitement about my new camera, I must focus on studying, especially statistics.

[littlecarnet]

With summer coming up in my location, I start getting into a nostalgic mood. I had some incredible summers as a kid, from road tripping to going to visiting my relatives in Sarti to just staying home and hanging out with friends.

The times my family stayed home were memorable. This was in an era when the internet wasn't around yet. Gosh I hope this doesn't date me, but every summer night the radio would host a scary stories hour, sort of like today's creepy pasta. You could call in with your own creepy stories too. I'd have a tape player on standby to record them and play them back later for friends who missed them. My uncle also had a radio that picked up number stations and that was always so mysterious to me.

My friends and I would buy a bag of oranges and we'd walk to the beach either to just swim and pick up shells, or attend a festival. Or take a bus to the downtown and go to the comic shop, go to the arcade, get slices of 7up cake or a gelato, go to the mall, rent a karaoke booth, go to a photo sticker machine, go check out a local concert, make zines and copy them at the convenience store as well as send mail to long distance friends, go whale watching, or eat some fish and chips at the end of the pier. Sometimes there were workshops too. I went to a kiln house with a few friends and made dolphin figures. I learned how to work with silver clay and some rings. I volunteered at a community garden and brought home lots of produce like tomatoes and bitter melon, as I cooled off at home with mint tea, barley tea or halo-halo.

The only thing I hated was summer homework. Either reading a book from a list that had nothing I liked, going to a seminar where I had to listen and take notes from a local professor, or the least painful... do an at-home science experiment. Usually for this involved bug catching or keeping a mini ocean aquarium. I remember keeping a tiny starfish alive in a tank for an entire week and monitoring it. That was fun. I let it go back to the tide pool it came from.

Sometimes I recreate a day of those childhood activities during the summer. Especially the late night horror stories, playing games, and eating/drinking favorite stuff. It's a nice low tech way to relax.

My family is still planning out our vacation this year, we usually stick around San Diego or go up north to Monterey, staying either at Hotel Del Coronado or rough it at the San Simeon Campground. Both locations are just minutes from lots of fun places and are a compromise between my mom and I, as she's more city and shopping based, I'm more about nature and local museums. But we can definitely agree we both love the beach and theme parks. If we plan it right, I'll be able to celebrate my birthday there.

[thoughtsofadad-blog]

I want to be better.

WORK Ever had a feeling that you hit a dead end? Like you had a simple routine, but it's no longer effective? And that it brings more bad than good? Yeah, I'm right there. As mentioned, I work 5 days a week in the office and my offs fall on the weekend. Great right? Kinda ideal. When I first started here, it was all good. I've had fun and learned a lot of things. Had a blast with the year end party and Christmas party. We eat in the office when we have a celebrant and whatnot. But recently, things have been kinda stale. Like everything's turning to black and white. The worse part is, I'm not the only one who feels this way. Apparently, people in my team also feels the same. What's worse than that? There's no solution to it. I can't help but feel as if I'm the burden by summing up all of my mistakes. Heck, I don't even feel worthy to take a 15 minute break or ask for a leave. I don't know. It's been really draining these past few months. I've always hated this feeling and hoped that I wouldn't go through it again, but I've been dragging myself lately. And I know that it's one of the signs that a person is no longer happy, no.. willing to do whatever it is needed to be done. I want to feel the excitement I had before. But how can I if I'm being micro-managed? They tell you one thing and it becomes a different thing quickly. A backhanded compliment. Favoritism. Being frustrated with you not knowing a certain process they didn't even teach. No proper training. I used to think that the people are worth the stay, but apparently that reason's starting to deflate.

(I wish I finished school instead.) Meh, hopefully one day we'll all find our spark again.

-- FAMILY Coming home to them brings me comfort. Sometimes I come home to my boy sleeping on the sofa and my wife working. A quiet afternoon. Relaxing. OR I'd come home and see my boy riding his bike in the yard, yelling "Daddy!" as I walk to the gate. I feel that the stress I have from work drops. And I squeeze out the remaining energy I have to play with him. I love weekends. I get to spend the whole day with them. May it be just at home, relaxing or out at the mall. Sometimes we'd attend a birthday party. Literally takes off the stress you had for the week before. Recently, I feel like I've lost my touch. Or is it just that they're growing up? LOL. He has his own feelings now. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't. That's great and all, until my wife told me something. Apparently, they went to the mall on a weekday (I was in the office), and Rex wanted this piece of gummy something from the candy shop. She said "No", because she didn't have extra cash on her and Rex took the candy and ran off. Kinda alarming, right? (Bet it is). She ran after him and took the candy back to the store. So fast forward to yesterday, we went to the mall since it's a weekend. To be honest, I never had a problem walking into a toy store with him. He never splat himself to the ground just because I couldn't buy something he wanted. He never cried, never yelled, never had a tantrum because we couldn't buy what he wanted. But yesterday, he was trying to get a chocolate egg with a toy inside (You know those little KinderJoy surprise eggs? Those ones.), and I said we couldn't because we haven't eaten dinner yet. I was holding the one he was holding and then he let go. I thought, alright, he understood. But, Alas.. his hands were fast to grab the egg next to what I was holding and ran off. So I ran after him and caught him. I'll admit. It wasn't cute. I was actually angry at what he did and I think he felt that. We walked for a little while and his mom was looking at clothes. I took this opportunity to talk to him. With all my might not to raise my voice, I told him that it wasn't right. It's bad. And that's how a person would end up in jail. (Come on, it is, right???) He looked up to me with the most sorry eyes I saw in my life with a bit of tears on the side and he said "Sorry" and hugged me. I think to myself, "If I didn't need to go to the office everyday, this wouldn't have happened". I don't blame my wife, because she already has a lot on her plate. She works from home, takes care of Rex, fixes his school bag, school lunch. Sometimes she does the laundry while working. She even cooks for their lunch. So, yeah. She has a lot already. I blame myself. I haven't been there for either of them. He had trouble breathing recently. We thought it could be Asthma, since I had that, too when I was a kid. He would breathe in deep and exhale, like a very deep sigh. But according to the doctor, it's actually psychological. The simplest example the doctor gave is that when we (adults) think about something that bothers us, or remember something really sad or when we were afraid, we tend to do the same thing. In this case, it's the same with children.

I feel sad. I should've done better. I should've been there.

I should've had more patience. I want to be better. Not just for me. But for my family. Because they deserve the best and I want to give them the best. I want them to be happy. We don't come from a wealthy family. There's a life I want them to have. But how can I, if I'm not even at my best self? Honestly, I don't know where to go from here. I'm just going with the flow. Until next time.

[sunshinericciardo]

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 || 𝐃𝐑𝟑 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

part one

Summary: it's the day before your birthday, someone comes home to surprise you.

a/n: so i wrote this because yesterday was my birthday :)) anyway this is my first smut fic and @welld0nebaku really helped me get through this as well as proofread it, tysm bestie ily !! please lmk what you think and if you want a part two, i have some fun ideas for a part two.

thank you all so so much for the love on "i don't do romance, love" im hoping to get part two up later this week !! ily all xoxo

word count: 2.4k

gif credits to owner

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, unsafe sex (don't even think about it), oral sex, (fem receiving), mentions of sex toys, little bit of dirty talk.

DO NOT READ/INTERACT IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE AND/OR ARE UNDER 18 !!

You wake up on a Saturday morning to the sound of your alarm on the other side of the room. a grunt leaves your lips, heavily fighting the urge to turn around again and stay in bed a few more minutes. You sit up in the bed, quickly throwing a glance to the other side of the empty bed. You miss your boyfriend.

Your birthday is tomorrow and your friends are coming over tonight to celebrate, even though the only person you want to celebrate with is daniel. He's currently a good 6000 miles away from you. The thought of cancelling all plans has crossed your mind multiple times over the past week, the amount of times only increasing as the days went by. You left him in the states after his race, he has a lot of work to do in Los Angeles over the course of the week before leaving again for his next race in Mexico. You won't lie, the distance is taking a toll on you, your own job prevents you from supporting him from up close. You usually pick out three to four races spread out over the year to go with him, having a limited amount makes them more special and enjoyable for the both of you. However, it doesn’t make the distance easier. Especially in times like these, your birthday, it just simply sucks.

Your phone brings you back to reality. It is then when you notice your alarm is still going off. You quickly get out of bed to turn it off before answering your phone.

"Hi sweetie" You hear your mother on the other end of the line, you smile. Your mother is one of your best friends. You've always gotten along well and even though you and Daniel have moved in together three years ago, she somehow still feels it whenever you feel bad. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah.. I'm alright. Just have a lot of things to do for tonight." You mumble as you make your way over to the kitchen. You quickly make yourself a coffee and sit down at the kitchen island.

"I was actually thinking, since you didn't know what you want for your birthday this year, maybe we could go shopping today, get yourself a nice outfit to shine in. maybe get some lunch as well."

"Thanks for the offer, mom, but really. I don't need any new clothes nor do you need to feel obligated to give me a gift."

"Come on, sweetie. It'll be fun, a mother-daughter shopping trip. And besides, you've been so busy.. I miss you." The last part is barely audible. You set your mug down and get up from the stool.

"I miss you too, I'll pick you up in an hour. love you." You hear her chuckle at the sudden change of mind before you hang up and head to the bathroom to take a shower.

You pull up in her driveway an hour later as promised. Your mom is practically running towards your car. You drive off to the mall, chatting away with your mom about everything you both need to tell each other. Once you park your car you look at her.

Something is off, you just can't put your finger on it.

"What?" She asks, with that same smile locked on her lips.

"Nothing, let's go." You brush it off, knowing she won't budge in front of you.

After a few hours of shopping you manage to have gathered a complete outfit for tonight. The two of you are now headed towards your favorite café for lunch.

"So, darling, how have you been? How was america?" You look up from your coffee, smiling immediately when you are reminded of the last weekend.

"I'm good, actually. America was amazing, such a great place to be honest. Daniel loves the place so much, it's contagious." You start.

"But..?"

"But, I miss him, you know. My birthday is tomorrow and this will be the first time he's not there. Even though I saw him two days ago, I miss him so much, and with time zones and both our jobs we haven't even had a full on conversation about anything. just some short texts spread out throughout the day." Your mother grabs your hand over the table making you look up at her.

"Honey, it'll be fine. The love both of you have for each other is so magical to watch from my position, and you know what, your friends are coming over, you're going to have an amazing evening. Enough to distract you, I'm positive. but if you really don't want it, you can always stay with us for a few days instead of alone at home.” She speaks softly, making you smile instantly. Just as your mother had finished, the waiter came with the two plates for you and your mother, setting them down accordingly.

"I love you, mom." You smile, your mind already filled with the food in front of you. the both of you dive into your food.

While your mom is off to the restroom, you quickly go over to the bar to pay for both meals and drinks. "Don't tell her i already paid when she asks okay?" you whisper as if she'd be able to hear from the restroom. The waiter nods and smiles before you head back to your table, acting like nothing happened.

Once your mom is back at our table she asks the same waiter for the bill, thinking she'll be the one paying for it. The waiter returned a few minutes later with a smile on his face. "Ma'am, the bill has recently been covered by her." He spoke at a low volume. Your mom instantly looks at you while you're not able to stop smiling.

"Thanks darling, but it was supposed to be on me."

"Better luck next time," You chuckle and stand up to head out of the café.

You get back home after dropping your mother off. You turn off the engine of your car, getting out with all your shopping bags in hand. You walk through the front door and drop the bags with a sigh, instantly back in that slump.

You drag yourself up the stairs to run yourself a bath, maybe that'll make you feel a little better. You check your phone in the process to see if you have received any messages from your boyfriend. Unfortunately, to no surprise, you don't see any.

You: I miss you Dan..

You walk over to the bedroom you normally share with your boyfriend to grab a set of lingerie and a robe when you spot someone on the bed, laying with his back towards you. Is this real?

He turns around with that signature smile of his making you run towards him and letting yourself fall into his arms, not able to hold back any tears.

"When did you get here?" You sob in the crook of his neck. His hands sprawled on your back, needing your touch as much as you need his.

"About five minutes after you left?" Confusion couldn't be more clear on your face. How did he know you left? "Your mom was in on this, couldn't have made this work without her," He smirks. His hands move over to cup your face, to which you press your lips against his for a long, passionate kiss.

"I missed you so much, baby." He mumbles against your lips.

"I missed you too." You mumble in return, you pull back slightly to admire his features. Yeah, you have lived together for the past three years but neither of you can get enough of each other, whenever you're together the two of you are always in physical contact. You and Daniel are the living example of that clingy couple. Whether it's holding hands, resting a hand on the other's thigh or simply cuddling up to each other on the couch, you'll never be able to leave his side and neither will he.

"I've got a bath running. I'll be back in about an hour, okay baby?" You murmur, focussed on a curl in front of his face. You twirl the strand of hair around your finger, earning a kiss on your cheek from him.

"Can I join?" He mumbles to which you instantly nod. You basically jump off the bed, dragging him along to the bathroom. His hands never loosen their firm grip on your hips. He is in desperate need of your touch and you’re in no way complaining. Once the both of you are in the bathroom you turn around to face him, throwing your arms around his neck. His hands creep down to just under your ass, a sign for you to jump and wrap your legs around his torso. Your hand plays with the short hairs at the back of his head. His lips find yours in a kiss that started off soft and delicate but quickly evolved into a lustful kiss. You feel his teeth tugging on your bottom lip, a slight gasp leaving your lips, granting him access in a battle for dominance.

He pulls away moments later and rests his forehead against yours. “I love you so so much, baby.” He sighs. You move your head to rest in the crook of his neck, inhaling your favorite scent on the planet, him.

----

You and Daniel caught up on the last few days that you spent apart while in the bathtub, simply admiring each other’s presence. You step out of the water, quickly walking over to Daniel who is waiting for you with a big fluffy towel in his hands. He wraps it around immediately, holding you in his arms again. You feel his chin rest atop his head.

“When do you leave again?” You sniffle, immediately regretting it.

“I have three days.” His grip around you tightens, neither of you wanting to leave each other ever again.

You eventually release yourself from his grip and walk towards the bedroom to grab the set of lingerie you were intentionally getting when you were faced with your boyfriend just two hours earlier. You slip on your favorite black lace set before throwing a matching silk robe over it, not bothering to tie the waistband.

You make your way to your vanity on the other side of the bedroom to start on your makeup for the evening. A light layer of natural makeup is what you settle for when you feel two hands trace along the hem of your robe towards your boobs.

You look up through the mirror and let your head fall back against his chest, giving him a better view of your chosen undergarments. A groan leaves his lip, he leans down to place a wet kiss under your ear. “My favorite set, baby.” he groans, setting your core on fire. He pulls the robe off one of your shoulders, planting kisses along the way. One of his hands is now kneading one of your boobs, the other travelling to between your legs, slightly spreading them apart in the process. His fingers stroking you through your already soaked thong.

“Mhm, always so wet for me baby.” He whispers in your ear before spinning you around on the vanity bench so you’re facing each other. You drop the robe from your other shoulder as he releases your boobs from the bra. Moments later his lips are sucking one of your hardening nipples, a moan escapes your lips and you let your head fall back. You let your fingers run through his damp curls when Daniel rids you of your thong. He runs a single finger along your folds, earning a loud moan from you.

“Please.. Dan- AH” You nearly scream when he enters a single finger in you. You feel him chuckle against your nipple.

“So needy for me, baby.” He leans up to kiss your lips before lowering himself to your core, lifting one leg over his shoulder in the process. You feel a second finger enter you at the same time his lips find your clit. You feel the knot in your stomach tighten already, letting you know you’re close on your limit.

“Fuck- baby, I-I’m close already.”

“Hold it for me baby.” His words are vibrating against your core, making your moans louder and more frequent.

He pulls his fingers out, licking them off before lifting you up from the bench and moving you over to the bed. He presses his lips against yours, giving you a taste of your arousal. He drops you on the bed and pulls down his boxers, letting his dick slap against his abs. His head dips between your legs, letting his tongue run through your folds. He lifts your leg up again and aligns himself with your entrance, stroking himself a few times before entering you slowly.

“Feels so good baby.” He moans when he bottoms out inside you. When you bite your lip he leans down to kiss you. He starts thrusting in a slow and steady pace but picking up the speed in no time.

Pants and moans fill the bedroom as his fingers find your bundle of nerves again, getting you even closer to your high. “Cum for me baby” he breathes, setting you over the edge. Your walls clenching around him which is enough for him to reach his high, coating your walls in his cum.

He lets you ride out your high before he pulls out and lets himself fall on top of you. “I love you baby.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, you’re not able to form decent sentences yet so you just nod and cuddle up against him in response.

—-

A few hours later, you and Daniel have finally gotten ready for your friends to arrive.

“Babe, come here.” Daniel calls you from the bedroom. You don’t question it and walk over to him. You get to the room and see him with a small box in his hands.

“What is this?” You chuckle as you walk up to him.

“Open it. Don’t worry, you’re getting your actual present tomorrow.” You take the box from his hand and peel off the wrapping paper.

“You didn’t wrap this, did you?”

“Defenitely not.” His grin couldn't be bigger.

When you finally get rid of the wrapping paper you see what he has bought you. A vibrating egg toy.

You look at him and immediatly see that smirk on his face.

“Put it in, it’ll be fun tonight.”

This man will be the death of you.

[taelor-alexis]

Dear Billy,

Word count: 2.2k

Authors note- In this Billy was never racist or homophobic, he may have been a little mean though.

Dear Billy, Oct. 6th, 85'

It's been 94 days since you left me. It's been 94 days of me crying my heart out. I have good and bad days. It's been 94 days since I last saw your face. It's been 94 days since you went into that mall fire. I just know you were helping get people out. That's the person you were, always trying to save others.

It's been so hard without you, without hearing your voice, without hearing you laugh. It's been hard not hearing you call me your baby, its been so hard thinking about how I'll never hear that again.

I'll always love you, Billy.

We had our ups and downs, a lot more ups than downs. You were my everything.

I miss you every day. I can't stop thinking about you, you are constantly on my mind. I slept in your room for the first month of you being gone. It was so hard walking in there and smelling you. I wore your clothes everyday. I still do. I wear your shirts to school, I wear your cologne. I miss you so much Billy. My heart aches thinking about how I'll never get to feel your skin on mine again. I don't think I savored every moment I had with you enough. I will always love you. I will always dream of you. I don't think you will ever leave my thoughts.

I'm starting to see a therapist, I don't like her, I know we would have made fun of her together. She says what I'm doing is part of the healing process. She's the one who said I should write and read to you these letters. I hope it will fix me.

I miss you.

I love you

Love, y/n.

Dear Billy, Nov. 30th, 86'

I made a new friend, his name is Eddie. I know you always told me to make more friends.

I think you would like him. He says he's sorry for what happened to you.

The days are getting easier to walk past your old locker. Everyone gives me looks like they feel bad. You were the King of Hawkins High, even beat out Harrington. It's almost our 2 year anniversary. In my head we never broke up, you never left me. In my head you’re coming back just in time for us to celebrate.

The nights are getting better, I'm not crying as much, I'm laughing more. My mom says I'm coming out of my depression. I've been on a lot of medications, the doctor wanted to send me to the loony bin after you died. The medicine helps me forget that you're gone. I still miss you everyday. I still love you so much. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you.

I saw you in my dream last night. We were so happy, we were dancing around my room like we used to. You were so silly, but only around me. I only saw the real you, the really you who loved me.

I'll visit you soon.

I love you

Love, y/n.

Dear Billy, Dec. 25th, 85'

Merry Christmas! I tried to go visit your sister and your step mom, turns out they moved somewhere else. Max wont even look at me in the hallways of school anymore. I think she's sad, like me. I'm going to take you a drawing later. I know how much you loved my stick drawings of us.

The way you used to keep them laying around to room. I found one in your leather jacket, you kept it in the inside pocket, to hold close to you.

Always an artist you used to tell me.

Now looking back, I think you were making fun of me.

Eddie and I have gotten really close, he's a good friend to have around. I know you guys would be best buds. He's funny like you, he's not as scary though. I know you always loved to feel like you could protect me.

I miss your handsome face, god you were so handsome, Billy.

I miss your hugs, I miss the way you would lift me into the air. I miss it all. It's been pretty lonely here. My mom said I have to move on some day. I don't think that day will ever come.

My Christmas wish was for you to come home, saying your got lost or had amnesia and wandered off.. but it hasn't happened. My therapist said it won't happen, I'm just reaching for a possibility that will never come.

I still have dreams about you. You look happy in my dreams, we look happy. I miss you lots.

Love you

Love, y/n

Dear Billy, Jan. 1st, 86'

It's 86' baby! New year new me! Winter break has been so much fun! I went to Niagara Falls, it was frozen so not as cool as it could have been. You would have liked it I'm sure. Tonight I'm going over to hang out with my new friends, they know your sister. I just hope Max and I will be friends again. I ran into her while she was visiting you, she just looked at me and walked away :( we used to hang out just the two of us, before you would come home, i wish we could do that again.

I really wonder if you can hear me when I read you these letters.

Heaven must be so beautiful, even more beautiful now that you're there. I don't have much time to write today, but I'll write you tomorrow.

Eddie said he was going to teach me how to play a fantasy game. Seems kinda lame, like something we would laugh at. Anyways I miss you!

Love, y/n

Dear Billy, April, 20th, 86

I'm sorry I haven't been to visit you recently. I'm sorry I haven't written you.

I've been so busy with school, this year is kicking my ass.

Today is national weed day, or something like that. I'm going to go smoke with my friends. I think I like it because it takes me pain away.

I found a picture of us, I had booked marked in a book. I think it broke me all over again. I hadn't seen that picture in months. I miss you so much Billy. Coming up on a year pretty soon. I'm sure that day will be awful.

I miss you

With care, y/n

Dear Billy, June 7th, 86'

Billy, you have to forgive me. I made a mistake.

I feel awful. I feel like I cheated on you. Eddie took me out on a date. I'm not sure why I said yes. Maybe I've just been lonely. But I had a really good time. I feel so gross thinking I did something like that to you. Knowing you would have never done that to me.

I think I like him, and it makes me feel so ugly inside.

I haven't spoke to Eddie in days, he keeps trying to talk to me, but I can't look at him.

He makes me feel better, so I'm caught in the middle of you and him. He makes me forget everything. I'm not sure I'll even give you this letter. I'm not sure when I'll visit you. I feel like you are judging me from up above, I feel like I'm breaking your heart.

I'm not sure why he makes me feel like this. It feels like when you and I first started dating, all those emotions.

I'm just so stuck, Eddie comforts me on my bad days when I can't stop thinking about you. He's been such a good friend, and I think somewhere blurred in the lines of him being a good friend.. I fell for him.

I'm sorry please forgive me.

From, y/n

Dear Billy,             July 4th, 86'

Wow, it's been a year since you died. Today was so hard for me. I just stayed in my room, listening to the sound of fireworks, they have been going off all day. I guess no one can wait till it's dark anymore. I'm on new medication, it's been helping a lot.

I know you would be proud of me for taking care of myself.

My mom says I can't keep writing you letters. She says it's not healthy. She says I need to move on, and I think in a way I have.

And it seems fitting to write you this letter, on the year anniversary to when I lost you, to tell you you will ways be in my heart. And I will always have you with me. But I have to move on.

So here it goes.

You were my first love, my first everything. You made me whole, and when you died.. you took that part of me with you. I have been missing something ever since you left, missing that part of me that makes me whole. For the longest time I saw black everywhere I went, the world had a giant shadow looming over it. But now the sun has started to peak through slowly. I feel so much closer to being whole. I have found a sense of peace, a way to move past my trauma. Everyone painted you as this bad guy, but I knew the real you. The real you who liked to be spooned to sleep, the real you who liked me to braid your hair. I knew who you really were, so I don't need anyone to tell me who they thought you were.

It's been a hard year and I know you would want me to move on. I would want you to move on if it were me who died. I know you wouldn't want me alone and sad forever. You would want me to be happy. To move forward with my life.

I will always hold you close to me, Billy. You will always have a piece of my heart. I will always love you, I will always miss you. No one could ever take my love away from you.

This will be my last letter to you. Though I will never forget you, I have to move on.

I will forever remember our late night calls, our midnight diner snacks, your laugh, our inside jokes. I will always remember you.

I'll see you one day.

I love you.

From, y/n

Y/n put down her pen, wiping the tears she had pouring down her face, a few of them splashing the note book paper. Her tears blurred some of the words on the page, letting the blue ink smear across it.

Y/n felt sick knowing she was never going to see Billy again. She felt sick Knowing she had found love seeking comfort in another.

It was never her intention to fall in love with another. She thought Billy would hold the key to her heart always.

Billy may have not been the best person, but he was good to y/n. He was a damn good boyfriend to her.

Eddie knew y/n would always feel a type of way about Billy. He never tried to make her forget about him. He understood what it was like to lose someone you love.

"Hey baby, you ready?" Eddie asked softly knocking on the door Frame of y/ns bedroom.

"Yeah" y/n sniffled out, turning to see Eddie.

She folded up the last letter, writing Billy's name on the envelope and slipping it in.

Eddie promised to take her down to Billy's grave tonight. To say one last goodbye, before moving on with her life.

"We don't have to go" Eddie said walked over to y/n while she sat motionless at her desk.

"No I want to, I don't think I can fully give everything I have to you, until I say goodbye. It's not fair to you" y/n said looking up at Eddie with her puffy eyes.

"Okay" Eddie whispered holding his hand out for her to take. It felt good to Eddie that she was willing to push past Billy, so she could give all her love to him.

Somewhere along the way of Eddie and y/n being friends, they had grown to like each other more than friends. Y/n hated that feeling, she felt as if she was betraying Billy. But once the snowball of feelings started to roll down the hill, there was no way for y/n to stop her feelings. Eddie was her new person, her new love.

They sat silently as Eddie drove them to the cemetery. He parked on the road, letting y/n go by herself. Y/n felt her heart sink to her chest, seeing so many flowers left on his grave already.

Billy didn't even like flowers, that's why y/n never brought him any. She didn't want to be rude, but y/n picked up all the bundles of roses moving them off his grave. He wouldn't have wanted them there.

Sitting criss cross in front of his headstone, she read aloud the letter.

"So I guess this is goodbye" y/n choked out letting her tears flow freely. She placed a kiss on her hand, then pressing it to his headstone.

She stood leaving the letter for him, and walked away quietly. It was almost 11pm, when they estimated he passed. She felt guilty leaving him like this.

When she got back to the car, Eddie looked at her with sorrow in his eyes. "You gonna be okay" he asked pressing his hand to y/ns thigh. "I will be now" she smiled looking at her boyfriend.

Eddie was so understanding, he really did care for y/n. Now they could start their journey together, without. Anything holding them back.

"Let's see if we can catch any fireworks" Eddie smiled putting his car into drive. Y/n buckled herself in, excited to start this new chapter in her life.

As they drive away, she gave one last look at Billy's headstone, she was finally able to move on.

She leaned over and planted a kiss on Eddie's cheek, Making him smile. "What was that for?" He asked looking back over at his girlfriend who was smiling from ear to ear. "For always being such a good friend to me"

"Did I just get friend zoned?" Eddie laughed focusing his eyes back on the road.

"You know what I mean, Munson" y/n rolled her eyes, laughing.

"Yeah yeah, let's go get a hot dog or something" Eddie said speeding his way to the Hawkins fair.

Y/n had finally felt free, she didn't feel guilty holding hands with Eddie, she didn't feel guilty kissing him.

Eddie made her feel whole again, filling that deep void Billy left for another man to fill.

Y/n could finally love Eddie unconditionally.

[serxeinxx]

"first new year" :: bakugou katsuki

↻pairing:: bakugou x fem!reader [Pro-heroAU]

↻warnings:: cussing, FLUFF

↻wc:: 1651

↻a/n:: HEYYY!!! THIS IS MY SMALL GIFT FOR ALL OF YOU!! I KNOW THAT THE ORIGINAL SERIES HAS BEEN SLOW DOWN BUT REST ASSURED! IT WILL BE OUT SOON!! THIS IS JUST AN IMAGINE I THOUGHT OF MITSUYA AND BAKUGOU AND YOU SPENDING TIME TOGETHER JDJFBFJFJFJ— I HOPE U ENJOY!!!

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 🥳🥳

The night of the 31st of december, here the newly formed bakugou family we're having a hard time understanding on each other. Since it's their first time celebrating new year as a one complete family, YOU we're worried about mitsuya and katsuki.

THEY'RE NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER.

It stressed you out. They both had the same perception on things, and attitude. But why aten't they talking? Mitsuya came to the kitchen to come at you. "Hm? Still shy around your dad?", you started.

Mitsuya stammered to what he wanted to say. "I, yeah. I guess i am.", he admitted it. You sighed. "Look, just start off with one topic and try to work it out.", you tried on givibg advice to your son taht who has a trouble on communicating on people. "Fine. I guess.. i'll do that.", he said and left the kitchen.

Soon, you finished cpeaning up, you went to th living room to check the situation. An idea strucked on your head. And formed a small smile on your face. "Guys, can you guys buy me some confectionary sugar?", you asked. They both looked at you. "Did we just bought them 2 days ago?", katsuki asked. "Nope. I kind of forgot about that and i just remembered it just now.", you reason.

You mentally thought that this plan of yours will work out. "Geez, you're so forgetful woman.", he groaned. "Whatever, just buy them. Bring mitsuya with you.", you added. Mitsuya widen his eyes and looked at you.

You winked quickly, signalling him taht this would be a chance for him to talk something normal to his dad. You gave bakugou this: 'pls bring him pls bring him' kind of look. "Come on kid, your annoying mom wants us to buy her something.", he said. "Good! Be back here as long as possible- bye!"

The door shut immediately as the spikey haired pair got out from the house. Mitsuya followed bakugou all the way to the car.

"did she really made us buy a confectionary sugar?", mistuya started. bakugiu shook his head in disagreement. "no, it was obvious that she was lying. i was tge ine who bought those.", he replied. "probably helping the both of us to talk normally.", he added. Mitsuya hid his fist as he knew that bakugou woyld know what was your plan for tye bkth of them. "uh, shit- uh, how, did you like mom?", he started.

"how i? oh, that's easy. her idiocy.", he answered andet out a chuckle from his mouth. Mitsuya raised an eyebrow. "her idiocy? that's all? there's gotta be some other reason.", he asked again, he was unsatisfied by this father's answer.

bakugou softly grunted as he tries to think other reasons why. bakugou himself is not of a word type of guy. Rather, he would appreciate things by actions. "other reason, she's hella stubborn. Let's start with that. then, her patience. come on kid, i can't think of anything else.", he lastly said.

mitsuya adjusted himself from the car seat. "say, did you know that tons of guys knocked on our doors just to date mom?", he stated. bakugou rose an eyebrow. " really? did she.. date any one of them?", he asked. mistuya laughed, genuinely. "nah, she respectfully rejected them. All this time i knew what's going on inside her mind. She's too predictable sometimes.", mitsuya said. Bakugou nodded as he drove off to the mall instead.

As you heard he car drove off, you simply just returned on cooking. You happily hummed as you were doing it. Bakugou's pets came along beside you, You were relived that they both immediately liked you or else, you would be using bakugou or mitsuya as a shield everytime yoi came across to them. The two are big ones, they both isanely looked like wolves. From what you heard from bakugou and kirishima, they're literally wolves. You just continued to deny it as long as you can. Like, wo he hell has pet wolves inside the house?!. That was the first thougt you had ever since you knew bakugou ahd a pet wolves.

"aw hi king.. you want some treats?", you cooed king. He just simply sat down like a good boy. You gave king a treat but the other one was jealous. Nitro, was the most jealous one, He usually clings on mitsuya. You had no idea why. He growled at King who was onlyy minding his own business. You grabbed another treat for Nitro. "There you go.", you said as you threw it a bit and nitro caught it in mid-air.

You returned again from your work and tried to finish it as quickly as possible. After that, you took a nap on the couch.

You heard murmuring voices. You slowly opene your eyes. You potted two Spiky heads on the kitchen. You looked at the time and you immediately jumped. Sadly, you fell and let out a cuss and a groan. "shit. oww...", you got up and walked towards the kitchen. The pair heard your voice as they both panicked.

"where should i hide this?"

"idiot! in the cabinets!"

"who are you calling me an idiot?"

"you are!"

King and nitro barked as the commotion in the kitchen occurs. You yawned. "What are you two-"

Your eye widened to see them holding each other's collars on their shirts. You grabbed two knives and haded them out. "god, if you two were about to kill each other. Then kill each other.", you said, but with anger. You turned around and started to walk away. "I didn't expect you two would fight like toga and dabi. Fix both of your attitudes or no new year's eve.", you simply walked away from the kitchen and headed straight to the second floor's bathroom.

You took a hot shower snce it ws freezing. You didn even expect them to behave ike this. You went inside of you and bakugou's room. You changed out in some much more warmer. You hoped that, mitsuya and bakugou are good now. You wouldn't them to fight.

You went downstairs to see the table has alreay been prepared. The two of then we're sitting down on the couch as the lowered both of their heads. You rose an eyebrow.

'what is this?', you thought.

'they're as if got possessed by some ghost that they'll be acting like this.', you thought again.

You sat down on the couch in the opposite direection. Mitsuya first handed out his phone. You held it and looked at the screen. it says:

'Pro-hero: DYNAMIGHT, and his son, spotted in the Musutafu mall as they bicker and assumingly spending time together'

offcl.deku: two kacchans! ;:^)

c.chargebolt: daang Look at 'em gjhwmdohgwu

todo.shouto: this could be us @endeavor

you snorted at the last of the top comment. you immediately realized that you we're supposed to be mad at the two. "so you we're saying..."

"yes."

you immediately turned around and laughed. the duo looked at you and scrunched their faces. "oh, i guess i was wrong. But! i don't get to prepare the dinner table now HAHA!", you said while laughing. you wiped the small tear coming out from your right eye. "but i'm glad that you two gotten pretty little close. it breaks my heart to see mitsuya slowly becoming daddy's boy.", you teased mitsuya. you gave him a small smirk.

"HA? WHEN DID BECAME A MOMMY'S BOY?!"

"IT WAS OBVIOUS YOU TSUNDERE!"

"NO IM NOT!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

"oi. stop shouti-"

"ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

In an instant, a hand landed on your head and mitsuya's. Bakugou sighed to look the you two. "Just stop bickering will ya? The foods are getting cold.", he reminded. you and mitsuya stopped bickering for the sake of peace. this time, bakugou grabbed something from behind of the pillow's couch. Boy let me tell you, if mitsuya's gift box he gave to you indirectly was extravagant, THIS ONE, is ten times more extravagant. "this better be confectionary sugar.", you mumbled. of course that was a little joke, come on. you looked at the pair who was eager to see your reaction. of course, they both keep it lowkey and just made a neutral face to cover the excitement.

you started to open this and to see a bracelet. you couldn't say anything. you don't know if this is an excitement or something else that is beyond explaining.

"this... is too much.. you idiots.", you cried.

The dinner finished. The three of you had a great time. Mistuya himself was a bit more talkative now. You're happy for his developement. "come onn, midnight's goona strike at 10 minutes. we should get ready.", bakugiu said. the three of you stood from from the dining table and clened up. it was quick though. soon, the three of you gathered at the backyard. Mitsuya grabbed his tri pod and hid the DSLR camera and placed it at the back where you can't see it. He was secretly recording it.

"guys! it's almost 12!", you called. bakugou went towards you direction and rested his whole arm around your shoulder. Mitsuya also came right after bakugou walked. "geez just kiss already.", he commented. Bakugou laughed atvhis comment. "don't worry squirt. the entire country will witness it.", he replied while he ruffled mitsuya's hair. this time, mitsuya let it pass. for a change of course.

Minutes after, the firework flew and exploded in beautiful patterns. then after that, little fireworks started to fly on the sky, showcasing another beautiful pattern. "Happy new year!", you said.

"happy new year it is."

"woo, happy new year.", mitsuya unenthusiastically said.

and also, nitro and king howled as loud as they can.

without a warning. bakugou, locked his lips onto yours. "happy new year, y/n", he said while kissing you passionately. of course, you closed your eyes and held his face. "happy new year, katsuki."

"ew, get a room you two", mitsuya teased.

"m-mitsuya!"

↻tags::

@lalalemon101 @peacchfuz @pluviophilefangirl @uwiuwi @marshmallow12435 @omkie @barbs12 @jazzylove​ @animesuck3r @justme2042 @hawksismybabydaddy @aomi04 @l0kisbitch @call-me-drartemis @gloriousdonutnut @5sos-wdw @cloudsgathering @ambi0311 @xiaexactsblog @atsushiki @dabiisgay69 @lordmypantsaresocool @let-love-bleeds-red ​ @ssc7514 @eimivalla @rosemoonshine13 @simpxxslutxx @arael-asuka @babygirlxupxnext @ayooooooooooooo @randomblob000 @untitled42864 @bunnibabe @cyuuupid @the-shota-king-masayuki @that-levi-kenma-kinnie @psdck88 @blubblekey @sanemishina @that-yaya @rebekah-trader @lazyafgurl @troubledwithlife @tjmaxx556 @meliii0 @pvt‐only @hornehlittleweeblet2 @devilsbooksworld @thirstybunzy

© 2021 maialoveskatsuki. All Rights Reserved. Do not repost. Do not plagiarize.

[lalka-laski]

Do you like shopping alone? I prefer it honestly. The only difficulty is that I don't drive so I need someone to get me to the store/mall

Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t? They all do

Have you ever written a song? I did often as a kid. Well "song" might be a loose term. More like a musical poem? Ha

Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? Not anymore, no

Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? Maybe somewhere

What do you think about mullets? I don’t have an opinion really

Would you rather date an actor or an athlete? Actor, for sure. Artsy types have always suited me more than athletic ones. Plus Glenn's theatrical enough that he might as well be an actor, ha

Who is your shortest friend? Christy maybe. I think she's like 4'11

Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? A few

What grade would you never want to repeat? Um, I mean really none of them?

When was the last time you blushed? I blush like CRAZY, so it's hard to tell

Who is one person you met and automatically didnt like? That's rare for me. While I may be judgmental or skeptical of someone, it would take a real, in-depth interaction for me to decide I dislike someone.

Do you know anybody who has a birthday in November? Yep

Is there anything you need to buy at the store right now? No, I'll have everything provided to me at the clinic for the next few weeks

Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? Glenn has a million consoles in our living room

Is it true that you hurt the ones you love the most? After the events of this past week, I think so...

What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? Um if there's ANY kind of creature, human, or animal in my closet I'm freaking the fuck out and burning the place down Did you do anything productive today? I showered and packed. That's all I had to do How do you usually wear your hair? Lately in a high pony or bun

What movie coming out do you really want to see? My family is going to see Belfast tomorrow. I'm so excited to see the homeland come alive on the screen!

Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your Moms? I'm paler than everybody so I'd say lighter. Although only slightly, she's still pretty pale.

What is the best thing about the beach? Swimming, lounging... I want to say drinking but I need to stop giving answers like that

Have you ever done another person’s make-up? Honestly I don't think so. I'm too nervous

Do you get snow days off of school/work? Absolutely not. Certainly not at this job.

Have you ever spied on your neighbor? Ha, yes. I had binoculars and a notebook and the whole shebang as a kid. Just call me Harriet The Spy!

Do you think they’ve ever spied on you? I wouldn't be surprised What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? Brown

When was the last time it rained? Probably last week. I don't really know, I haven't paid attention to the weather. Too much else on my mind.

Honestly, do you double dip? In my own food, yes. In shared food, THAT'S MY NIGHTMARE

What color is your birthstone? Ruby

Do you save your old school work? I do, especially essays and stories I'm particularly proud of

What is one thing you don’t like sharing? Men? Lol

Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? Anywhere

Do you dress to impress? Ha, take a look at any of my outfits this past month or so and you tell me

Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? Big Daddy is a favorite in my family so I gotta go with that

Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Zach Morris!

Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Yep. And one of my favorite nighttime routines was "Head Work" in Highlights magazine which consisted of riddles, brainteasers, conversation starters, etc. My mom would read us a few questions each night and we DELIGHTED in it.

Would you be considered more of a teacher’s pet or a class clown? Teacher's Pet for sure Do you have any family members who are mean to you for no reason? Yeah...

Have you disappointed anybody recently? Everyone. But I've also made them proud with my decisions to correct that behavior so it's a Lose/Win?

Have you ever been hit on through text message? Yes What color are your nails painted right now? They aren’t

Do you have to do any yard work? Ha ha ha

What’s worse, ignorance or stupidity? Ignorance

When was the last time you had ice cream? What kind was it? Just today I had Chocolate Panda Paws

[mmmeeeeeeeoooooowww]

"Happy birthday!" She said.

"Ah,thank you," I replied,not knowing that it is going to be the worst birthday ever.

It was on Saturday,my 13th birthday,which means there would be badminton training. I had a plan to tell my dad that I don't want to go to badminton on that day and just chill out at home. But no. He already made a plan saying that I will and must go to badminton training. It kinda sucked. I never liked badminton...

So instead,I went,without arguing. After the training,we went back home,took a shower and my dad said we'll be going out to eat and celebrate my birthday. So I thought, 'Maybe today isn't such a bad day after all. Maybe it's just bad in the beginning...' but nooooo. I was wrong.

On the way to the mall,it was quiet at first,but when we were nearing the destination,my sister suddenly asked me "What are you going to get for your birthday present?" And I said "What birthday present?" Then she said "You know,it's your birthday,so what are going to get?" And i just said, "Ah, I didn't thought about that..."

I actually never wanted a birthday present. The reason why was because,every time,when I saw a book I liked,I always asked my dad to get me the book. Especially when there are book sales,me and my mom would get lots of books and my dad would say that it'll be my next year birthday and I promised him that it will be my next year birthday. But I've never kept the promise...

So on that time of the year,my birthday, I wanted to keep the promise. I don't want a birthday present. I just want the day to get better,not just birthday presents...

So,after my sister asked that, I told her I'll think about it. But after awhile,she asked me whether if I am thinking about it and I was like, "What am I supposed to get? Another book? I can't ask for another book shelf since I already have two..." And then my dad said, "Another book? Why do you always want books for your birthday?" And I replied, "Because I don't know what else to get," and he said "But I thought last year you bought a book that is supposed to be you this year's birthday gift" and I wanted to scream saying 'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? MY DAY IS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH FOR ME AND NOW YOU'RE TAUNTING ME?? I ALREADY SAID I DON'T WANT A PRESENT BUT YOU JUST KEPT ASKING. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???' but, obviously I didn't... I just shrugged my shoulders saying "I don't know,"

So,after that,we went to the mall, and then we also went to the bookshop. My sister said she wanted to get revision books and so we went. We went inside,my sister was looking at the revision books,while I just walked alongside my mother,looking at books with no intention of buying any. And when my sister went to pay up, I was standing beside my dad and my mom,waiting for her turn to pay.

Suddenly my dad asked me, "Where's your book?" And and I said "I didn't get any," then he asked "Why not?" And I replied "Because I thought you were joking," then he said, "No I wasn't,go get a book," and so I did.

I went to the fiction aisle. I searched for the book I have been eyeing for a long time that I never mentioned to my parents before. I took the book and went back to where my parents were waiting for me. I showed my dad the book. And he said, "This book?" "Yes," I replied. Then he said "What's so nice about this book? Are you sure you want this book? Why do you like this kind of book? Why not take something that benefits you? Like your sister, getting revision books huh?" After he said all those, I just nodded my head,not wanting to hear more,tears started coming,but I held it in. Trying to keep a smile on, I nodded my head as in agreement to anything he just said. After that,he told me, "Nevermind,go pay up. Go get the card from your sister," seeing as my sister had already paid,she gave me the card. I stood in line waiting for my turn,holding back tears. My dad and sister went outside to wait for me while my mom stayed inside with me. I kept thinking, 'What's wrong with me. Why am I crying? It's my birthday, I shouldn't be crying. Plus, just crying over a stupid book. This day is just going to be the worst' I tried so hard to tell myself to stop crying. Saying it's useless to cry about this little thing. But I just can't stop myself from shedding a few tears.

It's useless to cry,isn't it?

After that,when I went outside with my mum,we went to get dinner. I held my mum's hand, while my sister and dad went ahead,going to the direction of the restaurant. I held my mum's hand tightly, letting her know that I'm not ok. For the whole day, I only walked beside her,not wanting my sister and my dad to look at me,for they would scold me for looking like that.

Making a sad face.

After we had our dinner,we went home,and I still felt sad. I went to bed early,and when everyone was asleep, I started crying. I couldn't stop. I felt so sad and hurt that I just don't want to wake up. I fell asleep while crying. And when morning comes, I just don't want to wake up,come out of my room. I just felt like staying under my blanket and wishing this feeling, would just go away.

I just couldn't help myself.

When Monday came,it was time for school. I felt relieved that i can go to school and stay away from my family for a while. But other than that, I felt more relieved to know that I can go to school to tell my best friend what happened. Hoping that she'd comfort me. I told her. And she said, "Don't worry. You may be having a hard time right now,but one day it'll get better. It's all going to be ok," and I felt a little better because she doesn't criticizes me about everything I tell her,unlike my family. But then ever since that day, I still couldn't shake the sad feeling away,as if it scarred me so bad. I tried being happy but it just wouldn't go away. I go to school, plastering a fake smile, pretending to be 'okay', but I wasn't. I am not okay. After what happened that day, I just don't have the heart to smile anymore.

It just hurt so much that I am not okay anymore.

Even until my next birthday. My 14th birthday. I just couldn't smile anymore. It just hurt so much to smile. I don't even feel excited for my birthday anymore like how I used to when I was a kid. My parents were taking pictures of me with my cake, saying "Smile~" and I tried. I really tried. But I just can't smile properly. And they just asked me,"Why aren't you smiling? Why can't you smile properly. Just smile. How hard is it to smile?" And I just said "I am smiling. Isn't this a proper smile?" I said,trying to smile a happily as I can. But I couldn't. It's just so tiring being happy all the time.

Now every time when it's someone's birthday,it just reminds me of what happened on that day. I tried to forget about it,saying that it's the past. But it just hurts so bad. Recently,it was my sister's birthday. And I wanted to feel happy. Because its supposed to be a happy day. It's her birthday. No matter how hard I try, I just feel this pain stabbing in my heart. It just hurts so bad.

To me,it's not a 'happy' birthday anymore.

[oldfarmerbillswife]

I'm thinking I'm doing all of this for the wonrg reasons, but I don't want to go back to what I was doing before. I'm proud of my ability to avoid the garbage brought into my house for 8 days in a row, but we went to the mall today and I really cried yesterday just thinking about the pretzels I'd have to refuse. We don't go to the mall often, and when we do it's my favorite part because it reminds me of the times we used to eat them at the malls in the bay area when I was a kid, and it's a warm comforting feeling to eat them every once in a while. Today, I somehow-somehow- managed. I didn't buy those pretzels.

We went to Applebess afterwards though to celebrate my Mom's birthday and I was just really about to cry beside myself in the car, and I had to give myself a pep talk in the bathroom once we got there not to ruin her occasion. She's on the diet too, but she's such a pro, been doing it on and off since 2012, for health purposes alone. And I think that's why she does so well at it. It's not about the weight. And it wasn't for me either until a few days ago when I started freaking out about it too much.

I got on the scale on Tuesday and it showed I went down from 119 to 114lbs, (I'm 4'10). It really suprised me and made me glad, and I think from tuesday on I've been obsessing over the numbers so much, too much, to a T, and now it's hard not to.

I NEVER used to hate my body in the mirror. I mean, surre, I always knew my sister was the skinny one and I was heavier, but not like dangerously overweight. I've never been picked on. I've never had those experiences growing up. I think it's been ever since I work at this stupid gym, this stupid high profile gym at that, its not some Planet Fitness where judgement isn't allowed, where people can truly start their fitness journeys without judgement from other people. This gym that I've been working at for 4 years is a "high end" gym where people who are already fit go to stay fit.

I'm constantly facing mirrors at every angle, scruitinizing every inch of myself. Walking back and forth down the lonnng aisle to get my supplies constantly, between scores of people working out. There are so many girls there who are skinny and beyond skinny. Girls that are able to wear clothes I could never dream of getting away with. Girls that I see are being asked out on the daily. Girls who make me look at myself and just get disgusted-- when I was never disgusted with before. [Not the girl's faults ofc, it's not their fault that I have OCD and can't shut off my brain, especially of negative thoughts.)

Ever since Tuesday, I've been finding myself so unhappy with my torso to the point of not wanting to wear dresses anymore. There's no reason for that! Being skinny doesn't mean I'm more attractive. It doesn't mean any guy will actually talk to me. (The primary reason guys don't talk to me is because I AM SCARED of men approaching me, and when they do I freeze.)

And then I thought "What if I finally make it to 99lbs and I still don't like the way I look?"

I have to take me for what I am right now, at this moment. This body was given to me by God, and that alone gives it worth and beauty. And that is the primary reason I ought to TAKE CARE of it. Not "get skinny," but to get HEALTHY. I lost track of my initial goal in as little as 4 days, but I need to remind myself it's HEALTH that's the important part here. Physical and obviously mental too. I hate the whole "self love" cliche, truly I do. But as a child of the Lord, I better treat myself like it.

I think I'll eventually break this diet, but I don't see myself reverting back to the sloth of my eating habits before this, at least not fully. Absolutely yes I WANT FRIES. I don't know about chips, maybe once a month, but not every week like before 🤢. I want to be healthy but not miserable.