#and i’ve made new memories every november 7th since and yet… i miss him and who i was or who i THOUGHT

[robertsbarbie]

x

[gimmeyoon]

Tag Game

tagged by: @ddaenggtan whom I love and is one half of two spider-man’s pointing at each other

:: nickname(s): B, BayB, Sherbert (Based on my real name this is risky), Bob (Because my phone autocorrects BB to Bob and so my best friend and I call each other that).

:: bias: In BTS, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jungkook (Because I am a whore)

:: blood type: I genuinely do not know, I think A+ .....

:: favourite food: Tofu and rice from a very specific Chinese place near my undergrad school OR from Sticky Rice, Asparagus, Pasta of any type, Tofurky sandwich

:: birthday: March 11, 1997

:: zodiac: Pisces Sun, Aries Moon, Sagittarius Rising

:: pronouns: she/her

:: hair length: OKAY right now it is SO LONG I’ve had short hair since I started senior year of High School, and now, 6 years later, my hair is an inch or 2 past my shoulders (I think I should cut it)

:: height: i am 5′3″ and one time I said “tall people should always be afraid” as I stood on a stool because BEING THAT HIGH UP IS SCARY 

:: a crush: I have a new crush every room I walk into I am hopeless also what ever happened to Alex the regular that I blushed around why did he stop coming to my Starbucks Alex I miss you

:: what do you like about yourself: I like my style and my confidence. I took me a really long time to feel good about myself, but I feel like I’m finally as confident as everyone always thought I was. I like my creativity and how empathetic I am. 

:: left or right handed: I am right handed but live in fear that I was supposed to be left handed based on my mom’s haunted memory of taking the marker out of my left hand as a child and putting it into my right and immediately regretting it.

:: list of 3 favourite colours: CURRENTLY: pastel pink, neon green, and pastel purple

:: (right now) eating: nothing, but I have a Mediterranean grain bowl from Panera in front of me  for later so I could use their wifi

:: (right now) drinking: Starbucks venti iced coffee with soy, light ice, and 3 pumps of cinnamon dolce syrup.

:: i’m about to: start planning for Spring semester which starts tomorrow! 

:: listening to: my Korean music playlist, which is named 음악, because Google translate told me that’s how you write music in Korean, if it’s wrong please tell me I don’t want to be embarrassed. It’s my most listened to playlist and more specifically I am listening to Tell Me What To Do by SHINee

:: kids: Does my cat count? I call her my baby and her name is Mochi. Or is this like do I want to have them? Yes, I have wanted to be a mom since I was very little, but that’s also maybe because of child hood trauma that we do not have time to unpack, anyways I always pictured myself as a mom but like not as a wife? So kids even if I’m a single mom. 

:: get married: LMAO according to the above I am not like that invested in it, but also I am down to get married one day. I’m genuinely happy alone and I don’t actively seek out romantic relationships BUT ALSO I WANT TO BE LOVED DAMN IT. Idk one day but no time soon.

:: recent phone call: My mom because she face timed me and I could tell it was a butt dial and I was right. 

:: (have u ever) dated someone twice: No. I am the type of person that is done when I’m done and my mind isn’t going to be changed. Also I never liked anyone I dated that much OOP.

:: been cheated on: Probably, like they swore to the end that they didn’t, but he immediately started dating the girl (my best friend) that I swore he was cheating on me with SO LIKE EMOTIONALLY YES.

:: kissed someone and regretted it: Literally one of my boyfriends, and yet even after regretting the kiss I DATED HIM WHAT THE HELL

:: lost someone special: Yes. No way to make this entertaining or funny sorry.

:: been depressed: We are thicc into the effects of seasonal affective disorder SO YES (I’m sorry that effects my work on this blog and is proof that being depressed TM does not make you a better artist I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT NOW)

:: been drunk and thrown up: OKAY so yes, the first time was my freshman year of college and I WAS WASTED, and then not again until MY SENIOR YEAR where I would be LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DRINK. I learned the hard way that when I am out and my friend says WHO WANTS TO DO SHOTS if my immediate answer is yes, it should be no, because I never want to take a shot unless I am already too drunk. 

:: had glasses or contacts: I have both! I’ve had glasses since the first grade and I got contacts in the 7th grade, which I prefer because I like seeing in my peripheral.

:: had sex on the first date: well as a Virgin TM, no

:: broken someone’s heart: Yes, and I am not sorry OOP

:: turned someone down: Yes, and it is always awkward I hate it

:: cried when someone died: Yes, every time

:: fallen for a friend: Yes, refer back to I have a new crush every room I enter 

:: (in the last year have you) made a new friend: YES, I moved to a whole new state and made friends on this here website

:: laughed until u cried: Yes and its one of my favorite emotions

:: met someone who changed u: I think everyone we truly get to know and meet changes us in some way.

:: found out who your true friends were: Yes and that shit hurted

:: found out someone was talking about you: Probably, I am pretty oblivious to things like that, so I could genuinely never realize. 

:: lips or eyes: Eyes I guess. I’ve never thought about it but I guess I think more about eyes than lips when it comes to a person. 

:: hugs or kisses: Kisses are great but HUGS hit DIFFERENT. You can kiss random people and it means nothing except hey you’re hot, but THE THOUGHT of the person I love hugging me tight EUPHORIC

:: romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous romantic gestures

:: hookup or relationship: Relationship, even though like to think I’m a bad bitch that can’t be locked down, I also need to be comfortable with a person before I can be intimate.

:: first best friend: from birth until the beginning of high school, growing apart from her was worse than any break-up I’ve ever had and I still think about how my mom held me in the car while I cried about the end of our friendship. 

:: surgery: nope

:: sports i joined: I did Softball and basketball until high school, played JV volleyball for one year in the 8th grade, and then after that I was a Cheerleader.

:: do u believe in yourself: Sometimes. Recently when Fall semester ended I thought I did really poorly on my final papers, but when I presented in both classes people were really impressed. I had even started to wonder if trying to get my PhD was unrealistic. I think it was the reminder I needed that I am smart and strong and I can do most things if I set my mind to them, so I’m dedicated to believing in myself in 2020.

:: miracles: I don’t know. Maybe. I hate to take a strong stance and say no, but I’ve also never seen one. 

:: love at first sight: I believe in like at first sight, but not love. Love is a verb and requires work. Love is so much more than just seeing someone, it involves looking into their soul and saying I recognize the light in you and I love it. 

:: heaven: I was raised religious but idk man. It’s crazy because of how strongly I felt about this 6 years ago.

:: do u have any pets: My parents have a dog that I lived with until 6 months ago and I have a cat. I want another cat uwu.

:: do u want to change your name: No, I love my name. But my alias on here, I think about changing it all the time.

:: what did u do for your last birthday: I went out with my friends, and did really cute makeup, and was really feeling myself. 

:: what time did u wake up today: I got to sleep in since I had the day off, so 10:00 am.

:: what were u doing last night at midnight: Sleeping my dude, I passed out at like 10:00 pm

:: something i can’t wait for: my whole life I’ve been waiting to live the life I want to live, and I know this is a sad thing to say, but I still feel that way. It’s hard to change my mentality, but I’m very future focused. 

:: last time u saw your mum: AHHH recently! My parents came up last week and I got to see them for the first time since November, and my mom cried WHEN SHE WALKED INTO MY APARTMENT 

:: what is one thing u wish u could change about your life: I wish I could finally make a solid group of friends where I currently live, but I am very nervous about it and I don’t put myself out there ooof I also would like to stop procrastinating the things I want to do like my YouTube channel and I want to stop being depressed and I want to go to NYC more often

I’d like to tag…. @strawbxxymilk @honiboyyoon @helpitskpop @sketchguk