#and i’m glad he put it in the discord and not on twitter where stans would jump to defend him

[oceantail-oceantail]

context for this post:

Dream posted this pastebin in the speedrunning discord as a full apology to the mods, the community, and specific people (Geosquare, Couriway, Korbanoes).

(Korbanoes isn't mentioned in the pastebin because Dream forgot, but he can't edit the pastebin, so he just apologized in the discord)

transcript under the cut.

I thought I would write up this apology to the speedrun community / discord / mod team, as my document I posted on my twitter was more of an explanation than an apology and I felt the need to more directly apologize.

--- Speedrun Mods ---

I have spoken to many of the speedrun moderators in private and apologized in the past and recently for my behaviors back when the speedrun drama was going on. Although I won't make the specifics of these apologies public, I will directly apologize to them here. I'm sorry to the mod team for causing a shitstorm on Twitter and Youtube and elsewhere with my aggressive and condescending tweets and language. I have explained my mindset during the time period, but that doesn't justify or excuse any of my actions or words. I am truly sorry for the way that I reacted and wish that I could have controlled my emotions better. I'm sorry for any negative things this may have caused for you, I accept responsibility for not doing everything that I could have to prevent them. I can explain my mindset during these situations, but intention is not as important when there was a negative outcome due to my actions. I'm sorry, and I want to continue to make it up to the mod team in any way that I can.

I believe that Geosquare deserves my biggest apologies. I've spoken to Geosquare since, and we have made up with each other and are on good terms, I will not make the contents of our discussions public however I will apologize to him directly here. I'm sorry for the way that I acted towards you, as under no circumstances is that kind of behavior okay. Tweeting out for millions to see calling you a clout chaser and accusing your intentions of being vindictive couldn't have done anything but cause harm. I regret essentially everything that I said to you in private, and in public in the speedrun discord or in tweets. I was full of anger and fear and I let these emotions get the best of me while not at all caring about the effect my actions would have on you as an individual. Although this was almost a year ago, I'm sure that you still face problems today due to the size of my audience and the harshness of my words. I apologize and I want to make it up to you in any way that I can. Since this issue I have made an effort to better control my negative emotions, and be more clear and direct about avoiding hate and harassment. I hope that these are things that can be noticed, and that I can continue to improve upon. Having a large audience means you have to be responsible with it, and I wasn't at all during the situation in December. I am sorry and although you have said you have forgiven me, I still feel terrible and hope that we can better our relationship going forward.

--- Speedrun Community ---

As a Youtuber, I always felt like a bit of an outsider to the speedrun community. I tried my best to promote top runners and make friends with speedrunners and participate in discussions in the discord and elsewhere. I tried to involve the community in competitions, and I tried to do my best to assist the mods with cleaning up the leaderboard from cheaters. I really wanted to be a part of the community because it was something that I loved doing and I really became attached to it. Even before the speedrun drama, there was an instance where I falsely accused a popular runner "Couriway" of cheating. There was a misunderstanding and I jumped the gun in saying something in their Twitch chat about doubts that I had regarding their recent run. I don't think I ever got a chance to apologize to them, so I just want to do so here. I'm sorry Couriway for incorrectly accusing you of cheating. I completely understand how that must have felt and I am extremely sorry. I should never have said something in your Twitch chat, and I should have completely left it up to the mods to do their jobs. I regret this and I regret not having apologized to you sooner. I won't attempt to justify my actions here, but I have added you back on discord and if you would like to chat more about it I am completely willing.

As for to the community, I know that due to this situation being one of the biggest dramas that Minecraft has ever had, it brought a lot of hate and strife to the community. I contributed directly to this by arguing with people in the discord and on twitter, and fueled fans of mine by saying hateful things. I am sorry for this. I understand being doubtful of my explanation, and don't think it's unreasonable to assume that I am being dishonest. While I was not aware that I was running any disallowed modifications, that is completely my fault. I should have been much more reasonable and level headed and done my duty as someone submitting a run to the leaderboards. I explained my mindset during this situation in the other paste, but I want to make it clear that it was not at all a justification or a way of excusing the things that I said or did. Although I believe that there was poor communication on both sides, at the end of the day it is completely my responsibility to make sure that any run I submit has integrity and I failed to do so. I was completely in the wrong, and I argued like an idiot for months not wanting to even explore the fact that I could be. I tunnel visioned and because of that, I ended up arguing an unintentional lie and causing harm to people who were just trying to be fair. This could have been for many reasons, but I blame my ego and the fact that sometimes I just can't accept when I'm wrong. There is no one to blame but myself, and I take responsibility for that. The way I used my influence while saying negative and aggression provoking things was not okay at all and something that I am ashamed of. Since almost a year ago, I have been doing my best to reflect on this and improve as a creator that is new to the spotlight. I have nothing but respect for the mod team, speedrunners and the speedrun community. You are not obligated to forgive me or to accept my apology in any way, but I am sorry for the damage that I caused and wish that I could go back and change the way things went. I like to think that I have had a positive impact on Minecraft speedrunning overall, but that's wishful thinking including the stain that this situation put on the community. I am sorry.

I took all of my runs that I have ever submitted down from speedrun.com personally myself, including the ones that were still up and verified. I also messaged a member of the mod team requesting that I be banned from submitting runs in the future even though I was told before that this wouldn't happen. I think that is a fair result, and I have no plans on submitting runs in the future and haven't since October of last year and since my run was removed. I never intended any harm to the community and I still want the speedrun community to flourish as much as it can. I pledged to donate money I made from the response video to speedrunning, and I did to a live speedrunning tournament that featured a lot of the top runners last month, Break The Record Live. One of my goals since joining the community was to try and help speedrunners turn speedrunning from a hobby into a livable job, and I tried to accomplish that by frequently raiding, donating to, and bringing up runners throughout the community. I still plan to do that, and although I know money doesn't show intentions, I would like to pledge an additional $50,000, that I will be donating to speedrunners of all sizes from the Minecraft community on Twitch over the next month or so.

The reason that I decided to make the post that I did the other day was to provide closure to the community on an issue that should have been resolved almost a year ago. I hope that this accomplishes that if even a little bit. Again, I am sorry to the mod team and the community for all the problems that came from this drama and hope to continue improving as an individual.

- love dream

[princessofprocrastination]

Don’t Listen To Them (Sapnap)

MASTERLIST

summary : body shamers. they’re the reason why some people feel bad about themselves. 

warnings : this talks a lot about body shaming, and maybe a lot of cursing. 

a/n : although i wasn’t there to see it fully, twitter had been saying that the reason sapnap hadn’t been using facecam was cause people were being really mean about his looks and weight. so i thought this you sapnap simps would enjoy this. 

it’s been a tough a couple of weeks for sapnap. he ceased all use of facecams because he’s been getting hate. 

it breaks your heart to see him so down, feel so worthless. you reminded him that you will always be there for him, no matter what. 

and although it would calm him for the time being, it only helped for a split second. 

you wanted to see him happy again. lively again. you told him that there are still so many people out there who support him, and that he should ignore the harsh comments. 

you knew how hard that would be, you understood him taking his own sweet time to heal. but it broke your heart to hear him silently crying in the bathroom whenever you came over to cook for him. 

that’s another thing. he wouldn’t eat, not even a little. at first, since you didn’t live near him, you thought maybe facetiming him to remind him to eat was enough, but deep down you knew he would only tell you he would eat but he wouldn’t after he hung up. 

then, you tried getting him to eat in front of you, on facetime. that worked for a while. you encouraged him to eat, even if it was a little bit. but it didn’t last long until he gave you excuses that he’s too busy to call you. 

you soon had enough of it. you knew he stayed at home alone nowadays so you bought yourself a plane ticket to texas, to make sure he’s still breathing and alive at least. 

you heart ached while you sat in the plane to him. you thought about how he’s struggling alone right now, without anyone to help him physically. his friends are all over the world, no where near him. 

you wanted to let him know that there are still people that loved him. beyond his looks. you’ve told him that multiple times but he still has trouble believing you. 

you didn’t blame him. how could you? it’s not his fault this happened to him. no matter how many times he’s told you it is, you would never believe him. 

he’s told you multiple times to leave him, to go away. but you are a stubborn girl. you wouldn’t leave him be. never. 

you sat in the very uncomfortable plane chair for a couple hours until you finally landed. 

you heart skipped a beat at meeting him again. it’s been a couple months since you saw him in person. facetime calls don’t work the same after a while of dating. 

you two met through mutual friends. specifically, george. you two met when you turned fifteen and he was nineteen. you’re eighteen almost nineteen now. you two practically grew up together but you hadn’t know each other for long. 

since he was so much older than you, about 4 years older, you thought it was creepy that both your mums introduced you two to each other at that time. soon you found out that he isn’t that bad. 

you two know so much about each other and you loved him dearly. people even thought you two were dating when george started blowing up on the internet. you two laughed it out since he wasn’t your type. 

you hated saying things about body types since you knew how it would feel if someone commented about your body but george was built like a stick. sure, he was taller than you, but many people are already taller than you. 

you are not the tallest person. growing up was tough as so many people would tease you about how little and petite you are. but you grew up to embrace it. 

although you are petite, you still liked guys who are of a bigger build than george was. not muscular, no. 

george was tired of hearing you whine on how single you are that he sat you down and talked about you and sapnap going on a date together. 

at first, you told him no. you didn’t know if the distance would work. you lived in london and he was well over in texas. to you, it was the only deal breaker. you knew sapnap was a nice guy. 

the reason you ‘broke’ was because george had told you to just try, and if it didn’t work, he’d give up then. you agreed, feeling bad and annoyed at the constant nagging at you. 

your butt was sore from sitting on that plane chair for hours. you slightly stretched as you walk out to hail a taxi. 

you got into one, told the driver the address and there you went, another long journey to meet your boyfriend. 

the closer you got to his house, the more nervous you got. you didn’t think all of it through. what if he didn’t want to see you. 

you pushed aside all the stupid thoughts. 

you paid the driver once you’ve reached his place. your heart beating out of your chest. 

you knocked on his door, your luggage set aside. you heard footsteps from inside the house as you waited patiently. you looked down on your shoes as you waited, telling yourself to calm down.

the door opens, making you jump slightly. sapnap now standing right in front of your eyes. 

“wait, what? why-” you cut him off his questions as you jump on him to give him a big hug. 

you started tearing up when you heard him silently crying in your ear. it had been too long since you two have seen each other. 

“i’m here, bub. i’m here.” you told him. 

he held you tighter as you said that. he couldn’t believe that you were here. that you hadn’t left. 

-

days later, you two had spent hours together, talking and catching up with each other’s life. 

you spoke about it. you told him to tell you everything. it was the only way he could let it go. he needed to let it all out. 

you held him as he cried, telling you that he wanted this to end so badly. he told you to leave, go as far away from him as possible. but you told him that you wouldn’t. not in a million years. 

now that it had been more than a week, he has finally cooled down and was ready to use facecam, only if you would stay with him. 

he played for a while with his facecam on, you sitting on the floor with a blanket next to him, but making sure the stream couldn’t see you. 

you noticed he was holding back. on talking, laughing like his usual self. it hurt to see him like that, but you are determined to make it better again. 

he turned off his facecam for a while, and you could hear him becoming like himself again. that sent a painful pang in your heart. 

as you read through twitter, you could see that his stans saw it too. they saw it all. you liked a couple tweets about trending a hashtag to make him feel better. you put your phone down next to you, and looked at your boyfriend for a while. 

you sighed softly, not trying to interrupt his still ongoing stream. you rose up to stand slowly, trying not to distract him. 

with your blanket still draped around your shoulders, you walked up to him on his gaming chair. 

you pulled his chair back slightly as you got closer. 

“what are you doin-” he was cut off as you straddled him on the chair to cuddle him. you pulled the blanket to cover both of you and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, resting your head on his shoulder. 

you sighed as you cuddled closer to him. 

“i’m always here for you, always.” you whispered in his ears. 

you kissed him on the lips before going back to your position in his neck. 

he hugged you tightly for a while before pulling his chair back in between his desk to continue his stream.

“sorry, i was afk for a while, but now i’m back.” he told his stream. 

he played for a while more until you got sleepy. you heard him clicking away on his keyboard. 

“you should go to bed, princess.” he tells you.

you shook your head in his neck. “i want to be with you.” you replied to him, before finally drifting off into sleep. 

what you didn’t know was that soon after you drifted off, he turned on his facecam again, wanting to show the world how adorable you were in his arms. 

your face was still deep into his neck, arms around his waist now that you’ve drifted to sleep and couldn’t keep your arms up for that long. 

sapnap adjusted your blanket to cover you a little more as it moved to fall slightly when you moved to squeeze him.

his friends on discord started to tease him as they saw his stream. 

“i can’t believe i’d ever say this, but you guys are so perfect together.” george told him. 

safe to say that twitter and instagram blew up with the ship comments and encouraging words. 

he’s glad that he had met you, and that you stuck with him through the tough times, even when he told you to leave.