#and i’d love it if you specified a muse on your end BUT!! i’ll use a fun lil randomizing wheel if i need to so dw about that too much

[quietlyblooms]

i really wanna write chiyo putting her hands on people ( affectionately 💜 but she’d brawl too 🔪 ), so maybe… maybe like this for a lil something when i’m home. softly capping at 3.

[featguler]

held my bluff this time ────── a confession long due.

♡ ────── pairing : kylian mbappé x reader ♡ ────── tags : reader's gender, ethnicity, nationality, and appearance is not specified. reader works @ nike and meets kylian there, they also live in paris. set in a bar, OPEN ENDING!!!!!! ♡ ────── wordcount : 1,041 ♡ ────── notes : it seems like all i write for is kylian omfg...... idk he's my muse (LMAO). another good luck post: good luck for tonight, boys... i trust that you won't disappoint me and that i'll see you in the semi-finals. i have morning shift so i wont be watching... the french nt is not paying my bills. title is from garden gate by mon rovîa ♡ masterlist.

“Spain?”

Just as he sees you settle in on the bar with a glass in your hand, Kylian decides to put on a brave face and approach you. Assigned to him a few months ago, you have been the one he turns to most in his Nike sponsorship shenanigans—business meetings, merchandise design, shooting locations; everything he could think of, you were there for him.

“Spain,” You confirm with a light chuckle, drinking a bit of the beverage in your hand. “Barcelona, to be precise.”

Damn it, Kylian thinks, fuck Nike.

“If the transfer were to Madrid, I’d invite you out to brunch every other day.”

You laugh, a melodic titter that leaves your throat so freely like angels on their off days. “Used to the Madrid life already, Kylian?”

He blows a breath, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s not France, but I’ll make do.”

“You’ve got to,” you sigh, crossing your legs as you lean your back behind to the bar. “Real Madrid, huh? Viní Jr, Bellingham, Tchouaméni…”

“Kylian Mbappé,” he adds softly, drawing another laugh from you.

“You’ve had a hard season,” you turn to him with a gentle smile, patting his knees—and Kylian stiffens, the contact sharpening the air he was breathing in, but he prays to god that you don’t notice. “I’m happy for you.”

“It’s a new chapter,” he nods, clearing his throat, still facing you. “Funny that fate both brings us to Spain.”

“Should’ve brought me to Madrid, huh?” You joke, “Not sure if you’d settle for any Barcelona clubs.”

Kylian shakes his head. “Real Madrid is more than a dream,” he mutters, “It’s a destination. One I dreamt of since I was a boy.”

Your smile scrutinises him. “Well, Madrid is, what? Two hours away? Three hours?” You take another sip of your drink. “We’ll visit each other.”

“We will,” Kylian agrees. “Leaving Paris, huh?”

For a moment, Kylian raises his eyes and gazes across the crowded room—a kind of revel where everyone knows everyone, and yet no one really knows anyone at the same time. A part of Kylian does not believe in the stars; fate is not written in them, fate is written in what you do.

But tonight, he is feeling romantic.

What is it, but fate, that brings you together?

What is it, but destiny, to have you both be transferred down south?

He has felt this before. The churning feeling in his stomach, reminding him of his adolescent days, holding hands with the victim of his puppy love—the excitement in his veins whenever your name pops out in conversations. Though now, he’s not sure that he is able to declare his love to you like he used to do in school.

Kylian, still, is unapologetically thunderous. His face does not hide his heart, and his heart is definitely plastered on his sleeves. But he has to thread on this gently. You are not vulnerable, by any means, but he fears that the string connecting the two of you is.

“I have to confess,” Kylian has never seen his voice to be this vulnerable, full of hope, full of that certain kind of craving to be also known, not just loved.

You looked tender under the bar’s dim lighting; in your hand is a glass of neat whiskey, room temperature, and you tilt your head as the background voices in the bar loudened, prompting you to glance away from him, leaning in closer to listen in.

He takes in a deep breath—which turns out to be a big mistake, because the scent of your faded perfume mixed with beer that another colleague had spilled on you earlier into the night instantly spun his head around.

“I have to confess,” he repeats, this time a bit more groggily. Kylian gulps in, and you nod to encourage him. “Over the months, I have grown to care for you…”

You lift your head, looking at him with both eyebrows raised, and fear rushes into Kylian. But he charges in, headfirst. He doesn’t hold back. If he sees an opportunity, he would walk straight into it; if he sees an open space between the goalkeeper’s hand and the goalpost, he would kick the ball straight in.

“I’ve grown to care for you,” he repeats again, “And I have grown fond of you.”

He is sure you heard him, despite the loud stereos and conversations around you. He stares deep into your eyes, and fights the overwhelming urge to look away.

“Fond…” You mutter; Kylian watches as you ponder about his choice of word. For a second, your gaze wanders to the bottles of wine lined up neatly stacked on fancy shelves. He watches as you inhale.

“What I’m trying to say is—” When he sees you struggle to come up with a response, Kylian tries to interrupt, but you cut him off.

“What you’re trying to say is,” you straighten your back, placing your drink on the bar, swallowing in your own hesitance it seems, “that you developed an interest in me.”

“Developed an interest?” He chuckles, his shoulders relaxing. “Yeah, I guess you can say that.”

He sees you think and decides to correct himself.

“Well, rather than an interest in you, I would say that I developed an interest in pursuing a relationship with you.”

The business lingo tickles his throat, but all the same, he finds the situation amusing. His heart races under his ribs��he feels them hardening as he waits the eternity you take to gather your thoughts and answer him.

“A relationship where—,” you hesitate, and he sees only now how flustered your expression looks, “—where we act as lovers.”

“Where we become lovers,” he murmurs, agitated, now feeling the youth and naivety crawling up his words. “But that takes time.”

“That does take time,” you whisper.

“I guess,” he begins, “what I’m asking you to do is… give me a try.”

Kylian presses his lips against each other, leaning towards you the way you leaned towards him earlier.

“Us, if that makes it easier. Give us a try.”

You clear your throat, and Kylian does not move from where he was sitting.

“Trying us on,” you mutter over his words, facing your lap.

Kylian inhales. He holds back his tongue.

[versadies]

farewell, love.

welcome to penpal service’s first ever collab event wherein writers are welcome to participate! 

since october has recently started, i’d like to celebrate my favorite month by throwing a collab event that contains nothing but angst — oh the horror !

if you’re interested (which you should be) already, please make sure to read the rules and guidelines before participating <33

deadline for requests to join: november 10, 2022

deadline for fics: november 20, 2022

guidelines –

participants should only be genshin sfw and yandere writers 

your goal? make an angsty fic! happy endings are not welcome here, make your readers cry 😈😈😈😈

the deadline for your fic is on november 20, 2022 so feel free to finish it before or on the date in your timezone. 

minimum words should be 500, but there’s no maximum of words so feel free to go crazy. 

there are no limits on how many characters and prompts you want to write. however, you’re not allowed to write child characters if it’s romantic. 

it’s optional for you to use 1-5 prompts in one fic!

any kind of formats (headcanons, drabbles, longfics, etc.) are allowed, feel free to do whatever you prefer.

send a message to either in my inbox or in tumblr chat if you’d like to join and i’ll add you to the participants list! (will reblog whenever i update it) 

if you want to suddenly change your prompt, character, or etc. during the event after being accepted — feel free to do so as long as you let me know about it !

rules –

fics should be genshin character x reader !

read my dni first in my carrd before participating. 

please make sure to specify if you’re doing a yandere fic or a sfw fic when you request to join so i could label it in the upcoming masterlist ! 

nsfw is not allowed.

if you happen to see your name in the participants list, please reblog this post with the tag #farewell-love as acknowledgment. 

make sure to tag me as well as use the hashtag #farewell-love in your work/s so i can add it to the masterlist right away !

no backing out once you’ve sent a request (i’ll only allow it if you have a valid reason to leave) 

make sure to specify what contains in your fic (trigger warnings, spoilers to quests, etc.) so readers can know what to expect. 

feel free to ask me questions or clarifications and i’ll happily answer.

instructions –

read the rules, guidelines, and my dni list before deciding to participate. 

send an ask to me in the following format:

“hi, i’d like to join in the farewell love event!

character/s:

prompt/s:��

yandere or sfw:”

prompts –

“why did you lie to me?” 

“i hate you! i hate you so much!”

“stop it, you’re hurting me!”

“i think… i just got poisoned..” 

“i should’ve known not to trust you.”

“you’re… bleeding.”

“was it all worth it?” 

“you’re a monster.”

“i wish i never met you.”

“don’t die on me.. please.” 

“i don’t love you anymore.” 

“you don’t look at me the way you look at them.”

“where are you?” 

“you don’t love me, do you?”

“go away.” 

“everything i’ve done, it was all for you.” 

“why did you do that?” 

“kill them/him/her.”

“i can’t do this anymore.”

“help me.”

“it’s either me or them.” 

“i will never be enough for you.”

“what’s wrong with me?” 

“just leave me alone.”

“i thought i could trust you.”

participants —

@scaralvr @yandere-romanticaa @vamphrs @genshinarchives @psuedo90sdreaming @teabutmakeitazure @flokali @k4iiwrites @witch-hazels-musings @teyvattales @kunikame @frozenangelheart @cherrisma @77th-hutao @minty-stays-tired @baeshijima @lov3rmir @versadies (yes im joining too hehe) @silverwritesthings @aqualesha @user-charisma @somberrock @the-travelling-witch @stormii-writes

© VERSADIES. please do not plagiarize, repost, or translate anywhere. banner in this post is made by me but i did not make up all prompts.

[sherbet-shark]

Music Prompt list Twst Ver.

[Ft. Sherbet’s Spotify playlist]

As a celebration of my over 160 followers open this! This event will be going from May 31st to June 15th PT time. This is roughly a 2 week timeframe. I will answer all of the requests both prompt and normal on the day of June 15th and later due to my family and I going on vacation. I will prioritize the reqs that are easier to answer but again no promises.

Do not hassle me to answer your requests as again I am on vacation.

I wanted to try something out and give my followers something, so I came up with this after getting inspired by a friend. Yes, I listen to country and a lot of early 2000s and 2010’s music. It’s a nice nostalgic trip. This is just scratching the surface of my playlist tbh asdjkl

Rules: You send me the emoji and number attached to the song list lyric line(s) you want to request, plus a twisted boy. The “//” means it can be a two-in-one deal, or if you wish, you can specify which line you want and if there are two people in the line, as I’ve outlined, request another boy too! But the same overall rules apply to my general rules, which are here. I may use these lines as dialogue or as part of a story. You may only request a limit of two prompt lines per request.

Also, to note, there is a flirty section I will write kissing and holds, but that is as far I will go. Also!! Just because there are pronouns in the below lyrics, it doesn’t mean anything.”

╰┈➤ Example of req: “1.🌸 “I wanna dance in the dark and never stop. We’re gonna light up the night” + 10.💧 “Time to face the music. I’m no longer your muse” for Kalim, please thank you!

╰┈➤ Example of req w/two characters: “ Can I please request Ace and Mc for 🌸 10. “Ay, no! He’d never go out with a skank like that. Please tell me your joking.” Character B: “Okay! Just wanted to see what you’d say.”

Key:

🌸- Fluff

💧- Angst

💋- flirtatious

~🌸 - Fluff song section~

1. “I wanna dance in the dark by, and never stop. We’re gonna light up the night.” Dancing in the Dark by Rhianna

2. “If you’re tossing and you’re turnin’ and you just can’t fall asleep, I’ll sing a song beside you and if you ever forget how much you mean to me.” Count on me by Bruno Mars

3. “Those three words are said too much they’re not enough.” Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

4. “Show me how you justify Telling all your lies like second nature. Listen, mark your words, One day (one day) You will pay(you will pay). Karma’s gonna come collect your debt.” Sheep in wolf’s clothing by Set it off ft. William Beckett

5. “Thank you to the one who caused her heart to break. I’m thanking you for givin’ me a soul to save. Thank you to the one who let her get away.” One by Lewis Capaldi

6. “Out of the lions den I don’t have to pretend (and it’s too late) The story’s over now, the end. I wish I knew then, what I know now.” Wide Awake by Katy Perry

7. “Sorry for coming through the window. Dreadful etiquette I know.” [Character B] “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.” Yo girl by Heathers the musical

8. “Yeah, boy. You shine and you can’t even help it. Yeah, boy your eyes can make the moon jealous.” Yeah boy by Kelsea Ballerini

9. “How long have you known about it? Did you know from the start?” Every note by Mystery Skulls

10. “Ay no! He’d never go out with a skank like that. Please tell me your joking.” [Character B]“Okay! Just wanted to see what you’d say.” // “No me diga!” No me Diga by In the heights Musical cast

11. “We were made for each other, out here forever. I know we were, yeah yeah.” // “I love the things that you do.” When you’re gone by Avril Lavigne

12. “I’d walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us. And we’ll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way.” Hey there Delilah by Plain White Tees

13. “Livin’ on a Prayer, take my hand, we’ll make it. I swear Woah- oh!”Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

14. “Je danse sous use pluie d’étoiles, Tu es ce que j’attendais. C’est ça, l’amour.”-> “I dance under a star shower (or starry sky) You are the one I’ve been waiting for. This is love.” C’est ça l’amour by Luce & Mathieu Boogaerts

15. “I will not ask you where you come from. I will not ask you, neither should you. Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips.” Like real People do by Hoizer

16. “Say you will, Marry me. Mhhhm.” Marry me by Train

17. “At least out loud I won’t say I’m in love.” I won’t say I’m in love by Susan Egan

18. “We took the floor and she said Don’t you dare look back, keep your eyes on me. I said you’re holding back.” Shut up and dance with me by Walk the Moon

19. “These guys don’t appreciate that I’m broke. [Character B] “Riffraf, Street rat, Scoundrel!“ -First Character- “Just a little snack guys.” One jump ahead by Brad Kane and Disney

20. “It’ll do magic believe it or not. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo.” Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo by Verna Felton

~💧 - Angst song section~

1. “A little, but I’m hoping it might kick start me and my broken heart.” Me and My Broken heart by Rixton

2. Can’t wait to hear what they call me, Call me names and makeup all these stories, I would kill for a life that ain’t boring.” // “I’m a lot of things but not sorry.” Psycho Mia Rodriguez

3. “I wanna make you feel wanted and call you mine, Wanna hold your hand forever and never let you forget it, I wanna make you feel wanted.” Wanted by Hunter Hayes

4. “Before you go. Was there something I could’ve said to make your heartbeat better?” Before you go by Lewis Capaldi

5. “I can’t be what you want me to be. Believe me this one time.” Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons

6. “When you’re fast asleep, in dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams.” A dream is a wish you heart makes by Ilene Woods and Cinderella’s Mice Chorus

7. “We’re like fire and gasoline. I’m no good for you, you’re no good for me. We only bring each other tears and sorrow.” // “I'm not gonna break down and call you up. When my heart cries out for you.” Tomorrow by Chris Young

8. “Is she the one that I couldn’t be for you? Is she the one? Mhm. hate you’re the one, that I’ll never get over, that I wanna get closer to.” I wanna know by NOTD ft. Bea Miller

9. “When you can learn to live without it and go along not thinkin’ about it I’ll tell you something.” The bare necessities by Phil Harris and Bruce Reitherman

10. “Time to face the music I’m no longer your muse. In another life, I’d be your girl.” // “We keep all our promises, be us against the world.” The one that got away acoustic version by Katy Perry

11. “I forgot to say out loud. How beautiful you really are to me.” // “When did I become this obnoxious?” Please don’t leave me by p!nk

12. “I’ll wear my black suit, black tie hide in the back. I’ll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask.” // “I’ll try make it through without crying so nobody sees. Yeah, she’s gonna get married but she don’t wanna marry me.” Marry me by Thomas Rhett

13. “Love is just a tool. Too remind us who we are. And that we are not alone, when walking in the dark.” // “I hope someday we’ll sit down together and laugh with each other ‘Bout these days.” These days by Rudimental ft. Jess Glynne, Macklemore and Dan Caplen.

14. “Cause I don’t wanna fight no more. Even when the waves get rough, I don’t wanna see the day I don't wanna see the day we say we've had enough. And I don't wanna fight this war.” Battleships by Daughtry

15. “They don’t deserve you. I tried to scream but my head was underwater.” // “Could’ve been a nightmare but it felt like they were right there.” Everything I wanted by Bille Eilish

16. “This place isn’t much, but it was the one thing left I could call my own. Why couldn’t you leave it alone?” My home sweet home by the Goosebumps the musical cast

17. “I’ve got a tight grip on reality, but I can’t let go of what’s in-front of me here.” // “I know you’re leaving in the morning when you wake up. Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream.” The only exception by Paramore

18. “I wished you the best of all this world could give and I told you when you left me there’s nothing to forgive.” Jealous by Labrinth

19. “It’s unfair that I still care and I wonder where you are tonight.” Should’ve Been Us by Tori Kelly

20. “Don’t go crying to your mama, cause you’re in the real world.  Ain’t it fun, ain’t fun baby you’re one of us.” // “See its easy to ignore trouble when you’re living in a bubble.” Ain’t it Fun by Paramore 

~💋 - Flirtatious song section~

1. “I’ll keep you my dirty little secret. Don’t tell anyone, or you’ll be just another regret.” Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects

2. “I think you’re fine you really blow my mind, Maybe someday you and me can run away, I just want you to know, I wanna be your Romeo.” Juliet by LMNT

3. “I know that you like me, no way no way, no, it’s not a secret.” // “I can see the way you look at me. And even when you look away, I know you think of me.” Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne

4. “Couldn’t answer if I wanted. Cause his lips are on my lips, and both my hands are on his body.” Funny by Zedd & Jasmine Thompson

5. “When you’re around, I feel so weightless and when we kiss, I can’t explain.” Paralyzed by Mystery Skulls

6. “Your hands on my hips and my kiss on your lips. Oh, I could do this for a long time.” Heartbeat Song by Kelly Clarkson

7. “I’ll try to picture me without you but I can’t.” Immortals by Fall Out Boy

8. “I’m falling deep into a pit of vipers. Over me over me and I can’t break free. Secrets run deep when you’re in a pit.” // “I use you no good, need to be in control.” Pit of Vipers by Simon Curtis

9. “When the jealousy’s strong, all I see is you. Is you, oh you (ooh).” You by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae

10. “One look and you’re mine keep your eyes on me. Cause when the stars align you might bring the beast out.” Beast by Mia Martina ft. Waka Flocka

11. “If you talk that talk, baby Better walk that walk baby.” // “Baby I’m sorry (not sorry).” Sorry not Sorry by Demi Lovato

12. “Girl, you’re the one I want to want me. If you want than you got me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do just to get up next to you.” Want to Want me by Jason Derulo

13. “Smelling your pillows wishing And wishing I was there. (I was there.)” Beautiful Mistakes by Marron 5 and Megan thee Stallion

14. “Just don’t get attached to someone you could lose.” // “kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wantin’ more.” How to be a Heartbreaker by MARINA

15. “And maybe I should start confessin’. Confessin, yeah! Oh, I’ve been shakin’. I love it when you go crazy.” There’s Nothin’ Holdin’ Me Back by Shawn Mendes

16. “Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love. Like I’m the only one who knows your heart.” Only girl in the world by Rhianna

17. “The only room with a view is a room with you in it.” 96,000 by In The Heights Cast

18. “Just admit it, sometimes being mean is what you are. Mean is easier than nice.” A cautionary tale by Barrett Wilbert Weed, Grey Henson and Original cast of Mean Girls

19. “I love you baby, and if it’s quite alright I need you baby to warm these lonely nights. I love you baby.” ily by Surf Mesa ft. Emilee

20. “I should’ve kissed you. Just like I wasn’t scared at all.” // “Now that I kissed you goodnight it’s a good night.” (Kissed you) Goodnight by Gloriana

[baya-ni]

Renga Shouldn’t Be Canon (clickbait)

No but seriously, I hope that Renga doesn’t become canon, at least not in the way that I think a lot of people are hoping that it will. Personally, I’m not expecting anything close to a kiss and confession and that’s fine by me.

Queerbaiting is a problem in mainstream media, there’s no doubt about it, and many people both within and outside the queer community are right to feel wary about hoping for that kind of representation. Personally, I’m still caught by surprise every time a queer person or couple is depicted in a normalized and healthy way onscreen. And that just speaks to the appallingly poor representation queer people are so used to seeing.

But I think that fandom likes to throw the word “queerbaiting” around a bit haphazardly, much in the same way faux woke people throw around words like “gaslighting” and “cancel culture”. They’ve become buzz words to evoke immediate feelings of self-righteousness and to prey on person’s fear of appearing ignorant or bigoted.

Unfortunately, I worry that when the season inevitably ends without Renga’s “canonization”, people will unfairly label Sk8 as Queerbait. And I have many Feelings about this- mostly frustration.

But we’re only mid-season. I can only guess where the show is going to go and only make assumptions about fandom behavior based on personal experience, and there’s a high possibility I’ll be proven totally wrong so... take whatever I say with a grain of salt. But anyway, let’s get on with it.

Fundamentally, Sk8 isn’t shoujo, it’s not BL- it’s a sports anime. And while that doesn’t preclude a total absence of romance between its characters, ultimately those aren’t the kinds of relationships that sports anime concerns itself with. The most prominent relationships you’ll see will be more along the lines of Teammates and Rivals (there's also a third dynamic I'm calling Opponents which is Not the same as Rivals but the Opponents dynamic is less relevant to my point so I'll focus on just the first two).

However, it's not hard to see why romantic interpretations are so common among fans of sports anime. At their core, the basis of Teammate and Rival dynamics bear many similarities to that of a compelling romance. Both Teammate and Rival relationships are built upon two characters' mutual admiration and respect for one another, they involve characters learning from one another and being inspired to push themselves to be their best. There's a great deal of trust involved, as is vulnerability, communication, and empathy. In other words, all the essentials of any healthy relationship.

But context and genre are important. I think that a good romance is one that is unique to its characters specific personalities and needs, as well as is believable within the context of the setting and story. For an anime like Sk8, I would find an on-screen kiss strange and out of place (unless it was done for comedic effect which would be... bad).

I'm reminded of this quote from Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is one of my all time favorite films:

"Do all lovers feel as though they are inventing something? I know the gestures. I imagined them all waiting for you."

And that basically sums up what I've described, albeit more poetically. Love is invention. Romantic gestures form a unique language between lovers. And if I may add, genre and narrative establish the basis for the emotional significance of these gestures.

In a genre like action/thriller, one of the most meaningful things a character can do is risk their safety or straight up sacrifice themselves for another, because bodily harm and physical risks drive the tension in these kinds of narratives. In the romance genre, confessions, physical intimacy, and grand romantic displays serve the same purpose. In something like sports anime, I argue that its gestures like physically accommodating for your teammate, supporting them when they feel dejected, and being motivated to train harder and be better for the sake of being allowed to stand beside them, that hold equivalent significance.

But this is all broadly speaking, and genre is just one element. Characters’ personalities, habits, insecurities, and trauma, as well as a story’s themes, further specify the kinds of gestures that hold the most meaning in a narrative.

Let’s look again at Portrait of a Lady on Fire, on my favorite scenes:

Portrait is interested in subverting the power imbalance inherent between the Artist and the Muse, the Voyeur and the Subject, the Looker and she who is Looked At. Heloise’s observations of Marianne hold great significance because of this theme; she disrupts the power imbalance by taking back agency as the Subject, demonstrating that she is just as capable of Looking at the Artist just as the Artist does at her. This is visually represented by the framing of the final shot. With the camera pulled back, we now see Marianne as Heloise has been seeing her, and she is now subject to being visually scrutinized in the same way that Heloise has been up to this point in the film.

This scene is so poignant because the romantic gesture it depicts ties heavily to the story’s themes, its characters’ personalities, and its existence is believable within its genre.

Now, let’s bring this all back to Sk8. In this show, what sort of gestures are given the most significance?

Skateboarding. Duh.

Basically, this line establishes that “basis for emotional significance” that I mentioned earlier, such that skating is the means by which characters and relationships are developed and the plot is driven forward, that any and everything related to skating potentially holds symbolic meaning.

And specifically, equating the act of skating to love then allows for more romantic interpretations of all kinds of scenes. Take for example, these parallel sets of shots from ep 1:

(I mean cmon look at his tiny blush, it’s fucking adorable) And:

In a show that equates skating to a “ritual of love”, these scenes can be realistically be interpreted as Langa and Reki falling in love with one another. Skating acts as both the catalyst for their relationship as well as later on being the means by which they express their feelings and develop their relationship.

Skating is their love language.

Ok, I’ll try to wrap this up since this post has gotten wayyy too long. But basically my point is that Renga is about as canon as this show could possibly make it within the confines of its genre and narrative. Romance in sports anime is different from romance in shoujo, but it’s romance all the same, in the same way that different people express love in different ways.

A kiss and confession is not the only means by which a ship can become canon. And I personally would much rather have this kind of carefully crafted symbolism than a kiss just randomly shoehorned in.

But I understand that in the face of centuries of censorship, cop-outs, and barely believable and forced heteronormativity, people want same-sex intimacy onscreen, unapologetic and normalized. I get that.

But in my opinion, Sk8 isn’t queerbait, and it shouldn’t be accused as such just because its characters won’t kiss onscreen. I think this show depicts a wonderful and loving relationship between two boys, that isn’t any less loving just because it doesn’t fit into conventional romantic tropes.

Edit: I did a followup post about Sk8 and its queer representation here, where I go more in depth into the ways that Sk8 represents queerness through beyond its implied homo-romantic relationships.

So yeah, I’d love to hear yalls thoughts :)

[halloweenhoneylover]

the window

summary: reader gives spencer a really cute holiday gift, and he really, really appreciates it (spencer reid x gn!reader)

word count: 2.7k

author’s note: this was supposed to be a blurb lmao. also anon, u did not specify gender, so this is gender neutral!!! also, this is for the holiday season and isn’t specific to christmas (aside from mentions of secret santa gift exchange). also also, spencer knits canonically.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

Rolling your eyes, you closed the seemingly menacing pop-up on your screen and continued to finish up your paperwork. A few seconds passed before a second pop-up appeared.

DO NOT CLOSE MY MESSAGES!!!

You heaved a sigh and stood, making your way to Garcia’s lair. Pushing the door open, you skipped a greeting entirely and chided, “Dude, you gotta stop sending scary pop-ups to my computer. People are gonna start thinking that unsubs are hacking the FBI and threatening agents.”

From beneath her horn-rimmed glasses, Penelope tutted and chewed the end of her pen. “You are no fun. Besides, you are forgetting my immensely cool and mysterious origin story. ‘The Black Queen’ was not one of the good guys!”

“That’s true,” you admitted, “but you’re one of us now, so that means no more suspicious messages unless you want to be fired.”

She gave you a contemptuous glare, “Not gonna happen. Also, I’m really shocked that you thought you could distract me from the matter at hand.”

Furrowing your brow, you replied, “I don’t even know what the matter at hand is.”

Garcia’s smirk curled devilishly. “You and Reid.”

Further confusion ensued. “And what about us?”

She groaned and threw her head back, “Oh my god, you really are dragging this out. I know that you did not get him for Secret Santa, but you still got him a present.” The quirking of her eyebrows was enough to indicate that she meant more than what she was saying, and you were hesitant to explore the implications.

“Okay, first of all, it is illegal to look at my credit card history, and secondly, he is my best friend, so yes, I got him a present. Is that a crime?”

“Certainly not...but this does solidify the fact that you’re in love with him.”

“Dear god, Garcia, I am not in love with Spencer Reid.”

The look she gave you was one of utter incredulity. Her disbelief was so strong in fact that she did not deign your statement worthy of verbal response. Instead, she sat there. Staring. And under her rather unnerving gaze, you began to fidget, your resolve slowly dissolving. Squeezing your eyes shut, you relented. 

“Okay, maybe I am the littlest, tiniest bit in love with Spencer Reid.”

“Well, duh, but what I really need to know is when you’re gonna tell him.”

“When? Garcia, this is not a ‘when’ question. Actually, it’s not a question at all because never in a million years would I ever tell him.”

“Why not?” she exclaimed, gesturing with her pen still in hand. “You spend almost all of your time together, at work and at home! You guys go to bookstores and museums and cafes. He talks about his silly little statistics, and you listen, and you make your silly little jokes, and he laughs; you’re a match made in heaven! And he’s so obviously into you! That boy writes the definition of heart eyes every time he looks at you.”

Steeling your jaw, you rebutted, “That’s just not true.” Your voice faltered. “Sure, I’ve noticed a certain...affection, but he does not love me in the same way I love him.” You let out a shaky breath before deciding to continue. “Did you know that in all of our years of friendship he’s never touched me? I mean sure, it’s happened once or twice in the field, but that was always an accident. And yeah, I know he has his thing with germs, but don’t you think if he liked me as anything more than a friend, he would have done something by now? A pinky promise, a teasing elbow jab—I don’t know—something?”

Penelope’s face softened, and she tried to recover your confidence. “He’s like that with everyone! He likes his space. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him initiate contact with anyone on the team.”

 “But isn’t that the point, Garcia? I’m just like everyone else to him. He wants space from me.” Bitterness roiled in your stomach and dripped from your tongue. “Not very romantic, huh?” 

Trying to piece together a counterargument, she stumbled slightly, “No, I will give you that.” She paused. “But I think he’s just scared. Not of germs, not of you, but of his feelings for you. He’s not the most well-adjusted person I know.”

You chuckled lightly, gradually resuming your normally light-hearted disposition, “I would agree.”

“Well, I hope he likes his present.”

The semblance of a tired smile graced your face. “Yeah, me too.” 

You turned to walk out and had almost made it out the door when her voice stopped you. “Also, I will stop sending suspicious pop-ups to your computer.”

Peeking back through the doorway, you grinned.“I think it’d be for the best. Texting does exist for a reason.”

——— 

It had been a really good day. It wasn’t often where an entire day in the bullpen passed only with friends and laughter and love and light, but today was one of them. Snow fell silently outside the windows, but everything inside felt warm like laughing so hard that your cheeks ache and your stomach hurts.

By now, a sort of daze had befallen the team as the giddiness wore on and the alcohol set in, fuzzing eyes and minds. Most everyone had paired off after the gift exchange a few minutes prior, but no one had drifted too far. (Maybe it was the team instinct: never stray too far from the pack, but it was also likely that everyone just enjoyed the proximity to their loved ones, their family.) Garcia seemed to be in heaven, tucked into Morgan’s side on a couch that had been dragged haphazardly into the bullpen, and murmured conversation stretched on with intermittent peals of laughter. Predictably, Hotch and Rossi had sequestered themselves to a nearby desk, their scotch glasses never dry and grins never fading. (Hotch during the holidays was something special. His often frigid demeanor thawed, and out from the ice peeked his former self who wasn’t so serious. (His rare giggles were quite the surprise though.)) Emily and JJ sat on the latter’s desk, discussing anything and everything (except for psychopathic murderers), while you had pulled your chair up to sit beside Spencer at his desk. 

“So are you pleased about your gift from Rossi?” you asked, a faint grin playing at your lips.

“I am,” he replied, clearly enthused. “But I don’t think I’ll ever understand how he managed to get an authentic TARDIS key.” His finger traced the edge of the authenticity certificate Rossi had bestowed on him that sat on his desk; the key was already hanging around his neck.

You raised your eyebrows and nodded. “Well, money is a powerful thing.”

“True,” he mused before furrowing his brow. “But that’s another thing, the expense limit is not a suggestion, but he always treats it like it is. Puts all the rest of us to shame.”

“There’s no shame in an inexpensive gift!” you argued. “As long as time or thought was put in, it doesn’t matter.”

“Penelope surely didn’t skimp on time spent for yours,” he said, pointing to the homemade knitted hat and glove set on the desk beside you.

“No, I did not!” she yelled from her spot on the couch, somehow having managed to pick up on your conversation, and you laughed. “Lots and lots of time and love was poured into those!” Her speech was slightly slurred as her eggnog intake began to infringe on her lucidity.

“I know this, and I love you for it,” you beamed at her.

“I love you too.” She proceeded to bury her face in Derek’s shoulder who could only chuckle at her antics. 

You picked up a glove and inspected it. “I truly cannot comprehend how she made these. Circular knitting needles are my living hell.”

Sitting up with renewed interest, Spencer said, “If you need help with them, I could lend a hand. I knit my mom a sweater this year, and I think I finally understand how they work if you ever wanted me to show you.”

“I’d love that.” Hopefully, the flush of your cheeks could be blamed on the wine you had had. “Speaking of your mom, how is she? Are you excited to see her?”

The corners of his mouth turned up, and he nodded. “She’s good; her nurse said she’s been doing really well lately. She’s less paranoid, more alert, so I’m really excited. I think this will be a good trip.”

“I’m so glad!” You sat there with a dumb smile for a moment, your mind lagging for a moment (damn wine) before realization crashed onto you. “Wait, speaking of your mom, I have something for you!” He cocked his head to the side as you stood up and went to your desk, rifling through one of the drawers. Pulling out a neatly wrapped gift, you trotted back over and offered it to him. “This is for you.”

He took it, running a hand over the wrapping paper (it was the one with cowboys wearing Santa hats that you had found when shopping together a couple weeks before, his favorite). “(Y/N), you didn’t have to get me anything.”

Shrugging lightly, you said, “Yeah, I know we did the whole gift exchange thing, but I saw it, and I thought of you and had to get it.” And you definitely did not actively seek this out for him in the search for his perfect present. Which is something somebody who is definitely not in love with him would do.

He looked up at you, eyes already glassy and searching your face for something. You weren’t sure what he was looking for, but then he met your gaze with unwavering certainty. “Thank you, (Y/N/N).”

“No problem, ya big sap, now open it already.” 

Ever the cautious one, he opened it carefully, sliding a finger under the edge of the paper and gently easing the tape up. The small action of unwrapping a present so attentively was just so Spencer your heart swelled as you suppressed the growing grin. From the paper emerged a book.

“‘A Collection of Poems by Geoffrey Chaucer,’” he murmured, smoothing a hand over the cover.

When he didn’t immediately react, seemingly frozen, nerves crept up the back of your neck, and you sputtered out some sort of reasoning. “I know your mom used to read Chaucer to you; you mentioned ‘The Parliament of Fowls’ when we worked the Fisher King case, and it’s in this collection, and I thought it’d be fun for you to take it to Vegas and read it together and—”

Your explanation came to an abrupt halt as Spencer threw his arms around you, enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug. Immediately melting into it, you embraced him with a similar intensity and buried your face in his neck. Something in his touch allowed you to let go, and it felt like the moment you could finally exhale. 

A breath you’d been holding for longer than you could remember. 

You could smell the cologne that he wore for ‘special occasions’ and his shampoo and something so faint but so undeniably him, and his hand slid up to the back of your head, cradling it in the most tender fashion, and you felt like you could cry. So you pulled him closer, and he did the same.

The hug definitely lasted longer than what most people would find comfortable, but neither of you could be convinced to retreat until you became aware of the silence that had settled over the bullpen. You felt the many pairs of eyes on you, and it pained you to pry yourself off of Spencer. Breathless, you looked around at the shocked faces of your co-workers who sat with mouths agape and eyes wide. You coughed slightly to try to ease the tension and then for some reason beyond your knowledge, you decided to wave at them in the most awkward fashion. Sitting back down, you could feel stares lingering as conversation resumed, and you looked up at Reid who looked like a deer in headlights. You laughed quietly, tugging his sleeve until he received the memo and sat down again. 

He cleared his throat and avoided eye contact, glancing at his present. “Thank you for the book, (Y/N/N).”

“You’re welcome,” you replied, your tone earnest as ever. Still reeling from the hug, you faintly became aware of the speed of your heartbeat and unconsciously brought a hand to your chest. You attempted fruitlessly to sort through your raging thoughts, while across from you, Spencer tried to think of something, anything to say now. 

He couldn’t really believe he’d done it. His germaphobia remained everpresent, but somehow the emotion welling in his chest at your sincerity and benevolence had overridden it, and he felt helpless in stopping himself. His heart had lurched in his chest as if it was suddenly struck with the need to be in your hands, propelling him forward. But it wasn’t like he hadn’t wanted to. He had wanted to for so long, but he’d never mustered the courage before. There was something so special, so intimate about touch, and so many people gave it so freely, and he just didn’t understand how they could allow themselves the indulgence. The absolute luxury of giving and receiving love. Spencer often felt like he sat by a window, watching his life pass by outside of it, and he had always wanted to open it, to really experience all the joy and all the grief and all the love that was waiting for him, but it was scary to open himself up to those feelings and the hurt that could ensue. So, he usually sat discontented by his window. But today, it was like he’d grabbed a hammer and smashed the glass completely and stepped through to be able to return the love you had offered him. 

It felt so good.

But now, he had no idea what to do. He stood there in the midst of the shattered glass, and deep down, he knew had to take the last couple steps to get to you, but he didn’t know how. 

His fingers fidgeted in his lap as he analyzed your blank face, trying to find something to give him the next direction when a realization hit him. “I didn’t get you anything!”

Drawn back from the depths of whatever thought you had been stuck in, you met his gaze and shook your head. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. I broke the gift exchange rules to get you something, so you had no way of knowing.”

“But I feel terrible.” His eyebrows drew together, and he frantically tried to think of some way to repay you. “You get me an incredibly lovely and wonderfully thoughtful gift, and I’m the loser who didn’t get his best friend a present!”

“Spencer—”

“Wait!” he interrupted, a revelation arriving. (He knew how to take the last steps.) “When I get back after the holidays, do you want to get dinner with me? Then, we can go to the bookstore on 10th that you love, and you can pick out a book, and I’ll pay.”

Your eyes widened further than you thought possible, and your heart which had only partially recovered was off to the races once again. You decided to take the plunge and ask the burning question. “Do you—um, do you mean like a date?”

“Yeah,” he answered, beaming so brightly. “Yes. Like a date. If you want to.”

You held each other’s gaze, and the warmth that had filled the bullpen all day filled your chests, and you smiled so hard your faces hurt. 

So silly, you thought, to have wasted all this time boarding up my affection and keeping it tucked away, safe and useless.

So ridiculous, he thought, to have sat by that stupid window for so many years when the real thing feels so sweet.

“I think I’d like that a lot.”

[yuichiroswife]

𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐐’𝐒:  

1. When are you usually online?

Due to the fact I pretty much have nothing else to do because of reasons I’d rather not specify to everyone here on this hellsite, I’m basically here 24/7. You can always reach me via IMs (granted that my phone doesn’t make the little message noise like it’s supposed to so sometimes I don’t know you messaged me) or throw me asks and starters whenever you’d like (that also takes some time for me to get to though because I only answer that stuff on my laptop). You can also reach me via Discord 24/7 since I always have that open on my phone and laptop (when my laptop isn’t off anyway) so if you want that, just shoot me a message via IMs.

2. What verses are you involved in?

Truthfully, Mika has a pretty decent amount of verses that I’ve tossed him into, though most of them don’t belong to any series because they’re just mainly used in a more modern setting. Due to the fact that people stopped being interested in my Mika though, I ended up pretty much removing Mika’s verses from his blog completely. The only verse that I use now is his OnS verse and I used to use his Resident Evil 2 verse with Ino pretty often (though it was just him taking Sherry’s place and Crosseyra taking Claire’s). Oh, I also use Mika’s Assassination Classroom verse with my platonic girlfriend, Vira.

3. What is your biggest RP pet peeve?

Um... probably just the basic stuff for roleplaying that everyone else gets irritated with? Godmoding, force-shipping, not reading rules, and metagaming I guess? Though if I’m completely honest, I could care less about what someone else’s muse knows about my muse because it’s not like it’d bother them in the first place, lmfao. Most of my muses are pretty nonchalant about everything, especially Dickson, so if your muse somehow knows he’s a monster or something and try to use it as a way to get one over on him, he’d literally just laugh about it and be like “yeah, I’m totally not human. Pretty cool that you noticed.” It’s the same with if you try to godmod against my muses, if I don’t like what you’re doing, I’ll just do it back. XD I promise you I can be ten times more annoying (especially since my sister says I’m annoying 24/7). :D

I guess what irritates me more though is when your freaking partner doesn’t barely add shit into the roleplay so it’s just a basic response and you don’t know what to do with it. Like... it’s just three lines of absolute horse shit that you can’t even pick up and throw even if you wanted to! Nothing interesting is happening and the actions preformed are literally just being repetitive. God... I hate the repetitive actions. I can’t do anything if all your muse does is blush and giggle. Please, if you value me as a partner or even just value my sanity, DON’T FREAKING DO IT.

Also, please, and I do mean PLEASE, do not expect my muses to fall in love with yours ESPECIALLY if they’re: 1) already married or in a relationship, 2) are single-ship muses, 3) aren’t interested in relationships, or 4) are like Dickson where they literally HAVE NO EMOTIONS TO BEGIN WITH. Everything he does is ACTED. Learned through observing others and copying them. His feelings, unless worked on by himself or someone else (and I mean worked on for a very long time), are not genuine. He does not love you, he is using you unless he actively states otherwise, and I don’t mean when muses who are in love do the usual “oh, I love you so much.” I mean him quite literally obsessing over your muse to the point he’s willing to murder anyone who even breathes in your muse’s general direction. I rambled a bit there... but the point is, don’t think my muses will instantly love yours just because yours confess to mine. Most of my muses would probably just call your muse an idiot or laugh at them. One more thing, I promise. Do not assume that just because your muse is some big and scary bad person (or whatever) that my muse will fear yours (unless they’re possibly human or some weaker being, but even then most of my human muses don’t care) because they won’t. People like Philis, Rain, Mikaela (sometimes it depends on his mood though), and Ember will not be afraid of you, if anything, they’ll likely just think you’re crazy. People like Dickson, Tina, Giovanni, and Hazen (in the future only) will not be afraid of you either, instead they’ll laugh and ask if you’re looking for a partner to aid you in whatever terrible path you’re going down. Also, do not assume that my muses will not outright kill yours if you piss them off to a certain degree because they will, especially since most of my muses aren’t against killing random people (either because they aren’t stable or come from a world that is filled with war). Even if you interact with my kinder muses, they still have a line you can cross and they will try to still kill your muse if need be.

4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses?

I’m pretty sure everyone has noticed, but I have an unhealthy obsession infatuation with darker muses, such as ones who are unstable or unhinged. *coughs* Like Envy as the biggest example. *coughs* I also am really drawn to male muses that are either super pretty or super masculine (I don’t know any other word to describe what I mean, please forgive me) or ones that are very fatherly (probably because they remind me of my own dad). Bonus if they’re super masculine and fatherly because it melts my heart. ; w; Appearance-wise though, I’m drawn to male muses with black hair and blue eyes (*gestures at Dickson*) while I’m drawn to female muses with bizarre colored hair (meaning outside of the usual blonde, black, red, brown) and bizarre colored eyes (outside of green, blue, and brown). But I’m also super fond of male muses with black hair and bizarre eye colors too because sometimes it can look super pretty.

This is totally uncalled for, but my biggest draw in to a muse is if they look a lot like or remind me a lot of Chris Redfield from Resident Evil because that man has my WHOLE heart. And I don’t mean that shitty excuse of a “Chris Redfield” from Resident Evil 7 either. I’m talking about Chris Redfield from Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil 6, and Resident Evil 8 (where he now has a dad bod), though I also love all previous Chris Redfields too. <3

5. Are there reoccurring themes in your writing that people might not notice?

Um... aside from the fact that I tend to ramble a lot? I don’t think so? I personally don’t think my writing is all that great so I don’t think I can really answer a question like this? I’m also not really sure what a reoccurring theme could be in my writing. Sorry! ; ;

6. What are your favorite RP trends?

Dunno really? I don’t really know any roleplay trends aside from the Google Docs and carrd thing. I attempted to do Google Docs, but I got frustrated because I couldn’t figure it out so I gave up. I didn’t even attempt with carrd because you gotta pay for that and I’m always broke so... haha. I only recently learned how to do mediocre graphics and add extra muse themes onto my blogs. I’m a pretty bland person honestly.

7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone?

I usually try to just toss them a very small random starter that isn’t really affiliated with anything in case they wanna use a specific verse with it. I try not to actively talk to the person I’m trying to start a thread with because of my anxiety being so bad to the point (mainly from all the years of being bullied and being ignored when I attempt to talk to people) that I just assume everyone doesn’t actually want to listen to me talk to them. I remember when Envyness teased me about something and I almost cried because I thought they were mad at me. The only reason I didn’t was because they actively said they were teasing and I instantly felt better afterwards. I’m pretty pathetic, haha.

8. How do you feel about duplicates?

I don’t mind duplicates of my canon muses (though I’m pretty sure I have more OCs than canons). I think duplicates are pretty cool to be honest, especially when they like to do the whole “twin” situation with me. XD I had two friends that roleplayed Mika do that with me and it was hella cute.

Though since OCs are supposed to be one of a kind, if I find someone stealing my fucking character that I put YEARS of work into, I’m ripping their arm off and beating them into submission with it.

9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying?

Um... I think I first started when I was like... thirteen or twelve? I just recently turned twenty-four so... twelve years or maybe closer to thirteen? Hard to fully remember since I started roleplaying via Skype and I’ve had Skype since I was in fifth or sixth grade. Yes, just imagine a baby Speka typing up a storm for roleplay with friends. Probably not as cute as most think since I was a gremlin according to my older brother.

10. Is there a muse or verse you could write in, but haven’t?

I dunno to be honest? Given the fact that I have a pretty large multimuse, I can pretty much just add whoever I want to it and start writing for them. Though, I guess if I had to pick someone, I’d probably like to write... Zhongli from Genshin Impact or maybe Jill Valentine from Resident Evil?

Tagged by: @s-talking​​

Tagging: Whoever wants to do this, just steal it and tag me.

[ameryros]

Black Butler Shinigami & Thorns of Death speculation ramble

Major musical spoilers!!! Read at your own risk! I recommend watching Kuromyu 2, the most beautiful death in the world before reading uwu

Okay so we know that to become a shinigami, a human must take their own life and in return they shall return as a shinigami as punishment. They also do not remember their past life, so they probably do know that they commited suicide, but they don’t know why. They also “work” until the day they are forgiven, but isn’t specified when or how they reach that point.

Shinigami’s work by reaping and collecting human souls and that they cannot interfere once the name is on the list. A human can have their life spared if the human is someone “ who has potential to be beneficial for this world “, which is rare according to the official wiki.

It is said that the thorns of death is caused by a soul of a human that is destined to die, but fight’s back against the shinigami. If that was the case, shouldn’t there be more shinigami’s who have the thorns? I doubt there are very few humans that accept death that peacefully and lets the shinigami do their thing. 

William should have the thorns as well seeing that Thomas fought back against him during his first reap. it was also the only time we ever saw emotion out of that man. If anything, I’d reckon that most of the shinigami’s have the thorns of death.

In the second Black Butler musical we follow Alan Humphries and Eric Slingby. For those who haven’t watched it yet I don’t want to spoil, but the gist of it is that Alan has the thorns of death, and Eric is stealing human souls to try and save Alan (cue crying noises). A thousand human souls to be exact. 

Speculation #1 : The Thorns of Death isn’t from souls fighting back, but rather the Shinigami showing compassion/emotions and/or second thoughts about reaping the soul. The Thorn’s are also not lethal. It is also not a disease or illness.

This is kind of a well known speculation but I wanted to put my thoughts into writing. We know that suicide is what makes a human a shinigami. Wouldn’t it make sense that they would be punished if they showed compassion or kindness to someone who is destined to die? 

They were not kind to themselves, for whatever reason they took their own life and they were reborn as Shinigami. So if we play by the idea that their punishment for committing suicide as humans is to take human life, it would be ironic that they now feel or have second thoughts about taking it. 

Their last act as a human is take their own lives, and in death they shall do it infinitely. 

This brings us to the emotions part. We know that William is all about work. He is robotic in a way, emotionless and numb to everything as long as it doesn’t interfere with his work. As mentioned above the only time we ever see William show emotion is during his first reap, where Thomas essentially fought back, not wanting to die. Since then the William we know and love was born.

“If only I could understand their pain a little better”

“Thinking you could understand another’s feelings as they face death is sheer arrogance”

“Though I’ll never fully understand other’s thoughts as they await death, I feel I’ve gotten a bit closer”

"I was born alone in this world and alone I will die. If this is my fate, why are tears coming out of my eyes?"

- Alan Humphries, Kuroshitsuji Musical, The Most Beautiful Death in the World

 Alan in and of himself is filled with emotions. He is empathetic and wants to understand feelings and emotions of the very people he is taking lives from. To the souls he reaps, he is death. Just as he took his own life, he also faced death. I think he feels the need to understand what they are feeling, whether it’s because he wonders deep inside how he felt when he died, or because he is just a pure and kind soul. (We do not know how Alan died, his Death Scythe is a long handled garden slasher and no other distinct qualities or sign as to how he died) 

Shinigami will spend eternities watching cinematic records, observing human life, and death. It would make sense that a shinigami wouldn’t care if they took human lives, it’s just their jobs. 

Ronald Knox has emotions, he flirts, he is playful and occasionally seen with human women and interacting with them. But he does not care about their lives. As seen in the Book of Atlantic he bids the human woman he was with goodbye, ending it with “if you’re still alive”, which he probably already knows that she does not survive. So it’s entirely possible for a Shinigami to display emotions and a personality, as long as it does not interfere with their job of reaping.

For this speculation emotions is what causes the thorns. And it can be stopped if the Shinigami stopped having feelings or empathy for the human souls they reap. 

William for example, it would make sense that he is entirely void of emotions. If this speculation is right, then he would have the thorns from Thomas, which if he continued to feel or think about, would eventually kill him. If he did the same thing with every soul he reaped, he will die even faster. Getting rid of emotions would essentially get rid of/ not have the thorns, hence surviving. 

Either way, William may or may not have eradicated the thorns, but if he stopped it early enough I don’t think a small amount of thorns would be lethal. He may still feel the prick or pain of it, but it will not lead to his death.

Alan on the other hand is portrayed naturally empathetic, he is filled to the brim with emotions and thoughts about the souls he reaps, and as long as he continues it, the thorns will only sink deeper. 

In my opinion it’s more of a consequence than an illness if we go by this speculation and it is entirely avoidable. After all, they took their own life selfishly, it is now their punishment to take others, but now they hesitate? Or feel for the humans? It’s a baffling concept considering it goes against their whole existence. 

Shinigami’s are the neutral ones. They hold no opinion over the life or death, they just take. So for them to not be neutral, if would still make sense that they get the thorns as punishment/consequence.

Speculation #2: A thousand stolen human souls is needed to “cure” the thorns, but why? 

Let’s say that there is no other way to get rid of the thorns. Once you have it, there’s no stopping it. (We’ll forget about William’s case and focus on Alan)

In the musical we see Eric taking the souls for himself to collect and eventually give to Alan. He goes out of his way to make a whole opera play to garner enough humans to take souls from. 

But why would this work? 

Selfishness. This ties back to why the thorns were there in the first place. 

Feeling or trying to understand human pain or emotions is what gave them the thorns, so if a shinigami would take so much lives so selfishly, so greedily, to save themselves, it would negate the thorns that they acquired.

Having no regard for human life would most likely get rid of the thorns purely because it contradicts the thorns presence in a shinigami. 

But isn’t taking human souls for themselves against the rules? Why, yes, yes it is.

Which is why Eric was sneaking around doing it. He only formulated the mass soul reaping when he realized that Alan does not have much time left, and he needed the souls immediately to save him.

Let’s talk about Eric Slingby for a moment.

“And yet somehow.. somehow I have finally found... one fragile ray of light.

“Forgive me Alan, I can’t give you up. I just can’t give you or your life up!”

-Eric Slingby, Kuroshitsuji Musical, The Most Beautiful Death in the World

We talked about how having emotions or feeling empathetic towards humans cause, thorns. But it doesn’t seem to apply to shinigami relationships.

Eric is literally intervening with Alan’s eventual death by collecting the souls, so do the rules of being neutral not apply to them? Are they free to save each other?

I don’t really see a problem with this, I can kind of see that it might not be included in the rules since well, they aren’t human, and it just makes the story even more heart-wrenching.

Eric also has emotions and a personality, and even though he doesn’t understand why Alan is feeling the way he does when it comes to human emotions towards death, he still sees him as a friend and wants to save him. It just goes to show that even shinigamis can have healthy relationships. (cri)

Okay we’re back. During the musical Alan learned that it was Eric who was taking the human souls to save him, and he immediately tries to stop Eric. They have a bittersweet moment and decide to run away together and Eric promising not to kill anymore to get souls, and they leave their glasses behind, signing their resignation.

But the thorns didn’t stop. And eventually Alan is on the verge of death, and Eric breaks his promise, he wanted to save Alan no matter the cost. Eventually Eric needed one more soul to complete the task, and the only human left that he could kill quickly was no other than Ciel Phanthomhive. But  just as he was about to kill Ciel, Alan dived in between, Eric’s death scythe killing him.

Eric was devastated, and begs Sebastian to kill him which he does with Alan’s death scythe. Everything he had done was to not lose Alan, but in the end fate was cruel to them. As the very thing he wanted to protect disappeared by his own actions, he essentially killed himself once more by asking Sebastian to take his life. 

He lied beside Alan, in his second time tasting death for himself, at least in death they were still together.

The souls he collected erupted from his body and rained down on the ground, Ciel and Sebastian musing that the souls were beautiful, white, and pure, it was innocent. It was the most beautiful death in the world.

So what would happen if Alan didn’t take the souls? Would Eric just have 1000 souls with him? Would he return the souls to the dispatch center? Would they be fired? I don’t know really, but all I can most likely assume is that everything Eric did to get the souls would be useless and for naught. Alan I think would have died either way, he would never have taken the souls. 

I can see Alan and Eric still alive and happy together if they ran away earlier and the thorns weren’t as bad. 

Another ending would be Eric letting Alan die per his wish, and Eric turning into an emotionless void like William from the sad event. I can see Eric getting the thorns for himself as he would probably remember Alan whenever he takes a human soul, and the guilt of not saving him would also probably eat him alive. A lose-lose situation.

Even another one would be Alan surviving if speculation #1 was true, but then he would also be emotionless and unfeeling, unless he figured out how to exclusively not feel for the humans and their souls, but that’s a far fetch, I just don’t see Alan doing that. And even if it did happen, I'm quite sure Alan and Eric's dynamic would change and it wont be the same. Also a lose-lose situation. 

It’s a bitterweet ending for Alan and Eric, I can only cry and curse at the world so much for giving them such fates. 

I guess that’s what fanart and fanfiction is for amiright?

If you read everything and got to this point, wow, don’t you have a life? Just kidding. I hope you enjoyed and let me know your thoughts if you like.

I might write more of these if I find more stuff I feel like is interesting, or people can give suggest stuff through dm’s or messaging.

Stay safe, healthy, and hydrated!

Much love, Ames

[hellroots]

『 MOBILE FRIENDLY RULES 』

— here you will find my rules or can also find them on my gdocs as well once i’m done with it. please like this if you read it, but otherwise don’t interact with this post, thank you. rest assured that i always read my moots rules before following and that i fully expect the same courtesy. i tried not to let them get too long but feel free to ask me anything you wanna know about them if it’s not clear ok?

 『 THE MUN』

NOXTROMUN, THEY/THEM, 21+, BRAZILIAN

shy but friendly ! i don't follow for follow, if i follow you that means i've read your rules and want to write with you. i have no triggers nor squicks of my own except drama in the dash, for that reason i do not engage in callouts/witch hunts and if you do it on a constant basis i might have to hard block you for my own peace of mind. although i may come off too strong/harsh, i am always up to talking things out privately. as long as you are civil, so am i. any form of hate will be deleted and blocked -  sometimes mocked, if i’m feeling cocky…

『 THE BLOG』

HELLROOTS, INDIE ( POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING AND NOT MINOR FRIENDLY ), HIGHLY SELECTIVE & PRIVATE MULTIFANDOM MULTIMUSE

primarily run on a low activity \ effort and with a slow speed.. my muselist changes a lot, depends a lot on what i’m watching lately so bear with me please. this is a drama free zone, therefore do realise that mun ≠ muses and (obviously) writing ≠ condoning !! as a quick note, do keep in mind that my blog is my safe space, just as your blog is yours - you are responsible for your own internet experience just as i am responsible for mine. should anything in my blog annoy/trigger/squick you, i strongly encourage you to block me & not write with me - your mental health is far more important ( for me, and hopefully for you as well ) than rp. on that note, please do not softblock me - that’s annoying, just hardblock please.

『 THE TRIGGERS』

TRIGGER HEAVY, PROPERLY TAGGED AND TAKING NO CRAP

i  usually  tend to write for trigger heavy fandoms (such as asoiaf, kingdom and others) and may incorporate some of it into my writing, muses' backgrounds and overall characterization. if you're bothered \ squicked \ triggered by that, i kindly encourage you to reconsider and not follow me. no amount of rp fun is worth your mental health.  i try to tag everything accordingly and i fully expect the same courtesy for our followers' sakes. be aware that there may be mentions of death, gore, violence, consanguinamory \ endogamy (especially when it comes to the lannisters and kekkei genkai clans), rape ( kingdom, though it will only be mentioned on the character’s backstory ) and cannibalism ( hannibal and kingdom ) , as well as unhealthy relationships and dynamics alongside with powerplay, and otherwise bad behaviours.  for all that is sacred, please, do note that i, the mun, do not approve, support or condone any of these actions or behaviours !!  i simply am capable of separating fiction from reality. as long as everything is properly tagged, with mutual consent and there are no minors involved (muse and especially not muns), . i support the right of a consenting adult to explore these awful dark topics in a safe fictional environment with other like minded consenting adults, people shouldn’t have to share their traumas to strangers on the internet to explain why they write what they write, be considerate. if that notion bothers you perhaps you might not want to interact with me, for both of ours sakes. fair warning, most of my graphics and aesthetics might trigger those who have xylophobia/hylophobia (phobia of trees or wooded areas), and considering it is a main theme here i will not be tagging it, i'm sorry. but its too many. however, if you want me to create a special tag for you, there's no issue! it will be either "[your mun name] don't look!" or "[your url] don't look!", whichever you prefer. QUICK EDIT/ADDITION: i do not believe that aging up fictional characters is inherently a bad thing - from what i understand, the whole appeal of aging up a character is that while you like their personality but you do not want them to be kids (for whatever reason) but insteasd adults. if you are one of those who think that aging up a character is automatically something bad (without even knowing why it was done in the first place) don’t bother following me because i do think that opinion is quite silly.

『 THE INTERACTIONS』

OC, DUPLICATE, MULTIMUSE AND CANON DIVERGENT FRIENDLY

my tagging system is simple, i tag triggers as "tw; x" and . images that may be sensitive or triggering as "cw; x". you can further see how my tags work by taking a look at my tag dump post, just search ‘tag dump’ on my blog and you will find the most recent one i’m using.    i shitpost and talk oocly on the dash constantly but you can easily blacklist my tag if it bothers you.  here's something you should know about me:  when i'm doing drafts i usually don't feel like chatting much, so please do not spam me because i won't be able to reply, i love to talk with my moots but sometimes it overwhelms me.  on that note, please don't pester me for replies ic or ooc, i am slow and chances are that if you try to guilt trip me or just nag me about it i'll leave as the ones i'll get to in the later end on purpose, just out of spite. yes, i be like that.   please be patient - i’ll never pressure you and expect the same in return.  plotting wise: i prefer to just wing it with just a faint idea of where to take the thread but honestly i'm cool with anything. please be considerate when formatting your replies, i have a bad eyesight & if i can't read it, i won't bother with it.   my own formatting is simple and clean.   on a smaller note, please bear with me and my muses as my muses ramble a lot but you don't have to match the length, just give me something to work with. if we write together, the chances of me making edits/tagging you in stuff are really big, just lmk if you don’t like that though !

『 THE FLEET』

MOSTLY BI/PAN MUSES, MULTISHIP AND MULTIVERSE, SMUT FRIENDLY

i love shipping but i like my ships to be devices to move the plot/dynamics/muses forward, every once in a while though i partake in some much loved self indulgent shipping. just because i ship a certain pairing don't presume that my characters are approaching yours with second intentions, please.   most of the time i like to reblog those relationship memes, so if you’re interested in a ship the best way (other than  sending me a message ofc) to let me know is by sending ones. there will be some triggering ships here ( like the lannisters, both cersei x jaime and joanna x tywin are my otps, and potential inter clan ships, like with the hyugas - i mean how the hell you think they keep the byakugan in their family?? ) that may either be played with trusted friends or be mentioned/reblogged sometimes, all properly tagged so you can easily blocklist/avoid it.  most of my muses are either bi or pan, those who are not will be specified. don't be afraid to reach out to me for shipping right off the bat - i'd rather have you to be open and honest with me about the interactions you want than lying to me, just know that there will be needed some plotting and threading first to see if your muses match. as an adult, my blog is smut friendly, i partake in sexual sunday a lot because some of my muses are very lewd in nature, you can blacklist my tag if that bothers you as well.

『 THE FINAL NOTES』

GENERAL RP ETIQUETTE APPLIES, CREDITS, THANK YOU FOR READING MY RULES

lastly but not least, general rp etiquette applies on my blog: no godmodding, forced ships, etc. there’s only ONE thing that truly makes me go apeshit crazy, and it’s when people don’t read my rules. i ALWAYS find out and it’s not pretty; i block it like it’s hot, ♪ ♫ ♬ block it like it’s hot ♪ ♫ ♬.   i strongly assure you that i always read your rules before both following you and also before sending memes, just in case. on a much smaller note, i’m not so hot on single shipping and i really feel weirded out about people forcing me to pic who i’m going to interact with due to theirs DNI’s. while i get DNI’s when it comes to actual predators, when it’s something seemingly random chances are that i’ll softblock you because it weirds me out how volatile some can be when it comes to a hobby. i have some trigger heavy hcs ( for example, the one about jiraiya’s hypersexuality being rooted in trauma that he suffered at a young age ) that i share with only a few muns that are closer with me, so i’ll be mentioning them every once in a while but won’t share them, please don’t insist.  i don’t really like most of the main characters of the franchises i write for, and when it comes to certain characters  i reserve the right to decline an rp for my own comfort. for further info on what i use to make my graphics please check my “CREDITS.” tag.  most of my stuff is made by me, i’ve got a lowkey rph in case you wanna check it out it’s @brazucahelps, however if you want a custom content i can see if i get a free time to come up with something :D

 IF YOU READ THIS FAR, THANK YOU SO MUCH — JUST ONE LAST THING, COULD YOU PLS LIKE THIS SO I KNOW YOU’VE READ IT? <3 THANKS!

[quietlyblooms]

i’m going to be cleaning up this blog some more and seeing what drafts i have the spoons to write today, but in between all that, i’d love to get some new threads going, especially if we haven’t written together or have written very little! specifying a muse or muses on your end is preferred but not required bc i understand it can be hard to choose. i’ll just use a randomizer if need be! and remember that chiyo has a plethora of verses to choose from; they’re all up for grabs!

these starters will vary in length, though i’ll do my best to keep them to 1-2 paragraphs to give you something good to work with. softly capping at 5.

[detectivejay-chuckles-halstead]

Hello Again // Jay Halstead x Reader // Pt 1?

Description: Y/N comes back in Jay’s life asking for help. But it’s been almost a decade. How much has changed since they last saw each other?

Words: 3540

Warnings: TW Domestic Violence

Pairing: Jay x Reader

A/N: I’m back! This wasn’t one of the requests, and I promise I’ll get to them once my muse is really back. This was just a quick thing that I thought up today. I’m thinking about making it into a multi-chapter. Let me know if you guys are interested in seeing where this one goes or not. Thank you all! You’re the best! Love you guys and your support!

“I’m looking for Jay Halstead,” you told the older woman standing at the desk in the 51st Precinct as you wrapped your arms across your stomach even tighter. You hoped he was there. You didn’t know where else to go. There was literally nowhere else for you to turn. It had been years since you’d seen him, wondering if he’d even recognize you. But this was your Hail Mary.

“Can I get a name?” she asked gruffly, your jaw clenching. Would he even see you?

“Just tell him it’s an old friend.” At least it seemed he was there. You didn’t let her ask anymore questions as you quickly walked to the bench and sat down. It was difficult to keep your breathing steady, to keep yourself from completely losing it. So you did the only thing a sane person would do. You bent over, sticking your head between your knees, your hands on the back of your neck. There was no describing the amount it helped, having seen Jay do it a thousand times before to calm himself down. 

You didn’t see him come down the stairs or see the woman point over to you. All you knew was the feeling of someone sitting next to you, not saying anything as he rested his hand on your back. Did he even know it was you, or was he just trying to be nice? How long you’d been sitting there was lost to you before you took a deep breath and sat up, looking at him for the first time in almost a decade. 

He still looked like the same Jay you knew. A little more worse for wear, but being a cop would do that to a man. He tensed up, but kept his hand on your back. 

“I need help, Jay,” you told him on the verge of tears again. 

He nodded as he stood up, motioning for you to follow suit. There was no hesitation, but you pulled your sleeves down a little more, gripping the cuffs of your sweater for dear life as he led you upstairs to a secluded conference room. You ignored the looks of his colleagues as he led you away from their workspace. 

“It’s been a long time, Y/N,” he told you with a sigh and look of worry as he shut the door behind the two of you.

“Yeah, well I wasn’t the one who left.”

-----

All good things come to an end. It was something you’d had to learn from an early age when your father left. Then your mother died. Then you bounced around in foster care until you were sixteen. So you shouldn’t have been surprised when the best thing in your life came to an end. 

“I have to figure out who I am, Y/N,” Jay told you, standing in the kitchen. His duffle bag was packed and sitting next to the door. It seemed like just yesterday he waltzed into your bar with it slung over his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to figure it out alone, Jay,” you countered, needing him to stay. It wasn’t a desire. Maybe early on. Now, it felt like he was the air you needed to breathe.

“I do though. Being here, being around what I’ve been doing since I got back...It’s not good. It’s not who I am. It’s not who I want to be.” Your heart dropped, feeling like he was calling you a mistake. 

“If you’re going to leave, Jay, Just do it,” you spat. “I don’t need your explanations.”

-----

“What is it you need, Y/N?” he asked as you walked to the window, looking out. The view of the city wasn’t fantastic, but feeling the sun on your face made up for it. 

“You have to understand something, Jay,” you began, looking over at him as he leaned against the wall, arms across his chest. “If I felt like...If I had any other option…” You took a deep breath. “I didn’t know where else to go.” 

He didn’t say anything as you looked out the window again. “About three years ago, I met a guy. Jason.” You didn’t want to say his name, but knew you had to. “Things were going really good for a while. We got married...and then he changed. Drinking, drugs. I stood by him every time. Even when he made me sell the bar. A mix of paying off his debts and him not trusting me to be away from him...to be around temptation.”

You heard him sigh behind you, but you didn’t want to see the pity on his face. You’d seen it before on others. But coming from him would be a whole different story. 

“Why come to me?” he specified. You could feel your bottom lip quiver as you tried to steady yourself. 

“I tried going to the police before. I’m sure if you looked it up, you’d find at least twelve domestic disturbance calls over the past six months.” You finally brought yourself to look at him again, not seeing the pity you were used to but genuine concern. “If I stay, he’s going to end up killing me.” 

He nodded, sighing again as he rolled his shoulders. “I’m going to go get my Sergeant, bring him in on this. I’m sure we can find something to get him locked up. We’ll get you set up in a safehouse, but there’s something that comes along with that.”

“I’d do anything, Jay.” You felt bad for not mentioning the biggest factor of all, but knew it would be coming up soon. 

“You have to have absolutely no contact with him. At all. Period. If you’re serious about leaving, we can set you up with a new phone.” You nodded in agreement, looking up at the clock. “You have somewhere you need to be?”

“At three, yeah,” you answered, not giving him more than that. 

“I’ll get my partner Hailey to take you wherever you need to go. She’ll take you to the safehouse afterward. Until we get him, one of us is going to be there with you.” You nodded again. 

“Jay?” His head tilted to the side slightly, listening. “Thank you.” He gave you a small smile. 

“You stick around in here for a few minutes and I’ll send Hailey in.” You turned your attention back to the window as you heard him leave. You couldn’t help but sigh, noticing how different he was from when you first met him.

-----

The bar wasn’t as busy as it usually was, which was a nice change of pace. You’d inherited it from the last owner when he decided to retire, not having to pay a penny. All you did was promise to keep it up and running. And that’s what you’d been doing for the past three years. It was mostly regulars, until you saw someone you didn’t recognize. He looked broken down, defeated. Seeing what he was wearing made it click for you.

“What’re you drinking, Halstead?” you asked with a smirk, his green eyes meeting yours in confusion. “Stitched on your uniform.”

“Bud Light,” he answered. You turned away for just a minute to grab a bottle out of the refrigerator, popping the top off before sliding it towards him. He must have just gotten back, based on the disheveled appearance. 

“I don’t mean to be really forward, but I get off in an hour,” you told him with a smile, getting a smirk in return as he took a swig from the bottle. 

“I’ll stick around.”

-----

“Hi,” a woman called out from behind you, startling you out of your thoughts. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” You turned to look at her, figuring it must be Hailey. “I’m Hailey. Why don’t we get out of here and get you all settled?” 

You nodded in agreement, following her downstairs to a black car, the two of you sliding in the front. 

“Where we heading for this errand?” she asked. 

“Barton Elementary School,” you answered, your head leaning against the window. You honestly were relieved it was Hailey taking you to pick up your son instead of Jay. You didn’t want to talk about it with him yet, but you knew Hailey would have questions. 

“Jay doesn’t know you have a kid does he?” she finally asked after about ten minutes into the ride. You knew it would take at least another twenty to get to the school. 

“No. And I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell him. I want to be the one to talk to him about it. A lot has changed in the nine years we haven’t talked.” You could see her nod out of the corner of your eye. “I’m not a bad mom, I promise. It’s just…”

“I get it. I grew up in a similar environment. Mom’s still with Dad though. This makes you the best mom,” she assured you as you tried to keep the tears back again. “I’m going to let Kim know to bring kids clothes as well when you go inside. I’ll let her know to keep it on the down low. It’ll be mostly her and me staying with you though, if that’s okay with you?” 

“Yeah. Will Jay…?” 

“Yeah, he’ll stay with you sometimes. We just figured it would make you feel more comfortable if it was the three of us rotating staying with you. He’ll be there tonight. Just a heads up.” You just nodded again. “So, do you have a boy or a girl?”

The two of you kept up idle small talk until she pulled up in front of the building, letting you get out and go inside to get Blake. He kept talking about how good of a day it was on the way to wherever Hailey was taking the two of you, talking about his friends and all the stuff he’d learned. 

“Mommy, why are we here?” he asked, as the three of you walked up the stairs into the furnished apartment. It was definitely better than where you were living currently, so that was a plus. 

“We’re going to stay here for a while,” you answered, kneeling in front of him, holding his small hands in your own. “Jason and Mommy aren’t together anymore. So my friends are going to stay with us for a bit while I figure out what we’re going to do next.”

“Is it because Jason hits you?” he asked softly as if it was a secret. You were thankful you couldn’t see Hailey’s reaction to your son asking you this. 

“Yeah, it is buddy. But what have I always promised you?” 

“That Jason would never hurt me.” You nodded, pulling him in for a hug, kissing the top of his head.

“Why don’t I show you where your room is going to be? My friend Kim brought some toys and stuff for you to play with. And your Mommy and me are going to talk about grown-up stuff,” Hailey suggested, Blake quickly going along with it as she led him to the second bedroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts again if only for a minute.

You’d slid your sweater off, leaving you in your tank top. Bruises were very evident on your arms and chest, more hidden under the clothing. Jason always made sure to make it easy to cover up. 

“Damn, Y/N,” Hailey said as she walked back into the room, the two of you sitting on the couch. 

“I really don’t want to talk about it right now, Hailey,” you told her, resting your head in your hands, propping your elbows on your knees as you tried to just breathe. 

“He looks just like his dad,” she said, changing the topic to one you still didn’t want to talk about. But you knew you would have to. 

“Like I said before, I’m not a horrible mom,” you reiterated as you looked up at her. “I’ve given Blake everything I could. And I would have given him his dad, but we didn’t end on the greatest of terms.”

“I’m not here to judge you. Just to understand. Jay’s always wanted a family, I’m sure you know that,” she reminded you. 

“Jay and I met the night he landed back in Chicago from his last deployment. It was a whirlwind romance for six months. And one day he told me he had to figure out who he was now. The way he talked about those six months made it seem like he’d realized how much of a mistake all of it was. Not that I blame him. We’d both made some stupid choices, but he left without looking back. It wasn’t like I could easily get a hold of him when he left. So, I decided I’d just do it on my own. I wasn’t going to tie him down to his mistakes,” you explained. 

“Jay isn’t the same guy who left that day, Y/N. He’s changed a lot. Mostly for the better, I’m sure.” You couldn’t help but smile at her assuring words, as if she knew exactly what to say. “When you tell him, it might take some time for him to warm up to the idea though. You both have so much to talk about, and I can’t exactly tell you how he’s going to react. Just...give him time.”

“Blake has asked about him before. Not often. I never know how to answer. I’m not stupid, I know it was my choice to not try and find Jay and tell him. So, I tell him about the Jay I knew. The brave soldier, the amazing guy.”

“No worries there,” she interrupted with a chuckle. “He’s still very much both of those things.” 

“Thank you, Hailey.” 

“It’s no problem. I’m going to stick around until Jay gets here. He’s bringing pizza apparently, but it’ll be a few hours until he gets here. Why don’t you try and get some sleep? I’ll make sure he doesn’t meet Blake before you two have the chance to talk.” You nodded as you stood, walking into the other bedroom and laying down. 

-----

You stared down at the two lines, in complete shock. There was no way this was happening. No possible way this was happening. Yet, as you stare at the pregnancy test, you knew it was true. Deep down in your soul, you knew it was true. And you didn’t know if you’d be able to do it.

It had been three months since Jay had left, and you’d chalked up all the symptoms to stress and heartbreak. Until you realized how late your period was. Which is what led you to staring at the positive pregnancy test. And you had no idea what to do. 

An hour later, and many laps pacing your small apartment later with your phone in your hand, you hit the dial button. It only rang twice before you heard his voice on the other end, your heart fluttering as your free hand rested on your stomach. 

“Y/N?” he asked, but you didn’t know what to say. “You there? You okay?”

You couldn’t do it, so you hung up. He didn’t try calling back. And it was in that moment that you knew you could do it alone. 

-----

“Hey, Y/N,” Hailey said, knocking on the door before cracking it open to pop her head in. You stretched, wincing as you looked at her. “Jay’s parking right now. Blake is passed out. I gave him some soup Kim had stocked up.”

“Thanks,” you told her as you got up, pulling on a different sweater. You didn’t know if you’d be able to have this talk with Jay if he was too focused on the bruises Jason left in his wake. You didn’t know if you could have this discussion with him at all if you were being completely honest with yourself. But you didn’t have any other option. These were the cards you’d been dealt. And now you had to figure out how to work with it. 

You walked into the living room, seeing Hailey leave as Jay walked in with the pizza. He made a beeline for the counter, putting the box down. 

“Didn’t know if you would be hungry or not,” he told you with a smile. You could hear Hailey lock the door behind her. “Figured a supreme from your favorite place would be a safe bet.” 

“We need to talk, Jay.” His smile dropped as you motioned for him to join you on the couch. “Do you remember three months after you left, I called you and then hung up?” 

“Yeah. Why?” he answered, confusion plastered on his face. 

“I just need to know...why didn’t you ever call back? Or call me in general? Was I that much of a mistake?” you finally asked, voice soft. All you wanted to do was curl in on yourself, to hide from everything. But that wouldn’t work. You were thirty-three, you had to face it like an adult. 

“I thought it was a pocket dial that night, honestly. And I wanted to call. I just…” He took a deep breath as he looked at you, really looked at you for the first time all day. “I couldn’t bring myself to because I felt ashamed. I loved you, and I left. There was no way you were going to take me back, so what was the point? I went back to the bar once, but they said you were on vacation. I took it as a sign.” 

You’d never taken a vacation in your life, so you knew what he was talking about. You’d taken a few months off for maternity leave. To think, he was just downstairs from your apartment while you were upstairs with Blake. 

“Iwaspregnant,” you quickly told him as he looked at you, confusion back at full force as you took your own deep breath. “I was pregnant, Jay. That’s why I called you that night. And I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. Because you’d left. You’d made your choice. And it wasn’t fair for me to try and drag you back.” 

“Oh.” That’s all he had to say was ‘oh’? Surely there was more. 

“I kept it, Jay. Kept him. He’s asleep in the second bedroom right now,” you finally said. You couldn’t distinguish just one emotion on his face, seeming to be a mix. “His name is Blake. He’s nine. And he looks just like you.” 

“I had the right to know,” he finally told you, breaking the silence as his voice wavered, jaw clenched. “I deserved to know.” 

“I know, Jay. God, you think I don’t know that? But what was I supposed to do, huh?” You stood up, not able to sit next to him. “You’d said it yourself. It wasn’t good for you to be around what you’d been doing. It wasn’t who you were. It wasn’t who you wanted to be. Those were your words before you left. You were the one who left!” 

“That didn’t matter!” he finally said, voice raising. “I missed nine years of my son’s life! You had nine years to reach out to me! Was this why you came today? This was the easiest way to tell me?” You couldn’t help but flinch at his words, expecting fists next. “I’m sorry,” he said, calmer. You hadn’t realized that you’d squeezed your eyes shut, taking an offensive stance just waiting for the first blow.

“Mommy?” Blake asked from the doorway, rubbing his eyes as he held onto one of the stuffed animals Kim had left for him. You didn’t look at Jay as you quickly walked over to him, scooping the boy up in your arms.

“It’s okay buddy,” you assured him, holding him close as your hand rubbed circles on his back. “We’re safe here. Mommy just got into an argument with her friend. You’re okay.” You couldn’t help but reassure him as you took him back into the bedroom. 

“I thought Jason was here,” he mumbled as you laid him down, pulling the blanket over him. 

“You’re never going to see Jason again. I promise,” you assured him, kissing his forehead before smoothing his hair back. His eyes fluttered closed as you sat next to him, waiting for his breathing to even out, signaling that he was asleep. You could hear Jay behind you, but you didn’t want to face him. You had to though. 

You stood up, taking his hand as you walked out of the room, shutting the door behind the two of you. 

“That’s my son,” he said softly, looking down at you in awe. It took everything in you not to reach out, to stroke his cheek, to embrace him. 

“That’s your son,” you repeated back. “The night you left, you made it seem like it was all a mistake. That we were a mistake. And I was scared that you’d think the same thing about him. I should have told you.” He didn’t let you keep talking, bringing you into a hug. And for the first time in a long time, you felt like things were going to be okay. 

[pinevalley]

create a playlist that encompasses your muse using only the letters of your url (multi-muses, specify which muse(s) each song makes you think of). post your playlist in a new post!

tagged by: @raichoose (thank u!!!) tagging: anyone who wants to try!

CASSIE —

i couldn’t pick between some songs, so i just included more than one for a couple letters!

pa pa power (dead man’s bones) i wanna be your girlfriend (girl in red) nights with you (mø) no trace (ms mr) epiphany fields (scntfc) virginia woolf underwater (chelsea woolf) andy, you’re a star (the killers) angel of small death and the codeine scene (hozier) lost it to trying (son lux; paper towns mix) last words of a shooting star (mitski) the expanse (juniper vale) your song (ellie goulding)

[SPECIFIC LYRICS UNDER THE CUT!]

pa pa power (dead man’s bones)

Burn the street, burn the cars Pa pa power, pa pa power (Please make me better) Broken glass, broken hearts Pa pa power, pa pa power (Please make me better)

i wanna be your girlfriend (girl in red)

Oh, Hannah, tell me something nice Like flowers and blue skies Oh, Hannah, I will follow you home Although my lips are blue and I'm cold

nights with you (mø)

I assure you I will dye my hair in crazy colors Just to make you smile

no trace (ms mr)

My world split in two I had to prove I didn't think I didn't know I could do it without you Do it without you … Vision beyond the frame Lost in the rules we made to our own game I'd drop myself through black holes To wind up at this door I wouldn't have asked If I didn't believe it wasn't worth fighting for

epiphany fields (scntfc)

[no lyrics!]

virginia woolf underwater (chelsea woolf)

Everything you've owned is gone Everything you've known is wrong Everyone you've loved has left … Never quite knowing where to stay And rest for a while

andy, you’re a star (the killers)

On the field I remember you were incredible Hey, shut up, hey, shut up, yeah … Leave your number on the locker and I'll give you a call Hey, shut up, hey, shut up, yeah Leave your legacy in gold on the plaques that line the hall Hey, shut up, hey, shut up, yeah … 'Cause Andy, you're a star In nobody's eyes but mine

angel of small death and the codeine scene (hozier)

[ major woman in the pickup truck vibes! ]

With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene With her straw-blonde hair, her arms hard and lean She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene … In leash-less confusion, I'll wander the concrete Wonder if better now having survived

lost it to trying (son lux; paper towns mix)

What will we do now? We lost it to trying We lost it to trying … Give in and get out We rise in the dying We rise in the dying

last words of a shooting star (mitski)

All of this turbulence wasn't forecasted Apologies from the intercom And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy They'll think of me kindly when they come for my things … So I am relieved that the turbulence wasn't forecasted I couldn't have changed anyways I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy Goodbye

the expanse (juniper vale)

Don’t don’t breathe heavy Don’t believe the blur The ending’s beginning to give into the turn Don’t don’t breathe heavy Leave behind your hurt Get hit with the magic that overcomes this world

your song (ellie goulding)

[ because sometimes i feel like crying ]

It's a little bit funny This feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide … So excuse me forgetting But these things I do See I've forgotten if They're green or they're blue Anyway the thing is What I really mean Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen … And you can tell everybody This is your song It may be quite simple but Now that it's done I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is now you're in the world … I know it's not much but It's the best I can do My gift is my song and This one's for you

[tierstuck-aesthetic]

Requesting? Start here!

This is not a kin blog, but I’m happy to do things for the god tiers of the characters involved in any kin-oriented requests! DON’T: “Can I get a Dirk Strider moodboard?” DO: “Can I get a Prince of Heart moodboard with some Dirk Strider themes?”

Your requests can have 18+ themes, but they will be marked with the “adult” tag so anyone unwilling can filter them out! I’m 20, so I don’t have any problems with that kinda stuff! If your request has to do with r*pe, inc*st, or p*dophillia, I will refuse the request; just letting you know not to waste your time trying for it. (This also means that if it has to do with a pairing from a separate fandom, I will be looking up the characters to make sure!!!)

I’m one person who struggles with some mental illnesses, so please be patient with me if it ends up taking a while to get to your requests!

For stimboards and self cares, I’ll try to remember to give credit for everything and provide links to my sources, but for moodboards I’m generally just grabbing things off of google. I will be trying to avoid most drawing types of art, but if you either find your images here or find an image you wanna find for yourself, shoot me a message! I’m also willing to accommodate for a new image if you don’t want me to use yours! If you see something I use and you know that the source person doesn’t like their work reposted/would rather have credit given, the same thing applies! I’m willing to cooperate so there isn’t a need to get hostile.

I will not be opening any mod applications. I’ve had bad experiences in the past that I’d rather not repeat. This is my blog and it will only ever be my blog. If that means I end up with a billion things in the inbox, so be it. I work from the oldest request up, so everything will be done eventually.

If you need me to tag anything (trypophobia, slime, hands, etc.) just let me know in either an ask or through private messages! I have problems with trypophobia and misophonia myself so I totally understand it!

Please keep things to one request per ask! I don’t mind you flooding my inbox with a bunch of requests if it means I can clearly understand one thing from another and thus make sure I can make what you want me to!

If I reply to your request saying that I can’t do it for whatever lack of information (not specifying what you want, giving me a fanon classpect, etc), please resend the entire ask with the added information I need! I work from the bottom of the ask box up and, usually, by the time I get to your second ask, the old one was buried under the ones I did between the answer and the new ask. It makes it easier on me to keep things going smooth and quick if I don’t have to search for your previous ask!

You guys can call me Nova! I’m a prospitbound, tealblood Prince of Space and I love making people smile with my work! My pronouns are they/them!

DISCLAIMER: You may notice on my Spotify when I do playlists that I already have a lot of them, and that my style for moodboards are the same as Mod Zeros from the fairly popular blog god-tier-aesthetics (not tagging for personal reasons). I’ll admit that, yes, I am Zeros. I don’t want to be associated with Mod Spacey anymore, so I left that blog to get away from faer. If you’re one of the other mods from that blog, feel free to interact! But I don’t want anything to do with Spacey anymore and thus I made this blog to continue doing what I love to do. And to anyone coming here from that blog that may find the transition from Zeros to Nova challenging: I’ll respond to either one just fine. I’m going by Nova here to help reduce the connection to god-tier-aesthetics for new people to my blog.

Links!!

What can I do?

Classpect Analysis Masterpost - NO LONGER IN SERVICE

Stim & Mood Board Guildlines

Discord Server

Where I get most of* my sprites

*Page sprites are not from here. For some reason people don’t like keeping a mass collection of the Tavros or Jake sprites for the Page god tier, so I had to scavenge around a lot of blogs and websites to get a hold of all 12 aspects. Lord and Muse sprites are from here!

[queen-of-bel]

Which (j)rpg classes do you think the Devil Survivor characters would fit into? (Also please specify which series you are thinking of irt classes)

Good afternoon, lovely anon! Thank you for your question, this is a super fun one to think about!

That being said, I am probably the worst rpg fan alive LASDKFJLADS

I always get so confused with classes, so I’m absolutely going to embarrass myself with this question... That being said, I got a refresher on D&D classes, so I’m going to try my best!!   (ง •̀_•́)ง

putting under a read more bc length

Atsuro 

Warlock, for sure. Warlocks get their powers from a nonhuman entity, and I think that really mirrors the student/teacher relationship that he has with Naoya. I mean, Naoya is technically human, but his punishment has given him god-like intelligence and abilities. Atsuro is always looking for ways to apply what he’s learned, just as warlocks do.

From the very first day of the lockdown, he’s interested in tinkering around with the server and learning more about it, saying 

“If we CAN get to the server, though, we can monkey with the demon program all we want.”

Yuzu

This was difficult, but ultimately, I’d say bard. I’d say Yuzu is a bard because she doesn’t particularly excel at anything. She may do decent magic damage (although not as much compared to other characters like Naoya or Amane, and it takes her a while to reach 40 magic), but her movement is also limited to 3 spaces. She is, however, what I would say to be one of the most empathetic characters in the game.

She stops Atsuro from berating Keisuke on day 2, interrupting him and saying:

“Hey, c’mon… We’re all safe now, so let’s not fight, okay?”

She then turns to Keisuke and changes the subject:

“But, uh, Keisuke, was it…? It’s great that your number has increased!”

She is the only one who tries to understand why Midori acts the way she does. On the fourth day, she muses:

“I wonder why she’s so bent on being a hero.”

And on Amane’s 8th day, she is the only one who tries to reach out to Naoya on a personal level and empathize with him.

She clearly has some confidence in her ability to convince Naoya, as she asks Kazuya: 

“Oh, it’s Naoya! Hey, Kazuya… Could I try talking to him first?”

And later, when actually talking with Naoya, she says:

“I mean… it must be terrible to be reborn with all your past memories…”

I think that the kindness she shows, and her confidence in said kindness, fits with the charisma that bards possess.

Gin

Druid. Druids revere nature and are concerned with ecological balance. I think that this matches his desire to restore Tokyo to how it was before the lockdown. He knows that the world was a mix of good and bad, but he loved it all the same because that’s the Tokyo that Aya loved.

He says:

“It’s an amazing world, y’know. One big stew of thoughts, desires, emotions… The good and the bad… This city gives it to you all lumped together. … I want the demons out of Tokyo too. That’s when this world will be back the way it was.”

The only thing he wants is preserving that balance; he doesn’t care for a world where that happens.

Interestingly, this also ties into why I think the only 8th day Gin shows up in is Yuzu’s.

Even though some form of peace comes for humanity in both Amane’s and Naoya’s endings, Gin is noticeably absent. From what we know about Aya, she would’ve been content with either Amane’s or Naoya’s no kill endings. Aya loved the world, and was the type of person to find beauty in anything. Someone like that wouldn’t be averse to change. In fact, she might even welcome it.

But Gin is different. Gin never learned what Aya was really trying to teach him. Gin learned to appreciate the things about the Tokyo Aya fell in love with, but that’s not the point Aya was trying to make. Aya was trying to teach Gin how to appreciate the beauty in any situation. Aya would’ve wanted Gin to learn to find something to love in any world, but Gin couldn’t see the big picture. This is why he’s so obsessed with restoring Tokyo, and why he doesn’t show up in Amane’s or Naoya’s eighth days. Neither of these outcomes will bring Tokyo back to how it was.

Kaido

Barbarian. I’m sure right now you’re thinking “Well, duh, Amelia”. But other than his hot-headedness and pure rage in battle, I think there are some overlooked aspects of Kaido that make him a good fit for a barbarian.

Kaido is absolutely a “ride or die” kind of man. He’s willing to put himself in danger’s way, not only for the ones he cares about, but complete strangers as well. He teams up with Honda because he wants Honda to be reunited with his son as quickly as possible. Additionally, when he first meets Kazuya, he offers to find Naoya for him, saying:

“Well… Things are pretty bad around here, so I’ll help you look. Got a photo or anything?”

After Kazuya shows Kaido a picture of Naoya, Kaido says:

“This is the guy, huh…? Send me the pic over IR. Cool, got it. Alright, once the cells come back on, I’ll spread it around my crew.”

This wasn’t something that Kazuya asked him to do. This was something that Kaido volunteered to do. He didn’t have to do this for 3 strangers, but he did anyway.

Another aspect of Kaido that makes him a good barbarian is his metaphorically nomadic life.

Kaido has no real convictions in life. He’s just aimlessly doing what life handed to him. His brother died? Well, guess he has to take over his gang. Being stuck in the lockdown? Gain more power to help him survive and protect the person he cares about. The messiah is working to save humanity? Time to side with the angels. His personality and convictions are shaped by his environment. The only thing that is a constant with Kaido is that he feels the need to protect those he works with.

Keisuke

Cleric. Need I say more? Clerics are those who wield magic in service of a higher power. When Yama is initially summoned, he says:

“I am true justice, the raging sword. This righteous blade shall pass judgement on evil!”

With the power that Yama bestowed upon him, Keisuke can make sure that evildoers receive the justice they deserve.

Midori

Monk. She idolizes her late father who was a stuntman before he died in an accident, and wishes to be just like him. She tells Kazuya:

“My daddy’s job was to be a hero! … My own daddy was a defender of justice! … Soooo, that’s why I wanna be a hero too!”

Just as monks use their power to pursue physical and spiritual perfection, Midori wishes to be both physically and emotionally strong enough to be a defender of justice.

Haru

Bard, although for a different reason as Yuzu. While I believe Yuzu’s bard-like tendencies come from her lack of any particular skill and her empathy for others, Haru demonstrates traits that are more aligned with what people think of as a “traditional” bard.

She certainly has an affinity for story-telling, as she opens up to Kazuya fairly easily, wanting to tell him her life story. On the third day, she talks to Kazuya, saying:

“Let’s take a breather and chat sometime. It’ll be on me.”

She also (very obviously) fits in with the musical traits that bards have, as Aya’s song is a critical part in Devil Survivor’s lore. After the battle with Belial, she tells Gin:

“When I sang the song with Aya’s sequencer and that demon appeared… She helps a total stranger pick up her life, then summons demons and disappears!? ...I’m going to help these kids. If Aya summoned the demons, I’ll get rid of them!”

Using her musical talent, Haru is able to guide the party through perilous situations.

Amane

Another fairly straightforward answer. Sorcerers have inherent magical abilities from which they draw their power. Remiel says:

“Amane has had a power to hear the voices of the holy and the unholy since she was young. That is why Belberith turned his attention to her, and used her as a catalyst for Jezebel.”

This innate power that Remiel says Amane has is what then allowed the Shomonkai to defeat Jikoku. When Izuna asks Amane how she was able to defeat Jikoku, Amane simply replies:

“I borrowed the power of Jezebel, who is Master Belberith’s subordinate.”

While Amane’s innate abilities to hear non-human voices did not by itself defeat Jikoku, it certainly is what allowed the Shomonkai to do so. This drawing on an inherent power is much like what a sorcerer does, no?

Mari

Oh, this is a fun one. Mari is an extremely complex and multi-faceted character, and I can see aspects of her in many different classes. Ultimately, though, I think given her character development throughout the game, I’m going to go with barbarian-lite.

She doesn’t possess the same unbridled rage and primal physicality that barbarians typically do, but the strong emotions are absolutely there, as that is what allowed her to summon Kresnik in the first place. She’s just… better at hiding these emotions.

The character trait of hers that I find to be the most barbarian-like is how, by the end of the game, she has absolutely zero regard for anything other than loyalty to the party. Civility be damned, Mari is happy to slaughter innocent civilians if it means she can be loyal to Kazuya. Remember, it was Kaido who forced Mari out of the group during the Despot route. The conversation between the two of them unfolds as follows:

“Mari… You get out of here. We’ll handle the rest.”

“What are you saying, Tadashi? I can still--”

“No! ...C’mon, listen to me. Throw your COMP away, right now.”

“No. I don’t want to lose another…”

Clearly, Mari has no desire to leave the group, as she is worried that means she will lose another person that she loves. She has a very primal instinct to protect those in her immediate circle. 

Barbarians also have a tendency to charge headlong into that danger so that their party members don’t have to. She tells Kaido on the second day:

“I’m sorry, Tadashi… I know you worry about me… but I can’t back down.”

She worries that she will lose Kaido to the bloodless murderer as well, and charges ahead with her dangerous plan to defeat Kudlak. She knows that it’s selfish, but she just can’t stand to lose anyone else she cares about, so she jumps straight into the danger, hoping to protect the ones she loves in her immediate circle.

Honda

Yet another barbarian. I feel like this is probably the most self-explanatory of the bunch. Honda is just absolute chaos incarnate. Not only is he willing to murder for his son, but he is absolutely the most animalistic of the characters in this entire game. He is the only character who ever pushes for a truly chaotic world, as we see in Yuzu’s 7th day ending. In Yuzu’s 8th day, Honda has no qualms killing the SDF soldiers, viewing it as a favor to Kazuya and the group. When Atsuro berates Honda for killing the soldiers, Honda nonchalantly responds:

“You mean those guys just now? I only wanted to help my friends out of a tight spot. … Hahaha, guess I overstepped my boundaries.”

At this point in the game, Honda is driven by blind rage. A fierce fighter, his son has died, and the only thing that matters to him is killing the SDF soldiers, all in the name of revenge for his son.

Izuna

I think Izuna is simply a fighter. She’s adept at combat, with insanely high strength, agility, and vitality stats. An extremely brave and selfless person, she volunteered herself for the mission despite knowing that she would probably die. She tells Fushimi:

“Commander… I volunteered for this to save Tokyo and the lives of its citizens. Not to protect the unit’s honor!”

Later, in the tunnel, she pleads to Kazuya:

“There must be a way to save everyone… That’s why we volunteered for this mission. But if it raises the slim chance of this mission’s success… Please help us!”

Even Atsuro notes that everything Izuna does is for the sake of the mission, saying:

“Haha… The mission before everything, huh? I dunno… But I’ll let it slide for you.”

With Izuna’s primary goal at all times being the success of the mission, I think she’s perfect to be classified as a fighter.

Naoya

This man is absolutely a rogue. Rogues have a broad expertise that few other characters can match. They also would rather make one precise strike, placing it exactly where the attack will hurt the target most, than wear an opponent down with a barrage of attacks.

Thanks to his punishment, Naoya is a genius at predicting how people will act and behave. He is a man of few words, but boy, do those words hit hard. He can almost always twist a situation to get any outcome he wants. The best display of this is in his 7th day, where he is successfully able to extend the government’s deadline to use the UEM field. Kaido is impressed at how the negotiation with Fushimi went, saying:

“Negotiation? Hah! That was more like an order!”

Rogues are also not above using deception and trickery for their own gain. Naoya tells Atsuro:

“Every side plays dirty to get what it wants.”

Naoya also goes to great lengths to prevent the party from learning his true identity. When the angels fight Kazuya in front of Hills building, they attempt to reawaken his memories as Abel. Naoya panics, saying:

“Tch… Kazuya! Don’t listen to a word he says! He’s only trying to confuse you!”

Later, when Kazuya and Atsuro question about what Abel is, Naoya refuses to answer, simply responding:

“Unfortunately, I don’t plan on answering that question. Even if you knew, it has no relevance to the objective.”

Naoya is a deceptive man with god-like brilliance. Absolutely fitting for a rogue, if you ask me.

Thank you so much anon!! This was really fun, and I’m hoping I’m not embarrassing myself too much LOL（´ω｀♡%）

[yafaemi]

Layers to a Lady

one: outside layer

[Name:] Amandine du Aubrieault.

[Hair Style & Style:] Gray-black, with darker streaks. And no, my hair is not dyed. My hair has not always been mid-shoulder length, as well. It was incredibly long when I was a child. Mostly by my mother’s preference.

[Eye Color:] Violet. Though, I’ve been told my eyes can be mistaken as black in dark enough lighting. I personally doubt it, yet I don’t see any reason to confirm it for myself.

[Height:] Rather average for an Elezen, I believe. Perhaps an ilm or two difference?

[Style:] Fancy, I suppose. I’ve never considered what I call my style. It’s rather hard to mistake that I lean towards the finer things in life, regardless. Or magely? I’ve heard a friend of mine use that term to describe it. (Though that... isn’t a word. Not that she cared. Believe me, I told her such. On multiple occasions.)

[Best Physical Feature:] Hmm... I’ve always been fond of my eyes. At the risk of sounding vain, they’re a wonderful color.

two: inner layer

[Fears:] Being left without control over my life. I value my autonomy far more than I do any laws, though I have a rather funny way of showing it. My greatest fear in this world would be to wake up one day, and realize that all it was all an illusion.

[Guilty Pleasure:] ...This information is staying here, yes? I’d rather not have... any unexpected second parties finding this. The first I thought of was cheesy theatre performances. Whether cheesy for the lack of quality, or just the nature of the show itself, there’s something delightful about it.

[Biggest Pet Peeve:] Those who willfully cling to their ignorance. In my mind, there is no individual weaker than that. Walk with your eyes open, lest they are forced open by another, crueler hand.

[Ambition for the Future:] Long term, or short-term? One is far more personal than the other-- not that I’ll be specifying which is which. Decide between the two if you’d like. For the long-term, I simply intend to live as I’d like, and become a far more skilled mage. For the short-term-- which... really, considering the circumstances, is not half as short as the word suggests... I plan to avenge the death of a friend.

three: thoughts

[First Thought When Waking Up:] The first things I usually ask when I’m awake enough to think coherently is what time it is, or if Oliver is awake first. Usually, if he is, then I can expect there to be hot chocolate in the kitchen. He makes enough of it in the mornings to supply one mug to each soul in Ishgard.

[What You Think About the Most:] Hm. I’m not quite sure, frankly. Though, I suppose it would likely be my friends, whatever book I happen to be reading at the time, or musing about Ishgard’s progress and where it will go in the future.

[What You Think About Before Bed:] Whatever I was doing before going to bed. More often than not, it’s the events of an evening stroll through Ishgard, prior conversations in the day, whatever I happened to be reading, or-- if it was my turn to put wood into the fireplace for the night-- whether or not I actually remembered to do it.

[Your Best Quality Is:] My inquisitiveness. I enjoy exploring ideas, and learning about them. If there is more to learn about something, then I will be there to discover it.

four: what’s better

[Single or Group Dates?] Quite frankly, I hardly have any interest in romance. Yet, if I were to go on a date, I would be more intent on learning about my partner than spending time with friends. Which... really, is a long way of saying single.

[To be Loved or to be Respected?] In a twist that I find rather interesting, I would say loved. Had you asked me some few moons ago, my answer more than likely would have been different. My friends are a terrible influence in the best way possible.  

[Beauty or Brains?] Brains. They will get your farther than looks. At least in my experience. I did not become a skillful mage because of my enchanting physique, I’ll have you know.

[Cats or Dogs?] Cats. Dogs are undoubtedly adorable, yet I hardly have the energy it would take to care for one.

four: do you...

[Lie?] I doubt there’s a soul in the world who hasn’t lied before. Who knows, I may very well be lying about every single one of these responses. (I’m not, rest assured.)

[Believe in Yourself?] Why would I not? While there have been times that I was uncertain of my skills, I’ve always believed myself more than capable of going onwards with whatever is in my way.

[Believe in Love?] Of course I do. There is evidence of it everywhere, after all, when you know where to look. So an old friend would like to say, at least. Though I hope you don’t just mean romantic love. To think only of romantic love when someone says ‘love’ is narrow-minded, at the best of times.

[Want Someone?] Not particularly. I’m quite happy being single, as of now. Who knows. It may change, though I highly doubt that for now. My friends are more than enough.

six: have you ever...

[Been on Stage?] Hm. That depends what you count as a stage? I have, technically, done performances before. On a makeshift stage, at least. I would prefer this stay here, as well. As a child, my mother was quite insistent that I choose some manner of instrument to learn. I decided to tell her that I was interested in learning to sing. My own little way of rebellion, that... didn’t quite go as I had planned. Thus began my rather short-lived career, singing Halonic verses by my family’s requests.

[Done Drugs?] No, and I have no intention of doing so. My mother would rise from her grave the very second she even heard me consider it. Of that I have no doubts.

[Changed Yourself to Fit In Somewhere?] Not particularly. Perhaps as a child, once or twice, in an attempt to fit in with the other children. Yet in my adult years, I can’t think of a time I’ve done so.

seven: favorite

[Favorite Color:] I have a small handful of favorites, though the one I most often think of first is purple. It’s also the color I seem to wear the most often, as well.

[Favorite Food:] This may be a rather strange choice-- yet one I’ve always been fond of is quiche. My mother used to make quite a lot of it. It’s more of out of nostalgia than any real fondness, really.

[Favorite Game:] I’ve never been much for games, in recent years. I usually prefer reading to pass my time. Though, watching Aurora grow increasingly more bewildered as Oliver beat her at Triple Triad without a single clue as to what he was doing was the most invested I’ve ever been into any game since childhood. So, I suppose if I were to list a favorite, it would be that string of games, that night.

eight: age

[When Your Next Birthday Will Be:] Well, seeing as though it’s my nameday today, I suspect it will be in exactly a year from today.

[How Old Will You Be?] I will be turning 26. Halone, that feels strange to say. 

[Age You Lost Your Virginity:] I will make a note not to tell you when it does happen. 

[Does Age Matter?] That, frankly, depends. You wouldn’t put a child on the battlefield. ...Hopefully. In a situation such as that, I should certainly hope age matters.

nine: in a partner

[Best Personality:] Someone who is not afraid of what may lie beyond the horizon, who refuses to shy away from what they find. In whatever sense that may be. It’s an invaluable trait to have, I think. Other than that, I’m not entirely sure what to add. I’ve not put half as much thought into ‘my type’ as others might. 

[Best Eye Color:] Whatever color my partner’s eyes are. I would think that those are the eyes I would find the most enchanting. 

[Best Hair Color:] Generally the same as the prior answer. 

[Best Thing to do With a Partner:] Long, peaceful strolls in the evening, talking about whatever comes to mind. I find such times the best while getting to know each other. Though that may depend on if your partner is the type of person to enjoy them. 

ten: finish the sentence

[I Love...] My friends. As infuriating as they can be at times, I would not give them up for the world. They have changed my life for the better. 

[I Feel...] Quite relaxed, as of now. It’s been a lovely day thus far. 

[I Hide...] A good many things. My secrets are called that for a reason, after all. I am not wont to reveal them without good reason.  

[I Miss...] A departed friend. There have been recent developments that I think she would have been ecstatic to witness for herself, yet the chance was taken from her.  

[I Wish...] Well, I suppose it would be far too simple to say I wish said friend would return. So... hmm. To end on a humorous note, I wish Oliver would stop attempting to burn down our house whenever he cooks something. I am literally capable of producing fire with magic, and somehow he manages to set fire to whatever it is he makes without the use of it. I have to physically restrain myself from asking him to teach me the secrets of his pyromancy, at times. (I doubt he would tell me, regardless. If nothing else, I would just get a pout in response.) 

tagged by: @eligos-venator​ (thank you by the way :O) 

tagging: @nekun-uul​ and whoever would like to join! :D

[starlitmemes]

A series of sentences nabbed from Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony for your roleplaying needs! Feel free to swap up wording/pronouns to make them fit better for your muses if need be. Be sure to specify which muse it’s intended for if sent to a multi-muse!

cw for suggestive themes, murder

“I don’t care about the rules!”

“We must remember who the real enemy is!”

“Try as many times as you want until you accept reality!”

“We messed up last time, but I’m sure it’ll go well this time!”

“You’re free to keep trying on your own, but forcing us to join you is basically torture.”

“Did you know half my lies are actually told with good intentions?”

“Sometimes you gotta be a little reckless to make your dreams a reality!”

“You know what you gotta do, don’t you?”

“I didn’t expect anything from you in the first place.”

“We cannot be picky about our means of survival.”

“Your god’s not gonna get us out of this situation!”

“People have reasons for running away...”

“Let’s sit on top of the world and look down on everyone else...”

“I don’t need you worrying about me!”

“You seem to really adore [name]. Why is that?”

“But if it’s not something I do on my own, I can’t be proud of my own performance.”

“I ignored it because I figured it was something stupid.”

“You have to face reality!”

“What more could you possibly desire? Do not give in to your greed.”

“You would get jerked around by fake info like that.”

“I win simply because I’m confident in my skills. That’s all it takes.”

“Please be silent... forever.”

“Being defeated only made us stronger.”

“I knew you were that kind of an idiot. Now let’s get stupid.”

“I’m satisfied with so little, but at the same time, I want more...”

“The easy path will only hinder my progress!”

“It’s a hero’s job to protect his sidekicks!”

“How... can you believe in people so easily?”

“Why are you even here?”

“So what’s the deal with this place anyway!?”

“Don’t stare at me so much...”

“Ohhh, you’d look so pretty with this, [name]...”

“I want you to make lots of cute noises!”

“It’s his fault for messing around like that!”

“People said it was only a matter of time...”

“We’re already damned here!”

“Do you think I’m making this up?”

“You shouldn’t think like that...”

“The sole act of killing is a waste.”

“I get how you feel, but don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself?”

“If that would help me win, then I’d do it.”

“We haven’t even started and I’m already tired...”

“There has to be something more I can do...”

“Who cares? We’re gonna die anyway some day.”

“I’m used to risking my life!”

“God really doesn’t exist in this world...”

“I don’t know if human morals apply to them...”

“I remember thinking that I had to go.”

“Eventually... I got used to it.”

“I was branded as a failure, because of something so stupid.”

“A warning kill has to be flashy.”

“Being left behind will just make me worry.”

“I must admit, I was secretly expecting more...”

“I feel like the more you talk, the more I’ll dislike you.”

“Geez, you’re not even trying to hide your stupidity!”

“Let’s just wait and see what happens.”

“I can help you save everyone. And you wanna save everyone, riiiiiiiight?”

“Why did it end up like this...?”

“You could’ve prevented her death, y’know?”

“In order to find the truth, you can’t be biased.”

“Your talent can save the useless people here, y’know?”

“Trusted people can still kill, y’know.”

“The more you try, the more you cause us trouble.”

“Consider this my revenge.”

“I don’t want to survive if it means I have to stoop to your level.”

“Let’s end this together.”

“I didn’t think this would go exactly as I predicted.”

“This turned out not-so-boring, right?”

“I can’t get over it if I don’t punch you!”

“Ah, you may have deserved that, [name]...”

“It was like this that time too, wasn’t it?”

“Even if we have no future, we need to win.”

“Stop getting in my way.”

“I’m the type who would do anything for fun.”

“You seem like you’re kind of on edge...”

“I won’t let it win...”

“Do you... love killing that much?”

“Like hell am I gonna let you have your way!”

“The situation just got way worse, huh?”

“I offered up that info purely out of spite.”

“I just... can’t lie for you anymore...”

“I... wasn’t boring, right?”

“I... don’t want this to end. I just... don’t...”

“As long as it’s fun, we have to keep doing it.”

“Life’s never easy, huh?”

“Don’t start getting weird thoughts!”

“It was the only way we could survive!”

“Why did I even survive this long?”

“Oh? Are you giving up already?”

“I will use that lie to change the world!”

“That was the right thing to do, right?”

“Even if it’s just fiction, I’ve given my life to make it!”

“Your words can’t reach them anymore.”