#and i wish i had more time but grad school apps are due dec 1st
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someone please kill me, i am literally having doubts about my doubts of applying to medical school
#can someone please just make the choice for me#i literally decided to apply to grad school programs instead a few months ago and i already am having doubts/regrets#i dont want to regret not at least trying to get into med school later in life#but i’m also terrified of being miserable and my mental health declining in med school and regret being in so much debt and not being able#to pay it all back#mental health wise i feel so fragile#but if i were to apply to med school it wouldnt be until june and then it takes a whole nother year to get accepted#who’s to say i won’t feel better after seeing a psychiatrist and being put on my meds again#idk#and i wish i could say well maybe in a few years i’ll apply to med school after grad school#but i would have to take all my prerequisites again because they expire after five years and thats a lot of fucking work#idk part of me feels like im impulsively quitting and settling in a different field because im scared#and the other half of me is right to be cautious and decide on an ‘easier’ path maybe one that’s kinder to me mental health wise but won’t#as fulfilling#i just want to be happy :(((#i want a life outside of work i want to enjoy my friends and family i dont want to feel the way im feeling right now#and i feel like med school/residency it’s only gonna get worse#but i don’t want to live the rest of my life thinking what if? either#i’m so tired#and i wish i had more time but grad school apps are due dec 1st#like if other people can do med school/residency why can’t i???#i just feel so angry all the time#i feel like i’m losing out of something because i’m so fucking depressed#*on something
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