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wotchergiorgia · 1 year ago

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how do people meet? I don't know the answer - I only know that it happens and then you're fucked up. you meet people casually, randomly, only to find out a few seconds later that it wasn't random at all. it was fate - you now know it. you recognized the each other in the exact instant your eyes met for the first time. I could never forget that moment, the first impression I had of you, your messy hair, your funny smile and the way you simply sat next to me (as if God was guarding upon us and leading our souls next to one another). it was a moment, an instant, a second, and I knew it, just like I know what it feels like to have the sun shining and burning on your skin, to have the rain and then the hail falling on your head, making your hair wet. it was both a new and normal feeling, as it seemed to me that we've known the each other for ages. we just connected, in the purest and silliest and flirtiest way possible. and it was so obvious, so evident. everyone started talking about us the way people always gossip about others. but we didn't care, so much so that we almost didn't admit it - admit what was going on between us. and we opened our eyes, together, at the same time, discovering a whole new world made for us only. it was beautiful, because we were together and we forgot everything and everyone else. it firstly was slow, calm, probably terrifying, and then it became so brutally fast that we lost the count of the previous days, as if nothing existed before us and nothing was expected to exist after us. we were the beginning and the end of that little world of ours, we were the masters, the leaders and the destroyers. we perhaps were meant to be, because it was too weird for you as well as for me. I strongly and firmly believe in fate, you know it - I told you on our second date probably. I believe that nothing happens without a reason, that everyone you meet is there because of something you can't immediately explain. and I met you. you met me. we just met, our eyes did so. and I don't know how our future will look like, I don't know how long we're meant to last (though I hope forever), and probably I don't even care that much. currently, everything I'm interested in is to take care of you, to take care of me, of us; I want to believe in us, to support us and make it work out, for I know it can. I just want to nourish this, to let it grow for what it really is. I'm dedicated and I feel you're dedicated as well. I love our daily videocalls, even though they don't last that much. I love saying goodnight to you, sending you kisses and not wanting to hang up the phone. I love downloading the photos you send me, sending you audios only so that you can hear my voice. I love taking pictures for you and talking about you as much as I can. I love the little moments we're sharing on distance - like you shaving your face in the middle of the videocall last night. I love reminding us of the smallest things we shared together while we were not apart - the kind of things you said you love so much. I love reliving our first kiss, all of our hugs. I love reminding myself of the honesty we've put between us since the first day. I love recalling the evolution the two of us had in the past weeks, remembering it day by day, as if no time had passed at all.

but I'm sad sometimes, because I'd love to have a day marked on my calendar, counting down the days before our next meeting. I'd love to have you here, next to me, and just living you as we lived the each other for such a brief time. I'd love to be able to hug you whenever I can, wherever I want, to kiss you on the lips when you compliment me, when you say I'm the smartest, the prettiest, when you say I make you happy and better. because I have no logical or rational response to these and kisses say more than what I can't. I'd love to have our moments back, to come back where I actually belong - between your arms. and I'd love to show the whole world how these things can happen, especially in the most unexpected moments. because I want to prove to myself and the earth that we can make it work, that it can be the most beautiful thing we've ever experienced, we've ever seen.

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mrs-monaghan · 2 years ago

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On tw the cult are also running under jkkrs random posts posting about tk pics saying "keep crying" and asking "are you mad?"..they were barking for days over a hug so who were the mad

and not just tkkers being shady of jkkrs accounts with their lil7 in their bio too.. you know those who are saying that the fandom needs to get rid of ALL delulu shippers....tkkrs can talk about their batshit delulu, saying it's tae and jk karma, jk doing "damage control" bc of that hug, jk support his boyfie bestie".. there is alr a live streaming of jm going to nyc tmrw and what does the cult say: jk chose spending time wih tae instead of jm.. comparing tk stand next to e/o with the hug saying it's obvious which one is in love w e/o

ot7 accounts can post tk vids/photos without having to close their comment section bc of the hate, can speculate abt tk "sub-unit"..

big ot7 accounts and the vilest cultist wanna mass-report ot7 jkkrs and simply jkk focused account w/o any evidence of them being antis to any member but the fandom let of the hook that "ot7" account with 17k followers who created the drama on Saturday and there are shitload of evidences of her being bff with the vilest tkkrs, being shady to jm and jikook and even tkkrs confirmed it that she interacted with them with her old account and who deleted her account and unfollowed tkkrs only when jimin report accounts posted her interactions with jm anti tkkrs..

and you are surprised why there is a huge difference between k-army and i-army when it comes to tkkrs? k-army hates their guts, they call them cockroaches.. they cannot bs k-army with their lies and mistranslations... meanwhile i-army? they kiss their asses.......

Yeah I've said this before. They're scary. And they are. They are bullies and bullies are scary. This is never going to change.

I Will never forget the day they tried to cancel Black and White oh my God what a beautiful day it was. Jikookers were not playing that day. We went to war and it was amazing. They've gone after too many legit Jikook accounts we weren't gonna let them have this one. Also she wasn't having it either.

It was a good day.

The reason why I believe its true that most ot7 accounts are tkkrs is because, if they all decided to not take their shit, these people would cower. If they commented any hate, instead of turning off comments, if the big accounts would just like either call them out or ask people to report. Anything. If they did something. These people wouldn't be as confident as they are now. But because big "ot7" refuse to do anything, tkkrs have gotten real comfortable on that bird app.

But hey, what can you do?

#bts ask #ask shaz #the vermin

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myimaginarywonderland · 7 months ago

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I am sorry normally I wouldn't jump onto a post but you literally put this negativity in the character tags so I feel like this is justified as a response.

I truly mean this not in a bad way but kindly, this is such a wild take.

Let people be enthusiastic! We got another queer character, we have a character whose backstory leaves so much interesting plot room, a character who opens up the potential for a completely new perspective of first responders! There is so much to do here.

I don't know why you would only qualify a relationship as making out, when we have not seen that form one main couple. Hell, Madney hasn't truly shared an on screen kiss in season and no one is doubting that even before their first kiss they were dating?

Yes, we don't yet have a full relationship but I feel like some of you truly don't understand that what Buck and Tommy are doing is literally how most relationships work. You meet someone, you hang out with them or you know talk to them, you decide to go on dates, you spend time together and you get to know each other before you discuss labelling your relationship. Buck and Tommy are so far probably the most realistic couple we have seen because they are just two people who meet and decide to give it a try eventhough they barely know each other. All the other couples knew of each other before or were set up basically but Buck and Tommy are just two people deciding to try because they like each other. That is the most realistic ship we have had yet and while they haven't labelled anything, it is obvious that they are intending to date each other.

I still think Buck wasn't intending to hurt anyone. It was an accident in my eyes. And even then, you can't blame the shippers of even Tommy because the actions were Buck's and Buck's alone. Honestly, we have seen violence multiple times before on this show but it is always brushed over so I don't know why you are all suprised. Also Buck didn't hurt Eddie to get in Tommy's pants. He found himself in a completely new situation overwhelmed by his emotions and hurt by the actions of his friend. We know Buck is traumatized, it just never gets addressed. Buck showed not only an emotional but in my opinion also a trauma response. We have seen Eddie lash out as a trauma response, even physical. And in that case it was with intent. Is it okay? No. But there is layers to it that aren't receded to "I hurt someone because I wanted to fuck you."

This Buck and Maddie take is literally in my opinion fulled by society's underlying homophobia. Why? Because it wouldn't have been a big deal for any of you all if Buck brought some random girl. Eddie is bringing Marisol probably, someone who knows nothing about either Maddie or Chim. Meanwhile, Chim is at least on friendly terms with Tommy and has probably mentioned him to Maddie before. Not to mention the fact that Maddie knows about Tommy because of Buck. Tommy has probably more reason to be at that wedding than either Buckley parent to be honest. Also, it's not a big deal. If you were at a friend's wedding and saw someone bring a guy as a dude, that would not be the talk of the day. You are all making this into a bigger thing then it is. What will be big on a wedding will be the literally couple getting married. No one will look twice if maybe a guest brought someone of the same sex as his date. Hell, we don't even know if Buck hasn't come out yet by the time the wedding has happened considering there is a time jump. Again, who someone brings on a date to a wedding shouldn't matter more than the groom or bride and if it does, I think you all are just seeing the wrong priorities yourself. Not to mention your "You don't want this is really weird." I am sure people have photos of important events all the time where a couple in said photo isn't dating anymore. That's normal. People date, people break up. People might be madly in love at some event and hate each other the next. That is literally life. Why we are focusing on a couple who couldn't even bother to show up the first time their daughter got married is beyond me.

Right, this is such a straight take. "How can you be sure?" Wtf? You don't need to be sure of a relationship to know your sexuality. Tommy isn't someone that magically made Buck bi. Buck has always been bi, he just hasn't realised it. Tommy and Buck dating or not dating doesn't make Buck any less bi. Buck and Eddie dating would not make Buck less bi. Buck and Taylor dating doesn't mean Buck is less bi. Regardless of who he dates, Evan Buckley is a bisexual man and if he wants to tell that while being in a relationship with another men that he can.

Buck isn't hijacking Maddie's wedding. The idea that Buck would invite someone without at least asking Maddie is so absurd. He wanted to even more sure that Eddie was just okay with him possibly being on a date with a man, what makes you all think he didn't ask Maddie if she could maybe keep a seat if Tommy wanted to come? What makes you all think that Maddie and Buck haven't talked? Like, just because we don't see every conversation build up, doesn't mean there wasn't a build up.

Buck and Maddie own their parents nothing. Especially not Buck. They are barely their parents as it is. People don't own anyone a coming out, especially if it's someone who has hurt you.

To see a character that is finding himself, finding happiness in his queer journey and doing that journey at his own pace, as selfish just because he decides which steps to take is literally something homophobic. The assumption that he must do it one way or another is rooted in the fact that straight people think anyone queer owns them a coming out, owns them an explanation of their sexuality.

Also what is wrong with dating someone who likes you? Tommy is the first character who we genuinely see Buck seeking out. Abby sought Buck out, Ali was that weird meeting on call, Taylor again weird meeting on call-ish, same as Natalie.

Tommy isn't giving Buck attention, he wants to get to know him. Tommy likes Buck. Buck likes Tommy. They decide to try out dating. I truly do not get what is so hard to understand here. These are two adults who have meet, who are attracted to each other, who realised they want to get to know each other, who realised they liked who the other was. That's literally the best criteria for starting a relationship.

What is better? What is better than the set up that Buck and Tommy have? It's an honest, realistic approach to a healthy relationship. It's sweet.

Station 19 has literally such a problematic representation, I truly do not understand what is good about it and to pretend like it is good is lying. Both canon queer characters have literally cheated on their partners. Sure, you can say that one still ended up in a good relationship but like, do you all refuse to see the problem here? Not to mention that Travis can not have a good relationship to save his life.

If you truly somehow think that Buck's coming out is about either Eddie or Tommy, that the show is making it that way, then maybe you all can not be saved by media literacy, maybe you all should stop consuming content because nothing about Buck's realisation has been about that. What you are upset about is that Buddie isn't canon. That is all you are upset about. Eddie didn't lose a friend. He even admitted himself that he behaved badly as a friend to Buck. Tommy isn't fawning over Buck or abandoning Eddie. He literally made sure to explain that he wants to be friends with Eddie but that he isn't taking away Buck's friendship with him.

They made Buck bi. They offered him a realisation arc and a potential love interest that has been nothing but kind and understanding. To act like there isn't a good story here is really just being so focused on being bitter about a ship that you can not see the beautiful plot they opened up.

We also literally know Tommy! Tommy has been introduced multiple times before being a love interest. We have already seen a glimpse of his character long before we saw him as a love interest.

You all are judging a ship for lack of build up that was literally introduced a few episodes again, not even at the beginning of the season. How can you judge a ship for build up when you haven't even given the show runners time to build up the ship? Of course we won't get an epic love story yet because we literally just got introduced to the potential of Buck and Tommy as a love story.

How can you demand they tell a good story without even giving them time to tell a story? How can you talk about emotional payout when you haven't even given them time to explore the emotions?

We also don't know if there was a last minute change. Just because something was thrown out there as an idea doesn't mean it was ever in the script. There are so many characters that have been thrown around as potential couple but none ever made it out of the writers room.

If you think that Eddie and Tommy made more sense that is completely okay but they have probably had even less screen time then Buck and Tommy not to mention the fact that most of what we know of their friendship was actually overscreen.

I truly do not understand where this perspective of Tommy paying Buck attention or stroking his ego comes from when we have literally seen all of that from Buck's side. Buck went out of his way to get Tommy's attention, Buck went out of his way to compliment Tommy. Tommy merely recopirated after Buck made the first steps. Also to act like after all his growth Buck still needs to prove himself or become worthy is truly the most insane thing from all of this. Buck has proven himself both in relationships and on the job, he doesn't need someone to confirm that.

To judge Buck for acting like a guy with a crush when this is literally the first time he has been attracted to a guy, the first guy where he actually knew he was crushing on him, is also weird. Buck is acting like a younger version because he is basically entering his first relationship all over again in his mind. Is that so hard to understand? Obviously that isn't the actual reality but that is the reality for Buck right now.

I don't know, I truly think some of your points are just not justified or weird. That being said, obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion but please if you make a post that actually turns into character bashing can you all just please tag it like that so we don't have to see takes like these?

Here's the thing, I have nothing against Lou/Tommy, but the accessive enthusiasm of him returning and everyone already talking about him showing up for next season,

Which if any of you watched for the last 7 seasons, it is very possible because writers love to drag temps over to the next seasons because apparently breakups are for season beginners, mostly (except for taylor),

is very off-putting.

1. Because the dude literally just showed up and they haven't even had one worthy make out session to even call it a situationship.

2. Buck hurt Eddie physically to get into Tommy's mouth and pants, which ruined it for me from the start tbh and Tommy had nothing to do with it, he was just there.

3. Buck has made Maddie's day, his coming out party - that is a big NO in my book. Because one, dude you literally came out, what if you decide eventually that you don't want this or don't want this with this specific first-guy-ever anymore? And two SHE IS YOUR SISTER THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HAVE HER LEAVE ON HER HONEYMOON BEFORE YOU KILL YOUR PARENTS OF A HEART- ATTACK.

Even if they "seem accepting" to Buck’s face, this takes time to process, something better revealed in time and in private, once one is sure. Not thinking and talking about this the whole wedding!

And yes, I know, Buck is impulsive, but think for a second, would you want your baby brother to hijacke your wedding after so long of planning it? I know I would have killed him.

Would have told him in advance that if he's bringing his new boyfriend to my wedding, he better tell our parents first. Because this is my fucking day!

I love Buck, but his self-centered personality rubs me the wrong way this season.

Maybe because I wanted to see him growing the fuck up after 7 years and so many traumas and experiences and therapy that he went through, but nope, same old Buck, only instead of the dating the girl who gave him attention, he's seeing the guy who gave him attention.

It's annoying, it's off putting and frankly I am so mad at the writers and Tim for this because these characters deserved better.

And don't talk to me about representation because Shonda did the bi representation in Station 19 perfectly to the point that I was bummed that Travis and Eli didn't end up as endgame even though I loved Emmett with Travis.

Again somehow the 911 writers managed to taint for me what should have been and amazing experience, independent completely of buddie, but no they managed to not only mix Eddie and Buck with Tommy, the whole thing came at the expense of Eddie, physically and mentally, because not only did Buck not apologized to Eddie, Eddie also lost his new friend who now fawns over Buck.

So screw this storyline, I hate it and I hate how everyone is OK with everything that happened in the story, just because Buck is doing a dude(kissing really, there was no doing yet).

There's a lot of blocking in my future, most are just ppl who either came in now because of bi Buck or those who came from other disappointing fandoms and are just here for the rep not the actual story.

But some of us have been here since S1, we want the rep, but we want it to be complimenting, we want to fall in love with the character before it turns into a LI, we want the emotion, the connection, the obvious love building over several years.

Like Casey and Gabby and Severide and Stella, like Maya and Carina, like Travis and Emmett (even though I liked Eli better for him) like Sullivan and Natasha.

I want an emotional payout, give up the surprises, and the wrecked trucks and ships, just tell a good story!

And for the love of all that's holy, enough with the last-minute changes, those never turn out well in the long run. They literally started from scratch when they made the switch between Eddie and Buck.

Also in my opinion, Eddie had a LOT more chemistry with Lou/Tommy than Buck. It would have made so much more sense, in the catholic guilt and internal homophobia department, the nun and supposedly commitment issues was weak at best.

It could have been epic. 😩

And yes, Buck could have started the season single, no harm in that, maybe make him, I don't know, actually growing into something that he would like without someone else to pet his ego? Go back to therapy, work for the LT. exams, be interim captain, realize his worth and learn to love himself for him, not because someone else gave him attention and that made him preen, get him somewhere worthy. Even lessons with Tommy without involving Eddie in this would have been great.

Just something that shows character development, because up until now all I get is S2/S3 Buck and I've seen that movie before, I want my money back.

I realize this is harsh, and normally, I would stick to the light and fun and ignore the rest, but this had to be said out loud so I can go back to that.

That being said, as I said, I will watch Madney wedding purely for Madney. Anything else is just a bonus. I can't wait for that bachelor party and see wth happens to Chimney.

Happy Monday, my loves. ❤️

#911 abc #tommy kinard #evan buckley

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disorganizedkitten · 2 years ago

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"War Crimes: Estrangement" Author Notes

Okay first things first, what is War Crimes Verse?

That’s it, that’s the explanation.

XD okay if you actually want author’s notes they’re below the cut. I’ll try to have them in order so it’s like reading along with the fic.

Originally I was gonna do the tests as a school thing, and then… I didn’t. I added the hospital scene instead.

And yes, the others have heard enough stories about things like getting dropped out a window that they really don’t like Lady Longbottom.

Neville and Harry being Godbrothers waters my crops and cleans my soul

You know that thing JK said once about Ron's offhand predictions being right? That brings me immense amounts of joy and makes foreshadowing so much easier. >:D

I want you to know that I am so used to my two versions of Delphi (Redheaded Delphini Cygnus Lestrange n Demon Delphi Tamlyn Riddle) that I had to go back and add the descriptions. I didn’t even notice till way later in the fic that ‘oh, yeah, this isn’t the version from Cursed Child. Should prolly say that.’

If you pick up on Harry's subplot and can guess the name I'll write you a 200 word snippet.

Considering the amount of misinformation bouncing around between the POVs, I doubt you'll catch it - therefore if you do, I also wanna know your theory as to how.

I spent 15-30 minutes ironing out how this worked with Mewo and made them start a new story. Appreciate us

Ron is the dad friend, I don’t take criticism.

The you-know-where is the Chamber. If they were going to the RoR they’d be able to get in themselves.

Horcrux possession is underused honestly

Also Myrtle Warren deserves better so I made her and Harry genuine friends.

This happened at the CoS scene n I think u can tell

'The other parselmouth,' I write, knowing full well I've put three in Harry's year alone.

Yes Ron is planning to kidnap Neville and stage an accident so his Gran is forced to buy him a new wand, your point?

Y'all I almost added that Fay could talk to forest spirits/fairies but Fay being a Dunbar-Black instead of just Dunbar carries such a large butterfly effect, and I didn't wanna deal with it, so y'all get blonde Fay instead. /shrug

Mewo tells me it's very obvious when the above happened. If it's not, it was the scene after the metamorph convo, when everyone's being wigged out by Harry

Mandy being a Gryff was random but I needed ten people. It’s really weird for me, actually, because in my head she’s solidly a ravenclaw. The NOPC Ravenclaw girl’s dorm has Padma, Bry, Su, Mandy, and I think Lisa Turpin? Idr the 5th- ohh yeah I made up a Rosier kid for plot reasons.

This could also be considered random headcanons piled together for fun and profit. I have no idea where Parvati being a Banshee came from, I was writing and said "yo that'd be fun, who should it be" and couldn't do Lav cause she was a muggleborn. I mean she didn't stay one but still

Seamus is an unspecified fire spirit bc my research wasn't doing much and I wanted to be done. He also explodes stuff.

If you've noticed the common wandless and/or silent magic, that's because I want to have competent characters and so I made them so. Plus, the Weasley Twins' power and smarts are underrated in the books, in a universe where they have a larger friend group and more focus, they'd be cooler. (Also, Ginny wrote the Bat-bogey hex, people just don't notice because there are so many hexes; I love that hc)

The galleons have a 30 character limit bc I’m in charge and galleons are tiny

editor is here and editor is confussled

e/n #1: *hugs neville*

e/n #2: cheese

e/n #3: blue eyes? might you mean a z u r e o r b s?

(More photos I’m not giving more context to)

#Consquences Of War Crimes May Include #Jaymeow writes #Jaymeow Speaks #Hp ff #Neville Longbottom #Delphi (Harry Potter)#NOPC Adjacent Fics #Will link the fic in like an hour once I've got it on ao3 #Consequences Of War Crimes May Include #War Crimes Verse

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notafraidofredyellowandblue · 4 years ago

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Richard, man of contradictions..

In the past i did some rammblings on

Olli the balanced

My take on Till

Paul - the chameleon - Landers

(and for some reason i think i did Flake as well, but i can't seem to find it) (i blame tumblr.. 😁)..and i always wanted to do one on Richard, but for some reason that appeared a lot more difficult.. i think it's because he seems to be a man of contradictions..

'the only rockstar in the band' 《》 not nearly as much in the public eye as other musicians (or some bandmates)

needs 'drama' (even sometimes creates it) 《》 would like it best if the others just went along with him

very much into sex and drugs and rock&roll 《》 seemingly quite happy to just hang out at home and work

very fickle in relationships (work, but i think also privatly) 《》 absolutely devoted to his family and (very close) friends

very much aware of appearance&looks 《》 happy to go out (and publish photos of himself on IG) in the same casual outfit he has been wearing for ages (and even a reasonbly priced one at that)

confident in defending his work against the others' criticism 《》 a worrier, always thinking it isn't good enough, wanting to do more..to do better..

wanting his privacy 《》 oversharing in many an interview about what he thinks and how he feels at that moment (and having several indiscreet girlfriends and relatives sharing bits of his private bubble on social media)

not being a teamplayer 《》 wanting to work in a team (otherwise he'd have quit Rammstein a long time ago)

..and i think these contradictions also echo in his relationships with his bandmates..

Till

imo Richard simultanously looks out for and looks up to Till, getting him with the band as a singer, seeing his potential, and also very much wanting Till's input and opinion on his work, playing it for him before he shares it with the other 4. There have been many years where in every random Richard interview you can find, he gushes about Till in some way or other.

But also: Till imo is not a fan of the drama and Richard not necessarily understands and/or agrees with Till's work (imo Till's 'love of pain' is not Richard's cup of tea) and while he very much likes for Till to pursue his own music too (like Richard does), he would also like to just hang out with him more, just the two of them..

Flake

In a way seemingly two polar opposites; two people you'd never expect in one band together (not even in one musical genre), imagewise: Richard the 'slick diva/rockstar', Flake the 'mock-grumpy local pubdweller/storyteller', you can't get more down to earth than Flake (or you'd be underground), while 'down to earth' is probably the one thing you'd never associate with Richard.

In reality though, and certainly in more recent years, they do appreciate eachother, Flake saying nice things about Richard in his podcast (that he's such a prolific creator, touching on one of the things that are actually important to Richard), Richard (and his family) actually listening to Flake's podcast (no not just that one 😊) and imo liking the fact that with Flake you always know what you can expect.

Olli

I have a feeling that Olli's quiet confidence works very well with Richard, it balances things out, steadies him a bit, and though Olli likes his privacy a lot as well (but different from Richard actually manages to achieve that) and we know very little about their actual relationship, when they interact it always seems 'real' and never forced or played-for-the-fans.

But Olli is not a pushover, and will speak his mind if he doesn't agree with Richard, and if Richard gets too muddled in his own importance, imo he'd just ignore him until Richard tones things down again.

Schneider

Schneider filled in many roles in the band-to-Richard dealings: joining in wanting to do new stuff, putting Richard in his place when he takes it too far, mediator between the others (and sometimes plain 'parenting' if needed), being one of the most adamant in putting the blame in the Mutter-era-drama, goofing around as one of the boys...

But also.. they do see eachother privately on occassion (maybe Richard sees the others too, but from Richard/Schneider there's actually evidence of it 😉). They do yoga together before a show (and have for some years), and on stage they clearly have the drummer-guitarist relationship that you have in a rockband and which (imo) with the rest of the strings-section keeps Rammstein to still be a rockband (aside from the show, the theater, the performance).

Paul

(as you might already have guessed from some other posts on this blog, for me the most inspiring of the inter-Rammstein-relationships 🍀)

Often a difficult relationship, explosive, aggravating, in a way it wasn't always obvious they would manage to remain bandmates for over 25 years, I'm sure both have on occassion wondered if it was still worth it. Paul's skill in spotting a weak spot in another person probably often triggered Richard's fighting spirit and the feeling to defend his work. And just like in his wrestlingmatches, Richard was never one to sit back and let a fight develop, calculating his next move, but quickly chose the attack; often resulting in leaving his defense open for his opponent to counterattack... thus creating a weak spot, for Paul to dig in to, and so it continued..

At the very beginning though Richard mentioned Paul as (paraphrasing) 'he completes me', their work in the early days (before and at the start of Rammstein) was very much an addition to the other's, and they have the same hunger for new stuff, creating something and performing.. and after many years of quarrelling learned (with some therapy i think) to listen to eachother again and even have new found appreciation. And while on stage i'm sure Paul often thinks Richard is too serious, and Richard is annoyed when Paul misses cues when he goofs around too much, imo Richard loosening up a bit is actually under the influence of Paul's interactions.

That, and that they are both the more natural huggers of the band, which the others i'm sure don't mind, they take out on eachother rather than on them 🤗

#rammblings #long post sorry #richard man of contradictions #richard kruspe #rammstein

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stray-kids-react · 4 years ago

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Polaroid

Han x Fem. Reader Soulmate au

Warnings - Swearing, mentions of sex, and Fluff that'll make you cry.

Masterlist

...

Y/n's pov, November 27 2020

My mother once told me that I will know when I'm in love, she never specified what hints will cross my path... She just said I'll know.

As a young adult now, sharing an apartment with my close friend Yeji. I'm starting to become impatient with this whole game of love, why can't I just get told who is my perfect match. I'm so tired of having my hopes risen up and then crashed down onto my heart... Breaking it each time.

"Any plans today?" Yeji asked from the kitchen, making me cringe at the word plans.

I just was still recovering from a terrible break up, where I caught the supposedly love of my life slurping the life out of his assistants pussy. I won't forget the feeling of my heart completely stopping for a few seconds, as my mind told me to run and not look back.

"Yes actually, I have a date with Netflix and the leftovers in the fridge." I replied, slyly smirking as she stared at me like a worried mother.

"Well Netflix isn't going to have to wait for his turn. Because I have this guy who is really interested you and is a total sweetheart." She sighed, showing me a photo of the guy she was trying to set me up with.

"Yeah... No." I replied, beginning to retreat back to my room.

"Y/n! JISUNG TOLD ME!" Yeji announced, catching my attention from the front of my bedroom door.

"I-it's still a no Yeji." I whimpered, shutting the door harshly behind me as she sighed in defeat.

Yeji's pov

She needs to get out of this place, it's been two weeks now. All over a guy she barely even knew, I know the true reason she is hiding and she will never admit it.

Y/n is scared to see his face again, our best friend Han Jisung. The best friend that she happened to fall in love with, and moved away from after she got accepted into the university of her dreams.

They were never just best friends in anyone's eyes, not even there own. Yet they both tried to fill in the whole in their heart with other people, never realizing that all they had to do was just say three difficult words.

Y/n was in a hurry to find her perfect partner after I found mine, the man next door with the matching tattoo on his wrist. Your tattoo shows up when you are over the age of 19 and are near your soulmate, it shows up on your wrist, neck, or shoulder blade.

She didn't want to see Jisung in case that tattoo never came, they both wouldn't be able to handle the realization. But it is a part of life, and I'm not going to let my best friends live alone when they could have a chance to be in love and happy.

Han wanted to see us both while he was visiting the city, even though he knew the risk of utter devastation. That fake profile was just a set up so that she would finally meet up with Han, and she probably already knew about my plans.

I walked up to her door cautiously, gently brushing my knuckles against her door.

"Y/n... I know why you are actually upset."

Y/n pov

"Because of Han Jisung." I answered, brushing past the old childhood photos saved on my phone.

"I know that's what you were going to say Yeji, and you're right. I know I won't be able to take it if the guy I love isn't the one for me, and that all of those nights alone with him that are coded into my brain are worthless. I'm scared Yeji, I'm scared that I won't be able to think of most of my life without tearing up." I explained, as she plopped down on my bed next to me.

"You're fear will just get worse until you find out, you'll never know the result until you actually try." She replied, placing my head on her shoulder for comfort.

I let out a shaky breath as a couple tears streamed down my cheeks, she was right as usual. But I still needed at least one day to prepare myself.

"Fine, but let me rest today. I'm not going to fancy restraint with puffy eyes and bed head." I remarked, watching as a sly smile spread across her lips.

She slowly began to exit my bedroom, delighted that she finally got her way with me. Not even explaining who that fake date even was, probably just a random guy from Google. It was 11:30 at night, and all of my crying really wore the energy out of my body and mind.

So eventually sleep crossed paths with my mind and hooked up, completely losing consciousness as my memories flashed like a polaroid camera.

December 15th 2018

"I can't believe we're graduating this year, seems like we only started high school yesterday." Jisung sighed, carrying both of our bags while walking home together.

"Don't worry quokka, you'll still carry my bags for me even after high school." I teased, pinching the reddened skin of his cheeks.

"Oh very funny, and you'll still put crackers in your mouth and pretend to be a walrus." He remarked dodging the snowball that came his way.

He set my bags down on my front yard as he gathered his own army of cold fluff balls. I tackled him to the ground as we both drowned the silence in laughter, I traced my frosted mittens across his face. Gently crossing his lips as he brushed the snow chunks from my hair.

The close warmth of his breath against my face sent my heart into a frenzy, I secretly craved the closeness of him... But I never wanted to admit it in case I'd lose him.

His now glossed lips looked so kiss able, the way they pouted as he focused on my hair. And how they stretched into a warm smile that left a fuzzy feeling in my heart for years, made it only harder to stop myself from interlocking them with mine.

"I better get going bun bun. I'll see you tomorrow at school though." Jisung reassured, lightly booping my nose as he left his trail from my snowy front yard. Waving one last time to catch my attention as I was at the front door.

"Farewell loser!" He shouted, showing off that bright smile of his.

"Farewell to you as well, asshole!" I retorted, giggling as I walked into my empty house all alone.

November 28th 2020

Y/n pov

"Wake up! Time for bubble tea!" Yeji screamed, jumping on top of me as she consistently hit me with my own pillows.

"I thought we were meeting Jisung later." I sighed, looking at the red numbers of my alarm clock reading 7:30am.

"Yes we are, but I want bubble tea and to talk with you about some stuff I found out." Yeji replied, pulling me out of bed to soon push me into the washroom.

I complied to her excited energy, understanding it is pretty exciting for her.

The steaming water swallowed every inch of my skin, blocking out all of the noises outside. Only leaving me and the blank wall to stare at, droplets of water racing against each other. A flash of the mirror and sunlight clashing, sending the flash of a polaroid to my memories.

August 16th 2018

Yeji squealed as her boyfriend threw her into the pool, soon joining her in a large cannonball jump. All of his friends danced around with liquor drenching their breath, as their bodies clashed together in ways they didn't fully understand.

It wasn't my style of fun, it instead gave me a wave of fear and stress. Not recognizing any of these people, while they danced around half naked. Yeji's boyfriend decided that she had enough fun for one night, and took her home to rest.

I hurriedly gathered my belongings and rushed out the door, just as excited and horny shouts came from the pool. I was okay to walk home alone, it felt nice to be surrounded my silence for once. Even if my conscious tortured me about every bad possibility.

"Need a drive home party animal?" a familiar voice called from across the road, that voice of the man who has always had my back.

"I'd actually really like that." I replied, feeling a wave of comfort when I entered the car.

"I can tell your a bit freaked out." He sighed, throwing his bad into the backseat.

"That party was just... A lot. A lot more than I expected." I whimpered, still a bit overwhelmed from the experience.

"How about you stay at my place for the night. We'll even watch some American horror story..." Jisung suggested, even though he was shit terrified of anything remotely scary.

"I'm holding you to it quokka." I giggled, slapping his thigh teasingly.

We drove to his home as the car filled with a random playlist of songs, one landing on my favorite 'Turning Page'.

"I didn't know you liked this song." I commented, blushing softly at the tone of the song.

"I want this to be the song that represents me and my soulmate. It sounds cheesy, but it's true." He revealed, glancing my way as the car stopped in the from of his home.

The whole topic of soulmates use to be humorous to me, remembering when me and Han drew matching docks on our palms as 'our' symbol. Even taking a polaroid photo of the amazing art we drew, I still have it in my phone case.

Then it hit me, how much it would hurt to see him destined with someone other then me. That moment when he glanced back into my eyes with a shy smile, is when I admitted to myself for falling madly in love with my best friend.

November 28th 2020

I walked along the streets of our home town, hanging my mask off my chin when sipping my bubble tea.

"You know what's crazy." Yeji started, catching my focus immediately.

"I remember the moment you started crushing on Jisung. You didn't even have to tell me, I already knew." She admitted, gazing at me with only a soft warmth in her eyes.

"It was obvious by how many photos you had of him and you on your wall, and the way you looked at him as if he were your dream person." She continued, texting something on her phone that I couldn't quite see.

"Or how when he caught you staring he'd reply with 'take a picture it'll last longer'... And you always did to get revenge. I will never forget the day I saw you two as more then best friends, that was the same day when I bought you that polaroid camera for Christmas. " She replied, taking a short break as her hands nervously fidgeted with her skirt.

"That's why I want a 'thank you' later on." She mumbled, before running off and leaving me completely stunned on the bench.

"Y/n..."

September 14th 2018

"It's crazy that this is your last day here." I sighed, trying my best not to cry.

He nodded trying to smile the pain away like me, but soon caving in once his arms met my body. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, hoping I could capture his scent one last time.

"I'll still visit. I can't cope without seeing your face, asshole." He chuckled lightly, sniffling quietly when he retracted his arms away.

He stared at my features for a few long seconds, as if he was contemplating on doing something. Jisung shook his head, smiling brightly once more as he pulled me into one last hug.

As he put his palm on the door knob, I shouted his name one last time. Running across the room towards him, he turned around immediately dropping his bangs on the ground.

He instantly knew what I was going to do, since his lips molded with mine without one ounce of hesitation. His hands lost in my hair, pulling me closer and closer until there was no space between us. Jisung's lips were so much sweeter and softer then any other kiss I've had.

The sweetness was sprinkled with the salty taste of our mixed tears. Only creating more as the kiss began to end, both of us realizing we should've told each other so much sooner.

"I love you." We both sighed at the same time, smiling sadly at the bittersweet sting in our hearts.

November 28th 2020

"Jisung..." I gasped, turning around quickly to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

"W-wow... You've really. Wow." He stuttered, cautiously inching closer towards me.

"You too." I chuckled airily, swallowing back my tears. I missed him so much, but it hurt too much to see him at the same time.

"Y/n... I know it's been a while. But I honestly came here because I needed to see you. I still love you, and I don't care if we're soul mates or not. I'll sharpie our own symbol on us everyday if I have to." He revealed, grasping my hands between his own.

"I'm sorry that I was being so selfish." I sighed, caving into my own tears. Regretting my fears of seeing him again, feeling terrible for torturing him just as much as I tortured myself.

"We are both scared. It's not our fault, but I just want us to accept that things may not go our way. But that won't stop us from being together." He reassured, lightly brushing frosted his mitten across my features. Glossing over my lips gently, his eyes warm and gentle as they fluttered shut.

I molded into his kiss immediately, lacing my fingers through his silky hair. Soon pulling him closer to my so there was no space between us, making sure no one could try and ruin this moment for us.

His lips still were as sweet as the first time they molded into mine, and his fingertips could still make my legs give out by how gentle they were against my skin. Every emotion flashed through my mind, all my regrets, confidence, love, lust... It all flashed just like a...

"Polaroid." He gasped, tugging my palm next to his as the ink slowly traced the same picture into my palm. The picture of the camera that captured all the moments I treasured with my soulmate, the soulmate that was everything I could've asked for.

#stray kids #kpop #skz scenarios #stray kids reactions #han jisung #han jisung x you #han jisung x reader #jisung oneshots #skz jisung #skz oneshots #han jisung icons #han jisung imagines #han jisung oneshot #skz imagines

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years ago

Text

The Photographer // Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

So I made a one-shot based off of the picture down here!

Word count ~ 3.1k

Summary - y/n is a celebrity photographer, and Matthew's birthday is coming up. This calls for a birthday shoot.

Ever since I was in sixth grade, I dreamed of being a photographer. But back then, I was just taking candid pictures of my cat (Peanut Butter), and random flowers that my mom had graciously planted for me. I really never planned on taking nice, professional pictures of people.

But here I was.

I went to 'California College of Arts' in San Francisco for 4 years. After that, I had a bit of trouble getting myself out there. I had a decent following on my instagram. People liked the pictures of my dog, and the pictures of nature that I took on my many travels. But likes and follows don't get you money, at least not enough. So I switched my focus onto more interesting things.

Advertising yourself as a photographer wasn't an easy task. You had to be ruthless, and be willing to get rejected and not back down. So I did what any semi-sane person would do.

I messaged over 50 celebrities asking of they wanted to do a shoot with me. I sent them my prices, and what kinds of shoots I was willing to do. I didn't have much hope for it, but it was worth a try.

And that's where it began.

Out of all of the messages, Andrew Lincoln, AKA Rick from The Walking Dead messaged me back.

*Hello Miss y/l/n! I've actually seen quite a few of your nature shots and I have always wondered how your photos would turn out with people. I would love to be your Guinea Pig.*

He sent me days he was available and I did his shoot. After posting his pictures, my popularity shot from there.

That was a few years ago, I was now taking photos for multiple celebrities. I was ultimately known for my black and white shoots. I had, in fact, just gotten done with a shoot of A.J. Cook. She had requested *me* to take her pictures for an up and coming article that was being written about her. I, of course, gratefully said yes, being a huge fan of hers, along with the whole Criminal Minds cast.

I emailed her all of the pictures I had taken, edited and all, while simultaneously posting them on my instagram.

It was mere hours later before a notification popped up on my phone of an email that I could not believe. Theres no way that he was emailing me, right?

*You have an Email from Matthew Gray Gubler*

*Hi there! I saw your shoot on AJ's instagram and my birthday is coming up. My manager wants me to do a birthday shoot, and we both like your black and white style. I know it's not usually the kind of thing you, birthdays, do but I figured it was worth a shot, and I think you have some real talent. Let me know when you are free next. I am on a break so my schedule is relatively flexible.*

I could safely say that it was a good thing that I lived alone because I don't think I have ever screamed louder into a pillow. Matthew has been one of my favorite celebrities for the longest time. If we were going to be completely honest, once I started watching Criminal Minds, I immediately had a crush on him. This wasn't exactly the profession to be in if you were going to have a celebrity crush. I was often invited to red carpets and movie premiers, so I met quite a few stars. I never thought I would have to worry about slipping up on my professionalism.

Because I never thought I would even meet him.

My obvious answer to his request was yes. I would never *ever* miss an opportunity to have a photoshoot with someone so inspiring and meaningful to me. So I started writing an email back.

*Hi Matthew!*

Should I address him like that? Is that unprofessional?

*Hi Mr. Gubler*

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

*Hi Matthew!* We are gonna stick with that. *I don't know if this is too short of a notice, but I actually have a free spot tomorrow. (Of course if that doesn't work for you, I can figure something out for later, and try to fit it in before your birthday). I have a few ideas for props that I can send you? Let me know how I can help.*

I sent it and ran my hands through my hair, tossing my phone back onto my comforter. I had taken pictures of so many awesome celebrities:

• Selena Gomez

• Robert Downey Jr.

• Dylan O'Brien

• Grant Gustin

• Holland Roden

• Danai Gurira

But this was by far the coolest one, in my mind at least.

While waiting a little to anxiously for a reply, I decided I was going to make myself some lunch, Ramen. I set my phone on the counter as I boiled my noodles, peering over at the blank screen every few seconds (but really they felt like **minutes**).

Just as I was adding the flavour packet to the bowl my phone buzzed. I jumped slightly, spilling part of the packet out of the bowl.

"Damnit." I quickly wiped the salt into the trash can and snatched my phone, seeing another email.

*Tomorrow is actually perfect, and I would love to hear your recommendations on props, clothes, anything really. I'm going to leave my number on this email so we can have easier contact of that's okay with you.*

Wow, alright. I will now have Matthew Gray Gublers number in my phone. I made a contact for him.

**It's y/n, soooo for props. I figured I could bake you a cake! I took a few baking electives in college so I could make a really nice one and we can do something with it. I recommend you bring clothes you like to wear that are black and white. (Other colors work too, but it just looks and flows better if it's black and white). I will set the rest of the stuff up. I will be ready for you by 1 pm if that's okay.**

*You would bake me a cake?! That would be super cool thank you! I would love that. I will bring a few black and white outfits. Would it be weird if I brought a black and white Kimono?*

A chance to see Matthew in a kimono? Please yes.

**Oh my gosh please do. I would love to take pictures of you in an infamous kimono of yours.**

*Awesome! I will see you tomorrow at 1. Heres my managers info for you to sell the billing to.*

He attatched his managers email. I just sat at my kitchens island, smiling like a true dork at my phone.

**And here is my address, I run the studio at my house. What is your favorite cake and icing by the way? :)**

Was a smiley face unprofessional?

I need to chill out.

*Vanilla cake and chocolate frosting possibly? I will eat anything though probably. :)*

Now I was really smiling at my phone like a psycho idiot.

**Alrighty, see you tomorrow**

Since I didn't want to wake up too early tomorrow, I decided I was going to start the cake tonight. I had quite a few recipes held in my cabinets. I located my vanilla cake recipe and put my pre-made chocolate frosting on the counter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about an hour of preparing, making a cake from scratch, and putting it in the oven. The cake was finally done and cooled. I added black cocoa to the frosting to make it completely black and got out my white gel.

*You made it 3 decades :)*

Was scrawled in calligraphy on the top of the cylindrical cake. I added white drips down the sides and white multi shaped sprinkles to the bottom part.

I set it in my fridge and got ready for bed. I know it's going to be hard to sleep just thinking about tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My alarm woke me up at 10 am, never before this had I woke up with a smile on my face before 12.

I took a quick shower and dressed in a white and blue floral romper with my hair in a high ponytail. Now it was time to set up backgrounds for the shoot.

I had two stations downstairs where I took all my photos. I set the first one up very normal with a white background and a rustic black stool. The second one was set up with another white background but littered with black streamers and big *30* black and white speckled balloons strung at the top.

Once I was done with all that. It was nearing 1. I slipped the cake out of the fridge and slid it onto my island. I glanced up at the clock above my stove.

*12:49*

Since I just had a little bit of time, I went a put some simple makeup on. I usually don't wear makeup when taking pictures of people, but for obvious reasons, I was making an exception.

Just as I was leaving my bathroom I heard a knock at my door. I walked swiftly to my door and opened it shakily.

"Hi!" He held up the clothes that were hung lazily over his arm. He smiled that million dollar smile and I could have sworn he looked me up and down.

Wishful thinking I guess.

"Welcome!" I stepped out of the doorway, silently inviting him in. "If you wanna set your stuff down, those stairs to the right lead you down the the studio."

"Thanks." He scurried down the stairs as I grabbed the cake and followed him down. I set it on a table that I had down there, he peered over at it and immediately burst into fits of laughter.

"I knew you had a sense of humor, so why put something normal and boring on the cake." I laughed with him as he tried to catch his breath.

"This is so perfect." He laughed a little more. "Thank you, so much." I shrugged with a smile. I posed him in front of the streamers with the cake.

He made some silly faces and smiled like there was no tomorrow. Next I brought him to the more plain station, sitting him on the stool. I looked through the lenses of the camera and glared a bit.

"Hey can you put your left leg up on the second peg of the stool?" I asked, pointing to his leg.

"This one?" He put it on the third. I shook my head. "This one?" He moved it down the the fourth. He was smiling a sly smile, seemingly challenging me.

"Let me do it for you." I had to pose people often, but posing him was going to be a little harder for me, considering I found him painfully attractive.

I moved his leg up to the second one and patted it.

"Now leave it there, so I don't have to help you again." I giggled, walking back to my camera. Taking a picture of him leaning forward on the stool and smiling. I then made him laugh and got a good genuine one of him leaning back and laughing. After all that, I proposed that we eat some cake and took a break.

I cut him a slice and handed it to him with a smile.

"So, tell me about yourself." He said, eating a bite of his cake.

"Well, I have always enjoyed photography. I love all types of art, so I also draw and paint often. And I have a black cat upstairs. His name is-" and I stopped, blood rushing to my cheeks. He is most certainly going to ask me the name, and I do not want to tell him.

He stared at me expectantly. "What is his name?" He motioned me to go on.

"Uh," I laughed a little awkwardly, setting my hands in my lap and staring at them. "His name is Spencer. As in Spencer Reid..." I glanced up at him and saw a huge grin break out on his face.

"So you like Criminal Minds? I never would have guessed. You just don't seem the type."

"Well all my memorabilia is in my room, just so people don't think I'm weird for having quite a few framed and signed posters." I smiled up at him, pushing around the remaining cake crumbs on my plate.

"One, That's not weird, that's awesome. Two, can I please meet Spencer and take pictures with him in my kimono."

I don't think I have ever heard a better sentence in my entire life.

"Yes, absolutely! I'll go get him." I clunked up the stairs on my search to find Spencer. I went to his usual spot first, my bed. Luckily he was sitting there, licking his outstretched foot. "Hi baby! You are about to take pictures with the guy you are named after. He almost as cute as you!" I grabbed him from the bed an headed back downstairs. I walked in with the accidental impeccable timing to see Matthew in his barely tied kimono, showing off his chest. My eyes widened a bit and he tied it off fully.

"Is this the famous Spencer?! He is so cute!" He reached his arms out at Spencer. My little fluff ball curled up into him instantly, cuddling into his silky kimono.

We took many many pictures of Spencer and Matthew together. I think maybe my cat likes him more than he likes me now.

"Okay, last idea. How about we just take some more up close pictures of me feeding you some cake?" It came put as a question because I didn't know how comfortable he would be with it.

"Perfect!" I cut another slice of the cake and brought it over to him. We were both sitting on the floor.

"This might be a little awkward, okay?" I giggled as I leaned back to get his whole face in the shot. This proved to be very difficult as I was using my left hand to take the picture. I fed him the cake with the right as he looked at the camera with a more seductive look. I could have melted into the floor.

I decided to switch hands so I could take the photos better, but now my very uncoordinated hand was the one picking up the cake. As I went down to get another section of the cake for another angle of feeding this sculpture of a man, I instead dipped my thumb right into the deep black frosting.

"Shit, I'm so sorry hold on." As I went to stand up and grab a napkin to wipe my thumb off, Matthew grabbed my wrist lightly.

"Hold on, uh, I have an idea, before you do anything." I sat down with a confused look. "I saw someone do this in another shoot. But we totally don't have to do it. I just thought it would be a different idea." His words were more rushed than usual.

"I'm sure I've done weirder things for other shoots, don't worry. It's *your* shoot." I reassured him, though my head was swimming wondering what he was going to do.

"Ok. So. What I'm going to do is put your thumb in my mouth, and I'm basically gonna, uh, suck on it while kinda smiling?" He could barely get through the whole thing without laughing.

"Alright, weird request but I like it!" I giggled for what seemed like the 30th time today. "And to make you feel better, yes, I have done weirder."

"Thank God."

"So I am guessing you want me to do something like this with the rest of my hand, ya know, the part that's not in your mouth." I stated as I placed my hand on his cheek. He let a slow breath out, staring into my eyes.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Okay." I said with a shrug, grabbing my camera from the ground. He opened his mouth with an all too familiar wide grin as I placed my thumb in. His mouth closed around it and he smiled, just a little. I brought my camera to my face, capturing the moment that I would have forever in my mind and in a small frame on my bedroom wall, for sure.

I slipped my thumb from his mouth and watched as his face turned extremely red. To save him embarrassment, I immediately stood up and grabbed a napkin to wipe the rest of the frosting off.

"Can I see it?" He motioned to the camera. I nodded, sitting down right beside him, showing him the picture. It showed off a closer look at the rose tattoos I had near my wrists and the shiny watch that was gifted to me by my mom. "It turned out good! I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Oh no! Of course not. Total opposite." As soon as I said that I regretted it.

"So that made you extremely comfortable?" A sly smile was making it's way onto his face.

"That's, that's not- You know what? Sure, yes." I chuckled. "You don't really make me uncomfortable at all to be honest. So no, you didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Well I'm glad." He smiled and we sat in silence for a moment.

"Well I guess that's it yeah?" He nodded. "Well this was fun. Thanks for being an excellent subject to take pictures of."

He gathered his stuff as we went back upstairs. Once at the door, Spencer came up to him, rubbing on his leg. He bent over to pet him.

"So, I'm not sure if you are single or not." I could feel the blood draining from my face. Was this really happening right now? "But I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date?"

Yes, this was happening right now.

"Really?" I could tell I sounded extremely excited, but at this point, I didn't even care.

"Yeah, you are super laid back, funny, talented, and you aren't scared away by how weird I am." He laughed, "So yes?"

"I would absolutely love to."

"Great. I'll text you." He winked and waved as he closed the door, leaving.

My back went against the door. I couldn't keep in the squeal so I just embraced it and squealed my heart out, doing a little dance.

Which was quickly ended when I heard a knock at the door.

"I'm sorry, I want to get to know you better immediately." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Are you free for the rest of the day?" I was sure that my face was red as a tomato.

"Yes I am." He grabbed my hand, dragging me outside.

"Then let's go."

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fic #matthew gray gubler #matthewgraygubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #MGG #mgg x reader #mgg fic #mgg fanfiction

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tyunniverse · 4 years ago

Text

FRIENDS FOR A DAY (2)

pair: yeonjun x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2654

parts: 1 | 2

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

It had been a long time since Yeonjun felt like this. Sometimes life in general had become too much to bear and the things that used to make him happy weren't working for him anymore. Times spent alone slowly became more frequent for him than times he'd spent with his friends.

He'd skipped the first day, not wanting to go back to that routine life just yet. And towards the start of the day, he would never have imagined meeting you and getting to spend the day doing things that strayed far from any of the schedules he'd previously planned. A breath of fresh air was what he liked to call it, and he had you to thank for that.

Unlike him, everything was new to you; a new city, a new school, new people, and a whole new life ahead. Yeonjun felt a little envious after realizing it when you'd talked more about yourselves during lunch, but after seeing how you seemed to enjoy every single second of your little sight seeing endeavor, he thought that maybe he could also be a part of something new in your life.

Best friends.

You had agreed to be his best friend from today onwards; the pendant around your neck serving as proof. Yeonjun finds his hand wandering over to his pocket, holding on to his old necklace.

Half of a star. He'd bought it a few years back. The necklace had a similar purpose with the one he was wearing now— meant to be worn separately by two different people. In his case, he had bought it as a whole and had decided to keep one half of it still in its case, stashed inside his closet. His reasons for purchasing it never really felt clear even to him but he also wouldn't call it an impulsive decision. Yeonjun liked to think that he'd be able to find a use for it in the future.

"Yeonjun." You call for his attention, pointing at the posters plastered on a random shop's wall. "It says that the annual carnival will be opening tonight. Wanna go?"

Yeonjun grins. Opportunities somehow kept showing up right in front of his doorstep. "Yeah, only if you want to though. Afterall, I'm only the tour guide for today."

"Shut up." You hold back a smile. "Have you been there before?"

Yeonjun repeats the question in his mind. As someone one would consider pretty popular, you'd expect him to be no stranger in hanging out at fun places like an annual carnival, but that's just it. Yeonjun had never visited that Carnival once ever since it opened. His friends had asked him to tag along but something about it just never seemed to make him want to.

"No." Yeonjun answers, scratching the back of his head. "If we end up going then this would be my first time too." The first time he'd actually wanted to go.

"I guess we're going then." You grin and Yeonjun finds himself smiling back. "It says here that the Carnival's just around the corner so it'd probably be okay if we just walked there."

"Yeah."

The two of you make your way to the Carnival. You still had a good amount of time left before it opened so a few quick stops at some stalls along the way didn't do any harm.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

In all honesty, Yeonjun didn't even know when and how he'd ended up holding your hand, laughing his heart off by the time you arrived at the entrance but it all just happened somehow. Was it the when your ice cream cone almost landed straight on his shoe earlier? Or when his hand nearly hit you square in the face when he noticed a bug flying towards you? It could've even been when a group of old ladies started hitting on him at the handbag boutique and all you did was stand there shaking, wanting to laugh your ass off.

No matter what the reason was, he liked this. Somehow, it just felt right.

The two of you pay for the tickets before heading inside. The place was larger than any of you had ever expected, cleaner too. People of all ages were enjoying their carnival experience to the fullest. Children were running around with their guardians following closely behind, couples and groups of friends chatting along and taking pictures— Yeonjun could swear he saw two old men arguing over who gets to take a picture with the mascot first.

"So, which ride do you wanna go on first?" You ask, turning to him.

"Well, how about that one." Yeonjun points at the viking and you feel yourself getting more and more excited.

"NICE—" Before Yeonjun knew it, you were dragging him around to every single ride at the carnival.

You liked to keep count of everytime Yeonjun freaked out while you went on the rides, and Yeonjun liked to do the same. Despite the thrill of being at a carnival keeping you hyped up, there were a few times when you had overestimated your tolerance with being thrown around. Yeonjun nearly puked twice: once at the twister, and a second time on the rollercoaster. Even you were almost a victim by the rollercoaster's loops.

Yeonjun had claimed he was an expert at navigating haunted house attractions, stating, "I've been watching horror movies all my life. Nothing scares me at this point, tbh." True enough, nothing scared Yeonjun except every single ominous decoration and jump scares the haunted house threw at him. You weren't too fond of horror yourself, but you ended up trying to be the brave one after Yeonjun basically clung to you half of the time. It didn't help whenever you freaked out since you ended up losing Yeonjun after he not so subtly abandons you at the slightest suspicious sound. It was a miracle you made it out in one piece.

"Yeah, so, uh, sorry about that." Yeonjun laughs it off the moment you two got out.

"Sure but you should know that I'm never gonna let you live it down." You tell him, smiling widely as you hold up the photos you received from one of the staff. "I got evidence."

Yeonjun snatches the photos from your hands. "Bold of you to assume these'll affect me— oh." It definitely did.

You watch as he slips the photos inside his jacket as if it wasn't obvious enough that he was trying to hide it from you. "Nice try but," You take out another batch of photos and wave it around. "Boom. Two copies."

"Wow, okay."

The two of you ended up laughing at each other before you suggest in trying out the stalls. They say time flies by fast when you're having fun and they couldn't be more right. There had been an unspoken competition between you and Yeonjun of who can win the most prizes and let's just say you weren't about to let yourself lose. By the time you got tired, you had a total of three plushies and a bunch of candy bars stuffed in your pockets and well, Yeonjun had the exact amount of prizes you had.

"Fine. It's a draw for now but only because I'm tired." Yeonjun holds the plushies tighter. "We should really get a bag for this. I wonder if we can get a huge plastic bag somewhere."

"Nah, we can just put em in here." You take off your back pack, opening it wide. "I'm sure it can fit all six of them. They're small enough." You were lucky that they did, finally leaving your hands free.

"Wait." Yeonjun pauses after putting the last of his plushies inside. "How can I be sure you won't just take my plushies for yourself after we leave? I'm pretty easy to distract so—"

"If you forget to get them back then I'll just hand them to you tomorrow at school. You go to HSU too, right?" You tell him.

"Yeah, but how will you contact me?"

"Obviously, we exchange numbers."

Yeonjun blinks. Of course that'd be the simplest solution but still. He'd been talking about staying as friends even after all this but the thought of exchanging numbers hadn't really crossed his mind. He takes out his phone and the two of you quickly added each other as contacts, somehow feeling a bit closer after the exchange.

"While we're at it—" Yeonjun pulls you in closer as he bends down. Only now that you've felt Yeonjun's warmth close to you have you noticed how cold it actually was outside . It takes you a few seconds to register that he wants to take a few selfies.

You bust out a smile and tried to go along with whatever weird faces and poses he did. "Send them to me later." You say after examining the photos. There's one where Yeonjun mimicked a kissing motion near your cheek, making you smile. Who would've expected you two were total strangers up until a few hours ago.

"Got room for one last ride?" Yeonjun asks as you return his phone.

"Yeah, sure. Which one?"

"Don't ask as if you don't know. I'm pretty sure you left this one out on purpose."

Perhaps unconsciously, you did. In every single movie that involved the two characters going to a carnival, for some reason, they always left the Ferris Wheel for last. It's not like you wanted something grand to happen when you ride it, but more like you just wanted to get a good view of the entire carnival before leaving. It seemed like the perfect final attraction.

Yeonjun notices how you've gone quiet and decided to hold your hand, pulling you along. "Let's go before the place closes."

"Okay." You look up at him, nodding.

· · ───────────── ·.☆.· ───────────── · ·

The Ferris Wheel ride wasn't all you had expected it to be. It looked pretty slow in the movies but right now? You were about to puke.

"Yeonjun, wait." You hold on to Yeonjun who was sitting opposite to you.

The Ferris Wheel was going too fast to your liking and you started feeling dizzy. Getting a good view of the carnival seemed impossible at this point and looking at your partner made you even more miserable.

Yeonjun was having the time of his life. He loved the feeling in his stomach whenever the ride went down, and the fact that you were lowkey suffering right in front of him made him laugh even harder.

The speed went on for a few more rounds until it finally slows down. Your heart and probably everything else stilled once the ride came to a complete stop just as your car reached the top. "Thank God. I felt like I was going to die."

"Well, you're safe for now." Yeonjun grins, leaning back in his heat. "You wanted to enjoy the view, right? We'll be stuck here for probably about a minute or two so enjoy it while it lasts."

"Yeah." You smile back, looking outside the window.

The winds were colder up there, reminding you of how warm it felt when you stood close to Yeonjun earlier. Yeonjun catches you warming yourself up with your hands and chuckles. He takes off his jacket and hands it over to you. "Here, put this on."

"Thanks." You quickly put his jacket on. Usually you'd go for the polite route and turn him down but if you were going to continue this friendship business then you weren't about to suffer in the cold when the dude's practically handing you a solution.

Yeonjun gives you a little smile before you continue to admire the view. Down there, the lights almost looked like a sea of stars. The music around the place didn't really help set the mood but somehow, the mixture of it along with the laughter and delightful screams of the other visitors made it feel right. After everything that happened today, you felt like it was the right decision to end the day with this breathtaking sight.

And Yeonjun couldn't agree more. The lights below reflected in your eyes in a way that made the atmosphere lighter. He could tell you were happy and right now, that seemed to be enough for him.

The Ferris Wheel began moving. Yeonjun snickers as he felt you grab for his hand, worried that the ride might throw you off once more, but it didn't. The way down was slow, allowing you to enjoy the ride in peace. Your pendant started to shine, reflecting the lights. It reminded him of everything that happened, from the moment you two met and agreed on a friendship that would last for only a day, up until now where he held your hand on the Ferris Wheel after deciding to be friends for real this time. The pendant became the sole proof of that friendship and Yeonjun couldn't help but wonder if the ones he bought a few years back would truly be of any use in the future. But what would it symbolize for? Who knows, he might just give you the other half.

Your car comes to a stop and the doors open. The realization that the day has officially come to an end left you feeling disappointed. Yeonjun squeezes your hand, bringing your attention to him. He gestures for the two of you to get up and you do, finally stepping back on the ground.

Both you and Yeonjun felt that the way back to the entrance was too fast. It really did seem like the two of you wouldn't see each other again despite the fact you went to the same university. The thought felt silly but that's just how the carnival experience gets to you.

"I guess this is it." Yeonjun speaks up first. "You live pretty far from here, right? I can take you home if you want."

"It's okay. My cousin lives nearby and I texted her earlier that I'd be staying over." You tell him, not wanting him to worry. "How about you? Will you be alright on your own?"

"Yeah, definitely." Yeonjun reassures, holding up his hands. "Oh, and by the way. Is it okay if I leave the plushies on your bag for now? I can't exactly carry them on the way back. If it's ok with you."

"Don't worry. You can just take them back tomorrow." You grin and Yeonjun smiles back. "Also, I'm keeping your jacket for now. I'll return it after I clean it up."

"I can work with that." He shouldn't feel this happy but he did. In a way, he was able to find an excuse to meet up with you tomorrow without things getting awkward. Maybe this friendship could work out afterall.

"Thanks for today. Honestly, this was the most fun I've had ever since I got here." You say, taking one last look at him.

I should be the one to thank you. "You know, I have a lot of things I wanna say to you right now but I think I'm gonna wait until I feel like it."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. I'll text you later." Yeonjun gives you a quick pat on the shoulder before running off to the opposite direction. "See you at school! And don't forget to bring the kids!"

You raise a brow. Did he just refer to the plushies as his kids?

He felt dumb, running away from you. The longer he stayed, the more he had trouble leaving, which was new for him. It's been a while since he actually found someone he'd like to hang out with and he was having trouble controlling his excitement. Soon, you'd be able to visit each other's houses, hang out more freely, talk about your days as if it were nothing, and get to know each other more. Honestly speaking, Yeonjun couldn't wait for that day to come but I guess he'll just have to start with tomorrow.

#txt imagines #txt x reader #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun imagine #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun

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usermoreid · 3 years ago

Note

i don't want to be pain in the ass but why in season 15 they put a storyline of leaving the unit for five diferent characters? Like???? I get it it was the end of series, but they could be more creative with that. ( i know the latest seasons were bad, but it looks like the writers weren't even trying).

I don't want to bring Rossi in here (for obvious reasons) but I need to say that with his characters the leaving story line was good. He was to old to be in the FBI anyway.

But then is Prentiss who could became a FBI director and she blow up her chance by bad desicion. But wasn't Prentiss always saying that she don't like politics and she prefers to be in the field actually saving people? So like she wouldn't want to become one not when she still was good to work in the field. I get that they wanted to make her first female director, but still... It doesn't sound like the same character who thought politics break families and bring misery for people.

I am not big fan of JJ in that seasons and I hate that after she went back in season 7 she was very ambitious and had superiority complecs. So of corse she would take the job to be some kind of a unit chief in New Orlean. She was giving me vibes she wants to show everyone how capable of everything she is. And I hate how there was this narrative that they are family and don't leave others behind, but in the first possible moment she wants to leave the team for a job with more recognision. Poor Will, he once again needs to move out away from his life...

And there's Penelope. While she didn't like all terible things that were happening and looking at crime scene photos, but she loved her job and working with them all. I think for her would be best if she take sabbatical to help non profit organisation not completely leave the team. Not couting Reid she was the one most affected by everyone leaving or almost dying... She wouldn't left them, not it that moment.(If I remember corectly it was kinda out of the blue).

And I think that with Reid the leaving the team storyline would work. Yeah he gained family when he joined the team all those years ago so that was the reason he didn't want to let go, he would be alone if not the team. But like he got only misery for working in the FBI, Hankel, getting shot, prison, Cat etc. And in season 13 he found something that he's passoniate about and that doesn't cost him his mental health. So him leaving would be cool. To finally try to find happiness. But in the finale they made it like stay in BAU or die... So once again misery.

Anyway, I think it's kinda lame they went with the same storyline (diferent reasons but still) for five characters that were the longest in the show... Sorry for dropping once again something so long in the ask. Feel free to not respond. :) I am glad I got it off my chest and sorry for bad english.

Love u <33

oh yeah i totally agree, i kind of really disliked the ending

honestly rossi should've left so long ago. he was literally sixty-seven years old in the last season, there's no way he should've been allowed to stay for that long ((even though i think he ended up staying?? like he changed his mind at the last minute if i remember right, which was so stupid))

i can't lie - i didn't like prentiss as unit chief very much. it might just be because i prefer hotch but either way, i think she was better as a regular agent. i feel like it would've been fun if prentiss stayed at interpol and just helped them every now and then, you know?? then we could've had penelope being excited about england more

i'm honestly not sure how to feel about jj leaving. i think i just kind of disliked everything after she become a profiler instead of the media liason, she just didn't seem right

yeah from what i remember, penelope leaving really was out of the blue. i think it makes sense that she'd want to get away from the horrors of the job and i'm glad she chose something that would make her happy at least but yeah, it kinda was just random

honestly when reid was at therapy talking about how his whole life revolves around his job, i thought that was setting it up for him leaving the team for a permanent teaching position or something. i just want him to be happy:(

i actually really enjoy the long asks, thank you for sending them:) also your english is really good, don't worry about it!! <3<3

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty

Words: 3.1K

Warning(s): Explicit language, substance abuse, verbal abuse

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My dad always used to tell me, "wisdom is being young enough to get away with doing something stupid, but still knowing better."

I never paid any attention to it because I didn't have any stupid decisions lined up at the age of eight. Or thirteen. Or sixteen...I guess because I never experienced the art of bad decision making and their damnable consequences, all of that pent up stupidity broke loose when I was seventeen and didn't slow down until I was in my thirties.

Young enough to get away with doing something stupid…

"What the hell are you thinking, Duff?" His older brother yells.

I'm listening with my ear pressed to the door, waiting in the hallway outside of Duff's apartment...trying not to be too mortifiedly embarrassed.

"Matt, it's—"

"—You're fooling around with a married woman, Duff, I know exactly what it is!" He yells.

"They're getting divorced, Matt, alright? It's not like I'm-I'm just sleeping with her for the hell of it!"

"She's getting out of a six year relationship and getting a divorce at twenty-three, Duff, don't you fucking think the reasonable thing for you to do is back off and let her actually process that before having sex with her?!"

"It's not like I'm taking advantage of her! I'm not! She loves me—"

"—She's lost! She's vulnerable! She's confused! She'd fall in love with any bone head that was a good guy right now!" He shouts at him. "What are you thinking, Duff? I mean, honestly, what the hell are you fucking thinking?"

"I-I don't know!"

"What the fuck happens if the media gets ahold of this? If mom finds out that her son is getting hot n' heavy in cars in dark parking lots with a married girl!"

It's quiet for a second.

"I would explain that they're getting divorced, and—"

"—Bullshit. You know what she'd say? 'Married is married until divorce is finalized'." He states.

"I think mom would be pretty understanding, Matt. I don't think she'd judge me like you are or try to talk me out of it."

"You sound like dad right now, you know that? Just fucking like him." He cuts. "And it's bullshit because I know you aren't anything like dad which is why I'm so stumped right now."

"It's not that big of a deal." Duff argues.

"Has she filed yet?" Matt asks next, not skipping a beat.

"W-What?"

"Has he filed yet? Have they filed yet?"

"I don't know—it's not my fucking business."

"So you're just sleeping with her and you don't even know if they're even splitting up at this point? Of course not because she probably doesn't even know what she wants!"

"She told me she's gonna divorce him." Duff tells him, certainty in his tone.

"Well, actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words, don't they?" Matt fires at him.

...but still knowing better.

The door opens quickly and I pretend I wasn't listening, taking a few steps back as Matt storms out, giving me a second glance before walking down the hallway to the stairs.

I peek into the apartment to see Duff pacing, not paying any attention to me still being out here.

I take a breath before heading after him.

"Matt," I say when I get to the parking lot as he goes to his car, "wait."

"You don't owe me an explanation about it, sweetheart, it's between me and my brother." He tells me calmly, getting into his car.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I ask him, catching my breath, before he can close the door.

He looks at me for a second.

"Do you? Or a wife or a boyfriend or something?"

"I have a girlfriend." He tells me.

"How long have you been with your girlfriend?"

"Like, almost a year, now." He replies, not seeing the point of telling me this.

"I bet you're really good to your girlfriend, Matt." I say, and he slowly catches on, sighing a little.

"I try to be."

"Nikki wasn't good to me. For years. While he was killing himself with drugs, he was killing me with how he treated me and how he acted and when you really love somebody you sit and make excuses for them to make however they're killing you seem justified, and it's not. It never is." I explain, a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. "And you don't realize it until one day you're watching a woman you loved and trusted tell the world she's been having an affair with your husband. And then those rose lenses shatter and it's clear. You've spent years of your life giving everything to someone who would probably trade you for an ounce of smack if he ran out." I sniffle. "I really loved him, and you're right, I do still love him. I do. But I also know I'd rather die than willingly throw myself back into that hell. I haven't filed yet, but I am going to when he gets back from Japan. And I do love Duff, and he's a very, very good man. I don't know the situation with you guys' father and it's not my business, but whoever and whatever your dad is...your brother is the farthest thing from it. And I know you are, too, just from the way Duff's always spoke of you and your siblings. I'm sorry for the trouble, and I know you're just trying to look out for him, but you need to be proud of him. Not for what you saw earlier, but just for the fact he's a really great person in a city filled with selfish pricks. You need to be proud of him, and he needs to hear that you're proud of him."

He lets out another breath, processing what I'm saying, nodding again.

"Have a good night." He mumbles to me, shutting the door, and I let out a breath and head back upstairs, seeing Duff stopped pacing and eventually just plopped onto the couch.

He looks at me when I come back in, his eyes sad, a solemn look on his face.

"I'm sorry if you heard any of that." He says to me and I sit down on the couch beside him.

"It's okay. He's just trying to look out for you, you know?"

"I know but he doesn't even know the half of it." He sighs. "And I'm not acting like my dad because if I were I'd be sleeping with anything in a skirt and leaving my wife to deal with my eight kids.

He tells me lowly, hurt in his voice.

I try to find the humor in it, nudging his side.

"You have a wife and eight kids?" I ask, smiling a little and he looks at me, his lips tugging at the corners.

"No," his lips crack the smallest of smiles for a moment, "but even if I did I wouldn't treat them like shit." He adds.

My hand comes up to discreetly brush against my stomach.

"Your brother just wants the best for you." I tell him.

"Who cares? It's not his or anybody else's business." He replies, leaning back, rubbing his forehead.

"I love you." I offer, hoping the words make him relax a little.

He huffs out a breath, finally looking at me, his hand grabbing mine, pressing it to his lips.

I did love him, just not the way I thought I did. I mean, when I was in love with Nikki, it was evident to everybody. I looked at him like I worshipped the ground he walked on—because I nearly did. With Duff, people had to ask me whether I really loved him or not. I always thought it was because we were moving so fast that it seemed abnormal, but in photos when Duff and I were together it was obvious he and I had no fucking clue what we were doing. We were happy with each other, and loved each other, but it was like we both subconsciously knew we weren't going to workout. At least we eventually accepted it.

I could've divorced Nikki, eventually married Duff, anyway, and made the same bizarre decision that Tansy and Axl made to divorce twice before finally getting married a third time, years later, when their shit was together—because even if Duff and I did get married, we wouldn't have made it through the early 90s.

A couple mornings later, I'm going back to my house since the coast is clear from Nikki since he left for Japan.

Checking the mail, I furrow my brows as I'm sorting through the bills, randomly seeing an envelope with my name on it.

I take the mail inside and open my letter.

"What the hell?" I mumble, looking at a couple hundred dollar bills.

Then it hits me.

"Hello?" Karen's voice on the other end of the phone, chipper as ever.

"Why the hell am I getting sketchy money from Elektra?" I ask.

"It's from 'Wild Side', Viv." She explains. "Because Nikki credited you as one of the writers, remember? They couldn't write you a check because it's under the table." She adds.

"Under the table?"

"To avoid—"

"—Well, I don't want it." I state.

"Viv, you're getting a divorce. I'd keep every dime I could, honestly." She advises.

"Karen, that's no…" I trail off, my mind running a mile a minute, piecing it together. "What time is it in Japan?"

"Uhm, like, 2:00a.m. maybe?"

"Where are they staying?"

"Vivian—"

"—I need to talk to Doc. Where are they staying?"

I didn't want to talk to Doc. Don't ask me how I managed to harass my estranged husband from 16 time zones away, but, I did.

"You knew you were gonna divorce me, you piece of shit, that's why you credited me so I'd get money to cover divorce court!" I accuse viciously.

"I don't fuckin' know what you've been smoking, Vivian, but you sound insane right now!" He fires back.

"What I've been smoking? What the fuck have you been smoking, Nikki?! Huh?!"

"Have you been sleeping, Vivian?! You're being fucking psychotic!"

"I'll get on a flight and show you fucking psychotic, asshole, you set me up and then left the fucking country!"

"I credited you as a joke—I didn't think they'd actually take it serious and send you part of the royalties!"

"Bullshit! You and Vanity planned for her to tell everybody about your bullshit with each other, knowing I'd leave you and file for divorce so you could be together!"

"If I was that fucking mean, Vivian, I wouldn't have credited you so you wouldn't have gotten paid shit, you crazy bitch!" He insists. "And take your goddamn medication!"

He hangs up and I roll my jaw before throwing the phone.

I could've killed him had I felt like flying to Japan.

"Then he tells me I'm being psychotic!" I vent to Izzy over the sound of the vacuum.

"Well, were you?!" He asks me and I cut the vacuum off.

"No, I wasn't. I just called him out on his bullshit because he loves to think I'm stupid."

"What exactly did you say to him?"

"That he credited me so I'd get money, that I'd probably put toward paying for a divorce."

"That's not too bad." He furrows his brows a little.

"Exactly. Not to mention the fact I know he's still seeing Vanity and the whole plan was to tell the world they were engaged, knowing I'd leave him, so they could finally publicly be together."

He looks at me funny, before asking, "d-did you tell him that?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, you lost me, Viv."

"What?"

"That's complete bullshit." He states.

"How?"

"How? Viv, the man is on a horse-sized dose of heroin on a daily basis—and the crack he would smoke with Vanity—do you think either of them had the energy or mental compacity to conduct a plan like that?"

"They had the energy to fuck each other, so, my perception of how much they were able to do under the influence has no limits at this point." I argue.

"I think pregnancy has you cuckoo for cocoa puffs." He mumbles.

"Izzy, I'm being serious." I hiss.

"I am, too, Viv." He tells me. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a complete asshole, but I just don't see Nikki high as a fucking kite coming up with this elaborate plan to leave you so he can be with his side piece while simultaneously deciding he wants you to be financially stable enough to withstand a divorce. He's a mean fucker. If he wanted to leave you, he would tell you to fuck off and file the same day without giving a flat fuck if you could afford it or not." He says. "And he's not seeing Vanity. There's no way she'd keep her mouth shut if they were still together."

"She managed to keep her mouth shut about it for over a year." I grumble.

"Yeah, because she was probably hoping he'd leave you for her."

I stop what I'm doing and look at him.

"Do you think he would've if she didn't tell everybody about it?" I ask next.

"I don't know, Viv." He answers honestly.

"Would you?"

He glances at me, serious for a moment, before the hint of a smile tugs at his lips.

"Never in a million years." He says and I smile a little. "Would you leave me for Duff?"

I pretend to think for a second.

"Depends on who's better in bed." I reply with the response I expected from him and he just blinks at me.

"Fuck you." He says and I laugh, eventually getting quiet, really thinking about what I said the last time we spoke.

"I'm not gonna do that to Duff." I say to him and he just looks off for a second.

"What made you change your mind?"

"He really loves me, Izzy."

"Yeah, he does." He shifts on his feet.

"Do you think...like, if him and me stay together…" I don't have to finish it, he already knows where I'm going.

"I think it'll be great for the first several months because it always is." Izzy replies. "But once the new wears off and things get more clear…"

"...Yeah."

NIKKI

"Jesus fucking Christ."

I beat the phone against the wall so the crazy bitch can't call here again.

"Two o'clock in the morning and she's making a long distance call just to gnaw my balls over something I didn't even fucking do? And bringing Vanity back up? What the fuck's her problem?

So, she got money for her credit, oh well. Plenty of people wouldn't necessarily mind seeing a couple hundred dollars for them in their mailbox but of course her ungrateful ass can't even be thankful for it." I hiss to myself pacing my room. "Cunt." I add, grabbing my bottle of wine from the TV stand, taking a big swig of it.

"Fuck her." I state next. "Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her...fuck," I take my wedding band off and throw it at hard at I can at the mirror in the corner of the room, on the wall, "her!" I yell when it makes impact, taking a step back, and another, falling flat on my ass.

I don't have the energy to get up, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling.

Just like my dad.

Just like my mom.

She just fucking left me...and I made her.

"Fuck her." I refuse to admit aloud it's my fault because it's not.

Sure, I fucked Vanity, I cheated on her first, but that doesn't give her the excuse to do the same to me.

"Fuck her." I repeat again.

I kept trying to convince myself I hated her. The truth was I hated myself, and was just trying to get that frustration out by turning on her.

It was easy to do when I imagined her under Duff while I was across the world, suffering, telling myself repeatedly she didn't give a shit about me.

She was probably thinking of me under a random groupie the entire time I was gone, and I don't blame her. I stayed under random groupies any other time, so why would Japan be any different? Especially after she and I were separated and had no obligations to each other.

I didn't have sex in Japan, honestly. I couldn't. I was too fucked up. I would try to, but it just wouldn't go over too well. My body was give out from abuse, my hands were scabbed from picking, my skin ate up with track marks, my face was sallow.

Fans would tell me they were worried I had the flu and I'd laugh it off and promise I was okay, then go to my room and stay locked in there until I absolutely had to leave.

I was on smack, constantly, to the point I wasn't even high but just shooting smack as maintenance, which served as a good excuse when a big magazine reporter came to Japan to talk to me and the guys about the tour and when the topic of Vanity came up…

I try to keep from rolling my jaw as the loser starts his question cautiously, testing the waters to see if I'm going to cut him off and tell him to ask another question or fuck off, or if I'm okay with it.

I remember Vivian's bullshit idea about me and Vanity wanting her to find out about the affair so she'd leave and we could be together.

Why the fuck would I go through that much shit just to be with someone like Vanity?

Leaving Vivian to be with Vanity is like leaving the frying pan to hop into the fire dick-first.

With this in mind as, "so, who is she to you?" finally leaves his mouth in reference to Vanity, pen in hand, ready to jot my answer and spread it around America the second it leave my lips, I pretend to think for a moment, and finally reply, "she was my fiancée."

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #gateway drug

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neo-culture-mafia · 4 years ago

Text

IV. Sorry, My Dear

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️

The following story contains themes of suicidal thoughts and addiction. Please do not read if you find these themes triggering in any way. Read this post before reading this piece of FICTION

Have you heard the story of the guy,

Who decided not to die?

"Another day at the office...another day in hell." Jae mumbled to himself. The black lettering seemed never ending as he moved page after page.

Everyone was long gone and he was left with his thoughts that reflected the current state of his desk: scattered and full on unwanted words.

"Come on, Jae. Let's go get drinks with Boss." Jae had mimicked the voices of the other associates that worked in the office today. "No. I'm good. Got to finish this work. Beep-boop-boop." He moved his arms in a robot-like fashion.

"Look at me. Working me life away. Jaehyun. That's my name." He moved the papers in random places. This would be Jae's 4th breakdown this week where he needed to tell himself to hold on until tomorrow.

Johnnny looked on in concern from behind the entrance wall. "No good, Jaehyun. Don't wear it out." Jae's hands waves over his head in a dramatic fashion as he pushed himself around in his wheeled office chair.

It wasn't until Johnny saw Jae's hands form into a gun shape that he intervened in the middle of his best friend's scary emotional outburst.

"Jae! There you are!" He rushed over and punched his friend's arm. The look in Jaehyun's eyes made Johnny uneasy. It looked like he had been caught which made him break more. "You almost finished? I wanted to catch a movie with you and maybe have a hangout night," Jae was taken aback by the energy outburst at 2 am.

He could only look at Johnny's excited face from where he sat in his chair, strands of hair obstructing only pieces of his vision. "I got the new Call of Duty and PubG for the console." Johnny's hands rummaged in his pockets till he pulled out his phone, his eyebrows wiggling fiercely. "It's only...2:17. We got all the time in the world."

Johnny picked up Jae's suit jacket that was thrown over the cubicle wall and the younger boy's heavy bag. "I'll drive." Johnny pulled Jae up and turned off his lamp.

They were in the darkness of the office and Jae was still shocked that he was caught before he got worse.

"What do you wanna eat? Steak? McDonald's? Junk food?" Johnny's rambling was tuned out of Jae's mind. He followed the taller man willingly down and out of the office building and to his familiar car.

"Uh...doesn't matter." Was the first thing that came out of Jaehyun's mouth. "Then we'll get everything." Johnny's laugh made Jae's heart swell with hope for the first time in weeks.

'Maybe next time,' he thought, 'I'll hang out with Johnny one last time.'

The car ride was filled with laughter and being in the cold air surrounding the both of them.

Johnny still wonders to this day what would've happened if he didn't walk in the time he did. He had been called to pick up the paperwork from Jae's desk but was met with a sad reality.

Jaehyun wanted to escape reality.

Just kill me in my sleep,

Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen

This was it...this was the day. He's written the letters and found a place to go calmly. He was in a euphoric sense that nothing really mattered anymore.

He had been on cloud 9 all week as he's happily been overworked and no one ever asked how he had been doing.

Right now, he was just driving. Driving to take in his home city one last time.

The sun was setting when he came to Han River Park. The clusters of happy people congregated in small bursts of happiness and 'its okay' and 'everything will be alright's.

He parked and stood at the grass's edge. He took deep breaths as the air swept across his body calmly. "Everything is so beautiful." He whispered to himself as he watched the birds dance across the water with such grace.

The lump in his throat that made it home was beginning to ache. Yet, he swallowed his pride and continued looking over the people who would continue their own story's even after his had reached the end. The credits would roll and everyone would walk away from the theater without a second thought.

"I mean. I get that's it's pretty. But I haven't seen someone cry at the scenery since my last romance movie." He was snapped out of reality to see a girl standing next to him.

"Excuse me?" Was all he could manage to get out.

You chuckled, sticking your hand out. "Y/n." You introduced yourself and he was trying to not shake your hand, look the other way, and leave without another word being exchanged.

"Jaehyun." His actions spoke for him as he reached his hand out to meet yours. Your hand was soft and warm in his. A warmness and calm he hasn't felt in a while.

"I'm gonna go get some ice cream. Wanna come?" You barely knew him and we're asking him to accompany you to a sweet treat. "You don't know me." Jae got defensive, his arms crossing over his chest.

"I could be a murderer and you invited me for ice cream?" His questions had your face turn up. "Well I'm sure that murderers like ice cream too. So let's go." You grabbed his arm and pulled him down the long stretch of concrete. You walked and tried to match your steps with his long strides. Your arm cutely wrapped around his as you walked.

"So tell me about yourself, Mr. Jaehyun."

He figured living was just easier than falling really high

"We need to clean." You whined while rolling around in the vast bed full of messed up sheets and a relaxing Jaehyun. "Not now. I just wanna cuddle." He grabbed your body and held you close.

"No. We've been cuddling all day. We need to clean." You got up and pulling at his hands. "You can clean the closet and I can clean the rest of the room. Then cuddles." You reasoned and he groaned as he got up, giving into your wishes.

"Fine." He automatically sat on the ground and opened your shared closet doors.

"I'll be tidying up around here." You ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head sweetly. "If you need anything just shout." He called as you exited the room to probably start on the kitchen.

Box after box of paperwork and more paperwork from the last 10 years of working in his like of work.

Your singing could be heard through your house as you comedically sang some of the greatest hits. His laughter broke through the apartment when your own voice shook with laughs.

He came upon some photo books with Polaroids of you and him. The last 2 years had been lived in a heaven like state. He hadn't touched alcohol and drugs like he was earlier in his life...before you changed him.

His physical and mental growth were apparent in the pictures as he flipped through the pages. Your hand drawn hearts and small journal entries under some photos had his heart beating rapidly with joy.

He put the book next to his side to look at later with you. His hand came across an unmarked cardboard photo box that had a thin layer of dust on it.

He jiggled the lid off and was met with envelopes. The letters. His notes to his bosses and his friends apologizing for what he was about to do.

Apologizing for the mess they were going to have to clean up in his apartment and in the office where his files would never be filed. Apologizing for giving up so easily and not serving out the rest of his life like he had sworn. Apologizing for not being strong enough to ask for help when he really tried to make it obvious. Apologizing to whoever had to find him after it was all said and done.

Apologizing for not saying goodbye.

"Hey. Do we have any tile cle- oooo letters. Who are they to?" Your voice had made Jae jump like when Johnny caught him that dark night in the office. Like he was caught doing and thinking stuff he shouldn't be.

"No one. Me. In 50 years. Y'know," he shrugged, tossing them back in the box and throwing them in the closet and standing up quickly, "time capsule thing me and the guys did." He shrugged it off and you could only nod.

"Well that's cool. Can't wait to see how you've grown." Your smile had his own lips mimicking in want. Wanting to have your blissful ignorance of what those letters really were.

"Oh yeah. Do we have any more tile cleaner?" You asked and he lead you out to the closet where he scowered the top shelves in search for the cleaning supply.

"You can have it. For a kiss." He held it above his head. You waste no time in kissing his cheek and pulling on his arm till you grabbed the cleaner and ran. His laughs chased your own as you both wrestled for a while.

Both of you laid on the living room carpet, just enjoying the close presence.

His heart was at peace.

I'm okay,

I feel a little bit sick

You had began to notice how Jae had been getting more dull. A year had passed since the night you pointed out the letters. It began to go all down hill from there.

He gave you the same love and affection he usually did, but his eyes held no emotion to big events outside. Alcohol had started to replace meals and sleep.

"Jae you need to eat." You laid a hand on his shoulder softly. "I'm actually going to go grab a drink with some of the boys." And like that. He was out of the apartment. Yet, everytime he came stumbling in the front door with a stench that could repel nuclear waste, you nurses him into bed. Setting an aspirin and water next to his head. Most nights didn't wrap up until 4 am when you knew he was home safe.

You slept with your arms wrapped strongly around his body, afraid he would try to get up and leave to drink again without you noticing.

Mornings would be a rough time as you awoke to a sick Jaehyun who couldn't tell left from right. You were there were comforting words and endless services if bet only asked.

His guilt ate at his chest till there was a free falling feeling that would cease when he took his first shot.

He knew he was getting bad again. He knew he needed to get help but everytime he woke up to face an aspirin and a cool glass of water, the guilt made him drink even more the next night.

He sometimes wished you would leave him to make this easier on you. He wished you would fall out of love and go to bed before he got home.

He wished you didn't introduce yourself in the first place.

But have you heard,

The story of the guy who decided not to die?

Jaehyun got clean again. He started being more present in reality and eventually returned to normal. Sometimes he did get carried away with the alcohol but you were there to help him put down the bottle.

He started openly hanging out with his friends in large gatherings where he didn't mind starting the conversation. He got addicted on life again.

You were all out on a big dinner. You and the other women of the mafia men gathered in the social room while Jae and his closest friends talked and joked around in the parlor.

"Want another drink?" Mark asked as he nudged Jae's elbow. "No I'm okay. I hit my limit for the night."

His friends were the most supportive people that he originally thought wouldn't be. Once be reached his limit, they all switched to fruity drinks followed by water. "So I need your guys' help with something." Jae smiled, taking the blue chalk and rubbing it on the worn end of the billiard's stick.

"What's up, dude?" Johnny asked and all the boys tuned into Jaehyun and his request. "I want to propose to y/n." He said and the room automatically erupted in shouts and cheers. "Sssshhhh." He tried to shush everyone. They remembered the presence of the women in the building and quickly shut up.

"Y/n said she wanted a wedding in the flower fields about.." Jae recalled the previous conversation he had with you. "2 hours from here?" He said and Hyuck automatically knew which ones he was talking about. "It's going to have to be a spring wedding!" He said excitedly and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen from his pocket.

"Alright, lover boy, spill." He said knocking all of the pool balls out of the way, "hey we were playing!" Doyoung protested and Hyuck could only write down the location of the fields, "I'm helping our brother get a wife. Go play with your balls somewhere else." He back handed which caused the room to erupt in laughter.

"Okay. Now. I'm going to need time to get the catering. I'm thinking pork," Hyuck rambled writing down the possible ideas, "or is she more of a chicken person?" he continued which caused some of the boys to chuckle at the wedding-excited nature no one knew Hyuck possessed in himself.

"Also I need to find a cake. I would make it myself but we all know that these beautiful hands would be wrinkly by the time I'm done icing cake for 500 people-" "500?!" Jae said loudly which caused Johnny to slap a hand over his younger friends mouth. "Well duh. That's a minimum." Donghyuck shook his head, drawing a picture of what the cake needed to look like. "amateur."

"I need to get the ring first." Jae said quietly and Taeyong piped in. "Don't even worry about it. I'll take you in the morning to the jewler's to pick out the bands and diamonds. Maybe you could get an engagement ring with her birth stone then the real ring with yours and your wedding band could have hers." Taeyong started rambling ideas, Hyuck writing lightning speed on the pad of paper.

"I call doing the gifts!" Mark and Jungwoo said at the same time. "I'm nominating myself as the planner." Hyuck said writing the roles down. "I'll get the tuxes for us." Taeil nominated himself for the job with a smile. "We need to get Yuta and the rest of the boys up here!" Doyoung brought up a good point.

"Yuta will just bring baby supplies. We're not telling him until a day before the ceremony." Hyuck pointed at the boys but was met with a hit upside the head from Johnny.

"I have to find out the color palette. I'll go to Renjun and then I'll go to Jaemin for the fireworks- Jisung will be the flower girl." Donghyuck kept rattling off things he needed to get done.

"Thank you for giving me this job. I won't let you down." He finally said, laying a hand on Jaehyun's shoulder.

"Better not. It need to be perfect for her. Perfection deserves perfection." Jae said and some gagged while other coo'd at his unwithering love you for you.

The chatty hustle didn't cease as Johnny patted on Jaehyun's shoulder. "You okay?" Johnny asked with a smile on his face. Jaehyun couldn't keep the smile off of his own face. "Never better. On cloud 9." He said and Johnny's heart eased from the constant fear of Jae not being here the next day. But he didn't need to worry anymore.

"I actually need to ask you." Jae said finally putting the polished stick down on the table. "Will you be my best man?" Johnny's eyes lit up like fireworks as he brought Jae in for a manly yet friendly hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Jaehyun."

I'm enamored with the thought of seeing angels in the sky singing,

Singing, "Everything's alright."

Jaehyun proposed the next week. You both went out to an amazing and fancy moonlit dinner where you both danced and decided to start this new journey together.

Then two days after the proposal, he relapsed the worst he has ever had. Johnny found him in your guys' apartment and immediately called you and everyone who he thought he could help.

It's now present day and you can only look at Jaehyun with guilt in your eyes.

The funeral was held in the flower fields you both planned to get married in. The day was cold and dark but he had never looked so happy in his final resting place. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the happiness you craved." You kissed his cheek before the lid was finally closed.

Now the marble had been set in place and you were alone again.

"I'm not mad. I'm jus-just so...so sorry." You wept, reaching out for him.

"I read the letter and can only ask. Why?"

The only things he had left was a damn note with the words, 'Sorry, My Dear' signing off the page as if he deemed it enough. As if his love had a capacity limit.

"I'm sorry you-you thought I was going to leave you if you told me you were so un-unhappy with life." Your stuttering didn't come to a stop as you could only imagine tears streaming down his own cheeks wherever he was in the universe. The feeling of being ashamed sent you reeling down where you had to support yourself on your knees.

The silent sobs hurt your chest as you had this free falling feeling in your chest getting more deeper. It was as if someone was pounding your chest with a drum mallot. Your heart was breaking as you felt a hand on your shoulder. Yet, you knew no one was there.

"You promised me forever." Your voice was shaky as you brushed the stray pieces of grass away from the marble in the ground.

'Jaehyun. Found happiness in where ours couldn't reach.'

"And I promise, Jae. I will love you...forever."

"And I'm so proud of you for making it this far." You whispered, fingers tracing his name on the polished marble for what felt like the millionth time.

You laid on the ground next to his resting place and looked into the vast blue sky where you imagined him reaching down to you; his soft voice that he used to sing you to sleep with carrying you with him to where you both could live happily ever after. You lifted your hands up as the tears came down.

"You did well."

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hazbbyhaz · 4 years ago

Text

sleepless || harry styles

eight

pairing: Harry Styles x OC

synopsis: a night out on the town

disclaimer: cursing, bars

Forever is composed of nows

Avery watched Harry decline the incoming call without a second thought. “We should get going.” He said, already making his way to the door. She quickly grabbed her keys and her coat before following him out of the flat. There was something impatient and troublesome about his presence as he waited for her to lock her front door.

“How are we getting there?”

“We drive.” He must be a damn good photographer if he could afford a car. As if he could read her mind, he soon spoke, “The car’s not mine, It's my uncles.”

The vehicle was small but cute. It seemed to fit him well. During the drive to the club, Harry was rather quiet and closed off. Later saying that his friends were already there, quickly assuming she still remembered them from his birthday

“So, you're a photographer, right? What do you photograph?”

“I like black and white photographs,” He said. He stopped to think about what he was going to say next before he continued. “When I got into photography I used to just take pictures of my friends without them noticing. Then I moved on to public transport, parties, concerts. All those places where you can catch a glimpse of people's souls. I quickly threw out all of my colored films and switched to black and white. There's something so much more vulnerable and secretive about it…”

“I like that.” She imagines Harry with a camera in his hand, spending his days in London looking for the mystery in every person who passed him.

He gave her a small smile, which did not reach all the way up to his eyes. “Me too. However, I can't make my money with that. It's not good enough to stand on its own, so I work for a modeling agency as a photographer. It's not bad, they pay good enough but it also shows me just how much I hate staged photographs. What about you then? What's your passion?”

She shrugged, moving her gaze to the front. “Writing, I guess.” The truth was, she had no idea. In her opinion, it was too hard for her to organize all of her thoughts inside of her head, let alone sit down to put them to paper. She wanted to be a writer. She did. It was one of the only things she really wanted, but she knew she didn't have the talent or skill set for it.

“So you want to be a journalist? Or a writer?” Harry asked. She struggled with finding an answer since nobody had ever shown that much real, genuine interest in her.

“Just a writer, I think… but journalism sounds nice too.” In reality, she'd like to tell him that she didn't know what to do. Tell him that she was lost. Completely and utterly lost. In her childhood, she was never given the chance to find her talents or develop specific abilities. She had never shown her work to anyone, only submitting a handful of short stories to magazines just to receive no reply in return.

“Can you tell me more about your photographs?’’

He grinned and told Avery more. He spoke with so much emotion that Avery found herself wondering if she had sounded the same when she talked about writing. Most likely not. I felt like he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew how to capture an image and turn it into the most wonderful masterpiece.

Soon after, the club came in sight. Harry parked the car at the side of the road, and as they were getting out, a sudden wave of exhaustion overcame her. Just thinking about meeting his friends, for real this time, made her mind so tired, “You ready?”

“Sure.”

Avery had never been much of a club person, always liking the warmer feeling a pub provided. She didn't like the loud music, the overwhelming smell of pure sweat, and just the overall pace of it all. She felt like everything went so much faster. Harry helped her take off her coat as they got inside. Despite her objections, he paid for both entries, emitting a small chuckle when she tried to argue with him.

The entire place was filled with people and the music was being managed by a DJ in the back of the room. Different colored lights flashed and moved through the crowd. Harry soon took her hand into his own, leading her through the crowd, and down a small flight of stairs to a much quieter area.

The brunette girl was the first person Avery spotted. “Emily, How are you? Why are you down here?” Harry greeted her with a hug, letting go of Avery's hand in the process. “Not bad, the DJ is kinda wack.”

“Well, look who's talking. The girl who said we HAD to come here.” A guy standing close by said, mimicking Emily.

“Shut up, George.” Harry greeted the others. Some of them she recognized from the party and some she didn't.

“This is Avery.” He introduced her and all of his friends' eyes stopped on her for a moment, looking her up and down, making her feel like a rat on a doctor’s table.

“Nice to see you again,” Emily said, the others nodded in her direction, but a second later all of their attention was back on Emily. She let out a dramatic sigh, “So, what are we going to do? Stay here, or go somewhere else?”

“I vote that we stay here.” A rather tall man, Harry had introduced as James, said. The brunette rolled her eyes, all of them making their way to the dance floor nonetheless, George making it his responsibility to get drinks for everybody.

It was hard for Avery to enjoy herself. She felt incredibly awkward while dancing, or trying to anyway. All the others had some type of rhythm in their blood, while she was desperately trying her best. Once “Low” by Flo Rida started to pour out of the speakers, she made a mad dash to the bathroom, staying there until the song was finished. Harry didn't drink, as he had to drive them both back afterward, so Avery did the same. Wanting to avoid all possible realms of embarrassment.

He gave her a small backstory of his mates. James has very rich parents, his dad paying his way through law school just so he can tell his colleagues that his son is a successful lawyer. James has a twin brother named Jasper, he ended up leaving home the first chance he got. George is a failed musician who has the entire second verse of Piano Man tattooed on his ass. Emily is into fashion, but she lost per passion for it after she got rejected from a school in Amsterdam. They all seemed to be on some kind of path. Every one of them working their way to the future, attempting to reach some sort of goal.

And Harry had taken photos of all of it. Documenting their entire lives as these individuals. He had taken photos of James passed out on the floor with numerous textbooks open around him, all just to live up to his father's standards. There were pictures of George playing the piano in many different pubs, several pints sitting atop the instrument while his friends listened to him play a tune. A few were taken of Emily hard at work, sat by her sewing machine, or window shopping at nearby second-hand dress shops. And when Jasper was around, there were a couple of him trying to learn how to juggle, the instructions given to him by a homeless man.

Their lives had been documented in a way so utterly beautiful. Photographs were taken in moments that seemed worth freezing. Moments that a curly-headed boy thought deserved to be remembered forever. Knowing all of this made Avery feel so unexplainably lonely, especially while being in their company.

“Did you have fun?” They had made it back to the car at 2 am. Harry took a quick look back, seeing all of his friends laughing, and stumbling while making their way back home.

“Yes, thank you for inviting me.”

“My pleasure. What are you going to do when you get home?” He backed out and drove onto the main road.

“Probably make a couple of cups of coffee.” She still hadn't made it out to the grocery to pick up more tea.

“You don't sleep often, huh?”

“What makes you think that?” The answer was obvious.

“You look tired a lot. Why don't you sleep?” Avery ignores his assumption. She wasn't offended, it was easy to assume without being incorrect.

“I don't like it,” She shrugged, feeling like a child. “I prefer to stay awake.” Avery could tell that he wanted to ask more questions. She would have been fine with this, but at this point, she was beyond exhausted and couldn't handle giving any more answers. “Can I ask you a question?’’

“Shoot.”

She waited a moment before continuing. Not for dramatic effect, just to figure out how she wanted to go about it. “What do you dream of?”

Harry's eyebrows pulled together, and he looked her way. “Uhm… I guess making a living off my-”

“No,” She quickly stopped him. “I mean… When you fall asleep at night. What do you dream of?”

“Oh… I don't know. I forget most of the time when I wake up, but last week I dreamed I had adopted a puppy and he ran away the second day I had him. I oddly enough didn't mind that he had run away. He ended up coming back on the third day. Quite random, but that was that… Why are you asking me this?”

Avery smiled at the description of his dream. So innocent and childlike. He didn't have to worry about what would appear before him when he fell asleep, and she was glad that he didn't have to. “No reason.”

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