#and i was like 'i just dont want it to be forgotten about because its important' (WHICH IS ALSO FUCKING TRUE !!!)
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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Some fresh air
#hazbin hotel#arackniss#been wanting to draw Niss properly for a while#I’m officially I’m a waiting list to try tackle my arachnophobia because a massive black spider locked me out of my house#and with it being Halloween there is spider decor everywhere and his colour scheme matches the vibes#so it seemed like the perfect time#it was a bit rushed and wonkey but I’m happy with him for now :)#may be afk for a while cause my works really hard at the moment#Also apologies to the people I owe art to I haven’t forgotten honest#i think ive said this before bht i have a headcannin niss and Angel smoke the same brank cigarette's#so its just important to me to include smoking when i draw him atm#at least until he's in the show cause we technically dont know shit about him
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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maybe this vacation was a good idea
#cw abuse#cw child abuse#the more i think on it the more i start to remember#i cant believe id forgotten about this part of my life. its really starting to come back to me#i dont remember the finer details but i am remembering that asshole kid and that he didnt treat me very well#he was very frustrating to be around and i really didnt like him#posting this here because god knows i dont have the energy to send it to each individual server that i want people to see#and im alright with having this be public knowledge. even with the risks that come with it#all i ask is that if you want to ask me anything about this or if you want to know anything at all#please#please please please please PLEASE for the love of god be gentle with me#i literally just found out about this like an hour ago so the shock is still very much fresh#if youre a friend of mine im more likely to trust you but if youre on anon consider your words VERY carefully. very carefully#im thick-skinned when it comes to stuff like this but even now im still a little bit rattled#i think thats all i have to say on this. i love you guys <3 please take care of yourselves
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Hey. Idk if this is me growing up or just being disillusioned with inter celebs etc. Im a 23 yr old trans man so I grew up and was inspired by chella on the YouTube community. But now I just…don’t like chella man anymore. I feel like…he became an industry plant? Over the pandemic asking fans for money to send to him directly to help others and not showing where the money was going exactly incident as well as just becoming older I noticed he seemed to almost want to become the next Keith haring or basquiat? He almost…now seems very fake? He takes deals with brands to be representation but doesn’t do much to call out certain brands for their faults etc.
Idk anymore
I give Chella credit in that he was one of the few transmen that I looked up while I was young, especially with him being BIPOC. Showing him to my family helped them understand me. But that's where the inspiration kinda stops, because it was painful to be surrounded by years-in-transition trans men online when I was absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. That was a me problem tho. But I also didn't know much about his whole donation incident.
Ig heres what I have to say. It's not great to view other people as your justification of your morals. We don't know how people have had to live or how they live now, we don't know what decisions they have to make, and we dont know what kind of fears or goals they have. Chella is allowed to do whatever he wants with his art or his modelling career, just like how I genuinely believe anyone else in the world is capable of making the right decisions for themselves (even if we dont like those decisions!). Im not really concerned with figuring out if hes an industry plant or a "class traitor" (lol) or even if he's "fake". To be honest, I'm all for BIPOC folks getting their $. Does that mean I enjoy seeing wealthy BIPOC folk perpetuate classism and racism? No. Just cuz someone is succeeding for themselves doesn't mean people cant critique them. I guess what Im saying is I see waaay too many people online take the things they enjoy and the people they follow as projections of their morals: "no! stop [Insert celebrity name] you're being problematic and its makes us fans look bad!" Like....Okay lmfao. People are grown adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. Just because you might enjoy a celebrity does not mean your morals are based on how good of a person they are.
and youre allowed to not like the same things anymore just like how people are allowed to change, for better or for worse. I think within online communities there is way too much pressure on "looking" like a good person versus actually being one...because sometimes BEING a good person makes you look absolutely vile in terms of online spaces/communities love of isolating, removing, and deleting "problematic" (and vulnerable) people from their spaces with no trial, discussion, or attempt at conflict mediation. Yea yea I do think people have every right to be criticized just as they have every right to make whatever decision they want, but what Im trying to get at is to really stop viewing anyone with a platform as someone you can other once they dont meet your standards. This is not the same as denouncing or critiquing someone for really egregious behavior (white supremacy, harrassment, bullying, interpersonal violence). Once you kinda start living by your own morals without needing other people's actions/behaviors to justify/define them, you learn to focus on building connections rather than destroying them.
again, this is a much nuanced topic and you prolly werent expecting me to go into this. but ive grown over the years and have engaged in some nasty and vile mob mentality behavior that i just dont vibe with anymore. im not really the kind of person now to speculate online or publicly what other people are doing or should be doing or whether theyre problematic or not. I don't really care about Chella man or most celebrities rn. People r just gonna be people, and I will always have empathy for those of marginalized identities. Free will, autonomy, and self determination goes both ways, but so does accountability, transformative justice, and reconciliation.
but also like kill ur idols lol
#muertoresponds#like yea its fun having people u follow and look up to man#does it take a lot of time to be following celebrities#there would be days i would just check up on all my micro celebrities#now i just dont give a fuck#theyre people im people we're people#we're all gonna change and do bad and do good#i dont like holding myself or anyone anymore to these fucked up online standards of looking like good people#idc idc idc#this was def not the answer u prolly wanted but its where im at and thats what i gotta say#have ur micro celebrities if u want but like yea#people r people#and so are u#critiques r valid but u cant hold anyone accountable unless they consent to be held accountable#like being held accountable means u choose to be part of the accountability process#not make a lil 5 min notes app apology and be forgotten about in a week because people find their next target#yadda yadda yadda#these r my thoughts
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sometimes i feel like rn it's really understated just how bad things could be if trump wins. like, actually. i feel like it's being forgotten that despite how bad things are right now, they would surely get WORSE.
#i dont want biden to win either#but is there really a big enough politician on the democratic party who the (still conservative) american population would vote for#HILLARY didnt even win and she's a generally non-offensive white woman#i know its like voting for 2 evils. but lest we forget there is definitely a MORE evil one here#and i think its the one who unabashedly tried to flush stolen documents in his toilet#i think its the one who wants to build the iron dome#i really wish i could say not to vote for biden. because trust i know very well all the shitty things hes done and stands for#(him clearly explaining ukraine & russia but dodging any questions about israel & palestine is enough proof of this)#but things around the world are going to get much much worse if trump wins#'cause hes just going to do whatever the republican party tells him to#downright evil those people could be at times#im still trying to gather my thoughts around this#as an outsider i cant help but be worried#because rn the us is a big factor towards the west philippine sea tensions#and honestly if we lose toast. like we're actually going to get colonized for the 4TH time#so im scared of what'll happen if trump were to ever take office again#00#sorry for the long tags btw#i fully understand that biden is a horrible person. i was pulling my hair out with all of you#but there are nuisances here that i feel shouldnt be forgotten#trump unfortunately really came out with a stronger swing after that debate#so i feel like everyone's sort of forgetting that no matter how horrible everything is right now#his only promise is to make things worse#and not voting only adds to his perogative
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Summer camps and similar very intense for 2 weeks and then suddenly finished activities are so tragic because you'll form one of the deepest connections of your life and then you never see those people again
#like sometimes you get lucky and manage to keep in touch with a few of those people#sometimes you get VERY lucky especially when its something you do every year and you manage to keep most of the group#but generally its just you spend a week or two 100% of the time with the same people#you feel like its impossible you just met them a week ago#you promise you will keep in touch!! we have to keep meeting#and you do a couple times you manage to get 4-5 people together#but it will never be the same theres so many people missing#then slowly this stops#the groupchat hasnt been active for a while so i ended up not doing anything for my birthday.#well now its exam season so we will do something after that! sure!! ........silence#seeing groupchats where the last thing we talked about was this theoretical meeting is heartbreaking#and slowly the groupchat goes lower and lower on the list and you dont want to be weird and say smth#and slowly when you no longer see it because its so far down you stop thinking about it so often#and then those friends who meant the world to you for a couple weeks are just a distant memory#you dont think about them that much sometimes someone will go on one and you'll be like oh i used to love those!!#and you'll think about your friends who you don't even know if youll recognise if you met them in the street#and think we should really meet again and dont even pretend like you're going to text them#because no one has said anything in that groupchat for years and you dont even know if some of them have forgotten you#sorry im just getting emotional lol#anyways candela see u tomorrooow this wont happen to at least uus💛💛💛💛💛💛#mine
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#ramblings#honestly ive had a really terrible holiday#like summer break is supposed to be good but seeing family wasnt fun like it usually is#the cousin i usually hung out with is an asshole now who didnt even want to talk#so the fun part wasnt fun#i havent seen any of my friends all holidays . i feel like shit and i feel fucking lonely#the only people ive interacted with really are my family and thats horrible because my sister acts like a stereotypical mean girl#ive got no fucking will to leave my room or to fucking eat properly or do just about anything other than sit in my room#and now im about to go back to school . ive accomplished not even close to enough of what ive needed to#ive forgotten everything from math . my tech is probably behind . english should be finished but its not#chemistry is completley half assed#and i know i should be getting up and fixing tht but i cant i fuckign cant do anything#its probably all my fault i have to stop staying up so late im so fucking tired#i dont want to go back to school i dont feel like ive had a break even though ive done nothing all holiday#im so fucking done with this shit#vent#ask to tag#i guess
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day 3: unnecessarily complex fit
ii gotta be honest, they were originally gonna have two feet but then i couldn't figure out the perspective of their right one so i decided to just not draw it
#im aware that its the 13th but i wanted to draw this prompt.. and im like real happy with how this turned out..#could not make myself do shadows because what the fuck are light sources even..#and and i made a silly brush specifically just to use for the texture in this because i thought it would be funny..#yeah and um dont ask the logic behind the color scheme.. i honestly dont think about that shit ever#i just pick colors and go with the flow. you will NOT catch me practicing color theory..#and um yeah..#oh once again i made the smallest things too detailed. so they stand out much more than they're supposed to..#the nose piercing i was able to dial back. but the choker just is like that. and it stands out way too much..#also really appriciate that the shorts look alright because i had no fucking clue what was going on there..#i put off figuring them out for so long that they only made sense once i put the texture on them. which was like one of the last things..#art#my art#cringetober 2023#um#digital art#oh and the background was a total accident.. i had filled the characters surroundings with white to make sure none of my notes and shit wer#visible. and id forgotten about it.. so then when i changed the background color. it basically looked like that already.#i just tweaked it a bit..#tbh im quite glad it happened so because ii struggle with balancing the background between too distracting and a void..#the colors are so fucked for everyone else probably because ive fucked with my monitors gamma levels a lot#basically overall saturation is supposed to be higher. and mainly the dark green is supposed to be a bit more blue-ish..
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years ago got this super cute lilac long skirt that ive never worn since getting it but would really like to if only it werent for the fact id hate to be perceived anything remotely close to femininely. and Especially by my extended family who i just know for a fact are waiting for me to grow out of my "phase" and be able to say "see that? you're acting like a normal girl now"

#i think ive already gotten to a good point in presenting androgynously (and i like it!! its all ive wanted to look like as a kid)#i dont want to be seen as a girl but in the case i do wanna dress more femininely i want it to be on my own terms and have it be a consciou#choice and not just. because thats supposed to be ''normal'' for me#man#its not like my parents care too much anymore at least once ive gotten past middle school but i havent forgotten that time they made me#change out of my more formal shirt and pants that i was so stoked to wear and into a dress i really. really didnt like for my sister's#friend's quinceañera. im not even close to her either she wouldnt have cared if id shown up like that#it was a nice party but god i never want to feel the way i did in that dress again#and here in this country??? god forbid someones visibly queer or somewhat gnc in public the amount of times ppl i walked by tried to ask#That Question of whats in my pants. ugh#duck rants about something
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i will write about my ocs. i will talk about my ocs. i will write with my ocs in google docs even if they go nowhere. i will talk about their backstories. i am not afraid to do any of the above.
#repeating this to myself over and over again#i really do want to talk about my guys with people i just blank on it#like oh yeah heres my ocs with a carefully thought out story and world and -- oh wait you .. you want to see them?#well actually ive forgotten all about them. sorry ! i dont remember anything about them anymore except for their designs.#wheres my jeff sbniffle because thats me rn still#STILL#i objectively drew quite a bit today but its all sketches and shit :// and one drawing of cassian thats now on his TH but frankly#i dont want anyone to see that shit . even if its on his TH#ugh i should talk about skylar/lillian/garrett/andrew or maybe jack/malphas/cassian and their friend dynamics#or my fucking ten trillion warrior cat ocs#MHGMHHGRHMRGRMRG UGH#FUCKING. I NEED TO OR ILL DIE BUT DOING IS SO DIFFICULT!
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Nothing like crying, panicking and shutting down because your therapist described how she sees you and said nice things about you
#i cried because someone was nice to me#lets just stop and think about that for a minute#i couldnt even look at her#i felt like my cheeks were burning but idk#i thought i might be feeling shame or embarrassment but i couldnt actually tell what i felt#i immediately felt panic on the inside and was trying not to cry#i was trying to fake it til i made it but it didnt work#i felt like i wanted to make her stop talking or burst out of the room#ima be honest i already have amnesia on exactly what she said because it was too hard to hear but it was something along the lines of#she enjoys who i am and if she met me outside of this she would think we'd be friend and i have a quirky sense of humor and im interesting#and capable...i think. ive forgotten the rest.#and yeah#it almost was just more painful because thats the point isnt it??? all the people i meet who i get along with and people i dont get to have#in my life for real#its always transient people who dont stay in my life or i cant actually have friendships or relationships with#it just makes me more angry at the world tbh#and in the same breath i had to tell her that i knew she wasnt lying but that i didnt believe it#because i cant even believe when people see value in me or see something they like#it feels like theyre entertaining me with pity#that they must not know who i am#hhhh#therapy things
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In other news heres a flip the coin game: Is it a new fandom interest or did i think too hard about a funny pairing dynamic so it is kicking around in my brain for longer than expected (on top of spending over three weeks between being amused by the inclusion of historical mythology a kid i used to babysit was obsessed with combined with mentally lamenting over 'of COURSE they made him a blonde white guy, its anime why did i expect better') or wind up thinking about something else related to it a tiny bit too hard.
#Let me tell you my brain deciding to just randomly pick situations and crack ships during an nine hour ER visit accompanying a friend??#did not help.#I either officially have one foot in hell now.#Or my brain has been too tired to give a fuck about hyperfixations so its just been?#Its just been whatever the fuck my friends have been yammering on about.#The *checks notes* 'worst guy to find relatable' situation has done zero favours because the brain is all 'here. here is a guy you can writ#--easily. it will be fun. promise.' from time to time. (spoiler: its easy for Not Fun reasons)#While on the flip side the part of me that never quite let go of my childhood historical interests wants to flip a table.#Because i fucking hate how 'stuck up blonde white guy' fits the personality they chose.#Oh well. Take things as they go one step at a time because im too bored to care to choose to do something else with my time every other--#--tuesday night.#Honestly it would of been fine if it wasn't a old hyperfixation of a friend who started prattling on about one of the games.#Did NOT help lmao. Shit was so 'oh fuck this character is extra relatable now and i fucking hate it' to the point that??#I spent like one third of my fortnightly allocated psych couch time talking about it while mentally face down in a pool.#because of the embarrassment over making a joke and underestimating the shit my brother told his ex gf.#She was not supposed to get the jokes secondary hidden punchline.#I Talk#I mean i dont hate the series.#I cannot say i love it either.#But it has merits here and there.#It is entertaining at least even if it could very much Do Better(tm)#The sad part is i can see exactly why one of my cousins recced it like a decade ago#i felt too embarrassed to ask what the name was again because i had forgotten between my job and health issues and craft hobbies.#....but now i think it was perhaps a good thing it was put off instead of added to the 'watch with the crew' pile.#Because im quite sure one of my friends would of been obnoxious about it lmao.#Because it would of been like the whole 'why dont you hate him more? your mother is eerile like frieza' situation all over again.#Which for the record was incredibly awkward having to explain that despite the similarities they are different enough it doesn't annoy me.#Also my mother isn't a fictional character.#But maybe im just good at compartmentalising shit like that.
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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hmmmmm i had wondered recently how i would go about designing an anomaly which do not wants to be perceived
it is on a spectrum,,,,, Normally people cant see it but those who can see it as a sort of tiger but pinpointing exactly how it looks like is impossible because its appearance is different every panel/scene and shifts,,, what it does is that it eats memories of people and erases the people that they consumed from the memories of other people, so its like they never existed at all (and it ate Banksy) (wait who's Banksy??)
agentlady/corrine can see it because its her personal torment and felix/moustache guy can see it because he just sees things other people dont
i think she somehow got manipulated by it into helping it and is trying to fix her mistake and catch it before it hurts more people? Also a callback to the blackroom comic because why not
i think the perspective of being forgotten might be double scary for artists???its their gist afterall thankyou for coming to my tedtalk im just freestyling over here i love drawing concepts!!!
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More roomate!au thoughts because, again, my brain never stops. When you move in with them, dont expect to be able to do anything by yourself ever again (unless its housework and their away), your car needs fuel? Dont worry Simon will go with you and fill it up for you and dont even think about trying to pay for it yourself, you tried once and Simon just glared at you so you tucked your card back into your purse. You need to go get a few supplies for college, Price and Gaz are joining you and giving their opinions about the best laptop to get or the best stationary (they fill out enough paperwork that they know the best ones). You're cooking them dinner, Johnnys right by your side following your every order and helping to wash up while you go relax on the sofa waiting for whatevers in the oven. And you will want for nothing, you see a pair of shoes you want while out shopping but their outside of your price range, they arrive at your door a week later just after the boys deploy, you see a pretty necklace on TV and comment on it, Johnnys there behind you fastening it just before your next night out. You lament that your mattess and bed are uncomfortable, a new one arrives the next and it just so happens to be big enough to fit all 5 of you on it.
Yeah, the boys would 1000% give you princess treatment

My mind is still on that drabble so i absolutely love this so so so very much god yes….
Original post
It doesn’t end there, of course. God, they do so, so much for you.
It’s Simon who stands right outside the bathroom door when you get sick late at night, trying to be quiet and not bother anyone yet when you tell him he should go to sleep, you’ll be fine, he doesn’t even let you finish your sentence.
“Don’t need sleep,” he grunts, pulling you against his body. Despite your protests, his warmth alone makes you melt. “Jus’ tell me what you need.”
It’s Gaz who gifts you with a surprise spa day kit after he notices how exhausted you look during your exams, gently pushing aside your laptop. “You look knackered, lovie,” he murmurs. “Let me take care of you, alright? You always spoil us when we return anyways, this the least we can do.”
It’s Johnny who immediately knows your day has been shit just from listening the way you shuffle in, shoulders slumped and head downcast.
“Someone steal yer sunshine, hen?”
“Don’t wanna talk about it, Johnny,” you mumble tiredly, yet you have no energy to refuse when he leads you to the couch. “Bad day. I’ll just go to my room-“
“Nah, none o’ that,” he shakes his head, taking your bag. “Sit down, aye? I’ll fix you up something warm.” Though he makes sure to drap a blanket over yours shoulders before he goes into the kitchen, muttering about food.
It’s Price who goes hand in hand with your safety. All of them do make you feel safe but John is just- a bit different.
Once, you were being followed after you finished shopping and like an idiot, you’d forgotten your usual pepper spray you carried. You knew you were being followed because you could feel the eyes constantly on you and you circled the same area several times. Your hands are shaking when you text him, praying to every god-
- john
- Yes, love?
You are too afraid to even crack a smile at his serious punctuation.
- someones following me idk what to d
You don’t wait for him to reply. Just nervously, with too many typos, you tell him where you are and if please can he come or any of the men-
When John appears by your side in no less than five minutes, he just pulls you close to his side.
“Come on, sweetheart.” He ushers you along. “Bloke’s been dealt with. Give me your backs, yeah? Next time tell me or any of the muppets to join you.”
Too late you notice the blood splatters on his knuckles.
Also, remember when I said the original ad had been because they wanted someone to keep the place tidy when they are away? That doesn’t apply when they are home. If they see you cleaning or cooking, they are helping- nu uh, no complaints allowed, they are not about to let you slave away when you have four very capable men at your beck and call.
Hell, once it was Johnny who saw you scrubbing the kitchen floors and he just picked you up and placed you on the counter, tsking at you.
In a few hours, John returned to find all of them cleaning the kitchen; Soap was now dusting, Gaz vaccuming, and Simon wiping the counters.
And you were bundled in the couch corner, cozy and cute.
“What’s all this?” He asked, an eyebrow raised, and you shrug.
“She was tryin’ to clean.” Johnny grumbled from the corner.
“And you didn’t stop her sooner?”
“Bloody stubborn bird,” Ghost was the one who replied this time, not even looking up.
You opened your mouth to argue, but the look John fixed you with made you shut your mouth with a click.
“Good girl.”
The warmth on your cheeks was definitely not from overworking, at least.
You mention needing new clothes? You wake up to Simon’s credit card on your nightstand with a note ordering you to use it. “Strangely”, you can’t find neither your own card nor your wallet.
You also can’t find him, but Kyle’s there and oh wow! He has nothing to do so he will in fact be joining you (and making you model the dresses and outfits and send pictures to the others so you can be drowned in compliments)!
Also i like to hc that john(s) are both huge coffee lovers and they do in fact have those huge, fancy coffee machines yk? They are insulted when they see you drink the cheap, shitty, tasteless instant coffee you are surviving on and from then on, you will wake up every day to warm, fresh coffee made for you <33
Anyways gods i love them sm can you tell 😩😩
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