#and i was able to get on starbucks wifi to handle some issues with my skirt order

[shopwitchvamp]

Today has been a much better day for all of us, but especially for Jolene!

(Still very hectic though. So many things to handle.. But it's getting there.)

[halethestilinskis]

Surprise Visit - Stiles Stilinski Imagine

Stiles has been your best friend for, well, ever. There's nothing you guys didn't do together, or tell each other, there were zero secrets in your relationship. The day Scott had gotten the bite, Stiles was at your door telling you that Scott was a werewolf and he didn't even know it yet. Which struck you as odd, but it was Stiles, so everything he did was always on the odd spectrum, but he was also the smartest person you knew, and was almost always right about everything, and of course, made him like other intelligent people. Like Lydia Martin.

You didn’t hate her, she's beautiful, intelligent, rich and a friggin' Banshee to top off everything, no wonder Stiles was in love with her, so was half the school. But she liked to show people she was better than them, wearing everything designer, driving the nicest cars, dating the hottest boys, and getting the best grades to get into an Ivy League school. The amount of envy you had for her, made you dislike her even more.

Stiles' crush was known by the entire world, even Lydia herself, and even though you spent hours trying to tell him that she was no good for him, and that she didn't even like him, that she was still in love with Jackson, it didn’t matter, which pissed you off even more.

And here we are, both off to college, Lydia in an Ivy League school, Stiles in Quantico, and you still in Beacon Hills, commuting to college so you didn't have to lose your internship with the Sheriff. At least Scott was around. 

Stiles broke your heart without even knowing, by making out with Lydia on the last day of school, by the Jeep he was about to take you home in. He didn't know you saw, you just stood there dumbfounded that he was making out with girl of him dreams, when yesterday, she wanted nothing to do with him.

"I don't know, maybe I should just give up"  your mind flashed back to what Stiles told you a few months ago.

"She just doesn’t know how great you are" you charmed, winking at him.

"I'm serious (y/n), she's perfect" he gushed, falling back on the bed so his head was over the side, looking at you upside down while you sat on the floor.

"She's alright" you shrugged, your nose turning up. You tried to hide your face so Stiles wouldn't see, but he was too wrapped up in his day dream to even notice your disgust.

"She smart, beautiful, her hair is gorgeous, and she always says what's on her mind" he said with literal heart eyes.

"Stiles" you spoke up, your stomach in knots, wanting to tell him how you actually felt. He finally zoned in on you, flipping over so he could see you straight, urging you with his eyes to continue, but your confidence dropped, you're no Lydia, "We should probably focus on this project".

You walked home crying, not wanting to interrupt his make out session, and also not wanting to show him how much watching that hurt. He can tell you all about it on the phone later. Which he did, in great detail, which you promptly ignored by doing some homework to avoid the heartache.

Stiles left for college a few months ago, and unfortunately, he's been so busy working and getting A's that he hasn't talked to you too much, although he texts you everyday telling you how his day was, and asks you how his dad has been doing, but you haven't heard for him in a week, and you were starting to get worried.

"Hey Sheriff" you greeted as you walked into the station, giving a smile to Parish that you've developed a crush on since he started getting friendly with the group, "Have you talked to Stiles lately, I haven't heard from him".

"Huh?" he asked distracted with a file in his hand before hearing the question, "Uh, yeah, he's uh, having a little bit of a girl issue".

"Wait, what?" you asked, shocked that Stiles didn't even bother to tell you, "with Lydia?"

"Yeah" he dragged out, "he said she dumped him or something, I don't know, he hasn't said much else to me…"

The Sheriff kept talking, but your mind shut down on everything that didn't have to do with seeing Stiles right now. He's heartbroken, you don't even have to guess, this was the woman of his dreams, and she just up and left him? There's no way you weren't going to visit him.

"(y/n)" the Sheriff said, trying to get your attention.

"I'm sorry, Sheriff, I have to go" you said whipping out your phone, "I probably won't be in for the next week, I have to go see Stiles".

"He's in Quantico" he called out, as you opened the door to leave.

"I know" you stated, pulling up Stiles name, and holding the phone to your ear, "that's why I need a week- Stiles call me back right now, I'm heading to Virginia, I'm taking the first flight out".

You sped to your house to pack your things in a hurry, letting your mom know what was going on after she freaked out thinking you were running away from home. In less than 30 minutes you had everything, and even if you didn't you would buy it when you got there. You took a moment to sit on your bed and look for some flights, since you were leaving today, the slots were pretty slim, but you were able to get a flight for pretty cheap that left in 2 hours, which meant you needed to leave now.

"Mom, I need you to drive me to the airport, flight leaves in 2 hours" you said, throwing her, her keys.

Your mom nodded, knowing how important Stiles was to you. Not only as a friend, but your mom was your best friend and you had confided to her about your feelings when you swung open the door with tears in your eyes the day you say Stiles making out with Lydia.

You were waved through security without a problem, and made your way to your gate to board, you got there just in time. You pulled your phone out once more to call Stiles, but it went straight to voicemail, which could only mean one of three things, he was in class, his phone died, or things are much worse than you had originally thought.

"Hey Stiles, look, I'm on my way, I'm on my flight now, I'll be there in 4 hours, please call me back, I'm buying wifi just in case" you ended.

You paid for the wifi, and then sat back in relax. Thankfully, this flight had movies and shows to choose from so you could distract your mind, but by the time you landed, there was nothing from Stiles.

When you deplaned, you immediately went to Starbucks, your heart was racing fast enough, but you haven't had your morning coffee yet, and your head was hurting for caffeine withdrawal.

Finally, as you called for an Uber, Stiles texted you.

Hey, I was in class, are you really here right now? 

This wasn't a conversation for text, you clicked his name and called him, while getting into your Uber and reassuring him where to go.

"Hey" he said cheerfully.

"Hey!" you responded back, "I'm in a Uber right now, I'll be there in like 20 minutes, can you meet me somewhere?"

"Uh, yeah" he answered in a questioning tone, "Uh, there's a café like right by the entrance you can meet me at."

"Awesome, I'll see you in 20 okay?" you asked, wanting to know if he actually wanted you there by the tone he would give.

"Can't wait!" you could hear his smile as he hung up the phone.

The buildings were beautiful, as soon as you pulled up you were awestruck and so jealous that Stiles got to live here until his training was over. You saw the café he mentioned, and made your way over, looking through the window to see him standing there in his white dress shirt and black tie, a coffee in hand. His eyes caught yours in the window and his smile beamed, almost tripping on his way out the café.

"HI" he beamed, crushing your bone with a hug.

"Hey!" you hugged back, smiling wide.

"Fuck, I've missed you, come on" he ushered, grabbing your suitcase for you and leading you back to his single dorm that his dad convinced him to get.

"How was your Uber ride?" he questioned, the smile still apparent.

"Literally, as soon as I got off the phone with you, he tried to make very awkward conversation" you giggled, following Stiles into his room.

"I can't believe you're here" he beamed again, pulling you into another hug, "why'd you decide to come here so sudden?"

This was awkward. Maybe his dad was wrong, maybe there was tons of girls here crawling all over him, and that was his 'girl troubles'.

"Uh" you said awkwardly, giving him a confused look, "your dad said Lydia broke up with you and.. I thought you'd be heart broken, and could use a friendly face".

"Oh" his smile faded, no longer looking at you, "yeah, she called and ended everything, said we were too far away and she couldn't handle that". 

"Okay, but I just flew here in 4 hours to see you, so why couldn't she drive from Boston to here?" you questioned, annoyed at the dumb excuse.

"I don't know, it doesn't really matter" he shrugged.

"No Stiles, it matters" you stated, "you're the greatest person, the most loving, caring, genuine person and I have the privilege to call you my best friend for years, and if Lydia can't see that, then she doesn't deserve you".

"Thanks" he cracked a smile, "I wish I could find someone that cares about me as much as you do".

Ouch. You wanted to scream, to tell him that you were, that you've been in love with him since high school but couldn't say anything because fucking LYDIA!

"Okay" you stated, trying to work your way into his heart, "what if you did?"

He stared at you for a long moment, for a second you thought he was seeing right through your plan, "I'd have to scoop her up, and never let her go" he winked.

"What if she looked exactly like me" you smirked, hoping this one sunk in a little more than the last hint.

"As beautiful as you? I couldn't get that lucky" his face was pink, smiling down at the ground, hoping you didn't see.

"What if she was me, and you understood what I was saying" you rolled your eyes with a smirk, hoping he would look up at your face to see how sincere you were.

He snickered and shook his head at the ground, causing the smile to vanish from your face. What have you done? But when he looked up at you, he had smitten eyes, a small smile on his face as his eyes bored into yours.

He didn't say anything, just got up off his bed and maneuvered his way over to the chair you were sitting in.

"I have loved you since the first day I met you in third grade" he said before you cupped your face and planted his lips passionately onto yours. It was a soft kiss, but with so much built up passion and tension behind it. You could feel how nervous he was about the spontaneity of it, but as soon as you started kissing him with the same amount of passion, the nerves faded.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on yours, before squatting down to get to eye level with you in the chair, "I just never wanted to say anything and ruin it all" he finished.

You chuckled, "I felt the same way when I saw you making out with Lydia on the last day of school, I was going to tell you, but, then that happened".

"I'm sorry" he said, grabbing your hands, "I never thought you wanted this, never thought it would hurt you or make you jealous".

You shrugged, you didn't want to hear about Lydia anymore, "Hey, we're here now, and I guess that's all that matters" you pulled him closer for a quick peck. There was a sweet silence in the air as he pulled you to the bed to lay in his arms and cuddle for a few minutes. This is what you dreamed of, literally. There were days where you would lay in your bed, and just imagine him there, maybe not even together, maybe just hanging out, but this is definitely everything you have ever wanted. 

"So wait" he broke the silence, "does this mean were dating now, like I didn't formally ask you or anything, so I'm a little confused on how adult relationships work, is it assumed or like do I have to buy to something to make it official" he rambled until you cut him off with a kiss.

"Yeah, I'd say were dating" you chuckled, laying back down on his chest.

"Thank god" he breathed out, "I was so unprepared".

You both laughed for a good while, calming down from the happiness you were sharing, enough to lay together and stare at each other.

"How are you ever going to be an FBI agent?" you smirked, hugging him closer to you, before ending the morning with a nap.

[smilesandexits]

15, 2, 23?

well my wifi was SO SHITTY that i didnt do this one but im gonna do it now! all the ask games on my blog! 

im very sorry for how long this post is, all my long posts are tagged “long post --” but if you have “long post” blacklisted im pretty sure it still works

star trek character asks

(2) Spock: Have you ever felt as if you didn’t quite fit in anywhere?

lol im autistic and queer what do you think

(15) Worf: Are you a serious person or someone who likes to joke around a lot?

BOTH!

(23) Janeway: Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, or neither?

Starbucks! Dunkin’ Don’ts

music asks

2:A song you like with a number in the title

One Gentle Nudge by 7k

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

Amy aka Spent Gladiator 1 (original by the Mountain Goats) covery by @transbucky​! i almost put this one as the other one but i saw this and like. his version is better.

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

The Reunion Song by Uncle Bonsai (trust me)

cute asks

2. Favorite pastel color?

does this count as pastel????

because if so???? im a space nerd and the average color of the universe is definitely the answer

15. Do you wear make-up? When?

nope! never have, likely never will! especially given that as a kid i had some weird allergic reaction to some makeup and i do NOT like that at all

23. Favorite nail polish color/name?

oh dear there was one that had a really good name and i DONT REMEMBER IT!!!!!!!!

it doesnt have a name

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

in theory? yes im 19. in practice? my aroace ass...

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

yeah

23. Are you nice to everyone?

i’m nice until i’m given a very good reason(s. repeated over long periods of time) to not be and then i will be vicious

flowery asks

(2) baby’s breath : what did you want to be when you were a kid ?

an author! now i dont think i could handle other people reading my writing and i’d do better handling other people’s books!

(15) hydrangea : what’s your dream job ?

this is in a lot of ask games apparently?? something to do with books

(23) pansy : do you believe in love at first sight ?

i believe that one should trust their instincts but also. no.

a different cute one

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

mostly shy but like. tryin’ to get more outgoing.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

hm.. if we start summer early (in like. april) then i made a friend! if not then like. today i got to go to 2 bookstores. we didnt really get much but i got to go. including to my favorite bookstore which i love with my entire being

23. Do you have trust issues?

YEP!!!!

50 questions you’ve never been asked

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

first off i already have 2 sisters, second i know that no matter how much you think living with somebody would be great you NEED a trial period because otherwise you end up wanting to murder them

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

probably uhh.. it was probably a harry potter character? i had a run of that when i was a kid

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish or ASL with ASL slightly in the lead. I mean, languages are fun and all but you have to think functionality sometimes and being in the US?? anyway i also have such bad auditory processing issues that it’d be really nice to be able to sign

personal shit

2. Self harmed?

not in any physical sense, but emotional self harm?? i mean is it self harm if you work to stop it once you find out it’s also self harm (and realising how harmful it is)? because that changes my answer.

15. Eye color?

blue!

23. Favorite song?

lol if only it was that easy

random asks

2- Sexual orientation?

ace

15- Cats or dogs?

cats!

23- Single?

yes

lgbt+ ask game

2) How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

I figured out i was ace when i was like 14 and that hasn’t changed at all, idk i saw stuff about asexuality on tumblr and realised that like. i wasn’t interested in the same things as my peers. at that point i was still not sure about being aro but i knew i was gay, now i’m like 99% sure i’m aro like. i’m... once again, not interested in the same things as my peers. i don’t feel the same things other people do.

15) Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

yes!! it’s within walking distance of my house and i’ve gone the past like 3 years i think? the past 2 i’ve met up with people i know here and it’s been really fun!

23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

i have not!! but i do actually have. a wristband from a gay club. i got it for free at the previously mentioned pride event so y’know. it was free so it’s mine now.

Ask Me!

2: How long have you known your best friend?

since like april lol

15: Things about someone that you find attractive?

hair!!! god i love people’s hair. i’m a very tactile person and if i want to play with somebody’s hair it’s a sign that they make me very happy and that i want them to be happy idk it’s just a Thing.

23: When is your birthday?

January 30th

65 questions you aren’t used to

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like 2?? maybe 3? the dark itself doesnt scare me but if i can see things moving slightly i get freaked out a lot and noises get scarier in the dark

15. Do you like someone?

i know this means ~liiiiiike~ someone so NO

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

that i will never have more than 2 friends offline

[lazyvector]

We are (almost) six months into the pandemic

and I am most definitely not okay.

I just wanted to place all my thoughts regarding my experience with the lockdown here in the Philippines, and how my mental health has reached its deepest, downwards slope.

Let’s start with the basics. Is it the masses’ fault that the numbers keep on rising?

Sometimes it’s a yes, sometimes it’s a no.

The Philippine Government has been ‘doing some things’ in order to ‘neutralize the situation’, which basically means that they’re treating the pandemic as if it was an actual, tangible enemy. Like criminals, the government treats the pandemic as if they could just shoot it, or lock it behind bars. But the virus is more than just a criminal. The virus is a damn virus that needs to be treated as an illness, and not an actual human being that you can just put into jail. So, we can definitely say that the Philippines isn’t handling the situation well. This article from The Diplomat narrates how this pandemic was poorly handled. It’s a good read while I wait for twenty minutes before I can shower, because I just had a very painful at-home workout session.

However, this doesn’t mean that everything is wrong. WHO has been helping the Philippine government in responding to the rising cases, in which an article can be found here. Influential people have started startup funds and outreach programs to those severely affected by the pandemic. Celebrities are giving away tablets and pocket wifis to less fortunate students so they can be armed with the right tools to be able to continue their education. All-in-all, despite all the wrongs, there are some things that everyone has done right.

But whose fault is it?

I still see some people posting Instagram stories of going outside, eating samgyupsal and going to Starbucks as if the pandemic isn’t happening. They’re unmasked, face shields on the table as they eat their meals. I’m sure that the preparation stages of these meals were sanitary and satisfactory based on the WHO standard, but seeing these makes me realize that I think we aren’t taking this pandemic seriously. Despite the frontliners’ pleas for us to stay at home, there are still people who choose to go outside leisurely, as if this is just a fad, as if this is just some sort of bird flu that will go away in the next few months.

But COVID-19 just doesn’t go away without an actual plan of action. COVID-19 goes away when people band together to stay at home, to follow safety procedures, and for the leaders to begin actually testing out everyone and to do serious contact tracing so we can prevent further spread of the virus.

So, I personally think that one way or another, we’re all at fault. I guess it’s just the matter of what do we do now?

How bad is it there in the Philippines?

I really can’t tell. I’ve had friends from other countries ask me how I am and all I could answer was “I’m alive.” That’s basically how I feel. I’m very thankful that I’m still alive. I’m thankful for still being employed, still being able to pay for my bills and to buy groceries for my family, despite my expenses being higher due to having to pay for my rising electricity bills for staying at home. There’s just this weird feeling that this will really not end, because every time I open my social media, especially Twitter and Facebook, it’s just news of the cases rising, or news of people dying because of this virus.

I know it’s bad to compare our country to, say, New Zealand, because New Zealand has a different economic status than the Philippines. They can afford to contact trace, they can afford to have a lockdown and just scrape the tip of the iceberg of their national economy without really breaking its ice. They managed to really squash out the virus from their country and these factors play to their success.

But also, because they responded fast. Because they took the virus seriously.

And it’s so unfair, because that’s also how I feel right now - I feel like we aren’t taking this seriously, to the point where I wake up and just feel that there isn’t any point in all of this any more. Like I could just go out and not wear a mask and infect everyone I come in contact with and it wouldn’t matter - but the truth is, I don’t really wanna do that. I wanna stay at home because staying home means I get to save lives. Even if a friend invited me to come with him to a tattoo shop so I can watch him get inked, and even if I could just easily go to a mall to walk around like it’s still normal. I take this seriously because I had a friend who got intubated and it traumatized the shit out of me. It’s so scary, to have a friend that’s fighting for her life while you just wait for news, helpless.

I’m just so tired of people that don’t take this seriously. They go to parties, and they go to places where they shouldn’t be. They don’t care.

It’s unfair, because I care. And if I start to not care, I become the enemy.

On Rapid tests and PCRs

I’ve attended a few webinars into this pandemic and the one thing that every webinar has told me is that rapid tests are not as accurate.

This article from the Springfield News Sun narrates how PCR tests are much more accurate in actual COVID results, but they don’t single it out; they say that rapid tests are also helpful in a way. On rapid tests, they say:

This method of testing is nearly immediate, which lets contact tracing start sooner with a virus where time is of the essence. When there’s a positive test result received quickly, it raises the likelihood that an infectious person can be isolated before they get a lot of other people sick.

So if there’s a place where a suspected COVID case is living, they can first do a rapid test to see if people turn out to be positive. And since rapid tests are, well, rapid, they can know for sure within the day if people need to move on to the swab test, which is a much more accurate way of telling if people are COVID 19 Positive.

Another article from ABS-CBN News interviewed a couple of medical professionals on the use of rapid tests in determining whether or not a person is positive to COVID 19. (Take note: I’ll be translating the excerpt in English, but you can read the Filipino version in the link).

“It doesn’t mean that when you get a negative result [in the rapid test] that you don’t actually have an infection. The chance of being negative is 50 percent even if you’ve already been infected. So the problem here is that even if you have an infection, because you resulted negative, people will be happy to hear that, not knowing that you’ve already been infecting people you’ve come in contact with.” - Dr. Maricar Limpin, vice president of the Philippine College of Physicians.

She added that even the World Health Organization does not recommend the use of rapid anti-body test to diagnose COVID-19. 

Here is another article I’ll be sharing, from One News PH. It’s stated here that medical groups are largely opposing the use of rapid tests as a requirement to return to work. As testing kits become available, employers tend to not read into the actual instructions and to just see that rapid tests are faster and cheaper than PCR tests. I’ve seen this actually happen - people mass-hoarding rapid test kits for their employees just so that they can safely say that their employees have a “negative result”.

There is no such thing as a better rapid test kit, or a much more accurate rapid test kit. There is just a rapid test, and a PCR test, and that’s it.

And, it’s either you have the virus, or you don’t - and that’s the sad part about everything.

So, what now?

I really don’t know. I’ve been stuck here, trying to get my life together by working out and practicing social distancing even here, at home. Which isn’t healthy, by the way, but I really don’t feel like I want to talk to anyone right now, especially if these people aren’t taking the virus seriously. I don’t want to repeat myself over, and over, and over again, but I feel like the problem with how this country handles the pandemic is that most of us feel like “the COVID thing” isn’t that serious.

We can see it in the news, and in people going out for leisure, that just because the quarantine’s lifted does not really give anyone the right to just go from place to place, while not following actual procedures for safety. People think that it’s okay to focus on other things, like taking down a large multimedia company just because your feelings got hurt, or passing a law that has nothing to do with the virus despite WHO urging all governments to take the virus seriously and tackle this issue in such a way that would save the lives of people.

Unfortunately, in almost six months that I’ve been stuck here at home, I’ve yet to see progress in how this thing could be better.

And honestly? I’m already expecting the worse.

I have no hope anymore. I have no hope, and that’s it. I just have to say it - I think we’re all going to die, and whose fault is that?

I’ll leave the question open.