#and i want her artbox more than anything

[sunhealings]

rapunzel + painting

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Aftermath (NJ x Reader)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Guesthouse AU

Pairing: Guesthouse Manager!Namjoon x Foreign!Reader

Warnings: Dirty talk, possessive behaviour, rough unprotected sex on the kitchen counter (ALWAYS use precautions, lads and lasses), accidental voyeurism, squirting, fingering, swearing, breeding/impregnation kink, dom!Namjoon

Summary: The sequel to ‘’Dionysian’’

Every aftermath is different, ranging in variety to all its extents. However, this one experienced by a silver tongue no longer numbed by blueberries does not nullify its need to speak the truth. Thus, the blonde wolf holds on to beliefs made explicit in drunkenness and hopes for physical conviction in sobriety.

By means which carry a sober soul into a former mutual intoxication.

Masterlist

The impact of an aftermath all depends on the reason for its cause, so naturally, it follows that the bigger the agent, the grander the effect of the afterburn. A jet lag tried to be cured by reading, for example, does not have as much if any unpleasant side effects aside from a sense of discombobulation, this is disregarding the fact that what followed the leisurely activity does make walking not all that easy, while the smoky blueberry hangover causes a major headache on top of muttering grumpiness. Withal, and perhaps this is fortunate regardless of the oppressing morality of reality, the negative mood in case of the latter seems to lessen quite a bit when exhausted pained espresso eyes shrouded by haphazard platinum meet drowsy sheepish irises containing various travel stories in the second living room upstairs.

‘Y/N,’ it comes out as a surprised reaction, not having expected to run into the person indirectly involved with the lingering effects of rice-based clear alcohol contained in emerald if that is remembered at all considering the vague forgetful haze shrouding an always comforting gaze, ‘I thought you’d be out and about by now.’

The remark signifies last night has been forgotten and with that the strangely meaningful act that turned out entirely different than expected, oddly making the heart sink with the stone of knowledge that even the genuine passion and devotion has been erased. ‘No, I’m here sleeping off the jet lag. But, uhm, can we talk?’

‘Sure, but,’ a palm presses against the forehead in a futile endeavour to push the likely agonizingly pulsing hurt into retreat, ‘can we do so at a low volume. My head is killing me.’

More than that is currently being figuratively murdered, but there is a voice inside which says that the tall guesthouse manager does not have to know about the events of the past twilight for they are best left in the past. Henceforth, it stays at a consenting nod before two pairs of bare feet ascend the stairs to the stylish though small area both functioning as a hallway, living room, dining room and kitchen all at once.

Along the way, a brief spark of hope is ignited when fingers brush against each other in an absent-minded fashion, hoping for them to entangle entirely or mayhaps go beyond that chaste boundary, falling into the sin left behind in oblivious dusk. A straying digit encourages this renewed type of contact.

But is disregarded as opportunity fades away directly when the wanted big hand swerves away towards the front door where a few coats hang neatly in a row to retrieve a small box of Marlboro Red cigarettes. ‘I’ll be right back. Maybe a smoke will help me clear up.’

The spring weather is warm enough to allow going outside without a jacket provided the upper body is in the least covered by a T-shirt, so the grey long-sleeved shirt on top of loose navy pyjama pants more than suffices when the front door briefly opens and closes without another word to carry on the communication seemingly unaffected by the sensual encounter.

The silence that sets in is cold, the warm lingering affection normally shown nor the traces of the rough version present to calm an anxious heart fearing being abandoned by the handsome manager despite being bound to a gentle ocean artist. Hence, for a moment that feels longer than it truly is, eyes begin to water at the sight of the closed entrance as arms wrap around the shivering body to keep it from unjustly falling apart, barely shy of sobbing when asking the rhetorical questions of the emptiness. ‘Why can’t you remember? Why did it have to mean nothing?’

And with those very same haunting unanswered inquiries, the task of making two decent cups of instant coffee is taken up while fighting the tears that inevitably stream down the cheeks. Shivering hands retrieve a pair of matching crimson and ink black mugs from the cupboard that is slightly too highly installed for the short person determinedly trying to grab a hold of the china, eventually succeeding by standing on the tips of toes. Soft hiccups get lost in the loudly boiling water and the dimmed sobs in the pouring that brings the caffeine to life.

However, a new noise is audible over the tinkling of spoons mixing the powder and water to create a godly beverage: bare feet rapidly padding over the Alaskan white cedar floor after a shocked gasp. Before the door has closed with a hardly audible click, unusually physically affectionate strong arms clad in grey have wrapped around the middle and pulled a fragile figure against a worried chest scented with fresh smoke. ‘Why are you crying?’

‘It- It’s nothing. Do- Don’t worry.’ To move on from the stupidly prominent hurt at the hand of lying fancies, a trivial detail is asked after while continuing to keep the whirlpool in the cup alive, moving. All consuming. ‘Do y- you drink it black?’

‘Y/N, please tell me what’s bothering you. I hate to see you like this.’ The warm breath on locks makes teeth bite down on the lower lip in a desperate attempt to withhold another heavy heave evoked by the genuine loving imaginations it conjures, gravely reminding the mind Taehyung already has an allegation to the title of significant other.

‘Namjoon, re- really. It’s o- okay.’ The handsome tall tree was never meant to be a selfish girl’s lover anyway, so the mourning of the fact is nothing but superfluous information to the man who cannot even remember how amazing and wanted he made her feel. How good it felt to lose control.

‘Is it about last night?’ A plush mouth no longer ghosts over strands grown haphazard by slumber, pressing down on the back of the head in a sincere loving smoke-scented kiss.

A weak nod confirms the suspicion, bravely trying to speak up to ask the question previously asked to the nothingness in a blonde wolf’s wake. ‘Have you forgotten what we did?’

‘I was far gone, too drunk to memorize what happened.’ Had it not been for what follows the statement, the crying might have commenced in earnest without ever giving a proper explanation for it afterwards to neither the platinum giant nor anyone else. Fortunately, the sorrowful chill fades from limbs at the heated reassuring mumbled words. ‘But I remember everything we did, all that I said. How gorgeous you looked while riding me, solely mine instead of his.’

The hug loosens enough to allow for turning around when noticing the urge to do so, needing to see the truth of the claim beneath the soju aftermath.

The dark reminiscent glint says more than enough, emphasizing the wanting has not been nullified over the course of sobering during the remnants of the nightly hours. Especially the barely held back anger pointed towards the artist called a “blueberry” in drunken rage signifies still wanting to be the sole one for a taken travelling individual living on a deadline. ‘I do hate it, you know? Hate it how he’s your boyfriend and I have to watch from the sideline. It should have been me who fucked you when you two came back from eating ramen. In fact, that could have been our second date if only you had recognized the trip to ARTBOX meant as much to me as a first.’

The embrace is made entirely undone as palms move upwards over the upper arms, following the curve of the neck and at last coming to rest on the cheeks where two kind thumbs wipe away the remaining brooks. ‘I don’t care how many men fuck you, but, in the end, I want you to be mine. That, out of all the times another touches you, it’s only meaningful when it’s me. I want you to be mine.’ Lips connect in a kiss tasting of smoke, old alcohol and restless sleep with a fruity hint of blueberries. Not really a preferable combination due to the sharpness of rice alcohol, but otherwise as pleasant, if not more, than the turpentine and lavender experienced each night before going to bed, every morning at waking up and all the little shared moments in between. ‘Leave him. Leave him for me, baby.’

‘I promised he could stay with me.’ Attention shifts to the side, staring at the floor in conflicted self-loathing for wanting to give up for Namjoon but wondering whether it would even matter since the blue-haired art teacher was turned on by the idea of being shared. Said he could learn how to love this body and soul better that way. However, it begs to ask the question where the line is drawn, at which point even this explanation no longer applies.

‘And he still believes that when I’ve clearly marked you as mine? Made him watch you getting a good pounding by me?’ Focus is shifted back by suddenly being picked up and put on the counter, the contact with the cold surface beneath the thighs making a shuddering tingling run down the spine. ‘I want him to stand by and watch, know there isn’t anything he can do to take you from me.’ A tanned hand creeps up the inside of dangling legs, gripping the upper part firmly at the last statement with a concoction of rage pointed towards an absent party and lust towards the present one. ‘Make him feel as I have all this fucking time.’

Helpless palms try to futilely push away the persistent shoulders leaning in to retrace the wonderful path of marks left behind in the twilight purple past, kissing each plum sign of belonging created in the craze of desire, hovering above the gradually heating skin and increasing the temperature by tickling warm breath. Without a second thought, in spite of Sense urging against doing it, fingers acting on muscle memory entangle in soft fluffy platinum locks like they had done before as the foreign body mindlessly bridges the small space between it and the local one.

The obvious hunger for the wolf disguised as a nice guesthouse manager evokes a tangibly bright smile on full lips while the oversized piece of clothing which is the property of a rival is endeavoured to be removed. ‘I think I like this complacent you more, baby. Now take this damn shirt off, I dislike lavender on you.’

‘You will have to deal with it. It keeps me warm.’ The smugness of the dark has not faded since talking back to Namjoon when the man thinks there is no courage to do so is actually quite amusing. Furthermore, it is also another way to avoid giving into the sensual craving stirring in the gut, fueled by the sensations of wanting to be possessed.

‘Hm, maybe not so obedient, after all.’ Clearly, the attitude is not tolerated even in a sober state. Yet, the caressing of the sides combined with a pondering hum forms an example of actual care about wellbeing. ‘I don’t want you to catch a cold, though. Hold on, baby, I’ll be right back.’

Just briefly a handsome face can be regarded fully in earnest before it rushes up the stairs and comes back down with a gorgeous creme-shaded silk kimono with intricate patterns in complementing colours and black bands at the ends of the sleeves. Quick as lightning, making sure there is no opportunity to resist at the last second, the crisp white shirt is almost torn off to be replaced by the personal piece of clothing.

Withal, before the new garments are donned, espresso eyes are drawn to the mesmerizing sight of the revealed chest, grand palms enveloping the two sensitive cushions perfectly as if made exactly to fit the broad-shouldered human tree’s hands. ‘Why did you hide this from me? You’re beautiful.’ The head dips down to take the swollen right rosebud into the mouth, teasing it by nibbling and licking the agitated bud of nerves, while left digits glide over the stomach towards the source of the hedonic scent as their right counterparts curl over the edge of the counter to remain balanced though they rapidly shift to the hip closing in with the ache to be closer. ‘So incredibly beautiful.’

When the coy amusing ministrations over cotton becoming sticky with uncontrollable wanting bring bliss almost too close, the desperate grip on hair that has to be renewed with every novel angle of exploration begins to shake and the chest is falling and rising heavily with laborious breaths mixed with pathetic whimpers and surprised gasps at harder bites or pressure on extremely sensitive spots, the sorry excuse for panties are torn off and the kimono embedded with a trace of nicotine blueberries put on. ‘Look at you, Y/N. Naked but for my clothes, marked as mine, blushing all cutesy with the need for me.’ Legs spread automatically and with a lewd squelch, two fingers slide in embarrassingly easily, soon joined by a third when notice is taken it can be done without problems. ‘So hungry for my cock, craving a good pounding.’ A too eager nod. ‘But first, I’m going to make you squirt all over my fingers and only use you as my personal fucktoy when you’re all nice and complacent, sensitive. Begging me to stop, whining for me to pull my big cock out, crying when I pump you full again. After all, you’re nothing more than my little breeding machine.’

It does not take long for the first promise to come to fruition, the remaining restraints of reality rapidly let go of once that special mind-boggling spot is found and touched over and over after the betraying whine, compelled to watch the obvious watery effects of pleasure by means of an unrelenting controlling grip on hair and baritone growls that shatter every thought in a white haze. ‘You’re such an easy fuck. Already cumming so quickly, making such a mess. But it’s also perfect, because it makes it that much easier to force myself into you, for you to handle me.’

Keeping the earlier given word, loose marine blue bottoms alongside the once fresh pair of boxers - now ruined by the transparent sinful sign which was only noticeable in a tangible shape - are pushed down to the ankles to give free reign to a sober part of the body that the one of the self is already well-acquainted with. Without warning nor inquiry about consent, making use of the floating trance which causes every reaction to be slowed down immensely due to the ignorant bliss exerting a hypnotizing influence on the consciousness, a more intense version of the renewed physical bond is established. The sole reaction that can be managed is hands tightening the hold on the buff upper arms that were already previously held tight when it were only long digits bringing about sexual ruin, hot tears on the brim of falling at the burning sensation of being stretched open again which is intensified by every nerve still standing on edge by the plunge into sensitivity. ‘Namjoon! It- it’s too much. I- I can’t- please, pull out.’

A dark chuckle falls from full lips at a pained whimper evoked at the hand of overstimulation, corners of the mouth curled up in a satisfied devilish grin. ‘You feel even better than I remember. So fucking tight. I said I’d give you a good pounding when you’re nothing more but an obedient little thing, flinching at every contact because it’s too overwhelming.’

Honey-toned digits fold themselves perfectly over the waist, scooting the infiltrated persona closer with ease and thus deepen the union with another pained outcry contrasting with the gesture of holding on tighter to the intoxicating offender driving out any thought dedicated to Taehyung and Jungkook, muffling the beginnings of crying in ashen nicotine fabric, finding comfort in the characteristic scent. However, the hiding place is merely temporary as the counterpart of the shackle on the middle forms around the jaw, ensuring with force that stares remain locked under any circumstance. ‘I want you to keep looking at me as you beg for me to stop. Just know that it won’t actually help, so you can whimper and cry all you want but it only turns me on. You’re going to take my cock like last night, let me empty entirely inside you, and there is nothing you can do about it. You’re gonna take every last drop,’ the hold tightens yet is not fought against as the effect of the sheer strength is as good as a drunken stupor, obliterating the last slivers of the old hypnotizing veil and immediately replacing it with a new blindfold, ‘milk me till I’m dry and your pretty pussy, swollen and sore, is leaking again with my seed.’

A sloppy kiss in combination with the last spoken words before a devastating act of love commences in earnest unintentionally already shows how wanton personal longing has become, endeavouring to enhance the intimacy even further and satiate the uncontrollable craving which is at war with the urge to end it here merely on the grounds of the searing agony below. A brief repose would also be a good alternative, but the primal spirit within neglects the idea altogether and listens instead gladly to the platinum wolf. ‘So, spread your fucking legs like a good deprived bitch and let me breed you.’

Muscles loosen enough to heed the command, an awful joy the determining factor in keeping up with the directly set relentless pace between the thighs of which the ankles wrap around a carved waist that stirs up a paradoxical storm of pleasure and pain in the gut with its movements. Pleads for a halt mixed with sobs about how much it hurts, not lying despite also clearly showing the need for more, made to a beautiful face are returned with praise. ‘Keep begging like that, baby. I’m not going to stop, not when you’re taking me so well.’ The hideous snarl returns with the memory surfacing at a newly discovered detail, a trace thought to have been made undone when restoring the ruin of the night but which only evokes jealousy spurring on the desire to imprint it all over again. ‘When he’s erased every trace of me inside.’

‘N- Nam- Namjoon, pl- please. I- I’m taken. Tae- ah!’ The mention of the sweet artist’s name is obviously unappreciated, the roughness increasing at the attempt to involve a third party if only in speech alone and pushing the burning further into a novel depth. Whatever was about to be said about Taehyung having the right to cover every sensual track made by another on a beloved, albeit solely for a piece of peace of mind, is nullified in the scream preceding heavier heaves disrupted by more pleading while the body behaves in a contrasting manner.

The caramel compelling lover is held near with the tightening of shaking legs around a sculpted waist and cute howbeit flat tummy, hands meekly tugging at the powerful wrists to convince them to break off the harsh grip on the jaw in favour of an unbreakable clinging embrace, the idea of which is consented to and allows fingers to entangle in platinum fluffy strands. Withal, even though it is allowed but a warning is threateningly whispered into the ear almost deaf with the enchanting sounds of low grunts mixed with high-pitched whines against a background of skin meeting skin in the lewdest of fashions. ‘That blueberry doesn’t have the right to erase me from your system. Besides, baby, if you’d really love him, you wouldn’t be taking my dick.’

And in that is a truth universally acknowledged, because if there truly was devotion to a single soul, another one would not be enjoyed as much as it is. There would only be the chemical sting of turpentine made smooth by lavender and the ironically currently affected combination of nicotine smoke, fresh soap and sharp mint kept at bay in mere friendship.

But it is not.

‘Is everything alright? I heard someone... oh.’ The front door is unsuspectingly opened with haste by a panicked classic pastry and sweets maker, cheeks colouring a bright rosy pink matching the neatly arranged hairstyle when realizing what the source for the outcry thought to be in distress really is.

‘Get out.’ Possessive fevered irises glare at a stunned Jimin, frozen in place by awkwardness and ignorance as to how to proceed to come out of the situation as unscathed as possible, full lips parted in pure paralysis. ‘We’re busy.’

Hard-handed, the almost affectionate hug is broken off with a renewed hold on the jaw to unresistingly shift attention from desperately holding onto broad shoulders with black sensitive blindness to gaze at a flustered face lit up the bright Seoul spring sun. Though murmured at a low volume against the reddish-purple bruises on the side of the throat, what is being said is nevertheless audible for the unwelcome visitor with hair like the cherry blossoms around the concrete jungle. ‘And don’t you dare try to interfere. Y/N’s taking my cum, she’s my slut.’ A seemingly misplaced nuzzle under a primal trance makes it undeniable whom the ravished body belongs even though the intricate gorgeous kimono also gives off a clue. ‘Mine.’

‘Well, actually-’ The rest of the sentence is broken off when the risk of the manager’s wrath becomes too real again, sheepishly settling for something else before rushing off to God-knows-where after shutting the just opened door with a slam. ‘You know what? Never mind. I’ll, uh, leave you to- to it.’

‘I swear, if he also comes after you. Which he will, just like the others, even Yoongi, and that desperate boy trying to pretend he’s actually a cop.’ The continuation of the threat gets lost in a dangerously displeased grunt accompanied by a harsh thrust. The grip shifts from the underside of the face to the throat, closing the airways just enough to not suffocate in fueled rage taken out in passion. ‘However, I. Don’t. Share.’

Climaxes can be triggered in various ways, but the need to possess of a strong-willed wolf and the craving of a traveller to be controlled by the blonde animal in disguise because the ocean artist is too sweet throws entangled forbidden lovers violently off the cliff, on the edge of which has been tethered with words pushing the wish to achieve the lewdly described goals.

And just like during the last twilight and at the start of relived furious jealous love-making, the overstimulation is ignored as pained whimpers and repeated pleads for pulling out continue to function as an aphrodisiac until yet another promise is fulfilled, once more made to watch how it is established when not staring into raging deep brown.

‘Breath, baby, breath. Easy, easy, shhh.’ After the last release, shaking all over with effort which makes it hard to remain upright, a heated gradually calming chest is collapsed against in an explosive limbo as a hand transformed from rough into gentle caresses messy locks. Cushion full lips place an appreciating kiss on the temple, an action that is quite a contrast with the claiming biting, while every last drop of thick undoubtedly unclear fluid is attempted to be absorbed regardless of the soreness. ‘That’s it, baby. Milk me. Good girl, you did so well. I’m proud of you.’

When having regained consciousness enough to straighten the spine and be somewhat coherent in the reality that slowly sinks in, another chaste kiss is placed on a sticky forehead as upper arms clad in clinging silk are rubbed kindly before slowly sliding up to cup a tear-streaked face and wipe away the last of tears, now shed thanks to the impactful severing which results in the wished for outcome of leaking with white. ‘God, you’re beautiful. That kimono also looks wonderful on you. You should wear it more often.’ 

The smug smirk at the comment fades away into severity as fast as it appeared, baritone voice stained with a certain gravity when requesting something that cannot be easily consented to due to committing promises. ‘I meant what I said. I don’t share, especially not the girl I love. Even if this ends up in a polygamous relationship if you decide to sleep with any of the other guys or they persuade you to, know that I’ll hate each and every one of them for knowing what it’s like to be with you when I want the privilege of it. Furthermore, if they make you do anything you don’t want, I’ll beat them up and turn them out onto the street.’ Absentmindedly, the collar of the robe is corrected, fabric put around a shivering speechless body with genuine care. ‘For now, leave him. I really do want you to leave him for me. Be mine.’

‘I can’t, Joon. I promised Taehyung we’d be more than a spring affair, that he can stay with me.’ A shuddering sigh almost makes the rediscovered voice disappear again with the realistic afterthought. ‘At least until I have to go.’

‘You can make the same promise to me and I’ll guarantee we can stay together. I got a solid income from the guesthouse, a place to call home and which can be our home whenever you’re in Korea.’ The kiss that follows is grave, acting like the last bastion in the fights against determined realism. Espresso irises scented with dewy nicotine laced with fruit gleam with pleads held out of speech. ‘I promise. Please, leave him.’

‘I can’t.’

Fists clamping Japanese clothing.

‘Why?’

Brooks on caramel cheeks.

‘Sorry.’

Clad in silk and traces of another that also cannot be.

Such is the devastating aftermath of two lonely broken hearts.

[spinachdrum]

Day 3 - Subway + Gyeongbokgung Palace + Kyobo Bookstore

Hello everyone! I’m back for another quick daily round up :) 

Today was so nice, it was our first day going out and about and we chose to do something a little more lowkey! It was still a ton of walking (I think we walked like close to 10 miles today which really isn’t that much now that I think about it, ha!) but we also climbed a million flights of stairs coming in and out of the subways! 

This was also my first time trying to refigure out the subways since my first time here in 2017. Luckily the subway system in Korea is SO easy to figure out! Especially when you see the map of the subway lines, it makes it so simple. If you have to connect anywhere, the map does all the work for you, and the stations are pretty much color coded. If you don’t know any Korean, everything has English on it so you’ll be able to figure it out really easily still! 

Here’s a picture of the map in Dongmyo station! It might be a little hard to read since I use HUJI for literally every single picture I take. :p 

Luckily, we are staying really close to Gwanghwamun, which is the station where Gyeongbokgung Palace is located! We also chose to go here today since there’s a Kyobo bookstore out of Exit 3 and I wanted to look around there. 

In the plaza just before the gate, there is a very large statue of King Sejong! There’s actually and underground part beneath the statue that is really cool and interactive and has so many cool artifacts and stuff to learn about. We didn’t end up going this time, but we went last time I came to Korea and it was super cool! 

Here’s me in front of the statue of King Sejong! 

Gyeongbokgung Palace is seriously so beautiful. It’s hard to describe it with words--there’s something so special about seeing it in person. The architecture is so stunning and it has survived so much hardship. It was burned down and then restored, and parts of it suffered much during Japanese occupation. But even hundreds of years later the palace is still standing and the grounds are absolutely breathtaking. Even for people who aren’t interested in history, I recommend coming here just to see this marvel of historical architecture in person. There’s a ton of plaques around the grounds explaining what the different buildings are for and what happened to them throughout history. 

Entry was also only ₩3,000.00. I don’t remember it being that cheap last time I was here but it might have been! Either way I was pleasantly surprised by that. Here are a few photos I took around the palace grounds! 

When we were walking through the grounds toward the gate to leave, we heard this HUGE bang like on the head of a giant drum. We were both like what?! and rushed through to see that they had roped off the main plaza of the palace just before you exit and were doing some kind of traditional demonstration! It was so cool to watch, this didn’t happen last time I was here and I was super grateful we managed to catch it happening this time! It was hard to hear the narration but I asked my Korean professor and she told me it was a ceremony to open the gates. This website has a really good information breakdown of the guard changing ceremony! I also caught some of it on video; people were walking in and out of frame and I was behind a sign so apologies for the not so clear view! 

After we left Gyeongbokgung, we went across the street to Kyobo Bookstore. It’s right out of Exit 3 of Gwanghwamun Station. My god, I was not ready for the madness that waited for us in there. I believe it’s back to school time for Korea, so the pace was PACKED. And I mean PACKED. Like super loud, wall to wall people, and it didn’t help that Kyobo is REALLY big! I mean, two cafes and a million little mini stores big. You could buy literally anything in Kyobo I’m pretty sure. Need an entire set of books? Kyobo. Need some stationary? Kyobo. Need some party supplies? ARTBOX in Kyobo. Need a humidifier? Kyobo. Hotel? Trivago.

Seriously though, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of people and I was super on a mission to find the March issue of Allure magazine since Jinyoung is in it that I spaced on taking some pictures of the bookstore!! I did end up finding it and I was soooooooo happy. He looks stupid handsome in those photos and I’m just. Dead. YEAH. I love him. There was also a place to buy CDs in the Kyobo so I went in there and looked around; I ended up buying Taemin’s new album and the Eyes On You World Tour DVD. ☺️☺️☺️

After Kyobo we were like, okay it’s time to EAT and go home and chillax. Nichole woke up at 4:30AM for whatever reason so at this point she had been awake FOREVER so I don’t blame her for being super tired! Because of that we didn’t really want to hunt for a restaurant or anything, so we decided that we were going to try out the food from Korean McDonald’s since I didn’t try it on my last visit. 

And you know what? It’s so fucking good. Like, legit so good. I wanted to cry.

First of all it had those dope ass ordering screens in there, and you could order on that without even talking to anyone lol. I know they have these in America but where I live in Arizona, I haven’t seen them yet, so that was a really cool little novelty experience! 

We got the Shanghai spicy chicken burger, the bulgogi egg burger, fries, and some cheese sticks. Seriously I am obsessed with eggs (LMAO) and I looooooooove fried eggs. Like I would straight up die for a fried egg. If there’s something with a fried egg on it, I can’t pass up the chance to try it, so I was super happy about the bulgogi egg burger and it was FUCKING DELICIOUS. 

Seriously, I love you, Korean McDonald’s. 

After we ate, we both just kind of laid around for a while. Nichole ended up sleeping for 4 hours sdklfjslkgj but this is a totally normal experience for her and she will go to bed with no problem later (but might wake up at 4am again, LOL). I finally got hungry and went to the convenience store for some easy-make stuff for a late dinner, but Nichole woke up and went to Subway while I stopped into Daiso for some rice and some wet wipes for my bag. We stopped into Home Plus Express just to check it out and we found bottles of soju FOR ₩1,500.00 WON. That’s less than $1.50!!!!!!!!! CRAZY. 

That’s all for tonight! Tomorrow we’re going to Myeongdong and meeting our classmate in Hongdae for dinner. Tune in for more tomorrow! 

[dedsunflawers]

the end

The Chase 

“Hi, how’s shit?” 

It all started with a chase 

We chatted every day 

We exchanged jokes 

We flirted back and forth without our friends knowing 

Neck kissing was part of coincidental meetings in school 

We were clingy 

You’d send me home despite the long walk in 

We’d text non stop 

We’d go on secret dates 

We loved like there was no tomorrow

It was a perfect picture, some would say it’s crazy. 

The Honeymoon 

Dates were a weekly thing 

We’d spend every day together 

Even if it meant lying in bed and doing nothing 

We went on our first Christmas Wonderland together 

And our first Artbox experience

We’d crave to be with each other more each other 

We’d sacrifice sleep to be with each other 

Flirting was every day 

We introduced each other to our parents 

We had no disagreements at all 

Friends say it’s crazy we’re together 

How did it happen? When did it happen? 

Questions were everywhere 

We still wanted to be together despite the questions 

Our honeymoon period lasted longer than months 

It was almost a year of constant love and want 

It’s crazy to explain the love and time we shared 

We were crazy over each other 

It was the start of something new

The Beginning 

The real relationship started to kick in 

Our tempers flew 

We argued over little things 

Even though there was love 

We wanted to make things work 

We got over the issues 

We still went on dates 

We went to our first and only concert together 

We sang and screamed our hearts out 

You didn’t like Ed as much as I did 

You didn’t know the words to his songs

But you still went because I wanted to 

We went on our first family trip with my family 

To malacca we went 

Ate Nancy’s Kitchen which was oh so good 

We started to go on hikes together 

We spent almost every day together 

We loved each other every day 

We had family dinners 

We celebrated birthdays 

We spent time with our friends 

Just like any normal couple 

I’d say just a tad more time with each other than anyone else 

This part was the craziest 

We loved too much 

The Middle 

We finally graduated after 4 years 

We went on holidays together 

With our families and friends 

We spent nights together cuddling 

Every day we wake up 

We yearn to be together 

We binge watched Friends together 

National Service came 

You enlisted 

That was the first time we spent 2 weeks apart 

First few days were hell 

You couldn’t be with me physically 

Texts were cut short 

Calls turned sour 

And we decided texting should do it 

But we made it to the 4th month of it 

Every week was a waiting game of Fridays 

We loved Fridays and dreaded Sundays 

We still spent time over the weekend together 

Sacrificing friend-time to be together 

We still went on dates 

And we even celebrated our 2nd anniversary 

Had great food and spent the afternoon at the arcade

Despite all the dates 

We still had disagreements unsolved 

Nights were spent crying 

Meeting in the mornings didn’t seem like a need anymore 

But when we argued

We couldn’t not talk to each other 

Even if it got toxic

We still needed to be together 

We want to be together 

We loved hard

Maybe we loved too much 

The End 

It was an innocent Sunday morning 

When I saw that text from your ex-girlfriend 

“Where are you?” 

I clicked on it but it wasn’t there 

You deleted it

I went ballistic 

You tried to calm me down and explain 

You said she had problems only you can help with 

I threw the girlfriend card on the table

I wanted to leave 

I wanted to walk out that door and never turn back 

But I didn’t 

I stayed and sent you to camp that same night 

I cried for nights wondering

Was I not enough? 

Was I crazy? 

Should I still be crazy about it? 

Trust issues started to set in 

Telegram became my frienemy 

It became a platform I was afraid to use 

I constantly thought about what you talked about 

If you hugged when you met her 

Or if anything else happened

You thought you had it under control 

But you didn’t 

Because I found out 

And it hurt me for months 

Maybe I was crazy 

I shouldn’t have thrown the girlfriend card 

You were trying to be a good friend and boyfriend 

Keeping us both happy 

And maybe it was for the better of us 

When I left 

All I thought was 

Should I have let matters slide? 

Or should I have made a big fuss and continue playing my girlfriend card? 

I chose the latter 

And now it’s on my shoulders to bear 

--- 

It was yet again an innocent question turned dirty 

“Do you still smoke?”

“Yes, only when I’m stressed or when we’re on bad terms” 

I started to wonder 

In the duration of our relationship 

We’ve only had <5 big fights 

So why does your hand smell like smoke 

On random days? 

You finally came clean about it 

And told me how you smoked every day after we went home 

Because it was a part of you you couldn’t change 

And a part of you that was real 

Everything else was a facade 

Even though at the beginning of our relationship 

I told you I needed you to stop 

You tried to hide that fact 

You tried to lie about it 

But you eventually told me the entire truth 

Nights were spent wondering 

Crying mostly 

Wishing that it would all go away 

But nobody can help me if I can’t help myself 

I didn’t want to let matters slide 

I tried to think of all the things that went well for us 

At some points it outweighed the negativity 

At some points the negativity gets to me 

I start to rage  

And a standard reply would be “I dont know what to say anymore” 

I wanted to believe that you’d quit but seeing the ig stories made me think so much 

And maybe too much I couldn’t contain my rage anymore 

Yet again 

I chose to kick up a big fuss and couldn’t let matters go 

I believed you could quit for me 

But I just didn’t believe it enough 

I was just too crazy at this point 

And I decided to let you go 

--- 

I let the negativity overcome me 

And ultimately us 

It was my fault that I landed us in this position 

The way I treated you when I was dealing with all this was horrible 

And you have to pay the price of being tired and stupid 

---

The Beginning of the End 

Mornings are going to be spent without cheeky morning texts and stickers 

Nights are going to be left without kisses and the 4 phrases you always say 

“Goodnight, sweet dreams, sleep tight, I love you.” 

Fridays would now be just fridays 

Sundays would now be just sundays 

I no longer look forward to them anymore 

No more facebook tags 

No more twitter tags 

No more commenting on my instagram photos

God, help me 

I let the most perfect boyfriend go 

You assured me enough 

I felt that the negativity was too much and your efforts were futile 

I let the most perfect boyfriend go 

You loved me so much 

And was willing to sacrifice so much time for me 

I must be crazy 

I feel so sick 

Literally nauseous 

My heart sinks so much when I think of you 

I long to be with you 

But I don’t deserve you anymore 

A person like me should never land someone like you 

You’d always say that I am out of your league 

And that’s only true because of the differences in our backgrounds 

Truth is 

You were the one out of my league 

You loved too much and I got too used to it 

You gave too much yet I expected more 

You tried too hard and I threw it all away 

I don’t deserve you anymore 

Your time is way too precious for me to stand in the way of your family and friends 

You are too good for me 

You should never have loved me 

And I never should have deserved you in the first place 

I wish you the very best 

I hope you find happiness in every way possible 

Even temporary happiness 

And that you’ll continue to be you 

To love and give as much as you do 

Because you deserve to be happy 

Appreciated and loved 

Your next girlfriend would be so, so lucky to have you 

I hope she cherishes you more than I did 

I’m glad I got to experience a part of you no one has before 

I’m glad we went through what we did 

The talks we had and the love we shared 

No one else can compare to us 

Now it will just be the beginning of the end 

We’ll find our peace 

I sincerely hope you’ll be happy. 

Love,  me