#and i thought it's all probably in vain but i tried. so today. he was in their class and actually doing pair work and reading stuff aloud

[disdaidal]

I don't want to brag or sound too optimistic about it, but after three weeks of training at a private college, I think my lessons with this one particular immigrant student (who has serious motivational problems lemme tell ya) are finally starting to get through and there's been improvement.

Only slight improvement so far but I have spotted some, so maybe not all hope is lost yet.

Remains to be seen I guess.

[honeydoor]

ㅤ ೀ⠀bright baby blue | jeno

ওㅤHe loves to spoil you, doll you up and in the end destroy you.

softdom! jeno x femreader, smut, dollification, very implicit age gap (but both of legal age), jeno likes to take photos, jeno was pp's first sexual experience (he took her virginity), dacryphillia (?), breeding kink, hypersensitivity, mild choking, squirt, 'princess', anything else???

a/n: this is from my main blog (@mrkspo) and it was originally in Portuguese but I wanted to bring this one here, it's one of my favorites, enjoy <333 (and sorry for any mistake)

Jeno loves when you wear pink, he loves seeing you in those expensive fabrics, with makeup that accentuates your doll face, with your full lips shiny with strawberry gloss.

He loves seeing you all dolled up, or rather, he loves dolling you up.

Get you all dressed up for him, put on you the brand new pink lingerie he bought for special moments — but it probably won't last more than two minutes —, put the bright baby blue eyeshadow on your eyelids and he'll give you a kiss on your red cheek of blush.

But after all this tidying up, he needs to give the basic finishing touches: making you look silly and of course, smearing your face a little with his cum. And during this process he will take so many photos of you that he will fill up another external hard drive.

He starts by speaking softly, saying he loves you and that you are so good to him that he wants to please you. He puts you sitting on the edge of the bed, takes your face and makes you look up; give you a little kiss on the tip of your nose, another on your eye, another on your mouth…

He goes down your neck, stops there and smells the sweet perfume you exude, heavens, he already feels soft just by that.

He lays you down on the bed, one of his big hands goes inside your lingerie panties, the other stops at your breast above your bra. He massages ypur clitoris at the same time as he squeezes your chest, you can't handle both stimulation, tears run down the side of his face and whimpers come out of his mouth, he tries to stop it, take Lee's hand out of your panties but it's in vain. Your back arches, your little fingers tighten on the sheet, you feel like you're going to explode.

– Is it good, princess? Tell me. – Jeno increases the speed of his fingers on your sensitive spot.

– Is... –

– Is that what hm?

He doesn't even have time to respond, you just lets out loud moans as you has your first — of many — orgasm of the night.

He gives you a kiss on your sweaty forehead, says you're fine. You still frown, catching your lost breath as he takes a photo of your condition.

Jeno doesn't let you rest, no, now he wants some affection too. He carefully removes your pieces that this time he had mercy, kisses your belly and asks if one day you will let him put a baby there, he doesn't answer, he doesn't even listen properly. Lee removes his belt and brings down his pants next to it, he almost forgets about his dress shirt but it will still be worn the next day, so he removes it carefully. You lift your head a little, see the dick there in your underwear, marking it, it looks so heavy.

– I… Can I suck you? – He asks with that innocent face.

– Not today pretty, I need to get inside your pussy.

And so he does, without prior warning, without you even realizing that he had taken off his underwear, he enters completely, taking advantage of the fact that you are very wet. The back and forth is constant, it makes a wet noise, and you squeeze it more than anything else.

– Even after breaking into you so much, you’re still tight. You still looks like the little virgin I knew.

His hand goes to your neck and presses there a little, you smile at the pressure while squeezing the peaks of your breasts. The speed of the thrusts increased, as did Lee's precision in hitting the right spot inside you, and every time he hit you let out a little scream. He thought it was so cute. You become even more sensitive, you can't stop crying from so much pleasure you were feeling, sweat runs down your forehead and Jeno's fingers return to your clitoris. And here you feel like you're going to explode again.

Jeno feels the squirt in his own abdomen, he smiles sweetly at you repeating how good you were to him. He comes out of you and takes the camera recording the moment, "the first squirt", that will definitely be the file name of this photo.

But it's not over yet, no, he hasn't cum yet. But for that he just needs to keep looking at you. Watch your chest rising and falling, your legs open and wet, your little hands slowly releasing the sheet... His dick gets hooked just by looking at you, so he wrap his hand around it and start at the base, from bottom to top. Then his hand starts to pick up pace, speed, he comes back on top of you and shoots a lot of cum in your face, smearing your makeup and snotting your mouth, but you don't care.

As long as he continued pampering you and fucking you he could even spit on you and you wouldn't complain.

[telail]

☆- [7:26 AM] Waking up with Wooyoung

Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Poc!Fem!Reader Tags: 1k wc, established relationship, fluff, suggestive, ateez scenario 🎧- PILLOWTALK by ZAYN note: a request for my pookie and current fave moot @kairoot hope u like it stinka. ^3^ - TAE

You had to move as slowly, and as quietly as possible.

That is if you didn't want to wake up the ticking time bomb next to you. Softly snoring with his mouth slightly agape, it looked as if he was in the deepest state of zen that an unconscious person could possibly be in.

But you knew better than to believe that. It was Wooyoung, for all you knew he’d crack his eyes open at the sound of a deep sigh. 

Your body had subconsciously woken you up without the help of an alarm about 40 minutes before you needed to head out for work.

Wooyoung lay still on his stomach, his head facing in your direction as his arm bent slightly above his head. Resting barley under your pillow but more so under his. 

You sat up and stretched, extending your limbs in the most subtle way possible in hopes that your boyfriend would not interrupt his own rest and wake up at the simple movement of your stretching.

Your hopes were in vain when just as you were about to relax your arms from their place above your head you felt warm slender fingers glide their way across the little portion of your slightly exposed tummy. Settling on the other side of your hip with a subtle squeeze.

The sensation of Wooyoung’s fingers tickled and caught you off guard a bit, causing you to jolt and bring your arms down in one quick motion.

“Morning baby..” He mumbles, a sleepy smirk making its way onto his face as he turned his head slightly away from you to yawn.

“Good morning, woo.” You respond, your tiredness still evident in your voice.

He hummed to himself, using the arm that had already secured itself around your waist to tug you closer to him.

“Hey..” You say, sighing. You were intending to start a sentence but when you moved to look at him you were met with Wooyoung’s tired yet love filled eyes. Making you cut yourself off just to admire his current appearance for a moment or two.

“Hi pretty.” He responded, grinning and resting his eyes shut for a little longer than a few seconds.

You thought he’d fallen asleep again, that is until when you went to move, his grip on you only tightened as he urged you to stay close to him.

“You work today?” He grumbled, opening his eyes to look at you once again. “I do.”

He whined at this, rolling himself over so that he was laying in your lap. He looked up at you, his plump bottom lip jutting out a little, he was pouting.

“Don't look at me like that, you know my schedule honey. I’ve gotta make money one way or another.” You said, running your free hand through his messy but layered blonde and black strands.

“You don't “gotta” make money, you just choose to. I make enough for the both of us and more.” He negotiated, peppering light kisses over the scape of your navel, grumbling about how he could afford to buy you whatever your pretty heart desired. He’d rubbed his hand under the cloth of your cami so that the lower portion of your belly was revealed to him. 

“Call out,” He said between kisses. “Tell them you’ve come down with something and can't make it.” 

You sighed, it wasn't often but every now and then Wooyoung would get a break in his schedule and would want to sleep in, but not without you.

“I can’t do that, I’m fine. If I stayed I'd probably end up staying in bed all day.” You said, a small smile making its way onto your face as you thought back to you and Wooyoung’s last lazy day where you’d stayed in bed and cuddled, made out, and watched dramas all day.

“What's wrong with that?” He asked, lifting one of his eyebrows slightly as his body relaxed against his will at the feeling of your fingers dancing around his scalp.

“Everything when I’m supposed to be working.” You huffed. You tried to make a quick escape and shimmy your way from under him but you weren't able to get more than both legs off the bed when he clung onto you like a sloth on a branch.

“You know..” he started, a pinch of mischief in his tone. “I could really give you a reason to stay in bed all day. If that’s what you’re lookin’ for.” You groaned, fighting back a smile as you rolled your eyes and maneuvered yourself out of his grip. “I am not.”

He laughed at your reaction, loosening his grip enough to let you finally get up but not before grabbing your wrist when you went to walk away.

He puckered his lips expectantly, normally you'd oblige with his silent request for a kiss but you’d just woken up not too long ago and felt the need to brush your teeth more than anything.

You blew him an air kiss watching as his face contorted into that of disapproval. 

“I need to brush my teeth.” You said, suppressing a giggle at his offended expression.

“On my cheek then.” He said turning his cheek towards you, still a little puffy considering the fact that he’d just woken up.

You shook your head before leaning in to peck him on what you thought was gonna be his cheek before he turned his head at the last moment to meet your lips with his.

“Woo-” you went to protest and pull away but his hand had come up to the back of your head to gently hold you in place as he planted 2 more kisses on your lips then a third on your cheek. 

He pulled back with a proud grin, licking his lips as he watched you walk towards your shared bathroom, mumbling about him being gross.

“Love you too baby.” He said, stretching his own limbs and sitting up, preparing to mess with you throughout your entire morning routine until you eventually would leave him without you for a few hours.

He didn’t mind though, as long as you came back to him so that he could do it all over again.

excuse any mistakes ;P

[haikyu-mp4]

Media presence, part 3

word count; 1526 – gn!reader, final part of the mini series

go read part 1 and part 2 first for the best experience

You were tapping your foot under the desk like a bunny, lips pursed as you tried to choose who to talk to first. Your eyes settled on Hinata. “Sweetie,” you started, and he nodded eagerly as if he awaited praise. “You don’t have to do everything Atsumu and Bokuto do.”

Hinata visibly deflated, but puffed out his chest to put on a brave front. “Yes, boss,” he said, and it brought forth a small smile because you did like it when they called you that.

“Imagine how much you could have earned if Calvin Klein was the one asking you to do it. Now it’s just out there for everyone.” you kept saying, visibly frustrated. Once again, Sakusa was thankful that you couldn’t see the smile behind his mask as he watched you from the side.

You turned your attention to Bokuto and Atsumu, who were so perfectly placed in the middle of the four, both wearing very guilty smiles.

“It’s not about posting thirst traps, obviously hot guys draw attention,” you said and just missed the way Sakusa’s nose scrunched. You gritted your teeth, breathing through them as you stared at the angry message from one of your bosses that was open on your computer screen. “It’s the fact that Black Jackals has taken in four younger players and three of them are doing a flexing competition on social media like they’re 17 years old,” you said, definitely rambling at this point.

Did I forget to explain what happened? If it’s not obvious already, all three of your problem children posted shirtless thirst traps on their stories last weekend and hashtagged it with HottestMSBYJackal, and then Atsumu posted another one with a poll on it so people could vote between the three. While they gained a lot of younger followers from the stunt, your bosses were not happy as older fans of the team found them to be way too vain and busy with their bodies, and not focused enough on the sport or whatever. What you felt about it was irrelevant. Caring about what everyone else thought about them was your job.

Bokuto pouted and nodded, not understanding what he did wrong but still not liking your tone. “Sorry, boss.”

“I’m letting you off with a warning, just please think twice before posting stuff. Be normal,” you begged them, shooing your hand as a hint for them to wrap up the meeting.

Atsumu must have put some extra audacity in his smoothie this morning because he seemed to let the whole thing fall off his shoulders when you said they just got a warning. “I need to ask you something first, it’s important.”

“Let’s just go,” Sakusa said. He was trying to herd them outside without touching them, which always proved equally difficult. Perhaps he had an inkling about his teammate’s question.

“Which one would you vote for?” Atsumu asked, a toothy grin growing on his face that usually did great for advertisement. You sighed. They probably expected you not to answer.

“Sakusa,” you said, which made all three start yelling for different reasons. He was your favourite today after not participating, knowing that if he tried to stop them it wouldn’t have worked anyway. You covered your ears, regretting answering immediately.

“Quiet down, this isn’t a playground! Let’s go.” Sakusa commanded, this time with a sternness that made the others kick into gear.

“Keep your shirts on, thank you.” They were all on their way out, Bokuto and Atsumu hanging with their heads like wounded puppies who startled once you spoke again. “Not you, Sakusa.”

“Not keep my shirt on, or?” he asked, that Atsumu-coded smirk ringing from his voice.

“Don’t test me, sit back down,” you said, and he shrugged before following your orders. The other jackals had turned around and were looking between you two curiously until Sakusa closed the door in their faces. He sat down and excused them for being so loud, which you brushed off.

The bosses had instructed you to scold all of them, even though you insisted Sakusa was not part of it. Those old men only saw how everyone referred to the MSBY four online.

Honestly, you had no idea why you asked him to stay, so you had to pull something out of your ass real quick. Your mind was racing with all the things you had to do because even though this wasn’t the biggest scandal, it still came on top of everything you usually did. So instead of lying, you rested your head in your hands for a second. “I’m not sure why I asked you to come back inside.” It wasn’t some grand confession, but just that made it feel like a tiny butterfly was fluttering its wings in Sakusa’s belly. He was so pleased that he wasn’t sure what to say, choosing instead to scoot his chair closer to the desk and wait for you to unbury your face again. You eventually did, resting your chin on your hand instead. “Did you think about my suggestion yet?”

“Yes.”

You smiled, nodding your head as he once again gave you one-word answers. Feeling like there was too little air in the room now, you went to open the window. That might soothe your headache. “Once again, the quality of your answers rock my world,” you said sarcastically.

Sakusa hesitated for a moment before speaking up again. “You do a great job,” he said just as you sat back down. For what felt like the first time that day, you really let your eyes settle on him. His hair was a little extra nice that day, in your opinion. You liked it when it was more messy, not picture perfect. Behind the hair, you could still see how his eyebrows were drawn together. More than usual, you’d say.

If you were honest, you would have told him you didn’t always feel like you did great. That you felt like it was so difficult to understand who you were supposed to cater to when everyone had a different opinion and kept expecting you to bounce back every time you met a new challenge. Because you were so good at your job, that came with expectations.

However, your relationship with Sakusa wasn’t like that, so instead your eyes teared up a bit and you whispered a weak “Thank you”.

He nodded but desperately wished you were close enough that he could ask you to tell him everything. To rest your head on his shoulder and hug you until the pain went away. But he knew he had to go back to practice any minute now, and you two would stay an unspoken thing.

You might have only started looking at him now, but he had practically been staring at you since the second he and his teammates came into that office. “I’m sure those idiots will charm everyone with time,” he said, an added assurance he didn’t usually give anyone else. “I’ve seen Bokuto practising his Bokuto Beam, lately.”

“You’re right,” you said. The Bokuto reference did make you laugh and quickly wipe at one eye where a tear threatened to fall from the pressure. It had been a long day. “I’m just glad you didn’t join them, imagine you finally started posting and I had to yell at you.” Sure, you would love a shirtless photo of Sakusa, but your job came first.

“Mm.” He cringed at the thought, hands stuffed in the pockets of his training jacket. After a beat of silence, Sakusa’s frown slowly loosened up. He was glad he could make you laugh a bit, that wasn’t usually his strong suit. “Anything else?”

“No, you can go,” you sighed. “They need you.” He nodded and silently got up, wondering if he should say something more. But he didn’t, he just left. It left you staring at the door, sighing deeply as you realised your predicament. You felt something special for Sakusa Kiyoomi.

As Sakusa got home and settled into his sofa after he was freshly showered, he unlocked his phone and opened messages. He wrote a message, deleted it, and then repeated this a few more times before switching to Instagram. There, he opened the story camera and angled it to show a small part of his pristine living room where the last lick of the sun was shining across the floor. Imagine you finally started posting, were the words that rang in his ears.

The picture he took was nice enough, and he added “Good evening.” in white before spending a while choosing the font he liked. He even added a calm song he heard the other day and grew to like.

After it was posted, the likes flooded in, but he turned on silent mode and switched back to messages. He wondered if seeing the story would make you do another victory dance. Once again, he opened your contact and wrote, deciding to finally send it.

What are you doing for lunch tomorrow?

You: Probably eat

Sakusa rolled his eyes yet smiled affectionately. Eat with me.

You: Okay:)

You: I look forward to it

No more 'unspoken thing'.

part 1 ║ part 2 ║ part 3 (final part) ║ headcanons ║ masterlist

[justwonder113]

Head over heels - Lee Know

part 2

Warning: Mentions of drinking, Minho is a bit tipsy but he's sober by the end of it. Rader is getting hit on by some weird dude. Slightly suggestive at the end. Minho is staring at the reader's chest. GN reader. Not proofread. Please tell me if I missed anything

Word count -1.8k

Masterlist

A/N- I'm finally back!! Thankfully I got over the virus and more than dedicated to write as much as I can. I have many ideas and can't wait to write all of them. Thank you for all the love and support you've given me it truly means the world to me. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated. If you have any requests too feel free to do so. Take care of yourselves, love you all❤️

When is the right time to say that you're head over heels in love with someone? Perhaps when they do something really romantic and/or selfless. Something probably really kind and generous, something really cool... Probably not when they are dazed from having a bit too much to drink and look like they are about to fall asleep any given second now, right? Yup, you were definitely weird, probably the main reason you and Minho clicked this well. Okay in your defense you knew you were smitten with him for a while obviously, who wouldn't fall for him? it just downed on you though how down bad you actually were.

Really though. To think that you would realize that you're in love with your best friend when his like anywhere but this world is beyond crazy, even for you.

"Pretty boy do you want me to bring you some water?" You asked after seeing him blink slowly yet another time. You were at this club Hyunjin had invited you at. The music was blasting on the full volume and everyone was having the time of their life, well maybe except you and Minho. Normally you would be also be having fun with your friends but now everything felt a bit dull. Maybe because you didn't drink anything. You had bad flu earlier and you just didn't feel like drinking today. As for Minho, normally the drinks didn't get to him that easily, but he wad been overworking himself a lot lately and due to the fatigue even such small amount of alcohol as two or three shots got to him pretty easily.

Minho looked at you with dazed eyes for a second or two, as if trying to gather his thoughts. Something glimmered in his already sparkly eyes and he gave you a small smile. God, he looked so squishy and cute like this you wanted to pinch his cheeks. Not that you would, he had this tough persona to keep. Also not to sound weird but you didn't want others to notice how cute he was. Let's just say you wanted to gatekeep him for yourself.

After Minho gave you a small nod you got up and headed to the bar. There were a lot of people in line so you would probably have to wait quite a while to get something as simple as glass of water. You texted Minho that this could take a minute or two and started waiting for your turn. Meanwhile from the corner of your eye you saw someone shamelessly check you out, like, could they be any more obvious about it? You prayed that he wouldn't approach you while you also crossed your fingers for the bartender to hurry up. You decided to ignore it. You didn't see anything.

Unfortunately your prayers hadn't been answered, the sleazy man decided to approach you, honestly the audacity some people had. You tried to keep your distance but it was all in vain. The man stood in front of you now. He even made a show of slowly checking you out. God what a pig. You really tried your best to compose yourself, you really didn't need to make a scene now.

"Hello. Gorgeous can I buy you a drink?" God even his voice was so annoying. You reminded yourself that you needed to keep calm. With the most polite voice you could muster you answered that you were good and that you were with someone. But the dude still kept pestering, making your blood boil even more. Who the hell did he think he was? You had enough of this, you were about to warn him that you would call the security on him, when hands wrapped around you. You stiffened for a second, but relaxed when you noticed that it was Minho. The strange man grumbled. "Shit, boyfriend of yours?"

Minho answered before you could, his hands tight around your waist, his glare cold as ice. "Yes, now fuck off." The man was about to argue but Minho's death glare shut him up quickly. The man slithered away to disturb someone else you guessed. You noticed to yourself to nitify security about him. He seemed shady.

You turned your full attention to Minho, who kept hugging you and now had rested his head on your shoulder. He still felt sleepy you guessed. "You took too long." He grumbled after a few seconds of silence. You turned your head and kissed the top oh his head. Minho grunted again. "Sorry pretty boy. Let's get you that water." You took a step towards the bar but Minho stopped you.

"Don't want it anymore."

You fully turned to Minho and started closely examining him, his face was unreadable though.

"Hey, how are you? Are you okay?"

"Just tired. Can I stay at yours?" You thought for a minute jokingly which Minho didn't really appreciate which he showed by softly pinching your side. Really, what was up with him being all cute today? You couldn't help yourself and you gave him a little peck on his cheek.

"Sure." Minho didn't say something, and you couldn't read anything on his face. He held his hand towards you and after you held it he started leading you to others so that you could say your goodbyes.

The walk to your house wasn't long. You appreciated the comfortable silence between you two. It was peaceful. You also loved how extra protective Minho was over you, he didn't let go of your hand whole way. Your heart felt like it would burst from joy.

You sighed in relief once you walked into the safehold of your house. It felt so good to be home. Like the two youthful people you were you immediately started getting ready for bed. You of course on top that pestered Minho to drink plenty of water before going to sleep. You didn't want him to wake up with a hangover. Surprisingly he was being obedient. You also couldn't help but admit that sleepy Minho was absolutely adorable. To you he just looked so soft and squishy all you wanted to do was to cover his whole face with kisses. And from the way how whiny he was, telling you that you should hurry up already and come to him he would most likely let you.

You didn't know when you crossed the boundary between being friends and well something more, but here you were now. You were always touchy with each other and flirting was a regular occurrence too, you didn't know when these playful banters became meaningful and made your heart flutter, you didn't really know when did you get so extra affectionate but you loved it if it meant that maybe you two could become something more.

You tried to get ready for bed as fast as possible, but the chains you had worn today didn't really let you. They managed to get stuck and you didn't really feel like going to sleep in them. So you turned to Minho who laid across on your bed. Diagonally like a sweet person he was. He had changed into the sweats and oversized shirt he had left at your house, but as it seemed he got lazy to get under the covers. "Min can you help me with these?" You asked sweetly as possible. Minho didn't answer and you thought that he fell asleep again laying diagonally on your bed, but he got up after a couple of seconds. He looked at you with unimpressed eyes waiting for you to ask what you wanted. You motioned towards your bundled up chains. Minho grumbled again but immediately started working on it.

The chains were more tangled up than you could imagine. Minho kept grumbling about how he should just snap them but still kept diligently working through every knot. You had no idea how did they get so tangled up on your neck. You got curious on what was taking so long and looked down and only when did you notice that upper buttons were open and you were showing quite a decent amount of cleavage. You felt shy for a second but then as if on cue you noticed how Minho's eyes kept shifting down towards your exposed skin. Let's just say it was a nice ego boost. Subtly as possible you even straightened up a little so you could show off your assets better. You didn't know if Minho knew you did that on purpose but his eyes sure did appreciate the sight. You didn't even realize you were staring at him, before he looked up and your eyes met. Suddenly you felt lost at words. How was he so gorgeous? You could use every word in dictionary and still it wouldn't be able to fully express his beauty. You wondered for a second if he was aware just what he did to you. God, you could just stare at him for hours.

"I did it." He spoke calmly as he placed your chain on your hands. "I think I know how you should thank me." Was it you or was he really close? You could even feel his breath on your skin. Your eyes couldn't help but shift from his eyes down to his pretty lips. What were you even doing? Minho noticed your wandering eyes, his gaze also shifted down to your lips.

His finger touched under your chin and slowly lifted your face so that you were eye to eye again.

"What do you have in mind?" You found your voice after a few long seconds of being rendered speechless.

"I want to kiss you so bad." Minho's confession sent shivers down your spine. Good thing that you were sitting on your bed, you felt like you would fall otherwise. You felt like fanning yourself, your whole body felt so hot.

"What's stopping you then?" You quipped back, he was so close now with each breath your lips slightly grazed each other.

"Nothing." His voice was raw with emotion. You didn't even get to say anything, his lips were on you in matter of milliseconds. The kiss was raw, passionate. It ignited you, you felt alive now that you had the taste of his lips. It was everything and so much more, it was like he tried to convey his feelings with this kiss.

Guess you were not the only one head over heels for the other.

[4doras]

ADDICTION ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

you’re addicted to this one coffee shop, but you’re never getting any coffee. ⊹♡

ricky x reader | enemies (?) to lovers

genre. fluff (lowercase intended)

wc. 1.4k

a/n. finally wrote something for ricky!! i hope you guys like this ~ also warning for slight swearing

you never really liked coffee, but you found yourself continuing to go to a coffee shop. maybe it was the atmosphere, or the smell of the coffee brewing, or the guy that came everyday. it was probably the last one. he was well dressed, his hair was perfectly styled, he was the perfect man.

for a change of heart, you decided to buy a coffee today. you ordered an iced americano, you liked the bitter taste of the coffee, especially when it lingered on your tongue after. “order for y/n!” the cashier called out. you walked up to the register and grabbed your coffee, on your way to leave. but to your disappointment, the coffee was flying out of your grasp before you could even take a sip. “shit! i'm so sorry.” you apologized before looking up to see the love of your life. “are you serious…” you heard him mumble in a low tone. “i’m so sorry, oh my god.” your coffee was splashed all over his white shirt, now staining it brown. “i can do something for you.” you tried to make the situation better. “you’ve done enough, already.” he sighed. clearly, your attempt hadn’t worked. you walked out of the store, leaving without a drink.

more under the cut!

“i thought you were getting a drink?” gyuvin asked you, staring at you dumbfounded as you held nothing in your hands. “i bumped into a guy and it spilled all over him.” you got comfortable in your seat, sulking without a drink. “funny, my friend got a drink spilled on him. but he said the person was pretty, so i guess it’s not you.” he teased you, trying to make the conversation more happy. “oh, shut up, gyuvin!” you pushed his shoulder.

this small interaction didn't stop you from coming everyday, even if that meant seeing the guy you spilled your coffee on. maybe you were drunk in love from his good looks. what you didn’t expect was gyuvin walking in with the guy. “oh, y/n!” gyuvins lanky arm shot up, waving his arm in the air. he and his friend waddled over to your little table.

“why's it so… tense?” gyuvin asked. “she spilled her coffee on me that day.” ricky flatly said. “hey, look at that! i should order the drinks.” gyuvin smiled, leaving you and the mystery man alone. “you think i'm pretty?” you immediately started. “of course gyuvin told you that.” he rolled his eyes. “well?” you weren’t going to shut up until you got an answer. “i thought you were pretty before you chucked your drink on me, yeah.” he admitted. “i didn't do it on purpose!” you fought, “you bumped into me, if anything.” you crossed your arms, laying back into your chair. “enough fighting!” gyuvin cut the two of you off before a fight broke out. “anyway, y/n, this is ricky, ricky, this is y/n. you two will be good friends.” gyuvin took you and ricky’s hand, holding them together, and shaking them, imitating you two shaking hands.

ricky was weird. how could he look so cold, and dark, but love such cute things? a man like him doesn’t fit the image of ordering strawberry drinks whenever the option was available. he quietly sipped on his strawberry smoothie, as he listened to you and gyuvin talk, his eyes diverting to whoever was taking. you picked out all these small habits ricky had. but it wasn’t to say that he didn't hate you. whenever you and him were left by gyuvin, his whole personality seemed to change. with gyuvin, he seemed cuter and smiley, with you, he became quiet and reserved.

the things ricky did to tick you off, was in vain. it didn't stop you from coming everyday to see him, even if that meant he would only roll his eyes at you. at least it was something.

the cafe was filling up by the minute, luckily you came early in the morning. ricky walked in with gyuvin, and looked around for an empty table. after taking a glance around, they quickly realized there were none left expect from your table. “can we sit here? please!” gyuvin said in a sing-song voice. “yeah, come sit here.” you patted the seat next to you, signaling for gyuvin to come sit next to you. but instead of gyuvin who was supposed to be beside you, ricky snatched the seat before gyuvin could even walk to your side of the table. gyuvin looked at you with raised eyebrows, “me or ricky?” you weren’t sure who you wanted to sit next to you, but either way, you didn't mind. “i don’t mind you both, you guys can pick.” you left the option to them. “i wanna sit next to y/n.” ricky said, looking at gyuvin as though he should’ve known. “okay, okay.” gyuvin put his hands up like he committed a crime.

it was fate that you coincidentally brought a few strawberry candies with you today. you reached into your bag and fished for the pieces, and passed them to ricky. ricky took them from your hand without saying anything, and popped one into his mouth. like the investigator gyuvin was, he had to ask another question about you and ricky. “since when were you two so close?” he cocked his head to the side, crossed his legs and sat up straight as if he was ready to hear a story. in sync, you and ricky looked at each other and shrugged. you weren’t really sure why you and ricky had become more closer with each other, but it just happened with time. seeing one another became a daily routine, plus, you couldn’t escape each other by going to the same cafe everyday. you may as well gain a new friendship.

once ricky and gyuvin finished their business, they got up and started to pack away their stuff back into their bags. “bye y/n.” gyuvin said, walking away with ricky. “bye y/n!” ricky smiled and waved, looking back at you as he got dragged away by gyuvin. “what are you being so happy for?” you could hear gyuvin say as he left the store.

your small greetings with ricky grew into small talks, that turned into going out with each other outside of the cafe, which became to going to each other's houses. it was such a frequent occurrence that ricky spent more time with you than gyuvin.

“what’s up with you and ricky?” gyuvin plopped himself on your couch. gyuvin decided to invite himself over to your house and talk to you about ricky. “what d’you mean ‘me and ricky’?” you asked. “i mean you two are really close all of a sudden, i thought he hated you because of the whole coffee incident. i thought you hated him too, y’know? mutual hatred or something.” “i dont hate him, i mean, i did because he kept blaming me for the coffee but i don't anymore. he's really cute in a way, i guess i didn't expect it.” you admitted. “why?” “hes so… i dont know, he didn't fit that sort of image in the start.” “so you think he’s hot? and his personality was cute?” gyuvin said bluntly. “babe?” the voice came from your room. a messed up hair ricky came out of the room looking for you. once you saw him you quickly got up and ran to him, closing the door behind you two. you completely forgot your boyfriend was sleeping in the other room.

i felt like being in the principal's room. you and ricky sat next to each other, with gyuvin on the other side, asking question. “well, i suppose if he makes you happy, im happy. both of you.” even though gyuvin seemed happy, he was still sulking. “i'm still upset you guys kept it from me.” “it's not my fault, ricky wanted to keep it a secret.” you said, putting ricky on the spot. “i didn’t want gyuvin to tease me, it’s his fault.” ricky pointed at gyuvin, turning the whole situation into a who-did-it.

you giggled as you watched the two guys fight over who’s fault it was. gyuvin making huge movements to emphasize his point and ricky using his whiny voice to persuade you did nothing but make you love him even more. you wrapped your arms around ricky, giving him a small peck on the cheek. “ugh! not in front of me.” gyuvin gagged. ricky softly kissed you for good measure, or, to piss gyuvin off.

who would’ve known the guy you would look for everyday would become yours?

[zepskies]

Okay, I loved the reader smacking Ben's ass, so can we do an uno reverse of the situation, but lmao it would probably not end well because knowing Ben it probably would've been done during a terribly inappropriate time like a meeting or something, also I know that you didn't explicitly say it was BMD ben and reader but I did read it as such, lmao - salvadoreña anon (lmao it feels a little weird to call myself that because Im also desi lol)

Hello my Latina Lovely! 😘 (Wow! Love that you're also Desi. ❤️)

Aw, hell, you done uno-reversed me…

See this imagine for context: Repaying Soldier Boy for a job well done.

(And yes, I had Break Me Down-verse SB x Reader in my head writing that one as well lol. They're ingrained in me. 😂)

Word Count: 350

Imagine: Ben gets a little payback.  

Your heels clacked on the tile floor brusquely as you made your way back to your office, over in Surveillance. You carried a stack of paperwork that had to be sorted through—and on Grace Mallory’s desk by end of day today.

Your hair was falling out of its loosening bun, and you tried in vain to blow a piece of it out of your face. The elevator on the opposite end of the hall dinged. The doors opened, and out came your boyfriend, strutting into the hall in his supe suit.

You smiled. “Wow, that was quick. You caught Metallo?”

“Being booked with bendy straws for arms as we speak,” Ben replied with a cocky smile. He headed toward you down the hall. “Gonna grab a bite to eat. Care to join?”

You raised a brow at bendy straws for arms. He really needed to work on how badly he roughed up these supes when bringing them into custody.

“Can’t right now,” you said, gesturing with your eyes to your workload. “But I’ll let you know when I’m ready to head home, if you want to wait for me.”

While you spoke, Ben was busy taking in your white blouse, the dark red lipstick, the pencil skirt, the sexy little heels. It was straight out of one of his fantasies…

Maybe you’d be down for a round of sexcretary after work. His lips curved at the thought.

But then, he remembered how you’d got him to accidentally shatter a nice crystal wine glass the other night, and it got him contemplating some retribution.

“All right. See you then, baby doll,” he said mildly.

When he finally reached you, he gave you a nice smack on the ass as he passed by.

You jolted with a wide-eyed yelp. Ben smirked at the sound.

He’d gotten you with a little more force than he thought though, as it made you lose your grip on your files. They flew from your hands and scattered onto the floor.

You twisted back to meet him with a glare. Ben’s hand clenched and curled back…

Then he gave you a sly grin.

“Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it?”  

AN: So I don't typically post two new fics within the same day (sorry for the spam), but this one was short and essentially a sequel to the other imagine lol. (And my weird brain doesn't like a packed drafts folder. 😉)

I have at least one more SB imagine coming this week. I got a ton of requests this weekend, so thank you all! I really am so flattered. 🥰🥰

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[rosedere]

Flames of deception

(Rollo Flamme x Fem! Reader)

CW: implied noncon, implied stalking, Drugging, writer did not play Glomas-

-

“You aren't at all who you say you are (Name)”

 Facing the antique fireplace, you didn't turn around towards him, merely focusing on the embers shooting to life in the fireplace, illuminating the dark winter sky outside.

“What if I wasn't anyway?” You simply slipped out, rolling your eyes.

"Are you going to tell my parents or what?”

Rollo only watched you, his eyes illuminated by the fiery embers of the coals.

His eyes were on you like a target meets an arrow.

Rollo stayed looking at you with silent judgment. Good, you hated being bossed around by him anyway, only being chosen to be apart of the student council because of your unique lack of ties to twisted wonderland. It seemed they had to pick you for being so unique, as the council put it.

At least you could go back to being invisible.

 “I find it most entertaining,” he chuckled, still sitting firmly in his armchair before him in the cavernous room.

“You (name) the unmagical prefect with a secret,” he grabbed his colored handkerchief promptly moving it in front of his mouth.

“I never kept anything a secret anyway,” 

“You just never asked,” you shrugged, keeping your hands clasped in front of your uniform.

The silence befell the room once more.

 ”Why so much anger (name)”

He leaned in, seeming like he was going to get up from his seat.

But instead of hearing his feet firmly stand up on the ancient mahogany wood beneath him, you felt his hands reach your hips.

stiffening, you only turned to the side to then feel the bottom of your robe lift up abruptly.

”Just as I thought,” he began to tsk; You only tried to pick up your now exposed underwear, only for Rollo to swat your hands away.

”You fucking pervert; get your hands off of me,” you yelled.

You were about to slap his wrist when you felt the smoldering heat radiating from his hands.

Pulling back with haste, your hand closest to the hand using fire magic was convulsing, trying to fan the now-burn blossoming on your tender skin.

Rollo only smiled up towards you, his expression contorting into a sunken darkness.

”So, on top of using foul language, the intel I’ve received might also be true about you,” he shook his head back and forth with a nasty glare of judgment.

”Unless, when I take your very feminine-looking underwear off, I see you told me the truth, then I will only reduce your punishment for doubting you.” His fingers began to curl under the waistband of your underwear.

You mentally cursed yourself for not wearing your boxers today; every damn day you wore those things, but you woke up later than usual.

“Well? Not even trying to fight the allegations before you.”

 He gripped the top of your underwear.

”Maybe you secretly get a thrill thinking about me looking at your bare fruit.”

He only snickered as the blush grew on your face as you tried, in vain, to pull your robe over your thighs.

 ”hoping someone comes in to see you so exposed; the magic-less prefect of Nobel College.”

 "S-stop,” you finally snapped; you didn't care who he was anymore.

You kicked behind you blindly, aiming for his seated knee, causing a blowback between the two of you. 

 Eyes stunned, he looked up at you, but you didn't stay long enough for him to say anything, bolting past him into the hallways, covering yourself once more.

Coming to the barren hallway with the antique decor and brown wooden walls, you finally caught your breath.

He wouldn't be crazy enough to follow you, possibly…

Looking around, you didn't see any student council members in the area at all. You pondered to yourself, assuming he had probably sent them away for the evening since it was the winter break anyway.

Only you and him remained strangely enough.

Shaking your head, you went down the isolated staircase you’d taken many times. The polished wooden steps leading down to a secluded courtyard at the bottom were your destination.

or what should have been where you ended up.

You didn't miss your step; you felt your foot land on the third step to the landing in the chambered staircase.

But the next minute, you felt someone grab you from your side.

It was supposed to be impossible. There was a wall there.

but unbeknownst to you in your time at Nobel Bell College The school council president had extensive knowledge of all the corridors and passageways that had been in the school before Fluer City was founded.

Fighting in desperation, you were no match for the person in the wall as you felt your mouth become covered with a handkerchief. You tried to claw into the thick material draped around his forearm to let go, but this only led to a fiercer fight as he pressed the handkerchief into your face. 

The smell coming off of it was putrid as you tried your best to resist inhaling and taking shallow breaths, but unfortunately you succumbed to the smell.

You just felt a horrible wave of drowsiness overcome your eyes.

Your limbs went weak, and your tongue was numb within your mouth, unable to protest anymore. You only felt yourself being carried back up the horrid stairs you had just come down from below.

 

-

 

Rollo knew from the start you were a female.

The hesitancy to strip for gym class in front of the others because you were “too embarrassed” by a scar you had on your chest.

The few times he did see you wear your robes tighter, he could see the volumptious form your hips had as you swayed, going back and forth  carrying on with duties in the council room.

He was already quite fond of you, already seemingly docile like he was, keeping to yourself in the side courtyard beyond the statue of the righteous judge.

 And, of course, having no filthy magic in your blood.

It was just a bonus when he found out you were female.

He only knew since he waited patiently behind a statue in the walls of the dressing room for athletics.

He heard you walk in his breath, baited in anticipation, as he saw you look around to be sure no one was around.

After a couple of seconds, you carefully took your hair down from under your hat, followed by unbuttoning and shifting your robes.

The finale, he thought.

He hoped his observations were right; to be wedded to a magicless being would be his dream come true.

Submissive and ready to start a family with him to begin his purification.

his eyes lingering on your chest as you finally reached the last layer of your uniform.

And, of course, a plain binder and laced corset were what he was greeted with.

 Your chest carefully wrapped underneath it, saddened that there wasn't more underneath. He got his wish when he saw you strip your lower robes.

You wore laced underwear, which is only seen in the most famous boutiques in the city.

It seemed you wanted to look cute sometimes, he thought to himself with a smile.

In that moment, he had decided to betray his values.

Why tell everyone the magicless prefect was a girl? They would all salivate over you, and he’d never have a chance to be with the one he knew was the key to purifying the magic from twisted wonderland.

He knew he had until winter break to convince you to be his.

but it was clear you weren't interested in any of that. Yet.

”I'm sorry it had to be this way (Name)”

Rollo stood over your unconscious self as you lay against a wooden pillar in the beloved clock tower.

bounded in scarlet ropes against the worn pillar, he began to undress you as he had when you were in that room all those months ago.

Carefully peeling your numerous layers on top of your torso, finally reaching your tender, exposed chest, he undid your binder and corset.

Your plumb breast being exposed to him; it was unbelievable, he was able to see your symbol of being a woman.

He told himself it wasn't weird to stare, as you would be his bride soon.

but he had to feel you.

He reached for your slowly rising chest as he felt your squishy mound underneath his palm.

It was heaven.

 Too heavenly.

A touch became a squeeze, a squeeze turned into a kiss, and eventually you were completely naked as Rollo began to let his hands wander.

After an hour of coitus together, he realized what he had done.

 laid underneath a blanket he had brought, still bare and unconscious.

He only laid beside you in the cold tower, heaving from the energy it took him.

But it was okay, he told himself he knew you wanted this.

You were just as lonely as him in this world. No one understood you as much as Rollo flamme did.

Suddenly, he heard you mumble.

 It seems someone was awake.

 -

Note: btw I wasnt lying literally only know Rollo is based off my favorite disney movie 😭

Btw Requested by: Sallade on AO3 <3

[eulogium-red]

i'd like to see more of the theme of "family" in overwatch. we see it a lot with ana & fareeha, ram & zen, brig/torb/rein/bastion, genji & hanzo. but those are the obvious ones between playable characters. the ones that are much more clearly written on the wall, even once-in-a-blue-moon players could pick up on. much else is hardly focused on despite how much family (or a lack thereof) has shaped many of the character's lives & identities for better or for worse

i don't like how martina & the unnamed reyes kid are only mentioned in passing, despite gabriel himself visiting often unannounced. clearly they were an important part of his life. clearly, family is an important part of his life — i'm very willing to wager that small passage about the death of his parents in declassified was written very intentionally. his complicated relationship with death, and how it was further affected by his own "death," & how he's now in some warped reversed position with his new family. but we don't get much more than a few voice lines about martina (is she even mentioned by name in-game orrr am i not remembering?)

i want to see how ashe manages the gang throughout the second omnic crisis. or perhaps we could see her mannerisms slightly change with bob. maybe instead of standing side-by-side with him as she is in the reunion cinematic, she puts herself more between him & potential unrealised threats. or maybe she subtly tries to nudge him under awnings whenever she spots ufos, weary they're housing subjugators — little things that are very intentional. maybe her demeanor tilts ever so slightly from confident but guarded, to guarded but confident.

i want to get a better picture of the role sam english played in fareeha's life just from playing the game, especially after ana's presumed death. i want to know more about their relationship other than the christmas dinner they had. i wonder how many players just assume fareeha's father died young, or assume the writers didn't care to write one at all? for a long time, i thought the former. i wonder what sam thinks of some of fareeha's closest friends — has he met cole & angela? what does he think of helix? we hardly even see fareeha's native heritage expressed other than the two skins off the top of my head

what about cassidy & echo? i know this is a more implied one, but cassidy was the first one to nurture her "childlike intelligence." even today, he guides her — he encouraged her to help winston&co at paris when he was still on the fence. one of the cutest things for me is her enthusiastically shouting "hello winston!" mid-battle, presumably not long after cassidy told her to say hi. she probably would've either way, but i also don't want to discredit the role cassidy has had on her development & i really do want to see more of them

or, speak of the devil, how winston views everyone at overwatch as family. how in watchpoint: gibraltar's 1st defense spawn, you can see the little beds he set up for lena and mei, how you can read an email as proof he got the blankets from a small kids blanket business. the way he keeps photos of the gang, years later. how vehemently protective he was of all their locations. i wish we could see it reciprocated a little more, i wish we could see individual sleeping areas for other heroes as the story progresses, or more items on his desk. & that's not even getting into hammond

& i don't think i can have a family post without mentioning dad 76 or how i desperately want to see benicio being the best supportive dad for lúcio more but honestly i'm getting pretty sleepy so either i'll add more later or someone can add more.

depending how you stretch the definition of family here, it can include other dynamics too. baptiste finding a new sense of belonging in the new overwatch, or mei braving the antarctic to not let her team's death go in vain & to help people who can still be helped — from jiayi and her team still on mars, to the people who now need her help on earth. i'd also argue hana's squad in korea. what are niran's siblings up to? are we gonna see more of efi & orisa? moreover, how are all these non-playable side character characters handling the invasion? i guess we got some texts between lena and emily

family is such a powerful motivator, but can also be really complicated, as seen with the amaris and shimadas + kiriko, i wish we got a similar amount of investment some other places too

a major theme of overwatch is moving towards the future, progressing in some way. & that looks different for everyone depending on their emotional readiness to do that, and what they view "progression" as. so it makes sense a lot of characters don't look back on those they lost along the way so much, at least not too openly (zarya comes to mind), but that's what can make their present relationships with others that much more worth preserving & seeing

probably an impossible ask of a game feeling the effects of layoffs that's primarily focused on pvp/bp/shop items but ykn

thank u for coming to my tedtalk

[alchemyfire]

My old writings for Antoine

About twenty years ago, I wrote some texts and poems for Robespierre and Saint-Just when I first realized my obsession. Recently I found them in my notes about revolution, so why not to share a few? (Just so you know, they were written in Czech originally, so the translation probably doesn't sound that great.)

Your hair fell to the floor like so many others before it; noiseless, so quiet… The only sound now is your breathing, which you try in vain to muffle so as not to disturb the glorious silence. In no time, the reckless shouting of the crowd will destroy this moment of peace, seeping into your last thoughts. What will happen now to the beautiful dream you tried to make come true? Your life doesn't matter to you and maybe it never did, but the Republic must live… You did what you had to do and now your short years have come to an end. You don't care, you don't regret it. You didn't feel sorry for anyone, least of all for yourself. Only once did your eyes water with tenderness, when you saw red blood on his face. That's when you knew it was all over. Perhaps fatigue helped the enemies knock the sword of justice from the hand of the Revolution, and now, defenseless, she is waiting for the blade of the guillotine to cut off her head… Already today, before evening comes, she will die in the square in front of the eyes of her children, whom she loves so much…

------------

You had no friends, because they all betrayed you, carved deep wounds into your heart. That's why you didn't give your trust to anyone and your love dedicated to the people. You didn't expect gratitude for fighting hard for its cause. So now you ascend calm and ready to death that awaits you up there. You don't worry about the crime of those you never allowed close enough to hurt your soul. Only one person could do that… and you knew that would never happen… you gave him your faith, such a precious gift. He gave you his, and that's why you are walking with him today on the last path. You couldn't leave him at that cruel moment, you couldn't…because you know how much betrayal hurts.

----

Cold is the blade, cold as death, cold as you… an icy touch in the middle of summer. But there is fire burning inside your soul that won't go out… it will continue to burn in the minds of those who understand you. Of those who won't die today, but with mute mouths and aching hearts will overcome despair, so they can live for your ideals for which you die.

[aroacewxs]

my personal interpretation of cyberpunk dead boy

finished the event story today (thank you sekai.best my dear buddy pal) and looped the comm numerous times and studied the lyrics under a microscope, so i will now ramble a bit about my thoughts!! spoilers for backlit lens flare.

cyberpunk dead boy, from what i can tell, describes how modern consumerism and fame affects artists. it tells the story of an artist who started out with big dreams of portraying their feelings through their work, but slowly began spiralling into this pit of numbers and recognition and a vain desire for attention. whatever they wanted to communicate with their audience no longer has any substance or thought. they are then left wondering about whatever it is they dreamed of before this. what was the story they wanted to tell? does it even matter anymore?

cyberpunk "dead boy." the artist no longer lives for their art. there is nothing to breathe life into. are they even alive at this point?

on the other hand, we are also given the perspective of the consumers. consumers who don't care about the thought put into a piece of art, consumers who only care about whether this will make them feel good or not.

when you connect these two, you get a vain, lost artist who no longer sees their audience as individual human beings, but as VIEWERS. BUYERS. and these members of the audience are also trapped in this loop of consuming, throwing away, and finding something else to sink their teeth into. there is nothing meaningful being created.

rui's 4 star illustrates these audience members quite well. see, none of the passing people are. people. they have electronic devices for heads, and they're all glued to their phones. the little child holding their parent's hand, it should be a very wholesome and endearing sight, but it just feels wrong. there is no connection being developed between the two. this card depicts this haunting dystopian society where art no longer carries any weight for the human race, and we are all just left as hollow vessels with a mindless desire for meaningless entertainment. we don't develop any connections with other human beings, and the feelings that rui wants to evoke within his audience are futile.

on that note, the themes in this comm and the cards are incredibly oppositional to rui's own philosophy. what HE wants to achieve with his own art, his dream. compared to the thoughtless robots this artist sees their audience as, rui is incredibly caring and treats every single living being with such soft tenderness. he sees his audience as people. everything around him, the nature, the interactions he has with others, every single detail in his environment is a source of inspiration for his work. every single detail means that much to him. and whenever rui encounters a new artwork, a new play or story, he never just plays it off like "YUP another play. same old." he practically takes apart each layer one by one, studies it intently and tries to understand what kind of meaning the artist wanted to communicate. he then applies it to his own life, and to his own work. to think that rui would ever treat art and stories as something to just be eaten, thrown out, and forgotten about, is unfathomable.

this only leads me to wonder about the role sakaki will play in wxs's current arc. we ended off the story with ohara explaining to sakaki that rui is interested in stage production, and would probably encounter him again in the future. the way they framed this cliffhanger makes it only correct to assume that sakaki will return and will have a bigger part to play in wxs's story and their development.

sakaki intrigues me. his manner of speaking is very light and careless, his mannerisms even more so. compared to ohara, who is incredibly headstrong and burning like the sun with passion for his work and every single detail that is put into it, sakaki treats these details like they're just. there. takes one look at the scene ohara is having trouble with and it clicks instantly in his head. says some cryptic shit and packs his bag to leave.

furthermore, considering that most event commissions are written for the characters, for the story in that event, i really wonder who this song is about? is it about sakaki? will rui encounter this exact same problem about wondering what it was he wanted to portray from the beginning (unlikely imo, but would be interesting to see). nothing in backlit lens flare even remotely hints toward the lyricism in cyberpunk dead boy (i may have missed something, correct me if im wrong) which only excites me more for their next focus hehehe !!!

this was just a bunch of word vomit,, thank you for bearing with me, hopefully it makes sense?!?

[leilakaro]

Malleus Draconia X fem!Reader

Reminiscing in childhood memories

Angst, Hurt/Comfort, ooc (?)

Content: Malleus finds out that he and the Prefect have more in common than he thought, when the Prefect opens up about her childhood.

English is not my first language!!

(I made up my own memories, childhood trauma etc. For this reader, it's very specific so if you don't like that you probably shouldn't read, I like the thought of vulnerable moments like this tho)

It was deep into the middle of the night when you decided that you needed fresh air, and stepped outside of Ramshackle. You let yourself fall into the wet grass as you gazed up to the stars, finding comfort in its beauty. You weren't able to sleep, no of course not because today was the day. The Day of your birth, a day that you dreaded. You took a deep breath in and tried to concentrate on your breathing, instead of your overwhelming thoughts and feelings.

A deep and very familiar voice, that greeted you, made you wake up from your daydreams and jump up alarmed. "Tsunotaro you scared me!" You gasped as you looked into the dragon faes enchanting eyes. "I apologize child of man, I didn't mean to startle you." You lowered yourself into the grass again and let out a deep sigh. You followed Malleus with your eyes as he sat down beside you, not caring about the wet grass as he was simply basking in your presence. "You seem deep in thoughts child of man, do you wish to share them with me?" He looked at you with love and tenderness, yet concerned.

You avoided eye contact as you sat up again, knowing he would be upset that you didn't tell him it was your birthday. Of course he wouldn't be mad, he never gets mad at you, just upset. But maybe talking about it and showing vulnerability to the one you loved would help you move on. "Today..is my birthday" you sighed as you looked into his eyes again, and just as you expected suprise and sadness filled his eyes. Sadness because you didn't tell him about such an important date.

"Why didn't you tell me child of man? I would have organised a grand Birthday feast for you." Malleus spoke exactly the words you were afraid of. A birthday party. "That's the problem Tsunotaro, I don't want a birthday party and I don't even want any of my friends to know, that it's my birthday." You buried your face in your arms frustrated. Malleus leaned in and gently cupped one of your cheeks, making you look up at him. "Tell me about your fears and problems, my dear child of man. You have listened to me talk about my problems countless of times, it is my turn to hold and comfort you." You took his hand from your face, sliding your fingers into his. His hands were so much bigger compared to yours, he held your hand softly in his, it made you feel safe. You took a deep breath in, deciding to tell him the truth, to talk about your past and be vulnerable. To heal, to move on.

"Back in my world, I grew up very lonely. My parents were always focused on my siblings, and to be honest even outside my family.. no one really liked me. I was a lonely child with no friends, and a family who simply didn't care enough to comfort me." Malleus eyes widened slightly in shock, he knew this feeling..this loneliness, you didn't deserve it. He squeezed your hand, encouraging you to continue talking.

"I was very desperate for company, I tried so hard to make friends. I tried so hard to even get them to like me and not look at me so.. weirded out. However, my tries were in vain." Malleus listened attentively to you, his heart aching as he imagined your pain.. the same pain he experienced. He slid a little closer to you, feeling the need to protect you, to ward off your loneliness and sadness.

"Even though my tries were in vain and no matter how much I told myself that I didn't need anyone, my heart was aching to be loved. And because of that I always had a little hope left in me. So every year on my birthday I would give invitations to all of my classmates and just everyone I knew. This little hope I had left would always light up and I would get ready, put my birthday dress on and sit excited at the table, waiting for everyone to show up." Malleus slid and arm around your waist, as little sobs escaped your mouth. He knew what was coming, what you would say next, he didn't want to hear it.

"I sat there and waited for hours, no one showed up..not one single damn person showed up" hot tears stared rolling down your cheeks "Every year it broke my heart over and over again, until I just stopped trying when I was about 10. And now everything has changed, even before I came here to twisted wonderland. I started healing and found wonderful friends. But still every year I dread my birthday because I can only remember the excited little girl who waited at the table excitedly for anyone to show up, just to get disappointed over and over again. I still feel her pain so vividly, this little girl is still inside me fearing to throw a birthday party again, because what if no one shows up again? What if I just spend another birthday crying myself to sleep."

Malleus heart throbbed painfully, he knew this feeling of loneliness. He didn't want you to know this feeling. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around you, embracing you tightly. He tried to put in as much love and care as he could, something he sometimes still struggled expressing.

Your hands grabbed onto him, as you cried into his shoulder. You cried for the little girl inside you, who's heart just ached to be loved.

———

I got a lil carried away 🥹 But I just really love vulnerable moments like that ugh. Btw I wrote this at 4 am and while I did proof read multiple times there are probably still some mistakes.

[turiluvr]

butterflies

featherlight kisses that feel like butterflies.

tighnari x gn!reader

Tighnari wasn't someone who was fond of trapping insects into small jars for experimentation – some part of him thinks it's inhumane, that there was something severely wrong with the concept of using life for the sake of research. But down to the very core, he was a promising scholar who was dominated by curiosity. And the deliberation about whether or not it was morally correct to use small insects for the sake of research was right or wrong was thrown into the furthest part of his mind as he took some glass jars and stashed them into his knapsack.

"Master Tighnari, wait up!" You made your way into his abode without another warning as you panted, out of breath after running all the way from the forest to his quarters as he stared at you curiously. Though he continued shoving items into his bag – a notepad, a pen, some samples of herbs and plants, and a plethora of tools that could help him with his next experiment. You continued, hand on your chest as you still tried to catch your breath. "You could've told me beforehand that you were going to take a trip to the forest to catch samples! Take me with you, please, I need to collect some samples as well."

He stared at you from the corner of his eye as he closed his bag and readied himself to go outside. He pondered for a moment if he should allow you to accompany him or not, though you probably wouldn't appreciate a little teasing given your serious expression. So he responded with the same level of seriousness: "Alright. Though, you'll have to stick next to me since we're going pretty far this time. If you manage to find yourself lost because you didn't listen to a word I said, don't come looking for me – got it?"

You nodded your head as you grabbed your bag and trailed behind him as both of you set out on your journey to go deep into the forest. The familiar green was as captivating as ever as the sun shone directly above the leaves that provided you with shade, you couldn't help but gawk in awe every time you saw the lush leaves and the colorful plants that you come across during your patrols. Tighnari caught you slowing down from the corner of his eye, and his ear twitched ever so slightly as he asked you: "what's wrong?"

You shook your head and waved your hands violently, embarrassed that he caught you doing something as stupid as staring at the trees you see everyday. "Oh, no! Nothing's wrong! I… I was just thinking about how beautiful the flowers are."

"...? Do you not see this sight every day?" Tighnari couldn't help but grow curious as he knitted his brows together. He knew that you were lying through your teeth, and he just wasn't the type to let that kind of thing go – especially when the excuse you gave him was so lame and full of holes. He thought that maybe he could teach you a thing or two about coming up with better excuses but that was another lesson saved for another day.

You laughed nervously, you knew Tighnari well and you could immediately make out the sarcasm dripping from his voice as you made your way through the thick bushes. "Well, yes, I do. But is it not possible that the flowers are more radiant today?"

"Hmm, it's not entirely impossible." Tighnari chuckled. At this point, this friendly banter became something both played along with. "Though I'm sure you know full well that I can tell whether or not you're trying to hide something. Our time together has not been entirely in vain."

"Master Tighnari…" you grimaced. "Observing people so closely like that can ward people away from you, you know?"

Tighnari stopped in his tracks, a mischievous look gracing his features as he turned to look at you for a moment and muttered, "and yet you continue to follow me around. I wonder why – could you be inexplicably attracted to me?"

You fell silent, and a satisfied look took over Tighnari's face as he continued marching on. You felt your face flush in embarrassment as you chased after him – how humiliating was that!? You regretted not being able to come up with a better retort to his words but there was an invisible force that made you want to blurt out your true feelings. The rest of the journey was silent as both of you finally arrived at your final destination, it was a grassy field with butterflies and flowers scattered all over as it painted an ethereal sight to behold.

The first thing Tighnari did was sit down on the grassy field and whipped out his pencil and notepad, quickly scribbling down his findings before turning back to you: “Well, what are you waiting for? If you’re gonna catch some samples, you better hurry up – we don’t have all day, and I won’t be waiting for you past sunset.”

His tone was a little mean, perhaps a little cruel at best but you knew that those were nothing but empty threats meant to push you a little and to tease you. It was Tighnari’s sick way of thinking, but you were too used to it to argue with him about it. So you quickly got to work as you scooped up some samples from the barks of the trees and stashed them into small vials inside your bag. A few strange mushrooms were lying around here and there but you didn’t know if they were an invasive species so you left it alone and made sure to notify Tighnari about them.

By the time you were done, Tighnari was finalizing his notes as you sat down next to him and stretched your limbs as you let out a small groan. “Argh… I can’t believe I have to work on this some more after we come back home, there’s really no rest for us, is there?”

“Well, you get what you signed up for.” Tighnari nudged you, poking on the fact that you took up this job entirely out of your own volition. There was no one that forced you to join and no one forced you to stay – but there was one problem, Tighnari. It was hysterical to think that he was the reason why you would endure the harsh jobs. It was to stay with him and continue seeing him, though you didn’t know if he knew about your little crush and you hoped that this little outing wasn’t enough for him to figure out that you were hopelessly crushing on him.

“Haha… you’re right.” But it would be a waste to let this opportunity come by without doing anything. Both of you were alone, after all. It wasn’t strange for you to want to get closer to him especially in this kind of situation and in this beautiful place. You gathered the courage, taking in a sharp breath, “Hey… Master Tighnari, are you seeing someone? Or… do you perhaps like someone?”

It was a straightforward question. And Tighnari was no idiot.

A butterfly passed by. One with white wings along with green features that made it seem like it was shining underneath the light like jewels – your eyes trailed its movements, desperate to not look at Tighnari out of embarrassment. There was little you could do when you impulsively tried to look toward him and felt a brief and light presence on your lips for a split second before feeling the cold warmth take over once more.

That was…?

By the time you had your thoughts together, Tighnari was already standing up and dusting the dirt from his clothes. But he didn’t face you. You touched your lips gently with your fingertips, you wondered if that was just a figment of your imagination or if it was real – a featherlight kiss that felt like a butterfly landing on your lips.

“That should suffice as an answer to your question.” Tighnari finally faced you, face a little red and his eyebrows furrowed as if mildly embarrassed. “Now, let’s go. The sun is about to set.”

You couldn’t believe it – did he really…? You felt like you were being driven mad.

[fleetingcalypso]

Greetings, oh beautifully talented Calypso.

Today I come forward to ask you a quite peculiar request for a fic, if you'd be comfortable writing about it.

If you'd like to humor me, I am definitely a sucker for Francis Abernathy, therefore I present to you a prompt for him, that takes place in the timeline after the end of college.

Since I tremendously like the way you portray the characters psychological traits, I believe you could write a masterpiece out of this.

Could you write about a reunion between Francis and the reader, who has received Francis' goodbye letter and rushed to his side, after they went no contact for years.

Maybe they were occasional lovers while in college, but Francis kept the reader as a side piece for when Charles didn't want him? All while the reader had genuine feelings for him and stayed by his side even though they knew it was extremely toxic?

How would this reunion end? Would it be with or without comfort? If it's okay for you to write this, I'll leave this decision up to you. Thank you for listening and have a good day!

≋ Quite heartbreaking, being used as a replacement for an impossible love.

≋ Francis Abernathy x AMAB!Reader ≋

≋ Word Count: 2259 words.

≋ TW: Mentions of sh, mentions of s*icide, depressive themes, mentions of d*ath, probable manipulation and toxic relationship, one-sided love, lavender marriage.

≋ CW: Angst with no happy ending. Hurt/No Comfort. Reader is AMAB, but it can be read as GN!Reader.

“Mon amant,”

These are the first words I receive from the one man I gifted my best moments to. Black ink on white paper laughs in my face and  mocks me, the swirls in his penmanship whirl me into an hallucinogenic land I hadn’t stepped foot in for what felt like ages. The last time I spoke to him was at a funeral in St. Louis, a wretched day, where he promised me, with his gaze fixed on a black casket, that he’d never drift too far from me. After that, I’d only meet him in my dreams, during those nights where I thought my time had come.

Just eight letters perfectly placed, that was all it took for dried flowers to be bathed in holy water and blossom into divine red roses. For years and years I had tried to contact him, but in vain; my efforts in hearing his voice again, feeling his skin, catching a glimpse of his eyes only succeeded in my heart shrivelling up into something unrecognisable, chewed, consumed by worms and larvae. Each letter I sent found its way back to my doorstep, each call was left unanswered, Richard was my only way of knowing Francis was even alive at all.

Casting my feelings aside for just a moment, me and my soul feel no shame in drinking up each and every word on the page, it’s like eating cherries. One word leaves me hungry for the other, a famine coming to an end; after so long with only my memories keeping his memory alive it is difficult to contain my craving for any scrap of him I can get my cursed hands on.

His letter reads like an obituary although written in haste. 

“Mon amant,

I will not bother you with worthless, dishonest chatter of the likes of ‘How are you, my friend? We haven’t talked in a while!’ because this is most likely the first and last time I will speak to you in more time than I want to admit.

Seeing Henry being lowered into the ground, with none of our friends present, cleared a lot of fog into my mind, honestly I think this was a long time coming. Don’t feel sorry for me. You of all people, I wholeheartedly feel, should be somewhat relieved.

As I’m writing this, I realise - or perhaps I knew it all along - that I have been anything but kind to you, in our youth. I do ask, beg even, that you forgive me for my sins.

Forgive me for the kisses we shared, forgive me for those gasps I breathed against your neck, forgive me for having moulded you into the silhouette of what I was looking for in a lover, without ever actually dipping more than my finger in your waters.

Forgive me for all the promises I didn’t even try to keep.

There are many things we did together that I can still remember: when my eyes are closed and I'm tip-toeing on the fine line between sleep and wakefulness, my mind brings me back to whispers in the dark, to my back being pressed against the wall and to your hand in mine.

I won’t reminisce any longer. It leaves an all too saccharine aftertaste in my mouth.

If it matters any, you are the one thing I can’t bring myself to regret.

If after I fall into eternal sleep I happen to run into Henry, I will not hesitate in speaking my mind and asking him why the hell he was so selfish as to leave us all behind and not cause a bloodbath in that hotel room. 

Again, please don’t feel too anguished over this. It was only a matter of time.

Yours, if only for a fleeting moment in time,

Francis”

I read it, again and again, until it is burned into my retinas. I could repeat it out loud like a litany, like a religious chant forwards and backwards, in my sleep even. I most likely did repeat it in my sleep, as while I was on a plane rushing to his side in Logan, I remember being gently stirred awake by a young girl who thought I was trapped in what she called a nightmare. I assured her I was alright, but my words would soon reveal themselves to be false.

It was indeed a night terror that I was going through, only I wasn’t asleep and this was the cruel reality that fate had written in the cards for me. And terror inhabited my heart when my eyes finally met his once again.

Who was this man? Where had my Francis gone? Had I gotten the wrong room? Of course I hadn’t, he was reserved a private one, his personal nurse guided me to it.

We stared at each other and not a single muscle was moved, not until he was the one to break the spell that had enchanted us into cold statues. He sighed and turned away. I felt it like a slap in my face, still I rushed to the chair next to his bed, almost tripping over my own feet.

“Francis.” I breathe, tasting his name on my tongue, invisible maraschino cherries grazing my taste buds turning sour when my vision focuses on the bandages around his wrists. It’s unreal. The first time I can breathe in the air he exhales after an everlasting apnea, and it’s because he attempted to take his own life.

I want to scream. I want to break something. Hell, I’d strike him, if he wasn’t injured. What right does he have to take away what I hold closest to my chest? I could have lived, knowing he was alive, living his best - or worst- life somewhere in a far away meander of the world. I could have lived without his presence next to me. I could have endured it for a million lifetime, not knowing if my gaze would catch a glimpse of his red curls ever again. 

What I could not live with, was knowing he was not on this Earth anymore. That my affection was being dispersed into the wind, melting into the roots of trees with no way of reaching its recipient.

Silence reigned, I had left my house in a hurry, not even bothering to wash my dishes, fold my laundry or clean the coffee that spilled on my kitchen table when I read the name inked on the back of the letter delivered to me. It dawns on me tragically. I was so eager to finally be able to count the freckles on his cheeks again, that not for one second had I prepared what to say in his presence.

Surprisingly -or maybe not- he is the one to speak first, his words send an ice dagger through me, “How are you? We haven’t talked in a while.” He says not looking at me, just like he did during Henry’s funeral. History repeats itself.

These are the first words I receive from the one man I gifted my best moments to, this time at the very least I can hear his voice as he mocks me with what he quotes as worthless, dishonest chatter.

“Francis.” There’s a masked harshness to my tone that grabs him by the jaw and forces him to look my way once again. “You tried to kill yourself.”

“Wow, I left you as sharp as an arrow and I find you as dull as an unsharpened knife.” It sounds more like a tease than an insult, the slight rising of his eyebrow confirms my doubt. 

Why the hell would you do that? I want to say, why the hell would you promise me to stick by my side and then disappear like a phantom? Why in the world would you eradicate your existence from my life? But the words never come, because they’re not the ones I should say right now and with the way his hollowed eyes gaze into mine, it’s obvious he understands my struggle in not blowing up.

“I’ve been selfish,” He admits, trying to sit up straighter, my hands fists the material of my trousers to hold back from helping him, “I did not expect to see you ever again. That day, when we said goodbye to Henry…” For a blink of an eye he’s back in time, standing at my side, three rows behind our friend’s weeping mother, “Some inconsiderate part of me truly wanted to be with you, I was looking at the future and there wasn’t much I could count as permanent. Not even life itself. But you… You were always there for me.”

“I was.” I’m not ashamed to admit it. Those times where Charles wanted nothing to do with Francis, I was, without fail, the one he seeked comfort in. My body did not hesitate when it was pulled in bathroom stalls, in bedrooms or in a secluded corner of the library back at Hampden. Maybe he liked having me as his paramour because of my gentle touch and the way I’d carefully set his glasses to the side before kissing him, maybe being on the receiving hand of love and care made him feel more alive than his hair being pulled and teeth digging into his neck.

“I was scared.” Unlike me, he is ashamed. “I was scared if I kept you in my life, I would forever be reminded of what we did.” 

“What we did?” I echo him and he nods solemnly. It’s when his teeth begin torturing his bottom lip, that I almost let myself be pulled back in the past. I almost feel like Orpheus and Eurydice together as one, one single look behind me and I will be forever lost in what could have been. His tongue peaks out to alleviate the damage his teeth are guilty of and it is done.

Invisible spirits wrap themselves around my limbs and guide my hand on top of his, I restrained myself as much as humanly possible. His letter sits in the chest pocket of my jacket, it weighs heavy, though it is not the reason my body leans towards him.

Mesmerised by the way his curls bounce when his head shakes it takes a while for me to realise he’s slipped his hand away from mine to reach for a cigarette on his nightstand, jealousy possesses me when such a small object fits perfectly between his lips, nonetheless I light it up for him. The nearby ashtray is already a residence to a dead cigarette, though it looks like it was put out as soon as it was lit.

After breathing out a cloud of smoke Francis decides it’s time to throw my world off its axis, “I’m getting married. I have to, or I can kiss my grandfather’s money goodbye.” If jealousy possessed me earlier, for a simple cigarette, now a pit sits in my stomach, my head tilts in confusion because it’s all I can do while my throat goes dry. “To an impossibly stupid girl, of all people.” He adds, and it doesn’t take long until he shoves in my hands a photo of someone I don’t recognize.

“She’s pretty.”

“Richard said the same. You just missed him, he left a moment before you arrived.” For some reason it irks me that Richard was here before me. He’d always been everywhere and nowhere at once yet somehow still in the way. Too often Francis had confessed to me how interesting it would be if he could have a chance with Richard.

The more I stared at the smiling woman in the picture the more daggers piercing me. While he may not ever truly love her like a man loves a woman, perhaps she could give him a good life. Something he clearly did not want with me. I’m quick to brush that thought away, the same way I set the photo back onto the nightstand. “Nonetheless congra-”

“I had found someone else.” He interrupts and at this point maybe it would have been better if I had just stayed at home, if I had forgotten Francis Abernathy existed and if I had tried to wash his taste out of my mouth with soap. Each and every word he says is a bullet aimed to kill, he probably doesn’t even realise or if he does then the years have made him much more cruel than I could have ever imagined. “His name is Kim, he’s a lawyer, he went to Harward, he was good. But no, instead I have to marry a stupid girl, whose presence sucks the fun out of every room she steps foot into.” 

“I’m sorry.” What else is there to say? “I’m really sorry, Francis.”

“I’m sorry too.” 

“I shouldn’t have come.”

“No, no you shouldn’t have.”

I wonder if I could offer him to run away together. I wonder if he’d agree to let me be his saviour. I wonder if he opened up to Richard in one day more than he ever did with me. I wonder if he’s going to notice that I stole one of his cigarettes. I wonder how much time I’ve spent sitting in silence on a bench a couple streets away from Brigham and Women’s Hospital. I wonder how much time has passed since I last smoked a cigarette. I wonder why it doesn’t hurt as much as I imagined when the letter he wrote me burns at my feet. I wonder when the next flight back home is.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

dropped an ask then had a lightbulb moment so you get to hear it. what do you think about a reader with a Nacho n Lalo sharing situation? Lalo going a bit rough one time [thinking the dacryphilia one!!!!!!!!!], Nacho hearing n coming in n mediating, trying to give the reader comfort by petting their hair or murmuring to them through it, but Lalos busy using them to get off saying “pshhhh it’s fine” n having his way til they’re overstimmed, sobbing into Nachos lap until Lalo finishes, all of them knowing the reader doesn’t get to come even if Lalo goes for round 2 […but maybe Nacho will fix that later ;)]

NACHO GIRLIES I PROMISED I WOULD FEED YOU!!!!!! haven't written him AT ALL since jefe (and he was just There 🧍‍♂️) so this been a long time coming 😌 hehe cumming giggity

this ended up being really long so i put it under a cut. i actually wanted to keep going w/ this so i may add on to it and put it on ao3 later 😳

combining w/ this ask

warning: dacryphilia, degradation, orgasm denial, dubcon

anatomical terms: cunt/dick (reader's), coño/cunt/cock/verga (nacho's), dick/cock (lalo's)

Lalo had invited you and Nacho into his home, welcoming you with open arms. He gave you the grand tour, proclaiming that you both would live like kings in your time with him, and you could see why. His house practically was a heavily guarded castle; only thing missing was a moat. He had introduced you to his staff, his people, and they all were so excited to have you. They seemed like a genuinely nice bunch.

You wondered if they could hear you right now.

They probably could. You weren't exactly quiet, quite the opposite, actually. You were wailing and blubbering as Lalo pounded into your cunt, his coke nails leaving indents in your skin as he gripped the back of your knees.

You were choking back tears, snot, and your orgasm as you begged for lenience. “Lah… *sniff* Lah-loh… Lalo, Lalo, Lalo... Too… *hic* Too much… I can't..."

"Yes you can," Lalo answered for you, "You can take it. You wanna be a good boy for me, right? Then you have to wait for me to tell you. We're not done yet."

You whined and moaned as he continued his onslaught. You were loud. Loudly sobbing and sniffling as he thrusted into you. Loud squelching and skin slapping reverberated around the room. You remembered all those kind people he introduced you to today, and you prayed to God that they were all asleep. You wouldn't be able to bear the humiliation otherwise.

Luckily, they all were. But someone else wasn't.

Nacho couldn't get a wink of sleep. First from anxiety, and then because he heard something. Something that sounded serious. Stupidly, he went to go investigate. He rubbed his eyes, blinded by the light as he cracked open the door to Lalo's room. “Hey, is everything alright? I thought I heard someone cry-" Once he took his hand away from his face, he was then blinded by the traumatizing (to him at least) sight of Lalo Salamanca's bare ass. "Oh my GOD, dude, really?!”

You yelped and buried your face in your hands, embarrassed to be so exposed. Lalo didn’t care. He didn't slow down. He didn’t even turn to look at Nacho. “That’s what happens when you don’t knock, cabrón (asshole)!” He laughed.

“Shit, man, I thought I heard someone crying and…” Nacho got a better look at you and stopped short. Someone was crying. You were crying. What the fuck? What the hell was going on? Was this even consensual? Had Lalo been violating you the whole time you three had worked together? He gulped in fear and tried in vain to question his boss, “Aren’t you going too hard, you think?”

“Nah, he’s fine. He can take it. He likes it rough.” Lalo grunted. He hoisted your legs up onto his shoulders, and used one of his now free hands to reach behind him and beckon Nacho over. “Debes venir aquí y míralo. Verás que lo quiero decir. Él es un putito sucio, no te preocupes. (You should come and watch. You’ll see what I mean. He’s a dirty little slut, don't you worry.)” Lalo stopped moving his hips and pulled your hands away to get your attention. “Look! Say hi to Nachito!" He made you wave at him. "He’s gonna come watch for a bit. You must've been pretty loud to make him worry about you, eh? He just wants to make sure that you’re okay. Can he watch? Just for a little while, nene (baby), I promise.”

Your cheeks were bright red and boiling hot, tears bubbling down that did nothing to quench the flame. You looked over at Nacho, who had a look of genuine concern on his face, and then back up at Lalo, who looked cheery as ever. You sniffled and stuttered your answer, "O-Okay..."

Lalo cackled. "Alright! Now it's a party!" He glanced over his shoulder back at Nacho. "C'mon! Get over here. I won't bite! Well, not you at least. Unless you want me to." He winked and clicked his tongue at him.

Nacho sighed, really regretting his decision to be the hero right about now. Had he just chosen to mind his own business, he could’ve been lying in his room, maybe even asleep and oblivious, getting some decent fucking shut-eye for the first time in his goddamn life. Instead, his big mouth had bought him the brilliant responsibility of babysitting his batshit crazy boss’s bedroom behavior. He could rob the Patrón distillery and it wouldn’t get him enough alcohol to drink this memory away. He approached the bed begrudgingly, arms crossed over his chest. "How do you want me?"

Lalo's hands snuck around your waist and lifted you up, pressing your chest against his own. He spoke to Nacho as if you weren't even there. "Sit behind him. I’ll put him in your lap. And be nice to him, okay? He’s sensitive."

The irony of that statement was not lost on Nacho. He rolled his eyes as he climbed onto the bed, sitting down behind you criss-cross applesauce, y'know, as you do in a completely normal situation like this. Lalo laid you down gently so your head could rest in the other's lap, just like he said. Nacho brushed your hair out of your face, and as your eyes met his, his expression went from frustration to trepidation. At least, that's it looked like upside down. He didn't want to risk making things worse for you, so he mouthed the words: Are you okay? You nodded, and that seemed to relax him a little.

"See? There we go! Everything's fine." Lalo cooed and caressed your cheek. "Are you ready, conejito (bunny)?"

Nacho cringed at the pet name, but you loved it. "Mhm..." you whispered.

Having gotten the green light, Lalo took hold of your thighs, pushed them up to your chest, and got back to work, recklessly pistoning his hips into you like you were nothing more than a hole for him. Like you were a sex doll, a tiny little thing that he could manipulate however he wanted, however would make him feel the best. The new position let him reach even deeper, making you cry even harder. "Ah! Lalo! Lalo! Mmh! F-Fu- *sniff* Fuck... Fuck me! *sniff* Fuck me!"

"I am, sweetheart!" Lalo smiled at you, then Nacho. "See how much he likes this? I told you he's a slut."

As much as he hated to admit it, Nacho was fascinated by this, by you more specifically. There was no doubt in his mind that you were enjoying yourself, but you were crying, practically howling like you wanted it to stop, like you were in agony, but it wasn't agony. It was ecstasy.

For you, at least. For Lalo, it was business as usual. He was definitely enjoying it, but he was eerily calm about the whole thing, barely even breaking a sweat. He could even crack a joke at Nacho's expense. "Si tu coño sea la mitad bueno que esto, tal vez deberé probarlo después, ¿verdad? (If your cunt is half as good as this, maybe I'll have to try it out later, right?)"

Nacho ignored him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a response. He just gazed down it you, almost in awe. He gently stroked your hair, making you nuzzle into his touch as you sobbed. "Does it feel good?" he asked you.

Your eyes slammed shut as you moaned, "Yes! Yes, god, yes! Ah! So *hic* good! So good! *sniff* God... *sniff* it's... *sniff* so... *sniff* good! Fuck me! Fuck me more!" You weren't sure who you were talking to anymore.

Lalo assumed it was him. "Dios mío, muñequito (My god, doll), you are shameless!" He teased, "Now, just because we have a guest doesn't mean the rules change. You can't cum until I say so." He spanked your ass to punctuate his statement, before attempting to engage Nacho in conversation again, "Está tan necesitado. Siempre me está rogando que le deje a venir. Es una lástima que no tengas una verga, si no dejaría tocarte el turno en él. Es lindo, ¿verdad? (He's so needy. He's always begging me to let him cum. It's a shame that you don't have a cock, otherwise I'd let you take a turn on him. He's cute, right?)"

"S-Sí, él es... (Yeah, he is...)" Nacho responded, his eyes not leaving you as you writhed in his lap. Maybe if he stared at you long enough, his eyes would blur out everything but your face, and Lalo and his dick would fade into obscurity.

But they didn't. Lalo's presence only got more intrusive as he neared his peak. "Mierda, estoy cerca... Tan apretado... (Shit, I'm close... So tight...)" He groaned, "Acá, agarra sus manos. Voy a venir dentro de lo (Here, grab his hands. I'm gonna cum inside of him.)" Nacho did as he asked, taking your wrists in his hands, holding you down so Lalo could have his way with you. Lalo sighed in approval at him, "Good boy," and then at you, "You too. Such good boys, the both of you." He stroked your cheek and wiped your tears with his thumb. "I'm gonna cum inside you, pretty boy. Doesn't that sound nice? Gonna be so... ngh... so nice and full... fuck..." Lalo gave a few more hard thrusts before he buried himself inside you, humming as he filled you to the brim with his cum. You trembled and whimpered underneath him, squirming against Nacho's grasp, your dick painfully hard and untouched, longing for attention.

Lalo pulled his cock out, hissing in delight as he watched his cum spill out of you. "Oh, look at that. Gorgeous." He tapped your cheek again so you could open your eyes. "You stay right here. I'm gonna go get us all something to drink, okay?" Lalo kissed your forehead and climbed off the bed, directing his next line to Nacho, "Don't try anything funny, you hear?" He laughed as he cloaked himself in a silk bathrobe and left the room, heading for the kitchen, leaving the door wide open. What? His house, his rules.

You and Nacho stared at each other awkwardly, your chest rising and falling as you worked on stabilizing your breath. How the fuck do you start a conversation after that? Nacho cleared his throat to make an attempt. "So, uh... he doesn't let you finish?"

You shook your head. "N-No... Not until he says so..."

Nacho frowned. "That's not cool..." He listened intently for a second, sighing when he heard movement downstairs. Lalo was gone. Now was his chance. "Here..." He took your neglected dick between two fingers and started to stroke you.

"...Let me help."

[jesssssssssica]

jo & laurie & amy al12 & cl16

word count: 6k!

i am in love with my best friend. and i think he’s in love with me.

i’m not trying to be vain but i can’t deny that the way he looks at me is a look of love, lust and passion, matching the one i give him.  

i’ve never been in love with anyone but him. when we first met all those years ago it was like cupids arrow had pierced through my heart and since then i have been infatuated with charles leclerc.

the truth is though, who wouldn’t be? what’s not to like? he has the dimples that appear even after the worlds worst jokes and eyes that would have you hooked as his gorgeous plump lips ramble about a number of different things, he has everything a girl could want.

and yet he never made a move on anyone else. it’s just been me and him, y/n and charles, the dynamic duo. 

until that day on the hill.

i’m not oblivious to the fact that time is going on and that our lives are getting shorter and shorter each day, i know that if you want something so bad then just go for it or else you’ll miss your chance. i’m also not oblivious to the attention charles gets, i know he’s so gorgeous and attractive but how am i meant compete with those front cover models?

“it’s a nice day today, isn’t it?” charles asks me, his eyes squinted due to the beaming sun.

‘any day with you is a nice day’ my thoughts say as i quickly come up with a response.

“it really is” 

“did you hear that theodora got married and carlas off to paris for uni. it’s like time has finally caught up with us. and i’ll be off at the races again soon, which leaves you all alone, because unlike my mother and enzo you will never have anything to do that doesn’t end up leaving you even more getting bored.” 

everything he says is true and extremely saddening. when he’s gone i will have nothing to do but wallow in sadness, thinking about all the beautiful women he will meet day in and day out.

“you don’t have to go, you could stay here”

this is the moment he will say he loves me back and we can run off into the distance together and live our lives peacefully.

he laughs at me, probably at how ridiculous of an idea that was. 

“why do you want to run away and maybe sail away on a pirate ship far into the distance.”

i just look at him. taking in all the beauty i can see right now and i appreciate it for the hundredth time because i know that this is the last time he will look at me as if i am just a friend.

i inhale deeply and charles notices and i can tell he knows. he knows i am in love with him but instead of a look of happiness, i receive a look of what i can only perceive as anger. 

“no y/n.”

those two words break me. 

“don’t y/n”

i now understand what heartbreak actually is. it feels as if you’re heart has been pulled out of your chest and stomped on over again as they point and laugh at you as if you are a child.

i can’t help but try and fight the truth of situation, i mean what else am i meant to do in the heat of the moment, just back away without a fight? i am incredibly in love with this man and i can’t seem to let him go, it would hurt to much.

“charles, i’ve loved you since the moment i met you and i tried to ignore it at first but it just got to much and you were just so perfect that i couldn’t help it and i tried to let you know earlier but you would always shrug the topic away but now you have to listen to me and give me an answer once and for all because i can’t deal with this any longer, i really can’t.” 

 tears are streaming down my cheeks when i am finished. i am in pain but no one could ever understand me. i am in love with a man that will never EVER love me back and yet i was so naive that i dug my hole deeper by begging for him to give me just one chance. 

he speaks but i can barely hear it as my ears and my head have gone numb. 

“charles you don’t understand how hard i’ve worked to please you and keep you happy, and i gave up hanging out with my other friends to spend time with you and i’ve never complained because i thought that you would finally notice me and that you would say how much you loved me even though i’m not half as good as those-”

“you are good enough y/n. in fact you’re too good for me and i am so happy that you’ve been there for me all this time because i’m so grateful and proud of you y/n and i’m sorry that i can’t love you the way you love me i really am.” 

“you can’t love me?”

“i can’t magically change the way i feel about you and i wouldn’t want to lie and i do love you like that when i really don’t, it wouldn’t be fair, i’m sorry y/n, i'm so desperately sorry that i can’t love you the way you want me to but i can’t change the way i feel.”

i take two steps back, stumbling slightly as if the words that charles has just uttered are boxing gloves that hit me over and over again in the stomach.

“well i can’t love anyone else but you charles.  trust me i’ve tried.” 

“y/n it would never work even if we tried our hardest. i would be away all the time and you love your job enough that you would never quit it! and the way i fold my clothes and cook my food winds you up we just wouldn’t work!”

“if you loved me charles then i wouldn’t care, but only if you loved me”

“i’ve tried again and again and i’ve failed.”

“everyone expects it, the media, carlos, your family everyone so charles say you’ll be mine and we can run away together and be happy!”

“i can never say ‘yes’ with all my heart say i won’t say it and eventually you will look back at this and see that i was right and you’ll thank me for it, trust me when i say that.” 

“i would rather die then love someone that wasn’t you!”

“no y/n you’ll find the perfect man one day and you’ll love him ten times more than you loved me and you’ll see that there is love after heartbreak. you’ll see how we never would’ve worked and that this love you feel for me right now was nothing but the love of a friend. you’ll see how i would’ve made the worlds worst husband and that the way i do things is so unbearable.”

“anything else?”

“no... except from the fact that i don’t think i will ever love and marry someone as much as you did for me and i don’t mind because i’m happy how i am now.”

i shake my head, how can a statement be so untrue.

“you will love someone. you will live and die for them, waiting on their beck and call and i know that because it’s just true, and i will watch in the corner of sorrow and under the watchful pity eyes.”

“y/n...”

i walk away. the two normal beating hearts that entered the conversation are now like shards of glass and we both cry, even charles, the one that broke and stole my heart.

it’s been many years since that day yet, he still manages to haunt me, in my dreams, in the faces of the people i walk past day to day and yet i have gotten nothing but silence from you. i’ve been forced to move on with my life even if my heart is still stuck in my past and i can’t help but reminisce on what could’ve been. 

i’ve tried doing different things to get my mind off, which is why i am currently walking down the roads of monaco. the sun is beaming down on my face and for a moment i feel as if i am free, unaware that at the start of the street is arthur leclerc. 

little arthur leclerc, the one that would always try and barge into charles’ room whenever i was around and the one that had fallen in love with me, though i never took notice. i never noticed the way he lit up with joy whenever i was around, or how his cheeks were always a deep shade of red whenever i would speak to him. i didn’t notice because i was too in love with charles, or i was just blind. it’s probably both. 

arthur leclerc sits in the passenger seat of his friends car, who is chatting away, though arthur is not taking in a single word, too busy looking out at the world that surrounds him. he looks at all the people that are lost in their own world admiring how they look so peaceful, until he sees her,

the girl that made him realise love at first sight was real. she was the girl that made little him realise that just because he loves someone doesn’t mean they have to love you back. the girl that made him smile just because of her presence.

“y/n! stop the car! y/n!”  

he jumps out immediately, leaving his poor friend all alone in his car, though arthur doesn’t care as he runs towards the girl from his past.

“oh arthur! oh how you’ve grown! the last time i saw you, you were up to my shoulder, now look at you, i’m up to your shoulder!”

it’s true, arthur was a new man, he was handsome and so mature, he... well he looked like charles.. but better? i’m not sure. 

“yeah, it sure has been a long, long time! i was waiting to see you at the hotel party!”

“you were very hard to find and i couldn’t see you and trust me i looked far and wide!” 

“well you didn’t look hard enough”

“maybe we passed at one point but you’ve become so beautiful, i just coulnd’t recognise you!” 

he pulls a face at my compliment and laughs. 

“oh please”

“why? what did i say? i was just being hones-” i can’t keep a straight face and i burst out laughing, i never was a good actress or charmer.

“no, not at all. where’s your mother and father anyway?”

“they’ve gone to london, leaving me all on my own but it’s okay, at least i’m having fun”

“by having fun, do you mean drinking and clubbing and flirting?” his voice is teasing me and i don’t seem to mind, it’s been a while since i’ve seen him of course,

“oh please don’t tell your mother!” i tease him back, i’ve always loved his mother,

“well what are you doing here hmm? are you chasing some strapping young gentlemen.”

ouch. i know he’s joking but it still hurts to be reminded of what has happened in the past so i put on a half hearted smile on my face and say “no”

he instantly drops his cheerful tone and instead puts a more thoughtful and sombre look. 

“oh.. i... i couldn’t believe that charles turned you down, i thought it was all some joke at first, i’m sorry.”

“don’t be. you’re not charles so it’s okay and i expected it.”

“OI ARTHUR! COME BACK” arthur’s friend shouts, still sat in his car.

we laugh, a real one.

and as arthur runs back to the car he’s shouting “come to the new years party! everyones going so you wouldn’t want to miss out. oh and you can finally meet laura! meet me at the hotel at lets say seven and wear your nicest dress!”

“i will!” i say and then i am gone, my mind returning to the sad mood it was in earlier.

arthur watches from his seat, turning his head to meet the annoyed face of his pal.

“it’s y/n!”

“i know”

he looks at her again with so much love, the same amount he’s loved her since he met her.

it was gorgeous. the atmosphere, the decor, the banquet, everything, it was so beautiful, well at least what i could remember. arthur leclerc stands in the middle of the room chatting away, of course due to him being the favourite shining star in the room. he switches between dancing with his partner laura and then drinking with his friends, overall charming everyone that he passes by. but his mood goes sour after spotting me, in my drunken haze chatting obnoxiously with two men i had found on my way to the venue, sat on the sofa placed on the edge of the room.

he frowns and sighs as he pulls himself together to approach us without making a scene.

“y/n” he scolds, his hands placed on his hips.

“arthur” i reply back, mocking his tone of voice

“i waited and waited”

“i’ve been caught I waited an hour for you.”

“i’ve been caught gents” i say putting my hands up. 

arthur scoffs and turns around, walking away, which causes me to follow.

“arthur please, i’m sorry!”

“do you want to know what i really think of you y/n?”

“what do you really think about me?”

“i hate you. i hate you so much”

i can’t help but chuckle slightly at how blunt he sounds.

“why do you hate me arthur?”

“because instead of moving on and being happy you are too focused on the past, it’s unbelievable!”

“oh that’s interesting arthur.”

“well i mean selfish people do like to talk about themselves.”

“am i selfish then?”

“yes, very. what with your money, talent, beauty and health-”

“beauty you say?”

“of course you mention that you vain vanity. when you have all these gorgeous things around you, you can only focus on yourself.”

i go to grab his hand, wearing the ring that’s been there for many years.

my voice comes out mockingly as i say “i will be good for you mother arthur i swear!”

he sighs again.

“are you not disappointed with yourself?”

“no”

“you’ve never done a day of hard work in your life and the ring you’re wearing right now looks absolutely ridiculous.”

“charles gave me that ring”

 silence.

“i feel sorry for you and i wish you would just get over it.”

“you don’t have to feel sorry for me arthur, you’ll feel like this one day”

“no i won’t, i would rather be respected if i couldn’t be loved then act like a child.”

the next words i let out are nothing but my drunken words.

“what have you done recently anyway arthur? have you done any? or have you been too busy ogling over women that aren’t yours. poor laura clark. LAURA CLARK everybody.”

i leave the silent room quickly leaving arthur to pick up the pieces of the night. 

“i’m so sorry laura.”

it’s been a couple of days since everything went down at the new years party and yet arthur hadn’t been able to get the girl off his mind, even when he was driving on the bloody simulator! he wondered what was going on with him. was he sick in the head to imagine a different girl lying his bed instead of his very loving girlfriend?

“hello arthur!”

speak of the devil and she shall appear. 

“i don’t want to talk to or see you” 

“oh arthur my darling i’m so sorry for how i behaved, it was the alcohol that made me say it, please forgive me!”

i pout my lips at arthur, putting on my best puppy dog eyes,

“the alcohol you say... did you have some before coming to see me?”

“only a little, and i mean it is happy hour somewhere so you can’t expect me to not drink away. plus, i’ve only had a little so you can’t be too hard on me” 

my hands part slightly to show visually how much i’ve drunk, which if i must say so myself isn’t the same amount i normally 

“no one else is doing it, so i’m doing it”

i ignore him, focusing on the track he’s currently “driving”

“soooo when are you getting on the track, mr leclerc?”

he finally pauses the track to turn and face me,

“never.”

his face is sad but i can see he’s accepted his future,

“um what are you talking about. what do you mean ‘never’ “

“i mean that i am never going to be ‘arthur leclerc the best driver ever’, i am always going to be know as ‘arthur leclerc - chalres leclercs little brother’ “

“oh arthur that’s a strong statement to make, at what twenty?”

“well i’ve matured quicker. i see the world how it actually is and it’s made me realise that no matter how hard i try, i will always be in the shadows. so i gave up.”

he’s an idiot. a handsome one but still an idiot 

“why though? you have so much talent that shouldn’t be wasted.”

“well you should know that just because i have talent doesn’t mean i can make it. many people have this talent and yet they’ll never ever get as close to where i am right now. and i want to either be the best or nothing, no in-between and right now i am nothing so i will stay that way forever. ” 

i don’t say anything for a while. 

“so now that you’ve given up with racing, what are you going to do instead?”

“well i guess i will get a job and settle down, marry someone and have some kids.” 

i laugh.

“i guess that’s where laura comes in hm?”

he pushes me playfully and scoffs.

“don’t make fun, she makes me happy”

arthur knows that what he’s saying is true, but he just doesn’t mean it the way you would assume he means. laura is a nice girl, someone that makes him happy when he’s having a bad day, but only in a platonic way. he’s tried time and time again to make himself love her the way she does to him, but no matter how much he tries, he just can’t because when he closes his eyes, the girl that was his past is there. her haunting smile plastered on her face, eyes bright. 

“i’m not, trust me! though i have to ask, are you engaged to be wed yet?” 

“no...”

the air is tense between us, yet i can’t help but continue to ask questions.

“but one day you will be won’t you, you’ll get down on your knee for her soon won’t you.”

“probably, yes. she makes me happy”

“well that’s... nice but it sounds weird to hear arthur leclerc is planning to marry someone one”

“well i’ve always know i wanted a family young, so why should i be embarassed of that?” 

“no, i never said that i just mean that... just that as long as you love her that’s all”

“well i think we have the power to choose who we love and that it doesn’t just happen.”

“i think history would disagree with you.”

“well i am not history i am just a human. a human that wants to just make my family and friends proud. i want to have a family and a wife who i can love so very much. i want to support my family and i want to love whoever i want. i want to get over my past and focus on my present and future and yet i just can’t.”

the sound of a car honks, causing both of us to jump in fright. arthur speaks first

“that’s probably laura now,” he turns to me “how do i look? do i look okay.”

i look at him. i really look at him.

“you look.. you look so handsome, you are handsome arthur”

i don’t see it, but arthurs cheeks are now a deep shade of red. he attempts to smile it off and then runs off to meet with laura, leaving me to watch from the window. they embrace and they laugh and smile together and i can’t help but feel nauseous in my stomach but it can’t be jealousy. it’s just me feeling protective of this boy, the one i’ve known since i was a child. yes, yes that’s what i’m feeling.

a few more days have passed and me and arthur have managed to become great friends. i’ve also managed to bury my feelings, or whatever i’m thinking about him as well. we currently lay beneath a big oak tree in the park and we busy ourselves with the occasional conversation. arthur also busies himself, by occasionally sketching out a drawing. we’ve found peace in the world.

the silence is broken when arthur asks “y/n when are you going to see your parents?”

“oh, quite soon.”

“you’ve said that over a dozen times this month, trust me if i earned money every time you said that , i would be the richest person ever!” 

“well, short answers will always save trouble and i don’t know exactly when.”

“they expect you y/n, so why don’t you just go see them.”

“i’m not ready to go back i guess and if i go it means we won’t get to hang out together anymore.” 

i jump up and playfully swat him, bringing my hand up to punch him but he grabs it before i can even lower it. i stare at him long and hard, analysing ever single detail on his face. i really don’t get how i never noticed how good looking he was when we were young. and at least he notices me.

“what are you doing?”

“i’m looking at you.”

“no y/n, i mean what do you want to do with yourself?”

“i’ve been trying to write a play, figured that would be something that could get me somewher-”

“it’s a waste of your time.”

“well what better idea do you have for me?”

“go back to your parents and go back to uni and get your degree, just make something of yourself, doing something you enjoy.”

he returns to his sketching once again and i can’t help but become curious of what he’s drawing. arthur obviously notices my curiosity and hands me one of his old sketches, one he did years ago. it’s of me and charles, me staring at him and him looking off into the distance. pffft how much of an idiot was i? he didn’t see me as more than a friend and it was clear even if you took one glance at our behaviour towards each other, what with me always wanting to hold him close and look him in the eye and he only wanted to hang out with me. i guess i was just blinded by “love” to notice that the love wasn’t even love, it was friendship.

“when did you do this one?” 

“um that one was ... the day of the beach i think, the day i met laura” 

just the mention of her name, makes me want to run home and scream and cry into my pillow. god and she’s his fiancé as well. i feel bad because i haven't even met the girl but i just can’t seem to stop my blood from boiling and then i get this realisation in my mind. 

i’m in love with arthur leclerc. god, people must think i have an obsession with the leclerc brothers, but i can reassure you i don’t. i don’t see him as charles leclercs little brother anymore, i see him as arthur leclerc the boy who has made you the happiest women in the world by just being next to me, and never have i felt more grateful for that day on the hill, because that day i was set free and without that day i never would’ve seen arthur as anything less than a friends younger brother. yet i’m too late now, his heart has been stolen by another and i will never ever, get the chance to hold him close and feel his fingers running through my hair. i will never get the chance to speak to him about how much i love him without being rejected so horribly. i will never get to tell him that his laugh is like a drug to me and that his smile is a cure to all of my pain or that he is.. he is just everything to me. he is someone that a prince is based off of and maybe in another world, he would actually be my prince, but we don’t all get our happy endings.

“when is she coming back?”

“a week maybe two but when she gets back, we’ll start getting the planning together.”

i don’t know where i get the confidence to utter the next words but i do.

“don’t marry her.”

i prepare myself for the harsh rejection but all arthur can let out is a quiet

“what?”

“i said don’t marry her.”

my voice is louder this time and i’m sure he can hear what i’ve said.

“why?”

“you know why arthur...”

i take two steps towards him and go to grab his hand but he pulls away.

“no. stop it y/n... you’re being mean and you know it. you can’t just mess with my feelings like that, i’m not a toy.”

by now tears are slipping down our cheeks.

“why?”

“i have always been second to charles, in everything and you know it, but what you don’t know is the amount of times i’ve cried over you and the fact that charles had gotten the girl was heart braking and yet now you care when you feel like you like me back. y/n that’s not fair. you can’t just pick and choose when you want me. especially not now when i am happy-”

“but your not happy and you know that! i see the way you are with her, leading her on. you’re acting like charles did to me so don’t call me mean.”

“but you are y/n and i won’t stop this wedding just for you to love me for a month or two, no i won’t do it, not when i’ve spent my entire life loving you.”

it’s been a day since arthur last saw you and he already missed you like crazy. he really don’t know how charles managed to give up such an amazing girl like you, it was a topic he would often think about. either way, arthur couldn’t stop thinking about you and your sad eyes as he left you alone in a hurry. he rushes into his friends house, excited to actually finally have peace for the first time in weeks

“hello mate!”

“y/n was just here.”

“was she?” 

“yeah, she said she would be off to see her family for a bit” his friend nods and arthur can’t help but smile. 

“when will he be coming back here?”

“why do you care so much, what do you need to chat about so urgently?”

“... i just told laura that i couldn’t marry her.” 

“does you breaking up with laura have anything to do with y/n?”

“yes.”

he doesn’t even bother lying because he’s in love and no one is in his way. he can love the girl of his dreams freely, without shame and with the knowledge that she loves him back. wow, that feels nice to say.

i watch as arthur stands at the train station, waiting with his luggage, occasionally checking his watch, when i pull my car up, getting out and walking towards him slowly, still aware of the tension between us.

“i couldn’t let you go home alone and i figured i needed to go home as well, even if you hate me.”

“oh y/n i don’t hate you.”

“i love you” he wants to say, but he can’t.

we hug and when he pulls back he holds eye contact with me and says “i’m not marrying laura”

“i heard.”

“i didn’t do it for you, i did it for me so don’t you think for even one minute, that i did this for you, it’s because i realised, that i didn’t love her.”

i look at his face carefully, with nothing but love and affection, when i slowly take his face into my hands and kiss him. i kiss him slowly at first and then a bit quicker, arthur matching my movements, we kiss for the time that we could’ve been in love with each other and we kiss to grieve the time we lost, and i know that this is how it’s meant to be. this is what home feels like and this is what forever feels like. arthur is the one for me, 

meanwhile, charles sits with his mother, taking a break from the stress of the races, looking out at the world, thinking about his past and future, when suddenly, his mother speaks up.

“did you know that y/n is coming home soon?”

that makes charles interested, straight away lifting his head encouraging his mother to speak more.

“is she?”

she nods “arthur messaged, he’s coming home, he said he misses us dearly and he said that y/n will come home with him.” 

“hmm that’s nice of her to join him.” charles stands up quickly and begins to pace the room anxiously.

“what's wrong?”

“i think maybe... maybe i was a bit quick in turning down y/n.”

“well, do you love him?”

“i think that if she asked me again i would say yes.... but do you reckon she’ll ask me again?”

“i didn’t ask that charles... do you love her?”

“ i want to be loved.”

“you know that isn’t the same thing”

“i’m just so lonely ma”

“i know charles, but it’s okay.” 

charles suddenly feels the need to express his words for me, writing pages and pages. it reads:

‘dear y/n, i miss you more than i have ever missed anything. i haven’t been able to get my mind off of you for a couple days and i’ve realised that maybe letting you go was one of the worst i could’ve done. i think it was because i was young and i didn’t want to make such a big commitment that could possibly ruin our friendship, which was ruined anyway as soon as i said no. but time has moved on and i’ve matured and i’ve come to the realisation that i cannot live another moment without waking up beside you and that i was a fool to turn you down. i just hope that even after all this time i’ve still managed to stay in your heart because i can say without a doubt, you will always be in mine.”

once finishing the letter he places it on the pillow of the guest room, the one that the girl he loves will put her head on. he feels free after putting it down, finally being able to say the words that have been on this conscious for a while.

“charles” i say, nudging my friend out of his slumber. “charles.”

his eyes flutter open, widening once he sees me.

“y/n! oh y/n your really here!”

he jumps up and bundles me into a hug, one that makes me stumble backwards whilst wearing the biggest smile i had ever seen in my life.

“oh charles, did you miss me?”

i feel charles nod against me and i smile.

“i really did, you don’t understand and no words can express exactly how happy i am to see you either.”

“oh thank god, i thought that you would’ve forgotten about me. anyway, i wanted to speak to you, alone.”

“yes, yes what is it. come sit down.”

the air is different. it’s not like we’re twenty one again, always laughing and joking around with each other. no it isn’t like that at all, because we’ve grown up.  

he attempts to make a joke. “how was arthur, did he bother you on the flight with his constant chatter?”

i laugh and smile, just at the thought of arthur. 

“yes but i loved it.” 

“speaking of arthur, where is he? did he stop off somewhere before coming here?”

“he’s speaking to your mother, and you just know that no matter how hard i tried, there was no way i was getting my boyfriend out of her clutches.” 

i don’t see it, but charles’ face drops instantly as soon as the word ‘boyfriend’ leaves my mouth. boyfriend? arthur leclerc dating y/n y/l/n?

“your... your what?”

once i realise my mistake i sigh in dissapointment.

“oh god. now i’ve done it! we were supposed to keep it a surprise for dinner but look at me! i ruined it!”

“what surprise?”

 “well, that arthur finally plucked up the courage and finally asked me to be his girlfriend of course!”

“you and... arthur.” 

“yes, it happened very fast, one day we were just friends and then the next were in love.”

“are you really.... in love with him?” 

“yes. oh and charles i wanted to say just one more thing and then we can just sweep it under the mat forever. i have always loved you charles and i probably always will but the love i have for arthur is different.... you were right, by the way, we would've killed each other.”

“ye- yes.” 

“i think we were lucky to not go any further than a friendship so thank you charles.”

“oh,... y/n/n.”

 “did you know that no one calls me that apart from you.”

“what does arthur call you?”

“princess.” i’m joking of course but i don’t charles realises, once again proving that we are now different people. 

“that sounds like him. you deserve each other.”

“charles... can we still be friends?”

he swallows painfully and forces out his words.

“of course y/n, forever.”

we move to go downstairs, myself going to greet their mother again, whereas arthur meets charles at the bottom of the stairs, pulling him to another room.

“did y/n tell you?”

“yes.” 

arthur looks at him expectantly and charles feels the anger overtake him and he feels as if he could fight with arthur, just as they used to when they were children but manages to calm himself, reminding himself that getting angry with arthur would ruin the relationship he had with you, again. 

“arthur, i’m happy for you, i really am. it was written in the stars.”

“oh, thank goodness, i wish i could’ve told you myself but it just happened so fast and i was just really scared of how you would feel because, well you know why.”

"no, no. never.”

"so you aren’t angry?”

yes. yes he is but never would he say it out loud, it would be a secret he would take to the grave.

“life's too short to hold a grudge against your brother.” 

“thank you charles.”

and arthur really means it, because without charles no, arthur never would’ve gotten the girl of his dreams. without charles saying no, he would still be standing on the sidelines and he would forever be in debt with charles for that.

but charles didn’t mean it, because due to charles saying no, arthur got the girl of his dreams and due to charles saying no, arthur got to leave the sideline and now no amount of repaid debt would ever make charles’s heart feel half as full as it did when y/n was his best friend.

but y/n was never his, she was arthurs and he would just have to accept that.