#and i think they really could have made a better job with marco inaros

[mikimeiko]

The Expanse | Season 5 (2020-21), Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby

[tangledstarlight]

choices we make (they can define us)

SPOILERS for nemesis games and babylon's ashes. seven years after the ships vanished through the gate, filip makes a call that he should have a long time ago.

' He couldn’t change things with Marco. It was a ship that had long since sailed and vanished. But Naomi was still out there. If he wanted to, he could try to talk to her. To reach out and try to salvage the remains of a relationship they barely had to begin with. '

i just wanted a filip and naomi reunion moment in ab or pr or a whole novella i dont care so i made it myself ok. (first time i’ve done an expanse fic so like. be nice? ikd) 

also on ao3

Filip.

His name had been Filip Inaros once upon a time. He had meant to be part of something big, something amazing, something history altering.

And then he hadn’t been.

He had met his mother. He had met the people his actions affected. He had seen the destruction and wreckage he had caused in a new light. He had let the little voice in the back of his mind to get a foothold and power through.

He had thrown away his gun, his terminal, his uniform. He had thrown away his name.

As far as anyone knew, Filip Inaros had vanished and died through the ring gates with the remnants of the Free Navy and Marco. In a way, he supposed it was true. If you wanted the solar system and its inhabitants to think you were dead, there wasn’t really a more spectacular way to do so.

He had been sitting in the waiting area of the workers union, his attention, like everyone else's, had been on the screens showing fifteen ships speeding for the ring gate and the certain destruction of the lone gun ship on the other side. Filip doubted anyone else in the room had known the true significance of Marco’s hatred for the Rocinante and her crew.

And then all fifteen ships had vanished. Between one blink and the next. There then gone.

Filip could still remember the silence that had fallen over the room, over the whole station. Everything that happened after that was a blur. He couldn’t remember getting his job assignment. Or when he moved into a tiny crappy hole in the worst part of the station. For long months he just went through the motions of living while his brain came to terms with the sudden gaping loss in his life, his heart.

He should have been on the ship. Should have been strapped into one of the crash couches next to Marco. Should have vanished into atoms along with the rest of them. Should have. Should have . Should have . On repeat in his brain.

News of the Rocinante making its way back to Sol for some big important meeting broke through the fog in his mind. Life was still going on. People were scrambling and trying to fix all the problems Marco and his Free Navy had left behind. It was the first time he remembers hating him, for caring more about them and ‘wrongs’ they had caused him instead of the Belt.

They were supposed to show the Inners their strength, to build a better future for all Belters, do something history altering. All Marco managed to do was destroy the Earth and leave everyone on the verge of collapse and death, at the mercy of the Inners. All because Naomi Nagata had walked away from him twice and never looked back. He wanted to hate her for it too, but he couldn’t find the hate for her anymore.

Where they should have been celebrating victory, freedom, only Filip stood. Doing what he could to help fix the station he had helped wreck on his fifteenth birthday.

Because Filip Inaros had been meant to be part of this something big, something amazing, something history altering. And it hadn’t happened. It was a dream lost to the void and it’s place taken by Filip Nagata who wanted to try and ease the guilt simmering in his chest, wanted to be no one important, wanted to live his life based on his own choices.

Working on environmental systems was something he knew how to do, knew how to fix and improve. It gave his life a sense of monotony and he couldn’t complain. It was what he had chosen to do. But when the announcements came through that the newly formed Transport Union was looking to hire on crew for some of its new ships, Filip felt a longing for ship life he hadn’t even known was there.

 He wanted to be part of a crew again.

So he had signed up. No one had even looked at him twice when the name Filip Nagata was called and he found himself stretching out on his new bunk, smiling at the sounds of a ship around him.

He was pretty sure, if Marco was alive and could see him working for the union that had been James fucking Holden’s idea, he would have found himself in an airlock and a countdown to put on a vac suit. But Marco was gone – had been assumed dead for five years and counting – and the Belt had found its saviour in Michino Pa and a peace with the Inners even he couldn’t deny was beneficial to everyone.

They’d done everything Marco had promised, raised the Belt up from the ashes and gave them a voice. Made them strong and important in the new world order. Sometimes he wondered what Marco would think.

Alaya was born on Mars but had lived and worked on Ceres since she was fourteen and her family had relocated. She was part of the maintenance crew on the ship and they first met when Filip dropped noodles on her foot. She was sweet and funny, didn’t mind when he went quiet or that there were parts of his past he couldn’t talk about. She introduced him to new music and Martian shows he begrudgingly found funny, she was the first person he had been with for longer than a few nights before having to leave.

He was pretty sure he loved her.

So when the news came that her mother was dying and that she needed to come home, Filip went with her without a second thought.

Though the second thought came while they were in the middle of docking and he remembered Anderson Dawes banning him from Ceres for shooting a security officer and he wondered if anyone would recognise him despite the time that had passed and the change of his name.

Filip didn’t want his past to be revealed to Alaya because he was getting arrested or deported. The thought came that maybe it was time to tell her everything. Unburden his soul and hope she was there to catch him if he fell.

Seeing Alaya with her parents, the way they hugged each other, smiled and asked how she was, listened to her tell stories from the ship, it made Filip realise he had never really experienced it. The unconditional love of a family unit.

Because he had Marco by his side his whole life teaching him, helping him, preparing him for a life as a Belter in an self made army. He had spent his childhood on ships and surrounded by people who said they loved him and cared about him like family. But Marco had never sat down and listened to him talk the way he was seeing now. Never asked him what he wanted to do with his life. And he would never get the chance to change that now.

Because Naomi had left before he could really remember her, forced out by someone trying to make her someone she wasn’t. Forced to leave him behind because everyone said she was crazy for not wanting to kill Inners like a true Belter. And Filip was old enough now, had had enough time to think about the past to realise how much it had probably hurt her to leave him behind, how much strength it had probably taken to keep living after. He couldn’t hate her for it anymore. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready to wholly forgive her either.

He couldn’t change things with Marco. It was a ship that had long since sailed and vanished. But Naomi was still out there. If he wanted to, he could try to talk to her. To reach out and try to salvage the remains of a relationship they barely had to begin with.

The whole idea was terrifying.

He found a secluded corner and opened up a new comm and looked at himself in the little viewing window. His hair had grown longer after months on the ship and there were signs of patches of hair on his face from the beard he was attempting to grow. He wondered if she would recognise him. He found himself hoping she would. If he sent the message it would leave the choice up to her about what happened next.

Maybe she wouldn’t even care.

He needed to know if she cared.

“Naomi, it’s Filip. Thought I should tell you I never got on the Pella when he went after you. Know I should have sent this long time ago and but I–” he paused looking away from the terminal and tried to find the right words for what he wanted to say. Seven years of emotions wanting to spill out. “Didn’t know if you’d want to know. Didn’t know how to say it, yeah? Told me to find you if I wanted to die. Didn’t want to die, me, just wanted out. So got out. Spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I am in the last few years. Got people I care about, people who care about me. Want to be someone who helps fix things, not break them. And wanted you to know that I’m okay,” It seemed like an insignificant explanation but it was the best he could do. “That I’m living a life I like. Been thinking me, yeah? On Ceres for a while, lots of time to think about things. About the past. Me and you, if you wanted, still chance to get to know each other, yeah? Past is past but we still got chance for a future maybe.”

Filip looked at himself in the viewing window, trying to decide if there was anything else he wanted to say. He could still delete the message, push his terminal back in his pocket and pretend he’d never thought about it. But then he remembered watching Alaya and her mom just that morning as they drank coffee and talked quietly together about plans they might not get to have.

He pressed send and tried not to think about it for the rest of the day.

☆☆☆

Naomi.

The message came through while Naomi was alone on the ops deck and in the middle of checking through their inventory, flagging what they needed to get once they hit Ceres. She had been expecting a response from someone about discounted replacement parts so hit play without checking the recipient. Her heart stuttered a beat as Filips voice filled the silence.

“Naomi, it’s Filip. Thought I should tell you…” She stopped listening. Her heartbeat echoing in her ears as all she could do were stare at the screen, at her boy as he talked. Not dead. He wasn’t dead. Naomi wasn’t sure she was breathing. Wasn’t sure she knew how to breathe anymore.

She had left him twice, had lost him three times. She had mourned. Had been mourning since the day she first left Ceres. And had never thought she would hear his voice again, see his face. The message had stopped play, was frozen on the screen with Filip facing the camera but looking away, jaw clenched like he was struggling with something. Forcing a breath out through her mouth, Naomi counted to five slowly before she played the message again, prepared to hear his voice this time and listened to what he had to say.

She listened to it another five times and didn’t notice when she started crying. She didn’t hear Jim coming up in the lift until he was standing behind her.

“Shit is that–?” He didn’t finish the sentence as Naomi paused the message and turned around in her chair, using the chuffs of her coveralls to wipe at her cheeks.

“Filip. He’s not dead.” Those three words started repeating themselves in her head, bouncing around as she tried to believe them. He’s not dead. He’s not dead. He’s not dead. He’s not dead.

“Shit,” he said again as if it was the only thing thought in his head. She couldn’t blame him. Her thoughts weren’t any more coherent right now either. “Can I?” Jim gestured to the message, asking permission to hear it. Naomi played it again, listened to it for the sixth time. Listening to it with someone else made it feel more real, made her believe it wasn’t a dream.

The two of them sat in silence for long seconds after it finished both of them lost in their own thoughts and emotions.

“What are you going to do?” Jim asked his eyes on hers and a small smile on his lips. As if he already knew what she was going to do before she had even decided.

“He wants to get to know me. I–,” Naomi shook her head once and closed her eyes to order her thoughts, her emotions. There were too many to sort through, so she clung to the joy and relief and new found hope. She could worry about the rest later. Opening her eyes she let out a deep breath and turned to face Jim with a small smile of her own. She knew he would support her whatever her choice. “I need to reply. Tell him I want the chance too.”

“Okay. Want me to keep everyone out of here while you do it?”

“Gonna do it in our room. Quiter. Might take me a while.” She got up from her crash couch, stretching her arms above her head, paused to kiss Jim on the cheek once before heading towards the lift, already trying to work out what she was going to say. She stopped before she headed down, looking back to Jim as he watched her. “Can you tell the others, please?”

“Of course. I’ll be in the galley if you need me.” And she knew he meant it, if she needed him for anything he would be there. She loved him for it, even more for him knowing she needed to do this alone.

Alone in her and Jim's room, Naomi sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her terminal. Everything she wanted to say seemed insignificant, seemed too small, seemed too late for the situation they were in. But he had reached out to her, and Naomi wasn’t about to let him go again. Opening the message she let it play again, using the minutes to calm her racing heart and focus her thoughts. When the prompt to reply flashed, she hit it.

“Hello Filip. I– thank you doesn’t seem like the right thing to say, but it’s the only thing I can think of. Knowing that you’re not– knowing that you’re okay, it’s something I never thought I’d hear you say. I’m glad you’re okay. All I ever wanted was for you to be okay, to be happy, yeah?” She tried to smile, hoping it came across as genuine and not so grimaces as it did to her. “You have been part of my heart from the second you were born, I’ll take being part of your life in anyway you’ll let me. We’re docking on Ceres in a few weeks, if you want we could meet? Talk, dinner on me,” she shrugged with one hand, trying to nonchalance but failing and not caring. “Up to you. I'm glad you’re okay Filip, I hope you’re happy too.”

She didn’t stop to review it, knowing she would never be able to make it perfect the way she wanted it to be. There probably wasn’t a way to make it perfect, this wasn’t really something people did every day. She just hit send, watching as the file loaded and zipped off at lightspeed along with all the hope she didn’t know she still had.

The reply came two days later while she was in the galley with Bobbie as they stood around the coffee machine. It must have been obvious from the look on her face what it was.

“Want me to go?” She asked and it took Naomi a split second to decide she didn’t want to be alone this time.

“No, no it’s okay. Stay,” she looked up at her over the top of her terminal and Bobbie gave her a reassuring smile as Noami took a deep breath and hit play. She was ready for his voice this time, ready to see his face. It still felt like a punch to the gut though. It was a short message.

“Dinner sounds good. Things to talk about, no light delay make it easier, yeah?” There was a hint of a smile in his voice she thought, or maybe it was just wishful thinking. “Send details after you dock.” It seemed like that was all he had to say as he a small furrow appeared between his brows before it vanished and he spoke again. “I am happy. Glad you’re okay too.”

Naomi blew out a breath and closed her eyes. He wanted to meet, have dinner, talk. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry or shout with joy. Instead she let out a strangled sounding laugh.

“That’s good, right?” Bobbie asked and Naomi opened her eyes at the hint of concern she heard in the Martians voice.

“Yeah, no yeah this– shit this is good. I didn’t...I didn’t think he’d want to meet.” She accepted that her relationship with him would consist of short messages and that would be okay. Being able to see him in the flesh seemed unreal. Last time it hadn’t exactly ended well. Idly, Naomi wondered home many second chances she would get at this.

Bobbie squeezed her shoulder once and smiled.

“We’ll brainstorm some good places for you two to have an easy meeting. I don’t think any of our usual haunts are gonna cut it, karaoke and emotional reunions doesn’t seem like a good fit.”

Naomi laughed shaking her head a little but what Bobbie said worked to calm her thoughts down, easing her anxiety for a moment. She had just under two weeks to figure out a plan. She could do that.

☆☆☆

Filip.

Filip leaned against a wall opposite the entrance of Clock Work and tried to keep his fingers from tapping against his thighs as he waited. He’d already thought about turning back three times on his walk here and he was pretty close to making that four times. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he didn’t need questions answered or a relationship with his estranged mother. He could push away from the wall and walk back to the hole him and Alaya were renting and knew she wouldn’t judge him for it. He balled his hands up into fists.

It wasn’t until the reply from Naomi came that Filip knew he needed to tell her about his past. It hadn’t been as bad as he’d expected. She had had a lot of questions. They’d both cried. She’d told him he was a good man. He didn’t think she was right about that. But she had convinced him that meeting Naomi would be a good thing for them both.

“You said it yourself, she wants to try. You’ve both got questions and only the two of you can answer them for each other. You go. You sit and you talk. If at the end you don’t want to see her again, you’ve gotta hope she’ll respect that. If you want to get to know her more then at least you’ve got a starting point.”

So he’d said yes. And then gotten a text message two days ago asking if he was free today during the second shift and could meet at Clock Work two levels up from the docks. He’d almost said no before he had agreed. He really hated waiting.

Ten minutes before agreed upon time Filip saw her come around the corner. Her hair was longer and the way she held herself seemed different from he remembered, though he guessed when you weren’t somewhere against your will it did change the way you walked. For a moment Filip considered – for the fifth time, but who was keeping count? – turning away. He still had time, she hadn't spotted him yet.

And then she did. She hesitated midstep, causing people to swerve around her with annoyed grunts but she didn’t seem to notice. She was just looking at him. Deep down Filip was pretty sure if he decided to turn away now she wouldn’t follow him. He pushed away from the wall and took a step towards her, towards the tiny restaurant she had picked and she followed him. Neither of them talked while they entered and picked a booth at the back, not that it mattered, the place was empty.

“Glad you came, wasn’t sure you would,” Naomi said and there was a small hesitant smile there. He was glad she was finding this as hard as he was, and didn’t miss the honesty in the statement.

“Thought about turning back couple of times.” If she could be honest, he could too.

The silence between them was awkward and tense with so many different emotions he didn’t know which they were meant to address first. Maybe there was too much past in their past to move on from. They each ordered without talking and Filip began scratching at a part of the table top that was peeling away. When Naomi broke the silence he startled.

“So do you live on Ceres or just visiting?” Present was the safe subject, he wondered if she was building up to talking about the past.

“Visiting. I–” he paused deciding if he wanted to talk about working for the Transport Union, about Alaya. It only took him a few seconds to decide he did. “After, lived on Callisto for a while, working on the environmental systems there, helped set up the new ones for the shipyard. Transport Union put out adverts for crew for some of their new ships, yeah? ‘Bout two years ago. I signed up. Work the Inners’ roots, don’t go through the rings. Met this girl. Alaya. Her– Her mom’s sick, she needed to come back home, I came with her.” He shrugged with his hands and dared a look at Naomi, to try and guess what she was thinking. He couldn’t decide what he saw on her face.

“Alaya. Wh-What’s she like?”

So Filip told her. About how they’d first met, about how she made him laugh, about how she was going to force him to visit Mars one day but that he was kind of excited about it. And he asked her questions too. About what she had been doing, what it was like going through the ring gates, visiting the new worlds. He didn’t mention Marco and she didn’t either. It went unsaid that in all her stories James Holden was present too, but that wasn’t a subject either of them were ready to touch yet.

They ate when their food came, keeping up their steady stream of easy conversation. He was smiling at her without thinking by the end of their meal and he found himself asking one of the questions that had always bugged him.

“Why him?”

She didn’t ask who he meant and she went quiet for a moment, frowning down at her bowl like she was thinking something through. When she blew out a breath and looked back up at him Filip knew he’d ended the time for pointless topics.

“After I left here the first time, ran away and signed up with the first long haul ship I could find, I shut myself down. Tried not to care about things like before. Promised myself I wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice, that I wouldn’t ever follow the fanatics or let people control me. Leaving you, broke something in me. Something I’ll never be able to fix. Didn’t leave looking to find someone new. Me and Jim,” she paused, and Filip watched a soft smile touch her lips as she shrugged at him, “Not something either of us was looking for or expecting. He’s...he’s there when I need him and knows when I need to be alone. He always respects my choices even if he doesn’t understand them. He doesn’t try to fix the broken things in me, doesn’t mind my past. He makes me laugh. He loves me and I love him. Can’t always choose who you love Filip, but I’d always choose him.”

Her hands were on the table, palms up and open. If he wanted to he could reach across and hold her hand, squeeze it and tell her he understood. Because, he did understand. Someone loving you despite your past was something he was just beginning to understand, he couldn’t hate her for finding that and not wanting to let it go.

He reached across and up his hand in hers. There was a split second where she didn’t react, frozen by the sudden contact, and then her fingers were wrapping around his and they were both squeezing a little too tight.

“Why did you decide to leave?”

Now it was her turn to ask a big question. His fault for starting the conversation down this road.

“Marco he–” Filip frowned a little not knowing why it was hard to talk about this with Naomi, “He said we were going to help the Belt. That everything about the Free Navy was to help the Belt to independence, to make it stronger. Kept said we were winning when we were just running away. And we were hurting the Belt too, yeah? Not helping. Reason Belters were dying. All he cared about was racing to the ring, to stop or kill you and Holden. Not about the Belt anymore. Nothing was his fault, all someone else's,” he stopped, trying to figure out where his thoughts were. He didn’t know how to explain it in a way that made sense.

“Wasn’t just one thing. Lots of little things, became big things. Way he treated me. Always a new plan pretending to be the original because the first one failed. Didn’t wanna be part of it anymore. You were right, yeah? Always got the right to walk away. So I did.”

“It must have been hard.”

Filip shrugged, he tried not to think about those first few days after he threw away his terminal, and had decided to leave everything behind. He wasn’t even sure he could remember what had happened, everything had been a haze back then. Tears pricked at his eyes and Filip used his free hand to wipe at them. He swallowed down the lump in his throat as Naomi squeezed his hand again.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you then. Here for you now though,” there was such kindness in her voice Filip couldn’t help but look at her or stop the smile.

“Okay.” He didn’t know what else to say. Didn’t seem to matter, she seemed to accept the answer for what it was. Clearing his throat once Filip slowly pulled his hand back, tried not to notice the frown he saw on her face. “Should be going. Said I’d help Alaya with something.”

“Right, of course,” she smiled at him and then shook her head when he reached out to pay his share of the tab. “Said I’d pay. Meal on me, remember? You can get it next time.” It was asking the question without even asking it. He was grateful she did and he wouldn’t be left wondering if maybe this was a one time thing.

“Yeah. There’s a place I know that does good kibble. Always got fresh spices,” he gave her a smile.

Saying goodbye brought back the air of awkwardness, though not as obvious as before. Neither of them seemed to know what to do with their hands, both knew they weren’t at a hugging stage but just parting without anything seemed wrong. Before he could decide if a handshake was worse then nothing Naomi grabbed his hand in both of hers and squeezed once, giving him a smile.

“Thank you. For all this. For reaching out. Kibble next time. Oyedeng, Filip. Stay safe, yeah?” She squeezed his hand again and then let go.

“Yeah. Bye, Naomi. See you again soon.” He didn’t wait to see if she watched him walk away, and he didn’t look around to watch her leave either. He just walked.

There was still a lot of pain and hurt between them, Filip didn’t know if they would ever be able to clear the air fully, but he was glad they had the chance to try now. He was glad to have a chance to get to know her. Would even – one day – be glad to know her new family. It was a long way off but knowing the choice was there meant everything.

[prixmiumarchive]

Conservation of Mattering

Naomi Nagata has endured more than her fair share of pain for the sake of her relationship with her child's father. She has finally reached her limit and decides to leave. However, escaping the grasp of someone like Marco Inaros isn't going to be easy without a lot of help.

I have no idea if I am going to keep this pace up, but I was so excited to get likes, kudos, and comments in my first 24 hours and I wanted to get to some more of the content I had in mind. Here goes with...

Chapter 2 (on AO3 and below)

Jim Holden breathes in just over the spout of his coffee cup. His nose scrunches at the acrid smell. He sighs and lifts his chin. After a moment, he levels his head and takes a sip while the burnt liquid is almost too hot for it to matter.

He doesn't flinch. It's something less than that when he feels the hot liquid rush too quickly into his mouth and leave an unpleasant, dry feeling inside his lower lip. He had passed an agility test to get this job, and yet he expects so little to happen that his radio going off startles him. It had just felt like one of those days when nothing that made his job feel like it mattered happened. Then, he's listening to a familiar crackle and voice. He sets the coffee cup down in its holder.

The man on the other end of the radio dispatches quick, coded, fragmented information about what he wants Jim to do. There is a child somewhere. His father thinks he might be at a certain address. Jim takes note of it. The voice on the other end rambles on with a little bit of conjecture that Jim filters as he secures his seat-belt and revs up the car. The guy sounded distraught but he doesn't buy it. Not the kind to be. Quick to point fingers. Typical territorial dispute but over a child. He's surprised that the likes of this guy would get the police involved. Jim clears his throat and engages the radio when he's ready to pull out onto the road.

“Got it,” he confirms, and he has – more than enough. “I'll go see if the kid's there. Check on him.”

“Yeah, but—” the dispatcher says.

Jim knows he needs to interrupt him, a knowing little smirk creeping onto his face.

“Is there anything else I need to know?”

A crackle of uncertainty that is half-static and half bored huff answers him.

“Just pretty typical welfare check stuff, right?” Jim asks, reassurance more than anything else.

“You got it,” the dispatcher says, the pout clear in his tone.

“Got it,” Jim echoes, actually pressing his tongue into his cheek for a second. His lower lip still feels a little weird.

“Holden,” the man chimes in just as Jim thinks he's clear to pull out into traffic.

“Yeah?” he asks, a little more tightly.

“Don't go in there playing a hero,” Jim hears. He can't help but almost roll his eyes. Since when has he had the chance to try? “You're not in there to save this kid from whatever he's growin' up in. Not by yourself. If he's in danger, you do something. If he's not there, you follow protocol. If he's safe, you follow it up.”

“Anything else?” Jim sighs, his shoulders tightening and pushing back a little. He could cite rank or qualification or a number of other things, but he doesn't.

“Don't tie anything in a knot. I just know you,” the man replies with a downward inflection that makes Jim think it's safe to drop the conversation, so he does.

It is a long walk up to Camina Drummer's apartment. Jim takes the stairs for two reasons. The first is that it seems more professional – the blood pumping a little faster and fluttering under his ears makes him feel alert. The second is that the elevator seemed as if it had already seen its better days. The stairwell isn't that much better with a musty smell of aged alcohol, baby powder, stale bread, and something weird like clay – like a school but sicker.

His lungs hold out to the appropriate floor. He is in control of his breathing, his heart rate already slowing down by the time he finds the right apartment number. He stands there for just a moment, straightening his posture. Then, he lifts a hand and raps on the door – hard and deliberate – willing this trip not to have been pointless.

He hears the rattle of the door unlocking behind it. The purpose behind the visit becomes a lot more real as the crack widens, and he rehearses the kid's name one more time in his head – Filip Inaros. He really hopes the kid is okay.

The woman who opens the door tilts her head in such a way that the dark, heavy ponytail hanging from it moves like a whip. Jim notices the way she leans on the door frame, and he almost instantly recognizes that she is trying to block something from his view. He knows it, but for just a moment he lets her take the lead. Before she says a word, she is eying him like she is searching out how he ticks. She is a sharp presence, needling her way through something with her eyes.

“Can I help you, Officer?” she asks. Her voice carries out over the words, and judging by the posture and the drawl and the laser focus of her eyes, she reminds him of other people who might have tried to use charm to work their way out of trouble. This woman isn't doing that. She seems to be trouble and to embrace it more than she has any pretense of avoiding it. She makes him very aware of the hardware he carries with him even though he hasn't had the slightest temptation to use it.

“Are you Ms. Drummer?” he asks.

“I am,” she says. She doesn't offer to budge.

“I'm Officer Holden,” he finds little choice but to offer in response. “And I'm looking for someone.”

In the short pause he gives her, she keeps staring right at him.

“Who is it?” she asks.

“A child,” Jim says with a tone that he means to impart the seriousness of his interest in this assignment. He watches her as she watches him, feeling out her response.

She breaks eye contact first. She looks down and folds her arms over her chest. She shrugs, but it isn't weak or broken. Even withdrawing seems like a quickly calculated move.

“Lots of them around here.” She pauses for a second. “Kids are expensive,” she adds.

He isn't quite sure where that came from, even if it's the truth.

“I'm looking for Filip Inaros,” he says. He notices the tightening of her brow, and he doesn't have to have years of interrogation training to know what that means.

“And why did you show up looking for him here?”

It's a good performance, but the better it is the more worried Jim gets. He is ready to step around her, but keeping people calm in this kind of situation is a better idea.

“Ms. Drummer,” he says, warning her a little. He hopes it's a nudge in the right direction.

“That's my name,” she confirms, and the tone almost irritates him. He's talking about a child.

“Stop it,” he hears a second voice – differently accented English – coming from behind her.

Camina Drummer looks around her shoulder but still seems determined to stay rooted in her place at the door frame. He can sense her wavering, though, and he takes a single step forward. He hasn't pushed his way through the available gap yet. He has more than enough probable cause to enter without an invitation, but he thinks he can still afford to wait – especially now, hearing that voice.

“Stay there,” Camina says to her friend. It's soft and a little reluctant. Of course, there is no way he can pretend he can't hear her, even if he wanted to.

“No, this is...” the other woman says, and then he hears soft footsteps. A hand takes hold of Camina and pulls her back just a couple of half-steps, and the other woman stands before him. She seems like she is trying to center herself in her own gravity, shoulders too tense and close to her ears. She pockets her hands, trying to disguise it. “I'm Naomi Nagata,” she says, introducing herself without reaching out of changing posture. She does meet his eyes, though, and he holds hers. “Filip's mother,” she explains.

For some reason, Jim becomes aware of the strange, burnt, dry feeling just inside his lower lip. His tongue clicks softly before he manages to speak. His hand pats his uniform down for a pocket, and he fiddles with it until he produces a notepad and a pen. He can feel Camina's eyes on him, but he doesn't take his off Naomi's.

“And where is your son?” he asks.

At that moment, Naomi turns away, her head hanging down a little. She starts to go back the direction she came, and Jim feels his heart sink.

“Right here,” Naomi says softly.

Jim looks at Camina, meeting her eyes without saying a word for a second. Just before he is about to ask her permission, Camina seems to read it in his face and she throws up her hands dramatically and with some disgust. She steps out of the way, and while she does not invite him inside, she stops blocking the path. He steps through the doorway.

He feels the soles of his shoes catch something a little sticky just over the threshold on the cheap, pocked vinyl. He takes another step and the sticky feeling is gone, but in more than one place it seems laid a little too loosely – an air bubble or two hidden beneath. He looks around, orienting himself quickly. He notices the abrupt divide between vinyl and carpet, and Naomi has crossed over to the other side.

She has knelt down on top of a blanket. Its smooth texture is dusted with the fuzz of having been laundered over and over. It is printed with a myriad of pastel shooting stars.

On the blanket, Naomi has positioned herself alongside the little baby boy with healthy, fat arms and cheeks that somehow resemble his mother's. He is very busy shaking a bubble from one segment of a decorative teething ring to another. He reaches up and shakes it with determination. In the midst of this motion, Naomi makes a move of her own and scoops him up off the floor.

Filip makes a startled noise of protest, but lucky the teething ring only shifts a little and starts to slide down his tiny forearm. On his own, he couldn't correct it, but once she is on her feet again Naomi performs a quick little assessment and helps the thing back into his hand. Immediately, he jams one segment into his mouth and gums it. This seems to stave off any further complaint for a moment as he settles into the practiced crook of his mother's arm.

She turns to Jim.

“Here,” she says. The word strikes his ears a little strangely. Maybe it's because 'here,' might indicate some kind of relinquishment, giving up under different circumstances. Here, this woman makes absolutely no move to bring her child any closer. He is safe held against her chest, and while she stands she does not move.

“Hi there, little guy,” Jim says. He focuses on Filip's face, and he only manages to glean his attention for a split second. He uses it to tap his temple with his fingertips and to greet him with a little salute. Filip makes a sound that – if he actually spoke baby – he might think was skeptical. He doesn't speak baby, though. Never had the chance. It is only after watching Filip pulse his gums a little bit on the ring a few times that he realizes Naomi is still looking at him like a doe caught in sudden, blinding light. She still looks scared and like he doesn't belong here at all. He doesn't and shouldn't be here longer than he has to be.

Jim clears his throat. He flips the cover on the notepad to a blank page, whatever more effective means of note-taking he might have at his disposal. He doesn't write anything down but looks at the pad's faint blue lines anyway. He looks back at her eyes.

“Are you aware that your child's father doesn't know where your son is?” he asks.

“He sure as fuck knew where to send you,” Camina chimes in. She has retreated some distance back over the vinyl divide, her back pressed to part of the laminate counter. Her arms are folded across her chest. He can sense her animosity, but his ego can handle it. He just glances at her and back to Naomi.

“He suspected you might be here, but he reported your child as having been taken for 48 hours without his knowledge or consent,” he explains to Naomi.

He hears a bitter laugh behind him, off to the side.

“Oh, what bullshit,” Camina muses. He filters her out – almost. It's hard to do.

Naomi just looks down, well past Filip's feet – covered in tiny socks.

“It's not true,” she says softly.

“It isn't?” Jim presses.

Naomi shakes her head. She lifts her eyes and takes a deep, visible breath.

“It's not,” she says. “He knew I was leaving.”

Jim lets the words settle on him for just a moment. He looks at the baby, slobber dribbling from the ring and down his chin – onto his shirt and, to some extent, Naomi's. She doesn't seem to notice. Jim as never been around a younger sibling or anything like that, but judging from looking at the kid he's less than a year old. He looks at Naomi. She looks resilient but there is an exhaustion in her eyes that might stick with him for days. He thinks it might be something beyond just being a young mom.

He swallows hard enough to notice, to feel it.

“Do you have joint custody?” he thinks to ask. It isn't exactly his area of expertise. That's another argument, another discussion, that he's never lived through first-hand.

“I...” He notices Naomi look over at Ms. Drummer as she hesitates. He doesn't look back to see if there is any answer forthcoming. Naomi seems to give up without much shift in her expression as she looks in him the eye. “I don't know,” she explains, frowning a little.

“So this has never been a discussion between yourself and... Mr. Inaros?”

“He'd never let it be,” Camina chimes in again with a rough scoff.

“Drum,” Naomi scolds in turn.

“Sorry. Just trying to help you tell the nice policeman the truth,” Camina says.

“... Sorry,” Naomi repeats, a little more lowly. “About her,” she says, gritted teeth and a pointed glance. It doesn't last long, though. “No, sir, the discussion never came up between Marco and me.”

“So you removed the child from the home without his permission?” Jim realizes that he hates the way it sounds when she says 'sir' like that. He also asks the next question that seems like the right one, by the book at least. Naomi nods quickly. She looks at him as if realizing something. She shifts her arm and takes a step back.

Jim lifts his hand as he reads in her body language everything he needs to know about it. He shakes his head.

“Filip doesn't look like he's in any danger here,” he assures her. He can't help giving her friend a glance, but he doesn't think Ms. Drummer is any kind of threat either. Not to the baby, at least. “I'm not here to take him or you anywhere,” he says.

He notices Naomi breathe. She nods. He doesn't know if she's grateful, but part of him insists that she shouldn't need to be.

“So, what are you here to do Officer...” Naomi looks at the engraved, thin rectangle affixed to his chest, “Holden?”

“I'm just here to check on him and report back,” he says, very honestly. He doesn't even think about filtering it for her ears. She needs to know.

“Report back...” Naomi says like the very thought of it bothers her.

Jim winces internally but does his best not to let it show on his face. He still has to nod tightly.

“This is just a welfare check. We'll... see where it goes from here,” he says. He takes a small step back – not retreating, he thinks, but he realizes that there is a part of him that really, really just wants to leave her – and the baby – safe, as if he'd never gotten involved. He hears his shoe heel touch vinyl again.

“But you're gonna tell him where I am,” she sighs.

“He already knew,” Camina offers. There is defiance in her voice that Jim actually likes.

“If you're trying to... leave there are... people that can help with that,” Jim finds himself saying. It's loud enough – not quite a murmur – but it isn't the smoothest statement to ever come off his tongue.

“What are you now? A—” Ms. Drummer starts to challenge him, but he steps far enough back that he can easily look between them both.

“I'm not giving you any kind of legal advice. That was just... me talking as a fellow human being. Not a cop,” he explains.

“Oh, is that what you are now?” Ms. Drummer asks, tilting her head with a focused glare.

Naomi looks across the room at her, and Jim thinks he sees something like the ghost of a weary smile on her face.

“Drum,” she scolds, “are you trying to get arrested?”

“Wouldn't be the first time,” Camina drones.

“I'm also not here to arrest anybody,” Jim offers.

“Don't,” Naomi demands, cutting Camina off.

The tension is suddenly so thick and fragile that it's almost funny. Jim presses his lips into a tight line, breathes through it, and then it is gone. He flips the notepad closed without having written down a thing. He repacks his pockets and shows one hand in a gesture of vague surrender – at least of something.

“I've seen what I need to see,” he assures them. He turns to find the door handle and places his hand on it. “I can see myself out. I'm sure someone'll be in touch, but the kid's okay. That's what's important.”

Jim feels like a flat collection of platitudes trying not to say anything that might actually help anyone when he fumbles with the doorknob a little and lets himself back out into the hall. He gives a cordial wave that he barely feels and murmurs some equally platitudinal goodbye.

The hall is floored with a cheaper weave of carpet that looks like a cross between itself and equally cheap field turf. It is worn by feet and a strange gray-green-blue that seems unnatural even to bits of itself. He shouldn't notice the floor as much as he does, and when he becomes aware of it, he levels his gaze to the end of the hall and the sign for the stairwell.

He pauses when he hears the soft click of a door opening behind him. He glances back. He is still close enough to overhear them.

“Hold him for a second,” Naomi says softly.

“Hold him?” Camina asks. He hears the movement of feet. He hears Filip's voice, clear of the muffle of his teething ring, make a sudden, alarmed sound. He hears Naomi making a soothing, hushing sound. “Shit,” Camina says. Jim thinks she and the baby are expressing the same thing.

“I'll be right back,” Naomi insists.

“You say that,” Camina calls after her as Naomi backs into the hallway.

Jim turns to wait, realizing that she is coming after him.

“But this happens every time I hold this kid,” Camina continues, her voice somewhat quieted by the door falling halfway closed with a soft squeak.

Naomi's arms are straight at her sides. He notices her fingers fidget as they form little fists and relax again. He quickly lifts his eyes back up to hers.

“Ms. Nagata?” he asks with no trouble.

“Uh, yeah,” she responds. “Mister,” she says, and she frowns as if that isn't quite the word she had been going for. He at least gets the spirit behind it and stands there, still waiting. “Just... listen for a second,” she requests.

He nods without any hesitation. He feels something relax in his forehead, if anything.

“I... don't know what they teach you in cop-school,” she remarks. He suddenly really wonders where this is going. “But I'm hoping it includes that there's some stuff people can't tell you and some stuff you can't understand, even if you are a cop...”

Jim is very quiet. Of course she is right that he doesn't know everything, but he's not sure a fellow cop ever tried to teach him that except where it came to the chain of command. He remembers to nod when he realizes she hasn't continued.

“... Just, there's some things I can't say 'cause I don't even know how to say them yet,” she says quickly. She glances back toward the doorway at the sound of Camina's voice.

“Aunt,” Camina is grumbling in something that is trying to approach a friendly coo. “Or godmother?” she suggests. That one doesn't sound right at all coming from her. “Or even bodyguard,” she continues. “So why can't you just trust me?”

Naomi's face relaxes a little into a smirk of some schadenfreude tinged with regret as Filip makes his opinion on the matter known with abrupt, complaining cries.

“But I just know I can't be there anymore,” Naomi says, more urgently now. “And I know my son belongs with me. So I think that means... he shouldn't be there, too.” Her brow ticks down and relaxes as if something crosses her mind and then goes somewhere else entirely. She starts to turn away, reaching for the door again. “Just... think about it?” she says, and he thinks it's a request. Then, she turns her back and goes back inside. She closes the door and he hears the locks rattle. The baby's crying softens a little and she's gone.

[aion-rsa]

The Expanse Season 4 Recap: Ilus, the Ring Gates and the Cliffhanger Ending

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Warning: contains spoilers for The Expanse season 4

At the beginning of The Expanse season four, the show’s characters stood at the crossroads of a brave and expansive new world, as did the cast and crew in their new home at Amazon. It was a marriage made in heaven. The Expanse was bigger, slicker, bolder, and grittier, but just as gloriously deep, rich and complex as ever. As season five gets ready to drop, let’s remind ourselves of the ups, downs, ins, outs, fights, smites and subterfuge of season four. We’ll start with the set-up and then look at each of the main locations/groups in turn, leading up to the season’s denouement and planet-busting cliffhanger. Major spoilers, obviously, ahead.

In the Beginning

Season three ended with the opening of the mysterious ring gates, and the 1300 habitable systems beyond them. Holden feared the beginning of ���a blood-soaked gold rush’.

It’s a fear shared by UN Secretary General Chrisjen Avarasala (Shohreh Aghdashloo), who wants everyone to stay put. The UN’s stance is backed by the Martian Congressional Republic (MCR) and many of the Belters. The balance of peace and power in the Sol system is precarious, and a mass exodus could destabilise human civilisation. Besides, no one group wants any of the other groups to rush in and gain the upper hand.

A convoy of Belter ships rushes the blockade on the Sol side of the slow zone. The Barbapiccola, containing refugees from Ganymede, makes it through and enters one of the ring gates. The Belters settle on a planet there and begin mining lithium. They name the planet Ilus.

Two ships are dispatched in the settlers’ wake. The first is the Edward Israel, owned by a corporation called Royal Charter Energy (RCE), which already had a UN-and-Mars-backed mandate to conduct scientific studies beyond the ring gates. The second is the Rocinante. Avasarala wants Jim Holden (Steven Strait) and his team to bring their knowledge and experience of the protomolecule to bear on this strange new world, and also act as adjudicators. Officially, at least. It’s not really in Avasarala’s interests for the situation on Ilus to run smoothly.  

Life on Mars

Bobbie Draper (Frankie Adams) spent seasons two and three in a whirlwind of defections, double-dealings and divided loyalties thanks to the cold war (and almost total war) between Earth and Mars, and the revelation of Mars’ role in the development of protomolecule bio-soldiers. Season four finds her somewhat adrift, living on Mars with her younger brother, David, and working for a company that dismantles decommissioned warships. She’s generally having a hard time readjusting to civilian life.

David gets embroiled in the criminal underworld, helping a gang to prepare illicit sense-enhancement drugs. Bobbie takes exception to this, so goes looking for the gang. She finds and beats down some of its members, in the process smashing up one of their labs and damaging their inventory. Her brother is kidnapped and forced to work off the debt incurred by the damage. Bobbie pleads for her brother’s release, a request to which the leader of the gang is willing to acquiesce, but only for a price: Bobbie has to leave a door unlocked at work so the gang can steal some military equipment. Reluctantly, she complies. When Bobby’s conscience gets the better of her she tries to report the gang to the police, only to discover that the high-ranking policeman who comes to log her report is the gang leader himself, Esai Martin (Paul Schulze). She later quits her job when her supervisor seems keener on getting in on the lucrative illegal action than in pursuing justice. Eventually she’s arrested for her part in the gang’s crime, and is only saved from prosecution when she agrees to accept Esai’s offer to work for his gang. Esai is motivated in his criminality by the pressing need to make enough money to secure passage off Mars and start a new life elsewhere with his family. He knows that the ring-gates, and the life and fecundity beyond them, have rendered Mars’ terraforming initiatives pointless, thereby dooming the planet to stagnation and, very possibly, extinction.  

Esai and his gang are later involved in the theft of another piece of Martian military tech, which is handed over to a team of Belters, who summarily execute the gang before retreating off-world. Bobbie witnesses this happening.  

Avasarala, Earth, and The OPA

The Outer Planets Alliance (OPA) faction represented by Camina Drummer (Cara Gee) and Klaes Ashford (David Strathairn) allies with the UN. They re-brand and re-purpose the Behemoth as Medina station, setting themselves up as gate-keepers of the rings, helping to enforce the UN blockade.  It’s hoped that this will grant them a place at the table and influence over the new galactic order.

Not all Belters are on board with this new paradigm, perceiving it as selling out; a capitulation to those who would still demean and exploit them.  Marco Inaros (Keon Alexander) is the most vocal and militant voice of opposition. Marco is Naomi Nagata’s (Dominique Tipper) ex-beau and father of their child, Filip (Jasai Chase Owens), and while these days he styles himself a freedom fighter, it wasn’t always thus. When he was with Naomi, he tricked her into writing code that he claimed would merely disable other ships, allowing their faction to come to the rescue and extort payment for their time and trouble. However, Marco used the code to overload the reactor of a docked ship, killing hundreds of people. When the distraught and guilt-ridden Naomi left the faction she was prevented from taking their son, Filip.

Marco is apprehended by Drummer and Ashford for his part in capturing the UNN colony ship Soujourner and executing its crew. While aboard the Behemoth, Marco tries to win Ashford over to his world view, reminding him that the Belt will suffer a terminal decline of profit and influence owing to the exodus, and, besides, very few Belters, due to their space-bound physiology, will be able to take advantage of the brave new worlds beyond the ring gates. The heads of the various OPA factions assemble to decide whether or not Marco should be spaced (ejected into space sans suit) for breaking the fragile truce between the inner and outer planets. It’s Drummer who breaks the tie, reasoning that killing Marco would make him a martyr, and propel into action those factions loyal to his cause.

On Earth, Avasarala faces a leadership challenge from Nancy Gao (Lily Gao) who, in contrast to the incumbent, is a fierce advocate for embracing the change, opportunity and adventure that the ring gates represent. Avasarala’s campaign takes its toll on her ethics and her personal life, especially her marriage. She resorts to smears against Gao, and isn’t above attempting to use the problems on Ilus to her advantage. 

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OPA bigwig Fred Johnson (Chad L. Coleman) reveals Marco’s location to Avasarala, who wastes no time in dispatching a team of marines to the Pizzouza spacecraft to extract him. Marco, however, isn’t on board, and the resulting firefight between marines and Belters results in grave loss of life. The fallout critically damages Avasarala’s image, reputation and election chances, and moreover plays right into Marco’s hands. 

Fred Johnson visits the Behemoth, receiving from Drummer both a punch in the face and news of her resignation. Ashford vows to track down and kill Marco and wants Drummer to accompany him, but she declines on the grounds that she’s sick of politics and its machinations.

Ashford’s pursuit of Marco through the Belt leads him to a Martian naval officer, who reveals under interrogation the existence of a conspiracy involving Martians and Belters. When Ashford finally tracks down Marco, on an abandoned asteroid mine in the belt (from which there are also some asteroids missing) he’s prevented from killing him by the appearance Marco’s and Naomi’s son Filip, who emerges from the shadows to tip the balance of power in his father’s favour. Ashford is spaced, but before he dies he broadcasts a secret recording that incriminates Marco and will alert whomever receives the transmission to the conspiracy – even if Ashford never learned its exact purpose or shape.

On Earth, Avasarala is defeated by Nancy Gao. Avasarala dictates a conciliatory message to Nancy Gao, which ends thusly: “As for policy and the direction you’re taking the earth and all her peoples. Well, we disagree. One of us is wrong. I think it’s you… but I hope it’s me.”

Ilus/New Terra

When the Rocinante arrives on Ilus – or New Terra, as the UN would have it – there is already palpable tension and mistrust between the Belters and the crew of the Edward Israel. The RCE’s shuttle was downed on its way from orbit, resulting in deaths and injuries. Survivors of the crash include the group’s leader, the merciless Adolphus Murtry Burn Gorman); RCE security officer Chandra Wei (Jess Salgueiro); and exo-biologist Dr Elvi Okoye (Lyndie Greenwood). Violence is halted when everyone is swarmed by alien bugs, soon confirmed as protomolecule-based.

The planet is home to large structures that were built by the long-dead beings responsible for the protomolecule. Proto-Miller (Thomas Jane) appears to Holden and makes him go to one of the ruined structures to remove a root that’s blocking a connection. This turns on the structure and, it would appear, the entire planet, shaking loose forks of promethean lightning from the dark, oppressive clouds. Holden fires a torpedo at another of the structures when it too appears to activate.

Amos (Wes Chatham) and Murtry play detective for a time, discovering that the planet’s landing pad was blown up deliberately. In the ensuing stand-off between the Belters and the RCE group, Murtry shoots and kills one of the Belters. This violent act kills the potential bromance between Amos and Murtry. Both men are killers, but Amos, despite his shallow affect, follows a more honourable code of ethics, one that puts him at irreconcilable loggerheads with the ruthless Murtry. Amos is taken into custody while Naomi – still having trouble adjusting to terra firma, despite the help of acclimation drugs – helps a Belter woman named Lucia (Rosa Gilmore) escape the RCE’s clutches. She’s being pursued by the RCE because they know she was involved in blowing up the landing pad. Lucia explains to Naomi that it was only supposed to be an act of sabotage to buy the Belters more time. When it became clear that this act of sabotage would coincide with the arrival of the RCE’s shuttle, Lucia tried to abort the action, but was prevented from doing so by her co-conspirators. Holden and Alex (Cas Anvar) come to Naomi and Lucia’s aid as they’re hunted across the encampment, bringing some of the Rocinante’s firepower to bear. Alex takes Lucia and Naomi into orbit aboard the Rocinante, leaving Holden behind to plead with the two factions to evacuate the unpredictable, proto-molecule-soaked planet, with a little time left over to punch Murtry in the face and demand Amos’s release.

Neither faction wants to abandon the planet, or their claim to the lithium, but soon the planet itself renders Holden’s exhortations irrelevant. An island explodes, precipitating a shockwave and tsunami that threatens their survival. Worse still, the fall-out has somehow rendered the fusion drives on the orbiting spacecraft useless. There’s no prospect of escape or rescue. Everyone has to flee for refuge in one of the alien ruins.

Structures, slugs and synthesised drugs

Once inside, the survivors split into two factions, RCE on one side, Belters on the other, with Holden and Amos somewhere in the middle. They quickly discover that the structure is teeming with countless thousands of neurotoxic alien slugs and hostile micro-organisms. Everyone except Holden starts to go blind after being infected by the micro-organisms. Many others succumb to the fatal touch of the slugs. Murtry, becoming more unstable by the moment, reveals to his group his true objective on Ilus/New Terra. It isn’t the lithium he’s after, but the proto-molecule tech. He also wants to kill Holden and Amos.

Above the planet, Alex and Naomi devise a plan to tether the Rocinante to the Barbapiccola to prevent its decaying orbit from dragging it down onto the planet’s surface. Murtry keeps things interesting by ordering the Edward Israel to fire on the Rocinante.

The exo-biologist Dr Okoye works out – just in the nick of time – that Holden is immune to the micro-organisms because of the anti-cancer medication he’s been taking ever since he and Miller were exposed to radiation on Eros. She synthesises a cure, and the effects are reversed. In time, the waters recede enough for the survivors to leave the structure.

Meanwhile, proto-Miller again appears to Holden. The ‘real’ Miller is now battling with the protomolecule for control of the Miller ‘avatar’. In a moment of lucidity, Miller explains to Holden that the hat-wearing Miller he’s been dealing with is The Investigator, whose mission was to bring Holden and a dose of active protomolecule through the ring gates to activate the structures on Ilus. Miller, however, has identified a place on the planet where the protomolecule can’t go, where in fact all trace of it can be destroyed.       

Holden heads off in search of this weak spot. He’s led to a portal which transports him to another structure elsewhere on the planet, swiftly followed by Murtry and Chandra (with whom Amos had a brief ‘romance’), who are intent on killing him. Amos and Okoye follow. Amos fatally shoots Chandra, then Murtry shoots and disables Amos. Meanwhile, Okoye and Holden find a mysterious circular rift that Miller refers to as ‘the bullet’. While Holden rushes to aid Amos and incapacitate Murtry, Okoye stays behind to help Miller with ‘the bullet’. Miller merges with items strewn around the room to give him the corporeal form necessary to enter and plug the rift. His self-sacrifice not only saves Okoye, who is almost swallowed by the phenomenon, but returns everything to normal. All vestiges of the protomolecule are removed, the planet is ‘deactivated’ and fusion engines can function once more. The Belters and some of the RCE scientists decide to stay behind on Ilus. In orbit, Holden ejects the only piece of protomolecule that’s still aboard the Rocinante into Ilus’ sun. Murtry is a prisoner aboard the Rocinante, but the crew decides to let Lucia go.    

The Beginning of the End

Bobbie reaches out to Avasarala to tell her about the criminal conspiracy between Martian and Belter criminals/terrorists. Ashford’s message, which lends weight to this intel, is out there in the ether somewhere, but no one has yet detected it. Bobbie and Avasarala are now working together.

It was Filip who was with the team of Belters on Mars that stole the piece of military tech before eliminating Esai’s gang. The hardware taken was stealth tech, which we discover that Marco Inaros has used to cloak eight asteroids that are currently hurtling their way towards Earth.  

It’s going to be fascinating and harrowing in equal measure to see what a few million tonnes of space-rock will do to the tentative peace that’s barely holding the Sol system together, and how the various factions will make peace – or war – with the atrocity to come.

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Roll on season five.

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