#and i think george may be really ill 😭

[1864-66readingproject]

‼️⁉️‼️

Just reached the end of chapter 29 of The Doctor's Wife

And because I'm reading it following the initial serial publication I have to wait AN ENTIRE MONTH until I can read the next chapter 😩😩😩

[mikalame]

hiya!!! could you write a really sweet fic (story) about y/n and Bill getting a huge matching tattoo together and Bill being asked about this tattoo on an interview and he just gets really shy etc (could you make the reader female and a singer) please ?

bye :D

"Are you sure you want to do this meine leibe, this is gonna take a couple hours, and will hurt a bit being where it is" Bill asks, eyes searching your face for any sign you may not feel 100% about this, exspechily because its a tattoo that will be on you forever.

"Yes im sure Bill, I've researched and all plus ill ask for some numbing cream, are you okay bill" You ask thinking that the reason he keeps asking you if your okay is becasue he isn't.

"Of course, i cant wait" he says kissing your cheek giving you tight hug and pushing open the tattoo shop's door.

Time skip

"how are you feeling hun, you in any serious pain" Bill asks eyes scanning over you again looking down at you, eyebrows pinched.

"Im fine Billl" you whine playfulling pushing him away giggling.

You two smile at eachother and walk to your car you look at your forearm and the tattoo placed on it, the phantom pain of it comeig back to you but the pride and meaning of it over powers it.

Time skip again

"SO WELCOME..... TOKIO HOTEL!" the interveiwer yells at the camera, the crowd behind it full on fangirls and boys yell in exsitement waving their banners and posters around hoping to catch one of the band members attention.

As the band walks on the stage single file line they wave at the fans, the majority of them smiling wider and yelling louder, while the crazy super fans faint or start yelling not so innocent things (i dont blame them ahaha)

"Hello we are so happy to be on the show with you today" Bill says taking the mircophone from the interviewer so the audiance could hear them clearly.

"Well im glad, so today we have a couple questions to ask you, if thats all right with you all" She says looking over the band and seeing their nodding heads.

"Okay, great sooo the first question is from.... Marie asking if any of you have any big regrets in you career". She cocks an eyebrow then looks at the band, a smile on her face.

"Oh well uhm probably styling my hair with CANS of hairspray, kinda wish i just wore a wig but oh well" Bill says shrugging passing the mircophone along.

"Oh hahaha, Okay next question" She says smile dropping as she reads the next couple of questions out.

"Oooo okay this one is for Bill , aparently you were seen with ___ going into a tattoo parlor, do you care to show us what you got" she asks smirk stretching on her face.

"Oh, uhm no sorry" Bill says shaking his head in disagreement, but the interviwer just keeps on begging.

After a while it really started to get on him nerves, more so when she brought the audiance in on it as well, but bill just kept on saying no, blushing hinding if face.

The tattoo was very important to bill and he didnt feel like it should be made public like this, exspeachily when it had such a deep meaning for bill and ___.

"Oh, well sorry ladys and gentlemen thats all the time we have today, sorry i coldn't make bill show the new tattoo but mabey next time" she say fake smile still prominent on her face.

As the band walks of the stage fareing their good byes bill mutters under his voice.

"There wont be a 'next time'".

They all groan as they sit down in the tour bus, tom cracking his back as well as gustav. "She was real adamant on getting the tattoo shown" Georg laughs opening a bag of chips sitting down across from the boy.

"Yeah she need to learn to take no for an answer, she must be a real treat in bed" tom laughs sarcastically behind the two.

"mmh" bill agrees putting his headphones in listening to a song ___ and him made when he was staying at her house one of the first times they met thinking about calling her when they head off to check up on her.

SORRY GUYS I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT 😭.

taglist @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam @adissonsss

[ughgoaway]

it really is a mental health dip kind of a month i swear seasonal depression is mf real 😔💔 but while you take a backseat on writing etc (idk how you guys write so often like burn out would hit me after the second sentence 😭💀) here's some insane brainrot and perhaps inspo but mainly just blurb like comfort to think ab bc honestly why lie matthew may be a headache but he really is the best of distractions in such times <3 (here's to hoping some serotonin will roll its way over to both of us)

(dad matty universe ofc bc well-)

- matty singing his songs to baby annie and absolutely dying when she'd giggle to it

- babysitting annie mid studio sessions like can you just imagine the boys producing and recording and annie taking turns sleeping in each of their laps etc 😭😭

- matty calling adam at the randomest times to ask for parenting advice (crying)

- the very idea of matty holding a sleeping annie in his arms as they both doze off will actually kill me i swear

- any thought remotely related to dad matty doing dad things honestly

- like imagine him packing her school lunches etc and including little notes for her kms

- the boys taking annie on trips etc like imagine them all at the zoo gn

(honestly a pre-reader blurb list/prequel may be a need somewhere down the line-)

anyways yes I totally do not.... think about dad matty......like at all......

bff anon is going to run away and disappear now 😍 xx

(late to respond to this bc I am still violently ill lol)

YES BFF HI!!!! seasonal depression is EARLY this year!! honestly, I don't get it either. Some writers literally write every day... if I did that, I'd die. I don't even write that much, and I still burn out so quickly

okay I don't have the mental capacity rn to discuss each idea in depth but let me just say; YES YES YES YES YES I LOVE IT.

(not very) brief comments on each one below the cut;

- matty singing people to baby Annie and she is just laughing like crazy... yes.

- do not even put this into my head. the idea of baby Annie sitting in Ross' lap while he plays bass. Or Adam takes her from matty when he needs to record a little vocal take, and he and Annie wave from the other side. Matty promptly messes up that take because he's busy making heart eyes at his beautiful baby (and after much pressure, he reluctantly says he was making heart eyes at hann too...) Or she's sitting in George as he produces something, she giggles and presses a button. at first George is like, "No!" But then he plays it, and he's like, "...wait that kinda bangs, " and annie gets a producer credit!!!!

(side note imagine them including an accidental take at the end of a song of Annie babbling or laughing... people are like "what is that cute laughter at the end?" and matty is like "💞❤️💖my baby girl💖❤️💞")

- it's like 12am, and Adam is just getting into bed when he gets a facetime from matty who is PANICKING. Adam is immediately like "bro, what's up", all he can hear in the background is SCREAMING bc Annie is clearly unhappy. matty is freaking tf out because "I can't find her stuffed rabbit Adam. it's been 2 hours. she won't stop crying. I don't know what to do and -" and Adam cuts him off like "matty, calm down, it's okay. didn't you put it in that weird pocket of your bag in the studio today?" and matty looks like he could literally cry of joy and just is like "YES I LOVE YOU BRO. BYE. SLEEP WELL." and abruptly hangs up, leaving Adam laughing and carly asking."oh god, what did matty need"

- perhaps a long day in the studio and matty is like "I'll just rock Annie to sleep on the sofa in the other room, be back in 10" and he simply... does not return. George comes in prepared to have a go at matty for being a helicopter dad when he sees them both open mouth snoring on the sofa lol.

- the idea of messy hair 3am matty trying to test the temperature of the milk on his wrist but getting confused at what it's meant to feel like. simultaneously rocking a screaming Annie and just trying not to also scream.

- OHMYGODDDD. like she's a little older, and it starts with a little note explaining something in her lunch, and she comes home SO EXCITED because "it was a note from you, Daddy!!! it's like we're spies sending secret letters!!!" And obviously, matty is now in full spy mode. they create a secret code, and he decorates them to say "top secret" on the outside. the notes are always things like "love you peanut! have a good day!" But we can play pretend okay.

- maybe Annie has become obsessed with penguins recently (Ross is obviously encouraging this and loves her giggles whenever he shows her his tattoo) and matty wants to show her irl penguins. matty offhandedly mentions him and Annie are going to the zoo tomorrow for the first time and the other boys are like "HMM??? WITHOUT US???" especially Ross bc like... hello he got her into penguins... the audacity from matty to be silent??? so they all are like "we're coming." thus a group trip to the zoo happens, and hann brings his little one and its just a family affair. sooo many pictures, especially Annie seeing her very first penguin and a group shot that a very confused old woman took for them (seriously, why are there 4 grown tattooed men with two children crying at penguins???)

these thoughts became much less concise as time went on...

I might have to do some prequel/early dad matty blurbs... if yall are interested???

[betweenthings2]

okay right. it is Fic Ask time 🙂‍↕🙂‍↕🙂‍↕ YAHOO greatest fears, wringing hands, loudest silence here i come. also sorry this is a little late !! if ur birthday was before i sent this then i hope u enjoyed and if its after then i also hope u enjoy !!! ☺️☺️

"I-" Matty chokes on a sob, "I'm gonna do it, George. I think I'm gonna do it."

never write another word again or i fear you may kill me. GOOD GOD. :( <- me atm

"I've heard it doesn't hurt--do you think that's true?" Matty asks. In the background, George can hear the sound of packaging being opened and George knows.

I FEEL SICK. no it is Not true matthew stop pls im gonna start sobbing. george knows :(((

"Sorry," Matty mumbles. "Sorry for botherin' you."

okay well 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i actually forgot how sad this is. i blocked it out the same way womens bodies supposedly do after pregnancy. i am going to SCREAM AND CRY

Matty is quiet for a moment, then he says, "Do you think it'll stain the grout? Will my mum be upset I ruined the tile, do you think?"

ohhhh the way hes more worried about how she'll react instead of worrying about himself:(( my chest hurts pls

"There's so much, G," Matty says, something like awe in his voice. "Do you think my mum will be upset?"

google how do i be normal. i genuinely might just sob. :(( i just can't get over how u managed to get that. like. the sort of innocence to it ??? like hes so out of it he cant understand it properly Ohhhhhh :(((

OH THE LETTER NO NO NO NO NO

You deserve something.

i am going to explode thank you

I don't think I'm meant to make it, G. It's ok, though. It's been good. You made it good, but I'm tired and I'm sad and everything hurts.

there are no words in the english language i could possibly use to describe how this hurt me

I know this is happening to you, not me, not really, not anymore.

YOUR DEATH IT WONT HAPPEN TO YOU IT HAPPENS TO YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i just absolutely cannot comprehend how you put so much sadness into this. im going to sob

And then George is ugly crying in the waiting room. It's big, heaving sobs and it's all he can do to get himself outside so he doesn't bother anyone. Dimly, he thinks that this is the worst day of his life, then immediately tells himself off for feeling sorry for himself when he doesn't even know if Matty is still alive and if he is, then he's somewhere alone and hurting and instead of being there for him, George is feeling sorry for himself.

i had to put my phone down after reading this paragraph and go and scream silently at my cat over it. this pain transcends species. :((((((((( the way uve gotten the idea that it just makes everyone feel shit and then they feel bad for feeling shit and just OHHHHH. ☹️☹️☹️

Regardless of the semantics, Matty looks peaceful. His arms are wrapped in gauze from wrist to elbow, there's an IV in the back of his left hand, and he connected to several other machines, but he looks peaceful, like he's getting long neglected rest.

i need this tattooed like you know how some people get ones that go around their arms all the way like a bracelet im gonna do that but ill do it somewhere that can fit this entire paragraph and im gonna show it to every single person i meet. what the fuck. peaceful ohhhhh what if i sob. ive also been seeing a lot of stuff about divine machinery or whatever it is and this made me think of that? just the image of him in a bed with wires all going to him . im going to explode

"I should say that to you," George counters. "You were going to make me listen to you die."

☹️ I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

"Why couldn't you just let me die?" Matty repeats. "'s not like I'm worth it. I'm not worth it, G. You'll be better without me. You'll all be better without me."

tears in my stupid gay real person fiction painted eyes. u cannot just WRITE THAT oh my GOD. ☹️☹️☹️ they will most definitely not be better without u matty pls :(

"You say that," Matty says, his voice thick, "but you don't mean it. You don't want me around when I can't get out of bed, or when I can't seem to stop talking, or when I loose things and double book myself and forget we had plans and give up on things 'cause they're not interesting anymore, or when I try to control everything, or when I fuck something else up, 'cause I will, or-"

my heart hurts. i just cannot deal with this. im going to be in a hospital bed in a minute Oh this is so :((((((

It takes a while, but eventually, George scrubs the blood from the tile, revealing the stains on the tile and grout. Kneeling there, slightly sweaty from the frenzied scrubbing and on the verge of tears, George remembers Matty's worries about the grout. Suddenly it's so ridiculous that George has to laugh and a bird's eye view of himself pops into his head and he has to laugh harder. When he dissolves into tears he'd tried so hard to fight, he starts scrubbing the floor again, but the stains are stuck, so he gives up. It's only when George is done in the bathroom and he goes to leave that he realizes that there are more boot prints through Matty's room and across the plush cream colored carpeting Denise had put in as soon as Louis wasn't a toddler anymore. George doesn't have it in him to clean that, too.

hey so did you know i actually cannot deal with this. i just cannot. the grrroooouuuuuttttttt :((((((

The third thing is that Matty is retrained.

:(

"Matty's not violent."

MATTYS NOT VIOLENT 😭😭😭 crying into my latte pls omfg. the way he sees him at his best even when its probably wrong IM GONNA CRY

"Still," Matty protests. "I didn't want you to see the mess I made."

my cat got in the way of me reading this and now she has my chin on her back and is 'reading' along with me. maybe i shouldve chosen something happier. character development. anyway i am Losing my fucking mind oh good god

Matty raises his eyebrows, saying, "Who knew that's what it took for you to start yelling?"

matty brings out the best and worst in him and its making me sick. OJ MYCGOD

I was gonna take pills, but it was right there and I've heard it doesn't hurt if you use something sharp enough, so I called you, and I wanted you to be the last person I talked to."

THIS IS NOT OKAY I AM NOT OKAY NOTHING IS OKAY NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY EVER AGAIN. :((((((( i cant even explain how this affects me

"I spent an hour and a half last night trying to bleach your blood from your bathroom tile," George continues, "and the only thing I see when I close my eyes is what it looked like when I got there and bloody fucking tracks across your mum's nice carpet and you, in a fucking casket, and all I can think is that everyone failed you and that I failed you, and I love you, Matty, and I know everything's kinda a mess in your head and I know it's not about me, but please, for just a minute, think about the people who love you."

i cant put into words what im feeling while reading this but just know this is what i look like

I CANNOT FUCKING DEAL

"I'm gonna fight for you," George says, a little softer. "Why can't you fight for you, too?"

"I don't have the energy to fight," Matty answers quietly.

"Will you let me?"

OH WHAT THE FUCK CAN WE STOP THIS. IM GOING TO SCREAM. u put So much. sad. into ur writing. and its so impressive. i am going to explode. will u let me THERES TEARS. STOP (do not)

George wants to yell at them, tell them that sedating Matty doesn't solve anything, that he's small enough that he's not a threat to anyone, that sedation is half of Matty's problem. George doesn't say anything, just watches.

SMALL ENOUGH TGAT HES NOR A THREAT RO ANYOEN STOP THIS MADNESS IMMEDIATELY. OH MY GOD 😭😭😭😭😭 i actually need to see a doctor im going insane

Sometimes, they all go together and it breaks George's heart to watch Matty trying so hard to be himself for his brother. At some point, Matty's stitches get removed, but the cuts are still red and angry and tender and Matty opts for long sleeves so no one sees them, himself included.

. tears in my eyes .

this is not okay

im going to die

"himself included" :((((( im unwell

"Did you, did they, at the hospital did you, uh-" Matty cuts himself off.

"Did they give me your note?" George fills in.

im feeling very normal about this. the most normal. oh my god. i feel like this emoji ☹️ i CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

"It broke my heart," George admits.

READING THIS IS BREAKING MINE ☹️ sob sob sob sob sob im going to explode

"You think my life is worth saving," Matty continues, slowly.

i genuinely might start sobbing. death and destruction and pain and OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDD 😭😭😭

George would want to wake up like this forever if Matty didn't look so vacant.

there used to be a heart in my chest but its since shrivelled up and DIED. this is for real going to kill me. pls im SAD ☹️ i love this so much

"Mostly that I really, really love you," Matty mumbles, sheepish. "And about what we talked about last night."

☹️ he loves george so much it makes me SICK. and u know what else makes me sick. how sad. this fic. is making me. but in a good way. im so obsessed im going to CRY

Matty gives a minute shake of his head and says, "I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna wake up and fucking brush my teeth and, and try so hard to do everything right and be enough and still fucking fail. I'm tired, George and the meds make it worse and everyone looks at me like I'm about to lose it and my mum keeps fucking apologizing and I've got these fucking scars that I'm gonna have forever and everyone will know how fucked up I am."

screaming crying throwing up im going to my library and telling them about you and making them tell everyone that comes in about you. this is terrible for my heart but so wonderful for every other part of me. my heart hurts. i love this so much

Matty shakes his head again. "You just look sad."

:((((((((( he just looks sad :(((((((((

"It's fucking hideous. And I did it to myself," Matty argues. "I cut myself. And then I tore the fucking stitches out. Who does something like that?"

im printing this and binding it or like sticking it to my walls and making it into a poster. oh my FUCKING GOD this is so sad and ohsjkwkdmdxkewkdkoeod i need to be SEDATED

Matty groans, ever the dramatic, but agrees, "Fine."

:'))) he still has parts of himself left :'))) he might be terrible mentally but he is Still Matty !!!

Years from now, when they're sitting in a house George has cleaned top to bottom, in a kitchen where the strongest thing is a single pack of ibuprofen and even the cooking wine has been thrown out in the wake of Matty's time in rehab, George will tell Matty of this victory. Matty will cry and apologize and cry some more, and George will hold him and try not to think about the scars, silvery and faded, on Matty's forearms.

I ACTUALLY CANNOT COPE WITH THIS. !??!??!?!??!?!??! how do you just Casually say the most...beautiful sentences...and act like its the same as any other. im in AWE of you. !!!!!!! so sad !!! so happy !!!!!! so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In one of the fights that will become more frequent in the coming months, Denise will yell at Matty about how much it cost to have the carpeting and bathroom tile replaced.

DENISE...BE NICE...STOP. im gonna die. oh my god pls no sTOP IT

"Am I," he pauses, "am I gonna be ok? I think I wanna be ok."

fighting demons to Not Cry atm. oh my god. i am. just. oh my god. :( he wants to be okay :(

Matty keeps wearing long sleeves and George can't help but be afraid that Matty break if he's not gentle enough.

never speak again or you Will kill me. oh my god. the way he loves him makes me die inside but in a happy way. do u get the vibe. i hope u get the vibe. i love this in a way that only Vibes can convey

This isn't Matty from before, but it isn't the Matty that wrote the suicide note George can't bring himself to throw out.

hi what the fuck. this is gorgeous and i need it engraved in marble under like. a carving of you or something. oh my FUCKING GOD i swear im putting this somewhere idk where but its going SOMEWHERE

They're sharing a joint and hiding out in Matty's bedroom when he speaks up.

i know its sad and all but this is making me so soft. like. its so intimate i just love it so much :((( sharing a joint even when theyre meant to go on some huge tour ohhhhhh my HEART HURTS. also the image of teeny tiny mini matty being so sad ??????? stop ??????? pls i didnt realise he was meant to be that young im :(((((

this is the most wonderful thing ive ever read and it genuinely should be shown to everybody who even knows what suicide is or something. just everybody. i love it so much and u HAVE to know how amazing it is like omg. i also just realised i didnt give it kudos the first time ?? past me was a little freak. i did like it though i remember that, i think i was just shy, anyway, its amazing and u have to know that. ok. enjoy the rest of ur birthday month and think lots about sad matty i love u u are the best

Fic thoughts!! Thank you so much! My actual birthday was unexciting--I just went to class--but I'm seeing Charli xcx soon and it's still birthday season, so I think that counts for something =)

Anyway, fic time!

Poor fictional!Matty--he's so desperate and scared--and poor fictional!George, hearing him like that =(

George knows!!! !!!! He knows but he doesn't want to know but he can't make himself not know!! They are so very, very tragic.

Fictional!Matty thinks he's a bother!!! He just wants a little bit of comfort in the end from fictional!George, but he still just thinks he's a bother.

He's still so sure he's a bother and the problem =(( Fictional!Matty is just trying to stop being the problem and here he is, certain he's causing another one.

(If I knew how to be normal I would tell you, unfortunately, this fic came from my little head, so normal is kind of out of the question.) However. Fictional!Matty is mostly impressed that he managed to do it and impressed that all of the blood was inside him. He's lost too much blood to be logical about anything, but he's impressed with himself.

The letter!! Fun fact, the letter was almost not a part of this fic because I didn't know how to write it.

Fictional!George does deserve something! He deserves everything, fictional!Matty just doesn't know how to give it.

Hurt was the goal, if I'm being honest. Sorry. I'm glad it worked, but sorry.

I will admit, "I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)" was very much the foundation of the letter. Fictional!Matty knows he's not the one it's happening to, but he just doesn't know what else to do.

Poor, poor fictional!George =( =( He's so in love and he thinks he might have just lost the person he loves and it really is the worst day of his life, but what about fictional!Matty? What's happening to him? This is probably the worst day of his life, too. (I hope you and your cat have recovered. My goal was never to upset anyone's pets.)

Poor, poor fictional!George that this is how fictional!Matty looks peaceful. And the divine machine is such a good concept!! I'll be thinking about that for the foreseeable future =) and oh my god, tattoo my writing on you? That's too much of a compliment. I don't know what to do.

I think this fic could boil down to poor fictional!George. He was going to have to listen to fictional!Matty die!! They're so sad.

It could also boil down to poor fictional!Matty, too. He's so convinced everyone would be better without him and fictional!George doesn't know what to do about it =(

Fictional!Matty hates himself so much and he absolutely cannot reconcile the fact that fictional!George loves him so much. He can't help but think fictional!George is blind.

The grout!!! There's a piece of writing advice floating around out there that essentially amounts to the bigger and more dramatic the thing you're writing about, the smaller the thing you focus on should be as a demonstration of how big that thing is. Suicide and self-loathing are massive things to tackle, the grout is a near microscopic demonstration.

Love that my typo on restrained is committed to memory now. Anyway, fictional!Matty is restrained! He's a danger to himself!!!

The only person fictional!Matty has any kind of violence for is himself!!

I hope your cat is doing ok =/ Tragedy can be build character, maybe. I am of the opinion that tragedy is good for us, actually.

Fictional!M+G are the best and the worst of each other, I would argue. They have, in this fic, loved each other nearly as long as they've been real people. Of course they bring out the best and worst in each other. That's what they are.

Fictional!Matty is so, so certain he's been horribly selfish, but fictional!George is so ridiculously grateful he was able to save his life. Fictional!Matty is also terminally curious, so of course he'd want to know if it really hurt. (He hoped it wouldn't--he doesn't handle pain well--but it did.)

I would tell you what I looked like writing this, but I cannot remember what I was thinking when I wrote this, but again, poor, poor fictional!George. He's angry, but he's pretty sure he doesn't have the right to be, but god, he is.

I will never stop writing angst. Of all the things I'm actively working on (so many, so, so many), there are about three that aren't angsty, two of which are smut. So. There will be so much more angst.

Fictional!Matty is little tiny! The orderly could just put fictional!Matty over his shoulder and carry him out but he doesn't!! Ahhhh

Fictional!Matty still hates himself, hates what he's done to himself. Fictional!George wouldn't tell him, but he hates seeing the scars, too, so he's not going to complain about the long sleeves, just grieve everything that's happened.

The letter! Originally, they were just going to have a conversation about it here, but then I actually wrote it, so they're just sad here.

Fictional!George probably needs therapy after this--he's so sad, endlessly sad, but at least fictional!Matty is alive.

Fictional!Matty is there, but he's not really there, but at least he's sort of there =(

Fictional!Matty loves fictional!George so much!! He just might hate himself more.

Tell everyone in the library about my sad fics?!?! I am very touched, but that might be too much--I'm just some guy. But, hopefully my next fic hurts less.

They're just sad!!!!

Poor fictional!Matty is angry now, too. He hates what he's done to himself and literally all he can do is live with it. =(

He's still himself! That's what makes it worse for fictional!George--it would be easier if fictional!Matty was just. absent, but he's not and it's heartbreaking.

They will ever, ever escape this. They will live under the shadow of this one thing forever because fictional!Matty will literally bear the scars forever.

Fictional!Denise doesn't know what to do with this either!! Fictional!Matty just fights with her in a way that he doesn't with fictional!George. In his defense, living with your parents in your early twenties is a little bit rough sometimes.

Fictional!Matty wants to try, he just doesn't know how!!

I do get the vibe!! It's a good vibe!!

I do not know what the fuck, I'm sorry. I do know that fictional!George will never throw the letter away. Fictional!Matty will find it at some point, ten or fifteen years down the line, and he'll read it and cry, and then fictional!George will find him and then they'll cry together.

They're so young!! They're too young for this, too young to figure out how to cope with this, but they have to. They have to and maybe that's biggest tragedy of it all!

Here's a fun fact that's maybe not very fun--this fic was originally going to titled "Call Your Mom," because that's the song that inspired it, but it didn't seem quite right when I finished it.

Thank you so much for reading and your thoughts and all the compliments!! I'm so touched and I promise I'm actively working on the fictional!George in a skirt fic.

[emometalhead]

4. Unpopular George opinion? – caveat: unpopular among George girls

16. Did the other three excuse John's behaviour too much?

28. Phil Spector's production: Yay or nay?

4. I really stay in my own bubble, so it took me a while to even come up with typical George girl opinions 😭. I'm going to go with that I'm a facial hair hater. I do think George pulled off the mustache the best out of the four, but I'm still not a fan of the look. When I see bearded George, I'm just like "I can't see my boy's face ☹️".

16. I don't think so, but that may also be a reflection of my personal bias. I think that it's difficult for the others to be objective about John. While he was around, I think of it like the sibling thing where you can say something negative about them but it's an issue as soon as someone else tries to. After he died, such as happens with a lot of people once they are deceased, I think they wanted to keep the positive view of him more present. Like I don't think we'd get a modern interview disavowing John in any way. It's much less relevant in the general scope nowadays to dissect his behavior, and there's always a sense of not speaking ill of the Dead.

Long story short, I don't think they excused him too much. I certainly don't think they did so consciously, anyway. He was their friend, to say the least, and I think it's normal to be defensive of those you are close to.

28. Yay. I'm admittedly not the production girlie. It isn't something I necessarily put conscious thought toward, even when I notice it. Regardless, I have no issues with Phil Spector's work!

Thank you so much for asking, Fiona!!

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