#and i need people to stop acting like it's a high art feminist masterpiece

[bisamwilson]

mak's 96th oscar picks

hello and welcome to my 96th oscar picks! if you're new here, this is the second year in a row i've completed the "death race" and watched every movie nominated for an oscar! (you can find my rating and either a joke or real review on my letterboxd, as well as a ranking of all the narrative feature length films i've watched that released in 2023 if you're interested). the list below is mostly for me to just have in the future to look back on post show tbh

anyways, below is every award listed in the order they appear on the 2024 oscars wikipedia page, with my preferred winner, my preferred runner up, any snubs i'm angry about if applicable, anything i'd be angry about winning if applicable, AND what i think is going to win, regardless of my feelings! note: just bc i have something i prefer winning doesn't mean it's necessarily my personal favorite of the category. for example, i think zone should take international film, but i personally liked perfect days better

anyways, here's my picks for this year's academy awards!

BEST PICTURE:

my preferred winner: oppenheimer

my preferred runner up: the zone of interest

nominee i'd be actively angry if it won: maestro, barbie

snub i'm still upset about: spider-man: across the spider-verse

my predicted winner: oppenheimer

BEST DIRECTOR:

my preferred winner: christopher nolan, oppenheimer

my preferred runner up: jonathan glazer, the zone of interest

snub i'm still upset about: celine song, past lives

my predicted winner: christopher nolan, oppenheimer

BEST ACTOR:

my preferred winner: cillian murphy, oppenheimer

my preferred runner up: colman domingo, rustin

snub i'm still upset about: andrew scott, all of us strangers

nominee i'd be actively angry about: bradley cooper, maestro

my predicted winner: cillian murphy, oppenheimer

BEST ACTRESS:

my preferred winner: lily gladstone, killers of the flower moon

my preferred runner up: sandra hüller, anatomy of a fall

snub i'm still upset about: greta lee, past lives and cailee spaeny, priscilla

nominee i'd be actively angry about: annette benning, nyad and carey mulligan, maestro

my predicted winner: lily gladstone, killers of the flower moon

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

my preferred winner: robert downey, jr., oppenheimer

my preferred runner up: sterling k. brown, american fiction

snub i'm still upset about: charles melton, may december

nominee i'd be actively angry about: mark ruffalo, poor things

my predicted winner: robert downey, jr., oppenheimer

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

my preferred winner: da'vine joy randolph, the holdovers

my preferred runner up: danielle brooks, the color purple

snub i'm still upset about: sandra hüller, the zone of interest

nominee i'd be actively angry about: jodie foster, nyad and america ferrera, barbie

my predicted winner: da'vine joy randolph, the holdovers

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

my preferred winner: anatomy of a fall

my preferred runner up: past lives

nominee i'd be actively angry about: maestro, may december

my predicted winner: anatomy of a fall

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:

my preferred winner: american fiction

my preferred runner up: oppenheimer

snub i'm still upset about: the killer, all of us strangers

nominee i'd be actively angry about: barbie, poor things

my predicted winner: american fiction

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE:

my preferred winner: spider-man: across the spider-verse

my preferred runner up: the boy and the heron

snub i'm still upset about: teenage mutant ninja turtles: mutant mayhem

my predicted winner: the boy and the heron

BEST INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM:

my preferred winner: the zone of interest

my preferred runner up: perfect days

snub i'm still upset about: the promised land

nominee i'd be actively angry about: the teacher's lounge

my predicted winner: the zone of interest

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE FILM:

my preferred winner: four daughters

my preferred runner up: to kill a tiger

snub i'm still upset about: kokomo city

nominee i'd be actively angry about: eternal memory

my predicted winner: 20 days in mariupol

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT FILM:

my preferred winner: the last repair shop

my preferred runner up: nǎi nai & wài pó

nominee i'd be actively angry about: the abcs of book banning

my predicted winner: the abcs of book banning

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM:

my preferred winner: the wonderful story of henry sugar

my preferred runner up: invincible

nominee i'd be actively angry about: the after

my predicted winner: the wonderful story of henry sugar

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM:

my preferred winner: ninety-five senses

my preferred runner up: our uniform

nominee i'd be actively angry about: war is over! inspired by the music of john and yoko, letter to a pig

my predicted winner: war is over! inspired by the music of john and yoko

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE:

my preferred winner: ludwig göransson, oppenheimer

my preferred runner up: ludwig göransson, oppenheimer but a second time

nominee i'd be actively angry about: literally any nominee that isn't ludwig göransson, oppenheimer

my predicted winner: ludwig göransson, oppenheimer

BEST ORIGINAL SONG:

my preferred winner: "i'm just ken" - barbie

my preferred runner up: "what was i made for?" - barbie

snub i'm still upset about: dear alien (who art in heaven) - asteroid city

nominee i'd be actively angry about: "the fire inside" - flamin' hot

my predicted winner: "what was i made for?" - barbie

BEST SOUND:

my preferred winner: the zone of interest

my preferred runner up: oppenheimer

snub i'm still upset about: ferrari

nominee i'd be actively angry about: maestro

my predicted winner: oppenheimer

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN:

my preferred winner: poor things

my preferred runner up: barbie

snub i'm still upset about: asteroid city

my predicted winner: poor things

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:

my preferred winner: oppenheimer

my preferred runner up: killers of the flower moon

nominee i'd be actively angry about: maestro, el conde

my predicted winner: oppenheimer

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING:

my preferred winner: poor things

my preferred runner up: society of the snow

snub i'm still upset about: priscilla

nominee i'd be actively angry about: maestro, golda

my predicted winner: maestro

BEST COSTUME DESIGN:

my preferred winner: barbie

my preferred runner up: napoleon

my predicted winner: barbie

BEST FILM EDITING:

my preferred winner: oppenheimer

my preferred runner up: anatomy of a fall

nominee i'd be actively angry about: the holdovers

my predicted winner: oppenheimer

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS:

my preferred winner: the creator

my preferred runner up: godzilla minus one

snub i'm still upset about: oppenheimer

nominee i'd be actively angry about: guardians of the galaxy vol. 3

my predicted winner: godzilla minus one

and that's every category! if you made it this far, i'm shocked tbh, but interested to hear your thoughts as well!

[sustainablehedonism]

august 23.2020

Neil invited some friends over for a private dine-in party tonight: two old white men, one young white man, and one young black woman. I don't know what connection these people had with each other other than the young woman and man were married. Before they arrived, Neil told me the story of the woman: she used to work here as a server for many years, through high school and college. Neil met her when she was a tween, running around at a fundraiser for I think the Port Angeles Symphony Orchestra. He handed her his card and told her to get in touch with him when she is old enough to work because he looks for people to work there who can move swiftly without looking like they are. He asked me if I was a runner today, and I said I was a dancer and he said it makes sense because I move quickly yet gracefully. She’s in her early thirties now. The restaurant must’ve just opened at that time. "She's an African-American woman who is married to a white Chicago police officer," he said. Figure that one out. She’s from Chicago, and her mom was in the marines and moved as a military family, which explains why there was a black child in Port Angeles. 

Neil explained to me that he’s had people work at his restaurant who go on to become extremely successful people. “Hey, maybe I’ll be a politician someday, and you can add that to your list of successful ex-employees,” I said. He said he’d support me if I did. I loved this lady. When I read off the nightly special to the table, she tilted back her head and savored the mere thought of Olympic Coast grilled King salmon with a summer vegetable saute of zucchini, corn, tomatoes, locally foraged chanterelles from the nearby forest, and orzo pesto pasta. When Neil told me to clear the table for the next course, she immediately stood up and touched my arm and whispered in my ear, "you get the silverware and I'll get the plates." When a customer came in, she was at the bar and immediately greeted them and asked what she could do for them as if she was working there. I loved that she just jumped right back in as if she never left. AOC said on instagram the other day, "I'll go back to bartending any day of the week because I'm not a classist who ties someone's worth to the prestige of their occupation." I want to be like that. I am pursuing a career in public policy, but I always love going back to hospitality. I love serving and I want to continue doing that as a side gig, but I also want to be a bartender and barista someday. While I was writing down the sales numbers for the night, I took longer than I normally do partly because I was tipsy from the cocktail but mostly because I was enveloped in eavesdropping on a story the woman was telling. She went to Arizona to meet her dad for the first time. One of the older men could not comprehend that this could happen, and really, neither could I. He suggested, "You know, because your mother was in the marines, she could have demanded child support and the military would have come after him," as if she had never considered that. "When I finished high school, mom asked me if I wanted her to get in touch with my dad and invite him to my graduation, and I said no. I wouldn't change my upbringing for anything." She didn't need pity from this old, privileged, ignorant boomer. She said that she found her dad because his sister had taken a DNA test and tracked her down. The inner feminist in me notices these kinds of things: Of course it wasn’t actually her father who reached out to her; it was a female on her father’s side. I was also outraged that something like this could happen. A woman finds herself pregnant and the man who impregnated her can just choose not to care about his own offspring? He doesn't care yet she does. How? Maybe I have had these over-simplified ideas about abortion because I have never actually seen what happens to single mothers in practice. This is all an intellectual exercise for me. I knew what kind of man this was. He is the typical Port Angeles resident. Old, white, and ignorant. Neil called this table by I'm assuming it was his name, Randy Riggins, and said he is the only conservative he is willing to associate with. Towards the end of the night, after I'm sure they had plenty of wine, said to me, "Hey Kristina, you're pretty cute without your mask on," which is normally something that I have only been warned about. Maybe it was a normal thing to say when he was my age. Witnessing this interaction, I realize that, as woke as I like to think I am, I am more like the boomer than the black woman. My opinions have been influenced by the fact that I was never exposed to many disadvantaged communities. I am from a privileged white nuclear family, and most of the people I knew did too. I do not know the chaos of Chicago or any other metro area; I am from a sleepy secluded retirement town. Lately I've been trying to reconcile my identity in relation to feminism, and hearing a story like this makes me so confused and angry. It makes me feel a lot of things, but lean towards feminism. Neil had me polish wine glasses today. The ones for reds, the ones for whites, and I finally learned what those bellowing round ones are for: pinot noir. I can’t tell the difference between different wines and I think expensive wine is overrated, but for some reason I took so much pleasure this simple act of making sure the glasses we served them in looked perfect. I even used a special cloth that had the logo “Reisel: The Wine Glass Company” on it. Simply being around many luxury items boosts my mood. I would not buy this food and wine personally for myself, but I like being on the receiving end of it. I think about the Gentle Art of Domesticity and the author who had a career traveling all over Europe as a wine sommelier and I automatically have a positive opinion about pretentious wine culture, not for the legitimacy of it - I don't take it that seriously - but rather for the type of life she must’ve had. I enjoy being around beautiful and glamorous things. That is a big factor in how I choose my career in fact. Neil told me to buy the back of house guys a drink. I finally found out how old Arthur is: 20. So I offered to buy him a coke or whatever, but he responded with a moody "don't waste your money on me" because he steals those out of the fridge every day anyway. And Josh isn't a fan of beer, so Neil told me to work on my mixing skills and showed us how to make his signature Manhattan. This is really the only drink he has in stock right now; we don't even have cocktails on the menu but he offers a Manhattan to his friends if they stop by. He says it will be our signature drink when we open our bar, whenever that will be. I took in every moment of this demonstration, and then every moment of drinking it afterwards. "Cheers. We made it through another week, you deserve it," Neil said to Josh and I as he handed us his masterpiece. I needed to drive home, but I didn't care. And Trent doesn't need to know. I ate the extra mushroom ravioli. I am perfectly positioned in this job to learn in a forgiving environment. It’s not like Oak Table where they have dozens of expendable staff and can - and will - fire you at any moment. I am pretty much the only server who works here and Neil is counting on me. Trent says this gives me bargaining power. Sometimes I think about how I never would have had this opportunity if I never came back to Sequim. But then I snap myself out of it because if I never came back to Sequim, I would have found somewhere even better that isn’t run by a crusty white boomer. But at least by being better than everyone in Port Angeles but not as good as everyone in Seattle, I can take advantage of this time to become Seattle-level material. If I can’t live in Manhattan, I can at least drink one.

[lexygreenwell]

Golden Globes 2017 - Predictions and Hopes

The stockings may no longer be hung by the chimney with care, but the smell of Awards season is in the air! It’s time for the Golden Globes!

Admittedly, I haven’t been blogging as much this year. A lot has happened. I moved to California and began my journey through life as an adult, which can be quite scary and takes a little adjusting. But leave it to a new year to get my write-y senses tingling again. I’m hoping to do a lot more this year, in various different aspects of life, because 2017, if you tilt your head and squint your eyes, is a year of potential. Also I will need something to take my mind off of our incoming political administration. But I digress.

Film in 2016 was like a quiet kid at a party who just wants to let loose - he tries a few times, learns a lot about himself and the fragility of the human condition (hey there Manchester by the Sea) but he ultimately figures out how to have fun and brings the party in unexpected ways (La La Land). Meanwhile, I would equate this year in TV to a champion boxer at the top of his/her game - delivering consistent punches with razor sharp accuracy, and nabbing multiple KO’s throughout the season (I’m looking at Stranger Things, Game of Thrones and Westworld).

With the Critics’ Choice Awards behind us and Jimmy Fallon ahead of us, (I’ve got high hopes buddy) here’s who I think campaigned the most… er, I mean, will be taking home some big gold balls this evening. MaesTRO!

Best Motion Picture - Drama

I’m a little behind on my film viewing this year (but don’t worry, all will be rectified come Oscar week) so I’m doing a bit of guesswork here based on the word of friends and family, critics, momentum, and previous awards/festival recognition, if any. Based on these, I would have to say Manchester by the Sea is the favorite in this category, though I would also love to see Moonlight or Lion take top honors. (Just, not Mel Gibson. And spare Andrew Garfield).

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

La La Land has been campaigning HARD, and rightfully so - the cinematography is dazzling, the balance between whimsical and low key is expertly held, and all its contrasting flavors and dancing delights meld together beautifully under the visionary, artful leadership of “Whiplash” director Damien Chazelle. This award going to anyone else would be a major upset. (Gotta give love to Deadpool and Sing Street)!

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

A plethora of strong female leads this year, arguably lead by Viola Davis, but you’ll find her (most likely) taking home Supporting Actress. I said a few months ago that Jessica Chastain’s ethically challenging performance in Miss Sloane was not to be overlooked, so I’m glad to see her listed. But I think it’s between stunning newcomer Ruth Negga for Loving and Natalie Portman for Jackie, with the most likely winner being Portman, as her campaign has picked up speed as of late. But the globes have a history of taking kindly to breakout stars, so a first-time win for Negga is also probable. We’ll have to see with this one.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

From what I’ve seen and heard, it’s Casey Affleck’s to lose. This has stirred up a little controversy, since Affleck is still receiving praise while Nate Parker is not for Beasts of No Nation, despite both being accused (and later acquitted, in Parker’s case) of similar crimes. However, the nominees being what they are, an award for Affleck is the most likely scenario. 

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Yeah, it’s Emma Stone. Unless Cecille B. Demille has something planned for honoree Meryl, but I don’t think they’d do that. Props to Hailee tho.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Oh, The Lobster! I heard such great things about Colin Farrell’s performance. But this category could go a variety of ways based on past behavior: it could go to the best actor in a “this is way more drama than comedy but let’s go with comedy” comedy (Farrell), it could go to best actor in a musical who showed off tons of talent (Gosling), or it could go to the “laugh out loud” funniest (Reynolds). My hunch is, in keeping with the La La Land theme, they’ll go with Gosling here.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture

All amazing performances from what I’ve heard (and will soon see). But there’s a reason Queen Viola was placed in this category - she came to dominate. She was a force in Fences.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture

Gotta go with the favorite Mahershala Ali. Moonlight deserves a win and if it’s most likely to come anywhere, it’ll be here.

Best Director - Motion Picture

Damien Chazelle was nothing short of both a painter and poet. He’s our guy.

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Now this is a little tough, because the screenplay category at the Globes lumps in both original and adapted screenplays. Only Nocturnal Animals is adapted, but the strength of La La Land’s inventiveness and juxtaposing personalities is hard to resist this year. I could also imagine Moonlight or Manchester taking this home as well, given the direct, heavy impact of everything that is said, and unsaid. I’ll stick with La La, but the latter two are worthy spoilers.

Best Motion Picture - Animated

I think My Life As A Zucchini should be given an award for its name alone. I imagine Zootopia and Moana, feminist masterpieces, are the favorites to take the cake. And Sing was adorable (and Tori Kelly #slays). But personally, Kubo is instantly connective, and it appears to be the greater artistic feat among the bunch. I would choose it to win, but would have to go with the former two as worthy contenders.

Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language

Given the strength of the title characters’ performance, I’m going to have to go with Elle.

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

I have a lot of thoughts on scores this year (may have to put them in another post). Especially on Johann Johannsson’s work for Arrival (that cello lead emulating a whale that represents ominous contact from another world?! C'mon!) But it has to be the overarching mystic whimsy of Justin Hurwitz’ La La Land.

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

When I first heard JT’s “Can’t Stop The Feeling!” almost a year ago, I thought to myself, “Well, somebody’s winning an Oscar.” It seemed like a sure thing. But then “City of Stars” came along, with its all-at-once haunting yet catchy melody… in minor, I might add. It perfectly captures what we see and feel in the film, the push and pull of falling in and out of love with Los Angeles, being inspired, yet disheartened by pursuing a life as an artist. It takes true mastery to compose a work that melodically and lyrically mirrors the essence of such a complex feeling. So as much as I’d love to see JT or even Lin-Manuel win a Globe, the genius of Justin Hurwitz and La La Land is not to be outdone this year.

TV, quick! What an extraordinary year!

Best Drama

Stranger Things - I think as a whole, it was the best, freshest, and most entertaining package TV had to offer this year.

Best Comedy

Atlanta - Let’s give Transparent, Mozart and Veep a break.

Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

It was all about The People vs. O.J. Simpson this year.

Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama

Evan Rachel Wood - the skill and self-control required to switch almost instantaneously from pure hysteria to robotic dread is ridiculous. Acting master class.

Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Drama

Rami won last year, deservedly. Let’s try Bob for Better Call Saul.

Okay, I’ll leave it here for now, but stay tuned for more blogs and other trinkets and things in the coming year :) Happy Globes!

[thatgirlwhoworksforwhatshew-blog]

tarak,

lets not beat around the bush, i miss you. like alot.

im not even going to get into what are the things that keep reminding me of th time we had, because thatd be me listing out my every minute of the day. yes, there are times when i remember you not for the good-reasons, but mostly i end up wanting to think of you instead of living in such a denial of ‘im over you’.

i know you must be going through alot, im not trying to compare us here, on who is feeling it more deeply, quality and quantity- how much ever of a utilitarian i claim to be, i want to be stupidly selfish enough to say i feel it hit me very hard. especially when i see people around me claim their relationships to be like the epitome of perfection and love, i just cant help but think of the beautiful masterpiece we could have made together. 

they say ‘chaos brings art’., that, time will tell. until then, ill just sit around and feel things like how its supposed to be.

i hope its not that hard on you.whom am i kidding, how much ever i convince myself that you will get over me, by pouring alot of ‘hate’ like how your friends wanted you to, im still silly enough to hope that you wouldnt be that harsh on me. gosh, this is never going to happen is it? im only going to die in dissapointment of letting things go this far, and getting nothing in return(when i now have the chance) or do i?

i know you, i know the charm, i know how you effect people, and how much ever stupid and goofy you get around me, i know what you are- or atleast i knew. why did we let things go this recklessly? i was immature, but why dint we sort things out then and there. gosh, i just cant look at the word jodhpur without a little guilt., i cannot look at any word starting with a T, and has both R and K. 

do you have any idea how many songs have the word tara, taraka, in them? its like some stupid prank someone is pulling on me. my mom also began to ask me how youre doing, she out of everyone, made an assumption that my mood is practically proportional to my time on my phone and phone calls, which basically is only with you. so she goes like “oh, tarak dint call today” after few days, she began to wonder if things were fine with you, and i burst out angrily, that ‘you should be fine because youre avoiding me’. please be true! anyway, i dont care where this questioning is coming from, but i reasoned out how this equation of my good moods being equated with our calls, was a little irring in the beginning, because i dont think i need some ONE person to keep me happy. it was a troubling thought which i used to hold a grudge on myself for depending on you for what ever greedy reasons. but i began to realise how first, that wasnt the case. i wsnt greedy on this reason, i was just looking for a support and a person to share my happiness with. i was greedy maybe when it came to things like, eventhough i knew it was hard for you, i was still there poking things and making it harder for you. TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU NOW BLOCKED ME. WOW. im not blaming you, maybe you did the right thing. maybe if you dint do that, we could have pulled each others hair out in this menace. but did we really do the right thing if i am feeling this way right now? whats the point tarak?

its 10:10 right now. wow. 

honestly, there are times when i thank myself for this space, because i really enjoy doing things for myself, but by the end of the day, i really hoped that youd call or email, so that i could tell you about all the amazing things i read, watched, discovered and i desperately want to share them with you, but i cant!

i got back to my bubble, my day basically revolves around reading and arranging my library. i still hold heidi close to myself when i sleep every night. i really regret not finishing it for you. but i dont know how much meaning she hold to you anyway. shes my world, she is the first thing i was obsessed with, and i thought she’d bring you similar joy, but now we never know i guess.

ive been doing philosophy for NET, although i havent started in serious mode, illl get there soon. i applied for an internship navdhanya, and have made plans of what to do with life., quite roughly. i even made a bucket list, of things i should try, filled with things that fascinate me. sample, fireflies. i never saw them in real life. and now i feel bad just by that thought. but yeah, i was pretty serious wheni made that list, and i keep adding things into it every now and then. i dont know why i mentioned this now, but i felt like it. ohh, since im updating about life, i should mention how i spoke to dad(basically, a mail) about most of the things i could never say to him, mostly stressing on how now i should be left unbothered. 

since i couldnt give rockstar another chance, sorry boss, the thought of having to go through that actress’ bad acting for three hours was itself torturous., i found the screenplay/script of the movie., and let me tell you how good i felt after reading it. i had better actors in my mind, and i dreamt about it for a couple of nights. it was a rollercoaster. i think screenplays do that to you. its like reading the book instead of watching the movie, but rockstar has to do with the songs, and since i had a clue about them, i can justify now. and i think i understand you better now, but i dont know, my timing of watching the movie is like another satire. not just this one, many more. gosh, i have like an entire saga of things i could use to cry over to. the other day, i cried while reading tagore poetry, although that was a worthy reason, its crazy how i dont know what little thing could be a trigger.

but how much ever i might try to romanticize all of this, tarak, i really think apart from the happy and goofy times we spent, which dont actually matter as much if we look back(except for nostagia purposes) id say we both needed a better versions, and both of us seperately too needed to be honest with what we are.. not just in showing the other person. im talking about myself mostly. and, for what ever we had, id hate to call it, but because of the lack of a better word, lets admit, we were toxic. and i have to say, how much ever you tried to get over your ego and wanted to be a feminist, looking back at minute details of the interactions we had, plus from the ones you talk about to others, i realised how often there were times when you basically preached something and failed to follow. im slightly ashamed to admit this, but i have gone through a phase of man-hating when i realised the things i have seen around,  thats basically when i realised how these could be the things you failed to see, (and prolly reasoned out for good enough reasons) but somewhere deep inside, i know its not so.like i read it in some book, (which bt the way, i should say felt like i was reading line by line about you) because it talks about how men who seem woke, but still choose to do the same thing, although for different reasons(or so they claim) is another result of the system. and i just cringed at this thought. because im sorry, but i felt it multiple times in our stay together. 

tarak, honestly how much ever im loving reading and researching, im afraid im getting very theoretical. now i cannot stop myself from pin pointing mistakes in everything, and am clearly missing out the beauty in things. if i learned one thing, love is for people who want to give up reason. if you are too calculated and stubborn, you can never love. im not saying im getting calculated and all brains-no-heart, but im slanting that way, and im just afraid i might never find redemption because i like this more. id choose this over love. for now. im sure time will prove me different, but let me tell you how much i value reading and art.

i guess we never spoke about this, why did we not? 

you know the whole ‘books are my bestfriends’? this is literally my life summarized. in my entire time at indus, i basically spent most of the time in the library, or in the washroom- where i used to sneak in, to bunk science classes. i had a reading tree also. under which i used to read in the sports period. prajeeth was a science guy, and the labs were right opposite to the library, so he used to keep a check on me, i often got late to catch my evening bus, so he’d make sure i dint. not to forget the music room. that was another room i spent some quality time in. while the library was in the first floor of the new building, the music room was in a circular room, on the terranc. the whole terrace was for music and art. we had a lot of empty open area where we were given assignments in. i love that place. id want to take you there one day, if, you know... 

so as i was saying, i just prefer reading and listening over anything. at this point, it feels like i know nothing apart from these both. i know you wouldnt agree with me being a good listener, but i know me, and i know im good.

well, now about us, i dont know. i really dont. i may say id be happy if you move on, and find yourself a woman, but i dont know if i can say it at this point, when im clearly meaning it. so, i can only hope for you to become a stronger person, collecting yourself from all of the past. and if you’re moving on, good for you., but id like to take my own sweet time with my memories of you,us, and laugh cry cringe all at once slowly. im not sating im attempting to get over you, because somehow that is making me think about you even more, and its actually making me want you for a whole different list of reasons. ill stick to this natural flow, and ill see you when i see you, years from now, or maybe more. somehow in the midst of some really stupid portions, there are some things you set a high limit in, for men to fill in- who might enter my life. so its going to be a big deal if i commit to someone tarak, and id still want to share about it with you, i dont know if that comes out from mere friendship or more, but i dont mind either ways.

i want to say this one last thing, because ive been wanting to say it for a long time, after the phone call.

it might be years later that we meet,and finally talk, when ever it is, how ever long it has been, if you turned out a good man, not just rational and responsible but realist and a romantic., id love for me to fall for you all over again, or maybe fall correctly* this time, until then ill wait.

 i want to wait. 

that’s me. there are surely many more things i want to say, but i will wait, like i said, and its not like youre going to read this, so its fine. ill look forward for what is coming, i hope you are healthy and are fine (at the least). i miss akbar, i hope aunty is not having a hard time seeing you break down anymore, i hope thats not the case, dont cry tarak! did you stop smoking? i was thinking about it on the 26th, i hope youre sticking to your resolution. i miss the smell of it, i sometimes open my specs-case to smell it, and it reminds me alot of you and red rum. its amazing. i miss it all, i miss you guys alot, i miss you babu. take care. 

xo

raaga.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

A survival guide to dick pics (both solicitied and unsolicited)

In a strange way, dick pics have defined this weird, at times beautiful, but mostly horrifying place we call the world wide web.

I mean is there any online experience more universal than encountering a penis you never expected nor wanted to see? It's perhaps only surpassed in its pervasiveness by trolling.

A 2017 market research survey by YouGov, an online polling company, found that 53 percent of millennial women have received one. (The online survey was weighted to represent U.S. adults over 18.) Dick pics are such an embedded aspect of our online experience, in fact, that there's even a blockchain for that. 

SEE ALSO: How porn can help stop the toxic sexual culture that led to #MeToo

Dick pics weren't even a possibility before widespread internet and cellphone access. Sure, really committed folks could snail mail penis photos. But the distinct experience of suddenly receiving digital schlong in the palm of your hand is pretty much exclusive to the smartphone age.

You don't even have to be a heterosexual woman, a gay man, bi, or romantically interested or involved with someone who owns male genitalia in order to encounter dick pics. Spend any amount of time on services like Chatroulette or OKCupid, and there they are: dicks. Everywhere.

We're in the golden age of penis portraiture. But unfortunately, we only get to talk about the negative side of it, when dick pic culture can actually be very intricate, multilayered, sex-positive, and feminist (more on that later).

So, we've helpfully put together a complete guide to getting a handle on dick pics, both of the solicited and unsolicited variety. Without further ado, some rules:

1. No, it is never OK to send an unsolicited dick pic

Let's get this one out of the way. There is never ANY reason to send an unsolicited dick pic. We don't care if you're just doing it for laughs. It doesn't matter if you think you can reasonably assume the other person is willing.

Even if it's with someone who's already given prior consent or has expressed interest in receiving a dick pic, you still can't know where in the world they are at the moment you decide to surprise them with some unrequested wang.

Remember: You're inherently dealing with a digital interaction when it comes to dick pics. That means consent is even harder to establish without an explicit and enthusiastic, "Yes!" Lots of communication can be lost without visual body language cues, and tone is easily misinterpreted. 

Always make sure your schlong shot is desired before proceeding. And for parties who want the D pic: Don't be afraid to respectfully ask (as long as you're clear that "no" is absolutely an OK response.)

2. When it's OK to send a dick pic it can be fantastic

Now that we've established the basic concept of consent, let's dig into the less talked about phenomenon: Lots of people (yes, including lots of women) actually love receiving solicited dick pics! 

Don't believe us? Well, Bustle recently wrote an article about the growing phenomenon of dick appreciation threads. One redditor from r/LadyBoner, Kate, explained that, "I don't like porn because I have to see the men's stupid faces, whereas with a dick pic, I can imagine whatever I want or even find a dick pic that looks like my boyfriend's." 

For her, it's even empowering. It feels like a reclamation, she said. "It's an act of choice and agency, unlike when unsolicited dick pics are sent to me ... Dicks are fantastic when I've consented to interact with them."

Here's why dick pics can be an awesomely sex positive and feminist experience: In a world where sending nudes via Snapchat is practically considered a formal "next step" in a millennial relationship, it can feel really weird if it's only one-sided. Uneven distribution of exposure between the two parties can lead to a sense of uneven vulnerability.

Nudes should be a mutually agreed upon, enjoyable, and equal experience. It's an opportunity to appreciate and explore each other from a distance (if you protect yourself properly, which we'll get into later). If you're sexting with visual aids, dick pics are integral to that balance.

There's an art to a good d pic.

Image: vicky leta / mashable

However, not all dick pics are created equally. Which brings us to ...

3. There's definitely an art to taking a great dick pic

I'm not gonna lie: Having never possessed a dick myself, there's a limit to my advice on the mechanics of taking a good dick pic. For that, check out this great guide from the creator of the blog Critique My Dick Pic (NSFW, obvs), Madeleine Holden. To summarize: Stop freaking out about size, no "log shots," and setting/production value is important.

However, as a receiver of many D pics (both solicited and unsolicited), I do consider myself something of a connoisseur of the art form. Here's what to know about creating a masterpiece:

One of the sexiest aspects of a dick pic is the sheer thrill of receiving one. It's a naughty digital secret you now share together. Like the appeal of getting your own private striptease or sexting, it's personal, just for you, and a pretty high level of intimacy for a bunch of pixels on a screen. Really makes a lady feel special, you know?

Confidence in your dick pic is super sexy — but arrogance makes us want to gag (and, no, not like the porn stars). Do not use dick pics as a platform to boast and showboat. Which goes hand-in-hand with ...

When it comes to pics, size truly doesn't matter. For one, you can't even accurately judge in a photo. And if you're throwing in an object for scale in a dick pic (like a banana — yes, I swear to god men do this), you're already failing.

What matters is making your dick pic personal. No two dicks are alike, and your partner asked to see yours for a reason. It's because they already like you, which means they probably already like your dick.

That segues perfectly into our next hot tip: NEVER REPURPOSE A DICK PIC YOU ALREADY SENT SOMEONE ELSE. It is painfully obvious when you're using a stock photo equivalent of a dick pic. Don't think we won't notice, either. Like, damn, Easter's coming up but there's a Christmas tree in your photo ... 🤔🤔🤔

I know the phrase "dick pic" rolls off the tongue (get it?!), but if you're comfortable, you might want to try a dick vid. That invites all sorts of new possibilities for creativity and intimacy, that you should always discuss with your partner first.

Have fun. Sending nudes should be about making each other feel wanted, so only dick pic when both of you feel great about what's happening.

There's a lot of trust that goes into sending a nude. And don't underestimate the need to protect yourself, your data, and your schlong. Check out these safety tips.

4. How to clap back at an unsolicited dick pic

It's hard to describe just how violating it feels to get an unsolicited dick pic. You can't ignore the negative aspects of non-consensual dick pics, and the disturbed psychology of individuals who do it.

It's ludicrous that, while we have laws prohibiting flashers IRL, virtually assaulting people on the internet has no real consequence (besides perhaps getting kicked off a platform). So we recommend shaking off the heebie jeebies of this experience by reclaiming that unwanted penis.

There's lots of different forms of revenge. One woman threatened to send any dick pics she received on Tinder to the perpetrator's mom (and actually followed through with it). Others choose witty retorts. There's even an app to help you do just that.

Artist and activist Whitney Bell reclaimed the experience of receiving unsolicited dick pics by turning them into an art gallery called I Didn’t Ask for This: A Lifetime of Dick Pics, and calling attention to harassment in the digital space. "Professional penis photographer" Soraya Doolbaz took a different artistic approach, with her high-end dicture gallery advocating for better solicited dick pics, while also stripping this symbol of patriarchal power through humor.

So do whatever feels cathartic and right for you, and grab that horrifying unwanted dick by the literal balls. Go wild. Get MS Paint involved. Photoshop a "This Is What A Feminist Looks Like" t-shirt onto it, and send it right back.

Because some fool just sent you their genitals. Abuse the hell outta that power.

5. But most importantly: Protect yourself first

We've had some fun, but the hard truth (no pun intended this time), is that clapping back can lead to even more harassment. That's a risk you don't have to take if you don't want to. And there's other, safer forms of recourse. 

Like we said, there's little to no legal consequences for it in America (though officials are trying to change that in places like Australia, Canada, and Britain). 

But the best options is to block the person immediately: Whether barring a phone number, Instagram or Snapchat account, un-matching on Tinder, disabling open DMs on Twitter, or changing your Airdrop settings to "Contacts Only."

On most platforms, you can and should report them too (though the results are not always stellar.) Many dating websites even removed the ability to exchange photos altogether to fix the issue. But the following apps explicitly classify harassment like unsolicited dick pics as a reportable offense: Twitter, Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, Reddit, and Snapchat.

So when it comes to dick pics, practice safe sexting. And above all, make sure your virtual junk is only sliding into those DMs who want them. 

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