#and i lose sight of how everything comes together. which is another reason why i find having a vision. my vision may have specific parts

[illiterateaffairs]

breaking point | stiles x reader

masterlist

pairing: stiles stilinski x f!reader (best friend/witch)

word count: 2,589

warnings: brief mention of having a period but one sentence! cursing, angst, kissing (oh my!)

summary: set at the end of 3b. you pride yourself on being the strong one in the pack so your friends don't have to be. but after recent events - watching stiles get possessed, losing allison and aiden - you can't push your feelings away any longer. thankfully, there's a sweet boy outside your window ready to be there for you this time.

author's note: i have so much i can say about the world in which this story lives but don't want to drone on and on...so another note at the end and more to come. hope you enjoy! <3 (and for anyone following me for jamie tartt x reader content...do not give up on me yet!)

You couldn’t remember the last time you cried. 

You think it had to have been when you were a kid. Maybe a scraped knee. Maybe after you had rewatched Bambi for the thousandth time.

What you do remember is the core reason you stopped letting yourself cry. 

Seeing Scott after his parents divorced taught you there were worse things in life than cuts and scrapes. You’ll never forget the look on his face the day his dad moved out. You and Stiles tried every trick in the book to make him smile but it took days for you to see his crooked grin again. 

Though, that was nothing compared to when Stiles lost his mom.

You had never experienced grief like that, that wasn’t a cartoon animal in a movie. It was anyone’s guess why your families let Scott and you attend the funeral, but the three of you were already codependent by eight years old. You were overwhelmed by the sight of seeing your silly, sweet best friend cry so hard, and it was harder to watch his dad fight through his own tears. Even Scott got choked up. But not you. 

Of course, you were just as devastated. Claudia was like a mother to you. But observing the equally upset people trying to comfort young Stiles made you want to be the one person in the room who could just be there for him and let him mourn. Even as a little girl, you had the selfless instinct to put your feelings aside and prioritize your friend’s.

You stay strong so they don’t have to; that became your mantra, even subconsciously. 

No matter what shit you were going through, you swallowed your own fears, pain, and anger so you could be there for whoever needed you. And that decision soon became a part of your programming. Even if no one was around, you never let yourself break, no matter the situation. 

You stopped crying during movies, no matter how depressing. 

The first time you experienced period cramps so bad you had to stay home from school, you just bit your tongue and didn’t shed a tear. 

As you transitioned to middle school school, and into high school, and your feelings for Stiles went from innocent crush to more, you pushed any heartbreak down when he looked right past you at Lydia Martin. 

Admittedly things have gotten harder the last year. Being there when Scott was bitten by a werewolf was startling but you swallowed your fear for him and focused on his well-being. You even held it together when you started learning of your own supernatural abilities and family secrets that changed everything you thought you knew about yourself. In moments of danger and near-death, you focused on making sure Stiles was okay. Making sure Allison was okay. Lydia, Derek, Isaac, even Jackson at times. You were physically incapable of taking a minute to assess how you felt about things, your mind just redirecting to concern for your friends and loved ones. 

There were some close calls. Mainly when it came to Stiles.

The night he played his first lacrosse game with you cheering in the stands ended with Gerard kidnapping and scarring him. The second you saw his face afterwards, you nearly let the damn break. 

It was no surprise that the last few months were particularly challenging. You could hardly stomach watching Stiles, Scott, and Allison nearly sacrifice themselves to save their parents, your hands plunging Stiles into the ice cold water. It was nearly impossible to watch him become the shell of who he was in the weeks following until he wasn’t himself altogether. 

And then Allison…

You felt the loss of Erica and Boyd heavily but you knew Isaac and Derek were taking it harder, so you were there for them. However with Allison…she was one of your best friends and that made it infinitely more difficult to bear. But she was Lydia’s best friend. Scott’s first love. They needed you more than you needed to cope on your own. 

And then, tonight. Just as you finally put an end to the horror that was the Nogitsune, your pack was hit with another loss: Aiden. Lydia’s relationship with him was complicated, but that didn’t make her any less devastated as she ran out of the school and took in the scene. Holding your friend while she sobbed over the death of two of the most important people in her life is traumatizing, but reaffirming nonetheless; you had no right to cry when someone else was going through worse. 

It was an unhealthy and ridiculous thought, but it was what your brain had been conditioned. 

So here you were, slowly entering your room at an ungodly hour after making sure Lydia would be okay on her own. If it were up to you, you would have stayed with her, but she remained firm that she needed to be alone. And you trusted she meant that. You drop down onto the edge of your bed, heavily, the weight of the last few days - weeks, months, year - making you collapse. Normally, you could push any swirling thoughts away and mindlessly get ready for bed, but as you struggle to pull off your boots, your mind is racing. Scenes of Allison dying, Lydia’s scream, Scott’s face, Stiles collapsing, play in your head. Your lip is quivering. Your hands shake as you drag the shoe’s zipper down your leg. And then suddenly, the unfamiliar feeling of a hot tear streams down your face. You wipe at them hastily, trying to snap yourself out of it but they keep coming. 

You’re on the verge of hyperventilating when you sense someone outside your bedroom window, hearing something bump against it a second later. Without another thought, you’re up and pulling the curtain open, your hand nearly raised to cast one hell of a spell on whoever could be lurking outside at this time after the night you experienced. But your stomach drops when you see Stiles perched on the other side of the glass. Even quicker now, you pull open the window and yank him inside anxiously. 

“Woah, you’re quick. I didn’t even get a chance to knock,” Stiles mutters softly.

“Stiles!” you gasp out as quietly as I can, “What the hell are you doing? You should be in your home, asleep, resting, safe! And you’re risking your life for the second time tonight climbing up here!”

As you scold him, your hands grip onto his flannel, searching him up and down for any sign of distress. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Stiles whispers, his hands reaching out to gently rub your shoulders, “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not,” you shake your head, “You should be home. You should be with your dad, the last few weeks have been killing him.”

“I texted him,” Stiles bypasses quicker than he should, “I just wanted to see you.”

You look up at him for the first time since he’s been in the room, your eyebrows pinching, “You what?”

“Yeah, I…” Stiles pauses as he observes your face. He gently lifts his right hand to cup your face gently, his thumb wiping a tear, “You’re crying.”

Shit. You’d forgotten about that. 

You swallow thickly, making half a move to pull away from him, but he’s instinctive and doesn’t let you get far. You start shaking your head, averting your gaze again and aggressively wiping at your own face in another attempt to hide. 

“No, I’m okay. I’m fine.” you insist.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Stiles argues. 

“No it's not,” you shake your head more, “God you shouldn’t be comforting me, you almost died tonight.” 

“But you’re allowed to be upset. A lot has been happening.” 

“But Lydia and Scott…”

“No, Allison was your friend, too. It's been a rough few days...”

“No, Stiles, stop, it's not that!” your voice cracks as you quietly exclaim, looking at him firmly now, ���The last few days have been…awful. I am so sad about Aiden, and I am devastated about Allison, but I can’t stop thinking about how Scott and Lydia must feel.”

Stiles sighs, “You cared about them too.”

“I know that, but Lydia lost her boyfriend and her best friend within days. Scott lost, like, the love of his life. And that’s what makes my stomach hurt. My mind keeps going to how much it must be hurting them, and I can’t even comprehend it- I can’t even go there because it seems excruciating. And then I feel guilty for even thinking about that, when that’s not what happened to me. They lost their person, and you’re still…” 

Your voice trails off when you realize the implication of what you’re saying.

He’s your person and he’s still here. 

You feel your eyes widen as you process what you just admitted to your best friend. You take in his own surprised expression as he realizes it, too. His hands are still on either side of your face as you look down and sputter, trying to form another coherent sentence. 

“I just meant…so many bad things have happened the last few days, but the one thing I can't stop thinking about is how I almost lost you tonight…” you whisper. You force yourself to look at him again and his lips part, still in a state of…shock? Awe? 

When he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds, you hurry to fill the silence. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be saying or thinking any of this.”

You make another attempt to pull away from him, but he pulls you closer. 

“No, no,” he whispers.

“You don’t have to say anything to make me feel better, in fact that’s the last thing you should be doing,” you continue rambling.

“Hey, stop it. You don’t ever have to apologize, especially not to me. Just because someone may have gone through worse, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to react or mourn or feel. You’re always so strong for us but it's okay not to be sometimes. And…” Stiles takes a deep breath, “You’re not the only one thinking about what-ifs tonight.” 

You look at him curiously as he continues. 

“What if I had been stronger? None of this would have happened - that thing couldn’t possess me. What if I had been smarter and figured out how to stop the Nogitsune sooner? What if I had really hurt you when he was in control? What if he targeted you the other night or tonight? What if we lost you instead. Despite everything that happened with everyone there, I can't stop thinking about you, you, you. What if I had lost you?” 

You feel your eyes beginning to well up again, at your body’s mercy with no way of stopping it. You could hardly process Stiles' words, in disbelief of the weight they carried. 

“Stiles…” you whisper, but are unable to complete the thought. 

“That’s why I’m here. I couldn’t stomach being away from you right now.” Stiles pauses, before taking a deep breath and continuing, “I'm sorry for not saying it sooner, and sorry for every second you have spent thinking I don’t feel the way you do. You are the most important person in my life, and all I care about half the time. I am…crazy about you. Maybe that’s a poor word choice after my mental state the last few weeks, but it’s true. And if I’ve learned anything from all of this, it's that life's too short. And I don’t want to spend another moment of my life not being with you.”

You stare at Stiles, forced to blink away stray tears. Your heart is racing and you’re still unable to form words, with a million different thoughts swirling in your head.

Not encouraged by your silence, Stiles starts to grow anxious, slowly stepping back and removing his hands from your face as he speaks again, “Was that…way too much, way too fast?…I can go.”

You hardly let him move an inch before you’re stepping back into his space and holding his arms firmly in place. 

“You mean it?” You ask emotionally, “It’s not just the near death experience talking? You really mean it?”

Stiles nods excessively leaning closer, “Every word. You’re my person, too.”

Your lips twist, as if trying to smile but your emotions are all over the place and it just leads to you choking out a sob. In seconds, Stiles' hands move from your face to wrap tightly around your waist as you sink into his embrace.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t wake up tonight.” You cry into his shoulder as he rocks you back and forth. 

“I’m here. I’m okay,” Stiles whispers soothingly, “Mostly because of you.” 

You try to steady your breath as you reply, “Scott and Kira did most of the work.”

Stiles rubs your back, “Not just the ritual tonight. The thought of getting back to you is what held together the last pieces of sanity I had left.” 

You slowly pull back so you can look up at him again, “Really?”

Stiles nods, reaching up to gently wipe your face, “Yeah…I don’t think I could have survived any of it without of you.”

You take a deep breath, briefly thinking about how much torture the last few weeks have been for him, but push the thoughts away when it becomes too much to stomach. You tenderly place your hands on his face. “I’m sorry we couldn't bring you back sooner.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t think about that. I’m here now, yeah?”

You nod, your eyes flicking around his face, taking in every detail you can see in your dimly lit room. “Yeah…”

Stiles gently brushes a piece of your hair back, whispering, “Right where I want to be.” 

As if by a gravitational pull, your face inches closer to him, your noses brushing first, before your lips finally meet in a soft, timid kiss. Your first real kiss. It only takes seconds for the two of you to become more comfortable, any trepidations fading away as you practically melt into each other. You sigh as his hands move down the curves of your body, your own hands gripping his hair. You would have never, ever pulled away if you didn’t need to breathe. Stupid lungs. 

You stay in contact, pressing your foreheads together. 

Breathing heavily, Stiles asks, “Can I…stay here tonight?”

You nearly laugh, “If you even had half a thought that I was going to let you leave after this, you’re out of your mind.” Not even a second goes by before you realize what you had said, your eyes going wide but then you see half an amused smile on his lips.

Stiles shakes his head, shushing you as he pulls you back in for another kiss. 

After a few more moments of kissing, and after you finally change and curl up in bed with him, your thoughts turn back to the recent events and you find yourself crying again. But unapologetically, comforted by Stiles' embrace and the fact that he was feeling the same things as you. And that it was okay to feel them. You both mourn Allison and all the friends you've lost. And eventually, you fall asleep in each other’s arms. The last few weeks had fully broken you. But it was okay, because you had someone to help pick up your pieces whenever you needed. And you’d be there to do the same for him. 

---

author's note: lmao i never know how to end things. but there it is! my first stiles fic in years. some may have read some of my old work from a years ago, but writing for stiles was my one of my first forays into fanfic over a decade ago. i always fall back on my stiles hyperfixation and with the return of fall, its back in full force.

i envision this work as part of the oc/reader character i've developed (mostly in my head) over the years, where she grew up as stiles and scott's best friend, pining over stiles and eventually finds out she is a witch. however, i never fully committed to a teen wolf rewrite, so i've written a few tidbits a while ago. i have an overall narrative i think she follows, but i also love the idea of playing with different ways stiles and the reader can get together, and this was the idea i've had most recently thinking about season 3b. i imagine the reader had already admitted to her feelings, but the timing wasn't right so she's finally giving into them and stiles finally reveals he reciprocates them. i could go on and on about the details for this "world" and the many alternate routes it can take.

let me know if anyone has any interest is seeing more of witch/bestie!reader x stiles in all of its shapes and forms, and feel free to inbox me any questions/thoughts/anything. also let me know what you thought of this! it finally got me writing again after a year, so i'm a little rusty, but eager to get back into it again <333

and again, i haven't forgotten my jamie series...i am trying to get over a hump of writers block for the next chapter but after that i'm locking in. :)

[burningcheese-merchant]

A Thought About Burning Spice Cookie

I was kind of just going about my business today when I had a sort of... revelation, I guess? About Burning Spice. Looking back, I'm not really sure why it took me so long to think of this, but I like to live by the ideal "the best time was then, the second best time is now", so here we go.

Burning Spice was once the Herald of Change (or History, in the original Korean text). He was said to have fought for and defended fledgling civilizations in the distant past, protecting people and helping them in dark times. His throne decor even says he used to let people into his palace and allow them to engage in honest discussion with him about their problems, after which he'd get up and go out and do something about those problems. He sounded like a pretty swell guy... until he got bored with everything and went insane, of course. But here's the thing.

I think I understand why he ended up this way.

To put it as vaguely as possible, I do stuff in real life that may or may not have something to do with history as a subject. And I will gladly tell you all point-blank: history is fucking horrible. History is bleak. History is dark and cruel. The more you dive into it, the more it appears to you as a joke without a punchline. History is a drama, a tragedy, and a big fucking farce all at the same time.

Of course Burning Spice got tired of it. I get tired of it sometimes. Because sometimes, all history ever seems to be is a bunch of delinquents writing "I'm a bad kid" on the chalkboard repeatedly forever and ever. Just a bunch of bad people hurting each other for reasons that'll only come across as stupid long after they've all died at each other's hands. I'm sure Burning Spice started to think "what's even the point of building anything if someone is just going to come tear it down?" And it's hard to not think that when that's what ALWAYS happens. That's what history is a lot of the time. Brutal competition. A war of all against all.

The cure to the cynicism and melancholy history can and will inflict on you, at least in my opinion, is... to stop dwelling on it, honestly. At the end of the day, you have to remember that the past is gone. What's done is done. Things happen and sometimes, you can't do anything about it. You can't go back and save Lincoln from being assassinated. You can't go back and stop the Holocaust. You can't go back and save the world from all those wars and famines and disease epidemics. History both changes constantly and is unchanging at the same time. You have to make peace with what you cannot change - the past - and move forward, because time won't wait for you. We have to remember these things, these dark times; we all have a duty to do so, for the sake of those that came before us and those that will come after. But we also have to remember to live for the sake of those around us here and now. It is the present that shapes the world the most. It is in the present that we find true happiness. Not in the yellowed pages of old textbooks about the past and not in the pie-in-the-sky fever dreams we have about the future.

I think that's what fucked Burning Spice over. He forgot to live in the present. He was so focused on bringing about change, so absorbed in giving everything he had to everyone else, so invested in preserving the past and paving the way for the future, that he started losing sight of what was already there in front of him. His friends. His people. Too much time spent on the bigger picture and not enough spent on the tiny details that don't seem important at first glance, but when you look closer, you realize are what made the whole, entire picture as big as it is in the first place. He, like many do, like I do, began to see how cyclical and futile history can really be. He just saw people looking for reasons to hurt one another and destroy anything good they'd built together. Civilizations that were once grand and prosperous falling to anarchy. Clans with close ties turning against one another. Friend groups fracturing. All this hard work, undone, over and over again. And for what? What did they do any of this for? What did HE do any of this for?

I think his descent into villainy was slow, but sure. A little piece of his soul crumbling to dust with every person he felt like he failed because whatever great change he enacted was undone and everyone else suffered for it. And no one was ever really there to help steer him back onto the right path. Not his friends, not his family, not his people at large. Whether this was because they didn't know he was hurting like this (he seems like the type to keep things close to the chest anyway), they didn't know how to help or comfort him, or they didn't care, ultimately does not matter; regardless, it boils down to Burning Spice never being reminded to find solace in those around him right now, instead of constantly fretting over those before or after.

Maybe if he did remember, if he paid more attention to what IS and not what WAS or what WILL BE, he could've been saved. If he'd let Shadow Milk tell him more about his books and the little puppets he liked to craft. If he listened to Eternal Sugar play her harp more. If he sat and played a few more rounds of Go with Mystic Flour. If he had a friendly sparring match or two extra with Silent Salt. If he ate and drank and danced with his fellow spices like he probably used to like doing. If he stopped thinking he always had to be this larger-than-life figure who lorded over and protected society, and just let himself breathe and be a normal, happy person. It wouldn't make the ultimate folly of history sting any less, but he could have at least made peace with it and continued onward in spite of it.

But he didn't. He succumbed to history's poison, like so many have and so many will. And in an ironic twist of fate, which you will also often find throughout history, the tide of change swallowed him whole and drowned him. He let the failures of yesterday color his perception of today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. More and more people came across to him as bad actors until the whole world was just a devil's stage play, and it was being performed at his expense. Hard work and self-sacrifice lost their flavor. He tried to keep going, tried to keep pushing. Maybe he knew what was happening to him on some level and fought desperately to save himself. Put duct tape over the cracks in a dam, because that's probably all it amounted to, because the wisdom he needed didn't exist within him at that time and he didn't/couldn't find it anywhere else. Pushed forward even when he couldn't see where he was going anymore. Until every muscle in his body hurt. Until he'd lived long enough to see everything he ever lived and worked for be taken apart for scrap, for a vendetta, for shits and giggles.

Until he started looking at those bandits and warlords and terrorists he used to help put away and thinking... "hey. Maybe they're seeing something I'm not. If nothing else at all, they sure look like they're having fun. Way more than I am right now." Until he gave in to despair and grew bitter, and thought "well, if nothing I do really matters, if destroying it all is what makes people happy, then maybe I should give it a shot."

And then he became a bandit, a warlord, a terrorist. He turned into all those people he hated and continues to hate today. He cut out the middle-man and just ended lives before they could begin. Razed civilizations to the ground because that was what was going to happen anyway, whether it be by his hand or someone else's. What does it even matter? What does anything matter? This is all history is. Pain and suffering. He's only doing what's natural. He's solving problems before they can even occur, really. He's doing everyone a REAL favor. Destruction truly is the only way.

The best way to make the world a better place is to make the lives of those around you better first. Even just helping the one person makes a difference in its own way. Think less about making history by winning a war or toppling a regime and more about making history in an old person's life by helping them up when they fall down. Or making history in a dog's life by volunteering at an animal shelter. Or making history in your friends' lives by having a fun day with them that they'll remember and cherish even on their deathbeds. Change doesn't have to be grand. It doesn't need to be an all-consuming tide that rises above the tallest buildings. It can just be gentle waves and seafoam, washing over the sand and kissing one's feet. That's enough, more often than not. More than one might realize.

Maybe if somebody made sure Burning Spice kept this in mind, he wouldn't have turned into a Beast in the end.

TL;DR: History is shit. Him losing it makes perfect sense. It probably would've happened to me, too. Somebody should've been there to keep him grounded. Everyone failed him and he failed himself. Remember to live in the present. YO SOCRATES, IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE

[henrycangelbaby]

In which: Joel wanted to say so many things—to apologize for the time he had lost together, to say sorry for losing her—but he couldn't. He pulled back slightly, encompassing her face with his hands. She leaned into him, nuzzling her cheek into his palm.

Or

Joel is reunited with his babygirl.

The house is quiet when Joel gets home; it's rather surprising to him; he expects to hear giggles coming from the kitchen or the living room, but the only thing that he can hear is the low chatter of the TV in the next room over. He wonders if maybe Sarah has decided to be responsible and send herself and Y/N off to bed at a reasonable time, but he doubts it; the two of them never really seemed to put responsibility over having a good time together.

 Joel doesn't even remember when Y/N and Sarah had become best friends. It felt like it had just been this way forever; he remembers when a very young Sarah had come home practically begging to have her new best friend to sleep over one night, and suddenly Y/N was sleeping over every other night. He should have been annoyed about it. Joel already had enough on his plate, raising Sarah by himself, but she had been such a sweet kid, so kind and lovely to Sarah. They seemed so inseparable, spending all day at school together to only to come home together giggling over things he didn't understand at the dinner table before crashing together in Sarah's bed for the night.

 He simply couldn't say no to yet another sleepover, so when Sarah called him after getting home from school, asking if Y/N could stay the night, he mockingly sighed before agreeing wholeheartedly. 

Joel found them in the living room together. The question of the silence was quickly answered when he saw Sarah laying on the couch; a peaceful sleep overtaken her. He then spots her best friend next to her. Y/N isn't asleep; instead, she sits awake, her head propped up dangerously on her palm. The sight of it makes Joel smile a little bit; despite everything, Y/N was a good kid. 

The older that she had gotten, the more he had gotten insight into why she spent so much time at his house. She spoke occasionally of her father's temper, her mother's ignorance, and how it had scared her and how sometimes she couldn't sleep from the fear. It had made his heart ache, as well as quelling any annoyance that he had felt feeding four people instead of three. Y/N had been a part of their family for years now; she spent all the holidays with them, buying everyone Christmas presents as well as doing chores around the house when Sarah did.

Her presence made Sarah very happy, and it eased Joel's worry for her. As long as she was under his roof, she was safe and happy, and that's what matters. 

Y/N's head snapped up at the sound of Joel's boots walking into the living room; she smiled up at him before, pointing to Sarah and miming for him to be quiet. He smirked as he sat down next to her. She launched into hugging him the moment he was sat, her eyes bright with enthusiasm.

 “Happy birthday, Joel!” 

He chuckled, his heart warmed by the action. “Thanks, baby girl,” he spoke before she continued, “I'm sorry I could be here this morning to make breakfast for you.” She pouted lightly. He just shook his head, patting her on the head gently. 

“That's ok, you're here now,” he assured her. “How've you been, honey?” 

He tried to be subtle about the way he worried for her wellbeing; he knew it had only been one day since he'd seen her, but both him and Sarah had been a little taken aback when she hadn't shown up at school the previous day. 

“Everything ok?” He asked, 

she hummed, “Yeah, I missed you and Sarah yesterday." 

As if awakened by her name, Sarah slowly sat up while Joel responded, “We missed you too." 

Joel turned his attention to Sarah as she sat up. “What are you girls doing up so late?" 

���Crud, what’s the time?” Sarah asked, looking up at the clock,

 “Way past your bedtime." Joel said

"But it’s still today,” she spoke.

Joel watched suspiciously as Y/N reached down to grab something while Sarah was talking, handing it to Sarah behind her back. Joel fought the urge to roll his eyes at their antics: 

“Listen girls, please not right now; I don’t have the energy for this." 

Before he could continue to complain, Sarah passed a box into his hands. “Here,” 

his curiosity peaked. “What’s this?” 

“Your birthday, silly." Y/N answered. 

He opened the box slowly, smirking slightly at the sight of a watch-shaped gift inside.

“You kept complaining about your broken watch,” Sarah explained,

“so we figured well.” Y/N continued,

“You like it?” They asked together, young eyes peering up at him; 

He couldn't help himself from pulling a small joke on them. "Girls, this is...” 

They cocked their heads in confusion together.

 “It's nice, but i… I think it's stuck; it's not." 

They leaned over in concern, looking at each other confused. 

“No.” Y/N was quick to state.

“What?” Sarah added.

He smirked. Y/N was the first to realize he was messing with them. “Ha ha, very funny Joel." 

Sarah slapped his arm away lightly.

“Where'd you guys get the money for this anyway?” he questioned. 

“Drugs,” Sarah answered without missing a beat. 

Y/N nodded alongside her. “Yeah, we sell drugs, only the hardcore stuff,” she added on. 

“This is great news; you two can start helping me out with the mortgage,”.

They shook their heads. “You wish." 

He knew it wouldn't be long until they both knocked out with the TV on in the background. Soon enough, they were passed out laying on top of each other in the way they usually did. He took them up to Sarah's bed one by one; he could remember a time when they had fit on one arm each, carrying them both effortlessly to bed.

Oh, how times had changed. 

It was the phone ringing that woke Y/N up; she had ended up on the side closest to it, likely (definitely) courtesy of Joel. The ringing wouldn't stop; she picked up the phone hesitantly, 

“Hello?” “Y/N? Sweetie, is that you?” 

She recognized his voice the moment he spoke, 

“Yeah, Tommy, what's up?” 

“I need you to put Joel on the phone now; can you do that for me, honey?” 

“Um,” she tried to think her brain was too sleepy to process what he was saying. 

“I need to speak to him now there's som-” 

The phone cut off before he could finish speaking. What was happening? 

Y/N gently shook Sarah awake, worried about Tommy's odd phone call. Sarah awoke to the pleas of her name. She pushed herself up gently. 

“What's going on? Y/N, what time is it?” 

Y/N ignored the question, explaining panickedly about the phone call. Sarah only looked at her worried.

“Let's go find dad.” She offered her hand out. 

The young girls walked around hand in hand, calling for Joel in the quiet, abandoned house. They stopped together inside Joel's room; the TV was playing a news report being shown despite the late time. They both turned around at a loud sound of something in the distance. 

“Uh.. What was that?” Sarah questioned

Y/N shrugged beside her, “Something weird is happening, Sarah." 

The empty kitchen was lit up by Joels phone screen, the ringing the only sound in the otherwise deserted kitchen. 

“8 missed calls,” Sarah stated after peering at the busted lock screen, “where the hell are you?” 

Y/N hummed; this was all so weird. The attention of the two girls was suddenly pulled to the sound of a door being yanked open. Joel stepped through it, slamming it shut behind him. Sarah let out a breath in relief.

“There you are, we whe-” 

“Girls.” Joel interrupted, his tone suddenly serious. “Are you both okay?” He continued; 

They both nodded confused. He spoke again, his back to them, busying himself with something. 

“Has anyone come in here?” Sarah and Y/N shared a glance 

“No” Sarah answered, 

“Why would anyone be in here?” Y/N added on. 

He shook his head, muttering to himself, “Stay back, okay? Away from the door.”

 Sarah spoke again, “Dad, you're freaking us out a little." 

“Joel, what's going on?” Y/N asked

“It's the Coopers.” He responded quickly and seriously, “Something ain't right with 'em."

"Are they sick?” Y/N asked worriedly

 “Yeah.” He let out a breath, "Yeah, they are."  

A sudden thud scared them, both jumping back in fright. Joel cursed under his breath, 

“C'mere.” 

He motioned for the two girls to stand behind him, pushing them away from the door. Suddenly the glass on the door was smashed, warnings flew out of Joel's mouth, none of them heard as the gunshot rang through the house, the material of his shirt quickly fisted in fear.He pushed them backwards, ignoring their pleas for an explanation.

"Listen, my girls,” he spoke seriously. “There is something bad going on." 

"We have to get out of here; you understand me.” The young girls shared a scared look before agreeing. 

They were quickly ushered to a waiting Tommy, he spoke angrily towards an unfocused Joel, who was ensuring both girls got into the car. Perhaps he had underestimated the chaos of the apocalypse, but nothing was going well; the roads were cut off and traffic piled up. The closer they got into the city, the worse it got.

He swore they were doing fine, until suddenly the only thing he could hear and see was the impact. 

Fuck. They had been hit.

His head felt fuzzy; he couldn't think straight. He pulled himself up; his heart dropped slightly when he saw his girls. Y/N was peering over at something– someone.

 “Joel!” she shouted quickly at him. She sounded so scared. "Joel, please, Sarah,” she insisted. 

Joel was rather horrified to find that Sarah had an injured leg. He helped her up into his arms. He turned to Y/N quickly. 

“Are you okay, honey? Hurt?” 

She shook her head. “I think I'm fine,”

He nodded. “Okay, listen, stay close by; don't go anywhere.” 

She turned around to find Tommy offering out his hand, insisting that she shouldn't let go. The streets were chaos; Joel could hardly think straight; adrenaline was coursing through his veins, anxiety forming a pit in his stomach; they ran far, dodging the people, avoiding the fire. The world had really turned in an instant.

Despite that, things were okay for a second.

They were suddenly being chased; the things, the creatures were on their trail. Tommy quickly slammed the door behind them, trapping the infected on the other side.

“Get to the highway!” he yelled, ignoring Joel and Sarah's questions as he pushed an upset Y/N towards them.

“Go!” he yelled, “hurry!”. 

Joel took his girls and ran. He didn't make it very far; before he was stopped by a soldier, Joel tried desperately to get his message across, insisting they needed help for his daughters.  

"Joel,” he heard a whimper from behind him, the soldier pointing the gun towards them. 

Suddenly they were down, he lost eyes on his girls only hearing the bullet, before he could think, beg for his life from the unrelenting soldier, another gunshot rang out, this time taking the soldier down. 

“Oh no…” Joel's heart felt like it might tear out of his chest.

 He runs over to Sarah; he feels sick. The blood in the way she cries—nothing can fix the ache he feels. She dies; Sarah dies in his arms; he holds her close, pretending that he can feel her heartbeat against him, but he can’t; her blood seeps through onto his clothes and his hands; it stains his heart forever in a way that is indescribable. He can't think, he can't feel nothing moves around them as he holds her close; eventually he's brought out of his haze. 

Tommy speaks carefully at him, “Joel?” 

He shakes his head in response, unwilling to address him. Tommy persists, 

“Joel, where is she?” 

It angers Joel. “What?” he snaps, turning towards Tommy, who stands quickly. Suddenly,  his heart drops. Tommy looks frantically around; he disappears out of Joel's eyeline. Joel knows exactly what he is looking for and who he is looking for. He can’t even get an explanation out, his mouth unwilling to move, to stutter around the excuse that he had just seen her; he swore Y/N had just been behind him a second ago. 

But she wasn't. 

Tommy searches frantically and messily, screaming himself hoarse, yelling her name over and over again as if she might magically appear from around the corner, but she's nowhere to be found. Tommy's knees collapse from under him when he sees it; the bloody flannel lies abandoned on the ground. Tommy recognizes it instantly; he had brought it. He remembers exactly the intent behind his purchase; he had laughed to himself when he saw the opposing color flannels, the light purple and blue reminding him so badly of his two nieces he had purchased them on the spot. 

The light blue that had reminded so much of Y/N was now sitting a few feet away from him, stained dark red. He picks it up, his hands suddenly stained red by the fresh blood. He feels sick; he is sick. He throws up when he lifts the blanket close to him, unable to stomach the warmth it still holds. 

Tommy walks back towards Joel in a haze, both of them gone. In minutes— how had they let this happen? 

Joel flinches instinctively when he hears Tommy walking back towards him; he hasn't let up on Sarah, unable to move away as her skin grows cold under his touch. Tommy doesn't say anything; he doesn't step aside to reveal a scared but alive Y/N holding his hand. Instead, he drops down beside Joel, keeping his eyes downcast, unable to look at Sarah as he hands over the flannel silently. 

“Tommy what?” Joel asks in disbelief, “Where is she?” 

Tommy could only shake his head in response, 

"Tommy, what the fuck where is sh-” 

“Christ Joel, she's gone.” Tommy interrupted him angrily. He gestured to the flannel, “probably already fucking dead.” He finished his chest, heaving with anger. 

There is nothing to explain the feeling that rips through Joel's chest; his heart feels shredded and ripped up into so many pieces he may never be able to put them back together. 

“My girls, my babygirls,” Joel mutters under his breath, tears leaking down his cheeks. 

Tommy takes the Flannel back, placing it gently over Sarah. This is how she would've wanted it, he thinks; she would have wanted to be close to Y/N in some capacity. The lone flannel was the only thing they had left of her, and Sarah needed it more than they did.

Jackson had been good to Joel, or at least that’s what the people around him think. He sees it in Ellie. She seems happier and more free. They've been here long enough for her to start settling down and making friends; she has three hearty meals a day and is receiving some form of education. The people around him say that they see it in him as well. Maria comments lowly to them that he seems more relaxed, a benefit that he now gets along better with her (and all the other residents of Jackson). 

Tommy had teased that he had filled out slightly with all the food Jackson had to provide. He had tried to care, that he had put on weight, that he was getting older, but after everything he had suffered through, his brother's teasing had rolled right off his shoulders. It felt like a good thing anyway, being able to be happy, healthy, and safe. 

But something didn't feel right. There was an anxiety that had settled deep in Joel's chest; he was unable to shake the feeling that something bad was coming. He knew that it was just in his head, his life since the outbreak had been on the run; the new peacefulness that had come with Jackson was almost unnerving to him. Perhaps it was the domesticity of it all that had really gotten to him. Although he was happy, he had Ellie and his brother and everyone else that came along with that; his heart ached in a way he felt he could tell anyone about. 

All of this, the community, the events, and the seasons. It had been years since he had celebrated Christmas; in fact, he had been unable to celebrate it since he had lost his girls. Even in Jackson, when the opportunity opened up for decorations and presents, he had to turn it down. The thought of putting up a tree without Y/N or Sarah made him ill. They had both loved Christmas; Texas winters were unforgivingly cold, but they had always seemed warmer alongside his small family.

He's sick of thinking about her. Jackson had allowed Joel time to reflect; perhaps time really does heal all wounds. Time and being surrounded by people that care about him has allowed him to reflect; the once gaping wound that had been Sarah was now patched over. For the first time since her death, he felt he was able to celebrate what her life had been instead of beating himself up for the fact that it had ended. He started to see past his loss, slowly letting Ellie in; he had even been able to tell Ellie briefly about Sarah; they would have been friends. good friends, at least Joel thought so. 

Joel felt that he could finally love Sarah's memory in the way he had loved her. Fully and without guilt. He couldn't do the same with Y/N. Her memory was a gaping infected wound that nothing could seem to heal. He refused to talk about her. Of course Tommy knew; Maria had some sort of idea through Tommy, but he couldn't even stand for either of them to mention her name. He was sure Ellie knew; there was a photo of Y/N in his bedroom. She was younger than Ellie in the photo, and it was very clearly not Sarah, but she had never asked about it. The wound still felt so fresh; it felt like it was poked every time he thought of her. 

He knew it was the guilt; she would be by his side, a fully grown woman if he had been paying attention. Maybe she would have already been in Jackson when they arrived, having stayed by Tommy's side through the outbreak. But she wasn’t. They had turned their backs for a minute, and she was just gone. Probably killed, with no one to care for her or mourn her. She had probably been so scared, and no one was around to be there for her. Joel would give anything to have been able to hold her close and tell her everything would be okay, but it wasn't; nothing was okay.

“Joel?” 

He hums in response to Ellie; they're sitting eating dinner together. Dinners together have become fewer, and after between the longer they stay in Jackson. Ellie is busier than him; friends, love interests, and hobbies take up more and more of her time. Although he sometimes misses seeing her 24/7 as long as she is happy, he is. 

“What's up?” he asks as she darts her eyes around nervously. Almost as if she is hiding something from him. 

“Can I ask you something?” She sounds scared. 

“Of course, kiddo,” he answers, confused. Ellie has no reason to be scared of him anymore. 

“You promise you won’t get angry?” she insists again. 

He nodded, agreeing with her, “Yeah, I promise."

Ellie takes a deep breath before asking, “Did you, um, did you have another daughter?” She stutters out. 

Joel feels locked in place for a second; the question takes him so off guard his heart stops beating in his chest for a second. Ellie opens her mouth quickly to apologize, fearing that she has overstepped, but he shakes his head at her in response. He allows them to sit in silence for a moment, considering his next option before he speaks. 

“It's complicated,” he says; truthfully, he doesn't even know where to start.

Ellie is quick to try and smooth over any problems: “It's just something Tommy said—probably misheard him or something; it's silly, real-." Ellie spoke, but she was cut off by Joel, who unintentionally interrupted her. 

“She wasn't technically mine,” he said quietly, unable to look up from his dinner. 

"Huh?" ellie asked in confusion, 

“She was Sarah's best friend.” He clarified quickly, “They were inseparable, had been best friends for years; she spent every other night and all holidays at my house." He choked out; for the first time in 20 years he was talking about Y/N, and it was making his head spin.

“Is she the one in the photo?” Ellie asked, referring to the photo of the unnamed girl that had sat on Joel's dresser ever since they had settled in Jackson. 

He nodded in response, 

“Her name was Y/N.” He spoke her name for the first time in years; it felt heavy on his tongue. 

“Was?” Ellie asked, “Is she, um, well gone?” She was unwilling to say dead, worried that it might provoke a sensitive Joel. 

He remains quiet for a second before answering her lowly "probably." 

Ellie goes to ask more, confused by his vague answer, but he shakes his head, stopping her. “I think that's enough questions for tonight, kiddo,” he states firmly. She nods in response before turning back to her food. Ellie doesn't approach Joel about it again; she can tell that she has received all the information that he is willing to give and doesn't want to make him angry. 

She redirects her curiosity to Tommy; not straight after she waits to get him alone, they end up on patrol together. Technically, he isn't not actually patrolling; Joel is still very much unwilling to let Ellie do anything even slightly dangerous, but she scopes out the landscapes with Tommy occasionally shooting when he allows her. It gives her a sense of freedom, even if Joel is sitting back at the patrol tower waiting for them. 

“Tommy?” he looks up at her, quickly distracted from the gun in his lap. 

“What's up?” he asks with a small smile on his face. He doesn't often get to spend time with Ellie; she's a good patrol partner despite Joel's resistance. 

“Can I ask you about something?” She says carefully, and he stops walking for a second, eyeing her up suspiciously. She doesn't usually ask him things; he wonders if she is doing the same thing Sarah used to do when Joel told her no: turn to the next responsible adult in her life (him) and ask for the same thing until she got a yes.

"Listen, if Joels already said no, I'm not gonna say yes, ok?” He is quick to lay down the law. She cringes at that quickly recovering her face to look at him. 

“It's not that ok, I just want to ask you about someone,” she tells him. 

“Yeah, sure.” Tommy says his curiosity piqued. 

“Is Y/N alive?” Tommy's breath hitched, his heart speeding up at the name. 

“How do you know her?” He asks

“Joel told me.” She responds quickly, and he lets out a breath. If Joel had already spoken about it, it was fine. He tries to find the words before he speaks them, but he comes up short. 

“Alive? Well probably not,” he speaks, the truth that has been simmering in the back of his mind for years. 

“Did you see her die?” Ellie asks

“No.” Tommy shakes his head. “She went missing when Sarah was killed, disappeared into thin air, and only left behind some bloody clothes.” He explains, 

“You haven't seen her since?” Ellie asked, 

“No, probably fuckin’ dead anyway." Tommy dismisses in a way that is so reminiscent of his brother. Ellie doesn't pry anymore; she knows enough to satisfy her curiosity. She feels strangely closer to Joel with the new information, her heart a little softer for the old man. 

Things in Jackson remain uneventful; people come in seeking the warmth and comfort that Jackson provides; patrols come and go; people begin to prepare for Christmas. The decorations going up make Joel's heart ache like it does every year, but he survives. Things are fine. Ellie doesn't press anymore about his past, which he is grateful for. She opts to spend more time with him than she used to, which is strange, but he would always value her company. 

Maria spends less and less time going out on patrol these days; she has bigger problems in the community, and with the rate that Jackson is growing, she feels like she spends every other waking moment greeting people and assigning houses. It's nice to get out sometimes; technically she should be protecting Jackson, but the path she's on seems harmless. The logbook remained clear of any disturbances for months now; it's just Maria and the heavy snow that had fallen as a consequence of Jackson's cold winters. Everything is peaceful and calm, even until she hears a gunshot ring out. 

It comes from close by—a lodge that had been abandoned forever ago. It was useless to the people of Jackson and had long sat by itself rotting away into the mountain. She has to go investigate the sound. Who could be there? Perhaps it was another patrol in need of help. She arrives quickly. The building looks to be empty; there is no light coming from it, no obvious signs of life. Maria knows better than to let her guard down, holding her rifle close to her chest as she yells out, urging anyone to come forward, yell for help. No one responds; she hears feet move quickly from a room somewhere; following the sound, she turns into a room; she walks in slowly; the person is backed into a corner, unable to escape. 

Maria steps closer, her view of the person's face skewed by a cloth wrapped around their lower face.

“Drop your weapon,” Maria orders quickly; they don't drop their weapon, instead bring it closer to them with a shaking hand. 

“Please,” they plead quickly. 

Maria falters for a second, the woman's voice taking her by surprise. 

“Please, I'm sorry for running; just leave me alone.” The woman all but begs; she doesn't sound dangerous; she sounds scared. Maria slowly lowers her gun, walking closer carefully.

“I won't hurt you,” she quickly promises to the younger woman. “Are you infected?” 

The woman shakes her head in response.

 “I’m not, I swear,” the woman says. 

“Are you alone?” Maria asks cautiously; she hadn't heard or seen anyone else in the desolate building, but she couldn't be too sure; she only receives a nod in response. 

“I’m Maria,” she offers quickly. She raises her eyebrows as an indication for the other woman to give her name. 

Maria watches as the younger woman pulls the fabric of her lower face; she speaks clearer without the fabric blocking her. 

“Y/N.” 

Oh, Maria pauses; she hadn't heard that name in a while, not since Tommy had retold Ellie’s prodding of his lost pseudo niece. The thought flashes through her mind quickly; there was no way. Tommy had swore she had died. What were the chances? Probably very little. She doesn't let the thought linger, moving to be face-to-face with the woman. 

"Listen, I'm from a commune; come back with me,” Maria offers.

Y/N stares back at her almost as if she was insulted by Maria's suggestion, 

“Why?” Y/N asks,

“Well, you're all alone out here." Maria states honestly, it wasn't exactly like this Y/N girl had anything else going for her. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Y/N asks, and Maria laughs gently. 

“If I had wanted you dead, I would've done it five minutes ago,” she says humorously. 

Y/N smiles gently at her, picking up her bag from beside her walking out after Maria. Maria helps Y/N up first onto the horse; she seems awkward getting up there. Maria watches curiously as she places a hand under her stomach, using the other arm and Maria's help to haul herself onto the horse.

Was she? Maria had found her alone, but maybe she hadn’t always been; maybe that's why she had been so scared that Maria was going to kill her. Her suspicions are all but confirmed when she instructs Y/N to hold on tight to her as they ride. Maria can feel it poking into her back. 

A baby bump. 

“Are you p-” Maria goes to ask, but she is interrupted quickly. 

“Yeah,” Y/N responds. 

Maria isn't quite sure what to make of her tone of voice; she sounds upset, almost. 

“How far along are you?” Maria asks gently.

she feels a shrug from behind her.

“A few months, hard to say really.” Y/N responds; 

Maria nods, “I’ll have you checked out with the doctor later.” She offers,

“That would be nice." Y/N responds, pulling her arms a bit tighter around Maria. 

They get into Jackson after dark; the town deserted as everyone stays home, keeping out the cold. There are a few people around doing odd jobs. Maria helps Y/N down off the horse she turns to one of them men who had been standing guard right inside the wall, “she's safe” she starts. Bringing strangers into Jackson wasn't exactly a normal thing; they were usually brought to Maria after being found. 

"Listen, I need you to get Tommy; tell him to meet me outside of the hall in ten,” the man moves off with a 'yes, ma’am,' while Maria turns towards Y/N.

"You wanna eat something?” She asks Y/N and nods, “Yeah, me too." Maria exhales.

They eat together in silence. Y/N sheds her winter coat to reveal a medium-sized baby bump. Maria isn't an expert, but she would estimate around the 5-month mark. Their eating is interrupted when the doors to the other empty hall are opened. Maria quickly gets out of her chair, promising to be back soon. 

Tommy looks confused as Maria pushed him away from the main hall; he had seen she was eating with someone, but Maria had quickly ushered him away. She exhaled before speaking,

"Tommy.” He nodded. “You have to listen to me, ok?”

He nodded again, confused by her tone of voice. Had he done something wrong? Was she angry with him? 

“Is everything okay?” he asked curiously. She nodded at him. 

“Listen,” she started. “I need you to help me identify the girl in there.” She spoke seriously. 

Tommy was confused. No one had ever asked him to identify anyone before. Who was this girl? Why did he have to identify her? 

“Who is she?” he asked. Maria gently placed her hands on his shoulders. 

“You need to be calm about this, okay?” she asked. 

He felt his heart rate pick up at the insinuation. 

“What?” He asked, confused again. 

Maria started hesitantly, “I think.” 

He encouraged her to keep speaking with a nod, 

“I think she’s Joel's daughter.” 

His breath hitched; he knew exactly who she was talking about; there was no way. Y/N was here? 

“I can't be sure, ok, same name, similar ages, but I didn't know her; you did,” 

He stared at Maria for a moment, unsure what to say. Suddenly an surge of energy overtook him; she had lived, Y/N was alive and well, and she had been sitting eating dinner with his wife. 

“Okay!” he said a little louder than he had intended, adrenaline in his veins making him energetic. 

Maria grabbed his arm before he could walk into the hall.

“Tommy, you can't just go in there guns ablazing okay?” Maria warned him, 

“What? I want to see her!” he insisted  Maria sighed,

“I know you do; it's just that." She started but didn't finish her sentence, 

“What, what is it?” He asked urgently, 

"Tommy, she's pregnant.”

He felt his heart stop; she was pregnant. She couldn't be. His heart ached with the fact of her age. How could she be old enough to be a mother herself? He choked on the revelation for a second. 

“She's a little fragile, okay. She's been on her own for a while. I don't want to scare her.” 

He let a breath out slowly before nodding.

“Just identify her, and we can go from there,” she promised him.

He followed behind her closely. She was the only one in the hall, and due to the late hour, Y/N picked at her food slowly, almost as if she was savoring every bite, scared that it might be the last meal she ate. The thought made his heart clench. They approached slowly; he trailed behind Maria, and as soon as he got close enough to see her face, he knew it was her. It felt like there was a shift in the air; he could feel it in the pit of his stomach. 

Being so close to Y/N made him feel weak. He had sworn for so long that she was dead, mourned the loss of one of the most precious people in his life, and here she was sitting in front of him, oblivious to his inner turmoil, oblivious to him standing behind Maria. Maria cleared her throat. 

“Y/N?” she asked, catching the woman's full attention. 

She looked up from her food, nodding at Maria in lieu of a response. 

“There's someone you need to meet, ok?” She looked hesitantly at Maria, suddenly aware that they weren't alone in the room. 

Before he could even comprehend the worry on her face, he stepped out fully into Y/N's view. The room stood still for a second; he panicked in turn at Y/N's silence; had she forgotten him? The thought made his heart clench. 

“Tommy?” A voice broke him through his haze; it sounded so small, almost like she was 13 again. 

He stepped closer to Y/N 

"Tommy, is it really you?” she asked hesitantly, almost like she didn't want to know the answer. 

He nodded as Y/N stood up. He could barely open his arms quick enough before she was hugging him. His arms were tightly around her shoulders. It was all suddenly so real. Y/N had lived. She was here right now in his arms. He pulled back slightly, placing his hands on her shoulders. His eyes brimmed with tears as he surveyed her face; she was so grown up. 

"Christ, honey,” he breathed, “so gorgeous and grown up.” 

Y/N smiled at him bashfully, re-lopping her hands around his neck to pull him close once again. 

“I missed you, Tommy,” she admitted quietly, 

"yeah, I missed you too, more than you know."

He watched as she finished her food, raising an eyebrow at her when she left some of it on her plate, insisting she was full; she wasn't. 

“Tommy?” she asked in between mouthfuls. 

“What's up?” he responded. 

He was willing to tell her just about anything to hear her voice again. 

“Is um-?” She started sounding unsure. “Is Joel alive?” she asked barely above a whisper. 

Tommy smiled again, even wider than he had been; Joel was alive; in fact, he was here, in Jackson, to stay. He moved his chair next to hers, putting an arm around her shoulder. 

“Yeah, he is alive,” he said, smirking lightly. She seemed to exhale at this. 

“In fact, honey, he's here.” Her eyes met his for a second, almost as if she thought he might be lying to her. 

“He's here?” She asked, “In this place?” 

"Jackson,” he supplied for her quickly. 

“In Jackson?” she asked again. 

“Yes, he is. I promise you.” Tommy said seriously. 

Y/N looked at him hopefully. 

“Can I see him?” she asked. 

Tommy glanced at the clock in the big hall before shaking his head.

“It's late; the old man will already be sleeping,” Tommy joked. 

It brought a small smile to her face. 

“How about this?” Tommy started, “You can sleep in my spare bedroom tonight; I'll take you to see him first thing in the morning.” he offered.  

She smiled widely at him, pushing up and out of her chair, a hand delicately under her belly. 

“Maria mentioned something about warm water?” Y/N asked, 

“Yeah, we got that. Take a warm shower before bed if you want.” Tommy spoke. 

Y/N seemed to light up at the prospect of that, gladly placing her hand in the crook of his elbow as they walked together towards his house. 

Tommy wakes up early the next morning. He gently peeks in through the door of his guest bedroom, a breath of relief coming from him as he sees a sleeping Y/N. He had woken up panting lightly pulled from his sleep by fear that it had all been a dream, but it wasn't. Y/N was here sleeping peacefully in the room next to his and Maria's bedroom. 

Tommy was not typically an early riser—not that he had much choice since the world had ended, but it wasn't exactly his calling. He was more like Sarah in that respect; he can recall getting up several hours into Saturday mornings to find that she was still sleeping. Y/N had been the opposite of Sarah, a naturally early riser, who Tommy would often find talking to Joel over a hot chocolate (or in Joel's case, a coffee) on said mornings. They would tease him gently about how they “had been up for hours” before everyone argued about who had the chore of waking Sarah up (they almost always sent Y/N; she was definitely Sarah's favourite amongst the three of them; they always came downstairs together giggling about something a far departure from her usual morning attitude). 

He knows that Joel will be up already; Jackson is waking up slowly; people making their way out of their warm houses, and Joel is no exception. He had always been the early riser out of the brothers; Joel had spent every morning she was there chatting to Y/N in the kitchen as they prepared for the day before anyone else is up. 

Tommy takes a deep breath before knocking; he had tried to plan out what he was going to say. Trying to tell your older brother that his (not technically) daughter that he spent years mourning was actually alive—in fact, she was asleep right now in Tommy's spare bedroom—was far harder than he had anticipated. 

He knocks lightly, unwilling to disturb the otherwise peaceful neighbourhood. It doesn't take long for Joel to answer; he looks unsurprised to see Tommy standing there, inviting him in quickly to sit at the dining table. Tommy isn't sure where to start when Joel asks him what's up, 

"Joel.” He starts seriously, “There is something I need to tell you." 

Joel lets a look of confusion wash over his face. 

“What?” he asks Tommy bluntly. 

Tommy suddenly understood why Maria had been acting so strange yesterday; this was a hard conversation. 

"Joel,” he tried again. "Y/N,” Tommy started, but his sentence was interrupted quickly by Joel. 

“Don’t even start Tommy,” he stated angrily. 

Joel didn't want to ever have to tell anyone about his failing towards the once-young girl; after telling Ellie, it had been too much. Tommy shook his head, effectively silencing an angry-looking Joel. 

“Y/N is alive,” Tommy said firmly. 

Joel quickly turned to disbelief, blinking at Tommy as if this were some cruel joke. 

“Look, Maria found her yesterday a while out; brought her back last night." Tommy continued on, 

"Is it  really her?” Joel asked in disbelief, 

“Yeah, I saw her last night. God, Joel, she was so grown up, I couldn't believe it.” Tommy rambled, 

“Can I see her? Now?” Joel asked quickly. 

Tommy frowned at Joel, not wanting to break his bubble the way Maria had to him last night. 

“Not yet ok?” Tommy spoke carefully. “Maria is taking her to see the doctor, then you can,” he explained. 

Tommy watched the flash on panic crossover Joel's face answering Joel's question before he could even ask it.

“She's fine, not hurt or anything, I mean." Tommy assured me he hesitated before speaking again. “But there is one thing." 

"What?” Joel asked snappily,

“She's pregnant.” Tommy offered. 

Joel couldn't think for a moment, his heart clenching in his chest. 

“Really?” 

Tommy only nodded in response.

 “My baby girl, having a baby?” he spoke aloud. 

The words rang in his ears, when had she gotten so old? Joel swore that she was still the young teenage girl he could remember her being. 

“I'll bring her over to yours when she's done, okay?” Tommy told Joel, gently patting his older brother's shoulders as he stood to leave.

Joel nodded in response, unsure of what to say; he had had too many revelations for one day, and it was making his head spin. 

He couldn't think after that and sat at his dining table staring at the abandoned cold cup of coffee; if he stared at it for long enough, he could see her face; perhaps he was really losing it seeing a thirteen-year-old Y/N in his cold cup of coffee.

A knock at the door pulls him violently out of his own head. He knocks over the cold cup of coffee, swearing as it begins to drip off the side of the table. 

“One sec!” he yells out, continuing to swear under his breath as he quickly cleans it up.

His hands shake lightly as he throws the dirty cloth into the sink. He takes a deep breath, unaffectedly trying to steady himself. He opens the door slowly and is greeted with the sight of Tommy smiling at him as he steps closer to Joel.

“I'm gonna leave y’all to it, okay?” 

Joel nods before Tommy steps back, revealing a nervous-looking Y/N behind him. 

Joel can't even process it unmoving as he takes her in fully; she had grown. Of course she had, but it still made his heart ache. Before he can even think about the wetness occurring on his eyeline as he pulls her close, he grips her so tight, gripping the back of her head against his chest.

“Joel” Y/N whimpers, looking up at him with wet eyes. 

Joel wanted to say so many things—to apologize for the time he had lost together, to say sorry for losing her—but he couldn't. He pulled back slightly, encompassing her face with his hands. She leaned into him, nuzzling her cheek into his palm.

 “I know, baby, I know,” he promised. 

“I missed you, Joel, so much." Y/N said quietly, resting her head on Joel's chest. 

He wondered if she could feel it clench beneath his skin at her words. 

“I missed you more than you'll ever know, sweetie,” he spoke gently to her, “and I promise, I swear that you'll never be alone again, baby girl; I'll always be here for you." Joel spoke softly; 

He felt Y/N pull him impossibly closer at his words. 

“I love you, babygirl,” he whispered to her, “my baby girl.”.

[sourpatchsquids]

I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IN STARS AND TIME FOR A SECOND

Okay i just finished watching my girlfriend play ISAT and I felt the urge to dig into the music a little bit and lost a whole day to it. So i think i have to post about it. General spoilers below, read at your own risk.

Ok so Im gonna talk about the title theme and one other song here, which is a secret for later. (This part took like 2 hours to cobble together ill post the other one tomorrow)

In the first statement of the melody, we have a very bog standard i -> III -> IV -> Cadential 6/4 moti-- wait a second.

With where these lines intersect, the A in the middle voice actually dips below the bass voice for the statement of this chord, which means that the chord lands in a second inversion. You wouldn't normally put a i6/4 just after a cadential 6/4 unless you were actively trying to make the resolution feel weaker for some reason. As if you intentionally wanted the listener to not feel a strong sense of returning to the tonic.

When the strings come in we are treated to lush root position 7th and 9th chords to really feel magical and detached from ourselves. Just as well, that cadential 6/4 turns into an entire tonicization for A major! I adore the way the strings milked the motion down from D to C# to C, its a perfect suspension of the old tonic into the tonicized dominant :>. The themes of not feeling at home continue from here. We get the briefest glimpse of a happy A major chord in measure 8 before we lose any sight of an A that feels at home in the harmony. Measure 10's A in the melody is completely unsupported by the G major chord underneath, and the only A's to play in measure 11 are in the bass and the frenetic synth line bouncing between left and right panning, as the upper string descend to a G and the melody completely skips over the A in otherwise stepwise line. I wonder why home is so hard to latch onto in this piece? You're only ever able to grab onto it for a little bit at a time, when you even know what you're listening for.

As we approach the end of the phrase, we finally get a reasonable resolution to the tonic! We made it! However, it is nowhere near as harmonically pleasing as it should sound. Even with the faster pulse flipping back and forth between the ears and the actual stepwise enclosure of the tonic, when a tonic chord finally rings it quickly darts back, and what we get is empty. The 3rd of the tonic is played for the length of a eighth note and is quickly kicked out of our aural memory by the staccato E in the same instrument. And then all previous accompaniment leaves, save for the strings, as the piano enters to play one last statement of the B theme. The title theme makes very clear, we are allowed to approach home, but we are not allowed to linger. As quickly as a taste of it comes about, we realize how much it tastes like nothing.

Finally, we are rewarded with another cluster of A's and E's to leave us feeling empty and full of ennui. Truly we are meant to interpret this piece as Siffrin feeling lost and alone, no home to return to, nowhere to truly rest. That about wraps up my analysi-- hey wait a fucking second.

HEY WHAT THE FUCK.

If you listen at the very end, the strings jump back up to a D chord at the very end of the piece. D, the key we originally thought we were in. This single chord completely recontextualizes the entire piece and im not kidding in the slightest. If everything that happened while we thought A was the home key was actually just elaborating the dominant, then what does it actually mean? And more importantly, why is it so quiet? What is the purpose of the final D chord, the actual end chord of the piece, when it is so removed from what feels like the real ending of the piece. It's as though it's being intentionally kept at bay, as if we as listeners are actively pushing it away. It's like song itself doesn't want to really end.

Oh.

Studio Thumpy Puppy, if any of you ever read this, please know that I am in absolute awe of your ability to bake in the themes of the story into 42 seconds of music.

Not only does the title theme convey Siffrin's emotional pain from not being able to remember his home country, it manages to tell the listener the crux of the plot before a single line of exposition hits the screen. Siffrin doesn't want his party to leave him alone, he doesn't want their journey to end. He is so desperate to prevent his party from returning home without him that he breaks the structure of the piece, hides the final chord, from his own god damn opening theme. To stop the journey from ending.

If you've gotten this far, please support the artists behind this amazing game. If you haven't bought and played ISAT yet, go do it, and while you're here, also buy the soundtrack. Give these people money!! They're really good at what they do!

Next up: We're With You! Look forward to it, it's also amazing.

[delusinaldreamer19]

After receiving some interaction with this post I made about my feelings on the Undertaker, I wanted to clarify some of the things I said. And give, you know, actual points + evidence for why I don’t like him.

I’ll start by rephrasing that very point. It’s not that I don’t like him as a character, it’s that I think he’s evil. Maybe one of the most evil characters in the series.

@abybweisse left a comment on my post saying how Yana had specified that UT wasn’t the main villain of the story. I agree. But whether or not he’s the main villain of the story doesn’t take away from how evil his actions are.

I’m just going to go ahead and get the main point across, or my main reason for “hating him” ig.

He needed r!Ciel’s body in order to revive him. In order to retrieve his corpse from the sight of the sacrifice, he needed to have known where it was. In order to retrieve r!Ciel’s body before the place fully burned down after being set ablaze by Ciel & Seb, he would have needed to be there when it was happening.

Remember this panel?

There are numourus theory’s abt it, but I personally believe it’s UT.

Case and point, he must have known that the twins where being held captive by the cult. Whether or not he knew about all the ways they were being abused is kind of irrelevant—I feel that seeing them in the cage would be enough to know they were being harmed.

This biggest thing about him that I just can’t get past is why didn’t he intervene?

Your telling me that the same person who said “I can’t bare to lose another Phantomhive” just sat by and watched as one of these Phantomhives he supposedly cares so much about was murdered right before his eyes? It’s just doesn’t sit right with me.

I’m halfway to believing that he specifically waited for r!ciel (and prob o!ciel) to die so that he could do the whole reanimated corpse thing. But I’m not convinced that will be the main payoff of his actions within the series.

Speaking of his actions…yeah I’m not done.

What is the point of him essentially ruining o!Ciel’s life? Seriously. Framing him for the sapphire music hall incidents, kicking him out of his own home, stripping him of everything he has aside from Seb and his servants. Like- why? What does that do to further his goals (whatever they may be)?

I feel like he could have kept the whole reviving r!ciel thing more…idk personal? Privet? Like revealing to only o!ciel that he’d done that.

And why revive Doll if not to specifically torment o!ciel with a ghost of his past? Or at least to have some sort of negative effect on him?

There are so many questions about the UT, and while we don’t have the answers for them yet, the questions themselves paint him in a very bad light.

Yes, he had some sort of relationship to Claudia. Yes, he cried over the picture of Vincent. He may care about the Phantomhives in some manner, but I can’t help but feel that he doesn’t care about o!ciel. He may have had a few lines that suggest otherwise, but is actions have spoken very loudly through this series.

If I had to put it into a theory, I’d say I think his main reason for doing all of this is that he just want to pit a real human (o!ciel) against one of his reanimated creations (r!ciel) to see which will come out on top. His whole thing has always been laughter and entertainment.

But that’s just the impression I’ve gotten from thinking about the Undertaker and trying to piece his actions together. Do I think this is the real motivation that Yana has in store for him? No. But I just can’t seem to get past it.

[melonteee]

Oda is really good at foreshadowing because, while him having always had a clear complete backstory for each character from the get go isn't so sure, he clearly has character sheets for each of them that highlight the themes to be explored through them and what logically leads them to become who they are today (finding family in strangers for robin : why not bio fam? -> neglect. why realization at enies lobby and not jaya? -> betrayal in the past, needed proof of truthfulness. why this found fam and not another one? -> criminal lifestyle and previous experience of constant exploitation)

Then when he sets up a scene between characters, he takes all of those sheets into account and specifically choses what would make sense to be "revealed"/said between those characters (and in turn to the audience) at this specific point in time in the plot and in the overall story

Ex: Robin and Law's talk about the Will of D. It makes complete sense for both of them to have this talk in the story between each other specifically. Why didn't Robin ask any other D before Law ? The D clan aren't that plentiful when you think about it to the point Robin met 3 of them in her entire life. She didn't know how important it was back then so she never asked Saul. She probably asked Luffy but Luff-man doesn't care about those matters to the point he only found out he even had a dad at 17yo ("sorry Robin"). In short, Law is perfect for the job. And while his information fits at that point in the plot for Robin to uncover, we as an audience aren't ready for it yet.

Alternatively, when those character themes sometimes coincide between different characters, he simply ties them together to avoid redundancy

Bonney is a funny case to me because she was created in a week like most of the non-Strawhat supernovas but Oda made sure that her and these new characters wouldn't interfere or create plotholes with what he's already had in mind while leaving enough leeway to tie them more into the plot if needed. Bonney has the biggest leeway of any supernova because of her devil fruit powers. The fact it changes her age and we were only ever given an estimation means you could technically have her be born at nearly any point in time as well as be the daughter, mother or grandmother to anyone you wish.

Yet she fits so well as Kuma's daughter for a very simple reason: It makes the scene of Kuma sending Perona to Mihawk's island gain a layer of sense that was kinda missing and easily glossed over on a first read. Other than giving a demonstration of what Kuma's abilities could do pre-Sabaody and emphasize how much bigger of a threat he was compared to Moria even if they shared the same title, we never really got WHY Perona was spared like the strawhats were at Sabaody. There wasn't some grand vision to it, no tie to something he was part of like the Revolutionaries, ... So why ? Especially at that point in time where he was slowly but surely losing himself and any tie left to his humanity

But then Bonney comes in and their backstory is revealed. And that's when you begin to notice. You notice that Perona is a pink haired adult woman with a rather childish personality. Notice that her devil fruit can easily be underestimated and holds a lot of potential. Notice that Kuma mechanically asked her a really strange question which lacked an important key setup for it. Notice that the spot on Mihawk's island where he sent her to was safe from danger. And you realize

Perona might have reminded Kuma of someone very very close to him to the point his mind couldn't even fathom harming a look alike.

And chronologically at the time of this encounter, he's only seen Bonney as an adult once back at the Sorbet Kingdom where he ended up fainting at the sight alone

In a strange turn of events, things just fit and we're all happy for it

I have nothing to say you're just spot on about everything here. I am so desperate to see Oda's notes on when he makes arcs and characters for how he puts everything together. I can only hope he's kept all of them so, when One Piece ends, he can release a book with all his concept sketches and character/story plots to see exactly how he does it. I need to see how the gears turn u know

[mrs-monaghan]

"So off he goes to what he thinks is still Jimin's room (he cheated/helped Jimin to get this room btw, but that's an analysis for another day)"

Can that day also be today? 😳

😌😌

Anon is quoting this post.

In the soop season 2 episode 1.

Let us begin. Jhope asks to find out which members will be partiers for the duration of their stay there

Vminhopekook, the 4 members who love to hang out together end up being team party party, of course

Off the members go to their respective houses. So when Vminhopekook get to house C, Jimin who wants the best room for himself stealthily runs upstairs

Unfortunately for him, he gets busted ��🤣🤣

So Jimin has no choice but to come back down with his stuff and he gathers everyone around

But then instead of waiting for people to gather, he goes back upstairs to that room he wants.

Remember when I mentioned in the other post about Jikook and how they always keep an eye on the cameras?

I believe they turn them off quite often too 🤭 Anyway, Jimin really likes the room.

He really, really wants this room

Even editors get it. Jimin wanted this room before he even saw how nice it was. For this I believe he wanted this room because it's upstairs far from the rest and therefore isolated. Why he would want this kind of privacy, who knows? I can't think of a single reason why 😌😌

Moving on swiftly, he goes back downstairs so they can pick rooms and its decided JK doesn't need to play. He can just pick one of the downstairs rooms coz he has Bam. Which he does.

So Vhopemin are left to play rock, paper, scissors

Keep in mind Jimin sucks at this game. He is known as the member with the worse streak from losing many games, yes. But also RPS. Especially RPS. So they play the first time and they all end up doing rock

This is the part you want anon. Time stamp: 21:53

JK shows Jimin "rock"

I just now realised Jhope also saw 😂😂😂 so they go one more round and guess who does rock and wins?

That's right. JK who had stepped away immediately asks;

Keep in mind he's not in the room. All he heard was shouting. But the first person he asks about is Jimin. Why? 🤭🤭

Because he gave him the answer and wanted to know if it worked 😌 He needed to know which would be their other room So! happy Mimi runs upstairs with a happy "weeeeeeeeee"

Very happy to have the room he had his sights on from jump.

In conclusion: Jeon Jungkook loves Park Jimin. The end

I absolutely love, love, looooove when Jikook cheat to be with eo or for eo. It's just... it's everything guys. Just couple things, nbd 😌

[imakemywings]

Why Ship Eärendil/Elwing?

I think there are a lot of good reasons so let’s have a look (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

1. They have a lot in common. Both of them went through pretty traumatic events as children that involved being driven from their homes by an attacking force, losing family to that attacking force (Eärendil’s grandfather, Elwing’s parents and her brothers), and ending up refugees. They’re also at this point the only Peredhil in Middle-earth. There are a lot of difficult experiences they share, which allows them to understand each other on a level people without those experiences can’t as well.

2. They grew up together. They grew up in the Havens at Sirion and childhood-friends-to-lovers is a fire trope as far as I’m concerned. It’s very possible they played together as kids and they were there through each other’s awkward adolescent phases and talked each other through other crushes before they finally got together.

3. They obviously care about each other. We don’t see the details of a lot of marriages in The Silmarillion. Many of them are left wholly to the imagination as to how those characters acted around each other, but Eärendil and Elwing are explicitly devoted to each other.

“Eärendil found not Tuor nor Idril, nor came he ever on that journey to the shores of Valinor, defeated by shadows and enchantment. driven by repelling winds, until in longing for Elwing he turned homeward....” (Emphasis added)

Eärendil attempting his first voyage to Valinor is beset by all kinds of dangers, but it’s missing Elwing that finally makes him turn back and call this trip a bust.

“For Ulmo bore up Elwing out of the waves, and he gave her the likeness of a great white bird, and upon her breast there shone as a star the Silmaril, as she flew over the water to seek Eärendil her beloved.” (Emphasis added)

Beloved remains one of the peak terms of endearment, lbr.

“Then Eärendil, first of living Men, landed on the immortal shores...And Eärendil said to [his companions]: ‘Here none but myself shall set foot, lest you fall under the wrath of the Valar. But that peril I will take on myself alone, for the sake of the Two Kindreds.’

But Elwing answered: ‘Then would our paths be sundered for ever; but all thy perils I will take on myself also.’ And she leaped into the white foam and ran towards him...”

Elwing really said “if you’re damned then I will be too.” Here she accepts Eärendil’s fate, just as Eärendil later accepts hers and chooses the Elven path.

“But when all was spoken, Manwë gave judgement, and he said: ‘In this matter the power of doom is given to me. The peril that he ventured for love of the Two Kindreds shall not fall upon Eärendil, nor shall it fall upon Elwing his wife, who entered into peril for love of him...” (Emphasis added)

Even the Valar recognize how much these two care about each other!

“And at times, when Eärendil returning drew near again to Arda, she [Elwing] would fly to meet him, even as she had flown long ago, when she was rescued from the sea. Then the far-sighted among the Elves that dwelt in the Lonely Isle would see her like a white bird, shining, rose-stained in the sunset, as she soared in joy to greet the coming of Vingilot to haven.” (Emphasis added)

After their journey, even in spite of all their grief, they still find joy in one another. Their marriage is still strong even through everything they’ve seen.

4. They saved Middle-earth together. These two did what no one else had managed and sailed back to the Blessed Realm to get help for Middle-earth. Clearly, power couple moves.

”Yet Eärendil saw now no hope left in the lands of Middle-earth, and he turned again in despair and came not home, but sought back once more to Valinor with Elwing at his side.”

Friendly remind this journey is supposed to be impossible, but they are determined to do it because they know Middle-earth cannot survive without the intercession of the Valar.

“Few of the Teleri were willing to go forth to war, for they remembered the slaying at the Swanhaven, and the rape of their ships; but they hearkened to Elwing...and they sent mariners enough to sail the ships that bore the hose of Valinor east over the sea.”

But for Elwing, the Teleri would not have engaged in the war effort at all; she alone convinced them to help.

“But Eärendil came, shining with white flame, and about Vingilot were gathered all the great birds of heaven and Thorondor was their captain, and there was battle in the air all day and through a dark night of doubt. But before the rising of the sun Eärendil slew Ancalagon the Black, the mightiest of the dragon-host, and cast him down from the sky...”

From start to finish Eärendil and Elwing have been committed to saving Middle-earth from Melkor’s menace and boy do they see it through.

5. Eärendil chooses immortality to stay with Elwing. In a mirror of Beren and Lúthien’s story, Eärendil surrenders a mortal fate to stay joined with Elwing.

“Then Eärendil said to Elwing: ‘Choose thou, for now I am weary of the world.’ And Elwing chose to be judged among the Firstborn Children of Ilúvatar, because of Lúthien; and for her sake Eärendil chose alike...”

Eärendil both trusts Elwing to make this choice for both of them and makes the same choice as her even though it isn’t his first preference.

6. Eärendil named his boat, which becomes the immortal vessel in which he sails through the skies, after Elwing. Can we say romance?

7. Elwing gives Eärendil the Silmaril. In general, most people who get their hands on a Silmaril are not keen to give it up. Yet Elwing passes the Silmaril onto Eärendil without a fuss and never again takes possession of it.

8. Their super rad mythological couple energy. Half-Elven couple who braved the sea to voyage to a realm it was supposed to be impossible for them to find to bring back divine help for their home? Last queen of the forest kingdom who in her moment of greatest despair is lifted up by divine forces and transformed? Hero of the last bastion of the Elves in Middle-earth who uses his mariner skills to make an impossible voyage, bearing back a jewel thought lost forever? Former Elven queen who now abides in a white tower on the sea and talks to birds and transforms into a bird herself to fly up to greet the return of her husband? Immortal captain of a flying ship that slew a dragon and now keeps watch over the stars? They are killing it y’all.

Feel free to add on o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

All quotes in this post are from the “Of the Voyage of Eärendil and the War of Wrath” chapter of The Silmarillion!

Convinced? Not convinced? Try these fanfic recs under the cut:

At the Water’s Edge by crackinthecup - G - 3,349 - Eärrámë is nearly ready to sail. Tuor and Idril’s days at the Havens of Sirion are drawing to an end. It is a time of loss and hope for all, and Elwing is no exception.

Elwing, Survivor by crownlessliestheking - T - Elwing and Earendil after arriving in Valinor.

From the Ones Who Came Before by Krita - T - 5,247 - Elwing was young when Menegroth fell. Melian's line is complicated, but far more so is growing into yourself.

A Glimpse of the Harbor by me - G - 1,925 - Elwing watched for the return of Earendil's ship.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by mochimilku - T - 1,185 - Eärendil, Elwing, and the ocean.

Let Us Taunt Old Care with a Merry Air / And Sing in the Face of Ill by me - G - 643 - When Elwing lands in the Havens, she befriends a young princeling from Gondolin.

The One With All the Birds by clothono - G - 46,543 - Elwing and Nerdanel in Valinor in the Fourth Age; a story about children coming home.

So Summer Comes by potatoesanddreams - G - 2,654 - Ada said he would be home by autumn equinox. It is winter solstice now.

Untitled by simaethae - G - E-squared family fluff.

[blue-mint-winter]

Reading Fire and Blood - Jaehaerys and Alysanne's reign

I liked the early chapters and how Jaehaerys and Alysanne took over. The politicking and scheming against Rogar and Rhaena factions was interesting. All in all, both Rogar and Rhaena had fascinating stories as the losers of the power struggle that were allowed to live... but they ended up living without joy, losing those they loved and dying in obscurity.

I think it was maester Anselm who was behind the poisoning of Rhaena's companions. Androw was just a tool, he was too stupid to think of this scheme on his own. It would make sense why he'd kill Anselm when he was uncovered, he wanted the real mastermind to die as well, but then he took the credit for the whole plan.

Elissa Farman's story about stealing dragon eggs to get money so she could build a ship and go exploring the ocean to the west (eventually her ship was sighted in Asshai) was very interesting. Also, Jaehaerys basically confirms that non-Targaryens can become dragonriders, that's why he was so concerned with the eggs being in other hands. I think this opens a lot of possibilities for the main books, like Tyrion or others becoming dragonriders. Also, maybe Elissa's journey is a clue about how Daenerys will come to Westeros. Maybe she'll go east and arrive on Iron Islands, that's why they were so important in the books. Maybe Euron found a way to sail the western seas.

Aerea's story was also interesting. It's pretty clear that she claimed Balerion because she wanted to be the queen (and she was Maegor's heir after all). The one with the biggest dragon rules them all. Things didn't go to plan and she was gone for a whole year, then she came back infected with worms and had a very disturbing death. I'm most interested in what happened in the months before she got infected. I think maybe she wasn't kidnapped by Balerion, like many speculate. Maybe she deliberately went far east, because she wanted to find Elissa Farman? Elissa told her about her idea to go around the world, it's possible Aerea went to meet her halfway, because she had to fly over land. If they succeeded, maybe then they went to Old Valyria together? It's really unknown, but in a year there was enough time for many things to happen before Aerea got infected, came back and died.

Rhaena all in all has a very compelling story, but she isn't very likeable. She's very selfish and only wants power to fulfill her own desires. She hurts everyone she's close to, because she doesn't care about their wishes (prime examples: her mother, Elissa Farman, Androw Farman, Aerea). She could have taken over as queen, but she was unwilling to compromise her own love life and marry a suitable man with an army, instead choosing a useless lump so she could carry on her lesbian affairs. And that ended up in her own downfall because she treated her tool of a husband like shit until he snapped. Possibly, she and Maegor could have been a real power couple if Visenya's first proposal came through. Maegor was great at gaining support from men, while Rhaena did the same with women. And Maegor wasn't against his wife having a female lover, which was proved by Alys Harroway and Tyanna. So in another world, it could have worked out between Maegor and Rhaena.

Shivers sounds like a magical disease. It would explain why Daenerys died despite no one else from her family dying (Targaryens are immune to normal diseases). It was interesting that Boremund and Jocelyn also got sick, but survived. Later on Maegelle died from greyscale, which is a magical disease. I wonder if Jocelyn only having one child was a result of complication from Shivers. Maybe the disease affected her fertility.

Daella's story was really disturbing to me. She was afraid of everything, but for some unknown reason her father wanted to marry her off ASAP? So she chose the oldest possible suitor, Rodrik Arryn, because he reminded her of her father (what in daddy issues...). I assume because Eyrie had no kittens, horses, bees and other things she was afraid of. Then Alysanne got letters written by Rodrik's daughter how Daella is happy and everything is great, but then later finally gets a letter written by Daella herself that she's pregnant and very afraid so Alysanne went and stayed with her until birth of Aemma and Daella's death. Idk, all of this seemed fishy. Why did Rodrik, who already had children, force Daella to get pregnant right away, despite her being young and small, so she was sure to have a difficult birth? Why was Rodrik trying to hide the pregnancy from Alysanne?

I have a bit of pet theory, Daella's description is similar to Helaena, so it's possible Daella was a dragon dreamer. My theory is that the things she was afraid of were connected to her siblings deaths. Bees - Saera's ruin and connection to Braxton Beesbury known as Stinger. Horses - Viserra broke her neck falling from a horse. Kittens - Daenerys had a kitten, which could have carried the disease from a rat to her. Dragons - that one's the toughest to figure out, none of the siblings are killed by a dragon, but Daella's granddaughter Rhaenyra is.

What else... how come Gaemon and Valerion died in cradle, but Gael lived? Maybe it's maester conspiracy getting rid of new male heirs and potential husbands for Alysanne's daughters?

For some reason, Alyssa, Saera and Viserra are described in a way to make them all completely unlikeable - cruel, sly, vain, conniving, manipulative, drunk, promiscuous, stupid. I think this is a sign of the maester bias again. Daella is written as just a stupid and frightened child, similarly with Gael, who was described as small, frail and simple-minded. The only one of the sisters that gets a good rep is Maegelle who became a septa. She's credited with advising Jaehaerys to make up with Alysanne and later nurses patients with greyscale and dies of that disease. She's basically a saint. But the maester had nothing positive to say about any of the other sisters and that was just clearly weird, because they were loved by family.

I liked the tidbit how the first road Jaehaerys built was the one going straight to the Wall. He probably was aware of the prophecy and that's why he insisted on a male heir (Prince that was promised).

[sunny-mercya]

Hey, Brother do you still believe in one another?

03. Of Jealousy and Blessings

Heiji Hattori x Male Reader | Plantonic! Shinichi Kudo x Brother Reader

Fandom -> Detective Conan/Case Closed

Masterlist | Previous / Next |

My jealousy, jealousy started following me

I'm losing it, all I get's jealousy, jealousy 

Jealousy is such an ugly and petty emotion. It can make humans do the most regrettable things and brings the worst out of them. Jealousy is a unpleasant feeling no one wants to feel, and yet it is almost one of the most humane, because it makes you self-reflect in a way—unknown for others, but for you to understand.

Sachiko had no clue how exactly you had found out, about Shinichis secret calling and she didn't want to know either—but maybe she should have told you right away, instead of promising Ran not to. 

Seeing you walking back and forth in your room, boiling with minimal anger and ranting in jealousy was a sight Sachiko rarely liked to witness. After all you're a gentle person, but even you had limits and they were getting tested till they reached their point of bursting.

«Hey, [Name], maybe Shinichi has a explanatory reason for it, so how about you take some deep breaths and relax?» Sachiko hoped at least so, because if he don't......if he don't......Sachiko wasn't even so sure what then though.

You only heard half of what Sachiko has said to you. Too busy with thinking? Honestly you don't even know how thinking works at all, one of the many unsolved mysteries in the universe. How could someone tell that they are having thoughts? The same applies to emotions. How can you tell?

You stopped mid tracks, glancing at the photo of Shinichi, which stood on your nightstand, for mere seconds. How could he? How dare he? How dare he!

«HOW DARE HE?! WHO THE FUCK DOES SHINICHI THINK HE IS?!» 

Sachiko flinched at your outburst, she never heard you raise your voice with such anger in it. Not expecting [Name] to take the photo and throw it, with such a force, onto the ground. The Glass shattering into pieces and scattering around the room. When you turned to Sachiko and pointing a finger at her, she knew what was about to come.

«And you! You knew and didn't told me? Why huh?» 

Guilt crawled through Sachikos heart, bringing it to a painfully clench. You were right, Sachiko was your friend after all, she should've have told you, but she also was a friend of Ran—doesn't matter how she thought about it, someone would always be upset either way.

She saw your tear filled eyes and how you tried to hold them back as best as you could. Your knees had buckled, sinking onto the ground—you gripped the photo together with the shards, so tightly till you saw blood dripping down. Sachiko moved down from your bed, kneeling besides you and took you into her arms.  

You couldn't hold tears back anymore, crying and sobbing in a ugly mess, which raked through your body. Leaning more into Sachikos hold, your grip on the photo tightens even more, crumbling it. 

Why? Why was Shinichi doing this? Why does he ignore you but not Ran? Just because Ran was the girl he got a crush on, doesn't mean she was special enough and have the privileges of getting a call from Shinichi in the first place. 

So Ran was important to him, but not you—his own brother? What kind of logic was that even? 

There was a silence between you two, as Sachiko bandaged up your hand. None of the two had utter a word, after you had calmed down enough to be in a more rational headspace.

«You know what I will do Sachi? I will block his number. So that if he decides to call me at all, he can't. Because I'm gonna ignore him, just like he does with me.» You told her, having made a finally decision. 

Not only would you block his number, but you would throw everything which reminded you of Shinichi—all the memories you two had gathered and had a place in your room, into the basement. Out of sight, out of mind. 

It was for the best, you were sure. For your own well-being and mental health. 

You knew that Ran wasn't at fault here, had no right to give her all the blame,  but you couldn't help yourself with that jealousy towards her. There wasn't anger, just jealousy. And you didn't know how it would go from now on or how you could talk with Ran, without that lingering petty emotion inside of you.

Heiji leaned against a Bookshelf, hands buried deep into his pockets, glancing at his Rival. So Heiji had lost against Kudo, even when he was so sure, he was the far better Detective. But being a great Detective means also to admit defeat, something you had told him once.

«I was sure I would win, but I admit my defeat.» Heiji gave a nod towards Kudo, shrugging his shoulders. Perhaps indeed, Kudo was worthy of being called his rival of the East. And maybe Kudo was a Great Detective as well, but only maybe.

«Hattori, there's no win or lose, neither good or bad in what we do....because there's always only one truth.» Shinichis voice was hoarse as he spoke, he could feel the heat—which was burning his whole body, no boiling it, from the inside out. Shinichi knew he hadn't much time left, before he either shrunk back or die for real now. 

A pained gaps escaped from his mouth. Gripping at his chest, where his heart was—beating way too fast. Shinichi ignored Heijis worries, shaking off the helping hand, who steady him, as he begun to stumble forward. Not enough time and Shinichi still had to tell Hattori something.

Shinichi coughed, steadying himself again and looking at Hattori. Taking a few breaths. God, he felt as he couldn't form any words nor speak anymore. He bite his tongue for a moment, the pain to distract his fuzzy like mind to fall into a state of unconscious.

«You know Hattori, I was skeptical at first, when my brother told me about you. But now I think you're more than enough for [Name], so, be his Knight in shininess amour and protect him at all costs. I'll give you my blessing,» 

Shinichi was wrong about his judgmental view about  Hattori (and you). Hattori was the right person for you, even though he still believes that there could be someone better out there. Shinichi just didn't wanted to admit it to himself; how you had grown and could choose the love of your life on your own.

Hattori was enough, more than enough, for you and Shinichi had to accept that one way or another. 

Heiji was confused. Didn't understand what Kudo had told him and what [Name] had to do with it. He was confused but before he could ask for any elaboration, Shinichi had bolted out of the room—looking as he was about to vomit. 

Heiji rushed after him, seconds later. Too late, stopping at the staircase and Shinichi was just kind of gone? 

Than it dawned on Heiji what Shinichi just had told him.

It was around 8PM when you had open the door for Heiji, who looked a bit soaked from the starting rain. You had offered him a towel, after he slipped off his shoes and into the slippers. 

While Heiji dried himself off, you gave him a sideways hug. Taking his hand and pulling him towards the kitchen, where the smell of Curry was floating around the air. While Heiji took a seat at the table, you walked to the stove and stirred the curry one more time, before filling two plates with it and adding some rice. Setting the plates down on the table, you took a seat yourself.

During the meal you both had conversed about various topics. When you had asked Heiji if he had solved a case today, he told you with delight about it.

«Huh, so Shin-chan was there too?» you asked him at one point. So the fucker couldn't give you a call or anything like that of a sign but showing up at a crime scene and solving the case—that could he do? Asshole.

Heiji snapped his fingers at you, getting your attention and focus, that damned questions he has, burned on his tongue.

«Oi, why didn't you told me sooner that your Kudos brother?»

«Eh? Didn't I told you at the beginning of our relationship? No?, oh, now you know» 

«Damn it [Nickname], that's a bit embarrassing for me, ya know? Now Kudo thinks I'm sort of a fool,» Heiji sighed, finding it unbelievable sometimes how you could be so forgetful about such trivial and mundane information. 

The only response he got, was a heartily chuckle of yours, which makes him grin in return.

I get the feeling that I'm giving up,

on something I love

We shouldn't have to try so hard

[constant-merlin-torture]

*Sigh* another issue with Merlin

I swear only two things keep me truly obsessed with this show: Merthur, and the potential the show had.

So today I was watching The Poisoned Chalice, which I actually don't rewatch that much because its SO good. Like good to the point where I understand everything, the characters make sense, and Arthur and Merlin are progressing naturally. To the point where if it was the entire show, I would be over it, instead just hissing in my head about Merthur rather than being literally obsessed.

Anyway, I realized how GOOD season 1 is. Arthur and Merlin start off awful, and become really close. Their progression is natural, and if it had just been that the entire time, I honestly don't think I would ship them as much. It would just be, b r o m a n c e. Like how they show runners intended (tbh I think around season 3, they realized how gay it was and how gay it had to be and said STEP ON THE GAS).

BUT, it just shows how much potential the show failed to live up to in seasons 2-5. Merlin and Arthur backtrack for some reason, and now Arthur is a real shithead all the time and Merlin is extremely secretive. All of this is understandable if put in a context of "realistic character growth", which I would actually really enjoy IF it felt purposeful. But it didn't.

Rather, it feels as though the show runners and writers weren't able to handle the complexity of a bond like the one between Arthur and Merlin, which is a shame because there was so much untapped potential.

And, its REALLY disappointing because Merlin and Arthur are perfectly portrayed and progressed in season 1. Then, season 2 fails to live up to that.

Then! season 3 gets really homo and sets up the potential for a great place for representation and a way to have the show finally get a grip on the power of their own story. Then, season 4 just keeps dragging us on, and season 5 drags us on further, while still being really homo. And then the cliff drop of a finale---my favorite episode and least favorite at the same time lol.

It goes to show that while creators and show-runners and show-writers can come up with fantastic concepts, they should really start looking to the fandoms and the people watching their shows for direction and places the show is going naturally. As a writer, it's easy to lose sight of things you want to write vs where the story needs to go.

So all in all, Merlin is still my favorite show and probably always will be---unless Bradley and Colin come back together for another show or smth (seriously though, its confusing to me why people in film/tv aren't taking advantage of the crazy amount of on-screen chemistry Colin and Bradley have, not to mention the hordes of viewers they could easily rake in if they cast them together. smh).

However, there are about 1,000,000,000 things I would change about it so that it could actually get a grip on its own story and live up to its own potential.

In conclusion, love Merlin, love Merthur, just wish that fan-advice and fan-commentary was taken more seriously. So so many shows would be loads better if they just took a moment and listened to the general fan consensus around the plot/characters.

sigh

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy Re-Watch: Season 1 character analysis

Buffy:

The girl smashing the cliché of blondes dying in horror. She's our hero. A 16 year old girl who wants to be normal but has a duty to save the world. At the beginning she is reluctant to be the slayer, and why wouldn't she be? She lost her first watcher, burned down her school's gym, got kicked out of said school, lost friends, parents divorced and had to move towns because so few schools would take her. In one year since she got called to be a slayer her life has drastically changed and not really for the better. So it's understandable that she wouldn't want to return to that. But as soon as she saw Willow, a new potential friend in trouble, she goes into slayer mode. As soon as she accepts her duty, she does it to the best of her abilities. But she also wants normality in her life. If her life was just school and slaying it would probably make her miserable. Cheerleading, dating, school dances are a part of her ideal normal life as a teenager, it's something she needs to stop herself from feeling more like an outcast than she already is. The best episode to illustrate that is 'Out of Sight, Out of Mind' because back in LA she was in Cordelia's position, but in Sunnydale she is seeing it from the other side. She is also disconnected from her friends and new life, because none of this is what she wanted. She still holds on tot he hope that she can be normal.

However, that is sort of destroyed in 'Prophecy Girl'. Overhearing that she is going to die breaks her. She laughs at the absurdity of it and then we see how she truly feels. She is pissed off. At 16 she is told she will die because someone hundreds of years ago foresaw it, so now it must happen. She doesn't want to, of course she doesn't. She wants to live and be normal, but apparently that's over for her now. Despite all of her anger and pain she still goes to face The Master. After talking to Willow, seeing her fear and devastation of losing people she knew, Buffy had to go. she didn't see another choice. Thought things are never that simple. What really stings for Buffy is that is she had stayed away, if she never confronted the Master, she wouldn't have died. the shock and realisation only comes to her moments before she dies, and The Master being the one to tell her makes it all the worse. It is fortunate that Angel ad Xander came to find her when they did, to bring her back and help her kick ass.

Buffy is a loyal, caring, compassionate person. She is a good slayer, especially after only finding out a year before and past tragedies in her life. She will do anything to protect her friends and anyone who needs help. She doesn't get everything right and makes mistakes, but her willingness to try, the support of her friends, and Giles' guidance helps her and makes up for areas where she is lacking. Her relationship with her mum is a positive one, which is something I personally like to see. She has her fears like everyone else, which males her more 3 dimensional, because she isn't some infallible superhero. Her real life problems and fears keeps her grounded and believable, because a character without those is fake and unrelatable to the audience.

As with my post about Angel, I still need to see a real reason as to why she likes him. If you're going to make a romance happen ten give me reasons to want them together besides them both being attractive. That's all I'm saying.

[abbyheilman]

It wasn't like she didn't want to forgive him and move past him but she just couldn't promise that it would be as easy as her wanting to let it go. And she didn't want to be responsible for a fight to ensue when it dawned on the both of them that his involvement with the club was something she couldn't get over. It wasn't to say that it was the case but right now, it was still something that made her antsy and more worried than she wanted to admit. After all, it had been the catalyst for the reason why he'd broken up with her. There was no telling whether he was fooling himself into believing that he wouldn't one day wake up and realize that there wasn't a world in which he would feel comfortable having her and the club in his life at the same time, and sadly, she knew that it was a battle that she would lose. The blonde peered down at her beer and then back at him, knowing for certain that despite the potential heartbreak, she needed to at least try to see if they could be in each others lives in some capacity because the taste of having him back was far better than being without him. Standing from the table, she moved to stand beside him so she could have a look at the meat that he was cooking. Her eyes rolled at his comment about the open drink, pointing towards his drink. "You didn't think twice about drinking that one and even if it wasn't open, I could have pierced a hole in the top." The blonde said with a laugh even if she didn't have a murderous bone in her body. That wasn't something she would ever do, especially not to someone that she cared about. Not that she was actually worried that he believed she would do something like that. Her gaze lifted from the beer towards him and then she nodded her head, knowing that he worried even if he hadn't said those words. It wasn't like he'd hit someone but she hadn't missed the look he'd given her date and some of the comment made about him not giving her a ride back. "I know you do." It wasn't like she'd ever asked someone to walk her to her car but more that she hadn't felt a reason not to and perhaps that was naive of her to believe that she was safe coming and going from both places that she worked. "There's a lot of people around." The blonde mentioned and then shrugged, unsure of how to make it sound any better. But it almost felt worse of her to ask someone to walk her to her car because she didn't want to burden them with that. "I'll be more careful." It was all that she could really promise. Maybe pay more attention to her surroundings and consider even carrying something that could be used for protection in her purse. The blonde returned to the picnic table and sat down before she nodded her head. "I don't want it to be a competition but you kind of made it seem like it was. That you had to have one or the other." And he hadn't picked the person who he'd known for all his life but the new group he'd decided to join. She swallowed hard and finished off her beer before putting it to the side. "I don't blame you for your choices but it just makes it harder to believe that there won't be another circumstance where that decision will be needed again." Maybe she wouldn't be okay with his involvement with the club and she would have to leave him behind knowing that he wouldn't run after her. "Well, I'm happy that you found what you felt you were missing." The family or the fact that he now had a purpose or stood for something. Perhaps those were things that he needed when they were together and she hadn't realized it. As for the last part, Abby needed to figure out if she was okay with being just a piece of his life when he'd felt like her entire world. Thankfully the food came and she managed to smile at the sight of everything that was cooked to perfection. "It smells great." She added as she took a plate and handing him one. "No, I don't think I need anything else. I've been fed, I've got drinks, some activities. Everything is perfect."

Nash nodded upon taking his advisement into consideration. He wasn't going to nudge her into doing anything, just throwing a simple suggestion. And he knew better from their last conversation about this subject, he wasn't going to offer a handout with cash. Though, he had still kept what she had given back. It was still in a safe at his place in case she needed something. Nash wasn't going to bring that up but it was hers, he had given that to her only so there was no use in spending it for something he wanted or needed. Nash liked his toys which included mostly motorcycles and dirt bikes - but he had plenty of those. Even the amount now, since he had sold two of his motorcycles from the beginning to get that cash. Nash knew it was a bold move and she probably questioned even now his motives behind it. But as soon as he heard of her money struggles, he jumped into provide. No matter how many years had passed the male still held that within his roots. It was unchanged and never would falter in that aspect. "I get it. I was just curious." Trust is fragile, don’t break it. Once broken it will never come back in its original shape. Nash could talk until he was blue in the face with promises that it would never happen again or related reassurance. But that would not solve anything. He wanted her in his life, that continued to be told by effort and words. Though at the end of the day, she had to make that decision in the end. Or at least have the right to make a decision that if it should be too much - that sort of brutal honesty could be conveyed. It would break Nash all over again, no doubt but he would only have himself to blame. After what he had done, pushing her away -second chances were never guaranteed. That was the only thing that was relevant and constant. He just had to keep hoping and taking action to show that his priorities were solely on having a world where they were mixed in together. "Remind me to never take a drink from you that's already opened then." Continuing to tease. His mind immediately going to it being poisoned to some extreme level. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I worry you know." The man couldn't help it. "You have people to walk to you to your car right in case some idiot is giving you more trouble then usual?" Nash found himself asking. The man knew she could handle herself, she had been independent for so long - there was no doubt there, but it was always the women in his life that made him extra protective, wanting to shun them from everything bad. Not because Nash doubted their abilities, honestly they were stronger - just the thought of possibly birthing a kid would bring him to his knees. His reasoning was he grew up in an all women household, so that's where his heart truly lied. That need to defend was shaped from his sister and Mother. "It's not a competition." He began to muse from her question. Nash understood the feeling of comparison though that she must have felt. His choices made it look like the MC was his first choice over her. Which made his stomach twist. "I feel like I have purpose. I don't regret joining, they're all family. I'm sorry if you feel like I wasn't happy with you or that they make me happier then you did. I can say this for certain, you have always been that missing piece for me whether you choose to believe it or not. I don't feel so lost these days." Even if her presence was only going to be temporary. Nash offered her a honest smile before finishing up the cooking and beginning to grab the plates and buns, making sure everything was presented. Then putting the fries he had also cooked on another plate so she could grab the amount that she had wanted. "Dig in. Let me know if you need anything else since this date is going to be catered to you." His honest smile had turn more warm now.

[plus-size-reader]

Should Be

Damon Salvatore x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2897 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Damon’s human partner gets jealous of Katherine when she gets out of the tomb.

—————————————————————————————————

Katherine coming back from the tombs wasn’t ideal for anyone.

There was a reason she’d been locked away for as long as she had and really, you didn’t get why they were letting her out in the first place.

The world was going to keep turning whether or not they let her be a part of it. At least, that was what Damon had assured you when the news broke that she had resurfaced.

You didn’t want to care.

In reality, her coming back to Mystic Falls wasn’t any of your business. You hadn’t ever had anything to do with her, and you wouldn’t, even if she came back.

Still, it would be a lie to say that you weren’t really comfortable with it.

The two of them, Katherine and Damon, they had quite a bit of history and you just couldn’t fit the feeling in the pit of your stomach that it was going to be bad news for you. It just didn’t seem right.

Maybe you were jealous, or insecure, or something like that but it didn’t really matter. All you knew was that you weren’t itching for her to come back into any of your lives.

Damon was different, for the better, than when the two of you met but Katherine had quite the hold on him for a really long time and you were worried how her poking around in your lives would affect him.

It couldn’t be good, even if she was magically on her best behavior, somehow.

You just didn’t see that happening.

You weren’t jealous, of course, you had to keep reminding yourself of that. You and Damon had been together for several years, and you knew that he loved you. It was the sort of connection that you’d never had with another person, having been enthralled with him ever since he saved your life.

As it would turn out, that was quite the bonding exercise.

However, no experience you and Damon had ever shared could compare to all the time he and Katherine had been together.

They had been in love, and whether it was real for her or not, Damon had never really even gotten over her betrayal. He cared about her deeply, and you couldn’t imagine how seeing her again would make him feel.

Until recently, you thought that you trusted Damon more than anything.

You trusted him with your life for God's sake and you were sure that nothing would ever change that, but evidently, Katherine had decided to challenge that notion.

Ever since she’d come back into all your lives, she had made a choice to just inject herself into every situation you were in. Even now, from where you were in the bathroom brushing your teeth, you could hear her talking to him in the adjacent bedroom.

It was nothing more than pathetic small talk about their past together but it was more than enough to make your blood boil.

You knew more than enough about the bond they had shared and the time they spent together, you didn’t need to hear it from her on top of everything else that was on your plate.

She might not have been too much of a real threat to you, because you knew that no matter what she did, there was no undoing what she’d done to him but that didn’t make you like her any better.

Frankly, even knowing that, you’d had enough of Lady Katherine.

Her presence here, where you lived, was like a slap in the face.

Decades had passed since they were even in the same room and even then, she had done nothing more than treat him like dirt.

It seemed like common sense that she was just going to do it again, but he was letting her. Damon was barely even putting up a fight and really, you were finding it hard to believe.

After everything that she had put him through, why would he even entertain her presence in this place.

He didn’t owe her anything, not anymore.

You thought that what you and Damon had was more important to him than anything else, but if her coming back into his life was enough to make him question that, it said a lot.

So, even though you wanted to go tell her to get out, you kept it to yourself.

Not well, but you kept it to yourself.

You may have been brushing your teeth more aggressively than you ever had in your entire life, but you hadn’t said anything yet.

For you, that was a win.

Deep down, you weren’t really worried about losing him to her. If Katherine had actually bothered to get to know him all those years ago, she would know that Damon was one of the most devoted and loving men in the world.

He was now, and you were sure that he had been before all this.

You just had to break down those walls of his first.

It took some time but it was well worth it once you earned his trust. You knew that he would do anything for you, and anyone else he loved, she just didn’t actually care.

Not that it mattered to her what kind of bond you two had.

As far as she was concerned, you were just some temporary fling that Damon would get bored of and feed off of at some point, like he did most of the others. He had never actually kept a girlfriend around for very long.

He wasn’t the kind, and in any case, she was sure that you couldn’t hold a candle to her.

She had a hold on him that had lasted, at least somewhat, for all the time that she’d been locked away and in a matter of days, she was sure she could have the raven-haired male eating out of the palm of her hand.

It was that easy.

All she had to do was prove it, and at this rate, it wasn’t going to take long at all.

Here she was, sitting new to him on your fancy little bedspread with him, practically hanging on her every word while you were tucked away. Before long, she wouldn’t have to put up with you anymore at all.

He was bound to come to his senses at some point, and she had nothing but time.

She could wait it out.

Tonight though, she couldn’t have gotten away from you that easily.

You could only hide away in the bathroom for so long and once that time had run out, you entered the bathroom with a casual sigh leaving Katherine’s lips at the sight of you.

Just when she was starting to bring up all those good memories they shared, here you came to ruin it all.

“Could you please move over?” you asked, only looking at her as much as you absolutely had to, catching the tail end of an eye roll that you would have been okay with missing entirely.

All she did was scoff, clearly inconvenienced.

“Why? Am I hurting you here?” she asked, not bothering to cover up the hatefulness in her tone, not that you or Damon was surprised. Speaking of, the dark haired male was still just sitting there, waiting for someone to lunge at the other.

He wasn’t a huge fan of her being here either, but he was trying to be civil.

There was a chance they would need her and burning that bridge too early could cause problems along the way, or at least that was what Stefan told him.

He’d lived without her for a long time and he’d be fine if she fell off the face of the earth tomorrow. Though, if she kept testing you, she may not make it until tomorrow.

She may have had the upper hand over you as far as vampire strength was concerned but you all knew that if she tried to do anything to you, he would turn her head so far around that she’d be the one really out of place.

He wasn’t going to let her hurt you, not if it really came down to it.

“That’s where I sleep,” you explained, gesturing to where she was, sprawled out on your side of the bed, without a care in the world. It wasn’t the kind of thing that you even thought you had to explain but she was pushing you.

She wanted to start a fight.

To Katherine, this was all a game and she had nothing to lose.

There were no rules and she was betting on the fact that she could break you with very little effort.

However, there was one thing she was forgetting. You and Damon shared something she could never hope to have with him, something she had given up a long time ago.

Love

You respected Damon and you cared about him.

The two of you were together through the good times and the bad, not just when you needed something from him or you were bored. In that way, she couldn’t hope to touch what you shared.

Still, there was one thing that worried you.

Katherine was gorgeous.

Her body was incredible, and she had no problem showing it off which she had made very clear tonight. Where you would have wanted to hide away and never go outside again, she just strolled around in nearly nothing, without a care in the world.

Emotionally, you and Damon couldn’t have been closer but physically, you couldn’t help but feel like she would beat you had there been some kind of competition.

Even you would have chosen her over you in that regard.

When she stood from the bed, dramatically throwing her hair over her shoulder to give Damon one final wink before leaving, you got a good look at her long legs, even further making you rethink yourself.

Why was Damon with you when he could have had her all this time? Sure, he didn’t know she was down there until today but now that he knew, there was nothing keeping him from picking her.

After she’d left, you plopped down on your side of the bed, immediately turning away from Damon and cuddling into your pillow.

You knew it wasn’t his fault you were having these thoughts about yourself, but you didn’t want to be around him right now.

You didn’t want him to be reminded of what he could have had.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked, after a few seconds of sitting in the dark, staring at the back of your head without a kiss on his lips. You always kissed him before bed, but tonight, you didn’t even seem to care if he was breathing.

It was unlike you and it worried him, not that he would ever admit it.

You didn’t answer right away, letting his words simmer in the air for a few moments as you thought about what you wanted to say. There weren’t really words that would make any sense to him.

From where he was sitting, you would seem jealous and out of your mind but this wasn’t about Katherine anymore.

For you, this was about how he’d settled with the wrong woman and you couldn’t help but feel like he was lying to you about his feelings.

How could he be attracted to you when you looked like you did?

You had asked him before, on a bad day when you woke up feeling huge and ugly, but this was different. Katherine prancing around here had shown you everything that you could have looked like.

What you should have looked like.

“It’s nothing, let’s just go to bed” you tried, far too physically and mentally exhausted to have this conversation.

For now, you just wanted to get some sleep, you could deal with Katherine and all her business tomorrow.

As for your body, that was just going to have to be tomorrow's problem as well. Physical exhaustion always won out over mental anguish, no matter how much you tried to force your own hand in that regard.

All you could hope was that you felt better in the morning, and maybe then, you could explain all this weird stuff to Damon.

~

You woke up to a cold bed, which was pretty much par for the course when it came to sleeping next to a vampire but when you rolled around and found he was gone, that was when you got a little worried.

That was new.

Damon never got out of bed before you, if he even got out of bed when you did, and you couldn’t help but be concerned about what he could have been doing.

Knowing Damon, it could have literally been anything.

Though, the last thing you expected to find when you turned the corner was the man you loved, trying and failing to make what smelled like chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs.

“Good morning my love, would you care to explain why I went to bed without a goodnight kiss?” he wondered, focusing more on the glass of bourbon in his hands than the breakfast that was surely burning on the stove.

He always tried his best where the more domestic stuff was concerned but it just wasn’t his strong suit. He just wasn’t as much of a wiz in the kitchen as he liked to pretend that he was in moments like this.

“After I put out the grease fire you’re about to start” you sighed, moving the pan from the fire and setting it in the sink.

Damon wasn’t going to let you get off easy after last night, but the most you could do was buy yourself some time before you made an absolute fool out of yourself.

He wasn’t about to just let this go.

He never did.

“I’m serious, you got all squirrely after Katherine left” Damon prodded, his hands falling on your hips, which he used as leverage to turn you toward him, trapped between his body and the sink.

You sighed, desperately hoping that you wouldn’t have to have this conversation but knowing that you would.

It was embarrassing.

Part of you, the mature part, knew that this wasn’t that big of a deal but the other part couldn’t help but hate her. She wasn’t just some beautiful girl, Mystic Falls was full of those, but Katherine was a threat.

This was much more about how she was clearly trying to take Damon from you than actually just trying to be a friend to any of you.

She wasn’t that kind.

“Excuse me if I’m not thrilled to have your psychotic ex girlfriend prancing around in her underwear” you scoffed, not understanding what it really was that he was missing.

You were projecting, of course, but there was no real way around it. As insecure as Katherine made you, her being here was just as much of the problem. You didn’t want her injecting herself into your life.

It wasn’t her place, and the idea that he wanted you to somehow be okay with it was really messing with you.

“Cute”

From Damon, that was little more than a casual huff but he knew you better than to just believe that. It wasn’t like you to act like you did last night, not with him, even where she was concerned.

You were better than that.

You were better than her, that was why he didn’t think anything of her immature little games.

“Now the truth” he prompted, a soft smile on his face as he waited for you to tell him what was really eating at you. This had been dragging out for way too long, and he really just wanted to get it over with.

He wanted to help  you feel better, and he would do anything he could to make that happen, you both knew that.

Damon would have gladly turned her inside out if it would make a difference, but first, you had to tell him what was bothering you. He was good, but he wasn’t that good. You had to give him something to go off of.

“She is what I should be, what you deserve” you muttered, the words barely leaving your lips as you thought about them. You didn’t want to admit it to him, almost as much as you didn’t want to admit it to yourself.

You didn't like that she got under your skin, because she knew that she could. The more you let her, the more she got what she wanted.

...and you hated that.

“I think I’d rather have you” Damon shrugged, not even hesitating in his response. Given the two of you, and the person that Katherine was, there was nothing in the world he would have rather had than you.

He definitely didn’t want her.

Katherine had turned her back on Damon a million and one times, and at the end of the day, she couldn’t have given a damn what happened to him but you weren’t like that. You had the biggest heart of anyone he’d ever known, in several lifetimes.

There was nothing he wouldn’t trade, if it meant that he got to keep you.

At the end of the day, you were his person and he knew a good thing when he had it.

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

I Pick the TV Show, Rogers Shuts His Cake-Hole | Bucky x Steve x Reader (Angst, Fluff)

Category: Angst, Fluff (Suggested) Age: 14+ Trigger Warnings: none, other than the standard explicit language Ship: Bucky x Steve x Reader Summary: Steve Snaps At Reader When He’s Stressed, Resulting In Her Being Very Upset Request: "can u write where steve/bucky is overwhelmed with something and when reader asks to help or is telling them to relax they snap at reader and reader is hurt which makes them feel really bad afterwards. thank you sm. i love ur writings. and this is anon right? is it alright if u dont post my response if its not anon? im sorry. thank you so much. ur blog always pictures great stucky imagines. 💗💗💗" Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 2,488

---

A given, the super-soldier had been on nonstop missions for the last month or so, but she thought she was helping him feel better, not making him feel worse.

“Would you like anything to eat, Stevie? You’ve barely moved all day.” (Y/N)’s voice is small. Quiet.

She’s leaning through the door of his study where he’s sat putting together his mission reports from the last three or four missions he’s been out on.

He shakes his head but doesn’t even turn to look at her.

Sighing, the woman walks further into the room where her boyfriend is slouched over the desk.

“You gotta take a break, Stevie.” She whispers, resting her hands on his shoulders.

She notices the way they tense up, but he still remains silent.

His fingers continue to write up his report on the laptop.

“I’m worried about you, Stevie; talk to me.”

“I’m busy, (Y/N).”

“I know you are, baby, but you’ve gotta look after yourself too.” She attempts, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. He pulls away.

The woman furrows her brows.

“Steve, please, you’ve got to-”

“(Y/N), just stop!”

The shout is sudden and it makes her flinch back away from the man as he turns to face her.

“I’m fine, alright?! I don’t need you babying me all the time!”

She doesn’t respond for a second, surprised at her lover’s outburst.

He says nothing more, simply turns back to the laptop and continues typing away.

“Steve, look how stressed you are. Can you please just-”

“STOP! Okay?! Just stop! Leave me the fuck alone while I finish these neverending mission reports. For once in your life can you just understand that not everything is about you?!”

(Y/N) swears that being shot in the heart wouldn’t hurt half as much as the words that just came out of the man’s mouth.

Her mouth opens and closes as if searching for the right words to say, but that hurt.

Is she really that bad? Is that the truth behind all of this? That she’s clingy? Thinks everything is about her? That was never her intention. (Y/N) is well aware of how important being an Avenger is. Hell, she is an Avenger, for Christ’s sakes.

She says nothing more and leaves the room.

She can’t even decide if she feels sad. No. She’s not sad, she’s not angry, she’s not… anything.

Numb.

Naturally, her feet lead her to their room. Steve’s room. They all basically share the super soldier’s abode since they all got together, but right now she doesn’t dare open the door.

Doing a full one-eighty spin, (Y/N) takes herself back to a place she barely touches anymore. Her room.

It’s pretty empty. Most of her clothes are in Steve’s room, in her own walk-in wardrobe. Her bed is perfectly made from the last time she slept in here - maybe a year ago?

The woman walks around her bed and straight onto her bedroom balcony, overlooking the lake at the back of the compound, and stays there. For three-hours. Until Bucky comes looking for her.

He came home from his mission about thirty-minutes ago only to find their shared room of Steve’s empty. He searched just about everywhere, completely clueless.

“FRIDAY, where’s (Y/N) and Steve?” He finally gives in.

“Captain Rogers is in study five, and Agent (L/N) is in her private quarters.”

Now that makes the brunet furrow his brows.

Why would (Y/N) be in her room and not his or Steve’s?

He prioritises finding (Y/N) first, knowing Steve will be writing up mission reports, no doubt.

Despite them being together for over six-years now, he hesitates when reaching for the handle of her bedroom door. Instead, the man opts to knock.

No answer.

“(Y/N)?” Nothing. “Doll, it’s me; can I come in?” Nothing.

Bucky tries the door handle and finds it unlocked, yet still hesitates.

“Baby?” He calls out. Again, nothing.

He’s cautious now. Scared.

Her room looks as untouched as the last time he saw it, which was a few months back when she was after one of her plushies.

“(Y/N)?”

It’s when he feels the chill of the midnight winds ruffle his hair that he realises her balcony doors aren’t fully closed.

Striding straight over, his eyes widen at the sight of his girlfriend curled up in the corner of the outdoor area, crying.

“(Y/N), baby, hey, what’s wrong?!”

Bucky immediately drops to his knees in front of the woman, reaching for her hands and gently tugging them away from her tear-stained face.

“(Y/N), doll, look at me.” His voice is gentle. Soothing.

She does almost instantly but her sadness stays.

“What happened, baby? Are you hurt?”

The fear and sincerity in his voice is enough to prompt the woman to shake her head. Yes, she’s hurting emotionally, but he needs confirmation that she’s not dying.

The woman immediately sees the relief take over his features, but he’s still concerned.

“What’s wrong, doll?”

Her eyes stray away from his, not wanting to tell him what’s got her so upset.

“Hey, no, look at me, baby,” He whispers, hand lightly grasping at her chin to raise her face back up to his. “What’s got you so worked up, (Y/N)?”

Another shake of her head as she tries to escape her lover’s hold.

“Baby, please, you’re scaring me.”

Her face contorts into something close to heartbreak as she wants nothing more than to reassure the man in front of her.

“It’s okay, Buck.”

“It’s not okay! Doll, I haven’t seen you cry since Stevie nearly died on that mission in Ohio like two-years-ago! Talk to me.”

She takes a deep breath and wipes her face of the shedding tears.

“Do you want me to get Stevie?”

The question is innocent and makes sense, but her eyes widen and she shakes her head desperately.

“No! No, please, no.”

That truly makes the super soldier concerned.

“Doll, please can you tell me what’s happened?”

Never in the last eight-years that Bucky and (Y/N) have known each other has she been so reluctant to see Steve.

Another sob escapes her and it’s breaking his heart.

“Baby, please.”

“Steve got mad at me, alright?!” She manages an attempted shout. “I just wanted him to look after himself.”

“What happened? What did Steve do?”

He’s concerned. Massively.

“I was trying to get him to eat; he hasn’t eaten properly in so long. He’s so overworked and he’s hung up on all these mission reports. He told me that not everything was about me - shouted at me; told me to stop.” She’s whimpering and sniffling again now. “Please get him to eat something, James.”

That last sentence is the one that crushes him. She’s upset, yeah, but above all that, she’s still worried about the blond super soldier.

“Come on, baby, let’s go to our room and get into bed, yeah? I’ll go and speak to Stevie.”

Her eyes meet his and she looks scared, but the ocean blue gaze that he returns makes her bound to his every command.

The woman nods.

“Okay.”

“That’s my girl.”

With the help of the Winter Soldier, (Y/N) manages to stand up, letting him lead her out of her private room and into their shared one of Steve’s.

“Here, let’s get you into your PJs, yeah?”

He doesn’t leave room for negotiation as he helps his girlfriend strip out of her casual dress and into one of his oversized t-shirts.

“You get snuggled up in bed, doll. I’m going to go and get Stevie, okay?”

He hates how she looks nervous at the mention of their other lover’s name.

“He loves you more than words can describe, baby girl, I promise you. He shouldn’t have lashed out at you, I’m gonna talk to him, okay?”

A hesitant nod and forced smile is enough for now.

“I’ll be back shortly, I promise.” He leans over and gives the woman a kiss on the lips, leaving her with one of her favourite shows playing on the TV.

“Bucky,” Her choked up voice calls out just before he leaves.

The man turns from his place in the doorway.

“I love you.”

The smile that takes over his expression is contagious.

“I love you too, baby girl. More than anything.”

Despite his reassurance to the woman, he’s pretty damn pissed for a number of reasons about Steve losing his cool with their girl. Reason number one being, how dare he? Reason number two being, he knows better than to overwork, yet here we are.

Bucky doesn’t even knock once he approaches the glass doors of the study where Steve is sat typing away on the laptop.

The blond doesn’t even glance up to see who entered. He barely heard the door open which enrages Bucky further.

The brunet slams the lid of the laptop shut without saying a word, prompting Steve’s head to shoot up, glaring daggers at whoever has interrupted him.

“What the fuck, James?!”

That makes Bucky really get annoyed.

“Are you serious right now, Rogers?”

“I’m in the middle of about seven different mission reports, Buck, I’ve gotta finish them.” The man sighs, going to open the lid of the PC once more, only for Bucky to hold it down. “James, seriously,”

“No. What you need to do is explain to me why our girlfriend has been crying for the last God-knows how many hours?”

That makes Steve snap back to reality.

“What? (Y/N) has been crying? Is she okay?”

Bucky literally rolls his eyes at that.

“Are you fucking serious, Steve?” He repeats, Steve looking confused, expression contorting as he realises that his boyfriend is seriously angry at him.

“Bucky, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”

The Winter Soldier’s head lolls back as he groans in frustration.

“You seriously have no idea?” He asks, rhetorically, watching Steve look almost scared. “Do you often shout at your girlfriend and forget it happened?”

Cap’s eyes widen at that, and he visibly gulps.

“What?”

“She came in here to make sure you were looking after yourself, which you weren’t, by the way, and you tell her that not everything is about her?! Are you fucking stupid, Steve?!”

He remembers it all too well in that moment, turning his head down to avoid the frustrated glare of his male lover.

“No. No, you don’t get to look away from me. Look at me.” Bucky demands, watching the blond super soldier reluctantly do so. “I come home from my own exhausting mission, search for (Y/N) for thirty-minutes, and find her crying her God-damn heart out on the balcony of HER room; not our room, Steve, no. Her room.”

Steve’s heart shatters and his eyes widen once more.

(Y/N) hates staying in her room. She’d always be in his or Bucky’s without a doubt.

“I- Buck-”

Bucky shakes his head and stands back upright as Steve is lost for words.

“I’m not mad at you, Steve. I get it, you know? You’ve been overworking for the last month, I know you’re stressed, but fuck, baby, you can’t hurt her like that. Do you know how much my heart fucking shattered when I saw her curled up in the corner of her own God-damn balcony?! It tore me apart. She hasn’t cried since you nearly fuckin-” Bucky chokes on his own word as he walks away from his lover.

“I’m sorry! Buck, I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have let Fury send me on that many missions, I- I should’ve said no. I’m sorry.” Steve attempts, standing up and following the brunet, turning him around to face him once more.

“It’s not me you need to be apologising to, Stevie.”

Captain America nods and leans up to press a kiss to the man’s lips.

“I’m sorry, James.”

Bucky takes a deep breath and forces a smile.

“I forgive you. Of course I forgive you, I know you didn’t mean it, but I swear to God, if you hurt her again…”

Steve is already shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t dream of either of you getting hurt. Where is she?”

“Our room.”

He nods and begins heading toward the woman to which he owes more than he can give.

The door is half ajar when Steve gets there, he slowly opens it to reveal his girlfriend in all her glory, curled up under their Captain America themed duvet - which Sam bought the trio as a joke last Christmas. Her face is clear-as-day red from her earlier upset, and it breaks his heart.

The man knocks gently on the day as if not to startle the poor girl.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He offers a solemn smile when she turns to see who’s there.

He hates the way he can see her hesitation to speak to him as opposed to her usual squeal of his name, arms opening wide to welcome him into her cuddle-fest.

“Hi.” She manages, forcing her own smile.

There’s silence floating between them, the only sound being Jensen Ackles, in his role of Dean Winchester, talking a load of nonsense about pie on the TV that’s streaming Supernatural.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Steve manages, taking a step toward the bed. “Nothing can excuse the way I yelled at you, and I’m so sorry for that, but, sweetheart, trust me when I say I didn’t mean it. I was so stupidly stressed, and I should never have let it get to that point.”

She nods, truly believing his words, but it still hurt.

The blond sits down on the edge of the bed, not daring to cuddle his girlfriend until she’s comfortable.

“I love you so much, (Y/N) (L/N).”

A bigger smile taints her lips at that.

“I love you too, Steven.” Her voice is barely a whisper but he hears it clear as day.

“Can I hold you?”

(Y/N) smiles and shakes her head as if he was being silly.

“You never need to ask permission for that, Stevie. No matter what.”

With another sad smile, he pulls the woman into his arms and holds her tighter than ever before.

“I’m so sorry, my love.”

“I forgive you, but no more missions for a while.” She whispers.

“Yes, boss.”

Bucky’s leaning against the doorframe, watching the interaction. He took a detour to Tony’s office and made sure to give the billionaire a piece of his mind about making sure Fury didn’t have Steve on any missions for a long time.

“Is this the last episode?” The brunet speaks up, stripping himself of his clothes as he enters their room properly.

“Yeah.” (Y/N) nods.

“I still think we should watch Vampire Diaries instead.” Steve chuckles, mirroring Bucky’s actions.

“I pick the TV show, Rogers shuts his cake-hole.” (Y/N) teases, mocking a line from Supernatural and snuggling herself in the middle of the bed, sandwiched between the two super soldiers - where she belongs. “I love you both.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

“Love you always, doll.”

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[sunlightwoo]

you’re it for me: motive - chapter five

summary: something about him never sat right with you from the moment that you’ve locked eyes with him on campus. you’ve even gone as far as throwing your drink at him at his own release party, yet somehow the universe always brings the two of you together whether you like it or not. but what’s so special about him that makes you associate everything in sight to your hatred towards him?

masterlist | previous | next

“You can’t just pour coffee on customers, Y/N.”

You were currently in the back corners of the cafe cooling off from the heat of your emotions by your friend, Wooyoung, who had just witnessed everything in front of him. If anybody could see you at this moment, there could’ve been fumes once again steaming out of your ears because you didn’t think that he would show up once again in front of you. 

“I mean, I told Taehyun that I would do it again-”

“He’s literally famous, Blossom. What if he decides to take legal action against you, and you lose all the hard work you’ve been using for your gallery?” He reasons while giving you a stern glare, making you let out a huff in response as you cross your arms in front of your chest. 

It all would’ve been fine as a horrible day today, had he not shown up. There were way too many instances in which people had decided to be malicious against you, and nothing except for apologies had come from your lips. The moment that he had walked in, however, was when you were seeing red, and if it weren’t for your best friend being in the cafe today, you would’ve also put your two weeks in as well to your manager. 

But he was right; you needed the money so that you could at least create your gallery of works. 

“I don’t even know how he found me, I never even talked to this dude.” You mumbled quietly before glancing over to where the latter was sitting down near the front of the cafe, however you knew better and realized that you should apologize at some point. 

Maybe there was something that was written in the universes for you two to meet, you think to yourself, as you glance between your best friend that was glaring in front of you and the man who was the victim of all your drinks. You sigh to yourself, wondering if there were any other rational solutions to what has been happening, but you knew that you had to face it head on. 

That was until you see another shadow blocking your view. 

“Why do you hate me so much?” 

Yeonjun stares down at you with a confused look on his face with arms crossed in front of his chest, mirroring yours actually, and you weren’t sure how else you would have explained it. You were pretty sure that Taehyun would’ve explained it all to him already, but there were no words that were coming out of your mouth except for the frown that was stained on your lips. 

“How did you even get that cover art idea in the first place?” You retort as you were curious as to what he would say, but the next few words make your stomach churn for a moment. 

He had seen it in a dream, which could only mean one thing. You knew what this had meant, and you didn’t want to think of it as you stared at the man in front of you, realizing that your best friend had left you two alone a while ago when you were talking to him. 

Now that he was in front of you, it had somewhat made sense. 

“I need to leave, I’m sorry.”