#and i liked episode one a lot but 😬 all downhill from there

[365daysprocrastinating]

I think i've seen this film before... And I didn't like the ending.

Hello and welcome to my mind is so effed up I can't even understand myself. For today's episode we are gonna talk about how my mind has a sh*t ton of things happening all at once so now I can't find the words so I could get it out of my system nor know what I should do to fix it cause I have no idea where to start or what to do.

I know in myself that something is wrong with me. I have been drinking a lot and I have been doing things that I shouldn't be doing because that is borderline crazy and that at the end of the day, I will be the one who will suffer. Here I am, today in the verge of having mental breakdown because I did all those and now I have no idea what to do nor how to cope 😬

I am a mess. It has been a long ass weekend and I did not at least tried to clean up my room. The thought came in my head twice for like 2 seconds each. Never really push thru. I am still sleeping on top of my bed with my laundry under it.

I have been in this hell hole before. It was the hardest time of my life. I was in my worst and no one knew. I barely know myself, barely put things together, know nothing from the outside world. I am in the dark side of my mind and I hated every second of it. I just don't wanna get back to it. 😭

I can't remember when everything started, everything going downhill. One thing I remember is there's nothing that went right at least once beyond the day my life started being a living hell. My friends does make things a little better to still live tho.

I am not sure if my room is really just a depressing place to be but I really hate being here and I rather get out and see people (im a very socially anxious little bitch so u get it) than stay in this room... That I don't have the energy and will to clean. To be honest, any part of this house is despressing. I just want out. But I got no money so I'm staying. Lol.

And that's all the words I can produce in this (not so) fine evening. Goodnight.

[caernua]

season 2 of the witcher… ew ❤️