#and i keep listening to sad ig traumatic songs??? so i can hear them and not cry and MAYBE MAYBE I WILL REMEMBER ONCE I WAOE UP THAT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

susasflowers · 4 years ago

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The one day i shouldnt have taken theedibleee dhhdjxnznzbz. dEADASS MINUTES BEFORE FRIEND TEXT ABOUTCRISIS djjdjdjdjd like girl I COULDNT HAVE PICKED WPRST TIMING

#i took it this time bc i couldnt stop thinking about hud and just overall wanted to think about the idea of being okay w people passing away #MAN6 THOUGHTS #realizations zbsbdbdb #APPARENTLY I FELL ASLEEP TO MY sWINgSET PLAYLIST and i woke up to pretty bones song #AND OMG #i miss hud #and i keep listening to sad ig traumatic songs??? so i can hear them and not cry and MAYBE MAYBE I WILL REMEMBER ONCE I WAOE UP THAT #THAT IT DIDNT AFFECT ME AND I CAN JUST REPEAT THAT PROCESS FOR WHEN SOBER #and im really happy yall i think it might work #also fave songs are just 👌👌👌 and im happy im not having the worst reaction like last time #and hopefully thishigh doesnt last two days sbxnxnnxx bc rn imsomewhat fine BUT IF WAKE UP LIKE THIS AGAIN BYE #also i think imanaged to reply before it hit jsjdhdhd girl i dont remember #anyways hudson is beautiful and julians friendship will be valued as one i should enjoy to the fullest #bc i finally figure it out julian / the reason i was instantly drawn was bc i saw bits of huds soul in him and his actions #and I COULDNT STOP CRYING #like its so weird i cried but i felt no pain? i felt an ease #i felt an ease that someone as optomistic and hopeful as hudson exists #AN EASE THAT OTHER PPL GET TO COME ACROSS THESE BEAUTIFUL SOULS #like im so happy #after his passing i was very much stuck w the idea of why? why the best ppl? i will never meet anyone like him #and i did #and i am still allowed to see him and laugh w him and just im so thankful #and two days ago i was really going thru it bc virgo and i were eating fries in her car while looking at the city landscape #and i felt a pain in my chest and i felt like crying and wheezing bc i kept thinking what if its like in the movies #once u get a scene as wholesome amd simple as this someone passes away #and i told LESSLY AND WE LAUGHED IT OFF but im just i really dont want to see anyone close pass away #and its scaring me one of my gut feelings was right about friends situation #and i dont want that to apply to this idea of passing away #its been coming up a lot and i think its bc the 13th was the 4th anniversary and maybe its just bc of that #and if its true

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