#and i just stopped using it overall i think because it's so not user-friendly?

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

women talking never played at my theater so i looked it up just now to see where it might eventually stream and accidentally learned that amazon bought mgm??

how did that happen last year without me even noticing? and no wonder they have so many movies available that i don’t see elsewhere, i’m guessing you can earn a lot of money if you make people pay individually to rent/buy every thing you own 

and that’s on top of the subscription fee! cuz so many people have prime but most of their catalog isn’t free for subscribers anymore, women talking is $6 to rent when it’s now THEIR MOVIE. 

my anti-capitalist soul is so grossed out by that and by the merger in general there have been such big ones recently i can’t believe this one passed me by somehow because all the streamers may be creating ad-supported versions and retroactively canceling things they’d renewed and randomly removing their own stuff but at least they’re not requiring everyone to pay extra per property!

(except apple. but apple’s entire streaming service sucks, they don’t allow for different user profiles or let you make a watchlist or save your place in what you see.)

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.211 thoughts

[I'm Beggin' of You Please Don't Take My...Band???]

(Contents: power system analysis - Unchaste, character analysis - Kururu)

Damn, didn't get to make the "don't take my mom" joke, but at least I still got to use the Jolene joke at all

Speaking of things I was wrong about, I'm bummed that Kururu's interaction with Kaede wasn't at least somewhat amicable, but it is clear that there's something wrong (probably from a development in Kururu's life or manipulation on Soul's part), so it's definitely not too late. I was at least right about Fuuko and Julia joining the band to replace lost members, though! Just...not at all in the way I initially projected! I also seem to have been right about Kaede and Raita's souls being the components that Fuuko needs to fix her vessel, but I won't worry about speculating on that this week

The real meat of this chapter though is Kururu herself, as she's finally getting some much-needed development and her stocks are going through the roof! Both her near-useless power and her fairly generic archetype have been fleshed out tremendously in this one chapter alone, doing wonders to hype me up for what's to come next in her story!

Starting with Unchaste, we've seen a lot of Negator abilities undergo massive changes between Loops, like Unfair's activation requirement switching from being hated by others to acknowledging others' strengths or Unstoppable's deactivation switching from breaking oneself to breaking something else, but I think this is the first time that the target has changed

Previously, Kururu seemed to define chastity as a lack of love; if her target knew love but didn't currently possess it, then to her, they were living a chaste life. In other words, while she couldn't negate "true love," Kururu could fill the holes in the hearts of those who were lacking love. This is why she thought she thought she could affect Fuuko, but because she believed Fuuko wasn't actually in love with Andy and was instead just pining to have someone to fill the void created by her decade of isolation

Now, Unchaste creates that hole and then fills it. Now, chastity isn't just the lack of love, it's also the the purity of devotion. Being faithful to your beloved is a chaste act, so naturally, adultery is an Unchaste act. If "true love" is chaste, then Kururu can negate it and steal it, creating an impure love built on deception

...Wait a second, this really IS Oshi no Ko!!!

Ahem...so not only is the targeted concept expanded, the overall effect seems to have expanded as well, though that might just be because we never really saw it in action. We were told that those affected by Unchaste "bum rush" Kururu, and Kururu called Fuuko her "captive" when she used it on her. I'm assuming the idea was that the target would obey her whims, but that's not really how it was explained. I always thought it was an ability meant for drawing attention, like an aggro ability, and that the targets would basically chase down the user

However, not only did the fans seem unaffected, but the people she wanted to effect are acting as they normally would towards the people they already love. This implies that either a) the overall effect has changed, and b) that Kururu's level of control over who is affected has changed. She isn't just unilaterally affecting everyone who hears her music, she specifically went out of her way to steal Kaede's bandmates. In other words...

Kururu's tragedy has already been averted!

Her original problem was that her fans rushed the stage and the concert had to be stopped, and then even after she got more control she didn't want to cheat by making people love her over other idols by any means other than her own talent. Now, not only are her fans not rushing her, it seems she can also decide who does and doesn't fall under her spell! Thanks for the help, Soul, the only thing we need to do now is fix whatever confidence issue she has and she'll be a friendly in no time!

Well, there's probably more to it than that, of course. Honestly her real tragedy has probably just been changed like Feng's, but still, the act of defeating her here and subsequently having a discussion with her will probably be all we need to fix her. The question though is how

Presumably, she might still be able to use Unchaste on the fans if she needs to, like if she perceives that they're leaning towards Kaede over her. If Kururu's abandoned her pride and is willing to use Unchaste to make fans now, then Kaede will need to take advantage of some kind of weakness within Unchaste. My guess is it will have something to do with the soul, since she seems to be gaining access to hers, so maybe by "touching the audience's souls with her own," Kaede will wipe away Kururu's negation?

In fact, the soul is probably Unchaste's weakness overall. If Andy were to come in, I think it's pretty safe to say he'd be able to resist Unchaste, and the best way I can think of for him to do that would be for him to use some immutable aspect of his soul to retain his memories of Fuuko

Of everyone, I think that Nico would be the most resistant since Unchaste erases and replaces memory, which would require that the target forget details about their past. Since Nico is Unforgettable, he should be immune inherently, but even if he isn't, the expansion of his memory from his brain to his soul likely gives him an extra line of defense

How the rest of the cast who aren't present would fend off Unchaste isn't super relevant, though. The important thing is how Kaede and Raita will manage, and I think that Kururu gave us a pretty big hint this chapter

"Up until now, all I've wanted to know is what you have that I don't. I have that thing now. I'm done losing."

At a glance, it seems like the thing that Kururu has in common with Kaede is the ability to appeal to her specific audience, as evidenced by her aforementioned enhanced control of who Unchaste affects. Thematically, though, one would assume that the thing that Kaede has over Kururu is love

"True Love is Sincere! Infatuation is Mere Veneer!" - Kururu's encantation, Viz translation "Ai wa magokoro. Koi wa shitagokoro." - original Japanese “With love (愛), the heart (心) is right in the middle (真心, sincere) but with mere flings (恋) the heart is underneath (下心, ulterior motives.)” - literal translation

Kaede is willing to make her voice sound awful to a general audience in order to appeal to a specific audience with poor hearing. To Kururu, that must seem like Kaede is willing to change herself, throw away everything that makes her her, to be loved. No wonder, then, that Kururu has completely changed her style from pop to death metal; her very identity no longer matters to her as long as people will love her

But that's where her mistake is. Kaede isn't beloved because she's willing to bend over backwards and be someone she isn't to gain love from the crowd; she's beloved because she's a genuine and earnest person with a sincere love for the crowd. She's flexible enough to change her approach to ensure that her audience will have the happiest experience possible, even if it means letting someone else take the spotlight

Kururu, meanwhile, has always been portrayed as someone willing to change herself to appeal to others; she lies about her hobbies, her skills, and even her favorite foods, all to make her brand more appealing to a general audience. In other words, Kururu's true self is hidden behind a veneer, a focus-tested pretty face put on with the ulterior motive of garnering maximum popularity. This version of Kururu doesn't care if the crowd enjoys themselves, she cares that the crowd loves her

The distinction is pretty subtle, as in the end the crowd should theoretically have a good time either way, but one performer aims to give the crowd something to cheer for, while the other aims to take the crowd's cheers

Whatever ends up happening between her and Kaede, I'm honestly just really glad that I was finally able to dig this deep into Kururu's character. I don't think it's a controversial statement to say that Kururu was one of if not the least interesting Negator previously, she was certainly near the bottom of my list when I did the character sorter, but now? Well, I won't say she's one of my favorites just yet, but damn if I'm not attached! And her arc isn't even done, she's in her villain era right now! How much more will I like her when she turns good and gives us a genuine smile??? We've probably got a few more weeks until we find out, and I can't wait!

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello! May I have a fic of the troupe saving and having to babysit a lost child? Thank you ❤️

Hi, thank you for the ask! I'll be making the headcanons a bit general for this one

Phantom Troupe babysitting a child

I feel like even though they seem like cold-hearted killers who want nothing but treasures from across the world, they're actually really soft at heart. Perhaps it's their upbringing in Meteor City (manga readers should have a bit more insight on this one too), but they especially look out for children

If the child was a victim of the mafia, then expect the troupe to absolutely destroy the mafia group that made the child's life hell for who knows how long.

Will they take care of the child? Probably not for too long. Sure they have Kortopi (who I think is a child?) but they only keep him because he knows how to utilize nen and has a very useful ability. Having a non nen-user child with them would only bring more harm to the kid than good

While the kid's with them though, I'm sure a lot of them will try to cheer them up especially if they went through a lot of hardships. Pakunoda would especially be like a mother to them, and while Uvogin might seem like a scary person at first he might end up being the most friendly

Chrollo might interact with the child on some occasions but he keeps to himself most of the time. He might just look out for their health and their reading skills if the child is illiterate.

Feitan definitely says no at first when asked about keeping the child around. He says he hates children, threatening the kid at some point to not be too loud "or else" but Feitan is a lot softer around the kid than everyone originally thought. He's a bit like a tsundere, tending to complain about taking care of the kid but ending up really liking them (will sneak snacks for the kid on multiple occasions)

Machi's sort of like Feitan too. I feel like she would scold the child for getting hurt only to patch them up really quickly. She's a bit uncomfortable with showing affection, so she might come off as a bit scary at first

The whole troupe does like the child but they know it would be too dangerous to keep the kid around. They'll eventually stop by at Meteor City and drop the child off there where the elders of the city can take care of them. If the child wants to join the troupe in the future, the troupe won't stop them.

While the kid's in Meteor City, they should expect troupe members to show up now and then, sometimes bringing gifts along with them. I can imagine Nobunaga giving the kid a really big sword "just because" and then Phinks saying "bro they're like 8 the sword's like bigger than they are ://"

Overall the troupe will try their best to keep the kid happy and healthy, but they won't be able to keep the child around for too long. If the kid doesn't have a name, Chrollo might be tasked with giving them one. But, Chrollo will likely ask the child to choose for themselves

[suratan-zir]

Remember I shifted the responsibility to you? Y'all got me into trouble.

this is yet another post about rats, I'm sorry

About a week ago, I was feeling exceptionally anxious and overall unwell, so I did what I typically do to make things even worse. I looked through the rat ads online and found what I was looking for. In a city next to my town, a classic case of a rat in a tiny prison cell. Most likely bought for a child who got bored of it, either because it's not as cute anymore, its claws are too sharp, it smells bad or whatever the reason is. I've rescued quite a few of such unfortunate rats in the past. My most beloved rat of all times, Bambook, the little guy on my user icon, once was rescued from these conditions:

(yes, I keep the old screenshots because I'm sentimental like that)

So when I saw this post, my brain went like "this will be Bambook number two, same age, same conditions, even at the same price! I'll save him, love him and finally, after over a year of grieving, will let Bambook go"

(mind you, this rat is only 4-5 months old, very skinny and weighs 300 grams. Adult males can weight from 600 to 700 grams on average. Yet in this cage he looks big because of how small it is)

I went to that city, two teenage girls, who were looking kinda scared for some reason, handed me this tiny boy. I was asked to bring "a box or something" because "the cage is sold separately". I brought a carrier that was probably bigger than the torture devise they call a "cage".

I could barely talk to them, they started almost running away immediately after handing me the rat. Initially I didn't think much of it, I'm sort of used to people being scared of me. I'm told that I have a weird gloomy, unfriendly look on my face. But they probably wanted to get rid of him before I notice...

On the way home the rat was sweet and gentle, licking my hands and enjoying being petted. But when we got home…oh boy. I always knew that male rats can exhibit hormonal aggression, especially at the age of 6-8 months. But in the years of keeping rats, I never ever encountered such aggression towards humans. Guess I was just lucky.

At first he's cute and cuddly, calm even, then something switches inside his brain and in an instant he goes into killing mode. He attacks not only hands, he bites even knees and thighs, basically every body part he can reach. Then he calms down and demands pets again. He not only bites, but thinks I'm his bitch. After what he did to my hands and knees, they might be pregnant… The girls mentioned that he lived with another rat before they moved him to that cage. I assume it was a female and he mated with her, which made him even more hormonal.

So, everyone, meet Skritch. He went to horny jail and they stole his balls.

Also, the photo where he's stoned is the best photo I have of him, because he won't stop moving.

Skritch is smart, sweet and very friendly whenever he's not attacking me.

He was neutered only yesterday, so it is too early to judge the changes in his behavior. But he no longer bites my hand in the cage, even when we wrestle, which is a huge improvement. But unfortunately, he still didn't pass the couch test. (couch is the place where he gets most aggressive, probably because of the smells of other rats)

He attacked me only once today, the result you can see on the video, it's not nearly as bad as his bites were before. And after that, as always, he acted all innocent and affectionate and fell asleep by my side.

I already love him so much, even if he's a menace. But I am so not looking forward to introducing him to my other boys. Something tells me it's not gonna be easy.

[invaderziin727]

^^^^ I agree with this. I'm going to add on my own personal thoughts regarding this topic below. I think a lot of the discourse arising from this post comes from a miscommunication. OP talks about how the current state of computer literacy sucks because of corporate giant, another person sees this and assumes OP is unhappy with the current technology OP personally owns and wants to offer them a solution, OP gets mad because the reply does end up missing the point of the topic at hand being about the issue on a wider scale. This is where the "you cannot Personal Choices your way out of an Intentional Structural Problem" line is coming from. However, this leads to most of the people reblogging this post berating Linux in general, and that it sucks as an alternative and that "you can't just throw the kids over to Linux! They don't even know what the fuck a file system is!" The point of a solution to this problem is to have technology that doesn't obfuscate the workings of it's features so they can be properly explained and taught. Linux is the OS that exposes all of it's guts to you, it is the most suitable tool for that job. When we talk about wanting the youth to adopt Linux, this does not have to mean literally throwing them into the computery wilderness and having them fend for themselves, again, we can teach them. Insisting that kids growing up on chromebooks are literally incapable of comprehending anything advanced at all is only working in the favor of the corporate giants you are all criticizing. Going back to personal choices, though, the point of the reblog right above me still stands. A personal choice by itself may seem like nothing, but that doesn't stop it's potential to have an impact. Change doesn't happen by just waiting around for change to happen, change happens by taking action, and all actions are meaningful no matter their size or scale. When people take the individual choice to use Linux, that is going to affect it's overall popularity! The main reason for the decrease in tech literacy is because of the strong foothold the current tech tri-monopoly has, and more people using Linux means the less power they have. All of what I'm saying in regards to corporations absolutely applies to Microsoft and Apple too, by the way. Even though the ads in Windows 11 *can* be disabled, it doesn't mean that their presence isn't exploiting you. They (Windows, Apple) may not be the biggest offenders, but they're still doing the same things Google does that drive the problem of the decrease in tech literacy. Yes, Linux has a hard time running games, yes, on Linux there isn't an easy alternative to standardized software. I get it. But we have to acknowledge that everything else fucking sucks too, if we don't we'll just be stuck in the same place we are right now. The thing is, Linux is getting better as well. I've been able to run games on it, and there is a pretty damn user friendly distribution which has a graphical way to do almost everything you need to do on a Linux system. Linux may not be perfect, but it's come a long way, and I think the benefits it provides are more than worth it. This is a little bit of a mess of a ramble/essay, and I don't really know how to conclude it, but I hope I got my thoughts out in an understandable way.

We need to lay more blame for "Kids don't know how computers work" at the feet of the people responsible: Google.

Google set out about a decade ago to push their (relatively unpopular) chromebooks by supplying them below-cost to schools for students, explicitly marketing them as being easy to restrict to certain activities, and in the offing, kids have now grown up in walled gardens, on glorified tablets that are designed to monetize and restrict every movement to maximize profit for one of the biggest companies in the world.

Tech literacy didn't mysteriously vanish, it was fucking murdered for profit.

[bigheckinbraindrain]

Food logging apps

As of yesterday, I have been using all 3 food logging apps for 2 full weeks. I have logged each thing I ate as best I can (all food has been logged, but sometimes the app doesn't have exactly what I ate so I do as best I can; like one didn't have Little Greek Fries, so I found other fries that were similar in calorie count).

The overall, I think Lose It is my favorite. I have a lot of 🚫items on it, but the pros outweigh the cons (haha, outweigh). I don't want to have to keep up with each of them daily, but each one has something much better than the others do. With Lose It, it feels like the most complete and useful. With CarbManager, it's food logging is the most user-friendly and the daily page is just more robust and useful. With Chronometer, the breakdowns of macros is way better.

Here's where I am with each of them:

Lose It - Overall there are a lot of 🚫 on this list, but it's not my least favorite.

Food Logging

🚫Visually, it's not appealing. At least on the computer. I actually like it's phone app but the computer app just isn't very nice.

🚫It ingests from Apple Health which is ok, except that because I enter stuff on LI, and then the same stuff on the other apps, I have to go back and find duplicates all the time. This is, I'm sure, an easy setting to fix and it won't matter when I've dropped to just using one app.

✅It seems to have most of my food

🚫While it has most of the food, it doesn't show the brand on the diary page, which I weirdly hate

🚫Zero hotkeys or shortcut buttons/clicks. I also hate that

🚫In the meal search box, if you start typing, it can auto-hover on something and stops letting you type. It's a pain

Reporting and Insights

I really like the Patterns insight. It shows me "On days you eat (...) you tend to keep you (...) lower/higher" which is super helpful already, but I'm sure it will be much more so after I've used the app for a long time

The Food Insights (where it shows what items contributed to the highest calories/sodium/fat/etc) is pretty cool, but it doesn't let you pick the date range so ... meh

Budget shows the days you were over/under on your calories. That's kinda nice but I almost never look at it. It doesn't really lend to any changes in behavior so far

Nutrition insight is useless, because there is an "Unknown" slice in the pie. And it doesn't tell you what contributed to it. How can I take stock in anything it's showing on that chart when there is such a large portion that is unknown?

The weekly summary is kinda nice, I do like this one

The weight chart is pretty clear and easy to see my trends.

CarbManager - Overall, this has the most ✅ marks, but I just don't know that it's my favorite. I think this is 100% because it's focused on carbs and that's not my goal. I feel if they were to let you choose which macro is your focus and display accordingly, this would be my favorite by a lot.

Food Logging

✅Visually, this is my favorite. It's clean and crisp, both on the computer as well as on my phone

🚫It's focus is on Carbs (I mean, it IS called CarbManager) and I don't focus on Carbs. I really really wish it would let you decide to do Carbs OR Calories as your focus.

✅It has most of the foods I'm looking for

✅It tells you the name of the brand/restaurant and even shows pictures

✅It's super easy to copy from one day or meal to another, which is awesome

✅I actually just did a recent call with them for market research. I love knowing that they're that interested in their user base and take time (and spend money) to find out user's preferences and ease of use. They did a portion that was touch-point/pain-point and I LOVE that!

🤔There are a ton of recipes on the site (which is awesome) but they are all carb-focused (again, it's right there in the name) which is not my goal. So yay recipes, boo they are carb-focused. HOWEVER, because I'm not supposed to be eating wheat and select other grains, this is actually pretty good. I'm not Keto, but I share a lot of the same needs.

🚫Your weight isn't listed on your diary page. I want to see all the info I care about in one place

Reporting and Insights

If we're being honest, the reports section is shit. I get way more useful information looking at the day-to-day charts, because the reporting section is 100% lacking

Chronometer - I really like this one, except the lack of items in the database. I think if I had no issue looking stuff up, I'd absolutely love this app. I know that if I used this long enough, and I entered in everything that it didn't have in the db whenever I found something missing, eventually it would even out and I could find everything even if it was because I entered it. But I just don't have that kind of patience or desire to put in the extra work for an app I'm paying for.

Food Logging

✅Visually, this is almost an exact mix between the other two.

🚫🚫I find a lot of the food I'm looking for just isn't here. I have to frequently find "close enough" type foods, which means that the macro summaries that I like so much aren't really accurate.

✅It's very easy to drag and drop, rearrange stuff, etc. That's really nice

🤔I always talk about how much I love the nutrient targets, but if we're being honest, I rarely look at them. It seems the only time I care about this level of depth is when I get bloodwork done and I want to see what contributed to a specific thing (like sodium).

Reporting and Insights

The nutrition report for daily averages is pretty dope. I really like this one for retrospective

[olderthannetfic]

Hey friend. Well, an apparently a post I made has exploded. And a super friendly person has said that we're anti-ao3 and about censorship because the post was asking people to stop being cruel in bookmarks. I was pleasantly surprised, tbh, by the reception of the post. And then utterly shocked when it sped right past my usual ~50 note count to spread like fire. Right now it's at 14k notes, and while I'm really sad at how many people have said they have had cruel and hurtful comments- the overall reception has been good! A few people didn't know and adjusted their bookmarks. Many people just liked it. But about... 5? People doubled down insisting bookmarks are for readers and we shouldn't tell them how to use them. It's utterly baffling- the willful misunderstanding of the request. But this last one is accusing us of censorship and you know? I figured I'd reach out to accounts more used to handling this shit. So I'm talking to you, as you're quite level headed in the discourse I've read. Whether or not bookmarks are for readers... is really a moot point, isn't it? But asking them not to be cruel in their notes, as we are, is it truly so unreasonable? (Horribly optimistic, I know, but asking doesn't harm.)

--

Well... I think it's really a question of what "cruel" means to you, you know?

For me, direct insults to the author are too cruel. I'm talking stuff like "This stupid cunt can't write." Insult insults against their actual person, not just "I think this fic was poorly written". Threats are, of course, not acceptable.

I've been sent your post already, and I don't think I entirely agree with how you see bookmarks. Perhaps the tone of the pushback put your back up a bit, but underneath all that is a legitimate fundamental disagreement about what bookmarks are for and how much concrit or negativity should be visible publicly.

My view is that a very high level of concrit and even negative reviewing is fine in public... But not in the author's space.

The author's space is the comments on their fic, comments or reblogs on their posts, their email, etc. Basically, places you know will directly send the author notifications or emails to their inbox are places you post when you want to shove your comment in the author's eyeballs. I think unsolicited concrit and/or negative reviews are undesirable in such places.

Now, bookmarks on AO3, bookmarks on pinboard, recs posts on tumblr, recs communities on Dreamwidth, and the like are not the author's space. They're readers' spaces to discuss what they thought. It's true that sometimes what readers think hurts to hear. That's a good reason for authors to be careful about looking.

I do think that some AO3 users don't realize their bookmarks are public by default, and for them, a post like that is a good reminder.

But for others who are just using the bookmarks as fanfic Goodreads... that's what the bookmarking feature is for, and they're not doing anything incorrect.

So, again, does "cruel" mean insulting the author as a person, calling them rude words and slurs? Or does "cruel" mean bookmarking them with "1/5 stars, DNF, needs SPAG edit"?

AO3 has had an increased bullying problem in recent years, so I can well believe that people are getting bookmarks I too would consider cruel, full of personal attacks and anti bullshit. But I also see a lot of people calling "1/5 stars" cruel, and I'd consider that fair game and useful to other readers.

--

But as for the virality part, it will probably die down before too long. Most people won't remember that you're the OP of that post or have any particular association with your username from it. Anything that involves feedback for fic or AO3 itself tends to make the rounds like wildfire and people have a lot of passionate opinions.

I think the worst thing you can do is get defensive. If most of the replies are agreeing with you already, it's kind of petty to be really upset about the 5 that aren't. Being petty tends to attract more wank than just going "Whatever. I've thought through my philosophy, and I'm sticking to it."

[legionofpotatoes]

I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok

Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:

So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.

So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.

In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.

And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.

So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:

1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...

2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!

3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...

4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...

5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.

I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.

[theodora3022]

Headcanons of Yandere! Inasa Yoarashi

Request: Reader is a female UA student with a strong wind quirk, Inasa Yoarashi met her during the provisional license exam. She is not particularly charming or beautiful, but she peaked Inasa’s interests. Normally, she is a friendly person. However when he tried to talk to her, she would give a curt reply, clearly wants nothing to do with him. What angers him more is: She is close to Shoto Todoroki! Little did Inasa knows she is avoiding him because she is insecure about her control over the winds, she fears that the winds might favour Inasa and she would be left quirkless. Head canons please. Today is the wind boy’s birthday and there’s just so little content of him...He is underrated.

Notes: Interesting suggestion! Today is indeed his birthday, I shall tend to your request at once! I been wanting to write about him for a while ngl, but I just cannot find an exact idea. Thank you for this amazing idea, anon. There’s not much information about his personality so I don’t worry this being OOC hehe.  Sorry if this turns out to be a bit Yandere… Man this took way longer then expected, please enjoy!

Update: Sequal No.1, Sequal.2(Coming soon)

Some of this is inspired by @reinawritesbnha​‘s post. Go give it a read! It’s one of the best I ever seen.

Warning: Violence(non-graphic), yandere, kidnapping, dub con, implied breeding kink (? Idk this is the first time I wrote something like this)

You are a strong pro-hero in training. You can command airflows to your will, any gas is under your disposal. It is only a matter of time before you become the big three of your year. Even Bakugou does not want to anger you. You are a powerful tempest towards your enemies. Overall, you are quite confident about your abilities. 

That is, before you met Inasa Yoarashi during the provisional license exam.

When you first saw him, you feel this sense of…familiarity. Even though you never met him before, you cannot shake this feeling of connection with Inasa.

Then you felt his cold glance towards your direction. But when his eyes met yours, his lips curl up into a big grin and bowed slightly.

“I am Inasa Yoarashi, also known as Gale Force, from Shiketsu High. And what is your name, beautiful miss from UA?” Man, he is loud.

Ah, so he is Gale force. You learned about him when picking out your hero name, he also has a wind quirk. Then it strikes you: what if the winds like him better? What if they just abandon me while he is around? Those thoughts make you feel helpless, the scenario of being quirkless terrifies you to no end.

The blush of being called “beautiful” is gone, instead you replace it with a stoic face: “Pleasure to meet you, Mr Yoarashi. I am (F/N) (L/N), also known as (hero name). Come on Shoto, they are almost starting, we should get going. Please excuse us.”

You walk away, smiling at Shoto. Leaving Inasa there, angry and confused.

He immediately regrets withdrawing his application from UA. If he had been in your school, it is him you would smile and befriend now, instead of that wicked Todoroki! The way you are calling his first name, so intimate, just sends anger through his brain.

So, you have a wind quirk too, huh? No wonder he feels this instant connection with you.

Froze there for a couple of seconds, until Nagamasa Mora called him. “What has gotten into you, Inasa? The exam is going to start soon.” Ashamed to admit his true feelings, Inasa would brush off the older man’s concern, and pretend nothing had happened.

Words cannot describe how he felt when he saw you in your hero costume. Like Inasa, you had chosen to put a thick jacket on. The skies can get quite cold, after all. His looks practical, with multiple tubes to help regulate the air currents. But your grey coat looks like an expensive piece from a boutique, the edges even has fur for decorations. Inasa think your look fits for a scroll in the snow, instead of a battlefield. It’s probaly for disguise to fool villians. You have not fully button up the coat yet, he can still glimpse the (favorite colour) spandex bodysuit underneath. If this has not been an exam, Inasa swears he would ask you to go to dinner with him, here and now.

Feeling his gaze fixated on you, you tense up nervously. Is he finding ways to take the winds away from me? Horrified, you decide to stay far away from him during the exam as possible.

Shoto noticed your nervous state, he asks you what is wrong. You shrug, stating it is just pre-exam stress.

Every time Inasa sees you and Shoto’s friendly interactions, his heart bleeds. But he decides to wait until after the exam to take any action. He also decides to impress you with his outstanding performance in the exam.

When you choose the furthest area from him, it left him feeling disappointed. So he chooses a tall building as his battleground, to better utilize his quirk and to watch you from afar.

Unlike his approach with winds, which focus on intensity and strength, your winds concentrate their efforts on speed. Stealth and fast, most people only catch your afterimage in the corner of their eyes.

Your strategy is creating vacuums around their heads. When your opponents are choking due to lack of oxygen, you press them against a solid surface to knock them out. Then you score with the tennis balls, done. Simple yet effective. It has only been five minutes into the exam, and you are already finished, with minimal efforts of two people unconscious.

Inasa saw all of this from the top of the building, of course. Like an assassin of the night, you move with such grace, and that speed of yours! Truly amazing. He had never thought of creating vacuums before. He guesses this is one of your ultimate moves.

He might just be curious about you before, but after seeing you fly around with that incredible swiftness, Inasa find himself becoming more smitten with you.

It is settled in his mind: he has to have you. Just imagine how what a power couple you two would be! The wind duo will be invincible. And your children would have the strongest wind quirk ever.

In the break room, you sigh with relief; you reached your goals: stay furthest away from Inasa as possible and passing with negligible efforts. Taking out your (favorite snack) from your backpack, you decide to reward yourself a little.

But then you find Inasa grinning at you across the room. Your good mood vanishes instantly.

Talking to Shoto to distract yourself from his burning stare, you felt his gaze moved away.

“That Yoarashi guy, I saw him in the entrance exam for recommended students. I was surprised that he went to Shiketsu.”

Phew. You were delighted to hear him say that. You would not want to deal with this situation on a daily basis.

Before you can feel that delight, however. Inasa invites himself into your conversation.

“Your speed is incredible! The way you master your winds is truly impressive. We should train together sometime. We can share our experiences on the winds!”

Being the nice person you are, you did not ignore him, trying to bring yourself to like him. You do want to share experience with a fellow wind user.

You did not notice how he left Shoto out of the conversation, completely. Not that he wants to socialize with Inasa, but still.

To Inasa, you remind him of the warm spring breeze. A ray of sunshine, easygoing and friendly, the complete opposite of Todoroki.

Of course, you are unaware of his ridiculous plans involving a future together and children. You just see him as a enthusiastic, loud boy.

Shoto can feel his obsession thoughts for you, however. After Inasa left to prepare for the second part, Shoto warned you subtlety. But you did not take it seriously, saying that is just how Inasa make friends. “He’s like that with everyone. No need to worry.”

The second exam you devoted yourself into rescuing. Shoto said he would deal with the villain. So you just focused on dealing with injured “civilians”. After gaining knowledge of their “injuries”, you lift the debris with winds and deliver them to the first-aid station.

It was after the exam you find out the two had fight while dealing with the villain.

They did not pass. You comforted Shoto about it, leaving Inasa upset. He failed the exam too; he needs your comforting words just as much as Todoroki!

You exchanged numbers with Inasa upon depart, promise him to train together soon. You fear of inferiority is gone; being this close to him, you can sense his power is not as strong as yours. Evidently it is him who should worry about falling out of the wind’s favour.  

Your friends, especially Mina, tease you about your little encounter with the other wind user. Calling him your “Shiketsu boyfriend”. You yell for them to stop, saying you only seen him as a friend.

Inasa’s friends are pretty much the same. Although he is a year younger, his sociable nature made him approachable. He shows off now he got your number, and they all laughed. “She can create vacuums and suffocate people; I would hate to get on (y/n)’s bad side.”

After the exam, he wrote out his plan of attack, staying up until 2am to do so. Shiketsu forbid its students to have any romantic relationships, so Inasa wasn’t planning on having one with you. Your relationship with him will remain platonic until you both graduate.

It involves an arranged marriage and an immense sum of dowry to bribe your parents. His father always taught him to go after what he wants with all his might. Inasa cannot wait until you graduate and move in with him. It is such a shame a powerful hero like you have to become a homemaker so soon. But he cannot have you swinging around the city in spandex, they are for his eyes only. He wants to keep you in the safety of his house, to train his brood of offspring. Yes, that is what your prestigious UA diploma for-for his children’s head start in life.

Stalking you would be difficult since you can sense the movement of air around you. They report any abnormalities to you at once. So he watched you from afar, how you shoot across the sky like a bullet to go to school every morning, how you relaxed in mid air during lunch break, or how you laugh with your friends outdoors.

Sometimes you would feel like someone is watching you, but the winds say all clear. So you just mark it as you are being too self-conscious and do not care.

You two would occasionally text and train together/help each other with homework on weekends, getting lunch together afterwards. him acting like nothing less then a gentleman. You start viewing him as a friend, despite what Shoto said before.

Inasa is glad that you did not seem to take interest in any boys during your high school time. If you end up inTodoroki’s arms, he does not know what he will do to Shoto.

A week after you graduate UA your parents told you they have received a marriage proposal. They have already accepted it, so there is no room for negotiation.

You are shocked to surprised finding your intended to be Inasa Yoarshi. You thought of him only as a training buddy prior to this.You ask to postpone the marriage until you become a full pro-hero but was shut down rather brutally. He said he will provide for you. There is no need for you to work when he can just take care of everything.

“Don’t worry, love. I’m going to take such great care of you! You can teach the children at home, so they can get a head start in hero life!”

Avoiding him would be pretty easy considering your speed, you can carry on with hero work as if nothing has happened, even moving to another city. However if this goes on for too long, Inasa will kidnap you.

Most likely to steal you away from your apartment at night, as he is as good at being stealthy as you. You live alone, it was a breeze. Some Chloroform and ropes would get the job done. 

You would wake up in a nicely furnished room one morning, quirk-cancelling collar locked on your neck. With chains long just enough to reach the bathroom.

Inasa hates seeing you upset, but it is all going to be better once you get used to your new employment: his sweet wife, the mother of his children.

Will consider letting you go outside for grocery shopping if you been good, with his company of course.

He would never raise a hand on you, no matter how much you screams and reisists him. Being so understanding, Inasa knows you need some time to come around. 

He loves nothing more then watching you do domestic chores, this man got issues. He expects you stay at home, cook dinner for him and take care of him. Which is a nightmare for you, since you despise housewife life.

You are so helpless without your winds to protect you, so you tried to rip this goddamn collar off everyday. But it was futile: only Inasa has the key.

You went to bed with him just to get some time outdoors, since your claustrophobia is acting up. You didn’t expect him to be so gentle and soft. But you regret it soon after because he become insatiable afterwards.

Then two months later you found yourself in the bathroom, staring at a positive pregnacy test. 

Once Inasa knows about your condition, he will loosen the restrictions. You can now use your quirk under his supervisions: it’s excerise, and the two of you both need it.

He would take you to comittee events, to go visit his friends, even letting you see your friends from time to time. You also got your phone back, but with a tracking app installed on it. 

Now all he has to do is wait a couple more months to meet his child.

[feirceangel]

Imagine | Fan Encounter (Rohan Kishibe)

Warning: socially anxious reader.

Word Count: 1585

~

"You're so lucky," you sigh as you sip your drink.

Koichi and Yokako invited you to grab drinks with them at the cafe. You're almost surprised that Yukako wanted you to join, but she understands that you and Koichi grew up together and that you're just friends.

Koichi looks up at you, "Lucky?"

"Yeah. You met the Rohan Kishibe! The greatest manga artist in the world!" You say adamantly. "And you didn't even invite me."

He had told you all about his exciting run-in with the artist, even explaining his Stand. Being a fellow Stand user, you were beyond excited to find out that you share a commonality with the author. Although, you were still jealous that Koichi had gotten to meet him.

"If you want, I could introduce you, but I have a feeling you'll meet him eventually. Stand users tend to run into each other," Koichi offers, Yokako giving him a bite of her cupcake.

You watch them with a smile. At first, their relationship was frightening, but now it's adorable. They really love each other.

If you had been Okuyasu, you would have started crying at their cuteness. Of course, you have much more restraint than him. Even so, you can't help but wish for a relationship like theirs. It doesn't even have to be like theirs, you'd be happy for a relationship at all.

Naturally, your general standoffishness manner in front of strangers doesn't help your case. You become a nervous wreck when you have to communicate with strangers, so it's hard to meet new people or make new friends.

You became friends with Okuyasu because of Josuke, who you know from school, just like with Koichi.

Anyways, the point is that suffering from social anxiety sucks.

That's why you know you can't meet Rohan Kishibe, because you know you'd make a fool of yourself.

"I could never meet him, Koichi, you know that," you exhale and stir your drink idly.

He knows about your social issues, and does his best to support you. He's tried to teach you on how to hold a conversation and how to relax around people, and it has done some good, but you're still scared to meet someone as important as Mr. Kishibe.

You almost had a panic attack meeting Mr. Jotaro Kujo for the first time. No one had warned you that he would be joining the group. A bit of warning probably would have been enough to prevent an attack from occurring.

That man is frightening.

"You've gotten better, Y/n," Yokako insists with a smile. "You just need courage."

"Easy for you to say, you're the most courageous girl I know."

Koichi chimes, "It's true! And I know you're overcoming your anxiety. It's just taking some time, and that's okay."

You smile at your friends, "Thanks, guys. You're really great friends."

"So, do you want to meet him?" Koichi presses.

You really do want to meet him, if only to tell him how much his work has inspired and comforted you over and again.

But it wouldn't be smart.

He's too important, too amazing.

Shaking your head, you stand, drink finished. "N-no, that's okay, Koichi. Thank you. See you both tomorrow."

"Bye Y/n," Yokako says, Koichi echoing her. They watch you walk away with slumped shoulders.

Exchanging glances, they sit in silence for a bit before Josuke and his best friend join them.

"Oi, Koichi!" Okuyasu greets with a grin, "What's happening?"

"Oh, hey guys. We were just hanging with Y/n."

"Where is she?" Josuke looks around, spotting you in the distance. "Why's she leaving?"

Koichi shrugs, "She wants to meet Rohan but she's scared she'll embarrass herself."

Josuke scrunches his face in distaste, "Rohan? Why would she want to meet him?"

"Yeah, he's a jerk," Okuyasu adds.

"She loves his work," Koichi explains, "She's read all his books."

"Why's she scared to meet him? He's not so special," Okuyasu grumbles.

Koichi sighs and Yokako speaks up, "You know how she gets around strangers."

The two best friends share a knowing look, "Oh."

"Maybe if she just ran into him accidentally she wouldn't be so stressed?"

"Not a good idea. Remember how she reacted to running into Jotaro?"

"Good point."

The group runs over various scenarios, trying to find a way to make her meet her favourite author.

~

You smile softly to yourself as you walk to meet up with Koichi. It's been a week since your last hangout, so he invited you to go on a walk with him and Yokako.

As you approach, you realize that Josuke and Okuyasu are also present. You don't mind, after all, the more the merrier.

"Hey," you wave.

They all welcome you and start talking.

"I brought the book you wanted to borrow," you tell Koichi. "It's my favourite, you know. I hope you like it as much as I do."

"Thanks! Uh, do you mind holding it till we part ways?" He asks, pointedly looking at his hand which is entwined with Yokako's.

You smile and nod.

He thanks you again and rejoins the main conversation which happens to be about school. You follow the discussion, adding in when asked a question.

"Oh, look! There's Rohan," Koichi points out as you walk.

Startled, you glance up from the pavement to find the Rohan Kishibe walking towards your group. Frozen, you stop in your tracks.

Styled green hair, a headband, and his sketch pad slung across his shoulder, Rohan looks as amazing and sophisticated as you expected.

Koichi waves, successfully gaining his attention.

"Hello, Koichi," the manga artist doesn't smile but he seems friendly. Until he looks at Josuke, whom he glowers at.

"Hi, Rohan-sensei!" Koichi chirps with a grin.

You seem to shrink, trying to hide behind Okuyasu to no avail. Rohan's sharp teal eyes find your e/c ones and you find yourself frozen again.

His gaze flickers to the book clutched in your hands. It just so happens to be one of his earlier works.

"Who's this?" He questions.

"Rohan, this is my good friend Y/n," Koichi smiles brightly.

His eyes light up in recognition, "Y/n L/n?"

You gulp nervously, "Y-yes."

"I've read about you," Rohan walks past Josuke to stand directly in front of you.

Eyes wide, you feel your body temperature rising, "Y-you have?"

He nods, "Through Koichi's memories."

"Wow," you breathe out. Somehow you're not as panicked as you thought you'd be when meeting him. But then you think of what he learned about you by using his Stand.

You turn to Koichi for help, but find him missing. Concerned, you look around to find your friends already a block away. They're just gonna leave you here?!

"I know you're... uncomfortable with meeting new people, but trust me. I'm not gonna bite," he offers, a neutral expression adorning his flawless face. "I too am often irritated by social interactions."

"Really?"

He starts walking, and you hesitate to follow until he looks back at you expectantly.

"Do you want an autograph?" He asks idly.

You stare at the book in your hands and it all clicks into place. Koichi set this all up, didn't he?

"I-if it's not a bother," you mumble, holding it out to him like an offering.

He is quick to apply his signature to the front page as you watch with awe and giddiness. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices your ecstatic expression.

Having read about you from Koichi's perspective, he knows you're good-natured, caring towards your friends, and overall a good person, not unlike Koichi. Since he respects the smaller silver haired boy, he agreed to meet his friend.

Koichi even let him refresh his memory on your personality by telling him more details about you.

This triggered Rohan's curiosity. He found himself wanting to unravel your secrets, your passions. Perhaps you'd also make an excellent inspiration for a manga character.

Now that he's met you, he can't help but smile the tiniest bit. He recognizes the adoration in your eyes, basking in it.

"I-I wanted to say, um, that I really love your work," you state, voice wavering under his stare.

"Thank you. I am glad my work has found a place in your heart."

Face heating up, you walk beside the mangaka, overjoyed at meeting your favourite celebrity. Rohan glances at you again, "Would you like to see my studio?"

You inhale with excitement. You never dreamed that he would actually invite you to see his workplace!

"Uh, if it's not a problem, that would be amazing," you say, trying to reel back your nervousness.

Glancing past Rohan, you see Koichi giving you a thumbs up with a wide grin. You smile back, grateful to your friend.

Rohan leads the way to his place and gives you a tour and overview of his working process. You drink in his every word, hoping to memorize this experience.

After the tour, it's time to go.

You beam up at the green haired man, "Thank you so much, Mr. Kishibe!"

"Call me Rohan," he says flippantly. "You're welcome to come back anytime."

"R-really?"

He nods, "Of course. Goodnight."

You wave back at him as you walk away. He watches you, a small smile gracing his soft lips.

Surprisingly, he actually enjoyed the time spent with you. It helped that you stroked his already large ego, but he also found your shyness endearing.

He can't wait to meet you again.

[fandom-necromancer]

‘You come here often?’ ‘Well I work here.’ Part 4 

This was prompted by the lovely AO3 user LoafofCat! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 [Read complete on AO3]

‘You know, if you just wanted to see me, there would be easier ways.’ ‘Bold of you to assume I come here only to see you.’ Nines smiled looking up to Gavin, who was just untying his apron and sitting down in front of him with a coffee of his own. ‘Am I wrong then?’, the human asked and Nines huffed, letting his head fall. ‘No’, he admitted. ‘Okay, so let me get this right’, Gavin laughed. ‘I had to propose to my boss to get thirium drinks on the menu as a “costumer asked for it” and it might help us crank those numbers up, just so you could plant your ass here in your break?’ ‘It did get you more costumers though’, Nines shrugged pointing to the other tables. ‘That’s not- Nines, do you think I care about this shop? I just work here; I don’t care if… You know what? Screw it. Nice to see you, Nines.’ ‘Nice to see you too’, the android chuckled. ‘How are you?’ ‘Can’t complain. What do you have there?’

Nines looked down on the tablet in his hands. ‘Oh, just work. A case.’ ‘You are on your break and brought work?’, Gavin asked, looking at him sceptically. ‘Tina was right, you really are me just with a little less personality.’ ‘Being nice and polite doesn’t mean not having a personality. You were just an asshole.’ ‘What technically is a personality trait’, Gavin argued, taking a sip from his coffee. ‘Now come on, tell me about your case!’ Nines frowned. ‘I really can’t tell you, it’s-‘ ‘Confidential, I get it. But come on, I’m a former cop I can keep a secret. For old time’s sake.’ The android eyed Gavin and how he looked so eager to get information. It was cute in a way, how he looked in between his eyes and the tablet in his hands. Maybe that’s why Nines showed weakness and caved in.

‘Okay, but you really keep this to yourself. We are investigating a series of murders. They don’t have anything in common in regard to victims or how the deed was done or staged, but at every crime-scene we found the picture of this man.’ Nines flipped through the pictures of the different crime-scenes until he reached a few portraits. They weren’t really the kind of pictures you would expect of a cold-blooded serial-killer. Not after the few flashes of gruesome staging, Gavin caught a glimpse of as Nines had searched for these. They all portrayed a middle-aged man with a small belly you could easily get if you worked long hours in the office and were too exhausted afterwards to do sports. The pictures looked like they were ripped right out of a family photo-album. The guy was at the beach smiling at the camera with a cocktail in hand. The next one showed him in what Gavin supposed to be his home with a small dog on his lap. Then next to a ridiculously oversized barbeque grill all shiny chrome and reds.

Gavin lifted a brow at Nines. ‘Yeah, sorry Nines, but no way this is your killer.’ ‘I ruled it out as unlikely, too’, the android nodded. ‘Although you can never know with people. At the very least it’s a lead. Maybe the killer knows this man. As much as this is a lead, it is also our only link.’ Gavin shrugged, leaning back. ‘Well, why haven’t you solved it then? I mean, you can scan his face and get a name, age, address, likely even social media as creepy as they designed you and Connor. No offense there.’ Nines sighed. ‘As creepy as I might be designed, my scanner has its limits too. I can’t get a name to this man, not even an age. Scanning him just returns an error. Manual research in the police databanks also hasn’t brought up anything yet. We also can’t exactly go around asking for this man. If he is the serial killer, as unlikely as it might seem, we would only alert him.’ Gavin nodded absent-mindedly, staring at the photo, pulling the tablet closer to zoom in on some details. ‘Honestly?’, Nines said frustratedly. ‘We’re all currently waiting for the forensics to find more evidence on the bodies. It’s quite frustrating, but at the same time no one really minds if I spend a bit longer on my break with you.’

Gavin couldn’t help but let out an exaggerated ‘Awww’ at that, Nines reprimanded with an annoyed but amused look. ‘Nah, really thanks, looking at your tablet for what, ten minutes? This was already more exciting than the whole damn month. The most action I had was a drunk guy I had to escort out because everyone else was too chicken shit to risk getting vomited on.’ ‘Understandable.’ ‘Not the point. I mean, I’m happy here, I guess. It is decent money and I have more time for my cats at home. Also, maybe not being confronted with what humans are capable of is nice for a while. But I can basically feel my brain rot here.’ ‘That is also understandable’, Nines huffed. ‘Maybe search for some outside work activity? Something new to learn and keep you active mentally?’ ‘Like what? Knitting?’ ‘If you want that?’ ‘You know what? Maybe not the worst idea. I’ll see if I can find anything and when I have I will-‘

Nines never got to find out what Gavin would do afterwards, as his colleagues called him, pointing at the growing queue. The human sighed. ‘Well, my call to duty’, he announced and walked over to press a quick kiss to the android’s temple. ‘Was nice chatting with you, babe. Good luck with your case.’ ‘Yeah, you too.’

-

It was a slow Tuesday, without many costumers coming in. The rush of office workers in their break had already stormed the small shop and rushed back to their workplace and now it was mostly a few students and the regular old granny circle in the front judging people and eating cake. Living the life. Gavin had already washed the entire stack of mugs twice now and was out of work, except for manipulating the radio until his co-workers began to wonder why the last song had been so long and found him messing with the system. Then he walked around, collecting discarded newspapers and cleaning the tables while his co-worker told him she would be out for a cigarette. He nodded and continued working until a sole costumer entered. Gavin quickly rubbed the table dry and hurried over, throwing the man an extra smile just in case he wanted to complain about having to wait a few seconds. ‘What can I do for you?’ ‘I’d like a coffee, please. Medium, to go with cream but no sugar.’ ‘Coming right up.’ Gavin was already going through the motions of preparing the coffee and turned around to hand it over. ‘Anything else…’ He trailed off, as he saw the man’s face, but he seemingly hadn’t noticed his slip. ‘No, thank you, that would be all.’

Gavin watched him leave again and was trying to decide what to do next. He couldn’t just leave; he was at work after all. But he couldn’t do nothing either. Frantically he looked through the shop and, in the end, shook his head, rushing past the counter. Outside his co-worker stopped him. ‘Gavin? What are you doing?’ Gavin blinked, but came up with an excuse fast enough: ‘Dude forgot his wallet. Can you take over for a moment? Sorry!’ ‘Sure, no problem. Just hurry, he’s already behind the corner.’

Gavin did hurry. But not to run after the man, but to pull out his phone. ‘Nines? Yes, hi babe I know you are at work, shut up, this is work. Li-Listen, yes. Shut up for just a second! I’m pursuing your office killer. Ye-Yes, exactly, the beach holiday photo model with the ugliest dog I’ve seen in my life. Now will you phcking get your ass here? I will pursue him you can track my phone. Wh- come on, it can’t be that dangerous, I’m still well trained now stop worrying and move your ass!’

He had become louder than he wanted and had caused the man he wanted to follow inconspicuously to turn around. He wasn’t really unsuspicious though, dressed in the silly coffee-shop apron and shouting at someone on the phone. Trying to play it down, Gavin instead tried the open approach: ‘Hey, you forgot your wallet!’ It only caused the man to bolt. So much for being a friendly, costumer-orientated employee. Gavin pushed it all to hell, lifting up his apron and running after the man. So, he did had dirt on him. Gavin followed him down the street and used a streetlight to take the corner with more speed. A mistake he later would regret as he ran face first into a fist that definitely wasn’t human. Seeing stars, he looked up from where he had fallen against the building. The chubby man was surprisingly agile and fast, unfitting to his overall completely average looks. And Gavin saw why: The skin where the man had punched him had retracted to show stern white underneath. The man was an android? Where the hell did he get all these modifications from? Cyberlife had designed all androids to be phcking inhuman models. But maybe that had been the plan. Being as inconspicuous as possible. Remembering the brief flashes of crime-scenes that made him pale. Oh no.

‘How the hell did some barista recognise me, huh?’, the android asked, holding Gavin by the throat, his toes barely touching the ground. ‘You are all over the news!’, Gavin tried. ‘I’m not. None of my doings have even been published yet.’ ‘Well, I was a cop once.’ ‘Were you? Well, who is your contact then? If you were a cop once.’ Gavin really hoped someone would turn the corner and see this to help him. Because the way the android’s hand clenched around his throat, lack of oxygen could soon be his least concern. ‘My boyfriend, okay? But I will never tell you his name!’ ‘Your boyfriend? Alright, thank you. After I killed you, I will go to him next. See if I can’t keep this information from spreading.

The pressure on his throat became almost unbearable, as Gavin saw a flash of white behind the man. ‘I highly doubt that’, Nines voice sounded through the alley and Gavin could see the gun aimed at his head. ‘Now let him down and go.’ The android in front of Gavin cursed, but complied. ‘You are arrested for the suspected murder of three people, as well as the attempted murder of this man. Turn around, hands behind your back.’ Nines handcuffed him, reading him his rights before making the call to the station to send a car.

‘Gavin, that was extremely reckless of you.’ ‘Hey, I got your killer, right?’, Gavin croaked with a cocky grin while rubbing his throat. ‘I solved a case you would have waited weeks on before even getting close to the guy.’ ‘Oh, please, I’m the most advanced android there is. I would have gotten him.’ ‘Yeah, but it was the ex-detective they threw out to replace with you that caught him in the end.  Please, rub that into Fowler’s face for me, would you?’ ‘I most certainly won’t’, Nines stated. ‘I will emphasize your involvement in this case though, what at least should keep your employer off your ass.’ ‘Oh, what would I do without you?’ The android in Nines grip struggled against him, causing Nines to return his attention to him. ‘Urgh, get a room, you two!’ ‘Excellent idea actually. Gavin, how about after our shifts ended, we meet at my place? You know? To celebrate.’ ‘Oh, I’d love to’, Gavin grinned and winked the RK900.

The captive criminal got a glimpse of the gesture and regretted it deeply. ‘Oh, please, just kill me, would you?’

[route22ny]

We’re Never Going Back to the 1950s

The year 2020 shattered America’s shared reality.

by DEREK THOMPSON

DECEMBER 16, 2020

***

Twenty years ago, the sociologist Robert Putnam in Bowling Alone used the decline of bowling leagues since the middle of the 20th century to symbolize America’s declining social engagement. This year, he published a sequel of sorts, The Upswing, in which he identified more stray threads of our social unraveling: in lower marriage rates, church attendance, and trust in government; in falling membership in all chapter-based associations; collapsing social trust among young adults; and even a decrease in mentions of community versus identity in novels and nonfiction books.

But no measure of communitarian pessimism could have prepared Putnam for the circumstances of the past nine months. America’s bowling alleys haven’t just depopulated; they’ve gone dark, along with thousands of churches, restaurants, bars, cafés, gyms, theaters, and almost every other physical space that could preserve or nurture a physical community.

Mirroring this civic fragmentation, America’s media and entertainment industry has spun apart, and the spinning is accelerating. On December 3, the film studio Warner Bros. announced that subscribers of the company’s digital streaming service HBO Max will be able to watch all of its 2021 film releases at home, on the same day that they’re released in theaters. The movies affected by this decision aren’t humble indies. We’re talking Dune and The Matrix 4—the sort of films that, if they were released exclusively in theaters next year, might earn a domestic box office roughly equal to the GDP of Micronesia.

Like Putnam’s beloved bowling alleys, cinemas are an example of the decline of semiweekly gatherings in the United States—even if they’re less chatty establishments. In the 1940s, the average American bought more than 30 movie tickets a year, regularly packing into theaters with scores of strangers. In the past few years, that figure fell below four. In 2020, movie tickets sold per-person will fall below one—possibly for the first time since the late 1800s. The decision by Warner Bros. will likely encourage other entertainment companies, such as Disney, to funnel more of their marquee content to streaming services in the next few years. And the result could be a death spiral for movie theaters as we know them, as the film industry continues its shift from a public, ticketed affair to a private, living-room experience.

Home entertainment is fracturing as well, and along with it the communal-while-alone possibility of a shared popular culture. Since 2010, 33 million households have either cut the cord or never signed up for cable TV in the first place. The traditional cable bundle is slowly dying, and its death is fertilizing new subscription-only streaming services, such as HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock from NBCUniversal, and Quibi (RIP), which join a landscape crowded with Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and Hulu, not to mention user-generated video platforms including YouTube and TikTok.

It would be hackish to accuse Netflix or Warner Bros. of being the main accelerants of American loneliness. But the fact is that cinematic entertainment, which was born as the ultimate communal ritual, an experience whose technology required simultaneity and togetherness, has become the ultimate personal activity, an incomprehensibly long spectrum of different stories mostly consumed in a state of solitude.

This media shift—from the scarce and communal to the abundant and privatized—also describes the evolution of the news industry. In the past 20 years, newspaper circulation, advertising revenue, and employment have cratered. But overall, news—that is, sources of new information, of varying truthiness—didn’t decline; it exploded. The web created a phalanx of news publishers, not just websites but also Facebook pages, Instagram personalities, newsletters, podcasts, and so on; at the same time, Google and Facebook duopolized digital advertising, creating a situation where publishers were multiplying as advertising declined.

In ecology, the term niche partitioning describes the way that competing species become hyper-specialized in an attempt to co-exist in an environment with scarce resources. I think that’s what’s happening in the news industry. As the number of competing publishers increases, it makes sense for each of them to carve out an ecological niche. This niches-get-riches race leads logically to a set of more outlets that embrace a more unabashedly partisan perspective—just as they did in the late 1800s.

One might assume that polarization is what happens to people cut off from information. But the truth is closer to the opposite: More information means more polarization. Research shows that access to broadband internet in the U.S. has in many cases increased various measures of polarization, as the web introduces voters to a bigger menu of partisan news from which voters select the sites that match their political tastes.

We’ve seen this phenomenon accelerate in 2020. Four years ago, most people would have said there were three major cable news networks: the center-left one (CNN), the liberal alternative (MSNBC), and the conservative juggernaut (Fox News). But in the past few months, the conservative-news monolith has shattered. Since the election, Newsmax TV and the One America News Network have stepped up to backfill President Donald Trump’s election-fraud lies with programming from an alternate reality. And behold, niche partitioning works: Last week, Newsmax rode the election-conspiracy story to its first-ever ratings win over Fox. Because Trump devotees are going to buy tickets to whatever media universe offers the best narrative, networks are competing to tell the Trumpiest tale.

With weekly religious attendance at low ebb and live TV in structural decline, national elections are arguably the only activity that Americans do together in shared time. But shared time is not shared reality. Led by the president, Republican lawmakers have petitioned to sabotage the results of the election, based on fantastic conspiracy theories. The GOP fever dream, which is credulously reproduced across Trump-friendly media, is clearly contagious: More than 80 percent of Trump voters believe that Biden’s win is illegitimate, a figure corresponding to about 60 million people. There is nothing unique about reality and fantasy blending together in politics. But the speed and severity with which Trump’s “Stop the Steal!” mind virus has infected the GOP is the sign of a compromised civic immune system. A far-right cohort has been effectively quarantined from reality in one corner of our honeycombed media landscape.

There is no going back to the 1950s. We will never again be enfolded by those bespoke mid-century circumstances, the scarce broadcasts and broadsheets. The dividing forces are too strong and too many. The film experience pushed out across millions of flatscreens; the live-television networks splintering into millions of digital entertainment queues; the news dissolving into innumerable political realities: One by one, these are not evil trends. But they add up. Or, more aptly, they divide. They individuate.

People ask me if I’m optimistic about 2021, and the answer is that, in a way, I’m ecstatically optimistic. The economy will reopen, and life will reopen. People will come out of their homes; they will send their kids to school; they will hug and kiss and live. But underneath the high tide of economic growth and social normalization, I think we’ll feel something else, an eerie undertow of isolation and anxiety.

“The definition of community is ‘where you keep showing up,’” said someone I met, whose name I’ve forgotten, back in the days when it was normal to meet new people whose names you could forget. I haven’t forgotten that line, though: Community is where you keep showing up. What a lovely idea. But where do people keep showing up, these days? Nowhere. Not the office, not the COVID-aerosolized bars and gyms. A lot of people have spent a year finding community via a glowing screen in a room they never leave.

The empty bowling alleys and movie theaters; the infinity buffet of entertainment and partisan media; the dissolution of a shared American reality—these are distinct yet connected phenomena. Digital technology has spawned a choose-your-own-adventure mediascape, which has flooded the electorate with alternate realities, at the same time that its community ties wither. America is coming apart, and these pieces will not be easily reassembled.

***

DEREK THOMPSON is a staff writer at The Atlantic, where he writes about economics, technology, and the media. He is the author of Hit Makers and the host of the podcast Crazy/Genius.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/12/how-2020-shattered-shared-reality/617398/

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”. 

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

[astraguardian]

Clover Ebi is Important

I was inspired to write this after seeing posts where people suggested that Clover was a “nobody” in-universe and that we were never supposed to care for him as a character. Clearly quite a few of us think otherwise, and I wanted to go into detail on why that’s the case. I’ll be primarily focusing on how the show used framing to set Clover up as an important character who we should pay attention to, while also touching on how Clover is shown to fulfill a high-level role in-universe in the Atlesian military. I previously discussed Clover’s role in the trailer for volume 7 and that post can be found here.

Clover and the Ace-Ops

For this section, we’ll mostly be discussing how Clover is given more focus than the other Ace-Ops in terms of both framing and screen time. Fun fact, a reddit user who ranks the word count of each character in RWBY found that Clover had 1,259 words this volume. So, what exactly does that mean? For starters, it means that Clover spoke more words than all of the other Ace-Ops combined, who add up to 1,176 words among the four of them. It means that Clover has the 22nd highest word count out of all characters in the series and it means that he has the highest word count for any character who has only appeared in a single volume, beating out Jinn by 27 words. It also means that Clover, in one volume, has spoken just under 100 more words than Penny Polendina, our winter maiden, has spoken in the entire series. The reddit user also found the characters with the top three word counts per volume, and Clover had the second most words spoken this volume, only beaten out by Ironwood. None of this seems fitting for an “unimportant” side character.

With that said, we’ll start by looking at episode 1 and Clover’s introduction to the show before we dive into the opening.

Our first shot of the Ace-Ops has Elm, Vine, Marrow, and Harriet looking off-frame at what we soon find out is Clover. From the very beginning, Clover is shown separated from his team as the leader, and most relevant member of the Ace-Ops. He’s established as the one they look to for orders.

When Clover finally comes into frame, we have not one,

not two,

but three shots of him before we see his face.

You don’t build up to a character reveal for someone considered irrelevant.

The rest of the scene sees Clover handling the relic and explaining why the Ace-Ops have been called to Mantle. Pietro asking what the Ace-Ops are doing down in Mantle suggests that this sort of work would likely be below their pay grade, that the Ace-Ops are expected to be undertaking more important missions. It should also be pointed out that Clover is the only Ace-Op who speaks in this entire episode. While he’s given more characterization in episode 2, Clover’s establishing character moment happens in episode 1. We’re shown that he’s the confident, collected leader of a group high up in Atlas’ military.

Even the end of the scene focuses on Clover. The Ace-Ops move in separate directions when they leave, but the scene follows Clover as he heads off.

The opening only serves to reinforce the idea that Clover is narratively important.

His badge is shown on-screen alone, before Clover’s hand appears and grabs it.

The screen then goes green except for Clover’s hand, and the following shot of all of the Ace-Ops establishes this green as Clover’s color.

Just as interesting is the proper shot of the Ace-Ops. Unlike episode 1, this shot opens with only Clover present at first.

He moves slightly before the other Ace-Ops fade in. It’s interesting to note that we’re shown Clover without the Ace-Ops, not the other way around. If CRWBY wanted to foreshadow episode 12, they could have just as easily had Clover appear after the other Ace-Ops. This would have shown the other Ace-Ops without Clover, instead of showing Clover on his own. The opening clearly singles Clover out, giving him a level of focus not shown with the other Ace-Ops.

This continues to be shown in episode 3, where Clover’s fighting abilities are shown off against the Geist.

We get a whole sequence of Clover jumping into the fight and taking action to separate the Geist from its body.

The sequence even warrants a shot of all four members of RWBY watching in awe as Kingfisher’s line wraps around the Geist’s mask.

When the Ace-Ops get their cut in, the shot starts with Clover before adding in all of the other Ace-Ops at once. For comparison, the RWBY shot (which happened only 10 seconds earlier in the episode) had Weiss and Yang appear on the outside before having Ruby and Blake appear in the middle. No team member appeared by themself, unlike with the Ace-Ops.

To say Clover was given the same significance as the other Ace-Ops is to ignore the repeated framing of Clover by himself instead of with the other Ace-Ops. He was always meant to stand out and be the Ace-Op we focused on.

Clover and the Military

Clover is also shown to operate on a totally different level of the military structure than the other Ace-Ops. While they were all trusted with Ironwood’s secrets, Clover is clearly higher up the chain of command.

He’s shown staying behind to discuss plans with Ironwood even when the rest of his team is dismissed,

he leads the briefings,

and he’s chosen to accompany Ironwood at the Schnee Dinner, alongside Winter and Penny.

Particularly interesting is a moment in Ep9. When Mantle is being swarmed with Grimm, Clover’s the first one to hear about it. Not Winter, not General Ironwood, Clover. Mantle’s at risk of collapse and Clover is being contacted before Ironwood is.

He’s then the one leading the charge to save Mantle, shown by him literally leading our heroes out of the dining room, with even Winter following him.

He’s also chosen to help fight Tyrian alongside Qrow and Robyn. Ironwood would want someone competent and trustworthy leading the charge against Tyrian, considering his current stress over Salem’s forces being present in his kingdom, and Clover fit that perfectly. 

Clover is one of the two most powerful people in the military outside of Ironwood, the general. Considering the strength of the Atlesian military, that’s by no means an insignificant role. He’s who soldiers are contacting in a time of crisis and he’s the one leading the charge to save Mantle. That doesn’t sound like the job of a “nobody.”

Clover and Qrow

I don’t think I need to explain why Qrow is an important character in the overall plot of RWBY. He’s one of Oz’s most trusted men and one of the strongest fighters in Remnant even without his magical abilities. He’s also someone who has been defined by his choice to push others away and be alone. Prior to volume 7, most of his interactions were with Ruby, his niece who has been shown to look up to him for most of her life, and many of his interactions outside of that weren’t exactly friendly. We’re shown that Qrow tends to be abrasive towards others, both because he doesn’t fully trust them and because he worries about putting them in danger due to his semblance. Ozpin even refers to it as a “fear of growing close to someone.” Yet suddenly, volume 7 starts and we see Qrow not only interacting with someone new, but also getting close to him in a way we haven’t seen with Qrow and any other characters. The volume after Qrow hit rock bottom, Qrow has his first healthy on-screen relationship outside of his nieces, with most of his screen time being dedicated to developing this relationship.

Volume 7 stressed Clover’s importance through his connection with Qrow even before they had a proper conversation. If you’ll remember from the start of this post, the first time we see Clover is from Qrow’s perspective.

Episode 3 is where RWBY begins to properly set up Clover as Qrow’s partner. We’re shown that the two of them have been paired off, working as a team of two while the other two teams consist of two Ace-Ops members and three to four younger huntsmen. Qrow’s first proper conversation with Clover has him commenting on how he’s not used to working with others again, as he’s been on his own for a while now, which Clover says is a shame. He then catches Qrow when he falls, showing that Qrow does benefit from having someone else alongside him in the field.

Lucky you, huh?

Qrow’s luck semblance has been special for a while now. It lacks the physical nature of most of the other semblances (ex: glyphs, speed, aura disruption) and hasn’t been explored much yet. And suddenly, here we have someone whose semblance is a perfect foil for Qrow’s. This could’ve easily been a point of contention, but we’re never shown anything suggesting that Qrow resents Clover for his semblance.

Clover’s semblance is especially important considering his line in the next episode: “Ace-Ops are hand-picked to perfectly complement each other.”

Elm can root herself in place, while Vine can propel himself using aura vines. Harriet has super speed, while Marrow can freeze enemies in their tracks. The Ace-Ops have opposite semblances and Clover has just worked with someone who has the opposite of his semblance.

It’s also worth noting that while Qrow is included in the frame while Clover says this, Qrow plays no role in this conversation. He’s just there to look at Clover while Clover talks about complementary partners.

They’re also shown to have complementary fighting styles, with Clover prioritizing disabling opponents over going in for the kill (also seen in the fight with the Geist, where he pulled it out of the ice so Harriet could kill it), while Qrow is the damage-dealer. Their fight against Tyrian has Clover twice wrap Kingfisher around Tyrian to let Qrow get a strong hit in.

Clover and Qrow are also complementary outside of their semblances and fighting styles, perfectly illustrated in the truck scene. Qrow is pessimistic and jaded, while Clover is optimistic and genuine. Clover helps convince Qrow to stop deflecting compliments and putting himself down and Qrow lets Clover have a chance to relax and make jokes instead of always acting the part of a cool, professional leader. It’s by far the healthiest relationship we’ve seen Qrow have with someone his own age. It also parallels Blake and Yang and Ren and Nora, two sets of partners (both in terms of battle and romance) made up of people with contrasting personalities.

Their eye colors are also the inverse of each other, a pattern seen again with Blake and Yang and Ren and Nora.

Throughout the volume, the focus on Qrow or Clover is often shown from behind the other’s shoulder, putting both of them in the frame. One example is in episode 7, in Ironwood’s office, where we’re shown Clover’s response to Ironwood from over Qrow’s shoulder, including how Clover briefly looks to Qrow during this. It’s also interesting to note that Clover’s response to Ironwood demanding the arrest of Robyn in this moment is to say “we’ll figure it out,” while looking at Qrow. A bit unusual for a military man who is supposed to always be following orders.

The end of episode 11 features the same framing, with Qrow being the focus this time. It’s important to remember why so many of us were caught off-guard by the start of episode 12 after seeing this moment; Clover had been separated from the other Ace-Ops to be placed with Qrow. It was a pattern we had seen all volume, emphasizing Clover’s relationship and partnership with Qrow over his other connections, so of course we all assumed he was set up to side with Qrow in this moment. Looking at what seemed to be foreshadowing regarding his role with the Ace-Ops and his partnership with Qrow, many of us thought he’d be leaving the Ace-Ops behind to join our main cast.

Orders vs Morality

Clover’s relationship with Qrow also played into the orders vs morality character arc he seemed set up for. Who better to convince a soldier to rebel than Qrow Branwen, notable hater of the Atlesian military?

Clover is never shown to be someone who follows orders without thinking for himself. In episode 2, he apologizes to team RWBY for arresting them, despite the charges against them having been accurate. He could’ve told them off for stealing a plane and using their weapons in a city without licenses, but he instead tried to make amends. In episode 5, he wishes Robyn luck in the election even after she almost had the Happy Huntresses attack the truck, only calling them off after Penny asked her to stop. There’s also his line in episode 7, which we’ve already discussed, alongside how he sees Robyn, who still has an arrest warrant out for her at this point, in episode 8 and makes no move to arrest her.

There’s also this look in episode 10, right after he receives orders to switch from fighting Grimm to joining Robyn in defeating Tyrian. We’re immediately shown him looking at the Grimm swarming the sky before telling Qrow that they need to hurry. He might be following orders and prioritizing Tyrian, but he’s also concerned about the attacking Grimm and wants to return to protecting civilians as soon as possible.

While episode 12 abandoned this set up, it would likely come back into play if Clover is revived in volume 8. In two volumes with a heavy focus on orders vs morality, RWBY has yet to use this arc and Clover remains the best candidate for it. The other Ace-Ops haven’t had enough focus to warrant a developed arc. Winter has been defined by her loyalty for Ironwood since volume 3. Penny was always loyal to the kingdom, not to Ironwood specifically. Her arc has been about making her own decisions, not about having to decide between following orders and doing the right thing. If RWBY wants to talk about trust and trusting love, having Clover come back and choose to trust Qrow, his partner, over following orders would be a perfect way to showcase these themes in a positive light.

Conclusion

In addition to being an important person in the Atlesian military structure, Clover was clearly framed in a way that told viewers to keep an eye on him. He spoke more than his four team members combined, he was shown to be the complementary partner to a character connected to RWBY’s main plot, and he was set up for an important character arc. Clover isn’t just another side character and if we’re lucky, we’ll get to see all of this setup pay off in volume 8 with a Clover revival.

[janedrakey131]

zukka hp au part 6

Thank you so much, everyone! I hope you continue to enjoy this au. I had a few minutes last night, so I wrote up a couple scenes for all of you. 

I haven’t written anything in so long though, so I’m sorry about the quality. Also, if someone is OOC, I’m sorry, I really tried. I need to rewatch atla at this rate. But feedback is always appreciated! I’m tagging anyone currently on the tag list, but if you missed it or just saw it, please let me know on the tag list post and I’ll add you in for future posts. (If you’d like me to reblog and tag you on this one, that’s also an option, but please comment or DM me so I know exactly who would like that.)

Also, if you couldn’t tell, I have no idea what I’m doing. So if I left someone off the tag list by accident or put it in a weird spot, I’m sorry! It’s possibly because I had to google how to make one yesterday XD But if I missed you, please tell me! I swear it wasn’t intentional. If you have any other suggestions or questions, let me know!

If you’d like to catch up:

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

If you would like to join the tag list

And with that, hope you enjoy :)

October 31 1981

There’s a suspicious bump.

The minister really does not like suspicious bumps.

But working in the Ministry of Magic for as long as he has, eventually he stopped jumping at every single one. He calls that progress. His wife says he’s finally lost whatever survival instincts he used to possess.

The minister doesn’t care overly much though. Today’s a happy day! The Avatar defeated Lord Sozin! He should be drafting congratulatory letters for the poor kid. Speaking of the child, he needs to find out where they are. And also who they are. There’s an astounding lack of information on this baby.

There’s a suspicious fwoosh and two masked wizards stand before him.

The minister is a calm and collected man. So, of course, he screams.

“None of that now,” says the older man with absolutely wild grey hair. “Stop screaming, Minister. We’re not here to hurt you.”

The minister wasn’t born yesterday, and his mother has reliably informed him that he isn’t a complete imbecile. He continues screaming.

The other intruder nudges the other and sighs. “You’re scaring him.”

“No, really?” Lunatic One groans. “I didn’t notice over all the screaming. Silencio. Honestly, he supposedly went toe to toe with Sozin in the Wizengamot for years. You’d think he’d have more guts than this.”

The nicer interloper (but still Lunatic Two) sighs again. “One who knows when to retreat will live longer than those who stay to fight past their abilities.”

“No, no, nope, we are not having your little philosophical riddles today. They just make my head hurt. You’re only here to make sure I don’t get bored and decide I want to wear his spine as a necklace.”

The minister’s eyes must pop out of his skull a bit.

“Just get to the point, my friend, so we can let this nice man enjoy his evening.”

“Nice man? He’s a politician. They’re all crackpots,” necklace man says.

The minister privately wonders why his friend bothers to sigh again when he clearly isn’t surprised.

“You’re a politician, too.”

“Yes,” the crazy one replies sagely. “I’m a crackpot. It means I wear the stench of insanity with pride and can identify it elsewhere.”

“Anyway,” the same man continues, but this time clearly directed towards the minister. “Simple request. Don’t look for the Avatar. No, no, no, I see you shaking your head at me. Just don’t look for them, or I’ll be back for my new bony accessories.”

His calmer friend looks the minister in the eyes. “We will keep the Avatar safe. But if Sozin’s followers find out where the child is, they’ll be dead before their next birthday. Do you understand, Minister?”

The minister likes to think he’s good at reading the room, so he nods a bit frantically. With them taking care of the child, that’s one less thing for him to worry about. And he gets to keep his spine. He’s rather partial to it now that he thinks about it. Anyway, it’s a win for everyone.

“Excellent.”

And then the two men are gone. 

Hurray for delegating responsibilities.

Today was enitrely too exciting for his delicate sensibilites. The minister pulls out the biggest bottle of Firewhiskey he owns and Floos home. Maybe he’ll get that takeout his wife likes today. She always deserves nice things, but especially today in exchange for all the blubbering he’s about to do.

oOo

“Did you really have to scare him so thoroughly, Headmaster?” Iroh asks once they’re safely back in the Headmaster’s office.

Headmaster Bumi throws his head back and laughs. “Fear is healthy! It keeps the blood pumping. The masks just added to the overall effect. And it’s not like I’d actually follow through. He just needs some character building. But at least that’s done. The kid’s with a friend of mine tonight. You’ll take the child to the orphanage tomorrow then?”

Iroh nods. “We’ll check in on him sometimes?”

“Of course,” Bumi says, looking scandalized. “What do you take me for? If he isn’t being treated well, prophecy or no prophecy, I’ll raise him myself. We don’t tolerate child abuse in this house.”

Iroh is extremely alarmed by the idea of Bumi raising any child, let alone the Avatar. But he is relieved they’re on the same page. At least now he doesn’t have to plan a kidnapping. Finally, after a long, but successful, night, Iroh leans back and enjoys his freshly brewed tea in peace.

Bumi’s chewing breaks the comfortable silence.

“Want a biscuit? They’re lemon poppy seed.”

Moderate peace then, but he thanks the Headmaster and enjoys his biscuit.

oOo

September 1, 1990

Sokka kind of assumes that he’ll be extremely bored during his first year of Hogwarts. He isn’t friends with anyone in his year yet, and Katara is a year younger.

Out of the limited number of other wizarding families he’s met, he hasn’t gotten along with many of the other kids. They were all either too dull, too old, or too annoying.

So Sokka has to admit he didn’t see this coming.

The boy in front of him is cool.

He’s already changed into pressed black Hogwarts robes with a red tie, so Sokka assumes the boy is maybe a second year Gryffindor. His black hair is neatly pulled out of his face, and there’s just a hint of the hair piece holding it up. Sokka’s busy staring at the rings on the boy’s fingers, a clear sign of an elemental magic user. But he’s too far away to figure out which element.

Sokka doesn’t really care though. People are people. It can’t hurt to ask if he can sit there.

So he screws up his courage and opens the door to the train compartment.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Sokka blinks. This boy isn’t very friendly, but he presses on.

“Everywhere else is full,” he says, lying through his teeth. “Mind if I join you?”

Five full compartments can be rounded up to all of them. Sokka’s a man of science. He would know.

The boy doesn’t answer for a beat, looking him up and down. Then he sneers. “Wolf’s tail, all that blue? You must be another Water Tribe peasant.”

Sokka can feel the blood rushing in his ears. Of all the compartments he had to walk into, it had to be a Fire Nation one.

“And you must be half troll with manners like that,” he bites out, before slamming the compartment door shut and walking away.

That was terrible. But it’s too late to go back and properly insult the other boy, so Sokka angrily walks away.

oOo

That’s all for now!

A few more things: 

I’m trying to make my life easier with dates for this au, so Halloween 1981 is when Sozin tried to kill the Avatar. Aang’s birthday is just going to be so late in the year that he got bumped to the year below. So we’re going based on Sokka’s years in school, first year starting in 1990. If something I’m doing doesn’t make sense or I’m completely contraindicating something, please ask! There’s a really good chance I’ve missed something. 

Also, any and all commentary or jokes made by characters about being insane and so on will not extend to actually poking fun at a character’s mental health. If they’ve got an issue that’s bothering them, that’s that. In this case, I think random people appearing in your office would scare you. And Bumi just sounds like someone who assumes everyone is as sane as he is. 

Lastly, say hello to one of the few straight characters we have. The minister was just a fun OC I made up, so I don’t have any corresponding atla character in mind for him. I was going to give him a name, but it just felt better having him be this random competent leader with a badass wife. 

If you’d like to catch up:

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

If you would like to join the tag list

@delievia @assyouwishh @aphrcditeee @theoneandonlyredrobin @dongdingheresthething @bring-back-wally @zuko-just-wants-his-honor @youcant-escapefate @iwillgodownwiththisship27 @animegeneral17 @uglybutuwu @cocoa-hooves @errvaaa

[fiercestcorpse]

lan zhan transmigrator au part 2

part 1 is here. i will most likely be putting this up on ao3 once i’ve settled on a title.

By the time he and Lan Xichen had made it down from the Cold Pond and into the buildings of Cloud Recesses, Lan Zhan had started to realise it was later in the day than he’d thought. He needed more information, but he wasn’t sure how to ask. Where had he been earlier that day, what had this body been doing? Lan Xichen had mentioned something about a fever. What was the story behind that? Lan Zhan didn’t recall anything about it being mentioned in the original novel, but maybe it had just escaped the protagonist’s notice.

“Brother,” he asked delicately. Addressing Lan Xichen by name seemed a bit too friendly for this reserved character. Lan Zhan certainly couldn’t call him by his personal name, because he didn’t know it. “How did you know to look for me in the Cold Pond?”

“One of the guards at the front gate came to tell me he’d seen you, and you were heading that way,” Lan Xichen replied. “He said you looked unwell. What were you doing leaving the Cloud Recesses, Wangji? You should have been resting.” A soulful expression of brotherly disappointment graced his perfectly proportioned face.

Of course Lan Zhan couldn’t answer his question! He had no memory of what this body had been doing before he’d occupied it. In the original, it had been implied that Lan Wangji had just returned from a night hunt, but Lan Zhan wasn’t sure if that was actually true or not, or how the original’s mysterious illness might have affected things.

However, this did give him one piece of unwelcome information: If Lan Wangji had come through the gate and re-entered the cloud recesses, then he had probably already encountered the Jiang disciples… and stopped them from entering!

There was not a lot Lan Zhan could do about this right now. Lan Xichen seemed to be leading him towards a specific building. From the sign above the door, it seemed to be the healing room, where sick or injured members of the Lan sect would go to be treated.

Lan Zhan had no idea that such a building had existed! It had never come up in the novel, though of course it made sense that it would be there. It would be difficult to go all the way down the mountain to the nearby Caiyi Town for a medical emergency, and the common people there might not know how to treat some of the problems a cultivator might encounter.

The room Lan Zhan was led into was elegant and spacious, with an astringent, herbal scent in the air. It had an overall light colour scheme-- white paper in the windows, white drapes dividing the room into sections-- but was furnished with contrasting dark wood. The source of the smell was a Lan disciple sitting at a low table, grinding some presumably medicinal herbs with a mortar and pestle.

Lan Xichen led Lan Zhan over to sit at a low bench, and hovered anxiously around him as an unfamiliar man came to attend to him. The man must have been some sort of doctor, but Lan Zhan had no way of knowing, as once again he had never been mentioned in the novel. The unknown doctor man pressed two fingers to Lan Zhan’s wrist to take his pulse. Lan Zhan gave what was surely a very OOC flinch at the feeling of foreign spiritual energy coming into contact with his own.

In his previous life, Lan Zhan had of course been aware of the idea that there was a network of qi flowing throughout his body. But having heard about a thing really couldn’t be compared to the experience of actually, viscerally feeling it! The tingling, flowing sensation felt somewhat similar to the time Lan Zhan had been in hospital when he was younger, and had been put on an intravenous drip. But this sensation wasn’t present in his veins, it was happening throughout an entirely new network that this body apparently had.

The doctor shared a brief look of concern with Lan Xichen. Lan Zhan frowned minutely at being glanced around as if he wasn’t there. “Is there a problem?” he asked.

“Lan-er-gongzi has had a minor qi deviation,” the doctor said, addressing Lan Xichen. “But he seems to have somehow brought his own meridians back into the proper alignment.”

A qi deviation! In the setting of Proud Immortal Founder of the Demon Way, that was serious! It wasn’t something that could happen due to just a minor issue, it was a symptom of something being very badly wrong with a person’s cultivation. And qi deviations were often fatal.

Now that he was aware of their presence, Lan Zhan noticed that this body’s meridians felt somewhat fragile, almost bruised. He didn’t really have anything to compare it to, but surely they weren’t supposed to feel like that.

“You will have to take extra time each morning to meditate and circulate your qi until you are fully recovered,” said the doctor. “It would also be beneficial for us to check up on you in the future, and determine if there is some imbalance or blockage that could cause another qi deviation.”

“Of course, we will make sure to do that,” said Lan Xichen. He was now looking extremely pale and worried. “Wangji, it seems like it really was the right thing to do, to go meditate in the Cold Pond,” he added. “You may have averted a catastrophe.”

Although he maintained a stoic expression, internally Lan Zhan shuddered to hear this. Averted a catastrophe? More likely, the feverish Lan Wangji had overtaxed himself, and caused his own qi deviation in the first place! And now… now he was gone, and Lan Zhan was occupying his body. Lan Zhan didn’t know if the qi deviation had been deadly, or if it had simply caused enough of a weakness for something to force Lan Wangji’s soul out of its rightful position, and replaced it with that of a clueless transmigrator. Either way, the original inhabitant was gone.

Still, Lan Zhan refused to feel bad about it. Lan Wangji was a fictional character, why should Lan Zhan be upset if he died? He was going to die anyway, due to his own bad decisions. It had simply happened a little sooner. Now that Lan Zhan was in his place, he’d take care to do a better job of it.

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said to the doctor. That wasn’t out of character, right? Lan Wangji was always polite to people in positions of power or influence. “I think I will go and meditate now.” And change out of this damp clothing. He rose from the bench, ignoring Lan Xichen’s anxious gaze, and prayed he could find the disciple dormitories without getting too obviously lost.

--

As the head disciple, and son of the clan leader, it made sense that Lan Wangji’s dormitory was one of the biggest, set slightly apart from the rest. Lan Xichen accompanied him there, and Lan Zhan was able to walk behind him without making it look too obviously like he was following him. Lan Xichen kept shooting little glances at him back over his shoulder, like he was afraid Lan Zhan was going to fall over and start gushing blood from his face or something.

“Wangji,” said Lan Xichen. “I know you’ve volunteered to patrol Cloud Recesses tonight, but I think you should reconsider. You should stay behind and rest.”

Lan Zhan was about to agree, when he was interrupted by a ding. [Lan Wangji patrolling Cloud Recesses is an important plot point for establishing his rivalry with the protagonist! If this plot point is missed, 200 B Points will be deducted!]

… Tell me again, how many B Points did I start with? Lan Zhan asked the system.

[You were awarded 100 complimentary B Points at the start of your user experience! As you have done basically nothing so far except follow the character Lan Xichen around, your number remains the same!]

And if I lose more B Points than what I have…

[Your account will be terminated, and you will be deported back to your original world.]

Back to my original world, where I’m dead. Great. So there was no chance of skipping this encounter with the protagonist, then. 

“I will consider it,” Lan Zhan told Lan Xichen, meaning I am absolutely still going on patrol tonight, I haven’t got any choice.

But just because he still had to show up for the encounter, didn’t mean Lan Zhan had to act the same way. In the novel, Lan Wangji had scolded the protagonist for breaking curfew and drinking. He’d drawn his sword on him, broken the protagonist’s bottle of Emperor’s Smile, and reported his rule breaking to Master Lan Qiren. There was definitely some sort of compromise Lan Zhan could make, where he could still be in character but maybe let the protagonist off with a lighter punishment.

This reminded Lan Zhan of something else important. Before entering his dormitory room, Lan Zhan turned back towards Lan Xichen. “If you have the opportunity, you should send somebody to the main gate. The Jiang disciples misplaced their invitation.”

There! That shouldn’t be out of character, right? He’d just ratted the Jiangs out to an authority over their missing invitation. Knowing Lan Xichen, he would ensure the Jiang disciples were brought inside regardless, which was what Lan Zhan wanted, but he hadn’t actually asked Lan Xichen to do that.

[... 5 B Points deducted for clumsy loophole exploitation] said the System. Its mechanical voice sounded somehow exasperated. Well. That wasn’t too harsh a penalty.

“Of course! I’ll have it seen to,” said Lan Xichen. “In the meantime, take care of yourself.” Lan Xichen beamed at Lan Zhan, before leaving him in peace.

As Lan Zhan pushed open the door to the dormitory, the jade token attached to his belt gave a little flare of spiritual energy. Was it like some sort of keycard? Only people with the right level of permission could get into certain buildings in the Cloud Recesses? That was another element of worldbuilding that wasn’t in the novel! He wondered if there were any rooms he couldn’t enter, and what would happen if he tried.

Lan Wangji’s dormitory honestly looked quite acceptable, by Lan Zhan’s standards. It was almost uncomfortably sparse and tidy, much like Lan Zhan’s old bedroom had been. There were many books, carefully lined up on the shelves, and neatly stacked writing materials on a table, beside a cloth-covered guqin. The only hint of individuality was a tiny vase sitting by a window, containing a single purple-blue gentian flower.

Who could have guessed, one-dimensional villain Lan Wangji apparently liked flowers? Or maybe it had been put there by someone else. Soft-hearted Lan Xichen seemed like a likely culprit. Lan Zhan supposed it was up to him now, to decide for himself whether Lan Wangji liked flowers or not.

Ding! [Now you’re getting it! Good luck on your mission of adding sympathetic nuance to this scum villain, and improving this story’s many failings!]

Let’s not go too far. Lan Zhan wasn’t interested in being sympathetic, much less in improving the story now that he was living it rather than reading it. He just wanted to stay out of the protagonist’s way, thereby avoiding his own death. If he could read some interesting books and learn how to cultivate, maybe continue improving his guqin playing, that would be enough for him.

Of more immediate interest was the small mirror attached to one wall. On a shelf underneath it was a hairbrush, and a small jar of some sort. Lan Zhan immediately headed over there, to get a look at his new face.

It was… actually quite handsome! Just as expected in a cultivation setting. Lan Wangji had smooth skin, attractive features, and dark, piercing eyes. But wasn’t he a little bit too good looking? Pathetic minor villains shouldn’t be overly handsome, they would outshine the protagonist.

And anyway, weren’t he and Lan Xichen supposed to look alike? They had a somewhat similar bearing, that of an elegant and refined young master, although Lan Xichen had a friendlier look about him. But where Lan Xichen had broader shoulders and a square jaw, Lan Zhan’s new face was somewhat narrower and pointier. Still, he couldn’t complain. He thought this face rather suited him.

He forced a smile at the mirror, just to see what it would look like, then twisted his face up in a look of sadness and regret.

“Wei-gongzi, I apologise for my earlier actions,” he tried. That neither looked nor sounded appropriate for this character. And wasn’t it too dishonest to apologise for something he hadn’t even done? From the protagonist’s perspective he would still be that person who refused them entry, but to Lan Zhan, it didn’t feel right. Anyway, hadn’t he thought to himself that if he’d been in that position, he’d have done the same? If you carelessly leave behind your possessions, there should be consequences.

With or without the OOC function enabled, I can’t just go around lying about things. I don’t want to give the protagonist cause to kill me, but I don’t want to shamelessly pander to him either.

Having made up his mind on this matter, Lan Zhan got changed into another, nearly identical set of white-and-pale-blue robes. He also found his sword, which was a relief, as he’d been somewhat concerned he might have dropped it in the Cold Pond.

It wasn’t quite dark yet, but Lan Zhan didn’t want to miss the protagonist’s arrival. Not to mention, he thought he might have to search around to find the location where they would meet. So with this in mind, he set off early to find the perfect rooftop.

--

After spending a little while strolling through Cloud Recesses at a measured and dignified pace, Lan Zhan thought of a problem. He knew from the description in Proud Immortal Founder of the Demon Way that Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian would confront each other on the roof of an outlying building. But he wasn’t actually sure how to get up on the roof in the first place. In cultivation settings, characters seemed to jump great heights and fly through the air like it was nothing. But Lan Zhan wasn’t actually a cultivator, he was only pretending to be one! He had no idea how to do any of that!

Could he just find a likely looking spot, and clamber up onto the roof the regular way? He might have to. And what would happen when it came time for him to draw his sword on the protagonist? Lan Wangji had been quite athletic in his previous life, but none of the sports he’d ever done involved swordfighting.

Forget deliberately breaking character, he might accidentally reveal himself as a fake whether he wanted to or not!

Lan Zhan frowned, and glanced around. He was in a quiet, secluded courtyard, and there was no one else out here. So no one would see him if he just…

He gave a little jump in place, and immediately felt rather foolish. Nobody is watching! He reminded himself. Your life might depend on this!

He tried again, this time reaching for the places where he’d felt that weird, tingly sensation when the doctor had been probing his spiritual pathways. There were several major channels of them, flowing throughout his limbs, forming little whirlpools of energy at certain points, and all flowing towards-- or possibly out from?-- some sort of central point deep within his body. If he jumped this time, while using this pool of energy to give himself a little push…

Lan Zhan went rocketing up into the cool night air. High above the rooftops, he felt his robes flare out dramatically around him as he hung there for a second, and then began to plummet back to earth. He had just enough time for a brief flare of wordless panic, before he grasped wildly for his qi again and somehow managed to slow his fall.

Hm. Maybe a bit more gently. This time, the qi-assisted boost he gave himself was just enough to get him to roof height, and then hover there momentarily, before he allowed himself to descend back to the ground.

Lan Zhan felt a quiet burst of delight. He was actually doing it, he was cultivating! It had felt quite natural to do it, almost instinctive, like his body had built up quite a respectable level of cultivation, and was used to reaching for it regularly. He was sure if he’d had to start from scratch, it would have been a lot harder, but this body already had a fully formed golden core and everything!

He remembered the assertion in Proud Immortal Founder of the Demon Way, that Lan Wangji had been jealous of the protagonist’s prodigious cultivation, and had wanted to sabotage him. But to Lan Zhan, that seemed ridiculous. As a newcomer to this world, there was no way he could manage to be the strongest or most talented cultivator, not without some practice. But to be able to cultivate at all was incredible.

In his previous life, Lan Zhan couldn’t precisely be called competitive. But rather, he’d known what he was good at, and strived to become even better. He didn’t worry about what other people were doing, the only standards that mattered were his own, and those of his uncle. In this life, he thought it would be much the same. He wanted to be good at cultivation, because it seemed like a worthwhile thing to work towards. But there was no point in trying to impede other people’s progress simply to make himself look better. In the end, he didn’t care how he looked to other people. He’d still know whether he was actually succeeding or not.

With this in mind, Lan Zhan practiced a few more jumps in the privacy of the empty courtyard. He managed to do some flips in mid-air, and didn’t even seem to get dizzy from it. Then he decided it was probably time to be moving on. It was nearly fully dark, and he didn’t want to be late for his meeting with the protagonist.

--

With the System’s help, Lan Zhan soon found the spot he needed to be in. There was a sort of upper balcony on one building, which gave a pretty good view out over the Cloud Recesses. Given that the Lan sect were all very well-behaved and went to bed early, and there were supposed to be wards preventing people from entering the area outside of curfew, Lan Zhan was not entirely sure what kind of wrongdoing he was expected to find on his patrol. If he didn’t already know the protagonist was going to attempt to sneak in after hours, he was sure he’d probably find the whole exercise pretty pointless. As it was, he simply stood on the balcony for a while, and watched clouds pass over the face of the moon. He also took a moment to smooth down his hair after his earlier acrobatics, and make sure his forehead ribbon was on straight.

He was alerted to the protagonist’s presence by the sound of a grunt as someone hoisted their body over the ridge of a roof, then the gentle clinking of ceramic jars, and a muffled giggle.

And there… there was the protagonist, Wei Wuxian. Right there in the flesh. He wasn’t looking in Lan Zhan’s direction, but rather gazing out over the courtyard below. He was maybe a little shorter than Lan Zhan had pictured him, and he looked very young, but his mischievous expression was exactly as expected.

Of course he looks young, he’s still a teenager like me at this point, thought Lan Zhan. Wait, is he even old enough to be buying alcohol? Lan Zhan knew some kids whose parents were fine with them drinking, but his uncle would have grounded him until he was thirty for trying to sneak alcohol into the house. Much less into somebody else’s house! That was just rude.

The protagonist jumped in surprise when he spotted Lan Zhan’s impassive figure on the balcony. “What a coincidence! We meet again!”

Lan Zhan was in no way prepared to actually be spoken to by the protagonist, and simply stared at him.

“Lan-er-gongzi, you’re out at this hour!” Wei Wuxian tried again. “Are you going to admire the moon?”

As a matter of fact, he had been doing exactly that, but he couldn’t just say that. He would be docked some points for breaking character for sure.

“Lan-er-gongzi,” said the protagonist, persistent in the face of adversity, “I came for my shijie. Oh! I found the invitation! It’s right here, I’ll show you.” He began to rummage inside his robes, presumably for said invitation. This confirmed Lan Zhan’s earlier suspicions that he had indeed met with the Jiang disciples earlier.

“Breaking through the wards is a violation of the Lan clan’s principles,” he said. He had to say something, and this was roughly what he remembered the rules-obsessed Lan Wangji having said. Really, that was a pretty mild rebuke, considering that Wei Wuxian had essentially just done the magical equivalent of throwing a rock through the Lan sect’s window. “Those who come at night should not be allowed in until the morning. Two violations of the Lan Clan’s principles. Unauthorised carrying of liquor. Three violations of the Lan Clan’s principles.”

The protagonist did not look thrilled by this stony reception. “Lan-er-gongzi, I am new to the Gusu Lan Clan, and not familiar with the rules. But I swear, these things won’t happen again!” As he said this, he held up three fingers in an earnest salute. Of course, having read the original novel, Lan Zhan knew he absolutely didn’t mean it. “Also, I was just in a hurry to find Jiang Cheng and shijie.” A calculating look stole over his face. “How about this? Just let me in for a glimpse. Just one glimpse!”

Seeming to consider the matter settled, the protagonist got to his feet. Acting purely on instinct, Lan Zhan vaulted over the edge of the balcony, and thrust his sword out to block the protagonist’s path. It slid a short way out of the scabbard, revealing a length of shining blade. The protagonist gave a nervous laugh.

“Well then, the Emperor’s Smile, I will spare you one pot,” he said, holding up one of the ceramic jars that were looped over the end of his sword. “Forget about this, deal?”

[That’s bribery!] the System sang out helpfully. [That is also a violation of the Lan clan’s rules!]

This actually… genuinely annoyed Lan Zhan! He may not have agreed with all of the original Lan Wangji’s actions or motivations, but the rules were the rules, and Wei Wuxian had broken them. But instead of apologising for his ignorance, he’d assumed Lan Zhan was so weak willed and dishonourable that he could be persuaded to reverse his decision with a jar of alcohol! “Attempting to bribe a law enforcer,” Lan Zhan snapped. “Doubly guilty.” Law enforcer, maybe he was taking himself a bit too seriously, but breaking the rules was a pretty serious matter.

“Lan-er-gongzi, are you seriously so inflexible?” the protagonist complained. “When we were at the gate, you put the silence spell on me for no reason! You are somehow responsible for that case, right?” saying this, he pushed Lan Zhan’s sword back into its scabbard, and attempted to leave again.

Lan Zhan didn’t need the System to tell him that he could not let the protagonist just run off like that. He thrust out his sword in much the same way as before-- and then found himself twisting back from Wei Wuxian’s block, and coming around for another strike. Before Lan Zhan could really comprehend what was happening, they were fighting, actually fighting! Wei Wuxian was blocking and ducking under his slashes, then tumbling up and out of the way.

Lan Zhan remembered how to jump, of course. And he remembered how to use his qi to keep that momentum up, as he soared through the air after Wei Wuxian’s graceful, fleeing figure. They faced each other from opposite sides of the roof, as Wei Wuxian eyed him consideringly. Lan Zhan couldn’t help but wonder what he saw.

“I’m occupied today. Excuse me,” the protagonist said. His perfect veneer of audacity hadn’t been so much as chipped by their fight. He turned and fled once more, and once more Lan Zhan gave chase. They clashed again, and this time Lan Zhan actually managed to sever the cord connecting the two jars of Emperor’s Smile. The protagonist dived off the roof to catch them, but he missed one, and it shattered on the white gravel path below.

“Lan Wangji!” the protagonist called out, all pretense at politeness abandoned. “Pay for my Emperor’s Smile!”

Lan Zhan leapt down from the roof after him. He was glad now he’d gotten in a bit of practice earlier, as he now managed to make a perfectly elegant landing. Composing his face into a stern glare, he stared the protagonist down. As he did so, he noticed something he hadn’t seen earlier.

“Turn around,” he ordered.

“Ah? What’s this?” said Wei Wuxian, walking over to study it more closely.

It was a large block of stone, with column upon column of writing carved into it. These were of course the famous rules of the Gusu Lan sect. Lan Zhan realised he’d better take a look over them himself, at some point, if he was going to be trying to enforce them.

“The principles of the Gusu Lan Clan,” Lan Zhan answered.

The protagonist was astonished. “This many?” he said, sounding horrified. He clutched his remaining jar of Emperor’s Smile protectively to his chest.

“Put the alcohol down,” said Lan Zhan. “Since you came for the lecture, let’s count how many principles you have violated tonight.” He paused. He knew there were at least four by now. Wasn’t there some rule about not fighting, too? But that probably didn’t count, since Lan Zhan had actually started the fight! Oh no, had he just added “hypocrite” to the list of scum villain Lan Wangji’s numerous misdeeds?

The protagonist shook his head and scoffed. “Well, I’m so fortunate that I wasn’t born into the stiff and horrible Gusu Lan Clan.” With that, he took the opportunity to run off again, leaping over to a nearby roof. He then sat down in a most inelegant manner. “Liquor is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses. Well, I can stay outside and sit here to drink! This won’t count, right?” Saying this, he unstoppered his jar, and tipped a stream of clear, fragrant liquor into his mouth.

Lan Zhan was infuriated. Now he knew how the System had felt earlier, when he’d tried to argue technicalities with it! The protagonist’s behaviour had seemed amusing as a reader, but from this position, Lan Zhan was beginning to find him impossibly smug and arrogant! Who would make such a big deal about not being permitted to drink alcohol? Just apologise and follow the rules next time!

“So disobedient!” Lan Zhan snapped. He felt his hand, held behind his back, clench into a fist.

“The female cultivators in every clan are all admiring the famous Lan-er-gongzi!” the protagonist called down from the roof. The return to Lan Zhan’s title was clearly not meant to be a gesture of respect. “What a pity!”

“A pity?” Lan Zhan found himself baffled by these words, and also distracted by a single drop of Emperor’s Smile that had beaded on Wei Wuxian’s chin. What on earth did he mean, about the female cultivators admiring Lan Wangji? That hadn’t been in the original novel!

Wei Wuxian grinned. “What a pity that they don’t know the person they are admiring is relentless, unreasonable, and rigid!” 

Lan Zhan glared. Well, he wasn’t wrong, Lan Wangji certainly was all those things. And maybe Lan Zhan was too! But that was better than being a shameless, disrespectful, irresponsible rule breaker, who tipped illicit alcohol all over his chin!

Ding! went the System. [Would you like to spend 50 B Points to unlock the Lan sect special ability, “Silencing Spell”?]

Yes! Anything to shut this smug protagonist up! Lan Zhan was accepting the offer before he’d even thought it through, or considered the fact that the cost was over half his remaining B Points.

“But it doesn’t matter,” Wei Wuxian continued, like he was giving a speech to a greater audience than just one mad and frustrated teenager glaring up at him from the ground. “When I go back to Yunmeng, I’m going to--”

His words were suddenly cut off, and his lips appeared inseparably sealed together! Lan Zhan had cast the silencing spell!

Wei Wuxian leapt back down from the roof, and got up in Lan Zhan’s personal space. He was able to make inarticulate noises of protest, though it appeared somewhat painful to do so, but he could neither continue with his speech nor drink any more of his Emperor’s Smile.

Lan Zhan had won. This fact was suddenly more important to him than the story, or his original plan not to get on the protagonist’s bad side. He’d made his point, and now he was going to take Wei Wuxian to receive the proper punishment.

[Congratulations! Achievement “Youthful Rivalry” unlocked! 200 B Points awarded!]

“Let’s go,” Lan Zhan said, turning on his heel to walk off. The protagonist, inexplicably, followed him.