#and i just couldn’t stop looking at that beautiful schnoz . . . | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nataliedanovelist · 4 years

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GF - All Star

Summary: A deep, dark secret about Ford is slowly revealed to his family, and he’s not ready.

For Skaleigh, wherever she may be...

~~~~~~~~~~

A few days after Weirdmegeddon, Ford was exiting the basement, taking a break from cleaning it out today. Stan had been recovering from his memory loss beautifully and so Ford decided to get a certain chore done on this rainy day. He could hear something, however, that made him freeze as a shiver ran down his spine and his race turned as red as his sweater.

“... start coming and they don't stop coming,

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.

Didn't make sense not to live for fun.

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.”

Recognizing who’s voice that was, Ford began to relax. The sweet smell of vanilla and sugar graced his schnoz and he followed the music to the kitchen. There, Mabel was in her little pink apron over her sprinkle-sweater, dancing around the kitchen as she mixed icing with food coloring in little bowls. The radio was playing on the kitchen table, a little dirty with flour, and the whole kitchen was a mess, but Ford couldn't help but smile at his beautiful niece as her hair flew everywhere as she danced and sang her heart out. When the chorus came, she banged her head and put the bowl of light-blue icing on the counter to dance more freely.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold!

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

At the words “shooting stars”, Mabel attempted a flip and fell on her face, just like she did at the dance party at the beginning of summer. Ford winced and made a move towards her, slightly emerging from his hiding spot at the doorway, but stopped when Mabel sprung up, unhurt, and declared to herself and the kitchen, “I’m okay!” Her eyes landed on her uncle and she grinned. “Grunkle Ford! Whatcha doin’?”

“I thought I would take a break from cleaning.” Ford explained casually with a shrug while Mabel turned down the radio a little so they could talk better. “Having fun?”

“Yeah!” Mabel pointed to the twelve cupcakes that were cooling on the stove and said, “I’m making everyone a snack. Want one?”

“I would love one, my dear. Thank you.”

“Ah, ah.” Mabel wiggled a finger at him. “You have to do something for it, first.”

Ford raised an eyebrow at her and held his cleft chin. “Oh?”

Mabel opened the drawer she knew Ford kept his apron in and pulled out his old My Other Oven is a Bunsen apron. “You have to decorate the cupcakes with me.”

Ford grinned and happily accepted the protective clothing against stains. “Well, I suppose it’s only fair that I help you if I’m going to have one. Do we have to share with Stanley and Dipper?”

“Nope!” Mabel giggled. “We can eat them all ourselves! Six each!”

Ford laughed alongside her and she gave him a small bowl of white icing to color however he wanted. He carefully added a few drops of green, seeing how Mabel had already made blue and red and was working on yellow, and she began to dance a little again and she jumped into song.

“Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas?

I need to get myself away from this place.

I said ‘Yep what a concept,

I could use a little fuel myself,

And we could all use a little change.’”

Ford chuckled, mixing the icing, and he couldn’t help himself; he made himself jump in.

“Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming,

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.

Didn't make sense not to live for fun.

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.”

Mabel gasped in shock for a number of reasons. A) She had never heard Grunkle Ford sing before. 2) She didn’t think he would know this song, let alone the words. And D) His voice was actually very pretty. Mabel grinned and they happily sang together until the song changed to a commercial for Cam’s Camshafts and they began to decorate the cupcakes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stan yawned as he stretched his tired limbs. He had been sitting out on the deck of the Stan O’ War II, watching the sun set, and he was now in a sleepy trance. Time to put on some warm, fuzzy pajamas and turn on the little TV in the kitchen.

Stan went into his shared bedroom and stopped when he accidentally walked in on Ford in a towel, his back to the entrance and unaware of the intruder as he dug through his drawer for new clothes. Stan was careful to be quiet and give his jumpy brother some space, planning on leaving him alone, but something caught his eye.

During the Stanswitch, Ford insisted on Stan turning away, uncomfortable with what his twin might see. Despite Stan’s insistence that it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before, Ford practically begged him not to look, so Stan went along with it until he had shed his suit, leaving only his dark pants and undershirt, and he turned to switch clothes, but he found Ford bent over, his back littered with dozens of ugly cars, trophies for surviving out in the Multiverse for thirty years. Stan had thought that this was the reason for Ford’s modesty and thick sweaters (and okay, sure, the guy had always been a little chilly), but maybe there was another reason.

Stan grinned. No. Way. He slipped away, deciding he would enjoy making fun of Ford when he would least expect it, and he immediately left for the kitchen silently and quickly texted Dipper and Mabel.

A few weeks past since Stan knew Ford’s secret and he had pocketed it away as his “secret weapon”; of course, Dipper and Mabel knew and Stan wished he could have seen the looks on their faces or heard them laugh, but oh well. The kids swore to keep it between the two of them, but Stan wouldn’t be surprised if all of Gravity Falls kenw at this point. Something to look forward to this summer.

Stan had half-forgotten about Ford’s secret until they were at a small shop in Liverpool, England and something jogged the old conman’s memory. A CD was sitting in a 50% off bucket and Stan could have sworn a beam of light from Heaven was shining on the little box. Stan snatched it and hid it in his jacket for later.

The next day Stan couldn’t wait any longer. They were gently coasting on the Irish Sea, the spring weather being warm and calm and pleasant. Ford was out on the deck, reading a map, and Stan sat their radio down, the disc already in place. “Hey Sixer,” It took everything in Stan to hide his snicker. “Mind if I play some music?”

Ford hardly looked up from the map. “Huh? Oh sure, Stanley. Go ahead.”

With the biggest grin Stan had probably ever made in his life, he pressed play.

SomeBODY once told me the world is gonna roll me,

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Ford’s polydactyl hands clenched the map so tightly it nearly destroyed the papered material. He lowered it as his face blushed so furiously it matched his maroon sweater perfectly. Sweat was dripping from his forehead profoundly, his eyebrows were nearly hidden in his fluffy hair, they were so high, and his eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

Stan snorted, trying to contain his laughter just a little bit longer. “You like this song, don't you? Oh man, here comes my FAVORITE part!” And to make sure he could embarrass his brother as much as he could, Stan sang along.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold! (I like gold.)

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

And then Stan couldn’t hold it any longer. He busted into a huge fit of laughter, holding his ribs and wheezing as Ford sheepishly lowered his head into the map and hid in shame. When the song was over and Stan was slowing down in his laughing, Ford snapped and spun around, crumpling the map down and scowling.

“How did you find out?!” He demanded, still incredibly red in the face, even his ears were pink.

“I’m your twin, Genius,” Stan huffed, whipping his eyes dry of tears. “I’m bound to notice a couple of things when stuck on a boat with you. I gotta ask, though, why in Moses’ name…”

“It wasn’t intentional, I can assure you of that.” Ford said to try to preserve his dignity. “I had fought a battle alongside a tribe of octopus-armed warrior piglets since they shared their food and water with me. They were quite friendly, unlike the gang of penguin-finned lizards we encountered. It is customary for their tribe to have a grand party after a battle is won in which they all get tattoos. I had misjudged how… erm, intoxicated their drinks would make me, and when it was my turn to get a tattoo of my choosing, I had a certain song stuck in my head and sung it out loud, so the artist delivered my drunken request."

Stan burst into another fit of laughter, one that oddly sounded friendlier than the last one. Like, Ford was supposed to laugh with him. Ford, despite still being very red and embarrassed, couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, man! That’s gotta be your best story from out in the Multiverse yet!”

Ford saw that as a challenge and sat in one of the chairs to get comfortable. “I can think of at least five better stories.”

Stan quickly sat in the other chair like an excited child for a new movie and Ford dove into telling of some of the more fun-filled adventures he had experienced.

~~~~~~~~~~

Summer of 2014 was upon them and the Pines couldn’t be happier. The kids were joyous to be where they felt at home, and even though the old sailors were living the dream, it would be nice to take a three-month break and see their favorite pair of twins.

About two weeks after an emotional reunion, the kids were gently reminded of something they had on their Summer bucket-list.

Much like Stan, they planned their little attack carefully so they may truly enjoy their uncle’s misery. The gift shop was open, but slow. Wendy was behind the counter, Soos was reading a comic book and sitting on a closed barrel, and Dipper and Mabel were grinning like crazy on the porch, the screen door wide open. Mabel popped the CD in the radio and turned up the volume.

SomeBODY once told me the world is gonna roll me,

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.

She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Mabel immediately jumped into rap-like singing, dancing around the porch. Dipper chuckled, hands in his pocket and tapping his foot, but Soos laughed, put down the comic, and took Mabel’s hands to dance. They giggled as they tried to sing along, and at the chorus they stopped dancing so they could sing the lyrics as loud as they could.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold!

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

Wendy was banging her head, red hair flying everywhere. Stan suddenly showed up in his boxers and slippers, grinning, and said over the music, “I was awoken by the sound of mockery through pop music! I want in!” He bumped his hips against Dipper to make him move and he danced obnoxiously, making his nephew laugh and dance a little more enthusiastically.

A little later, at the halfway point of the song, Ford stood at the screen door with a puzzled look. “What’s going on…?”

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold! (I like gold.)

Only shooting stars…”

Ford looked like he had a sunburn on his entire face. He swallowed, making his Adam’s Apple bobble, and his jaw was tight. Stan laughed at his face and hollered, “THERE’S the man of the hour!”

“Come on, Stan Two, you love this song, right?” Wendy teased.

“Oh no…”

“C’mon, Dr. Pines, wanna dance?” Soos asked, still dancing with Mabel.

“Oh, here comes my favorite part…” Mabel chimed in.

“Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid!

And all that glitters is gold!

Only shooting stars break the mold.”

Ford slammed the door shut. The five were as still as statues, wincing a little. “Did we take it too far?” Dipper asked.

“Ah, let the big baby be mad for a minute if he wants to.” Stan said, ruffing up his hat. “I’ll go talk to him in a minute…”

But then the door was kicked open by Ford’s boot and his friends and family were startled to find him heavily armed with water guns. “ONLY SHOOTING STARS BREAK THE MOLD!” He sang, and then shot everyone with water.

Everyone broke into hefty laughter and ran for it. The old scientist was hot on their tails, but Mabel managed to slip away to the closet filled with emergency water-guns and balloons. She hurried back to the battle and tossed everyone some weapons, and soon it was a confused mess of soaked clothes, loud laughter, and exploding balloons.

At one point during the fun fight, he paused to take off his glasses and wipe the water from them. Mabel accidentally bumped into his leg and smiled sheepishly at him, expecting to be sprayed without mercy, but Ford hoisted her up in his shoulders and they worked together. Up three feet higher than she was used to being, Mabel could see things she normally couldn’t. Like a certain tattoo barely poking out of the turtleneck, only visible because Mabel’s weight was pulling the sweater down enough.

She smiled at it, finding it very pretty, and in the midst of the chaos, considered the idea of one day getting one herself.

#GF #gravity falls #ford pines #stan pines #Mabel and Ford bonding #mabel pines #dipper pines #wendy corduroy #soos ramirez #fanfiction #all star #smash mouth #tattoos #legit i laughed for 3 days straight when I found out #now i cant listen to the song without thinking about it #a huge thanks to skaleigh for inpsiring me and making me laugh #love you!#hope you're doing okay

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migleefulmoments · 5 years

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Debunking

We’ve talked about this scene before- the Kurt rant given by Santana. Naya just said she was uncomfortable and she mentioned that Chris was upset. sugdendingle just posted that Chris “liked” her Tweet where she called out how much she didn’t like it. She added a second comment that includes:

sugdendingle

None of the other cast were personally attacked in the ways Chris was and to the extent Chris was. I don’t know what Ryan Murphy’s issues were with Chris but he clearly he had some....I’m talking about real life here. About how Ryan Murphy and his writers used the character of Kurt to personally attack Chris Colfer on a regular basis and it’s clear Chris agrees to some extent as he liked my tweet.

That scene in season six was one of the worst examples but hardly the only one. Chris not being traditionally masculine was like a running joke on that show. As was remarks about his voice, his appearance, his sexuality, how he danced, etc. Yes other characters faced insults but it never got as personal as it did with Chris and it wasn’t as extensive either. The insults to Kurt went on right to the end of the show you can’t say the same for the other characters. It’s just really sad that Chris had to endure a work enivorment like this especially considering he was bullied when he was younger.

Abby adds:

My opinion. The poor treatment stems from extreme jealousy. For many, many reasons. And of course c’s refusal to do as he’s told.(X)

Debunk #1

None of the other cast were personally attacked in the ways Chris was and to the extent Chris was. Was Chris harassed by the writers “more than any other character”? I spent a few minutes looking at Santana’s rants-and Santana seems to be the ranter on Glee. I don’t believe her rants about Chris’s failings is any worse than she she said about Finn’s weight. Rachel or really Lea’s nose being too big had an entire episode-and several comments through the years- and Kurt staged a flashmob at the mall to talk her out of plastic surgery. Sam was called Trouty Mouth as a running joke including a song “Trouty Mouth” sang by Santana.

“Every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression or to moisten a enormous stamp for a lazy giant you take on step closer to everyone seeing that you’re actually a dork” (X)

“I just heard the news that Trouty Mouth was back in town. I’ve been keeping a notebook, just in case this day ever came. Welcome back, Lisa Rinna. I’ve missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them in your mouth and skipped town. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn’t find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you’ve been working as a baby polisher where young mothers place their infants’ heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you’re back. I haven’t seen a smile that big since the acclamation abominable snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana” (X)

This gets loooonnnngggg so under a cut

This one she also hit at Tina’s Asian eyes and Rachels nose- though I didn’t include that part.

Santana: Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things we don't want to change about ourselves? I'm sure that Sam has been at the doctor's office and riffled through pamphlets on mouth reductions. I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyway. And I'm definitely sure Tina has looked into eye de-slanting. Tina: That's extraordinarily racist. Santana: Just keeping it real. Tina: Sorry Santana, I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself and I would never change a thing. Mike: Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina? [whispers] Self hating Asian. Tina: Not too many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to mirror what I see in magazines. Finn: My dancing kind of bothers me. It almost killed Rachel but I like the way I look. Santana: Oh please. You have weird puffy pyramid nipples. Sam: [tries to look at Finn's nipples] Finn: [slaps Sam's hand away] Santana: They look like they're filled with custard. Or you could dust them off with powdered sugar and pass it off as some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel is fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it.”(X)

“I’ve kissed Finn, and can I just say… not worth a buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs”. (X)

Santana: “Please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to Scotland. I’m trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown. I am sorry, Finn. I mean, really, I’m sorry that the New Directions are gonna get crushed by the Troubletones. And I’m also sorry that you have no talent. Sorry that you sing like you’re getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you’ve been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel’s coattails for the rest of your life, although, you know what, I would just watch out for her come holiday time if I were him, because if I were her, I’d stick a stent in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukkah lamp for eight magical nights.” (X)

Santana: “Why is everyone staring at me like I’m Finn and I just won a butter eating contest” (X)

She even hit him during The Quarterback “Okay, I know that Finn had his doubts about God but I am convinced that Squishy Teets is up in heaven right now plopped down next to his new best friend Fat Elvis helping themselves to a picnic of baby back ribs smothered in butterscotch pudding and TaterTot grease so this is for you Hudson” (X)

She also did a combo Finn/Sam rant “Not only am I giving you full visitation rights to the set of rambunctious twins that live on my rig cage, you get the chance to show that pastry bag Finn that he can’t mess with Sam Evans. And not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python…” (X)

The Kurt rant

“Kurt I took what you said to heart, and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point. Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little gentrophile with a mouth like a cat's ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together or farted. Maybe Blaine didn't want to be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams. Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out about your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen to pass to entertain exactly no one with, say, some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by another dead alcoholic crone. Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, "You know what I don't want to marry a sexless, self-centered baton twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: "the finger wag", "the shoulder shimmy" and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips. So, you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Maybe that has something to do with it."(X)

Conclusion: Chris was not attacked more than other actors on Glee. The writers were pretty vicious about the physical characteristics of Rachel’s nose, Finn’s weight and man boobs and Sam’s nose. They also wrote about Damian’s height referring to as Leprechaun. All are very personal attacks about the actor; not the character. Finn’s boobs were used as fodder for humor after he died so the idea that no other character was humiliated throughout the show is untrue.

Debunk #2

I don’t know what Ryan Murphy’s issues were with Chris but he clearly he had some. Ryan didn’t write Santana’s vicious lines-Brad Falchuk did. I spent enough time researching this and finding late-season interview is hard but earlier interviews show that Ryan really respected Chris and Kurt.

Ryan did an interview with NYT in 2010 Q:Is this story in any way autobiographical or a reflection on your own experiences growing up?

A:It wasn’t really true to my experience at all. But I know so many people that it was true to. It was very true to Chris Colfer’s experience, and working with him for the past year, he would tell me stories. It’s amazing to me — last year when we did the “Glee” tour, every time Chris Colfer came out on that stage for his bows, 100 percent, he got the loudest cheers and applause, from all groups of people. Little girls, parents. A lot of people have embraced him and he’s part of their television-going family, so to see an episode in which he’s physically threatened is very upsetting for people, I think. But it puts a face on it.

Q: It’s still rare to see gay characters on prime-time network programs, let alone one who is out in the way that Kurt is, and at a young age. Is there ever any pressure on you to tone down the portrayal of that character?

A: No, surprisingly not. Three episodes into the series last year, when we did the “Single Ladies” football number with him, he became an audience favorite and people started to write about that character and Chris Colfer. I think that character is in many ways the most important character on television, particularly for kids. When I was growing up, there was nobody like that. I think that character changes lives. I think that character launches conversation, both good and bad, and that’s a very powerful thing. I’ve done shows where if a character is a little bit controversial, the network and the studio are like, “Could you please tone that down?” They never did that at all with this character, and they were all very supportive of the story line. (X)

“Growing up in Indianapolis, Murphy sang in his church choir and immersed himself in high school musicals. His father was a semi-pro hockey player who was baffled by a son who requested a Vogue subscription when he was 5 years old and performed in his bedroom, holding a hairbrush in front of a mirror. He may not have understood his son, but he accepted him, even when Murphy revealed that he was gay at 15″.

“Having a dad that loves you as a young man is a very powerful thing that you carry into the world,” Murphy said. “Because no matter what you do, in some weird, unconscious way, if you’re a guy, you always try to please your dad. I think it’s a great thing to put on television. You’ve seen the gay character that gets kicked out of the house or is beaten up. You haven’t seen the gay character that is teased a little bit, but wins and triumphs.”

“The scene in which he tells his father was taken verbatim from Murphy's own life. Murphy felt that the scene was "a great thing to put on television", because, while gay characters are often isolated and attacked, audiences have rarely seen an openly gay character who "wins and triumphs". He further explained, "The show is about making you feel good in the end. It's about happy endings and optimism and the power of your personal journey and making you feel that the weird thing about me is the great thing about me. I've done other shows with gay characters, and I will say that in many of those cases, the gay characters didn't have a happy ending. And I thought you know what? Enough."(X)(X)

We also know that Ryan created the role of Kurt specifically for Chris.

We don’t know what happened with the fall out(s) on set. Chris said he wouldn’t work for Ryan and

“To this day, I'm devastated by everything that happened with that show." (X)

Other interring things I found:

“Over the course of six seasons of Glee, which petered out earlier this year, there was plenty written about backstage drama, fractured relationships and the death of star Cory Monteith from a drug overdose. All Murphy will offer are his own misgivings about his role on the show. "I was there with them all day long, and then we'd finish work and we'd go out and have fun all night, and I guess in a weird, twisted way, I was trying to relive the childhood I never had," he says. "I thought they wanted a parent, and they didn't. They didn't want me to tell them what to f—ing do. They didn't want me to tell them how to treat each other or what the world was like at the end of the day. I wish I could go back and do that differently with a lot of those actors. Some of them I'm still very close to: Lea Michele, Chord Overstreet, Darren Criss — but there were some that didn't work out well, and I regret that. I guess I just wish I had been able to let them figure it out for themselves."(X)

Conclusion: Ryan is a grown man and didn’t have it out for Chris. He respected Chris and used the Kurt role to tell his story of being a gay boy in small midwest town.

Debunk #3

The poor treatment stems from extreme jealousy. For many, many reasons.

Abby has claimed Ryan is jealous of Chris many times over the years-it still isnt’ true. Ryan is a very successful producer, writer, creator. I found a few quotes to back that up.

“It's a peculiar thing to be asked by Murphy, 50, the closest thing the TV industry has to a proven hitmaker, save, perhaps, for Shonda Rhimes. Over the past decade and a half, he's made pop-culture juggernauts out of plastic surgeons on Nip/Tuck, high school misfits on Glee and witches, nuns and nymphomaniacs on American Horror Story. And in that time, he's become a name brand himself, more famous than all but the biggest stars in his sprawling casts. The showrunner, both pop savant and provocateur, has one of the richest eight-figure deals in television and a coterie of loyalists that includes Gwyneth Paltrow(with whom he's about to pitch a musical dramedy), Julia Roberts, Jessica Lange and now Lady Gaga. He's hosted President Obama at his home for a $40,000-a-couple fundraiser, and when he mentions his friends Norman, Barbra and David, he's referring to Lear, Streisand and Geffen.(X)

"There's a limited number of creators in film or TV where if you put the title plus their name — if you say, 'Steven Spielberg's blah blah blah' or 'Marvel's blah blah blah' — you're going to get a different answer than if you don't," Landgraf says, "and Ryan is one of those guys."(X)

Chris is a successful writer and if he is successful in writing and directing the TLOS movie, he could be a power player in Hollywood. But right now- even with his Time 100 award, he isn’t anywhere near Ryan Murphy. I suppose Ryan could be jealous of something other than Chris’s success but I have seen no evidence of that.

Conclusion: Nope.

#cc #ccer #ccers #cc fandom #cc family #cc blog #crisscolfer #darren criss #santana rant

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ineffably-good · 6 years

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Imagine: Lost in a Crowd

Apologies - I’ve lost track of the actual message this request came in, but this is for the anon reader who asked for a take on getting lost in a crowd when exploring a market with the Tenth Doctor. Enjoy!

___

It had not been the best of days. You’d begun it trying to help with peace negotiations between two rival tribes on a small desert world on the outer rim of the Medusa Cascade. The Doctor was well known to them and sure he’d be able to help, but somehow, something went wrong - some breach of protocol he hadn’t anticipated, and the two of you were unceremoniously ejected from the proceedings with an utter lack of dignity and a few curses that left the Doctor feeling obviously bruised.

Left at loose ends, you ended up strolling through the capital city’s rather extensive marketplace at what seemed to be the height of rush hour. There were people on foot everywhere, thousands of them, and hundreds of vendors selling their wares. You and the Doctor strolled slowly, sticking to the edges of the crowds to avoid getting swept along. You could tell he was thinking over what had just happened, analyzing what had gone wrong. You were trying to give him some space, occasionally distract him a little with light conversation. He smiled back absently to each of your forays but the smile never really reached his eyes.

In the end you fell silent and just tried to enjoy the sights around you. A pile of brightly colored, intricately woven fabric on a nearby table caught your eye.

“Doctor, hang on, I want to look at this,” you said. You heard a noncommittal grunt in response and went off to investigate. The fabric was light and sheer, sparkling with color and small flecks of gold and silver, and more beautiful than anything you’d ever seen. The vendor helped you arrange one around your neck and hair in the manner of locals, and you tried several colors, admiring the results in a mirror.

It wasn’t until you turned around to show the Doctor what you’d found that you realized he was nowhere in sight. The market around you was a literal crush of bodies, tall, skinny, short, fat, pink, brown, even an oddly gorgeous lavender shade of skin - but no sign of that ruffled hair or pin stripe suit or trainers. No glasses, no frown, no nothing.

You were, apparently, on your own.

You didn’t take it too seriously at first. Figuring he’d come back to find you, you purchased the length of sky blue linen you liked best and wrapped it around you like a shawl, enjoying looking just a little bit more like one of the locals. You browsed a few more tables. You waited. No results.

Well, you thought, I guess I better go looking for him.

It didn’t take long for you to realize that the market was even larger than you had thought. You wandered in roughly the direction you thought he’d been heading when you last saw him for a good half hour without ever finding a break in the stalls. It was made even more confusing by the seemingly random organization of everything. If there was a pattern to the stalls’ placement, you couldn’t see it - linens and exotic crystals and strange foods you couldn’t label were side by side with huge piles of pungent spices, local fashions, machine parts. The locals clearly understood how to navigate but you were soon thoroughly, completely turned around.

It was a relief when you suddenly found a fountain in a small clearing - something different, a landmark of sorts. Exhausted, hot, thirsty, and suddenly feeling very alone, you sat down on the edge of the fountain in the pounding sunlight to wait.

***

You estimated about an hour had passed when you finally saw him entering the square from the opposite side. His face looked pinched and worried until he saw you - and then his expression morphed through a quick combination of relief, happiness, and utter crossness as he stalked over to your side.

“Y/N, I have been looking for you for two hours!” he said, not raising his voice but still managing to sound like a disapproving school teacher.

“So’ve I!” you said indignantly, deciding that the best defense in this situation was probably cheek. “You’ve really got to stop wandering off like this, Doctor. I mean honestly, we’ve talked about this how many times?”

He gawped at you. “Me? Me wandering off? Have you lost your mind?”

You couldn’t help but grin at him - he just looked so gobsmacked.

“Oh,” he said, frowning at you as he realized you were pulling his leg. “Very amusing, Y/N. Very, very amusing. I see you woke up funny today.”

“I wake up funny most days,” you said pleasantly.

He sat down next to you with a grunt. “Don’t I just know it.”

“Sorry,” you conceded. “But in all fairness, you basically left me behind. I told you I was stopping to look at something. You made a noise like you heard me. And then you just disappeared.”

“I did?” He looked a little embarrassed and covered for it by cleaning his spectacles on his shirt. “Don’t remember that happening. Of course it’s far from my best day, all things considered. Got tossed out of the legislature on one of my favorite worlds. Blew the negotiation. Apparently abandoned you in a crowd of thousands.” He held his glasses up and peered through them, checking for dust. “Not really my finest work.”

You considered him for a moment, deeply surprised. The Doctor wasn’t usually one to admit to any weakness, but his shoulders were drooping and you could tell he was really worn down by today. You leaned over and rested your head against his shoulder for a moment, trying to radiate your support. He seemed to welcome the touch.

“You know what you need?” you asked.

“Oh please, tell…”

“Ice cream. You need ice cream,” you announced. “I’m pretty sure I saw the equivalent of ice cream about 14 or 15 turns back. In one of these directions. That way?” You stood up and faced one direction and then turned a quarter turn to face another. “Or was it that way? Doctor, all of these pathways look exactly the same.”

He cracked a small but genuine smile at you. “Good thing, then,” he said, “that you happen to have an excellent navigator with a completely superior - no, with a legendary olfactory system. If there’s ice cream within a kilometer radius, I can smell it.”

He hopped to his feet with some of his more usual enthusiasm showing signs of return and held out a hand to you.

“Follow the schnoz?” you asked playfully, taking his hand.

“That’s right!” he said, pulling you back into the crowd. “Allons-y!”

#dw imagine #dw preference #tenth doctor x reader #10 x reader #tenth x reader #tenth doctor #tenth doctor imagine

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calamiticus-blog · 7 years

Text

and here’s the second one, which is also so messy and blah i’m so sorry it’s like 2 am and i wanted to get these out so my apologies for typos and general messiness. i added trigger warnings but if i missed anything pls lemme know and message me if you wanna plot with my babes :)

[ TRIGGER WARNINGS: DEATH, DEPRESSION, AND ALCOHOL/DRUG ABUSE UNDER THE CUT. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION. ]

❝ be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ❞

LYDIA GRAHAM? No, that’s actually MATILDA YOUNG. About to begin SEVENTH YEAR, this GRYFFINDOR student is sided with THE LIGHTNING INSURGENCY. SHE identifies as CIS FEMALE and is a MUGGLEBORN who is known to be RASH, IMPATIENT, and CALAMITOUS but also PUCKISH, CHARISMATIC, and CONFIDENT.

general

name: matilda tillie ann young

age: 17

house: gryffindor

student functions: gryffindor keeper

boggart: the ghost of her mother, pale and withered and broken

patronus: wild cat

orientation: pansexual / panromantic

headcanons.

if you want a death sentence, you’ll call her matilda. no one calls her matilda. not even her own father calls her that. he knows better. you can call her tilda, matty, til - whatever. anything but matilda. mostly, she gets called tillie, and that’s how she introduces herself. “tillie young - at ya service,” she’ll say if you ask her for her name. she hasn’t uttered her full name - no one has - not since that day. and she wants it to stay that way. matilda young died the day her mother left this world, leaving behind a totally different person. a ghost of a person. and if you try to resurrect her, ever utter that name, all you’re going to get is a fistful of pain, either to the schnoz or the groin. don’t you dare call her matilda.

tillie young grew up muggle, completely unaware of the phenomenon that was coursing through her veins. her childhood was fairly simple, though somewhat riddled with hardship. michael and tabitha young were, just that - young. tabitha was just seventeen when she found out she was pregnant, about to have a kid when she was still one herself. her boyfriend (a rather loose term for michael at the time) was just a couple years older, a uni drop out who played drums in a psychobilly band that was honestly not that good at all. the only good song he ever wrote was for a little black haired girl, a spitting image of her raven-haired mother, and the only joy the man ever had. despite her rocky origins, tillie grew up in a loving home with a pair of crazy, and heavily inexperienced, parents who were growing up beside their wild haired daughter. those first few years were bliss, the kid not knowing the troubles lurking beneath the surface of her parents’ wide grins.

so it was a shock when the leukemia hit. tillie tries not to think about it, because it only ever gets her mad. it was just a reminder that life wasn’t bliss, that it was cruel and unfair and things never really ended with “happily ever after” like those silly children’s books mum would stop and read to her whenever they were out and happened to be near a book store. life was not some fairy tale. she had to learn this the hard way. her memories of her mom range from her being healthy and oh-so-happy to frail and weak. and yet she was always smiling, even through the hardest parts. she was so strong, so committed to making sure her daughter didn’t see the true suffering behind her eyes. tillie hadn’t a clue then what was happening, but looking back all the signs were there. despite their efforts, it didn’t take long for the sickness to take hold, and she remembers being curled up next to her mother, staring up at dark and beady eyes, hearing her father’s muffled weeps against the other side of her neck, barely concealing the slow and dying beat of tabitha young’s heart. she’d stayed there for a couple hours more, until they had to tear her away from the body’s side. she hadn’t even cried until they were out in the hallway and michael was struggling to keep tillie from jumping out of his arms and rushing back into the room where tabitha lay.

it was shortly after this that life sent another curveball tillie’s way. when her mother left, so did any light in their world. her father resorted to alcohol and medication to numb the pain left from their loss. he was barely a dad now. tillie stopped calling him dad just to make that clear. she spent a lot of time between the homes of relative’s and “in the system” while her father went through phases of sobering up and falling into bad habits. eventually they gave up on both of them, and through a cruel twist of fate tillie stayed with her dad. she may have been the kid, but michael needed someone to take care of him more than he could take care of someone else. so she dealt with it, and soon enough the daughter became the caretaker. it forced her to grow up fast, but the everlasting memory of her mother kept tillie from growing up too fast. she still remained impish and charming and refused to be some stick in the mud grown up. that was dad’s job, even if he wasn’t going to live up to it. but her lifestyle left her with complicated and unnerving feelings, a sort of darkness that would follow her no matter how carefree she attempted to act in the face of all her adversity.

this darkness took the most intriguing forms. all her life her parents had compared her to a storm. you could always sense just when a hurricane’s about to land, and according to her parents you could always sense when tillie was going through something. every tantrum was accompanied by a disturbance. the echo of her laughter caused things to literally jump. and those big old crocodile tears that leaked whenever she was upset brought on the most peculiar wonders that either tabitha or michael had ever seen. strange coincidences, they’d say, but when tillie was older and able to recognize the peculiarities herself, she couldn’t help but feel there was more to it. after all, things randomly, albeit briefly, levitating around you was no common occurrence. the answer to this quiet question that was plaguing her every night didn’t come until the arrival of a strange and ancient looking woman to her home when she was eleven, accompanied by a letter delivered by owl inviting her to attend hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry. it seemed like out of one of those fairy tales her mum used to read to her, but this was no fairy tale. magic was real, and tillie had some of it herself.

the transition into being a witch was strange, to say the least, but tillie has embraced it fully. since discovering she’s a muggleborn, she’s wanted nothing more than to immerse herself completely in this new and fantastical world that’s been open to her. she took to hogwarts so naturally, it was like she was born with the knowledge of it. and while she isn’t the most studious or intelligent, she’s soaked up the education it’s given her. to know that magic is real and to be steadily mastering it has awakened a joy in tillie she never knew was there. not since her mother died. she found a passion for quidditch, being an exceptional beater. she loves charms and transfiguration, taking glee in transforming rats into goblets and the like. every second spent at that castle is like the first chapter to a brave new adventure. but the true reason she’s taken such a liking to hogwarts is because for the first time in a long time she has a home - and a community that loves her and welcomes her in with warm embrace. michael did little to make her feel love after tabitha’s passing. the friends she’s made at hogwarts and been the opposite. she doesn’t feel lonely anymore, not here. she feels at peace and blissful, like a child again. it’s hard to believe it’s her last year and that it’s all coming to a close. she wishes she could turn back time, back to that first day on the boat, so she could keep reliving these seven years over and over again.

the war scares her. the prospect of her fairy tale world being ruined by the threat of war unnerves her. tillie doesn’t want ruin to come to the wizarding world. not when it’s been such a joyous escape from the tragedy of her past. she was quick to sign up for the insurgency - desperate to keep this danger from spoiling the beautiful community she’s come to consider her home. she’s eager to fight back, to bring an end to this ridiculous fight once and for all. with blind courage and optimism, she believes that they’ve got what it takes to bring a proper end to this. nevermind that they’re just a group of kids - this is their world. her generation is on the brink of adulthood, and these backward thinking pricks want to ruin their future? hell no. she won’t let this stand. as a muggleborn she feels particularly threatened and it only spurns her on more to stop the death eaters once and for all. behind all that courage and ambition, though, she’s afraid. she’s afraid that she won’t be good enough, that she’ll fail. she’s afraid of dying and leaving her father an even bigger mess than when her mother passed.

loud and somewhat obnoxious, tillie is incredibly outgoing and isn’t shy when it comes to making friends. she’s rather protective and if she sees anyone being bullied she’s quick to jump to their defense and claim them as a friend. once you’re her friend, you can count on being protected by her. she may not seem like much but she’s tough and foul-mouthed and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty or into a fight or two. growing up on the streets, she learned to fend for herself - and she’s seen her fair share of the big bad guys picking on the defenseless little ones. tillie won’t let that fly, though. as a seventh year, the question of her future has been brought up more than she wants to address. she’ll tell anyone she wants to be a holyhead harpy, and she very well could be, but there’s a lingering though of becoming an auror or working in law enforcement. she wants to protect the little guy, to bring justice to those that do wrong, but she isn’t sure her grades are enough to get her into a training program. so she won’t say it aloud. plus, holyhead harpy sounds so much cooler.

wanted connections.

friends - like said above, tillie loves to make friends. and she loves to defend said friends. she’s a cross of mom friend and your friendly neighborhood badass - she will probably mom you and tell you to put on a jacket when it’s cold out because “you might get sick” and she’ll baby you and remind you to get enough sleep and eat three balanced meals, but she’ll also punch someone square in the nose for you, and is known to kick a few groins in the name of friendship. she’s already lost the most important person in her life - whenever she gains a new friend, she goes the extra mile to ensure their safety and happiness. and she loves to remind people she cares, because you never know when they won’t be around to hear it anymore. and she doesn’t want the lat words between them to be bad. ( can be multiple people )

exes - she may be a loving shit, but man tillie is not the best at maintaining serious romantic relationships. could be the unconventionality of her parents’ relationship. could be the string of destructive relationships she watched her father endure after tabitha left them. whatever the case, she’s just not good at keeping these things going. often times it’s because she gets scared. they’re getting in too deep. they’re really developing serious feelings about each other. then she gets cold feet. blame it on her self-destructive nature or inability to think decisions through before acting upon them - tillie always breaks things off just when they’re going so well. it’s because she’s used to good things leaving her. she said her goodbyes once and she can’t handle the thought of losing anyone else. with war looming on the horizon, this is getting all the more stressful. so she broke shit off again, because if something happens she can’t live with losing another person she loves more than life itself. better to end it now than see it end through death. ( any gender )

rivals - whether they are rivals on the pitch or elsewhere, tillie cannot stand this one person. they’re always against her, always standing in her way. they don’t see eye to hate. they think lowly of one another. maybe it’s a blood status thing. maybe it’s a gryffindor/slytherin thing. maybe it’s just the fact that tillie thinks she’s a lot better than this person and vice versa. whatever it is, there’s no doubt there’s bad blood between them. perhaps if they looked past their differences the pair could be a dynamic duo, come to actually like one another, but that doesn’t seem likely. tillie hates them with all of her might, and she refuses to see them as a human being. they’re more like the devil incarnate, but whatever. ( any gender )

can’t think of that many more but i’ll take like any connection you can think of so don’t hesitate to message me your ideas!!

[ READ MORE ]

( feel free to message me with plots or connections, even if they aren’t listed on here ! i would be open to everything and anything ! )

#ghostsintro #( m. young )#( about. matilda )#i'm sorry i suck at these

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jesusvasser · 7 years

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2017 Frankfurt Motor Show Hits, Misses, and Revelations

FRANKFURT, Germany — Stanley Kubrick famously had planned a pie fight between the Yanks and the Soviets for the final scene of his 1964 classic, “Dr. Strangelove.” We couldn’t help thinking about such a pie fight breaking out in Volkswagen Group’s Hall 3 at the 2017 Frankfurt auto show, where the walking lanes came to a standstill as Audi conducted its Elaine concept press conference.

Compounding the crowd, Audi moved in with the rest of VW Group this year from its old spot in the center square between Hall 3 and Mercedes-Benz’s Guggenheim-like grand arena. Audi used to have a big, crowded, temporary arena all to itself. Dieselgate budget cuts, you know.

The Audi Elaine is a connected, electric four-door SUV “coupe” that premiered at Shanghai earlier this year (a sign of the times) and spoke to the automaker executive conducting the presser in a Cortana-like voice. It was in German, so we can’t tell you who the exec is or what he and Elaine said, but we yearned for Dustin Hoffman to yell “Elaine! Elaine! ”from offstage.

Enough of the cinematic metaphors. The big celebrity highlight was when three-time Formula 1 Drivers’ Champion Lewis Hamilton drove out into Mercedes-Benz’s stand in the Mercedes-AMG Project One.

BMW and Mini moved from the front of the Frankfurt Messe, near Mercedes and VW Group, to Hall 11 about a kilometer away, which at least provided incentive to walk into the non-German automakers’ displays in-between. With General Motors gone, Opel shrunk to a smaller stand as part of PSA Peugeot, and nine other automakers having stayed home this year, the 2017 Frankfurt IAA was a smaller, more German industry-intense affair. Nonetheless, this show has plenty of cars and concepts to like, criticize and contemplate.

Hit: The idea behind the Mercedes-AMG Project One

I like the concept of a Formula 1-powered hypercar.

—Robert Cumberford

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One

Totally unconvincing collection-of-clichés styling. A serious disappointment.

—R.C.

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One

The biggest buzz of the show, if far from an unqualified hit. No, it’s not pretty and looks like an update of the legendary BMW-powered McLaren F1 road car. But Gorden Wagener’s team designed it for best aero and downforce, like a purpose-built racecar. Better yet, it’s the first hypercar that will be capable of speeds of nearly 220 mph from just 1.6 liters worth of hybrid turbo V-6.

—Todd Lassa

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One Nose

Perspective matters. My first glimpse of Project One came from a second story balcony, revealing a sculptural, wasp-waisted shape bisected by a contrasting air intake and dorsal fin in matte black carbon fiber. Coming down to ground level revealed an entirely different slant: viewed head-on, the 1,000-plus horsepower sled seemed surprisingly unemotional. Despite a more than a passing resemblance to the late, great McLaren F1, the AMG’s schnoz simply couldn’t deliver on the promise of that striking top view, let alone the sculpted, tucked, and diffuser-clad rump. Blame the slavish demands of the wind tunnel (or whatever/whomever you want), but Project One’s proboscis is a reminder that form can lose charisma when it’s tied so directly to function.

–Basem Wasef

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One Fin

Every great hypercar needs a signature design touch and Project One’s pièce de résistance is the carbon fiber piece that spans the mid/aft section of its roof. Doubling as an air intake and a shark fin intended to improve lateral stability in high-speed corners, this smoothly contoured form manages to evoke both a sense of function and touch of whimsy.

–B.W.

Hit: ASpark Owl

Is it a serious effort? Who knows, but in terms of styling, it really puts Project One on the trailer. Spectacular.

–R.C.

Revelation: ASpark Owl

I love walking along at an international auto show, minding my own business, and getting stopped dead in my tracks by an abjectly beautiful vehicle I’ve never seen before. Case in point: the ASpark Owl, a new electric supercar from Japan that makes some bold claims just begging for substantiation. Though I couldn’t find an expert on-hand, I did learn from a large format hardbound book (seriously) that this lean, mean, carbon fiber EV weighs only 1,900 pounds and packs two motors that can scoot it to 62 mph in two seconds flat. The prose includes no shortage of buzzwords (power amplifier, supercapacitor, speed reducer), but can we just brush all that aside for a moment and drool at the Owl’s killer looks?

–B.W.

Miss: Renault Symbioz Concept

Worst concept of the show. Lumpy plastic windshield, bad seating package, awful profile. Not at all up to the usual Renault concept standard.

–R.C.

Renault gets credit for unveiling not just a concept car, but an entire house to go with it. The Symbioz is one of those Internet of Things things, a battery-powered blobbymobile that can park itself and communicate with the house (i.e. if the heat’s on in the car, the house heats up as you approach). It can fold away its own steering wheel and turn into a sitting room, which is exactly what we don’t want from a car. The sad part is that in order to make the Symbioz the focus of its press conference, Renault gave short shrift to its other Frankfurt introduction, the Megane RS, a 276-hp hot hatch with four-wheel-steering. Now that’s the Renault we want to drive.

–Aaron Gold

Hit: Renault Symbioz Concept

Yes, yes, it’s all that. But the good news is: 2020, your new Renault Avantime is here.

–T.L.

Miss: BMW Concept X7 iPerformance

We love a big, imposing SUV just as much as the next jerk, but the BMW Concept X7 iPerformance’s odd proportions and massive maw is more off-putting than it is badass. Sure, it gains eco points for its plug-in hybrid drivetrain. But let’s leave the mean, menacing look for the Rolls-Royce Cullinan, shall we?

–B.W.

I wouldn’t be so offended by the hideously massive “Star Wars” tie-fighter kidney grille if it weren’t for the Nissan Patrol/Infiniti Q80-style rear quarter-windows and d-pillars. Why didn’t they simply tap partner Toyota for a Land Cruiser to reskin?

–T.L.

Hit and Miss: 2019 Bentley Continental GT

The new Continental GT is big, bold, and breathtakingly beautiful. I’d call it a hit if the back end didn’t look like it was ripped off from an Audi A7—a sin that might be forgivable were both brands not owned by the Volkswagen Group. The A7 may well have the best-looking rump this side of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, but grafting it on to the Continental GT is just plain lazy.

–A,G.

Hit: The Bentley Continental GT’s Creased Haunches

Bentley’s long overdue Continental GT replacement has a lot going for it, including a new platform from Porsche, nearly 300 pounds of weight savings, and, finally, a modernized interior. But one curious detail caught our eye in Frankfurt: the coupe’s sharply creased haunches. “[Showgoers] haven’t stopped touching it,” one Bentley flack said of the aluminum panel. Manufactured using an aerospace-derived superplastic forming technique, the panels have an interesting engineering backstory. But arguably more important is a tactile invitation that bodes well for the car’s market appeal.

– B.W.

Hit: Borgward Isabella concept

Best concept in the show. Illustrates what happens when a brilliant designer tackles an electric car. Anders Warming, ex-Mini design chief, is one of the best young Germans in the business. The Isabella has many innovative styling ideas, but some old ones that didn’t work 40 years ago, and don’t work now, such as the fading paint on glass.

–R.C.

Hit: Borgward Smartphone Fan

No question, the best swag at this year’s Frankfurt Auto Show was this little fan that plugs into the bottom of your smartphone. It was given out by Borgward, a once-well-known German concern now reborn and backed by China, where its cars are sold. (They plan to return to Europe soon.) This little gizmo is exactly what you’d expect from a Chinese concern: Useful, amusing, cheaply made and potentially dangerous (good luck unplugging it without sticking your fingers in the whirling blades). I plan to steal about half a dozen of them by any means necessary. And what about Borgward’s SUVs, you ask? Trust me, the fan is better.

–A.G.

Miss: BMW i Vision Dynamics concept

Instead of showing us a Tesla Model S with a kidney grille, I’d like to have seen BMW unveil something new and forward thinking, like the Borgward Isabella concept.

–T.L.

Revelation: Jaguar I-Pace Trophy

With plans to electrify their entire lineup by 2020, Jag is going gangbusters on EV tech. This much we know. But the latest surprise from Frankfurt is that the folks from Coventry are transforming electric I-Pace crossovers into a support series for the Formula E series. Built by the carmaker’s Special Vehicle Operations division, the I-Pace eTrophy racer packs a satisfying visual punch: despite its family-friendly configuration, the wide-hipped, spoiler-clad, roll cage equipped sport ‘ute looks mean enough to appease the most hardcore internal combustion apologists.

–B.W.

Hit: Ferrari Portofino

To me, a successful Ferrari design is one that looks instantly familiar. You know you’re looking at something you’ve never seen, but you also know you’re looking at a Ferrari. The Portofino is one of those cars—it just looks right, and it manages to look right whether the top is up or down. Thirty years down the road, this will be remembered as one of the great Ferrari designs, and it’s a privilege to have seen it make its world debut.

–A.G.

Hit (qualified): Ferrari Portofino

Much better than the California, still not up to the usual Maranello standard.

–R.C.

Hit: Hyundai Kona

If the Genesis G90 shows that the South Koreans can do a great imitation of Lexus, the Hyundai Kona shows they can do a great imitation of Citroën. This car has just enough nutsy details to keep it interesting without veering off into weird (Toyota CH-R), controversial (Nissan Juke), or downright ugly (Kia Sportage). What with all the mature-but-dull designs Hyundai has introduced over the past couple of years, the Kona might be the vehicle that gives them back their mojo.

–A.G.

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jonathanbelloblog · 7 years

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2017 Frankfurt Motor Show Hits, Misses, and Revelations

Enough of the cinematic metaphors. The big celebrity highlight was when three-time Formula 1 Drivers’ Champion Lewis Hamilton drove out into Mercedes-Benz’s stand in the Mercedes-AMG Project One.

Hit: The idea behind the Mercedes-AMG Project One

I like the concept of a Formula 1-powered hypercar.

—Robert Cumberford

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One

Totally unconvincing collection-of-clichés styling. A serious disappointment.

—R.C.

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One

—Todd Lassa

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One Nose

–Basem Wasef

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One Fin

–B.W.

Hit: ASpark Owl

Is it a serious effort? Who knows, but in terms of styling, it really puts Project One on the trailer. Spectacular.

–R.C.

Revelation: ASpark Owl

–B.W.

Miss: Renault Symbioz Concept

Worst concept of the show. Lumpy plastic windshield, bad seating package, awful profile. Not at all up to the usual Renault concept standard.

–R.C.

–Aaron Gold

Hit: Renault Symbioz Concept

Yes, yes, it’s all that. But the good news is: 2020, your new Renault Avantime is here.

–T.L.

Miss: BMW Concept X7 iPerformance

–B.W.

–T.L.

Hit and Miss: 2019 Bentley Continental GT

–A,G.

Hit: The Bentley Continental GT’s Creased Haunches

– B.W.

Hit: Borgward Isabella concept

–R.C.

Hit: Borgward Smartphone Fan

–A.G.

Miss: BMW i Vision Dynamics concept

Instead of showing us a Tesla Model S with a kidney grille, I’d like to have seen BMW unveil something new and forward thinking, like the Borgward Isabella concept.

–T.L.

Revelation: Jaguar I-Pace Trophy

–B.W.

Hit: Ferrari Portofino

–A.G.

Hit (qualified): Ferrari Portofino

Much better than the California, still not up to the usual Maranello standard.

–R.C.

Hit: Hyundai Kona

–A.G.

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eddiejpoplar · 7 years

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2017 Frankfurt Motor Show Hits, Misses, & Revelations

Enough of the cinematic metaphors. The big celebrity highlight was when three-time Formula 1 Drivers’ Champion Lewis Hamilton drove out into Mercedes-Benz’s stand in the Mercedes-AMG Project One.

Hit: The idea behind the Mercedes-AMG Project One

I like the concept of a Formula 1-powered hypercar.

—Robert Cumberford

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One

Totally unconvincing collection-of-clichés styling. A serious disappointment.

—R.C.

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One

—Todd Lassa

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One Nose

–Basem Wasef

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One Fin

–B.W.

Hit: ASpark Owl

Is it a serious effort? Who knows, but in terms of styling, it really puts Project One on the trailer. Spectacular.

–R.C.

Revelation: ASpark Owl

–B.W.

Miss: Renault Symbioz Concept

Worst concept of the show. Lumpy plastic windshield, bad seating package, awful profile. Not at all up to the usual Renault concept standard.

–R.C.

–Aaron Gold

Hit: Renault Symbioz Concept

Yes, yes, it’s all that. But the good news is: 2020, your new Renault Avantime is here.

–T.L.

Miss: BMW Concept X7 iPerformance

–B.W.

–T.L.

Hit and Miss: 2019 Bentley Continental GT

–A,G.

Hit: The Bentley Continental GT’s Creased Haunches

– B.W.

Hit: Borgward Isabella concept

–R.C.

Hit: Borgward Smartphone Fan

–A.G.

Miss: BMW i Vision Dynamics concept

Instead of showing us a Tesla Model S with a kidney grille, I’d like to have seen BMW unveil something new and forward thinking, like the Borgward Isabella concept.

–T.L.

Revelation: Jaguar I-Pace Trophy

–B.W.

Hit: Ferrari Portofino

–A.G.

Hit (qualified): Ferrari Portofino

Much better than the California, still not up to the usual Maranello standard.

–R.C.

Hit: Hyundai Kona

–A.G.

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howellrichard · 8 years

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Our Miracle Boy (a Tribute to Buddy)

Hi Dear Friends,

I’ve loved animals from the time I was little. In fact, I had more animal friends than kid friends. They just understood me better and I, them. Much to my Mom’s dismay, I was always rescuing someone. Frogs, cats, inch worms—everyone was welcome in my home. I even made little outfits for them by cutting holes in my baby clothes—another thing she wasn’t too keen on.

My beloved pets helped me through college, heart-breaks, job changes and moves. For me, life just isn’t the same without furry friends. Cut to today. We live on 17 stunning acres in beautiful Woodstock, NY—my sanctuary. When we moved here, I dreamed of rescuing lots of animals. I also dreamed of expanding our human family—but that wasn’t in the cards for us.

Living with a rare, slow-growing stage IV cancer, with no cure or proven treatment options, has had some consequences. But, the hardest one has been having to potentially choose between my life and having children.

My oncologist described it like this: “Picture your disease like a rock balancing on top of a mountain. Right now, that rock is stable, not causing you any harm. If something (like pregnancy) were to change that, your rock may start tumbling down the mountain. If that happens, there’s a chance we can catch it. We just don’t know if we can put it back on top of the mountain—where you’re safe. There are just too many unknowns, so think hard before you potentially wake the sleeping giant inside you.”

Now, I’m a risk taker but this was too big of a risk for me. And sure, there was adoption, but it’s a lot harder for a stage IV cancer patient like me to qualify as a candidate. Plus to be honest, we just weren’t up for the journey at the time.

So, my rock-solid husband and I made the tough decision not to have children. We vowed to live big, fully and out loud to squeeze the most out of the life we did have. Though our decision was right for us and even healing, it was also the only time I’ve ever felt broken. Fuck you, cancer.

Now, as I was processing all this soul-growing stuff, I decided it was the perfect time for a second dog! I was a mama to our gal, Lola, and my aching heart wanted more unconditional love and sloppy kisses. So, I started to petition my man. Though he shares my love for animals, he didn’t exactly have more fur-babies on the brain. In his mind, I traveled too much for work and life was too complicated—bad timing. “It’s not a no, it’s just not a yes right now,” he said.

Miracles come in all shapes & sizes—including big, furry hound #dogs. Our job is to notice & thank them: http://bit.ly/2nXbfcV @Kris_Carr

But, I grew up with parents who used that kind of mumbo jumbo on me, and I do not give up easily. So, my petition turned into an all-out marketing campaign for our next pooch. A week didn’t go by where I wouldn’t pitch my “top 3 reasons why our new dog would transform our lives”. Complete with infographics, pie charts and analytics.

Finally, he relented. Praise God! It felt like Christmas, my birthday and the time the Easter Bunny gave me a training bra in my basket—monumental. We celebrated our glorious decision (AKA my hard-fought win) by going on a long hike on our favorite mountain trail. Naturally, I couldn’t contain my joy, and I expressed it with each strenuous step.

Then, the miracle happened.

We rounded a corner and there he was. Our miracle boy. Our Buddy dog. He was emaciated, matted and covered in filth—we fell in love instantly. Through the kindness of strangers, a group of people helped us slowly get Buddy down the mountain. Someone offered a blanket and a nice man gave him part of his sandwich for strength. Brian took off his belt and made a collar and leash and, when that wasn’t enough, he carried him. From that moment forward, it was a collective #gobuddygo rescue effort.

As we quickly learned, Buddy was in bad shape, days away from dying. The vet informed us that he was about 50 pounds underweight and very lucky to be alive. Due to certain clues, we think he either ran away from an abusive situation or was dumped. I scoured the local papers, Facebook posts and lost pet registries, but no one was looking for him. We even went town to town looking for posters and fliers—nothing. (Thank God! We didn’t want to give him back to anyone.)

As we were trying to understand what happened, we learned that Buddy’s breed is often used for hunting and our gentle fella probably wasn’t very skilled. Sadly, it isn’t uncommon for hunters to abandon animals that don’t perform. This isn’t always the case, there are many hunters who love and care for their dogs. It’s just more of an issue with Buddy’s breed than we knew, so we couldn’t rule that out. Especially because he hated guns, thunder and raised voices. Think more Turner Classics and less NRA.

For months, we poured our hearts into helping our new boy heal. I often joked that his angels instructed him to be at that location on that very day. To look for a yammering blonde and her patient hubby. “She will know what to do. He will do whatever it takes.”

We researched the best diet, supplements and holistic remedies. We even brought in an acupuncturist (until Buddy signaled that needles weren’t his thing by trying to bite the nice man who was thankfully very understanding!).

When the weight wasn’t coming on fast enough for his recovery, we added softball-sized servings of raw ground beef to the mix. Twice weekly, this vegan would head to the butcher in a baseball hat and sunglasses. I even ran into Elizabeth Lesser there once. “Of all the places to bump into you!”. Yeah, tell me about it.

Over time, Buddy went from looking downtrodden to totally radiant. It was amazing to watch his spark come back. His matted coat became shiny and his body functions normalized. But as he was healing, his energy was introverted and cocoon-like. He didn’t like to be touched too much or handled in an unconscious way.

Once, I plopped down on the sofa he was sitting on and unintentionally startled him awake. Well, he snapped at the air like a Great White Shark leaping for a seal. Buddy’s message was clear: “Be mindful around me, especially when I’m in a vulnerable state.”

I can only imagine how scared and alone he felt while starving in the woods. Were there predators? What about all the rain and thunder? Did he think he was going to die? It was traumatic so, naturally, any sudden movement when his defenses were down wasn’t gonna fly. “Got it. Sorry, Buds.”

After a long (mindful!) winter, Buddy totally recovered, and then blossomed. His personality slowly emerged and we were delighted to meet the real, funny him. A gentle, goofy giant, who went from being frightened of touch, to moaning for ear noogies and full-body hugs.

When he wasn’t holding court and welcoming visitors as the mayor of the porch, he was on patrol, checking the perimeter. Thankfully, six of our acres are fenced and dog-friendly. It was my guess that his nightly missions made us safer (or so he believed).

And boy, could our fella move! We called him a shape-shifter. One minute, we were on one side or our football field-sized lawn, the other minute he was on the opposite—until you said the word “cookie”. Then, the woods would shake as he suddenly appeared, galloping full-speed toward his treat.

Buddy fell in love with everyone, especially butterflies and small dogs and gentle winds that brought worlds of information to his gigantic schnoz. He even loved his little sister, though it took her a while to return the feelings. I swear that boy taught me more about kindness and resilience than some of the greatest teachers on this planet.

Especially after what came next.

For a while, we thought his gait was weird due to an accident or perhaps an issue from birth. His left leg made these goofy little half-moon circles when he walked, and he often stood like a ballerina (with his back legs in second position). Odd. Hmmm… Though we didn’t think too much of it, we thought we should get it checked out. So, we took him to a specialist, and that’s when we learned that Buddy had Degenerative Myelopathy (DM), a disease that’s similar to ALS in people.

Like ALS, there’s no cure and the end isn’t easy. Paralysis would work its way through Buddy’s body until he couldn’t move or breathe and there was nothing we could do about it. Maybe he has 6 months to live, at best. Fuck you, DM!

Then, I really knew why he chose us as parents. His angels said, “That one. See her? She’s your new mom and she has a chronic disease, too. She and your new dad will know what to do and they’ll give you the best, longest life possible.”

And, that’s exactly what we did.

As Buddy’s disease progressed, he started to lose his ability to fully use his back legs. So, we bought a harness and held him up as he walked. At first, he only needed us to stabilize him but, over time, his backend got heavier and heavier. When we could no longer be his legs for him, we had Buddy fitted for a wheelie cart—which he loved and zoomed around in—often flipping it while chasing squirrels or his little sister.

When his front legs started to go, we got him a super-Cadillac cart that supported both his front and rear (Thank you, Eddie’s Wheels!). Around this time, he stopped being able to relieve himself without assistance, so we learned how to express his bladder and his bowels. To say I’d be a good proctologist is an understatement.

We didn’t think it was gross (ok, sometimes we thought it was really gross!) and neither did he. Right before each bowel expression, I’d sing “someone’s knocking on the door, let me in, let me in”. He’d dance. I’d get a poop out. Sorry, I know this is really graphic, describing how I put my gloved finger in our dog’s ass to stimulate a bowel movement, but it’s the truth. And, you thought my life was glamorous!

As the months went on, caring for Buddy became a nearly full-time job. And to be honest, sometimes it was really frustrating, especially in the snow and rain. But, it taught us lessons in patience and the values of showing up every day. I stopped traveling for work, cut back on speaking engagements and socialized less (sorry we missed your wedding Kate and Mike, and sorry to so many other friends). But as many of you with pets who are like your children know, there’s no difference between our love for them and other family members. It’s unconditional.

So, we carried on. But, we also looked for signs from Buddy. Was this the life he wanted to live? The shitty thing about DM is that animals who have it are often still fully themselves, even as their bodies are dying. Even though he was bed-bound, he still took his job as mayor of the porch very seriously. He was still full of life and love and so much personality and possibility—a gentle ambassador for rescues and disabled animals—but his body was failing and his time with us was slowly coming to an end.

I talked to him about dying, and I asked him to signal us when he was ready. I also prayed to God to help us know when it was time. We didn’t want him to suffer or be unhappy. He deserved peace.

I also asked God to let me know if we were being selfish. Were we keeping him around because we couldn’t bear to lose him? Or, were we doing what was right and giving him the best life?

I talked to our vet and he said we were doing the right thing and praised our efforts and love. I even invited our dear friend, Kathy, over for her professional opinion. Kathy is the founder of the Catskill Animal Sanctuary and I knew she’d tell me the hard truth. This tough and wonderful broad has rescued thousands of animals and she’s also had to compassionately put some of them down when they were suffering. No one knows this journey better than Kathy.

“Girrrrrl, this fella still has a lot of life in him! Keep going, he’s not ready.” Oh, what a relief! More days… More months… More precious time with our precious miracle boy…

And then, one day, he was ready.

Though we had some damn good times in those last months, Buddy’s symptoms progressed and he started letting go. I watched as he retreated back to that internal cocoon-like state. Though he still loved our attention and cuddles, his spark was fading. It was time.

On the day Buddy died, I told him that he was about to meet my grandma, grandpa and favorite cat, Crystal. That he’d see Brian’s dad and my biological father, who both loved dogs. Plus, he’d be embraced by so many other angels, too, including my Aunt Maria, who jingled when she walked and was a fabulous Flamenco dancer.

I let Buddy know that I’d follow him one day, just not right now. And until we saw each other again, he should run in fields, play like a pup, smell flowers, eat way too many cookies and cuddle with the stars.

That afternoon we made a love fort in the middle of the living room. Our vet came over and so did Buddy’s best friend, Michelle (the therapist who lovingly got into a tank with him several times a week to give him the hydrotherapy treatments that extended his life).

We held Buddy in our arms and told him how much we loved him and, right before he passed, he popped his head up and looked straight into my eyes. In that profound moment, I felt his love, gratitude and presence.

Then, he peacefully left his body.

Buddy truly was a miracle, our miracle boy. He lived a year and a half longer than the doctors expected, a year and a half more of joy, life lessons and bringing beauty to the world.

We miss him deeply but feel so blessed for the time we had together. I think our bond grew especially strong because he was so dependent on us. But, what I hope he knew is that we were dependent on him, too. He helped me heal a grieving heart. He showed me a greater capacity for love. And, he reminded me that life is very precious and all beings deserve a chance to live it.

Miracles come in all shapes and sizes. Little bundles of joy and big, furry hound dogs. Our job is to notice and thank them. The more we do, the more blessings we receive—they just may not always come in the exact form we intended. In the end, loving Buddy was some of the best loving I’ve ever experienced. Yet another blessing.

Thank you to everyone who cheered him on. Thank you for following our #gobuddygo posts on social media and for loving him from afar. Buddy warmed and brightened countless hearts around the world and I know many of you were deeply touched by him. Bless you.

If you’re ready to bring a pet into your life—go for it. And, send me pictures! I’d love to see your fur-children. But, please rescue. Adopt, don’t shop. And, don’t forget the old ones, the banged up ones, the misfits and the rebels—the ones who are often overlooked—they’re the angel babies who will love you the most.

We love you, sweet Buddy boy.

xo,

The post Our Miracle Boy (a Tribute to Buddy) appeared first on KrisCarr.com.

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jesusvasser · 7 years

Text

2017 Frankfurt Motor Show Hits, Misses, & Revelations

Enough of the cinematic metaphors. The big celebrity highlight was when three-time Formula 1 Drivers’ Champion Lewis Hamilton drove out into Mercedes-Benz’s stand in the Mercedes-AMG Project One.

Hit: The idea behind the Mercedes-AMG Project One

I like the concept of a Formula 1-powered hypercar.

—Robert Cumberford

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One

Totally unconvincing collection-of-clichés styling. A serious disappointment.

—R.C.

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One

—Todd Lassa

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One Nose

–Basem Wasef

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One Fin

–B.W.

Hit: ASpark Owl

Is it a serious effort? Who knows, but in terms of styling, it really puts Project One on the trailer. Spectacular.

–R.C.

Revelation: ASpark Owl

–B.W.

Miss: Renault Symbioz Concept

Worst concept of the show. Lumpy plastic windshield, bad seating package, awful profile. Not at all up to the usual Renault concept standard.

–R.C.

–Aaron Gold

Hit: Renault Symbioz Concept

Yes, yes, it’s all that. But the good news is: 2020, your new Renault Avantime is here.

–T.L.

Miss: BMW Concept X7 iPerformance

–B.W.

–T.L.

Hit and Miss: 2019 Bentley Continental GT

–A,G.

Hit: The Bentley Continental GT’s Creased Haunches

– B.W.

Hit: Borgward Isabella concept

–R.C.

Hit: Borgward Smartphone Fan

–A.G.

Miss: BMW i Vision Dynamics concept

Instead of showing us a Tesla Model S with a kidney grille, I’d like to have seen BMW unveil something new and forward thinking, like the Borgward Isabella concept.

–T.L.

Revelation: Jaguar I-Pace Trophy

–B.W.

Hit: Ferrari Portofino

–A.G.

Hit (qualified): Ferrari Portofino

Much better than the California, still not up to the usual Maranello standard.

–R.C.

Hit: Hyundai Kona

–A.G.

IFTTT

#IFTTT #Performance Junk WP Feed 4

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jonathanbelloblog · 7 years

Text

2017 Frankfurt Motor Show Hits, Misses, & Revelations

Enough of the cinematic metaphors. The big celebrity highlight was when three-time Formula 1 Drivers’ Champion Lewis Hamilton drove out into Mercedes-Benz’s stand in the Mercedes-AMG Project One.

Hit: The idea behind the Mercedes-AMG Project One

I like the concept of a Formula 1-powered hypercar.

—Robert Cumberford

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One

Totally unconvincing collection-of-clichés styling. A serious disappointment.

—R.C.

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One

—Todd Lassa

Miss: Mercedes-AMG Project One Nose

–Basem Wasef

Hit: Mercedes-AMG Project One Fin

–B.W.

Hit: ASpark Owl

Is it a serious effort? Who knows, but in terms of styling, it really puts Project One on the trailer. Spectacular.

–R.C.

Revelation: ASpark Owl

–B.W.

Miss: Renault Symbioz Concept

Worst concept of the show. Lumpy plastic windshield, bad seating package, awful profile. Not at all up to the usual Renault concept standard.

–R.C.

–Aaron Gold

Hit: Renault Symbioz Concept

Yes, yes, it’s all that. But the good news is: 2020, your new Renault Avantime is here.

–T.L.

Miss: BMW Concept X7 iPerformance

–B.W.

–T.L.

Hit and Miss: 2019 Bentley Continental GT

–A,G.

Hit: The Bentley Continental GT’s Creased Haunches

– B.W.

Hit: Borgward Isabella concept

–R.C.

Hit: Borgward Smartphone Fan

–A.G.

Miss: BMW i Vision Dynamics concept

Instead of showing us a Tesla Model S with a kidney grille, I’d like to have seen BMW unveil something new and forward thinking, like the Borgward Isabella concept.

–T.L.

Revelation: Jaguar I-Pace Trophy

–B.W.

Hit: Ferrari Portofino

–A.G.

Hit (qualified): Ferrari Portofino

Much better than the California, still not up to the usual Maranello standard.

–R.C.

Hit: Hyundai Kona

–A.G.

IFTTT

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger Feed 4

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