#and i held it together so well right till the end when we said goodbye and then i just started breaking | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myelocin · 3 years

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grids in the sky | matsukawa issei

synopsis: here's how you let go of seven years' worth of love, while here's how Issei's the first to let go, then hold on to it. in which you love him a little less as the days go by, just as you love you a little more with every new goodbye that's realized.

characters: matsukawa issei, reader

genre: angst, breakup/post breakup, a leedle comfort dskjfhskjfh | wc: 5300+

a/n: (waves halow do u see me) tq to jan for comming this!!! ily!! ;33;

commissions | ko-fi

The impermanence of love is realized upon heartbreak.

“I don’t think I love you anymore.”

There’s no pause. Words laid on the line, as bare and honest as he could deliver them. Just as love was built to ultimately be vulnerable, he thought, why not for heartbreak too?

But he can’t deny that when he looks at you, he still sees all the traces that doesn’t fade with a blunt goodbye. Love that wasn’t built overnight has a tendency to linger, Issei realizes.

You’ve been here, so here you are.

From day one to day two thousand, five hundred and fifty five, you’ve been the face that would stay side by side with consistency. Because in a sense, love was consistency. Love started as dumb jokes, knowing looks, and meeting in the middle. Strangers turned to friends, before friends turned to something that felt deeper than even a soulmate.

Because at the end of the day, Issei knows you as much as you do him. Seven years. You’ve slept on the same bed, fucked on the same bed, and ate every meal together. He knows the kind of cereal you like, just like you know the exact brand of cheese he thinks melts the best when he’s cooking.

It’s the smallest things that had you realizing love was more than the initial bang that sparked the beginning.

But right now, he’s standing beside you in the same aisle you’ve walked past more than at least a thousand times by now telling you he doesn’t think he loves you anymore. So in response, you blink. You keep your eyes on the shelves in front of you: staring back and forth between brand A and brand B of the same fucking cheddar cheese and ignore the fact that your eyes have been losing focus for a while now.

“For the love of god, ‘Sei,” you finally whisper. “Couldn’t this have waited ‘till we were home?”

He doesn’t do as much as even shift beside you, and when he replies, it’s like he’s just talking about the weather. “What if I don’t wanna go home?”

When your eyes finally focus in, it doesn’t surprise you when you realize that you’ve been staring at brand A for the past five minutes now. It’s always been his favorite. Seven years and the recipe never changed. Seven years and he still wears that dumb apron every time he cooks because he always said he likes how pretty your happiness made you when you were caught somewhere in between a smile and a laugh.

None of that sit with you in the moment. You turn to him, the hesitation in your step a dead giveaway of your own apprehension in the matter. Ignoring it, and choosing to swallow your pride, you will yourself to focus your eyes on him. “Then where would you go?”

He shrugs, eyes darting back and forth between everything that isn’t you. His face is calm, and his voice is smooth.

Like this is practiced; like everything that’s playing out is from a well-thought out plan.

You tap your foot, impatient. “Issei, look at me.”

A breath held, then released. It’s 2AM and the aisles are next to empty, but you keep your voice lowered as if the whole world is right behind you, listening.

He doesn’t look at you. He sighs, but his breath is caught midway, the rest coming out as a choked exhale. There, you think. There’s my Issei.

Your Issei never hid behind the faux comfort of words and tentative glances. He gave you his truth served as is and never on a silver platter. He hiccupped when he cried and choked on his breath when he’s tripping up on the words of his truth.

But just like that it dawns on you that this is his truth.

When he looks at you, the entire preface of the end is written in the way he furrows his brows and blanks his eyes. He shifts this time. One glance towards brand A of that same cheddar cheese you’ve bought for him for seven years now and the other towards the content of the cart that’s only got your items inside.

He’s picked up nothing tonight.

You kept going; living your everyday like it’s just every other day, while he already took more than just a few steps back.

The look on his face is heartbreak realized after a sigh, because the second he says it—again—he’s breathing like he’s held his breath this whole time. “I don’t think I love you anymore.”

He says nothing after that, letting the silence that comes echo again and again until it’s all that rings. So you know that by the silence that settles after his words, that what he says is only his truth.

You turn to him. “You don’t love me anymore.”

He shrugs, avoiding your gaze. Perhaps there’s a bit of guilt that was meant to come with his words, but everything remains shrouded behind his façade that painted his so called certainty. Issei’s in front of you, shrugging like he’s certain that he doesn’t love you anymore, while it’s two in the fucking morning and this was just supposed to be another midnight grocery run.

“Say that then,” you correct. “Say you don’t love me anymore instead of saying you don’t think you do. Don’t hide behind uncertainty, ‘Sei. You’re not like that.”

Turning back to face the shelf in front of you, you ignore the way he immediately turns his head. Confidence waning, the burst of what ten second brevity was there rapidly fading.

Aisle three and 2:31 AM on the clock. Your cereal, your biscuit, and your usual coffee mix in the cart. You pick up brand A of the cheddar cheese on the display before you catch yourself in the act and put it back.

“Guess I don’t need that anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Issei says, turning to face you. “I wanna at least explain myself but I—“

“I don’t think I even want to ask you why or how. You don’t love me anymore and it’s as simple as that. Could’ve picked a better venue to break up with me after what—,” you pause; inhaling and holding your own breath before you turn to him and continue—“seven years?”

You’re aware of the anger that slowly begins to simmer, but you push it back down. Seven years of knowing him more than yourself, and you know he’s slipping his goodbye within what you know as your everyday so the hurt that’s bound to come will be tender.

None the less, when the more he chooses silence, the more aware you are that you are angry.

Only, it doesn’t show. You move through the motions like this is just another grocery run, and he’s just a stranger beside you. He shifts, then he sighs. He turns his head towards you, the hesitation in the stretched silence made so clear at this point.

Perhaps there’s mercy in uncertainty when it comes to others, but the definity founded in the way he says nothing more only solidifies the truth that the end is meant to look like this.

Like standing in aisle 3, on just another night that should have felt like another everyday. Like staring at the same brand of cheddar cheese you knew he added to the cart for the past seven years now, and wondering if this is the last time you’ll get it.

Like finally coming into terms with the blunt edge of the sword that pokes you on the side, as you look at him, shrug, and say, “Seven years of this and this is how it ends.”

“I’m sorry—“

“Please don’t act like there’s even supposed to be a consolation in any of this.”

He pauses, then when it sinks in, you do too. Your eyes don’t water, but you shift your weight from one leg to the next. Seven years of knowing him, and you know that he’s always had a tendency to keep his truth in—locked so tight and kept too far from the light, that it eventually just bursts.

You try to plead for another truth. “Please tell me you’re just fucking with me right now,” you whisper, afraid of the truth you know is only an inevitable at this point.

Then at his repeated apology, you know you’ll wake up to an empty room come sunrise.

Then it works like this:

You’re angry before you’re hurt. For a while, you think that you hate the word love, before reality bares down on you once again, reminding you that the deeper the hues of midnight, closer is the break of the dawn.

Because when you try to navigate in the dark, you can’t deny that even moonlight doesn’t suffice. You stumble around, and you feel for what’s still there. And what’s left of the seven years’ worth of love are framed photographs taken down from the walls and pushed into a box.

His things packed in three suitcases and a backpack, while you’re left in an apartment that still carried the bits and pieces of him he never even knew he left behind.

It’s like that, because it’s messy.

Goodbye was as easy as hello, but the aftermath is a fucking mess.

A week after the door’s shut, his mug is still in the cabinets, so you smash it. Two weeks in, and you’re doing the laundry, and finally find that shirt he was looking for a month ago. It smells like him, and is still him. Two months later, and you’re finally deciding to have a look at the mess you’ve swept in a corner and let pile up, just as you decide that you hate it. In the midst of the rage, you hate him too.

Three months and you open the box filled with seven years’ worth of photographs, and instead of succumbing to the urge to burn them—you finally weep.

You’re angry when you’re stumbling in the dark, because the moonlight was never enough to guide you. It’s anger before sadness; then sadness, before the desire for your peace.

Six months and you still cry when you’re at the brink of burning them again. In the midst of the rage that consumes you sometimes, you think that setting the crumbs seven years has left behind will become bright enough of a light—but as a flame burns, it’s bound to dwindle too.

Seven, and the ache that comes with it feels like day one some days. Eight, and you’re allowing yourself to be hurt.

Nine, and you admit that shit’s tough. You see him in not just the bits that’s left behind, but in everything too. You do your grocery runs at another grocery store and turn your head everytime you’d see his brand of cheese on the shelf. His number’s blocked, and any news about him left to be unknown.

In the dark, you stumble and bump into corners more often than feeling secured that you’re found, but at ten—after ten fucking months—dawn comes. It breaks through the deepest hue midnight shrouded you with and allows for light to trickle in slow. Epiphanies pouring out of you, as if you’re reborn again and again. You hurt one minute, then you’re looking down and finally seeing where you still bleed. Where you need to heal.

They say a new beginning is found at the peak of the most marmalade sunrise, but in the soft lilac of the dawn, you consider the quiet as your start.

And so it starts slow.

With light, comes sight. You see the areas where you bleed and the corners of the room that need to be cleaned. There’s traces of him on the walls, and in the sheets, but you know where to begin now. Faded is the dark and the blindness that came with stumbling through with it, because even if the sight that greets you isn’t the end—it’s still a start.

Then you’re breathing—finally—at ten. The ache that comes with the goodbye is dull on the good days, but a little at a time, you give in to what’s there, as you allow for the dawn to heal.

On the other side of goodbye, it takes a solid two years for Issei to realize that he hasn’t been coming home at all.

There’s none of your waffles in the morning, or your adobo cravings for dinner. His new girlfriend likes to eat a granola bar for breakfast and sip on coffee for twenty minutes by an open window. She takes over the kitchen for lunch, while she lets him take dinner. She’s a little bit of you, but she’s mostly a stranger.

Two years with her and she’s still a stranger.

He’s got a ring hidden in a box, purchased two weeks ago, but he stares at it asking why he can’t kneel down on one knee and just ask.

His coworkers tell him it’s just the nerves, and while he’d agree quickly—a part of him knew he’d only done so out of courtesy.

And he really should have asked her, because two years flew. Time and time again, he’s heard of the saying that time flies if you’re enjoying life, so why couldn’t he just ask? There’s a ring in a box, a home with one bed, and “I love you,” is easy to say.

She gives him what he sought after in the seven years he was with you, so the rest should have fell into place.

“Will you marry me?” should have been the next question asked after he stared at his own reflection in the mirror two weeks ago, asking himself, “Do I want to marry her?”

The yes, as the answer said was only done after three beats of silence. There was a heaviness in his chest he blamed on the smoke in the room, and an apprehension he labeled as just nerves. In the back of his head, he thinks of seven years and the abrupt goodbye, and while the guilt trickles, he steers himself back to the present and says that goodbye was only for the best.

For the situation’s best. For your best. For his.

But bullshit, he thinks to himself.

Two years and it’s becoming clear to him how dim the road has gotten. Two years later, and he’s sitting on a couch in the middle of a room that doesn’t feel like a home. There’s nothing on the walls that tells a story of love in complete candids, and it doesn’t feel right.

Oikawa asks him how he’s been instead of commenting how happy he seems to be like he used to when he was with you. Iwaizumi wishes him well once every so often, while Hanamaki clinked his can of beer with him once, and said he hoped for the best. Whether he meant it for him or for you, he took it as a wish for the situation in general.

Goodbye doesn’t soothe what hasn’t been remedied, and as year two hit and he still couldn’t find the will to kneel down on one knee, he knew he was fucked.

To say that his reasoning would be the fact that he just isn’t ready is bullshit. If he wasn’t ready, then he wouldn’t be staring at his phone, his thumb hovering over the first digit of your number he still has memorized.

Looking at the clock, it’s only 9:30 PM so he’s certain that you’re home by now. Adobo for dinner, because it’s a Friday, and your friends on the phone with you because you like to catch up. He closes his eyes and finds peace in the way he can still visualize the way you would clip back your hair. There’s your scrunchie that somehow made it into a crevice of his suitcase, but he never threw it away. He tells his girlfriend that it’s probably from one of his sisters, but the questioning gaze that would linger had him thinking that she most likely knew more than she let on.

Then again, he doesn’t blame her.

Issei sinks back into silence more often now. There’s nothing in his present that he hates, but a part of him constantly pushes for the thought that this isn’t home, just as she isn’t love.

Staring at the screen on his phone, he realizes that he’s already dialed your number. Without much thought, he presses call.

The silence pairs with the ringing. It goes on; then on and on and on and on—until the line dies. 9:35PM and he’s throwing rationality away, because he’s calling again.

You pick up.

A soft inhale, then your voice saying hello.

You sound well, he thinks, and at the second hello—because he’s been silent this whole time—there’s an old ache he hadn’t seen coming resurfacing as if it still stings.

Truth is, it does, but he pushes the wound in further, pretending that it doesn’t.

“Hi,” he breathes. “Been a while.”

There’s no pause this time. “Issei.”

It’s him, who holds his breath this time around. Sitting up, he pats away at the imaginary dust off his lap and stares, wide-eyed, into the blank walls of his living room. It’s clear to him—and frankly to you—that he’s caught himself at a loss of words, not knowing what to say.

You break the silence for him. “Is everything okay?”

Your voice is familiar, he thinks. The lilt in the way you build up to the question, and the sound of the television in the background going from near full volume to something a little lower.

He’s choking on apprehension and a little fear when he speaks. “Y-yeah…” he trails off. Swallowing his pride, he speaks again, his voice just barely above a murmur. “I was just wondering how you’ve been.”

Over the phone, he hears you shuffle around as you hum, the volume of the television steadily rising. It didn’t overpower him, but it was loud enough for him to be aware of its presence. “I’m great,” you answer. “I, uhh, heard from Oikawa the other day you bought a ring.”

He stays quiet.

“—Congratulations, Issei.”

Rationality tells him that he should tell you that he’s only calling because you’re the face that stares back in clarity when he thinks of love and home, but he doesn’t. You’re calm, and he wants to know why. Two years, and he’s finally disintegrating into the mess he swore he would never be, and you’re calm.

Pressing the phone closer to his ear, he tries to listen for another person’s voice over the line. Could that have been it? Have you moved on?

9:37 and he’s letting the silence stretch again—like all the times that he used to—before he’s muttering a halfhearted thanks, just trying to gouge out what reaction you could have should the congratulations be in order.

“I’m calling because—“

“If you’re going to apologize,” he hears you chuckle. “It’s okay,” you exhale. “I don’t hate you anymore.”

He swallows the surfacing retaliation back down, knowing it won’t get him anywhere. His sadness, on the other hand, still slips. “Anymore?”

You hum a definite yes, but it doesn’t take you more than a few moments of organizing your thoughts together to answer him again. “You said you loved me everyday for seven years and decide that you don’t anymore, Issei. Do you blame me?”

He hates how there’s no hesitation coming from your end anymore. The silence he lets stay doesn’t linger, because you’re speaking, breaking the surface as soon as it settles. Your voice is the same, he notices.

Then it dawns on him that he doesn’t know what you sounded like when you were broken. He knows the rise of your voice when you’re angry, and the slow drawl you usually speak with when you’re upset. Right now, you sound the same. You’re watching a rerun of a show he knows you’ve watched at least three times already, while the volume steadily rises.

You’re not angry, because you let him speak. There’s an applause from the show in the back, followed by another voice, but he knows he’s got more than half of your attention focused on him in the moment.

Your voice sounds like you’re okay, and something inside him heals as much as it breaks.

Love is selfless because he’s happy you’re doing fine, and love is selfish, because there’s a piece of him that wants you to mimic the part of him that slowly comes into light as one of his unremedied hurts.

So he exhales, then leans back into his seat, shrugging his shoulders and shutting his eyes because you are right. He doesn’t blame you. Seven years and he left it all for you to sort through a couple boxes and hidden pieces of him lying around the space the both of you had built together as a home. He loved you in all those days until one day he decided that he didn’t and thought an abrupt goodbye was justification enough for the exit.

He doesn’t blame you, and with that in mind, the selfless voice of love pushes back the selfish, and speaks to both you and him.

There’s a ring in a box sitting on the palm of his hand, and he’s staring, knowing the reason why he hasn’t asked his girlfriend this whole time.

From his lips, it begs a question, just a murmur, sounding gentle as it finds the both of you through the static of your everydays. “Are you happy?”

Over the phone, still in the same city as he is, you breathe deep and exhale all the same, trying to piece together your truth that’s floated in fragments around the room for two years now.

You smile, because it’s funny how it looks like it’s just a room now. It’s the same apartment the both of you spent seven years turning into a home, but it’s just four walls and a couple rooms now. Like every other apartment in the building, you tell yourself—now—that it’s nothing but that, despite the history. A whole lifetime birthed, lived, and buried before you swept the floors, aired the space, and made it yours. It’s a room that houses a new beginning.

It’s your photos hanging on the walls this time; all your smiles candid, and your happiness, captured at its most genuine. There’s a plate of waffles on the table and the leftover adobo your friend dropped off at the door in a bowl inside the fridge, meant for tomorrow.

There’s a box filled with photographs under the bed, collecting dust, not because you hate it, but because more often than not, you just forgot about it.

You nod, deciding that you like how your piece looks like everything that is yours. So, “I’m happy,” you answer, not to spite him, but just to let him know.

“And you?” you ask, because the selfless voice of love urges you to meet him halfway with your newfound peace. And because you care, you realize. Past the hate is the epiphany that because love was there—kindness would always be present too. “Are you happy?”

Issei stares at the ring in the box. In the dark, it glimmers, rivaling starlight instead of the moon’s. It’s enough to light the room and have him staring at his own reflection at the black screen from the TV he clicked off the second you picked up the call.

Tomorrow, he’ll have to face his girlfriend and think of an opening to let her down slowly, but right now, he’s certain on a single thought. He’s never been able to get down on one knee and ask her to marry him because the ring he bought in a daze was on your size instead of hers.

He chokes on the next breath he tries to breathe in slowly, knowing that with this, also comes you and his’ goodbye. Finality, found in the epiphany that you’re fine, while the urge to see it through is done by the selflessness of love—yet again—because instead of telling you that he still loves you, he’s smiling instead.

It’s just his truth always had a tendency to slip past the veil he tries so hard to keep together. Thumbing the ring, Issei closes his eyes and thinks of how empty the room feels without having his piece of home around. “I don’t know,” he laughs, finally answering your query of are you happy. “I’m trying to be.”

Maybe everything was mapped out.

Like grids in the sky, you’re meant to be here, while he’s meant to be there. Twenty feet apart, while you’re in aisle three of that old grocery store, staring at the assortment of cheese in front of you, your eyes zeroing in on brand A because how could you forget? Two years, and a couple days later, this store becomes just another store.

Aisle three doesn’t feel like goodbye, because nothing around you feel like traces of him anymore. He’s in the next aisle over, looking over the assortment of waffle mixes on display, nostalgia painted all over his face.

With the phone call from a few nights before still fresh in your mind, you decide that it’s only best if you don’t say hello. You care, but not in the sense that you only do for the sake of a reconciliation. You don’t think of how and why “I love you forever,” turned into “I think I don’t love you anymore.”

Because you’re here, smiling at the contents in your basket, realizing that love can love alone too. There’s his brand of cheddar cheese next to a can of whipped cream and a pack of strawberries for your waffles tomorrow morning, and nothing in your heart aches like it did two years ago anymore.

He’s just Issei in the crowd now. Issei as the face you can pick from the crowd if you stare long enough, who happens to be standing on the aisle right next to this staring at something that probably doesn’t look like just a box of waffle mix to him in the moment. You’re at peace with the thought that you can walk past him thinking of nothing more than just the courtesy of a “how are you?” that’s often correlated with familiar faces.

He’s not a stranger, and never will be—but there’s peace in knowing that too.

And because love is messy—as it’s constantly been—sometimes loving alone has you sitting in your car, still parked in the parking lot even though the engine’s been turned on for close to fifteen minutes by now.

The love lingering from the seven years urges you to wait, and because you acknowledge that it’s always going to be a part of you—you relent and stay still. To let the last of what’s meant to leave come out, so it can go for good, perhaps, or maybe just because you’re swayed by curiosity, you aren’t certain if you know.

Maybe something in between the two.

Twenty minutes of sitting in the car, still parked, Issei walks out with a plastic bag in hand and a lost look on his face. Your breath hitches. It’s 2:31AM and your thoughts are dipping their toes in nostalgia, but instead of sadness overtaking you with what trickles out—you realize one thing:

Nostalgia.

Love just envelops you whole when you’re wading back in the waters of nostalgia. The present, you remind yourself, is yours. Healing moves slow and looks like a mess of ups and downs, but in the moment, your hands are on the steering wheel and the roads are clear. Streetlights break through the black of midnight, and moonlight no longer struggles to guide you from point A to point B.

Because you’ll get home just fine. Two years ago, through the mess and the goodbyes, you got home just fine.

Bits of you will always be scarred, because love tends to do that, but nothing is bruised or bleeding anymore.

As you shift the gear from park to reverse, you recognize the bag in his hand.

He smokes now, you notice. That’s something you realize you never knew about him. Seven years ago, smoking wasn’t him. He drank a little, slurred on his words, but often could never make it past three shots before he was knocked out.

He balances the bag with your favorite dinner inside with one hand while he raises the cigarette with the other, leaning forward to take a slow drag.

It looks like he’s used to this.

Maybe it’s good there’s a lot about him that you don’t know anymore. It makes letting go of who he was easier. People that are birthed in the face of love often die the second a goodbye is said, and the tides are shifted. Here you both are, twenty feet apart, in a parking lot with you in the car, and him smoking just outside the exit, familiar faces at best.

Then he turns towards you, and instead of being caught and feeling your heart pulse like you thought it would—it doesn’t. It beats soft, and hums slow. You breathe in and out, like nothing surprised you, and so when your eyes meet the most you do is smile, before offering a slight wave.

The waves in his hair have grown, and he’s wearing a new style of clothes now. There’s a tattoo peeking from behind his ear, trailing down his nape, and the cigarette held in between his lips made it look like more than just a lifetime has already passed since the last goodbye.

Raising a hand, you smile once more as he locks eyes with you, surprise written all over his features before he blanks it out and waves at you the same.

In silence, and in passing. You’re here, while he’s there, twenty feet apart and growing because it’s supposed to be that way.

Like strangers with familiar faces.

The wheel’s on your hands as is the direction of where to go. You back out, hit the brakes, then turn the wheel opposite from where he’s standing so you can shift the gears to drive and go.

He stares at you leave, feeling like he’s caught in a standstill.

There’s a hello he knows that won’t sound the same because of that abrupt goodbye, and a ring with your size in the dresser waiting for him to come home to.

Raising an arm as a wave, it doesn’t hit him that it was your way of saying goodbye until fifteen minutes later, when he’s slowing down to a red light and staring at the turn that used to lead home two years ago.

Sighing a deep breath, it’s within the deepest of the night, just shy of the turning point of dawn where he looks to the constellations—at the grids in the sky—and wonders how you’ve been, and how you’ve healed.

And because in the moment he decides that love is selfless, he smiles in his broken little way and laughs to himself, knowing that you’ve been doing more than just well.

Just as the impermanence of love was realized upon heartbreak, the permanence of it is founded the second you come home.

To love alone, because you can do that too.

There’s no one who tells you welcome home, but you greet an empty room with a smile and a feeling of peace and it feels all the same.

“I’m home,” to your peace, and to the love you blanket your home and your present with, because somehow, it’s right. Somehow, it fits. Somehow—it heals.

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chaeryybomb · 3 years

Text

TRAITOR

pairings: female reader x lee heeseung

summary: you thought lee heeseung was the best boyfriend you could ever wished for. but they did warn you about long distanced relationships. at first, you convinced yourself that it was just your insecurities taking over. but your gut feeling has never been wrong

genre: college au, lovers to exes, fluff, angst, sad ending

featuring: kang hyewon, shin ryujin, lee chaeryeong, lee daehwii, yang jeongin & zhong chenle

word count: 10.4k

warnings: breaking up, mentions of insecurity and cheating, arguments, strong language

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Setting down the final box on the ground, you released a sigh of relief and stretched your arms upwards. The satisfying sounds of your joints popping gave you a sense of relief as you stretched. Then you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist. You smiled as you took in his familiar scent. You reached up to touch his neck as Heeseung pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

"Thank you for your help, lovely," he mumbled in your hair.

You turned around in his arms and clasped your hands behind his neck, toying with the back of his hair. Lee Heeseung was looking at you with pure love in his eyes and you couldn't be more happy. "I can't believe we're both finally in university," he said, squeezing your waist.

"Hmm yeah, finally out of high school," you hummed. "It's sad that we didn't get into the same university though," you cupped his left cheek, rubbing his cheek lovingly with your thumb.

Heeseung nuzzled into your hand, slowly drawing you closer. "I can always drive to your dorm, it's just a three hour drive from here."

"Or I can drive to you," you replied.

He scoffed, "Yeah if you get your driver's license," he teased.

You rolled your eyes and softly punched him on the chest before pushing yourself away from his embrace. "Listen, not all of us can miraculously pass on their first try okay," you defended yourself but Heeseung just laughed at you.

Although you tried to act like you were mad at his joke, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face as you sat down on his bed. Currently, the two of you were in Heeseung's dorm. You wanted to help him move in before you had to leave. Heeseung and you were high school sweethearts, the school's loveliest couple. And you've been together ever since then. Today marked a new milestone for the both of you as you had finally graduated from high school and now both of you were accepted into different universities.

The both of you had decided to do what's best for each other and went to different schools. It was for the sake of your future, you didn't want to cause a commotion just because you guys were three hours apart. Plus, it was just three hours. Heeseung could always come visit you and video calls were a thing. You're friends were scared that the both of you wouldn't survive a long distance relationship but you had faith in each other. And that was enough.

Heeseung was lucky to have a room all for himself, whereas you had to share a dorm with two other girls. His room was small but big enough for one person. You knew Heeseung was a simple man, if it had a bed and a table, that would be enough for him. A knock on the door caught your attention, you suddenly remembered that you guys had left the door open when you were moving boxes.

Outside the door stood a pretty girl with long blonde hair. She was really pretty, you noted. She looked so natural as a blonde as well, you couldn't help but thought. The pretty girl sent both of you an awkward smile and waved. You stood up and walked to her, somewhat excited to make a new friend.

"Hi!" You greeted her with a smile, you felt Heeseung behind you.

"Hi," she mirrored your smile. "I'm Hyewon, I'm from the room next door," she pointed out.

"Oh! I'm Heeseung," the taller boy introduced himself. "And this is my girlfriend, Y/N," he smiled at you.

"It's nice to meet you, are you both music majors too?" Hyewon asked. It was common for Hyewon to ask that, considering the university Heeseung applied for is known for their music stream. Heeseung was extremely talented, being blessed with a heavenly voice and all. It was his dream to pursue a music career. Thanks to you, he found the courage to do so,

"Oh no, just him. I don't actually go here," you immediately told her. "I actually go to George University instead."

"Oh! So you're a theatre major then," Hyewon said, surprising you a bit. You nodded in return and Hyewon's smile seemed to grow wider. The university you applied to was quite well known for its theatre arts course. "That's so cool, I'm a theatre major too!"

Your eyes lit up in excitement and you stepped closer to the blonde, eager to learn more about her. But before you could ask her anything, your phone chimed. You gave her an apologetic look before checking your phone. "It's my mom, she's asking when I'll be home. I still have to pack up," you said disappointed. You really wanted to talk more with Hyewon so the both of you could geek out. (And spend a bit more time with Heeseung.) Hyewon looked disappointed too that you couldn't stay longer.

"Let me drive you home," Heeseung started to move to get his keys but you placed your hand on his arm to stop him.

"Nah, it's fine," you shook your head. "I can take the bus home."

"Then I'll walk you to the bus stop," Heeseung said with determination. He was gonna make use of whatever time he had to spend it with you, even if it was for five seconds.

You realised that there was no way of rejecting him, so you just chuckled and said, "Alright, let me grab my bag then." But Heeseung was already one step ahead of you as he had already gone to get it for you. You sent another smile to Hyewon. "It was really great to meet you, Hyewon. I hope we can talk again soon," you told her.

"Likewise Y/N, have a safe trip home," she bid you goodbye before returning to her room.

Heeseung appeared behind you once again, sneakily slipped his fingers through yours and pulled you out of the room. He locked the door with your bag on his shoulder, he looked like he had the intention of not letting you hold it.

"C'mon," he tugged your hand and you giggled, falling into step with him.

The walk to the bus stop felt quicker than it should be, much to your dismay. The bus stop was empty besides the both of you. As the two of you stood under it, you mindlessly swung your intertwined hands back and forth. Heeseung laughed at your action. He released your hand and you looked up curious on why he did it. Heeseung moved so he was standing behind you and wrapped his arms around you, effectively back hugging you.

Your lips tugged upward at the position you were and you held onto his arms. Slowly, he started to rock you back and forth. "I'm gonna miss you," he suddenly said.

You couldn't help but let your smile falter. You were gonna miss him too, you're gonna miss him so much. "This is the first time where we'll be so far apart, I think I might die without you," he rubbed his face into your hair as you laughed at his words.

"I'll call you everyday, Hee. I promised," you assured him with a pat on his arm. The taller boy only hummed in reply but you felt him move his arms to your middle so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled when you felt him peppered small kisses up around your neck.

"I love you," he mumbled before pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head.

"Love you too," you leaned back into him.

Just in time you saw the bus in the distance, which meant your time with Heeseung was ending. As the bus slowed down in front of you, your boyfriend finally reluctantly let you go from his slip. "I'll see you soon, okay?" you promised him. He nodded and leaned down to give you one more kiss before you entered the bus.

Sitting down, you waved from the window and he gave you a smile. Oh god, you already missed him. Heeseung watched as your bus left the station. You sighed, leaning back into the seat. This was the beginning of a new chapter of your relationship, and you have faith that the both of you will be okay.

"Thank you," you said to the barista as she handed you your coffee. With your free hand, you pushed the front door open. The November breeze welcomed you once you stepped outside, your coffee warming your fingertips. Your phone then started to ring in your pocket. You fished your phone out and a smile crept onto your face when you saw the contact name.

"Hello, love," Heeseung greeted as soon as you picked up. You smiled at him, holding your phone in front of your face.

"Good morning, Hee. I just got my coffee," you showed him your coffee like it was a little trinket. Heeseung laughed at your child-like action. The second semester was almost ending and your relationship was still going strong. The both of you were consistent with the video calls and text messages. You'd be calling him at the end of every day and the two of you would talk about your day till one of you fell asleep. (Spoiler: It was usually you.)

And now your second semester as a couple is ending, the both of you had decided to retreat back to your hometown during the break like you did during your first break. So you could bask in each other's presence and visit some old friends. It was slowly starting to become a tradition and you couldn't ask for anything more.

"So, how was your audition?" Heeseung asked as you walked past a group of band kids, sending them a smile as they waved at you.

At the mention of the audition, your smile turned into a pout. "Rejected, as usual," you sighed. You have auditioned for almost every play in your school but you were always rejected or chosen as a background character if you were lucky. You knew that there were a lot of talented students in your school, but you felt dejected each time.

"Sorry, love. I'm sure you'll have better luck next time," Heeseung told you with a sad smile. "I wish I could hold you right now."

You looked at him with a sad gaze, "Me too, Hee." You couldn't lie that long distance relationships were hard, everyday was spent through a screen and you yearned to be next with him physically. During the first few weeks, you told yourself that you would get used to it after a while. Spoiler alert, you still haven't gotten used to it. "But enough of that!" You said, waving away the depressed aura and taking a long sip from your coffee before letting out a sigh. "Our break is coming up and I can't wait to see you."

At the mention of the break, you noticed how Heeseung visibly flinched. His eyes suddenly weren't looking at you anymore, averting his gaze to the side instead. "We are going to be seeing each other, right?" You inquired. But you were met with silence, you stopped in your tracks when Heeseung didn't say anything. "Hee?"

"Actually, Y/N," he started to say and you felt your heart sink already. He didn't call you "love". Some may say you were being dramatic, but Heeseung only used your name whenever something was serious. You're not going to be able to see him during break, your mind told you. You knew it was the most possible outcome, but you hoped that you were wrong.

"I'm not going back during break."

And there it was, what possibly could have been the worse news for you. "Oh," was all you could say, your fingers tightened slightly around the plastic cup before you plastered on a fake smile. "Well, there's always next semester," you assured him, but it felt more like you were reassuring yourself. This was going to be your first winter break without Heeseung.

Heeseung smiled at your reply, a twinge of sadness in him but he brushed it off. "The reason is cause a senior from the film department asked me for help," he explained. "You see, there's a music video competition and he asked me if I could write a song for it."

Your eyes lit up in excitement. "No way! So they're gonna shoot a music video for your song?"

Heeseung nodded with a big smile. "Yup! It's such a big project, like they're bringing in some of the theatre kids as the actors and we're gonna start filming, like next month."

"I'm so happy for you, love," you told him truthfully. Internally, you were scolding yourself for feeling sad that he wouldn't be free during the break when he has something big going on in his life. Stop being so selfish, your mind scolded. Of course you felt a bit blue but this was a big opportunity for Heeseung, imagine if they won the competition. He would finally get some recognition for his music. And the fact that the senior chose him to write the song meant that people were already starting to appreciate his songs and his voice. You were being selfish, like a child.

As Heeseung continued to tell you about the project, you resumed your walk back to your dorms. You listened to him intensively, capturing every small detail in your heart. It was rare for you to see him speak so passionate. Music was his passion, his safe place. You knew that and you wanted him to live a life where he could make his dream a reality. A singer on the bright stage with thousands, no, millions of fans to appreciate his vocals.

You managed to reach your dorm just as Heeseung was being called for off screen. A feminine voice was calling from him and you easily recognised it. "Is that Hyewon?" You asked.

A few seconds passed and a familiar looking pretty blonde came into view. "Y/N? Y/N, hi!" The blonde waved at you enthusiastically, Heeseung was slowly being pushed out of the frame. You could tell he was scooting over to make space for Hyewon. An uneasy feeling slowly sprouted in you when you saw how Hyewon and Heeseung were sitting too close, but you shoved it down when the blonde girl grinned at you.

"Y/N!"

"Hyewon!" You responded with the same enthusiasm, which made the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.

"I'm so sorry for disturbing your time but Chan is looking for you," she apologised, the last part directed to your boyfriend.

"Ah, it's okay, I understand," you said.

"I'll talk to you later, okay? Love you," Heeseung said once Hyewon was out of frame.

"Love you too," you replied and your phone screen turned black, your reflection staring right back at you. You were frowning. With a sigh, you stuffed your phone back into your phone pocket to unlock your front door. Your coffee was now cold in your hands and the uneasy feeling from before was slowly creeping back in. You did not like it one bit.

Chaeryeong and Ryujin thought you were being dramatic, they were right in a way. But you were too busy missing Heeseung to be bothered. You missed his warmth, his voice, the way his hands perfectly fit yours when he held them. you missed the way you laid your head on his chest when he sat behind you, you could always hear his steady heartbeat. It always lulled you to sleep in seconds.

You let out a long and loud sigh as you flipped onto your back on your childhood bed. You had returned to your hometown one week ago, which also meant another week without Heeseung. Your best friend and roommate, Chaeryeong, was the one who drove you both home. The last time you saw her was when she dropped you off at your parents home. And you've been dwelling in your Heeseung-less days ever since.

Reaching over to retrieve your phone, you moved to open your chat with Heeseung. The last text message from him was from this morning. It was just a simple "good morning" text, and you replied with the same message except you added a heart emoticon at the end. And the message was on delivered. Not even on read. You don't know which one was worse.

Your phone suddenly dinged and you immediately sat up straight, thinking it was Heeseung. But your shoulders sagged in disappointment when you saw it was just a message from Jeongin. If Ryujin had seen you right now, the short hair girl would have called you a "lovesick fool". She was right, of course but still.

[2:42 pm] jeongin: guess what

[2:44 pm] chenle: what

[2:44 pm] jeongin: guess

[2:45 pm] chenle: no

[2:45 pm] chenle: just tell us

[2:46 pm] jeongin: g u e s s

[2:46 pm] chenle: n o

[2:46 pm] jeongin: guess goddammit

[2:48 pm] ryujin: jeongin i stg

[2:48 pm] ryujin: i will break ur kneecaps just tell us

[2:49 pm] jeongin: ugh fine theres a amusement park and i wanna go

[2:50 pm] chenle: its winter

[2:50 pm] jeongin: yeah and

[2:50 pm] jeongin: is there snow? no

[2:51 pm] jeongin: so therefore, amusement park

[2:51 pm] ryujin: i-

[2:52 pm] chaeryeong: where is it

[2:52 pm] jeongin: its like a 2 hours away from here

[2:54 pm] ryujin: and who tf would be driving us genius

[2:55 pm] jeongin: y/n bc she loves us

[2:56 pm] y/n: since when

[2:56 pm] chaeryeong: and shes alive, great job jeongin

[2:57 pm] chaeryeong: u pulled her out from her depression

i[2:58 pm] y/n: hey im not depressed >:(

[2:59 pm] ryujin: hm sure

[2:59 pm] y/n: >:(

[3:00 pm] y/n: also i dont have my drivers license yet dumbass

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ah right i also forgot y/n cant drive

[3:01 pm] jeongin: ryujin it is

[3:02 pm] ryujin: whAT I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS

[3:03 pm] chaeryeong: lets meet up at jeongin's place then

[3:03 pm] chenle: cool with me

[3:05 pm] ryujin: HEY DONT IGNORE ME

[3:04 pm] y/n: sure!

You stifled a laugh as you read Ryujin's message. Then, you switched to check your chat between Heeseung and you. It was still on delivered. Maybe he's just busy with filming and recording. Yeah, he's probably busy. Stop being so selfish, Y/N.

Yang Jeongin just had to choose the coldest day of the year to go to the amusement park, didn't he. You silently thanked yourself for dressing up in an extra layer, unlike Chenle who looked like he was about to die from frostbite. Whereas Jeongin had a huge grin plastered on his face as he looked at the Ferris Wheel ahead. You rubbed your hands together, bringing it to your mouth to blow hot air at it. You heard the car door slam shut behind you and Ryujin walked next to you.

Families lined up at the ticket booth, laughter and chatter filled the atmosphere. You spot some couples around the area as well, the sight of them tugged at your heartstrings. You wished Heeseung was here with you, he would've wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel with you.

Chaeryeong linked arms with you and Ryujin, leading the two of you to the entrance. The boys already beat you guys to it, you realised. Once Chenle handed you your ticket, you were immediately dragged to the first ride that caught Jeongin's eye.

After a couple of hours, you found yourself resting on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate at your side. Your social battery was empty and you didn't know where the rest of your friends had gone. Ryujin may have mentioned going to the restroom, you're not sure, you were too tired to keep up. So here you were, on the bench next to the Teacups Ride.

You watched as the visitors walked past you. Some were students with their friends laughing as if it was their last day on earth, children giggling as their parents lifted them up in the air and couples sharing a loving look. You fiddle with your phone, debating whether you wanted to text Heeseung or not.

The both of you had called each other last night. You couldn't see him but his voice sounded tired. You felt bad for calling him. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't. You picked up your hot chocolate, the warmth spreading through your fingers as you blew on it. Your body relaxed once you took a sip, enjoying as the warmth spread through your body. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a very familiar looking coat.

You saw a couple walking together, he was wearing a coat that looked identical to the one you gifted Heeseung last year during Christmas. It was almost as if that was Heeseung, well his back kinda looked like his and Heeseung was about that height as well. But it couldn't be him, his school was almost three hours away from here. Plus the girl beside him was blonde, she kinda looked like Hyewon.

What are the odds of those two being here, you laughed. But when those two stopped in their tracks to look at the Ferris Wheel, your entire body froze right there and then. That was Heeseung and Hyewon together. What were they doing here?

Your body reacted immediately by standing up. Heart beating rapidly, you were about to walk towards them when you saw Heeseung laughing at something the blonde said. A gnawing feeling grew in you, he was laughing with her. He was at the amusement park with her. Not you. Her.

And he never mentioned anything about going to the amusement park, let alone the same one you were going to. Your feet stayed glued to the ground as you watched them get into one of the carts. Why was he here? Why didn't he tell you? Why was he with her? Why? Why? Why?

You saw Hyewon stopped from getting into the cart and she stretched her hand out while she looked up in the sky, Heeseung following her. It was snowing. It was the first snow. And Heeseung spent it with Hyewon, while you watched from the sidelines. They looked like an actual couple. Snow started to fall, your hot chocolate was losing its warmth and jealousy filled up instead. The noise drilled out of your ear so all you heard was a low buzz, your gaze burning on the two. You didn't notice Ryujin walking towards you.

"Jesus, the line was so long that I-" Ryujin stopped mid sentence, her eyes following the direction of your gaze. "Y/N?"

You walked past her without saying anything, chucking the drink into a trashcan.

Your phone felt heavy in your hands as you paced around your room. You knew your eyes weren't wrong. It was Heeseung and Hyewon at the amusement park, you could tell it was him from a mile away. After that incident, you went to find your friends and told them you wanted to go home because you weren't feeling well. It was partially a lie anyway, you didn't feel comfortable. You don't know what you would do if you had stumbled upon them.

Thousands of questions echoed through your mind. And you couldn't bear to ask Heeseung. You knew you had questions but you didn't know what to ask. Why didn't you tell me? Why were you with Hyewon? Why wouldn't you tell me?

Your phone suddenly rang, causing you to jolt in surprise. The phone screen lit up with his name in bold. He was calling you. Without thinking, you accepted the call.

"Hey, love," Heeseung's smooth voice greeted you.

"Hey," you replied, making sure your tone was steady. You were silently grateful that it wasn't a video-call so he couldn't see the nervousness in your eyes.

"How was the amusement park?" He asked.

You bit your thumb, hesitant to answer. Should you tell him that you saw him today? "It was fun, a lot of people thought," you hummed, moving over to sit on your bed.

"You know, funny story. Today we actually went to an amusement park too," he suddenly said and you froze on the spot. "They decided to film there so we went there in the afternoon, it started snowing too!"

You felt a weight was lifted from your heart. So it was just a pure coincidence. Heeseung never planned to go to the amusement park, he just went with what they said. "It would've been funny if we bumped into each other, don't you think, love?" He laughed but you couldn't find the energy to laugh along.

"Yeah," you mumbled, leaning back into your pillows. He was there to film for the music video. He's busy with the music video. It's always for the music video. You trust Heeseung, don't you?

Winter break went by like the cold breeze and now cherry pink flowers occupied the empty branches. Flowers were blooming from the left and right, the cold winter was now in the past and you welcomed (the still cold) spring into your arms. Which meant you left whatever uneasy feeling and doubts in the past.

You were currently in Heeseung's dorm. Today was a big day, it's the day where they were gonna upload the music video and Heeseung wanted you to be there to watch it with him. Heeseung picked you up from the bus stop and then took you out for lunch. Thankfully it was the weekend so you could stay for the night.

Heeseung was at his desk, his thumbs typing away as he laughed silently at his phone. You wondered who he was texting. Maybe he's texting Hyewon, your mind taunted. You shook your head to drive the thoughts away, you were not going to be paranoid. You already left the bitter feelings in winter, you agreed with yourself that you'll leave it behind. You trust Heeseung.

"Who are you texting?" Yet the question slipped out of you either way.

"Huh?" Heeseung looked up, like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, uh no one," he quickly said, turning off his phone and placing it on his desk. "I think the music video is uploaded," he added before you could question him more.

He moved to his bed, where you were sitting. You scooted over to make space for him as he sat next to you with his laptop propped on his lap. He clicked into his senior's channel, Jeong Yunho, you took note. And there it was, the music video, uploaded forty five seconds ago. You let out an excited noise once you saw it.

"Not for sale," you read the title out loud. Heeseung had a proud look on.

The music video started off with a frame of Heeseung and Hyewon facing each other, then he handed her a note with the words "Not For Sale" on it. The camera then panned out to film the sky where the title appeared again in bold, and the song started to play. The song had a bubbly beat to it and Heeseung's angelic voice accompanied it. The music video was filled with pastels and some scenes were filmed at the amusement park. Specifically, at the carousel. There weren't any scenes of the Ferris Wheel though, you noted.

The video ended with Heeseung and Hyewon holding hands as they face the sunset, while the camera slowly zooms away from them and into the sky. The last scene was a black screen with all the credits listed out. When you saw Heeseung's name being credited for writing the song, you felt a sense of pride inside of you. Your boyfriend wrote this song, of course you're going to be proud.

Once the video ended, you threw your arms around Heeseung. Heeseung laughed as he wrapped an arm around your middle and the other holding onto his laptop. You planted a big fat kiss on his cheek and he tightened his hold on you.

"The song was so good, Hee! I'm so proud of you, babe," you complimented him, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair while the other cupped his cheek.

Heeseung smiled and leaned into your touch. "Thank you so much, lovely. This song means a lot to me," he kissed your nose. "I actually thought of you when I wrote this song," he confessed.

You blinked at him, your heart beating faster as you processed his words. You were kneeling on his bed as he looked up at you, pink dusted on his cheeks. Instead of saying anything, you threw yourself onto him, tightly wrapping your arms around his torso to buried your head in his neck. Heeseung let out an "oof" when you knocked him back onto his bed, his laptop on the edge of his bed.

"I love you," you mumbled.

"I love you, too," he said. His hand reached up to stroke your head as the both of you laid there in each other's embrace.

A few minutes passed and Heeseung tapped on your head to get your attention. "Hm?" you hummed in reply.

"I need to go pee, love."

"No," you said stubbornly, tightening your arms around him.

"Please, love. I'll be back fast, I promise," Heeseung told you, looking down on you.

You lifted your head to rest your chin on his chest as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Hng, fine," you pouted before you rolled off him.

"Thank you, lovely," he pecked your lips before pushing himself off his bed, not before moving his laptop to his desk.

You watched as Heeseung left his dorm to go to the restroom. You stretched your arms upwards, making grabby hands in the air before sitting up. You reached over to his desk, which was next to the bed, to get your phone when you saw Heeseung's phone lit up. You knew you shouldn't have looked but when her name was in bold white, you couldn't look away.

[4:47 pm] hyewon: can't wait to do it again hee!

"Can't wait to do it again?" You read the message out loud. Can't wait to do what again? And since when did Hyewon called him "Hee"? That was your nickname for him. The bitter feelings from winter crept back into you like the cold seeping in through the crack of your window. Why did you feel so uneasy whenever Hyewon was alone with Heeseung? Was there something going on?

No, they're just friends, Y/N, you reminded yourself. Just friends.

The door opened and your eyes snapped up to see Heeseung returning from the restroom. Suddenly, you wanted to get out of here. You don't know why, but that text message from her just rubbed you the wrong way and you wanted to get out of there before you say something you regret.

"Ryujin just texted me that she needs my help," you lied. You stood up to grab your coat and bag from the chair.

"Woah, woah, what's with the hurry?" Heeseung took a hold of your wrist as he looked at you. But your eyes didn't meet his.

"Ryujin has an emergency, she needs my help," you said again, this time firmly.

"Oh," his grip on you loosened and you pulled your hand back to you. "I'll drive you back-"

"No, it's fine," you cut him off. "I-I'll take the bus home. I'll call you tonight," the words rushed out of your lips and soon enough you were out of his door.

You did not call him that night.

You ignored Ryujin's questions when you reached your dorm, she didn't press on. Now it was Sunday morning and Ryujin had left for breakfast. You felt bad for leaving Heeseung like that and ignoring Ryujin when she just wanted to help you. And you knew you should've talked it out instead of walking out. Sighing, you curled deeper into your blanket.

After a few minutes, you threw your covers off and sat up. Maybe some warm breakfast would make you feel better. So you went down to the cafeteria to see your friends all huddled up at the corner.

"Y/N, just in time!" Jeongin called out. Curious, you walked towards them and saw that they were watching Heeseung's music video.

"The song is so sweet," Chaeryeong cooed, leaning onto you.

You let out an awkward laugh, not quite sure what to feel because of the act you pulled yesterday.

"It has almost two thousand views. I bet you must feel so proud, huh," Chaeryeong said.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you nodded. Now you feel even more bad, Heeseung wrote this song for you and you should've stayed at his dorm to celebrate with him. Instead, you left because you saw one text message without context. You were being a bad girlfriend, you should apologise to him.

"Who's the other girl? She's really pretty," Jeongin suddenly asked.

"Ah, that's Hyewon. She's his neighbour," you explained.

"Hyewon? As in Kang Hyewon?" Daehwii suddenly said. He was passing by when he heard you say her name and pulled a chair across Jeongin. You nodded. "Oh, I know her," he casually said.

You tilted your head to the side. "You do?" Jeongin leaned forward. You heard Ryujin mumble "simp" under her breath, and you bit back a laugh.

"Mhmm," Daehwii nodded and pulled out his phone. A few seconds later, he showed his phone screen and it was Hyewon's Instagram. "I went to the same high school with her, she was really popular. All the teachers said she had the face of an actress. There was a rumour that she even got scouted by an entertainment company."

Ryujin reached over to grab his phone to scroll through her account. "Woah, she has like two hundred thousand followers," she said in amazement. You leaned closer to Ryujin to check, Hyewon sure was popular.

"Yeah, she's a free-lance model and I think she models for smaller brands," Daehwii added.

You couldn't help but feel very small next to her. She was beautiful and she had somewhat of a reputation in the entertainment industry, a rising model. Imagine what kind of connections she could get for Heeseung…

"I bet Heeseung wrote this song for you," Ryujin suddenly said, smoothly switching the topic back to the song.

You felt your cheeks to warm up at her words. Sheepishly, you nodded. Your friends immediately reacted with a chorus of "ooh"s and Chaeryeong playfully nudged your shoulder. "Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have," Jeongin quoted and the rest of you fell into laughter.

After breakfast, you and Ryujin strolled back to your rooms with your arms linked together. She was telling you about what happened when you weren't here yesterday. "And then he said and I quote "sometimes bullying is okay" just as a family was walking by, the mom was literally glaring at us," you laughed as she told you. "And then- oh," she stopped, and you stopped as well. She was looking ahead of you so you followed her gaze.

"Heeseung?" His name left your lips before you could even process the whole situation.

Heeseung waved awkwardly at you, internally wincing when you used his full name. You and Ryujin exchanged a look before Ryujin pushed you towards him. You stumbled right into his arms but you took a step out of his arms, you rubbed your forearms instead.

"What are you doing here?" You asked him.

"Ah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I wanted to surprise you since you left early yesterday. I hope you were able to solve Ryujin's problem."

At the mention of Ryujin's "emergency", you stiffened because you didn't mention that you had used her in a lie. You could feel her eyes on you and mentally hope that she got the message.

"Uh, yeah. It was solved," Ryujin replied with an awkward chuckle. "Actually, I forgot I had to meet up with Chaeryeong so it was great seeing you, Heeseung." You turned around and mouthed a "thank you" at her and she gave you a look as if to say "we are going to talk about this later".

And then the two of you were left alone in the empty hallway. Was it always this awkward?

Heeseung stood awkwardly in your room. This was the first time he looked so out of place. Usually, you were the one at his dorm. He doesn't come over to yours that often since he was more busy than you. So it truly was a surprise when you saw him outside your door.

"So, uh, how are you?" He asked.

You hummed in reply. "I'm doing fine," as you sat down on your bed.

"Great! That's great," he coughed while he played with his fingers.

And then the awkward silence returns. You knew it was your fault for walking out yesterday, you probably made him think he did something wrong. When really it was just you refusing to communicate. You gripped your sheets, your mind running laps on what to say. But he beat you to it.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Your eyes snapped up to finally meet his eyes, he was looking at you with brown innocent eyes. Your heart broke a bit at the sight. "It's not you," you assured him. "It's…it's just me," you told him truthfully.

Heeseung looked at you with confusion, he didn't understand what was wrong. He wanted to help but he didn't know how. So instead, he slowly moved to sit next to you. When you did not move away, he took it as a sign of permission. So he took your hands into his, slowly rubbing circles on top of your hand.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

"Love, what are you even sorry about?" He softly asked.

"I saw you at the amusement park that day," you confessed.

Heeseung's fingers stopped moving. "Oh," was all he could say. You bit the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere shifted but you can't read him at all.

"I'm sorry," you whispered again because you didn't know what to say. "Ever since that day, I've been feeling weird whenever I see you with Hyewon and I don't like it."

"Love," he softly cupped your cheek to make you look at him, "are you perhaps jealous?" he asked with a teasing tone. You shifted your gaze to the side, you were jealous but you were reluctant to admit it. But your avoiding eyes already sold you out. Heeseung chuckled and brought you into his embrace. "There's nothing to be jealous of. Hyewon and I are just friends," he assured you.

His voice was genuine when he told you and you felt a sense of relief hearing him say those words. You fell forward to hug him and Heeseung immediately accepted you. He planted a kiss on the top of your head and sighed. "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

"Okay."

Heeseung was right, honesty was the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, Heeseung has been nothing but truthful to you since the start, and you allowed yourself to be overwhelmed by your insecurities instead of talking it out. This reminded you of when Heeseung once shut you out because he didn't want to burden you.

He hid his passion for music from you because he thought you would react like his parents, against him. He refused to tell you the truth which left you confused and hurt. Did I do something wrong? The question was constantly in your head. It wasn't until you forced it out of him, and it was the first time you saw his composed figure break down in tears. You embraced him and assured him with comforting words, you loved him at his worst.

And you told him the exact same words: "Next time we're gonna be honest with each other, okay?"

Exam season was the most painful time of your life. Everyday was the same routine: wake up, eat, study, sleep and repeat. You're starting to spend more time in the library than in the comfort of the dorm. Heeseung was just as busy as you, the both of you rarely have enough time to check up on each other. But you tried and so did he.

You plucked out your earphones and let it fall into your lap as you stretched your arms upwards. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were scattered around your shared room, with the latter laying face down on her bed. The three of you had spent your entire morning studying for your own examinations. You had sent Heeseung a quick good morning text before telling him that your phone will be on silent mode until you were done.

That was six hours ago. You pushed your laptop away from you as you reached over for your phone. You smiled when you saw your first notification was from your boyfriend.

[8:15 am] hee <3: okay remember to stay hydrated love! and take some breaks in between!!!

"Look at her, smiling all lovey dovey and shit," Ryujin sneered at you in disgust as she lifted herself onto her elbows.

You stuck your tongue out at her before typing a reply.

[3:52 pm] y/n: guess who's done studying??

While waiting for his reply, you decided to scroll through Instagram. Tapping through people's stories, you stumbled upon Hyewon's one. (She had followed you a few weeks ago.) Your thumb pressed down on your phone screen as your breath hitched. It was a photo of Heeseung, it looked like he was in the library and he was reading a book. The words "with mr. hardworking" positioned above his head. You tapped through to the next slide and it was a candid of Heeseung looking up at her with a smile, his hand outreached to grab her phone. This time the words "oops, got caught" were written on the side. You checked and saw it was posted ten minutes okay.

You frowned at the two photos. You knew Heeseung said they were just friends, but you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling away. Your mind was telling you that they weren't but your heart was with Heeseung.

"Who's that?" Chaeryeong suddenly asked.

You jump, startled. Since when was she behind you? Chaeryeong ignored your expression and leaned towards your phone. "Isn't that Heeseung? Who's he with?" She asked.

"Hyewon," you answered.

Ryujin crawled over to plop down next to you, her curious eyes peering up at your phone. "The same girl we saw at the amusement park?" The short-haired girl asked.

You looked down at her, shocked. You never told her about what you saw last winter. Ryujin understood your expression and rolled her eyes. "I'm not dumb, Y/N," she said.

Chaeryeong looked between the two of you with confusion. "Did something happen when we were at the amusement park?"

"Y/N saw Heeseung and Hyewon getting on the Ferris Wheel together."

"Ryujin!"

"What?" She shrugged at you. "We did see them there and it was the reason you were upset," she stated with her arms crossed, now sitting crossed legged next to you.

Chaeryeong gasped beside you and placed her hands in front of her mouth. "Do you think he's cheating on you?"

"Chaeryeong!" Ryujin hissed at the other girl. "Heeseung isn't the kind to do that," she defended him despite what she said before, "right, Y/N?" Ryujin nudged your elbow.

You opened your mouth to defend your boyfriend but no words were said. You bit your lips, Heeseung wouldn't be the kind to cheat, right? Then why were you hesitating? You wanted to agree with Ryujin and say that Heeseung would never cheat on you. So why were you doubting him?

"I'm just saying, long distance relationships never work out. Like Yeji and Soobin, they broke up like six months later," Chaeryeong shrugged innocently and leaned back on her hands as she spoke.

"But that was different, Yeji never really liked him anyways!" Ryujin countered.

"Vivi and Haseul! Everyone thought they were gonna last but they broke up the moment Vivi went home, and they were together for four years. Four years, Ryujin!" The younger girl exclaimed. "Point is, long distance relationships rarely work out."

Before Ryujin could retort, your phone lit up and all three of you looked down. It was a notification from Heeseung.

[4:01 pm] hee <3: hey sorry i was with taehyun

The three of you blinked at the message, Ryujin and Chaeryeong exchanged a look. While you just stared at the notification, refusing to tap into the chat. Did Heeseung just lie to you?

Something shifted in your relationship, you could tell. Calls with Heeseung were now cut short and text messages got short. At first, you blamed it on the upcoming exams and you told yourself that Heeseung was equally busy as you. Sometimes you were too tired to send a text because all you wanted was to sleep but when you tried to give him a call, he always brushed you off with a "I'm busy" text.

Text messages now never got past the "how was your day" before he said that he was going to sleep. Ever since that day with Ryujin and Chaeryeong, you turned a blind eye to the text message. Maybe he really was with Taehyun, you wouldn't actually know.

But that's the thing, isn't it? You would never know what really happens because you're not there with him, your mind taunted you. You shook away the thoughts and tried to be positive. Exams had ended a few days ago and Chaeryeong suggested that you should surprise him with a visit.

So here you were, on the bus to Heeseung's university. You could barely contain your smile, it's been so long since you last saw him and you just missed him so much. You could imagine how happy he would be to see you. An hour later, the bus came to a stop and you thanked the bus driver before boarding off.

Tightening your coat around you, you looked at the road ahead of you with a determined look. You were gonna surprise Heeseung today. And nothing was going to stop you from doing so. You reached the entrance of the school and sent a friendly smile to the security guards.

You made your way towards Heeseung's dorm, your feet have walked this path multiple times. You were familiar with these hallways. Soon enough you reached his door, you patted your clothes and fixed your hair before raising your fist. Your hand hovered in front of the wooden door, Heeseung was one door away from you. Knocking precisely three times on the door, you took a step back and clasped your hands behind you. You couldn't wait to see his smile when he sees you.

"Surprise!" You said, doing jazz hands the moment the door opened.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked you.

You blinked, slightly lowering your hands. Heeseung wasn't smiling at you like you thought he would be, instead he was looking down on you with furrowed eyebrows. His hair was dishevelled, like he ran his fingers through it multiple times and he wasn't opening the door fully, like he was blocking something.

"I was going to surprise you, since exams are over and all-"

"Why didn't you text me beforehand?" He cut you off.

You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms, annoyed that he was questioning you instead of being happy to see you. "Because it was a surprise, Hee, that's the whole point. I wasn't supposed to tell you, surprises don't work like that."

Heeseung opened his mouth but cut himself off with a sigh, he turned his head around to look inside then back at you. "I didn't mean it that way, I just wished you would've told me before," he repeated with a softer tone this time.

You frowned and dropped your arms, you shouldn't have listened to Chaeryeong. Maybe you should leave, the next bus would be in two hours. Heeseung was still leaning against his door, you couldn't see past him. "Whatever, I'll leave then," you mumbled and waved him off, turning on your heel to walk away.

"Y/N! Wait!" Heeseung called after you but you ignored his calls and just continued forward. The taller boy caught up with you and grabbed your wrist.

You tried to shake him off but his hold on you was strong. "Let me go," you said through gritted teeth.

"No, you're mad," he said.

"Of course, I am! I wanted to surprise my boyfriend after not seeing him for weeks but he doesn't even look happy to see me!" You sneered at him, still trying to shake his hand off your wrist.

Heeseung's hands moved to hold your shoulders instead to keep you in place, forcing you to look at him. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't happy to see you. I am happy to see you, okay? It's just that today's a busy day, love," he explained to you softly.

You stopped squirming and sighed. "Sorry, I just…I just really missed you okay," you told him. You overreacted and got mad at him without letting him explain himself. "Sorry," you said again.

Heeseung smiled warmly at you and pulled you into a hug. "It's okay, love," he planted a kiss on top of your head. You rested your chin on his shoulder and returned the hug.

Then, you watched as a certain blonde walked out of Heeseung's room. Hyewon stepped out of his room and waved at you with a smile. Was Heeseung hiding her? You slightly pushed Heeseung away and he took a step back in confusion. He turned around to see Hyewon and then back at you.

"Hyewon and I were working on a project," he quickly explained.

"Yeah," the other girl nodded in agreement. "If I had known you were coming today, I wouldn't have bothered Heeseung," she said.

"Ah, no. I'm sorry for interrupting the two of you," you apologised, slightly ducking your head. You're not sure if you meant the apology. Should you be sorry that you interrupted them? But Heeseung was your boyfriend.

"Well, I'll leave you two be," Hyewon smiled at the both of you before walking away.

You watched as Heeseung smiled at her and how his eyes followed her figure until she disappeared down the stairs. You bit your lower lip and clenched your fist together, feeling uneasy in your chest once again. Your hand reached to tug on his sleeve and he finally looked at you, like he forgot you were there in the first place.

He moved to hold your hand and lead you into his room, not before smiling softly at you. Instead of the usual feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever he smiled at you, there was a sinking feeling. Because he smiled at Hyewon the same way. Your lips raised a small smile for him but it didn't reach your eyes. He doesn't seem to notice.

The door closed behind the two of you and you swung your arms before clasping your hands behind you. "So, what was Hyewon doing here?" You tried to ask naturally.

Heeseung wasn't looking at you when he replied, "She was here for a project," he hummed.

"What project?" You continued to ask more.

"For school," he simply replied, taking a seat on his bed.

You leaned against his desk while nodding your head. "Ah, so you're helping her?"

"Uh huh."

"Ah, didn't know you guys were this close…"

"Well, we are neighbours so it's just natural that we grew close, you know," he shrugged.

"Close enough to get on the Ferris Wheel with," you muttered under your breath. You thought Heeseung wasn't able to pick up what you said but his eyes snapped to look at you. You gulped, knowing you were caught.

"Love, I already said that we were there for the music video shooting," he told you with a tired sigh.

"I know, I know but I can't help feeling jealous, Hee," you explained yourself.

Your boyfriend sighed exasperatedly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I already told you that we're just friends, there's nothing to be jealous of."

"Well, you would be jealous too if your boyfriend didn't mention that he was going to the amusement park with you and you found him hanging with another girl!" You scoffed sarcastically.

"I already told you it wasn't planned, Y/N. Why don't you trust me?" His voice was slightly raised when he spoke the last sentence, his expression was begging you to drop the topic.

But your stubborn self refused to let it go and stood up straighter. "Because you're making it really hard to trust you."

"What?" He looked at you in disbelief as he stood up as well. "How am I the one being hard right now? You're just being paranoid and you're letting your insecurities get the better of you!"

"Can you blame me?!" You raised your voice at him. Anger clouded your eyes as you begged him to understand your point of view. "We're so far apart and we rarely get to talk to each other and you're always brushing me off! It's almost like you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung groaned in frustration and dragged his fingers across his face. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're just friends, Y/N? Hyewon literally has nothing to do with this! I don't get why you hate her."

"Cause you talk to her while we're together," you knew that sounded childish and selfish but you were blurting whatever that came to mind.

"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to talk to other girls?" He curled an eyebrow at you while crossing his arms.

Your words were caught in your throat. "I didn't mean it like that-"

"Then what do you mean, Y/N? You never acted like this before," Heeseung rubbed his temples.

"Because!" You threw your hands out in frustration, trying to convey your words out, "I don't know what's happening in your life because we're not in the same school and I'm scared that you're cheating on me with Hyewon!"

Heeseung knitted his eyebrows at you, you don't know if it was from confusion or annoyance, maybe both. "Cheating? No, you just don't trust me! Never once did I doubt your relationship with Jeongin, so why are you doing this to me?"

"Don't bring Jeongin into this," you sneered at him, "you knew Jeongin since we were in high school. Hyewon is a completely different story. You…you look at her like…you're in love," your voice slowly died at the end, it was the final hit on the nail. You looked up at Heeseung, his eyes widened at your words.

They said the eyes are the window to your soul. Brown guilty eyes just stared at you, because you were right. Heeseung couldn't figure out his feelings and you just did it for him. Your boyfriend was falling out of love with you and he was falling for someone new. And you watched as he realised it right in front of you. You swore you heard your heart crack.

He held his head and took a step back from you, silence fell upon the both of you. "I-I think you should go," he managed to say.

"Yeah," you croaked out, your throat was swelling up. You walked past Heeseung in hurried steps and out the door to the stairs. You never saw how Heeseung dropped to his bed with his head in his head as guilty tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

God, you wished he had thought this through before you went and fell in love with him.

You haven't talked to Heeseung since that day, you knew that your relationship was over but your heart refused to believe it until those words came from Heeseung himself. A dark cloud hung over you and your friends didn't dare to ask. You felt betrayed by him.

You loved him at his worst, but that didn't matter. He gave you his word, but that didn't matter too. You were bitter, angry, devastated, heartbroken. But you couldn't cry, your heart was full of tears yet nothing came out. A single piece of tape holding back your fragile heart. A small sign of hope that you were wrong and Heeseung still loved you.

In the middle of a cold winter day, you were nestled between your warm sheets. Chaeryeong and Ryujin had left for lunch, not before promising to get you something. In the midst of your dark covers, your phone screen lit up and caught your attention.

[2:23 pm ] hee <3: We need to talk, I'm outside your door right now.

What? Your head snapped up to look at your front door. There's no way he was standing outside right now. Gulping, you pushed yourself up and walked to the door. Your hand hesitated, hovering right in front of the silver door knob. You already knew what was coming. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.

The same brown guilty eyes looked at you, and the little white lies from before all came crashing down at once. You stepped to the side to let him in and closed the door. Your back was facing him, you refused to look at him. Your hope was wavering, you don't know if you accepted it or not.

"I'm sorry," he was the first to break the silence. you still refused to turn around. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Lies, lies, lies. You shut your eyes closed, your hand was still on the door knob, holding it tightly.

He inhaled a deep breath before saying his next words, "This is the end."

The words pierced your heart and it started to fall apart. This doesn't feel like a break up, it was the end of your story. It was him telling you that he was removing himself from your life. Falling out of love hurts, but losing a friend is the worst.

"Do you still love me?"

"What?"

"Do you still love me?" You finally turned around, your glossy eyes looking right at him.

Without a heartbeat, he said, "No."

And when you were alone again in your room, your heart finally shattered and the tears poured out like a waterfall. You fell to your knees with your hands clutching your heart, ugly sobs escaped from your lips. You were crying out the pain as big fat tears dropped onto the wooden floor,

Chaeryeong and Ryujin nearly dropped the food when they found you broken on the tear stained floor.

Two weeks later (after being forced to get out of bed by Ryujin), you found your friends huddled at the same place of the cafeteria like when the music video was released. They were surrounding Daehwii with their heads ducked, whispering to each other.

"What are you guys doing?" Ryujin's voice caught their attention and their heads lifted to see the both of you, eyes widening at the sight of you.

Everyone exchanged nervous glances whereas you and Ryujin were left confused. You tilted your head to the sign to show that you were confused while Ryujin raised an eyebrow as if demanding an explanation. Chaeryeong shoved Daehwii's shoulder and gave him a look, silently telling him to break the news.

Daehwii nervously looked between you and his phone before sighing, his shoulders dropping. Instead of saying anything, he showed you his phone. Ryujin reached over to take the device from him before you could see anything and squinted her eyes. The short haired girl inhaled a sharp breath and looked at your friends, finally understanding what was happening. She then looked at you, deciding whether she should tell you or not.

"What?" You asked her, your eyebrows furrowed as your patience was running thin. What were they not telling you?

But instead of telling you, she showed you. The phone screen displayed an Instagram post with a person holding hands with someone else. The caption was a simple "with him". At first you were confused on what it had to do with you, then Ryujin tapped on the post to show you the person tagged in the post. Heeseung's username appeared, your eyes travelled up to the owner of the post and it read Hyewon's name.

"Oh," was all you could say.

Your gaze averted down and you don't see how your friends exchange worried glances. "Y/N..." Chaeryeong softly called out to you while she walked towards you. She angled her head to look at your face with her arms around you.

Your mind was a mess, it took him two weeks to find someone new. No, not someone new. It took him two weeks to go off and date her. He talked to her when you were together. And you knew if he truly loved you, there was no damn way he could fall in love with somebody that quickly. Ryujin and Chaeryeong embraced you but you felt numb. He betrayed you. And you knew that he'll never feel sorry for the way you hurt.

"He cheated on you," you heard Jeongin say, but you shook your head as you tried to rub the tears away.

"Guess he didn't cheat but he's still a traitor," Jeongin rephrased.

The girls hugged you tighter when you let out a choked sob. Jeongin was right, he didn't cheat but he was a traitor. You played dumb but you always knew that he'd talk to her, maybe did even worse but you kept quiet so you could keep him.

God you wished that he had thought it through, before you went and fell in love with him.

a/n: this took so long to write and i wrote more than i expected. thank you for waiting and reading this, see y'all in "drivers license"!

#chaeryybomb; the sour series #enhypen #lee heeseung #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung imagines #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung #heeseung imagines #heeseung x reader #enhypen angst #lee heeseung angst #heeseung angst #kpop imagines #enhypen scenarios #lee heeseung scenarios #heeseung scenarios

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shurisneakers · 4 years

Text

harmless (iv)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, guns, mention of war, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: good evening i’ve never been to any of the places i mention in this series so dont come @ me

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He spends the weekend doing nothing. It’s supposed to be relaxing. He finds it nauseatingly boring.

“No mini mission this week?” Steve asks him from across the couch.

They’re supposed to be catching up on Star Wars but two prequels in and Bucky could feel himself lose his sanity. Anyone could present him with a random assortment of alphabets, call it a Star Wars species and he would have no reason not to believe them.

It’s not like he doesn’t like space. It’s just that he’s had enough of it and everything and everyone who came from it for the foreseeable future.

“No. Someone else is taking care of it.”

“Didn’t you volunteer for this?”

“I pulled myself out of the case.”

“I thought you were having fun.”

Bucky’s head slowly turns to look at him. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged. “Looked like you were.”

Well, he wasn’t. He likes it here at home, glued to the TV. Popcorn beside him, sweatpants on. Refreshing, calming, slow, mundane, and Jesus Christ, so fucking boring-

His spiralling is interrupted by the dinging of the elevator to the common floor. No one was allowed up there unless it was extremely urgent. Guests were barely allowed into the Tower as it was.

It reveals the receptionist from downstairs, Marie. She’s always a little reserved, a little shy. But Bucky had seen her chew and spit out trespassers or anyone who dared to get on her nerve. He adores her.

“Hey, Marie,” Steve says while Bucky sends her a friendly wave in greeting. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a hostage situation downtown,” she informs them.

“Okay...” Steve drawls, waiting for a reason why this was an Avengers level threat.

“They’ve asked for Mr. Barnes by name.” She makes a mention towards him.

Bucky sits up straight. Bits of popcorn fall off his chest.

“What?”

“They said, and I quote-” she looks down at her notepad. “‘Tell that grumpy motherfucker that I’m waiting for him and that he’s not getting out of this so easily because we have come too far.’ End quote. They’ve also told me to include a kissing emoji. And a skull.”

Steve and he look at each other.

“Well?” Steve prods.

Bucky sighs and gets up to go get ready.

The entrance of Chuck E. Cheese is more crowded than he’d ever seen. He wasn’t even sure he’d seen people in the store before. If there were, they probably only came up till his waist.

There are a few journalists, a few policemen standing together outside. Whispers of confusion and curiosity reigned free.

Bucky gently pushes his way to the front. He gets a nod from a police officer who opens the door for him after a quick briefing.

The place is darker than it usually would be. A trademark, it seemed. The blinds are drawn shut and most of the light is coming through whatever sneaks in through the crack.

“Hey, Barnes.” Your voice is muffled by a mask that looks suspiciously like it was made out of classroom craft supplies.

There’s a person in a loose chokehold in your hand with a gun pressed against his head. Once again it looks straight out of a cartoon, purple with round disks lining its barrel.

“What’s all this now?” He gestures around monotonously.

“A hostage situation. Didn’t you get the memo?”

“Got that part down, genius,” he bites back. “But why?”

“Fucker kept harassing me when I was walkin’ down the street.”

The guy’s helpless gaze met Bucky.

“Catcalling me, stalking me.” You tighten the grip you have on him. “Call me darlin’ one more time, you son of a bitch. I dare you.”

He wasn’t impressed with his pleading eyes. He kinda felt like he deserved it.

“Why’d you do it here?” The bright colours were starting to give him a heading. “And where are the staff?”

“It’s symbolic, Bucky,” you emphasise, “He deserves to be among other rat bastards.”

Of course.

“The staff?” he asks again.

“Gave them thirty bucks and told them to leave. I’m not a monster.”

“Right.” He doesn’t bother refuting you. “Why’d you call me here?”

“Dunno.” You shrug. “Thought it’d be fun. You having fun yet?”

You shake the guy you’re holding. He gives a small whimper.

Bucky doesn’t want to stop you. He had chugged enough Respect Juice in his lifetime to know that this guy probably deserved a threat or two.

Hell, he’d even help but you were more than capable of handling this on your own.

“Listen,” he sighed. “As much as I’m sure he deserves it, this is technically illegal and I’m required to stop you.”

“Sorry sarge, I thought you weren’t interested in playing this stupid game with me,” you mock, voice dropping to imitate him.

“I’m not.” It wasn’t entirely true. One Saturday with Jar Jar Binks had convinced him otherwise.

“Okay, so before you leave, do me a favour and call Hawkeye. I hear he looks mighty fine when he’s annoyed.”

His face involuntarily scrunched up. You were going to replace him with Clint? Clint?

He probably took it more as an insult than he should have.

“I’m not doing that.” Bless his foul mouthed friend, but he was a little shit who was too sarcastic for his own good. At least twice a week he’d say something stupid to Bucky and then take out his hearing aids when he tried to argue back.

“You’re leavin’ me with no options here,” you groaned, using your thumb to flip a switch. The gun looks like it powered up, lights along the side turning red.

If he let you have this, it’d be a bad look for the Avengers.

New York man dies in Chuck E. Cheese lone hostage situation, unable to be saved by same superhero who tried to fight Thanos with a machine gun.

“Tell ya what,” he says instead, “If you kill him, there won’t even be a slight chance that you’ll see me again.”

Your grip on the gun falters.

“If I let him go...”

“I might consider coming back next week.” He’s trying to spin it, make it look like he’s the one with the upper hand here. “But you gotta let him go.”

You search his face for any signs of dishonesty.

“Let him go or you’ll never see me again.” It sounds too much like Clint’s arguments with his dog who brought a live squirrel into the house.

“Fine,” you relent, a glint in your eye. “but say goodbye to this fuckface.”

Before Bucky can open his mouth to shout in protest, you pull the trigger. The man clenches his eyes shut, face red.

He expects blood to be splatter across his face.

Nothing happens.

A barrage of bubbles floats into the room.

“I meant it literally,” you say, pushing him off you. “Say goodbye. He’s leaving.”

The man stumbles to the ground and Bucky doesn’t make any attempt to catch him. He scrambles to his knees, picking himself up and scurrying out the door to a hoard of reporters.

The door shuts behind him with the chime of a bell.

“You’re annoying,” Bucky states, giving a small sigh.

“I’m well aware of that.” You pull off the mask, wiping the sweat off your brow.

“Where is the agent assigned to your case?”

“Dunno. Last I saw he was crying on the driveway of my lair. I just figured he’d pick himself up later so I left him there.”

Bucky’s nose twitches.

“You weren’t actually going to kill him, were you.” He shrugs with his shoulder towards the door. It wasn’t a question, more a statement. He knew you wouldn’t.

“I could have.”

“But you weren’t going to,” he repeats.

“No,” you admit. “I wasn’t. But I’m glad to see you showed up.”

“You held someone hostage as leverage.”

“No, no. I held someone hostage and then asked to see you. They were completely unrelated.”

“You’re evil.”

“You jumped to conclusions,” you point out. “Would you like a trampoline next time? Maybe a pogo stick, you clown?”

He has a very real gun in his holster. His very real metal death arm aches to use it.

“No one else agreed to come,” he deflects.

“We both know that’s a lie. You were going to come back anyway.” You stuff the bubble gun back into the bag. “I’m deliciously irresistible.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Then beg.” You give him a smirk and he rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, you win this round, sarge.”

He doesn’t say anything. He watches you remove your heist gear, revealing normal civilian clothes underneath.

You walk casually to the kitchen, intending to leave through the back door.

“But I can’t say I lost either.” You send him a wink before swiftly pushing open the door and leaving him behind.

He only watches you leave.

It doesn’t hit him until a few seconds later that he let a criminal out of his hands when there were several policemen and journalists outside.

He entertains the idea of chasing you down and handing you over.

It takes him only a few seconds to decide that if they wanted you, they’d have to try themselves.

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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luvyanfei · 4 years

Text

anon said. how about fluffy hcs with xiao, zhongli and xingqui taking their s/o out on a first date?

XIAO.

he already finds it difficult just to ask you to hold him without losing his cool, so how can he possibly bring up the idea of inviting you on a date? actually, he probably never knew the word ‘date’ even existed until he heard a passing couple staying over at wangshu inn dreamily talking about how they wish they could go to see the lantern rite festival in liyue harbor together for their first date. a first date, huh? now that he thinks about it, xiao never did properly try to court you, did he? it was always you who approached him first, who held your hand out to him, who confessed that you love him. you’re already giving so much dedication in this relationship. it’s the least he can do to return your affections, not just because he’s feeling a bit indebted, but because he’s your lover. unfortunately, being the awkward yaksha that he is, xiao overthinks the situation and complicates it more than he should.

every chance he gets is blown up by his anxiousness. whenever you come and visit him at the inn, you almost think that he’s angry with you from the way he throws you vicious glares. unbeknownst to you, xiao is actually making that tense face because he’s trying very hard, too hard in fact, to think of the best way to ask you out on a date and seeing you just makes him all the more nervous. he regrets it every time you step into the elevator while giving him a goodbye wave and saying you’ll come visit again. sure, he gets another chance to try and ask you out again, but he also has another chance to fail as well.

when you visit him for lunch, xiao quickly rehearses the words he wants to say to you in the back of his head before coming to greet you. ‘i overheard from a guest in the inn talking about a lantern rite festival. if you mortal, no, [name], desires to go, i can possibly set aside time to accompany you.’ keep it cool, yet short. taking a deep breath to compose himself, xiao walks over to greet you, er, well actually, you’re the one doing the greeting instead, and you settle down to eat. the sweet taste of the almond tofu that you generously bought for him blossoms in his mouth and he loses track of time till your departure. before you leave once more to allow the poor yaksha to wallow in his self-regret again, you stop yourself and turn around to face xiao. tucking your hair behind your ear and giving your best, most radiant smile you can offer to him, you shyly ask if he’d like to tag along with you to the lantern rite festival. “we’ve never been on a date before and i’d love to go to the festival with you and release xiao lanterns together.”

... what? how? his mouth almost opens up in disbelief, as he struggles to keep a stoic expression. ex-excuse him?! that’s supposed to be his line! he’s in shock at how easily you were able to say something that he’s been having trouble sputtering out. you mortals never fail to surprise him. he shakes his head and bitterly scowls, that you almost step back in fright. almost, until he starts speaking, that is. “why is it you? i should have been the one to ask you on a date first, not you!” he’s almost on the brink of tears from the frustration he currently holds on himself.

a relationship is always about give and take, no? it’s like when zhongli has so kindly decided to save him from the clutches of the cruel abuse he endured endlessly, of course he was forever in debt to rex lapis. surely, it’s the same with you, isn’t it? when xiao tells you this, you immediately start laughing. you calmly explain to him that your relationship isn’t like a form of contract where he’s expected to always repay you back for every gift you give to him. as long as he’s there for you, that’s more than enough of a reward, you say, before plopping a chaste kiss to his cheek.

“finally, you’re here. what took you so long?” xiao speaks to you with indifference concealing the relief that you actually came. he trails his sharp eyes to inspect your dressed up form and blushes slightly. “you look nice.”

immediately, your eyes widen at his underhanded compliment. did- did you hear that right? biting his lower lip gently, xiao clasps your hand in his, ignoring your astounded reaction, as he squeezes it reassuringly while watching the colourful fireworks light up the murky night.

without thinking, he turns to you when you’re focused on the display of bursting lights reflecting in your eyes, and murmurs to himself softly, “i hope you’ll spend the rest of your time with me, for however long it’ll last.”

XINGQIU.

of course, a date with xingqiu has to be extravagant and sophisticated to the last touch, right? guess again. he may come from a wealthy family, but that doesn’t mean he shares the same interest a selfish, pampered noble may have. he prefers something more simple, yet sentimental. confined in his household with nothing to do but bury his head in a book, he’s picked up some ideas for your date from the romance stories he’s read. surprisingly, they’re all rather cliché.

the first thing he makes you guys do is go out in the blazing summer day to get yourselves a cool beverage. he explicitly asks the cashier to give him one straw [do they even exist in the game?] and smiles slyly as he thanks them and brings the drinks to you. when you ask about it, thinking that maybe he forgot, all he does is smirk before saying, “there’s no need, my liege. we can share, unless you’d rather melt in the sweltering sun, that is.” he winks teasingly. you... don’t really have much of a choice in the matter. as you stroll around the harbor together, you take turns drinking from the only straw and a wave of consciousness washes over you gradually. wait, isn’t this like an indirect kiss? you place a hand to your gaping mouth after sucking on the straw that xingqiu pressed his lips on merely seconds ago. you should know by now, how bold he is underneath his polite façade.

after you finish sipping your drink - tediously at that, you both agree on going to the library to read books together since the heat is pretty unbearable to do anything enjoyable. xingqiu recommends you to try reading some of his personal favorites and you do the same as well. he’s thrilled to have a reading buddy now since it’s boring being here by himself.

while you’re immersed in the novel that you randomly picked from the bookshelf, every now and then, xingqiu will look up from the pages of his book and faintly smile to himself, glad that you’re enjoying yourself.

the sun was setting and the stars started to appear in the pastel pink and orange of the evening sky. you place back the last book and stretch your arms, before turning to xingqiu. sighing, you give him a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek and softly say your farewell.

as you’re about to make your leave for the day, xingqiu halts you with his words, “wait. there’s something i need to do before we can end this date.” nonchalantly, he plucks a book from its shelf, opens its pages, and uses it to block the sunlight drifting through the transparent window glass, effectively shielding his vision from the public eye as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss.

his free hand finds its way combing through the back of your head to deepen the kiss. when he’s satisfied enough, the boy detaches his lips from yours and lightly rubs the flesh of your cheek with a finger, while placing the book down on a nearby table. you keep your eyes fixated on him as he licks the edges of his lips.

“that felt nice,” xingqiu murmurs, “you’re so sweet, i’d hate for anyone else to savor in this pleasant moment with you other than i. shall we continue this again on our next date too?”

ZHONGLI.

the first thing he does is make sure to bring mora, this time. it would be highly inconsiderate of mr. zhongli to have you pay for the expenses of this fine date. he’s one to take things nice and slow. sure, time is unfortunately measured and limited, but he wants to make the most of it with you, a mortal who, just like any other being, has a beginning and end to your life. zhongli wants to shower you in all the beauty and joy this world has to offer while you’re still here with him.

he may be a gentle-spoken and polite individual, but please don’t mistaken him as being shy in any way. he shows up to your residence one afternoon and presents you a bouquet of your preferred flowers while he asks if you would consider accompanying him on a date. you take the bundled up flowers, carefully stroking a petal as if it’s made of fragile glass and accepts his proposal with open arms.

he takes you out to an expensive restaurant in the night of liyue and helps you select the best dishes. after you’re finished with your lavish and sophisticated meals, zhongli ushers you outside where you’re greeted with fresh air, a contrast to the suffocation you felt back at the restaurant. sure, the place is grand and your hunger is well-satiated, yet despite wearing your best clothing, you felt out of place there, like a commoner surrounded by nobles.

when you express your earlier discomfort to zhongli, his eyes are filled with shame and he’s already apologizing like the gentleman he is. guiltily, you tell him it’s fine and you ask if you can show him something before you have to head on home. he ponders in thought before agreeing, walking hand in hand with you to your unknown destination.

the chilling night breeze bites at your bare skin as you instantly shiver. this doesn’t go unnoticed in zhongli’s sharp eyes and he’s already unbuttoning his jacket. he drapes the coat over your shoulder blades and rubs his gloved hands on your cold fingertips to preserve warmth. “are you feeling cold perhaps? maybe we should head back?” you stop him before he can guide you back to the harbor.

“i’m okay now. thank you for your concern.” you say to ease his poor mind. he nods and you both continue on. the walk uphill takes a while, but it’s worth it when you finally reach the top. your eyes widen in amazement as you witness the glimmering stars splayed across the pitch darkness of the sky. “zhongli, look. do you like it?” he simply nods, but all of his attention is focused on you.

zhongli grins down at your childishly excited face, pausing for a hesitant minute before he carefully places his hands on top of your shoulders. you look up at him in confusion and is about to question him, but any sound that comes out is cut off by his lips ensnaring yours in a kiss. you’re astounded by his intimate move, but you revel in his touch in a matter of seconds.

he hopes, as he tightens his hold, that you’ll stay with him always, till your last breath.

tagging. @scarymoosh

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x reader #xingqiu x reader #xiao x reader

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biletdoux · 4 years

Text

stages of love | j.jh

Pairing | jung jaehyun (nct) + female!reader Rating | M Genre + Tropes | college!au, romance (angst, fluff, smut) Warnings | explicit language, alcohol consumption, instant love?, sexual content (drunk sex, receiving and giving oral, penetration, cow girl position, nipple play), greyzone fidelity Length | 15k+

Summary | A playlist for the trials and tribulations of a beating heart

(Or; your relationship with Jung Jaehyun in ten songs.)

Note: ahhhhhhh!!!! we finally did it boisssss. this fic has been a long time coming and honestly im sick and tired of jaehyun. i’ve spent too long thinking about him for this fic smh. this is also my first time writing smut so we’ll see how that goes lmao. anyway this was a long labor of love so please let me know what you thought of it !!! <333

1. Peach by IU

smitten at first sight.

“How can I explain this feeling?”

“Alright, I think that sums up about everything we need to cover for today’s lecture. Remember, most of this will be on your final exam. Any questions before you’re all dismissed?”

Your professor looks up from the board, scans the room and all he sees are most of the students waiting with bated breath, itching to leave the class, and half of those students having already packed their belongings in anticipation. He held them back an extra twenty five minutes today, which is notably longer than previous lectures in which he delayed dismissal.

“Okay, you’re free to go. Chapters nineteen and twenty are due the next time we meet.”

You breathe out a sigh of relief, ready to head out with the rest of the class. You like Professor Jang and find that he makes history somewhat digestible, but he has a tendency to lose track of time, which is inconvenient, but more so today since you have agreed to meet up with Yeri. You glance at your phone to see text notifications and curse to yourself. You’re already ten minutes late and Yeri is many things and impatient is one of them.

You’re one of the first out of the small lecture hall and you shoot her a quick reply before making your way to the oncampus cafe. Through quickened strides and shortcuts engrained from cross-campus treks from class to class, you arrive in record time. You’re slightly out of breath and impressed by your speed, but you stop, frozen in your tracks when you see Yeri’s displeased face. You find her situated in a small, but cozy corner next to the windows, already unpacked with notebooks and papers strewn on the desk ready to review for exams. It's one of the best study spots in the cafe and you immediately know your best friend had to come extra early to nab such a sought after table.

“About time,” she scowls, “what took you so long?”

You shoot her an apologetic look, “aww, Yeri,” you pout your lips a little too dramatically, “I’m sorry. I just came from history and you know how Professor Jang is.”

Yeri looks at your jutted lips in disgust, but then her face softens in consideration. “Hm, I do know Jang.” She scrunches up her nose remembering her time in his class last semester. “That old man can talk for days on end and he never lets anyone leave class early. I guess I’ll let you go this time.”

You beam at her knowing she’s no longer angry for your tardiness. “Great, drinks are on me today. It’s the least I can do for being late.” Yeri forgives as easily and as quickly as she loses her temper. You learned this after a few weeks of being her roommate.

Yeri says nothing in silent agreement and you place your stuff down across the table next to the chair she reserves for you. You pull out your wallet and weave through the packed cafe to head to the order counter. The line is long and you patiently review the menu. Your roommate has consistent tastes and always orders a vanilla frappuccino regardless of which cafe she goes to, but you base your decision on your mood. You mull over your choices and by the time you reach the barista taking your order, you decide you’re in an ‘iced Americano’ kind of mood today. You have exams on top of exams you need to review for and a stronger caffeine kick is much needed.

After paying, you head back to the table with two drinks in tow. Yeri takes her drink and after you both take a few sips and catch up for the day, you dive straight to work. The two of you decide to review for statistics.

Between re-summarizing chapters and answering review questions, you muse to yourself about how your college experience thus far hasn't been that much different from your high school life. You didn’t necessarily hate high school, per say, but it was safe to say you didn’t enjoy it. Your heart was in the arts, specifically music, and you had found studying the core subjects to be boring and tedious. You remember being ecstatic to have been accepted and enrolled in a performing arts college, foolishly thinking your days of solving differential equations and memorizing chemical formulas were over. You specifically remember daydreaming of your hours being filled with keyboard practice and composition notes and only such things. Somehow the reality of mandatory general education courses slipped your mind when you constructed such fantasies.

Despite frivolous and preconceived notions of college, you have already survived a semester and you are nearly through your second.

“Hey, do you remember when this stats assignment is due?” Yeri’s inquiring voice snaps you out of your brief reverie and you search your cluttered brain for a date.

“Uh, I think it’s due, like, a few days before the final, but I’d have to double check.”

Yeri nods. “Alright, well let’s take a small break. We have some time till then, we don’t have to finish all of it today.”

You happily agree and set down your pen. Yeri takes a sip of her frappuccino and you lean over the table to get closer to her. “Anyway, did you hear about what happened with Jiwon and Youngjae from the entertainment management department?”

Her eyes glisten with wicked interest. “No. Do tell.”

Break time is always synonymous with gossip hour between you and Yeri.

You spend the next fifteen minutes dishing what you know and Yeri offers her own input whenever she feels fit.

“And they think they’re being discreet, but the whole dorm knows they’ve been sneaking around, but guess wha─” Before you can finish your sentence, you are cut off by a loud and energetic voice calling out Yeri’s name.

The two of you look up to see a slim and boyish brunet waving to Yeri and excitedly making his way to your table. He looks vaguely familiar, but you can’t quite place your finger on it, so you let it go.

He smiles happily at Yeri and greets her. “Hey Yeri, how’s it going?” He notices you there and gives you a polite wave, which you return in the same manner.

Yeri replies back breezily, but with her full attention. “Good. Did you need anything, Mark?”

He flushes just the slightest bit, but it doesn’t escape your eyes. “Erm, nothing I just wanted to remind you that we’re meeting for the music theory project tomorrow at four. I would’ve texted, but I forgot to get your number in class, and I saw you here and thought it was a good opportunity to tell you.”

Yeri’s eyes widen, “ah right! I completely forgot about it. It’s a good thing you found me here today, huh? Here, I’ll give you my number.”

She reaches her hand out her hand expectantly, and Mark is confused before scrambling to pull out his phone. You can tell Mark looks flustered while Yeri is calmly putting in her contact information. After finishing, she hands his phone back, “okay, all set. Just shoot me a text so I have your number as well. Thanks for reminding me today or I probably would’ve forgotten and not have shown up or something.”

Mark smiles again, this time a little more sure than before. “All good. I’ll see you tomorrow, Yeri.”

They wave goodbye and you watch Mark scamper from the cafe. Your eyes follow him, but Yeri is already focused on you again, paying Mark’s retreating form no mind.

“So…” you start.

“So?” She returns.

“He’s cute.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged. “I barely know him though. We have music theory together, but this is the first time we’ve talked all semester and we’re only talking because we got paired up for a project.”

Yeri seems apathetic and you study her closely. You notice she’s acting a little too stiffly carefree to be truly indifferent to the situation. You can’t help, but to tease her a bit. “Well, make the most out of this project then.”

Yeri gives you a hard look and you decide to let it go despite finding your best friend’s situation to be amusing.

“Anyway, keep telling me about Jiwon and Youngjae. You never finished.” Yeri changes the topic, knowing that you might decide to pester her again if she doesn’t.

“As I was saying,” you started up again. A figure outside catches your attention and you peer outside through the window past Yeri’s shoulders. You realize it’s Mark and you watch with interest as he gestures excitedly, pointing to something in his hand, you assume his phone, to some of his friends. From there your eyes wander absentmindedly from one person to the next, and it’s when you see him.

The reaction is almost instantaneous.

“Like you were saying?” Yeri urges, but her words fall on deaf ears, for all your attention is captured by the boy next to Mark with heart-shaped lips.

When you see said boy laugh, you notice he has moon for eyes and you unconsciously suck in a sharp breath. You must have been staring too intently without noticing because he turns his head in your direction and you two hold direct eye contact. Like a deer caught in headlights, you freeze and lose all rational thought. Your head is completely blank. You have never seen someone so beautiful and your mind does not know how to process any sensory information at the moment.

Someone calls the boy away and the entire group of friends leave. It’s only then do you find yourself releasing a breath you didn’t know you had been holding onto so tightly. Your heart is pounding and you feel as though blood is rushing through your ears.

“Hello?” Yeri sounds annoyed, but you struggle to find the words to answer her.

You feel a sudden heat rush to color your cheeks a vibrant red and a feeling surges through you that leaves you out of breath and weak at the knees. A steady warmth washes over you quietly and you feel it deep within yourself and you can’t help but let out a small laugh.

How silly, you muse. Not to be dramatic, but you think you’re in love.

2. Shadow by f(x)

adoration from afar.

“I’m really really into you.”

The next few weeks are packed to the brim with assignments and papers, but despite this, you still find time for your personal research into the boy who was with Mark that day.

Being the obvious first and easiest option, you beg Yeri to ask Mark directly about his friend, but she immediately shoots you down.

“No. Absolutely not. At least not anytime soon anyway,” she huffs. “I’ve barely held two full conversations with him, like hell the next is gonna be about his friend just cause my best friend started thirsting over him after one glance. I mean come on, girl.” She shakes her head at you.

Yeri’s right and you apologize to her for being thoughtless of her situation. She doesn’t say it, but she seems really hopeful about the music theory project and what might bloom from it. You would not want to impede on such possibilities of happiness for your friend, so you let that option go, but Yeri promises to help in other ways and she does.

Somehow between caffeine fueled cram sessions and sleep deprivation, you, with Yeri’s help manage to find out more about the boy. You casually ask around in your contemporary writing and production department and she offers help by searching her vocal performance department.

You find out his name is Jung Jaehyun and he’s a third year in the musical theatre department and that he’s a member of the local chapter of the performing arts fraternity on campus. You also discover his Instagram handle and you find yourself skimming through his page throughout the day more often than you’re willing to admit to any living soul.

You occasionally see him around campus since you first saw him at the cafe and each time, you can feel your heart hammer in your chest and you become so flustered to the point of your sympathetic nervous system activating. Unfortunately for you, your body unconsciously chooses flight each and every time at the sight of Jaehyun because you can always feel your knees go weak and your body lurch away to escape in any direction that isn’t Jaehyun’s. You kind of hate yourself each time you do, but you can’t help it. He’s just so pretty that it’s intimidating!

You try to think positive after the bouts of shame you experience after each escapade.

Well there’s no way to embarrass yourself in front of him if you run away before having the chance to, right?

Even thinking about it now in the comfort of your bed, you can’t shake your self-consciousness and bury your face in a large pillow resting on your knees. Your cheeks are burning and you don’t know what to do.

“Hey, why don’t you just talk to him, instead of moping all day and stalking his profile like a creep.” Yeri’s crisp words cut through your musings and you glance up to see her entering your shared room in the dorms.

“Shut up. It’s not like I have a benevolent match-making professor who happens to pair me up with my crush for an end-of-semester project.” You retort back before sighing dramatically, “I literally have no excuse to talk to him. We’re not in the same year or major. We don’t even have mutual friends. Unless, y’know, you and Mark hit it off, who knows.”

Yeri sits down next to you on your small twin bed, resting her head on your shoulder while letting out an equally dramatic sigh, “yeah, well, Mark’s so dense, all the divine intervention in the world isn’t going to help me.”

You let out snort, “what’s up with you two anyway?”

“Y’know, I could’ve sworn he was into me and I had a chance with him, but every time we meet up we literally only work on the project and nothing else. Every time I sort of tried to do something I get shot down. Like I told him I was kind of chilly today in the library, and he looks all thoughtful for a moment but all he ends up saying is ‘yeah, all the buildings on campus are always cold, huh? Good thing I always bring a jacket with me. You should bring one too next time, I don’t want you getting cold.’ And then he just turns back to the project like nothing. Can you believe him?” Yeri complains and you swear her annoyance is palpable. “And every time I text him to hangout, he thinks it’s to work on the project. I honestly can’t tell if he’s really that stupid or if he’s just not into me.”

You laugh at her unfortunate, but undeniable state of love affairs.

“Really? That bad? I remember him being all blushy when he asked for your number,” you recall. “And you should’ve seen how he looked when he showed off he got your number. Well that’s what it looked like anyway, I could be wrong.”

“Well, at least I’ll get a good grade though. Mark is nothing if not diligent and hard-working, with him being a double major and all.” Yeri sounds resigned however, she sighs again, this time more frustrated and you hear the determination in her voice. “Alright, after finals, for sure we’re gonna hit the clubs. We need to let loose, have some fun.”

You agree with her to appease her short temper, but deep down you feel disappointed. You feel sorry for your friend, having genuinely wanted Mark and her to work out, but a small and selfish part of you felt sorry for having no bridge to Jaehyun at all if it didn’t work out between Yeri and Mark. Looks like you were stranded now and you’d have to find a way to Jaehyun one way or another, but your line of help ends here.

Shaking away such negative thoughts, you think to yourself how soju bombs and dance floors don’t so bad after such an intense exam period after all. It will definitely take your mind off of things for sure.

And even though you say this to yourself, you know your mind will still be plagued with Jung Jaehyun no matter how much you try.

3. What Is Love by EXO-K

careful contemplation.

“I can’t explain what I feel.”

“Mark, tell me you did not.” The disbelief in Johnny’s voice made the situation all the more hilarious and even Jaehyun, who’s the calmer of the two, couldn’t suppress the guffaw from escaping his lips.

The tips of Mark’s ears flush a light pink and he tries to deliver a convincing argument, but all that comes out is a meek stammer, further driving Johnny up the wall.

When Mark came up to his and Johnny’s room asking for advice, Jaehyun had an idea of where it was going to lead, considering Mark’s clueless disposition and inexperienced track record, but Jaehyun had no idea it was going to be this bad.

Mark, having developed a crush on a fellow vocal performance major in his music theory class, came to Johnny, his frat big, to spill his guts and ask for advice constantly. Being Johnny’s roommate, meant Jaehyun was also privy to all the details of Mark’s love life and he had no problem giving advice to the amusing first year student, which Mark appreciated because going to Johnny meant a clowning session before he could get any useful nuggets of information.

When Mark’s music theory professor randomly assigned the two for the end of semester project, Mark was one part excited and two parts nervous, resulting in a frazzled mess. He has been going up to the second room on the right of the second floor of the frat house almost every other day to ask for advice since then.

Johnny was thrilled when he initially heard of the project, already envisioning his little’s love prospects, stating something along the lines of “my little’s gonna get laid!”

However, now looking at Johnny rubbing his temples in exasperation, Jaehyun can tell that his roommate’s initial enthusiasm has dissipated.

Mark’s daily roadblock today consisted of his crush giving him the cold shoulder and being much more snappy than before in the project meet up earlier. Mark recalls Yeri’s anger toward him and racks his brain for an answer. Even Johnny and Jaehyun are stumped at the sudden behavior, assuming that things were going smoothly from Mark’s previous reports filled with clumsy, but endearing and ultimately positive signs. It’s only when Mark offhandedly mentions her so-called ‘strange’ comment about the temperature, does it become clear why Yeri’s attitude suddenly shifted so drastically.

“I mean, I don’t know what I did wrong.” Mark’s second attempt to defend himself has Johnny flaring his nostrils in indignation and Jaehyun has to turn away in an attempt to stifle his laughter.

“Dude, she’s so into you. Or, at least she was, I don’t know about it anymore.” Johnny starts after calming down. “She left herself wide open for you to take a clear shot and you effectively said to her face, ‘thanks but no thanks’ and then walked away. No wonder she’s pissed, I’d be pissed too.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do then?” Mark counters.

“Mark,” Johnny begins, his tone dry and coarse, “you’re killing me.”

Jaehyun deems this the perfect time to step in, the laughter about done coursing through his system at this point. He clears his throat before offering his input, “It’s not too, too bad. Johnny’s just being dramatic. If she likes you enough, she’ll probably forgive you if you play your cards right from here on out.”

Mark perks up, his attention solely on Jaehyun.

Jaehyun hums absentmindedly to himself, gathering and organizing his thoughts to properly explain exactly where and how Mark went wrong and what to do moving forward. When Jaehyun opens his mouth to speak, Mark is glued on to every word and Jaehyun can see the gears in his brain whirring at high speeds.

By the time Jaehyun is done, Johnny has calmed down and Mark nods his head fervently in understanding.

“Ah, that makes so much sense now! I got it now.”

Despite his assurances, both Johnny and Jaehyun know Mark will be back soon.

“Alright little, listen up,” Johnny starts. “Here’s the game plan from here on out.”

Johnny goes off on a sermon, determined to help his little ‘get some’ as Johnny so delicately puts it. Jaehyun can see it’s not the most tasteful of word choice for Mark to hear, but the youngest says nothing.

Lounging lazily in the bean bag on his side of the room, Jaehyun knocks his head back and thinks of a few weeks back when he accompanied Mark and some other frat members to the rec center for some basketball. Jaehyun remembers Mark was bemoaning the fact he forgot to ask for some girl’s number and it was as if a higher entity heard the boy’s laments and felt especially gracious, because right as they were passing the cafe, Mark stopped in his tracks and suddenly ran off into the busy building.

The group of frat boys watched him excitedly weave his way through the crowd of bodies and occupied tables to reach a table with two girls. When they saw the girl putting her number into Mark’s phone, Johnny elbowed Jaehyun, and like a proud parent Johnny exaggeratedly acknowledged his little. “They grow up so fast, don’t they, Jaehyun.” Johnny even wiped an imaginary tear from his eye to really send the message home.

It was only a few moments later and Mark came bounding out of the cafe, eager to show everyone how lucky it was that he happened to see her. “I mean what are the odds, right?” the said boy exclaimed so happily, his cheer so infectious, Jaehyun couldn’t help himself from letting out a laugh of his own.

Jaehyun turned to give Mark an encouraging pat on the back and it’s when he notices a pair of eyes on him. He turns fully to come in the direct line of sight of a girl whose eyes, Jaehyun imagined to have been very warm, had they not been burning holes into him. Her intense gaze slightly unnerved him, but not to the point of pulling away. He found himself entranced and the only thing that broke the quick spell was Johnny’s voice, calling him to move it along.

Jaehyun recalls easily breaking eye contact and giving little thought to the strange girl with fire for eyes, but as the days passed, Jaehyun couldn’t shake the thought of her from his mind.

Even now in the comfort of his room and with Johnny and Mark not even a foot away, carefully planning Mark’s love endeavors, all Jaehyun’s mind can really focus on is the thought of you.

Jaehyun is sure he’s only looked at you for less than a minute, but somehow he’s able to clearly trace out the image of you that day, like a perfect snapshot.

“Yo Jaehyun,” Johnny calls. “You good? You’ve been spacing out, bro.”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Jaehyun answers offhandedly, before contemplating to himself. Was he good? Jaehyun wouldn’t necessarily say he’s bad in any way, but it isn’t normal for him to have the thought of a girl remain so clearly engraved in his mind for so long, and even less common for it to actually be a girl he doesn’t even know nonetheless. It’s not a pressing issue, but it does bother him. He weighs over the next steps in his mind.

“Alright, just making sure.”

With one last thought, Jaehyun concludes to himself that it’s time to tackle his concern at hand head-on.

“Actually,” he starts, “Mark, do you remember the girl next to Yeri the day you asked for her number?”

Mark quirks his head in thought and Jaehyun can see Johnny raise his eyebrows in sudden interest.

“Uh kinda,” Mark answers. “I think she’s a CWP major. I’m pretty sure we shared an arranging class last semester, but like, I don’t know her personally or anything; it was a large lecture. To be honest, I don’t even think she recognized me at all, judging from her reaction that day. Why, what’s up?”

Jaehyun nods, absorbing the information, giving Johnny ample time to fire away.

“Yeah Jaehyun,” Jaehyun can visualize the glint in Johnny’s eyes just from hearing his mischievous tone. “What is up? I haven’t seen you ask about a girl in a hot minute. Thought you suddenly went abstinent without telling me or something.”

Jaehyun isn’t quite sure how to reply. Without a doubt you were cute to Jaehyun and he wouldn’t be opposed for things to happen between the two of you, but he doesn’t even know you! Well, not that it’s been a problem for Jaehyun in the past, but your lingering presence bothers him in ways he cannot communicate. Why is that the thought of you won’t leave him and why does it bother him so much?

Jaehyun decides to be straightforward, as straightforward as his muddled brain allows him to be. “She’s cute. I wanna get to know her.”

“Okay, Jaehyun.” Johnny whoops obnoxiously. “I see you.”

Mark is surprised and suddenly Johnny is all fired up again. Abruptly, Johnny shoots up and the determination that burns in his eyes is admirable.

“I’ve got it!” He declares proudly.

Jaehyun and Mark are quiet, waiting patiently for him to continue. They say nothing, knowing there is not a thing that can reach him when Johnny gets like this.

“We’re throwing a party and you bet your ass your two girls are gonna be there.”

4. Heaven by Ailee

walking on Cloud 9.

“When I hear your voice, it feels like I’m dreaming.”

You look up at the two-story house before you and wonder how you got here. Actually, you don’t wonder at all because you know exactly how you ended up at the steps of the local performing arts fraternity at your college, but you sigh regardless, as if someone had weaseled you into being here. Your nerves gnaw at you and you feel your stomach doing all types of aerobic tricks, the feeling reminiscent of the sensation before the roller coaster drops.

Yeri grabs your hand and pulls you excitedly to the front door. You can feel the thrum of music emanating from the building.

You recall how Yeri almost jumped you to tell the good news.

Finals flew by without any major hitches, ignoring sleepless nights and caffeine crashes. You don’t know how you’ll do, but you’re satisfied with your exam performances. You were in the clear and were just waiting for Yeri to present her joint music theory project before the both of you could finally let loose as a celebration to end the school year.

You waited for her outside of the classroom building as promised, playing with your phone to past time until you were suddenly engulfed by a delighted pair of arms. Yeri hugged you tight; she was in high spirits, seemingly from acing her presentation and you hugged her back in congratulations. She pulled at you closer and whispered in your ears, “just say yes.”

You were confused, but looked up to see Mark headed toward the two you. Yeri released you, leaving one arm still slung casually over your shoulder.

“Hey guys. My frat’s throwing a party tonight to celebrate finishing exams. I was wondering if, uh, you guys wanted to come? I mean you don’t have to, it’s totally optional.”

You didn’t say anything at first and Yeri interjected, “Of course!” She smiled at you innocently despite harshly pinching you to respond, her action hidden from Mark’s sight. “We’d love to, right?”

“Uh,” you answered distractedly. “Y-yeah, sure.”

“Great.” Mark beamed. “Party starts at eight. I gotta go help set up, so I’ll see ya there!”

And with that, he left as soon as he arrived and you looked at Yeri questioningly for answers. “I thought we were hitting downtown tonight. What happened to club hopping?”

Yeri smiled devilishly, “change of plans. I’ll tell you more about it later. The most important thing is finding the perfect outfit for you tonight, cause Jaehyun’s gonna be there.”

And so, here you find yourself dressed in high-waisted shorts and a cute top that took an embarrassingly long time to decide on. You are greeted by the fraternity president at the door of the house, Taeyong you think his name is, and he gives you two a quick verbal tour of the place, really emphasizing where to get drinks. Yeri thanks him for the both of you and you enter the crowded house. You think at least half of the performing art majors must’ve been here judging by the sheer volume of packed bodies.

You remember Yeri explaining how she and Mark may have been making a breakthrough and this party was imperative for its success. You were completely okay attending for that reason alone, because after all, what kind of person sends her best friend to a frat party alone? However, your resolve to go was set in stone after she explained that the frat that was throwing the party just happened to be the same frat Jaehyun was a member of.

“And y’know, seeing as how you’ve been obsessing over him the past few weeks, it’s the perfect opportunity.”

You frown remembering her words and make your way to the kitchen with Yeri in tow. Various beverages, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, crowd the table and you recognize the guy standing nearby idly chatting with others. It’s Jaemin, an acting major in your history lecture with whom you frequently exchange notes with when either one of you decides to flake for the day. You vaguely recall him mentioning his fraternity association, but didn’t realize it happened to be this one. He sees the two of you approaching the drink table and he smiles widely.

“Oh hey, what’s up?” Jaemin greets casually. “Didn’t expect to see you here. How’d you think you did in the history final?”

You groan. “I don’t even want to talk about it. What’s important is that we’re finished and I won’t ever have to think about the WWII timeline for, hopefully, forever.”

“Amen,” Jaemin laughs. “I’ll drink to that.” He raises up his red solo cup to cheers, before realizing both you and Yeri had nothing to drink.

“Oh shit, I’m a pretty bad host, huh? First thing I should've done was get you two something to drink.” He chides himself, but his tone is playful. “What can I get for you, ladies?”

Before you can think about what you want, Yeri cuts you off, her tone matching Jaemin’s. “How about some shots to start off and we’ll forgive the lack of hospitality.”

Jaemin laughs again. “Alright, I like it.” His hands are adept at weaving around the table and finding the paper shot cups and the vodka. “Svedka’s okay, right?”

“We’re not picky.” You and Yeri agree. You take the shot in one gulp and the unpleasant burning in your throat makes you wince.

“Can I get you two anything else?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I think another shot and then a mixed drink. Anything’s fine, but preferably on the stronger side.” You look over at Yeri and she nods in agreement.

“Coming right up.” Jaemin agrees easily.

He pours the two of you another shot and you think he must be a generous guy because the shot is overflowing. You and Yeri cheer once more while Jaemin gets to work mixing a cherry bourbon with some Coke. He tops off the drinks with some ice before handing it over to the both of you. “Here they are. Enjoy, ladies.”

You thank him and take a sip before excusing yourself to make your way around the party. The drink is sweet and the smoky aftertaste of the bourbon gives it a pleasant edge. You and Yeri are attached to the hip as you drift from one part to another around the party, making easy going small talk along the way. You are sufficiently buzzed by this point and feel much lighter as though the party was somehow two degrees removed from your senses. You look over to check on Yeri and she’s noticeably drunker than you are, giggling about the simplest of things and slurring her words just the slightest bit. You make a mental note to ease the drinking, wanting to be sober enough to look after her in case anything were to arise.

The two of you are at the base of the stairs when you hear Mark’s voice calling Yeri’s name. You turn your attention upward to see him ambling down the stairs with excited fervor. His cheeks are flushed, more so than usual around Yeri, and you can tell it’s due to alcohol because Mark is holding her hands and you know he can never be so bold without the help of liquid courage.

“Yo Mark, slow down there.” A voice calls out and you look up again and you feel your breath caught in your throat.

There in front of your eyes is Jung Jaehyun in the flesh. He looks heavenly dressed in simple jeans and a white tee. You unconsciously swallow the lump in your throat and your heart beat gallops a mile a minute in your chest. Your mouth goes dry and you mindlessly gulp down swigs of your drink. You know Yeri would’ve sniggered at your current state had she not been so tipsy and completely preoccupied with Mark.

Jaehyun catches up to Mark and when he reaches the base of the stairs, he notices the two of you.

“Oh Jaehyun, lemme introduce you guys.”

As promised, Mark introduces everyone quickly and Jaehyun shoots a smile that seems to be aimed at you. “Nice to meet everyone.”

“Cool, now that everyone knows each other,” Mark starts. “Yeri, can I show you something?”

“Uh, y-yeah.”

You give Yeri a hard look and she takes your hand to squeeze it in reassurance. She looks at you pleadingly and there’s a confidence in her eyes that you can’t argue with. You relent and let her go.

Mark takes her by the hand and leads her up the stairs while you watch, slightly worried.

Jaehyun seems to have sensed your apprehension because the words that leave his mouth snaps you out of your perturbed state. “Don’t worry. Mark’s a good kid, you have nothing to worry about. You have my word on it.”

And suddenly the situation dawns on you. The boy of your recent all-consuming infatuation stands here before you, and it’s just the two of you alone. Any social skills you have, leave you and you’re unsure of what to do.

Jaehyun notices the awkward tension in the air and works quickly to dispel it. “Your drink’s looking low. Can I get you something else?”

You look down to your drink to see that he was right. Only a few sips remain. You didn’t realize you had drank so much at the sight of Jaehyun.

“Um, some water would be good. I don’t want to be too hungover tomorrow.” You answer shyly. You also need to be sober enough to look after Yeri, but you decide to leave that out.

Jaehyun chuckles, “sure thing. Here, come with me. I’ll get you some water.”

Jaehyun leads you to the kitchen with ease, seamlessly weaving through the crowds of people. Every group of people he passes greets him loudly to be heard of the pounding bass of the music. You are not surprised to see how popular he is.

Once in the kitchen, he grabs you a bottle of water and a beer for himself from the fridge and you thank him. The cold water is refreshing, but it does little to cool your nerves. The awkward tension is high and still ever present. You feel as though you’re drowning in it and you also feel like running away from here despite this being what you’ve wanted for more than anything for weeks on end.

“So,” Jaehyun starts, clearing his throat. “Mark told me you’re a CWP major?”

“Uh, y-yeah, actually.” You hate how you’re so flustered around him. “How’d he know? Did Yeri tell him or something?”

“He said you guys shared an arranging class last semester.” Jaehyun recalls.

“Wait, really? I had no idea.” You start going off on how you could’ve missed such a thing and Jaehyun smiles. You’re much more comfortable when a rhythm has been established and the words flow out of you easily. You’re not as relaxed as where Jaehyun wants you to be, but he thinks it’s a good start.

You continue with small talk from there, much less uptight than before and you feel glad. Jaehyun is as radiant in person as he is in your imagination. You find him to be very kind and your heart flutters even more. Jaehyun mentions he’s a musical theatre major and you do your best to act surprised despite it being one of the only things you know about him prior to this moment.

Before he gets a chance to tell you more about himself, a tall boy with long limbs calls out to Jaehyun that it’s his turn to join the next game of beer pong. Jaehyun looks reluctant to leave and you don’t want him to leave either, but you’d hate to hold him back from prior engagements.

“Would you,” Jaehyun licks his lips in consideration, “like to play with me? I don’t have a partner.”

You nod your head and readily agree, eager to spend more time with him.

You’ve only played beer pong a handful of times and being around Jaehyun makes you nervous, so you miss the first few shots. You feel embarrassed, but Jaehyun is patient and assures you that it’s no problem at all. His little words of encouragement mixed with the beer you drink helps melt your tension, and halfway through the game, you’re whooping and hollering with everyone watching the game.

You high-five Jaehyun without a second thought after nailing a perfect shot and Jaehyun smiles even wider. The two of you are leading when Taeyong comes in to kick everyone out.

“Sorry guys, party’s over.”

Groans of complaints could be heard throughout the crowd, but Taeyong’s words are firm and he ushers everyone to leave. He has a few other frat members behind him helping out. He reaches the beer pong table and pulls Jaehyun aside. After a few exchanged words, Jaehyun nods in agreement and ends the game completely, apologizing to his opponents.

You’re confused, so you carefully ask Jaehyun what’s going on. He sees you and his gaze softens, he quietly explains, “apparently, the campus police have received multiple noise complaints and since the fraternity already has a strike, Taeyong doesn’t really want to risk another. “

“Ah, I see.” You nod. You’re saddened by the turn of events, having finally eased into a relative comfort around Jaehyun and you yearn for more. “Well, I better go look for Yeri then.”

This is a goodbye and you’re unsure of what else to say to him, your disappointment mixes with alcohol making you feel even more miserable. You want to ask for more, but can’t find the words to reach him. Luckily, Jaehyun does it for you.

“Are you free sometime this week?” He asks. “I feel like we didn’t get a chance to really talk and I’d like to.”

Your heart hammers and the blood rushes in your ears, but you still find yourself uttering a mousy agreement.

“Great,” his smile is dazzling and you feel dizzy. “It’s a date then.”

5. 24 Hours by Sunmi

rushed minutes.

“Time goes by so quickly.”

“Hey,” a distant voice calls out and Jaehyun looks up from his phone to see your approaching figure. Your cheeks are rosy from the summer sun and stray pieces of your hair escape from your loosely styled updo. Jaehyun takes all of you in with careful appreciation.

“Hey yourself.” Jaehyun chuckles, slipping his phone casually in his pocket and standing up straighter to greet you properly.

Jaehyun sees the red of your face flush brighter, the soft color bleeding across your cheeks and onto your nose. Cute, he thinks. He watches as you tighten your grip on your clutch, knuckles white with nervous tension, in an attempt to gather your composure and calm your nerves. You clear your throat, “I didn’t know you’d be here so soon. You should’ve texted me.”

“It’s all good, I finished early.” Jaehyun notices you no longer stutter around him like the first night you two met. He’s glad the days and nights of sober texting after exchanging numbers at the party did wonders to make you feel comfortable around him. He’s not too worried about your current ‘first-date’ anxiety, knowing it’ll be dispelled soon enough. “Shall we?” He moves to open the door and the cool rush of air from the cafe greets the two of you.

The cafe is quaint and cozy, tucked away in a small corner of intersecting back streets and crowded buildings. Jaehyun discovered the little spot not too long ago and something, Jaehyun assumes his instincts, compelled him to take you to it for the first official date. It just felt right.

The two of you walk to the order counter and you take it all in. You can hear the quiet chatter of the cafe occupants mixed with the rattle of espresso machines being put to work. Your eyes scan over the decorations and several potted succulents hanging from the ceiling. It’s incredibly homey and you feel at ease.

“Hiya, I can help the two of you whenever you guys are ready.” The barista is cheerful to a fault and Jaehyun watches you shoot her a grateful smile before your eyes move to the menu to decide on what to get.

Jaehyun knows what he wants, so he waits patiently for you to decide, but seeing your eyebrows scrunch together in indecision, Jaehyun chuckles to himself. “I hear the iced lattes here are really good, particularly the caramel latte,” he offers.

You perk up in surprise, but you recover quickly, “okay, that sounds good then. I was between that and the iced cocoa.”

“No problem, I’ll order then. Today’s on me.” Jaehyun says.

Jaehyun walks up to the barista and quickly places the order. He reaches for his wallet after the barista recites the order, but he falters slightly when he sees your gaze glued to the cake display, particularly the crepe cake.

“Can I get a slice of the chocolate crepe cake over there too?”

“Of course! Here’s your new total,” she turns the touch screen display over to Jaehyun and he readily inserts his card to pay. When finished, Jaehyun turns back the screen and after a few taps from the barista, a receipt is printed and she hands him a buzzer.

“Your order will be out shortly.” She informs him.

Jaehyun smiles and says a small ‘thank you’ in return before turning his attention to you. You look up to meet his eyes and you smile, “can we sit over there by the window?”

You head to the little corner table first with Jaehyun steadily in tow. You sit at the chair that leaves your back to the window and Jaehyun is mesmerized by how the afternoon sunlight refracts through your silhouette. You’re glowing and Jaehyun swallows thickly.

“So,” he starts. “What have you been up to?”

“Celebrating finishing my first year of college in one piece.” You laugh lightly. “I got by with passable grades, but other than that Yeri and I just finished moving into our new dorms. We’re no longer freshmen, so first year dorms are off limits. I’m gonna miss the convenient location.” You jokingly mope.

Jaehyun laughs easily with you and before he gets a chance to reply, the buzzer goes off so he excuses himself to go pick up the order.

A different barista places down a tray with your two drinks and a small slice of cheesecake with two dessert forks resting on some napkins. “Enjoy your order!”

Jaehyun smiles in thanks and picks up the tray to bring it back to the table. He can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see the mille crepe cake and true to his expectations, your eyes light up at the sight of dessert.

“Surprise.” He says. “I saw you looking at it earlier.”

Jaehyun watches as you immediately grab a small fork and try a piece of the cake with unrestricted child-like excitement. Your eyes light up at the taste of the delicate layers of fresh whipped cream and thin crepes and the smile you shoot in his direction has Jaehyun’s heart beating a little faster than he’s willing to admit.

“Thank you!” You look up at him. “It’s so good, you should definitely try a bite too.”

“Yeah? I’ll try some then.” Jaehyun sits down and leans even closer to you over the table, his mouth open and expectant and his eyes staring straight into yours.

You try your best to bite back the scarlet fighting to stain your cheeks as you cinch off a small section of the cake with your fork. Your hand falters just the slightest bit when delivering the small confection to his awaiting mouth, but you push through and feed him despite the embarrassment you feel.

Jaehyun chews slowly and deliberately, taking his time to lick the stray whipped cream from the corner of his mouth. You lose the game of chicken, breaking eye contact first.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It’s good. We should definitely come back.”

You let out a little awkward cough, desperate to ward off your cloud of emotions. “Uhm, yeah sure.”

Jaehyun has always thought you were cute, but he thinks you’re especially cute today.

“Anyway,” you start. You want to change the topic because you don’t think you can survive this tension without your brain frying. “I feel like I’ve just seen you around recently. I should’ve run into you a long time ago since the performing arts college is so small.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun is a little taken aback. “I used to be over at the East Campus. I was a business and administration major for two years before I switched over to musical theatre.”

“Wait really?” Your surprise erases any tension you felt earlier. “I had no idea.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “It doesn’t really come up in conversation.”

“Why’d you switch over? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Jaehyun contemplates his reply for a second as takes a sip of his coffee. “Well, when I entered college, I didn’t really know what I wanted, so I just followed whatever my parents wanted me to do. I actually knew I liked musical theatre for the longest time, but it took time for me to build up the courage to switch. My parents weren’t happy with it at first and we fought for the longest time, but I think they’ve warmed up to it enough by now. I’ve never really talked about this though, I just tell people I transferred from a different college and the conversation just ends there I guess, but it’s really no big deal.”

“Thank you for telling me this, Jaehyun.” Your voice is sincere and Jaehyun believes you.

“What about you, hm?” Jaehyun returns. “Why CWP?”

“I don’t really have one point that changed my life and helped me find my calling or whatever,” you ponder with a tilt of the head and the taste of cream dissolving in your mouth. “But ever since I was little, I always knew I was gonna end up doing something in music. I was never good at singing though, so vocal performance was out the door and I wasn’t that interested in classical instruments either, so that helped me narrow stuff down. Actually, what really helped me decide was during orientation, my group leader was a contemporary writing and production major and she told me all about it and I’ve been sold ever since. I really like it though, and have no intention of switching.”

“That’s good. Sometimes I wish I switched earlier.” Jaehyun muses. “I feel so behind sometimes. Most people in my class have already been in at least one musical and an internship, except for me. I think about it a lot, but I try not to let it get me so down.”

“You shouldn’t feel that way!” You try your best to cheer him up, and Jaehyun appreciates it a lot more than he thought he would. “Everyone has their own pace, that’s what college is all about! Nothing is ever wasted time. You can think of your time as a business admin major as a way to help you make up your mind on your true passion. You told me you’ve always liked musical theatre, but I’ve bet without the time in business, you would’ve never known you liked it enough to pursue a career out of it.”

Jaehyun laughs at your earnesty. He thinks you’re a touch naive, but your words make him feel light. “You’re right. I can say for sure I wasn’t happy as a business major.”

“See? Nothing is ever wasted time if you can discover your true happiness out of it.”

The two of you exchange easy chatter after that and between small bites of cake and sips of coffee, Jaehyun thinks you’ve become prettier and prettier.

“What was it like?” You ask absentmindedly.

“Hm? What was ‘what’ like?”

“Being a business and administration major.”

Jaehyun has to think about it. He recalls constantly dressing up for group presentations and boring lectures, but his mind wanders to his activities outside the classroom. He remembers the constant partying and the blur of faces that helped him keep his bed warm. He remembers brief flings and relationships cut short. He doesn’t want to think about those things when he’s next to you. “Uhm. It was okay, nothing special, but that reminds me–”

“Yeah?”

“Are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why, what’s up?”

“Great,” Jaehyun smiles while taking the last sip of his coffee. “I’m having a housewarming party at my new apartment. You should definitely be there.”

The day of the long awaited housewarming party rolls up sooner than expected between settling into your new dorm with Yeri and the occasional small ‘get-togethers’ with Jaehyun. They’re actually dates if you're being honest, but you don’t want to put a title on anything in case he wasn’t on the same page as you. Being with Jaehyun made you giddy in more ways than one, but that means the anxiety that pools at the base of your stomach grows larger each day when the relationship between the two of you goes unnamed. You feel greedy when you desperately grasp at the shred of time you share with him, always unwillingly to let go.

“Are you ready?” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your small reverie. Her hand is poised, ready to knock on the black door of Jaehyun’s apartment, waiting for you to gather your composure. Yeri is dressed to the nines in a cute skirt with a top to match. She wants to look good for her new boyfriend and you teased her endlessly for it when the two of you were getting ready.

“Mark’s one lucky guy.”

“Shut up. Worry about yourself.”

“All I do is love you, yet you’re so mean to me.”

Regardless of her harsh words toward you, she helped you toss your closet inside and out for the perfect outfit to woo Jaehyun, even if it meant showing up late to the party.

The two of you leave your dorm twenty minutes later than you intended and it also didn’t help that Jaehyun’s apartment was difficult to find, tucked away in a small building between towering skyscrapers, but now is finally the moment of truth.

“Yeah, I’m ready as I’ll ever be,” you mutter as you watch Yeri knock on the door.

It takes a minute before the door creaks open and Jaehyun’s head pops out. His smile is radiant and you’re absolutely ensnared by the way his fringe falls over his forehead.

“Hey, glad you two could make it.” Jaehyun opens the door wider to allow you and Yeri to enter. He greets Yeri with polite warmth while he wraps an arm over your shoulders. When Yeri heads in the apartment first with her back against the two of you, Jaehyun steals a quick peck to your temple and whispers, “you look pretty tonight.”

His touch is fleeting and he pulls back quickly, as if you imagined the whole thing, but his cheeky smile tells you that it really did happen. Your heart hammers and you force yourself to focus on the steady thrum of mellow R&B that reverberates throughout his apartment to calm yourself. You take his apartment in steady strides with your full attention. It’s sleek and modern with a few pops of his personality here and there in the form of trinkets decoration choices.

“Hey!” Johnny calls over from the couch. He has a beer in hand, but he’s far from tipsy. Flanked on one side is Doyoung with another beer to match and on the other is Sicheng. Seulgi, the girl, who you assume is Sicheng’s significant other, by the way his arm is casually wrapped around her waist, is also there and she nods at you in greeting. You've come to know about all of them after hanging out with Jaehyun so much. “Did you guys get lost or something?”

“Yeah,” Yeri replies as she moves to sit next to Mark who’s on the adjacent loveseat and resting a drink on the coffee table. “Something like that.”

She places a sweet kiss to the corner of Mark’s mouth in greeting and you swear you can hear him crooning at the attention.

“Doesn’t matter, Johnny. The important thing is that they’re here now.” Jaehyun interjects. “Do you guys want anything to drink?”

“That’d be nice.” You hum.

Yeri laughs in agreement, “yeah, the two of us could never say no to a drink.”

“Alright, I’m on it.” Jaehyun calls while moving to the kitchen. “Any preferences?”

“No,” you say. “Surprise us.”

Jaehyun works to mix drinks and you take a seat on the floor next to the coffee table to observe the party. Perched on the shelf of a slender bookcase in the corner of his living room is a bluetooth speaker playing music, the rhythm quiet and bass steady as everyone chatters away once introductions are made on the sofas. You remember him offhandedly mentioning that he doesn’t want any noise complaints on his first week in the new place and it makes sense. Jaehyun’s housewarming party is a quiet affair that is far different from the wild party at the frat house in which you met him, but you think this vibe fits Jaehyun more.

Jaehyun returns shortly with two drinks in tow for you and Yeri and sits himself snugly next to you on the floor. He picks his idle beer from the coffee table and once Johnny realizes that everyone in the proximity has a drink in hand, he raises his voice and beer in a toast. “It sucks that Taeyong couldn’t make it tonight, but here’s to having fun without him. We’re gonna get twice as fucked up to make up for his absence, cheers!”

Everyone lets out a chuckle, but obliges to humor him anyway and joins to connect their drink to his in cheers.

You pull your cup back and take a big gulp of the drink. It’s sweet and carbonated, but the sting of alcohol at your throat leaves you wincing just the slightest bit.

A few pleasantries are exchanged here and there, but it’s only then does Doyoung pull out a deck of cards with a devilish glint in his eyes that deceive his looks.

“Ring of fire, anyone?”

After who knows how many rounds of ring of fire (and maybe a few other drinking games here and there) with too many drink refills for you to remember, you somehow find yourself splayed on the couch and leaning over Yeri’s shoulder in support. Seulgi is on the other side of you leaning on you for support, the same way you’re doing to Yeri, but you don’t mind it one bit. The three of you have grown surprisingly close with one another throughout the night.

Your mind is lucid enough to still be conscious and completely aware of where you are and what you’re doing, but the alcohol in your system eats away at the details in your memory.

You vaguely recall ridiculous punishments that involved Johnny twerking on the dining room table and Mark taking a shot of Jack Daniels mixed with ketchup, and you can’t help but snicker to yourself.

“I think we should get going now.” Sicheng is the first to speak as he moves to help Seulgi up. “It’s getting late.”

Doyoung looks a little groggy, but when he checks the time, he perks up immediately, “oh shit, you’re right. I need to get going too, I’ve got something in the morning.”

With that everyone shuffles to clean the remnants of the party with as much grace as they can muster while intoxicated, which wasn’t much, but in twenty minutes, Jaehyun is already walking half the party to the door in goodbye. Only you, Mark, and Yeri are left.

“Hey Yeri,” Mark calls softly to Yeri as he brushes a strand of hair from her face. “Are you ready to go too?”

Yeri is still sprawled on the couch with you, but mumbles a small response. “Yeah, I should be. Give me a second.”

She turns over to you and nudges you just the slightest bit. “I’m gonna go back to Mark’s tonight, are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” you assure her. “I’ll be fine, just go have fun.”

“She’s free to rest here until she’s ready to leave, don’t worry. I’ll call a cab for her when the time comes.” Jaehyun pipes up.

Yeri gives you a look, but you squeeze her hand one last time to give her some peace of mind. “I’m a big girl, Yeri. I’ll be okay, promise. I’ll walk you to the door, Mark’s waiting.”

You give Yeri a tight hug in goodbye and you find your way back to the couch. The fact that you’re all alone in Jaehyun’s apartment doesn’t hit because of the remnants of alcohol in your system melts away your nerves.

You’re pleasantly buzzed, lost in your own thoughts when Jaehyun comes up to you with a glass of water in hand. “Here, so you don’t feel as bad tomorrow morning.”

You accept it gratefully and take in big gulps, the water refreshing, but your skin feels hot.

Jaehyun takes a seat next to you and the proximity makes your head spin. You turn to look at him, and he flashes you a smile.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You might’ve mentioned something.” You tease. “But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“Well,” he hums. You’re not sure, but you think the distance between the two of you is decreasing. “You really do look stunning tonight.”

You flush at his words, but you look straight into his eyes. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“Yeah? I try to impress.” Jaehyun’s eyes are hooded and your throat goes dry. “Can I kiss you?”

You say nothing at first, his words not registering into your muddled brain, but when you feel his breath ghost over your lips, you don’t hesitate to close the gap between you.

His lips are slightly chapped and you can taste the vodka on his breath, but to you it’s perfect. Jaehyun’s perfect.

Jaehyun kisses you with reserved passion and practiced expertise. His tongue sets the rhythm against yours and his roaming hands have you feeling as if you’ve been set ablaze. He pulls back just the tiniest bit and the intense longing for his touch that hits you is indescribable.

You pull him back in your arms and your lips reconnect in a desperate fervor. Jaehyun adjusts his arms around you and the next you know, you’re in his embrace and he’s carrying you to his bedroom. He places you down gently, his bed is plush and comforter soft.

Jaehyun’s touch is gentle as he gathers your face in his hands. He kisses you again and you wrap your arm around his neck to pull him closer. He pulls back and looks at you earnestly. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

Everything’s moving so fast and you’re dizzy, but you don’t want whatever this is to stop. You want to be as close to Jaehyun as possible.

“No,” your voice is hoarse. “Don’t stop. I want you, Jaehyun.”

He kisses you again, this time unrestrained. His tongue is hot, but you can only savor it for a minute before he starts trailing kisses down your neck and tugging at your shirt. You let out a breathy moan in response to how his touches make you feel.

Jaehyun reaches at your shorts and makes quick work at unbuttoning them. You help him remove the article of clothing and his slender fingers dart inside your panties. You’re slick to the touch and Jaehyun must be made of magic because you think you’re seeing stars. You unravel before him embarrassingly quick, but he kisses you at the base of your clavicle in sweet reassurance.

Your chest is heaving, but you want more. You grab at Jaehyun’s shirt, urging him to take it off. The expanse of his abdomen is a sight to behold, but Jaehyun is cruel and doesn’t give you the time to take it in. He’s on top of you again, lips crashing onto yours once more. He reaches behind you to unclasp your bra and while he’s pre-occupied, you unbuckle his belt and steal a moment in his boxers. He feels thick and hot in your hands as you run your finger over the tip to feel a drop of pre-cum. He buckles just the slightest bit and it emboldens you.

Jaehyun helps himself out of his jeans and you push him onto the bed wanting to be on top this time. He’s straining against his boxers and you want to help relieve the tension. When you pull off his boxers you can feel his inaudible groan. You stroke his length gingerly and look up to see him with hooded eyes look right back at you.

This excites you so you take him in your mouth in a moment of unfiltered courage. Your tongue starts at the base before tracing your way up to his sensitive head. You tease him accordingly to his quiet grunts and groans and when you feel like he’s had enough, you take all of him in until his tip is hitting the back of your throat. You gag a bit, but push through.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun stutters out between stacatoed breaths. “Babe, you’re so good.”

You hum in pleasure at his praise and he grabs your hair. This goes on for a few more minutes before he reaches down to stop you. “Not that I don’t love this,” the look in your eyes nearly has him faltering his words, “but I don’t want to cum just yet.”

You relent with a slick pop and Jaehyun shifts over to rummage for a condom in his nightstand. You settle back down in his pillows. Jaehyun gives you a soft kiss on the lips before he enters you.

“Tell me when it’s okay to move,” he whispers and you place a small kiss at the base of his neck.

He starts off slow to let you acclimate to his size, but neither of you are very patient, so he ends up pounding into you a lot sooner than he anticipated and you find yourself getting caught up in the pleasure.

It feels like you’re dreaming, but if this was a dream, you never want to wake up.

6. Hush by Miss A

shh, no talking, just us.

“I can’t think straight.”

You and Jaehyun don’t become official until a few weeks later.

He asks you one day when you’re naked and out of breath. You’ve gone one too many rounds with him and a thin layer of sweat coats your body as you lay on his heaving chest. You absentmindedly draw shapes on his skin and he gives you a chaste kiss to your temple.

“We should date.” He hums. “I think I’d make a good boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” You raise your eyebrow in teasing.

“Yeah,” he ascertains. “Give me a chance and I’ll show you.”

“Hmm,” you pretend to think it over as if this wasn’t you’ve been hoping for since the first moment you laid eyes on him. “Okay. Let’s give it a try, boyfriend.”

Jaehyun laughs and you feel the world fall into its right place. “Alright, girlfriend.”

And the rest is history as they say.

Jaehyun isn’t your first, but you experience many firsts with him. You’re not exactly inexperienced, but he really opens your eyes.

“Fuck,” he groans into your neck. His hands grip at your hips to help guide you along, but you’re fully in charge. “You’re doing so good, babe. Just like that.”

You didn’t see yourself as someone who liked to take charge during sex, but after that one time Jaehyun asked you to top, you’ve never looked back since.

You roll hips into him and at a pace you know drives Jaehyun wild and you pull him into a sloppy kiss. It’s all tongue and no grace, but you love it the same regardless. You capture his bottom lips between your teeth playfully before pushing him flat on his back until he’s firm against his plush mattress. You place a hand on his chest and the other on his thigh to balance yourself and Jaehyun immediately knows you’re close.

A hand rests on your hip to steady you while the other snakes over to play with your clit to further stimulate you toward your climax. Jaehyun knows what you like and his timing is impeccable, so before you know it, both of you are reaching your highs together. You collapse on his chest and you allow yourself to stay in his warmth long enough to have your breaths synchronize before you extricate yourself from him to head to his bathroom.

When you come back out, he’s disposed of the used condom and opens your arm wide for a hug, which you gladly indulge in.

Time stops when you’re in his arms.

On the surface, it looks like Jaehyun likes to mix it up. He seems like an elusive guy with varied tastes, but the more time you spend with him, you realize he likes the control of seeing you unravel before him.

He likes the intimacy of missionary.

The close proximity to your body has him looking into your eyes and leaving you feeling the most vulnerable of ways. He has full access to your neck, which he lovingly claims as his own and you chide him the next day when you see scattered purple blooms. Jaehyun changes his pace on a whim and you fall to his mercy. When he takes you fast and hard, you see stars, but when thrusts in you with languid leisure, he has you begging for more.

He likes the intensity of taking from behind.

When you’re on your knees with your ass in the air, he takes it as a guarantee to fuck you senseless. Your muffled moans makes his dick twitch and you swear you can feel him fuck into you even faster. Jaehyun always makes sure to wrap his arms around you to finger your clit until you go into sensory overload and he doesn’t stop pounding into you until there are tears in your eyes. He kisses each one away before taking your lips in his and you can taste the salt water on his tongue.

He likes the dominance from eating you out.

He laps at your core like a starved man and makes good use of his adept fingers until your head is spinning. Jaehyun makes it a habit to eat you out until you’re satisfied before he gets his turn. When your thighs are on either side of his head and your hands tangled in his hair, he swears he can stay there forever.

Above all, Jaehyun just likes you. He likes being with you and he definitely likes fucking you and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Mmmh,” you breathe out.

Your back is flush against Jaehyun’s back as you rock your hips back and forth on his dick. You grind your ass back even harder when he pinches your nipple between his fingers.

He kisses your shoulder blade from behind and bucks his hip upward to meet you in the middle.

The afternoon sunlight is streaming in from the gaps of his blinds and you want to take it nice and slow today. The television in front of you is playing a movie, but you’re too enraptured by the feeling of him filling you to the brim to pay it any mind.

“I love it when you’re on top, babe.” he hums as he plays with your clit.

You let out another breathy groan before you can find the composure to bite back at him. “What happened to no sex today, hmm? I thought we were just going to have innocent quality time together and watch a movie.”

Jaehyun must’ve not liked your sass, so he bucks up harder. He’s telling you to pick up the pace and you oblige. Before you know, you’re practically bouncing on his dick and you can feel your impending high about to crash down on you. He can sense it too and maintains his tempo. When you cum, Jaehyun rides on the tail of your climax in pursuit of his own. He cums shortly after with stuttering hips and a bite on your shoulder. He gathers you in his arms and runs his tongue soothingly over where he bit you and the various love bites that he’s littered on the expanse of your skin.

“Just being with you is quality time in itself.” He says. “Besides, class is starting soon, so I won’t get to see you as much.”

7. Disturbance by BoA

a ripple on the surface.

“I didn’t know at first.”

“So I do have a roommate after all,” Yeri’s voice calls out and you turn over to see her standing by the doorway. You roll your eyes at her, but quickly turn back to gather your things.

She lets out a chuckle, but you don’t miss the sour edge to her tone. “I thought I got a single dorm since it’s so empty all the time.”

“You say that, Yeri,” you retort. “But I know you’re over at Mark’s constantly so I don’t wanna hear it from you.”

“Yeah, but I make time to come back here and I always let you know when I’m going out. I feel like I’ve only seen you maybe once or twice the past few months. I feel like the only reason I see you these days is ‘cause of classes.”

“You’re just exaggerating, don’t be so dramatic. Come on, let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”

She looks displeased, but nothing leaves her lips as the two of you head out for the day.

It’s late.

When night falls, shadows come out to play and your college campus is riddled with them. The school auditorium is situated in the far corner of the campus and the lamp lights of the main walkways do little, but you pay it little mind. Jaehyun should be getting out soon.

It takes another ten minutes to see him emerge from the double doors and you perk up immediately at the sight of him. He looks a little shocked to see you, but greets you with a warm hug and small peck regardless.

“Hey,” his voice is small, almost reserved. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you I was finishing late tonight.”

“Oh, you did, but I still wanted to see you.” You explain, eyes bright and tone undeterred.

“Not that I don’t appreciate it,” he licks his lip. “But it’s really late and I still have more stuff I need to work on. I’ll see you some other time, okay?”

“Oh, okay.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, babe. Next time.”

“Oh hey,” you smile, but Yeri’s fury is palpable and cuts through you.

“Don’t ‘oh hey’ me.” She spits out. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Sheepish, you reply, “oh sorry. I forgot to fully charge it before leaving and Jaehyun and I have different phones, so I couldn’t charge it at his place.”

“You were at Jaehyun’s?” Yeri is glaring at you at this point and you feel a bit peeved.

“Yeah. What of it?”

Yeri’s been getting angry at you recently, losing her temper at the drop of a hat, and you can’t seem to pinpoint why. You’re getting tired of being her punching bag.

“We made plans to go shop for Seulgi’s gift today. You promised you’d be there, don’t you remember?”

“Oh shit.” It completely slips from your mind and you open your mouth to apologize, but Yeri cuts you off before you get the chance.

“Forget it. I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Yeri turns to leave before you can say anything back.

8. Symptoms by SHINee

something’s wrong.

“The worse it gets, the more exhausted I get.”

Jaehyun feels off.

He can’t pinpoint exactly what he is that he’s feeling, but he thinks it’s reminiscent of his world being tilted by six degrees. It’s not immediately jarring and takes little time for his eyes to register, but he’ll occasionally bump his toe, signalling that this isn’t right. Things aren’t where they’re supposed to be. His head spins just the slightest bit and he feels woozy, but he doesn’t know why.

Jaehyun just feels off.

Jaehyun checks the bulletin board of his school auditorium almost religiously.

Each time before and after class, he’ll swing by and peruse the flyers that hang from haphazardly stuck on pins. He ignores the tutoring offers and the part time jobs scams, his main focus is almost always on the center of the board where they post the upcoming musical theatre production and eventually, the cast list.

This semester, the chosen production is La La Land and Jaehyun has been dead set on landing the role of Sebastian Wilder. He stays back extra late each day to practice the script and to work on his singing and annunciation.

On the day of the audition, he’s sure he’s nailed it and thinks to himself the world must be ending if he weren’t to get the leading role.

When he leaves the auditorium in a rush, excitement flows through his veins and he drinks in the night air as a toast of victory. He’s tipsy on his excitement and wants to laugh out loud, but in the corner of his vision, he sees you. Your eyes light up the sight up, outshining the moon and the stars, but your visage does not elicit the reaction he thinks it should. He expects his heart to swell and burst, but somehow he feels heavy.

He pulls you in for a hug and a quick kiss to quell his weighted heart, but he thinks he’s starting to sink so he calls you off for the night. He’ll see you next time.

Yeah, next time will be better.

You’re snuggled up close and personal on Jaehyun’s chest. Jaehyun notices you fill every nook and cranny of his being perfectly to a tee, and yet that feeling. It’s there again.

Jaehyun feels off.

You laugh at something one of the characters say and you cuddle harder into him. He feels heavy again and it makes his throat itch, so he swoops down and captures your lips.

It’s hard and fast to scrub away at his uneasiness and before he knows it, his clothes are missing, but so are yours. The foreplay is brief and almost impersonal, but he doesn’t care. He just needs to be inside you.

When Jaehyun has you begging and writhing, he feels like the world is where it should be. No longer is he living at a slight angle when he’s buried to the hilt inside your warmth, so when he sees you, he does what he can to get you out of your pants.

Today is no different from any other.

After a satisfying session you roll on his chest. Your kiss is soft and sweet despite the sweat that covers both of your bodies. He hums quietly as he taps melodies on along your exposed spine.

“Jaehyun?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you.”

Ah. Jaehyun thinks he’s getting it now, why he’s feeling off.

Jaehyun thinks he’s being suffocated.

To the surprise of no one, and especially not to him, Jaehyun gets the leading role of Sebastian Wilder in La La Land. He was a shoe-in for it anyway and he made sure to put in the work to get it.

His leading lady is someone by the name of Park Sooyoung, but at the first rehearsal she introduces herself as Joy.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She offers her hand out in a friendly greeting. “Here’s to a successful show together, Jaehyun.”

Her smile is blinding and he thinks Joy is a fitting name. He grasps her outstretched hand, grip firm and sure.

“Yeah,” he smiles back. “Here’s to a good show together.”

Rehearsals span over blurred minutes and long hours.

Jaehyun sees less and less of you and spends more and more time with her.

During a quick water break, he scans his phone briefly to see a text notification from you. He takes another swig of water and returns to the rehearsal.

It’s okay, he can always text you back later.

9. Before U Go - TVXQ!

letting go.

“I will leave now.”

“Come on!” You tug both Mark and Yeri along excitedly. “I want to get good seats.”

Yeri rolls her eyes, but obliges anyway, pulling Mark along. It’s opening night for Jaehyun’s big musical and you wanted to be there no matter what to support him. Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong, Sicheng, and Seulgi are already inside waiting and you’re not sure if they were able to save the three of you a spot.

After a long chat with Yeri, you apologized profusely to her. You did get blinded by your relationship with him and prioritized him over everything, forgetting your friends and other responsibilities in the process. Yeri forgave you easily and helped keep you in line when you went to head over heels for Jaehyun.

However, after patching things up with Yeri, you begin to notice a shift in your relationship with Jaehyun’s. You’re not quite sure how to describe it, but it almost feels like a distance almost.

You chalk it up to his busy rehearsal schedule and choose not to dwell on the topic, in fears of your wandering imagination. It should be fine. After his musical is over, he’ll be less busy and things will fall back into place.

Right?

“Over here!” Seulgi waves over excitedly.

The auditorium is starting to fill up and you want to get comfortable before the show starts.

Everyone greets each other in hushed tones and soon enough, the show starts.

Right. Everything will be fine.

Jaehyun does amazing.

Your eyes are trained on him the whole time and his singing has goosebumps pricking your skin. You can see the passion pour through him every time he’s on stage and you couldn’t be more proud.

A nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach points out the undeniable chemistry between him and his co-star, but you push it deep down and suppress it.

They’re actors, and they’re good at what they do.

Yeah. They’re just acting. Yeah. Acting.

When the curtains close, you’re the first to shoot out of your seat, eager to meet him backstage. You weave through the endless crowd of people, murmuring your ‘sorry’s’ and ‘excuse me’s’ as you pass by. You reach the base of the backstage and shoot a message to let him know you’re waiting. You hum to yourself when you happen to overhear a conversation playing out.

“You did so good, Jae.”

“No, you definitely carried the show.”

You turn up and you see them. Her eyes are almost soft and loving as she pulls your boyfriend in for a hug. They linger in the embrace longer than necessary and you clear your throat to catch his attention.

He jolts just the slightest bit when he sees you and immediately lets her go.

“Everyone’s waiting,” you say quietly.

“Okay,” he nods. “Let me go get my stuff in the back.”

Jaehyun leaves the two of you alone and you wait for him to get back.

When you leave, he waves goodbye to her and she smiles back.

Jaehyun’s celebration party is rowdy, but it’s to be expected when Johnny is the one hosting.

He books a table at the local club and even orders bottle service. The eight of you work your way through two whole bottles of tequila and are already on your third. Jaehyun is downing the shots at a quicker pace than usual and you’re a bit concerned, but you’re unable to say anything because when you try, he whisks himself away to the dance floor and strikes up a conversation with someone else.

You’re perturbed, but you say nothing. This is his celebration night and he can choose to enjoy it how he wishes.

By the end of the night, Jaehyun is noticeably drunk and you haul him outside to get a breath of fresh air in hopes of sobering up. He’s heavy, but you make it out the side door. You prop him up on your side as you lean on the grimy brick walls.

Months have passed and the weather is chilly.

Jaehyun’s body sways and he murmurs something in your ear. You don’t catch it the first time, the overwhelming smell of tequila overtaking your senses.

“What was that?”

He grumbles beneath his breath, steps staggering once more. He tries again, this time his words are crisp and clear and they cut into you in more ways than one.

“I think we should end it.”

For someone so drunk, he sounds so sober.

You’re at a loss for words. A part of you knew this was coming from his lack of enthusiasm around you and his decreased texts. Even the cold night air couldn’t keep your heartbreak at bay. You say nothing, but you understand the both of you knew it was a silent agreement.

You breathe out wisps of chilled air as Jaehyun’s inebriated body stays slumped over on your side.

You volunteer to take Jaehyun home.

You tuck him gently in bed making sure to prop him on his side in case he vomits during the night. You pour a glass of water and place an ibuprofen on his nightstand drawer for him in the morning.

You kiss him on the forehead one last time. You hope it conveys all of the things brewing in your heart at the moment, but you know it doesn’t.

Later, you leave his apartment with all of your belongings that you ever left there with the stars as your witness.

You never return to his place again.

10. Coffee Shop by B.A.P

what could’ve been.

“So without knowing, like a habit, I came here.”

Jaehyun wakes up to an empty bed.

Morning sunlight streams through his blinds and burns at his skin as a sign to get ready for the day. He blinks the drowsiness from his system and stretches his weary joints before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

On his rare day offs, he allows his body to go on auto-pilot. He completely shuts his brain off and allows it to do whatever it chooses.

Today, it takes him back to the cafe.

His body knows where it’s going before it registers in his mind.

The barista manning the order counter is different, but the decorations are the same, still the same succulents hanging from the ceilings. He mulls over the menu and goes up to order.

“Can I get an iced caramel latte?” Jaehyun doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he’s feeling nostalgic today.

“Of course! Here’s your total.”

He pays with a swipe of his card and the barista goes to work making his drink. He waits around by the counter and soon enough, his drink is ready. That particular table is empty, so he grabs a chair to sit. His first sip is overly saccharine, but he appreciates how the flavor mellows out by the end of it.

It’s been nearly a year since that night.

Jaehyun remembers waking up to a splitting headache and a dry mouth. He thought nothing of the prepared setup as he gulps the ibuprofen and the glass of water in one go. Nothing seemed amiss really until a few days later.

No one mentioned your name around him and he caught Seulgi giving him a look every now and then. Mark didn’t say much either, but Jaehyun felt him drifting away.

He thought he’d feel a lot more, but he didn’t. One day you were a part of his life and then the next day you weren’t. It really was that simple.

He kept in contact with Joy even after La La Land was over and maybe they were something more, but it didn’t last longer than a few weeks.

It didn’t feel right when he was with her. Again, something felt off, but a different kind of off.

Joy was the one to end things with him, but he didn’t mind too much.

He filled his days with study and practice and it wasn’t until he landed a job at his local theatre company that he realized.

It was you. It was always you and perhaps it still is you.

Maybe you were different. Maybe you were the one, but Jaehyun didn’t try.

He recalls feeling smothered. You were always there at the beginning, but he took that for granted.

There are a lot of things he regrets, but above all, he regrets not talking with you. He regrets not trying to work on it. He regrets being a coward and running away at the first signs of true emotions.

You weren’t perfect, but neither was he, but he should’ve stayed so the both of you could work it out together. Jaehyun always did take too long to find the courage to pursue what he wanted.

With a final sip, he finishes the drink and moves to throw it away. Then, he sees you. Here, in the flesh, in almost a year.

Your hair is longer, but your cheeks are still as rosy as ever. You walk up to order and Jaehyun thinks it’s a sign. He moves to greet you, but the doors open again and in walk Yeri and Seulgi. He watches you greet them warmly with wide open arms.

You always did give the best hugs.

Jaehyun watches the three of you chatter away and he feels acutely out of place in the little cafe. You look happy and he should move on.

He throws his finished cup in the trash can and moves to exit through the side door, but he moves too slowly.

“Jaehyun, is that you?” You call out. He looks into your steady gaze and almost feels shy.

“Yeah,” he’s quiet. “It’s been awhile.”

“It has,” you agree. “You look well.”

The smile you give him has him believing in second chances and maybe he’ll get it right this time.

Note: i am so sorry that the second part is a hot mess express smh… there were a lot of things i planned and intended that didn’t happen, but i’ll just take this as a learning experience and write and better story next time. thanks for taking the time to read this !! <3

masterlist.

#nctcreations #cznnet #neowritingsnet #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #nct scenario #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff

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soccerximagines · 3 years

Note

Could you do a Jesse Lingard imagine? One where you're his daughters babysitter and every time he's off to training, you're at his place, babysitting Hope. He's had feelings for you since you started working with them a few months ago and Hope practically is crazy in love with you. One day Jesse makes it home early, catching you baking with his little princess while singing to Frozen songs and debating about which ice cream flavour is best. Your shift doesn't finish till another hour so you're still around, this time Jesse joining in on the rest of your activities and he watches while you put Hope out for her nap, adoring you more. You have small talk as you make your way to leave but before you do, he asks you out.

Ooo I'm excited for this one, thank you!

Babysitting

Whenever someone found out about your job, which was babysitting Jesse Lingards' daughter, they were incredibly jealous. "I bet you love your job," they would say, "being able to work for one of the sexiest footballers out there!"

However, the truth was that you barely saw Jesse apart from at the beginning and end of your shifts. The rest of the time you were on your own with Hope.

Nevertheless, they were right, you did love your job. Hope was an amazing kid, both funny, sweet and fairly easy to care for. On top of that it paid way more than any of your previous babysitting gigs.

Today had started of as any other day; you going over to Jesse's house to watch Hope. Jesse greeted you as you arrived, the two of you having a quick chat before he had to leave. However, what differed from other days was the small "good luck" he had thrown your way before getting in his car.

It turned out that the normally cheerful Hope was in quite the mood; grumpily not going along with any of the things you suggested that you could do.

"Do you want to go play outside in the rain?"

"No!" She huffed, crossing her arms sassily.

"Do you want to draw something?"

"No!"

Eventually you suggested that you could bake some brownies for when her dad returned from practice. Luckily she agreed to that, her previous mood completely replaced with a cheery one.

Immediately afterwards the two of you got to work as you put on her absolute favorite soundtrack in the entire world; the one from Frozen.

The music was still playing when Jesse returned from his practice early, making his return unnoticed by the two of you.

Instead of greeting you immediately he stood in the doorway into the kitchen, watching you do the dishes while the brownies were in the oven. You and Hope were also talking about the cake you were going to eat.

"Ice cream too?" Hope asked, giving you pleading eyes.

"Are you kidding? Ice cream to brownies is mandatory!" You giggled, poking her nose playfully.

Hope wanted chocolate flavor, but you tried to tell her that vanilla was a better choice. "Since the brownies are made of chocolate it might be a bit too much chocolate then," you tried to reason, "plus vanilla is much better anyways!"

"Chocolate is best. Silly Y/N," Hope scoffed - making you laugh.

Eventually Jesse decided to make his presence known, walking into the kitchen and greeting you.

"Daddy!" Hope squealed and ran over to hug him.

"Hi princess!" He lifted her up and held her in his arms.

"You're home early!" You commented, giving him a polite smile.

"Yeah, we finished a bit earlier as a reward for our recent win," he shrugged.

You didn't quite know what to do next. Your shift didn't end for another hour or so, and the brownies weren't even finished yet, but now that Jesse was home you didn't want to overstay your welcome.

"I should probably get going then," you awkwardly said - not quite sure if you were telling him about leaving, or asking if you should.

"No," Hope protested as she heard you, "Y/N, stay!"

Jesse agreed with his daughter. "You should stay, at least until the brownies are done. Can't have you making them and not even getting a taste."

"That would be tragic," you stated with a laugh, giving in and deciding to stay a little longer.

If Jesse was honest with himself he was happy that he got to spend a little time with you too. From the start he had been attracted to you, but when he saw how great you were with Hope; and he got to know you better through small talk, the attraction had evolved into something more. He had even contemplated asking you out for a while now, but the fear of rejection held him back. Maybe you would find it weird seeing how he technically was your boss.

Before any of you could say another word your timer went off; indicating that the brownies were done. Hope clapped her hands together in glee, knowing what the sound meant. "Brownies!"

The three of you ate the brownies together in harmony. Jesse had gotten both chocolate and vanilla flavored ice cream out of the freezer, trying to make both his girls happy. Well, although you technically weren't his girl, he definitely wanted you to be.

You laughed and joked around with each other, all whilst listening to the Frozen soundtrack - that Hope refused to let you turn off.

After the brownies had been eaten it was time for Hope's afternoon nap. Jesse got up to take her, but you beat him to it. "I'll do it," you smiled and carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom.

Jesse trailed after you and watched as you laid her down and sung her favorite bedtime song, staying with her until she fell asleep.

You blushed as you felt his gaze on you, but kept your own gaze on Hope. Although you never dared to admit it to anyone you had developed a small crush on the footballer. You never said anything though, afraid he would find it weird since you worked for him.

Eventually you got up and faced him with a smile. "Well, I guess that it my cue to leave for today." He nodded, "I'll walk you to the door."

You grabbed your coat and said your goodbyes; but the minute you stepped outside you heard him speak up again.

"Would you," he cleared his voice before continuing, "would you like to go out for dinner sometime? Just the two of us, no Hope."

You smiled and internally cheered, happy he felt the same way that you did.

"Yeah, sounds like a date."

#jesse lingard #Jesse #Lingard #fanfiction #soccer #fanfic #football #england national football team #jesse lingard imagines #jesse lingard one shots #jesse lingard fanfiction #football imagines #football fluff #foootball one shots #request #manchester united #soccer imagines

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thelargefrye · 4 years

Text

MR. HOUSEDAD. when their kids crash their vlive.

── summary. how ateez reacts to their kids crashing their vlive.

── roles. dad!ateez + the ateez kids

── genre. parent + slice of life + idol + fluff + humor

── warnings. tiny bit of language (like one word)

── early access. @yunderland

── producer’s note. sorry if some are a little longer than others! i’m working on dad!ateez writing skills lol.

HONGJOONG.

saemi (four) and narae (one).

hongjoong was doing his usually vlive in his studio, just talking to atiny when his door suddenly opens. he turns around not expecting to see any visits from the members, but instead of the members it’s saemi slipping through the door with narae holding her hand.

“what are you two doing?”

“narae wanted to see you.”

hongjoong turns to pick up narae and sets her in his lap before letting saemi do the same. the three of them now sitting together as hongjoong turns back to look at the camera.

“looks like we have some surprise guests, atiny,” the comments would explode with how cute his daughters were. “ah, atiny are saying you guys are cute.”

“i know,” saemi replied back as she held her father’s hand. meanwhile, narae would try to figure out why she can see the three of them on hongjoong’s phone.

“saemi what’s your favorite song?” hongjoong had read out loud when he saw the comment go by.

“fancy!” saemi said with a smile before she asked her dad to play it. hongjoong did as she asked before she hoped off his lap once the music began. hongjoong scooted his chair back a little in order to give his daughter room to dance.

the whole time saemi danced, hongjoong had a smile on his face as narae laughed as well. the one year old do her best to dance in her dad’s lap as she tried mimic her sister’s actions.

when the chorus hit, saemi not only danced but sung the best she could and very loudly. this caused narae to laugh and clap as saemi danced passionately. when the song was over, hongjoong saw how tired saemi was and pulled back into his lap so she could cool off.

“you danced very well,” hongjoong complimented before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“i know.”

hongjoong would eventually just carry on with his vlive, talking to both atiny and his girls before noticing narae slowly dosing off in his lap.

“ah, well i guess we should go. bye atiny!” hongjoong said, waving with a smile to the camera as saemi leaned forward as far as she could without falling off of hongjoong’s lap.

“bye atiny!” saemi would say waving her tiny hand in the front of the camera before hongjoong ended the live.

SEONGHWA.

hyemi and hyewon (three) and jihoon (two).

“appa!”

seonghwa would be in the middle of talking with hongjoong when hyemi would come in rather loudly. seonghwa would watch her make her way over to him, standing between her father and hongjoong.

“what are you doing, baby?”

“jihoon’s crying.”

“what? why?”

“uncle woo scared him when we were playing,” the practice room door opened again and the three watched as wooyoung came in holding a wailing jihoon with hyewon following behind him.

seonghwa got up immediately and took his son into his arms, cooing at his son to get him to stop crying.

“is uncle woo gonna get in trouble?” hyemi asked looking at hongjoong as hyewon walked into view of the camera to join her uncle and sister.

“i think appa’s going to beat uncle woo up,” seonghwa would quickly tell atiny he would be right back leaving his twins with hongjoong as he stepped outside the practice room.

“what are you doing?”

“we’re doing a vlive, talking to atiny.”

“how come we can’t see them?” hongjoong did his best to explain vlive to the three year olds before realizing that everything was just going in one ear and out the other. after a few minutes, seonghwa came back with jihoon, who had stopped crying.

“jihoon! are you okay?” jihoon only nodded as seonghwa came to sit back down after grabbing another chair as his daughters took over his previous one.

“appa, did you beat uncle woo up?” hyewon asked looking at her dad with curious eyes as hyemi did the same thing.

“no, he didn’t mean to make jihoon cry. did he buddy?” seonghwa asked, looking down at jihoon who shook his head. seonghwa smiled before patting his son’s head.

the five, or actually four since jihoon doesn’t talk all that, continue the vlive until it’s time to end it and they all say bye.

“bye-bye!”

YUNHO.

taeyong (five) and taerim (eight months).

yunho was just talking to atiny when the practice room door opened. like with hongjoong, he thought it was another member, but was happy to see taeyong walking into the room with a smile.

“what are you doing, buddy? did you escape from mom and taerim?”

“taerim fell asleep, so i wanted to come hangout with you. what are you doing?”

“i’m talking to atiny, come say hi.”

taeyong would peak around the camera, super close up to it causing to yunho to laugh. “hi atiny!” rip all headphone users.

“taeyong don’t be too loud okay.”

“okay,” taeyong would come to sit with yunho on his lap and the two would begin talking before taeyong began talking about dinosaurs.

yunho allowed taeyong to tell atiny about dinosaurs even if most of them might not understand what exactly the five year old was talking about. of course, yunho did notice that a lot of the comments were just calling taeyong cute and how similar he looked to yunho.

“taeyongie,” yunho said, putting his hand on said boys head, catching his attention, “are you gonna talk about dinosaurs the whole time?”

“yes,” yunho couldn’t help but laugh at how blunt his answer was. the door then opened which caught both male’s attention as taeyong’s face quickly brightened up.

“taerim!” he said, causing yunho to smile as he watched you come into the practice room with your daughter in your arms. “taerim is my little sister!” taeyong said rather proudly as you handed the eight month old to her dad. taeyong got off of yunho’s lap in order to stand next this dad and sister.

yunho had noticed the staff wanting him to wrap the live up and he smiled before he spoke, “atiny! i hope you enjoyed watching and learning about dinosaurs. taeyong do you want to tell them bye?”

taeyong nodded excitedly before going up to the camera like he did when he showed up, “BYE!” rip headphone users.

YEOSANG.

aeri (five months).

yeosang was actually at home when he did his vlive. aeri was resting in her little swing when yeosang turned the live on.

“hi, atiny. i’m home right now watching aeri.” the comments immediately went crazy asking yeosang if they could see her because this would be the first time the fans would see the youngest ateez baby.

it was a big moment in ateez history. yeosang would find the comments funny and would eventually show her to the camera when she began to whine a little bit.

atiny would probably cry as they watched yeosang hold her and talk to her in order to calm her down just a little bit. when aeri did settle back down, she eventually feel asleep in yeosang’s arms.

“thankfully, since she’s still young, all aeri wants to do is eat and sleep,” yeosang begins as he carefully places her back in her little swing.

yeosang then begins talking to atiny who are still commenting about how cute yeosang looked as a dad now making him blush a little, “at first i was nervous about becoming a dad, but now, finally having her with me, i know that i’ll be okay and that i’m learning new things just like she is.”

yeosang then starts to talk about other things, but mostly about aeri as atiny notice his eyes continuously going back to her, who was still asleep next to him.

yeosang only decided to end the vlive once you got home, waving and saying goodbye as he promises to bring aeri back on when she’s a little bigger.

SAN.

raim (four).

raim crashed the vlive before it was even live. she loved being with her dad while he was at work, so he often brought her to the company when he could. and today was when san was planning to go on vlive, which raim decided to be a part of.

“raim, what are we doing right now?” san asked when the vlive started and atiny from all over started to pour in to watch.

“uhh, talk to atiny!” raim said excitedly with a smile.

“yes! and what else?”

“eat ice cream!” raim said and san looked at her confused by what she said.

“ice cream?”

“you eat ice cream with uncles all the time, so you have to eat it with me!” she said with a pout. san couldn’t help but coo at how cute his daughter looked.

“i guess we can go get ice cream,” san says as he fixes raim’s pigtails, “atiny, do you want to go on a field trip with us?”

all the comments said yes which immediately made raim happy as she noticed a bunch of smiley faces appear in the comments. hoping off of san’s lap, she tugged on his hand to get him to come with her.

her and san then traveled downstairs to the 7/11 below the company and walked around till they got to the ice cream. san allowed raim to pick out all the ice cream before buying it and headed back up to the practice room.

“better?” san asked as they sat back down and began eating their ice cream. raim smiled cutely, letting out a laugh as she nodded her head.

the two began eating the ice cream while one of the members, wooyoung, appeared and tried to steal some of the ice cream before raim scolded him.

a lot of the comments talked about how cute raim while also commenting on how cute san looked as well.

“raim,” san said earning his daughter’s attention. san laughed as he wiped off the ice cream that was on her face. “let’s make hearts for atiny, yeah?”

“yes!” the two then made several different size hearts, smiling brightly to the camera before they made an attempt to make one heart together. although while it wasn’t perfect, it was the thought that counted.

“bye, atiny! see you later!!” san said with him and raim waving before the live ended.

MINGI.

moongyu (two).

mingi actually brought moongyu into the vlive with him. atiny had asked mingi to show off his outfit, which prompted the rapper to want to show off his son’s own outfit.

“moongyu, come here, please,” mingi would call and everyone could hear the sound of loud footsteps hitting the floor before the top of moongyu’s head was seen. “me and moongyu are wearing matching outfits today,” he would add before picking his son up.

comments flooded in talking about how cute both mingi and moongyu looked causing mingi to smile as he sat back down. now with moongyu in the chair next to him.

“he’s my little fashion buddy,” he said, softly caressing his son cheek causing the two year old to let out a small giggle.

mingi would then go to read comments, reading out all the ones that commented on his and moongyu’s outfits and ones the called moongyu a fashionista.

“moongyu’s going to grow up being a fashionista,” mingi read out loud before agreeing with the comment.

like father, like son! both are fashionistas!!

mingi couldn’t help but laugh at the comment he saw, scratching the back of his neck, “actually... y/n was the one who picked our outfits out today. y/n, love, thank you!” mingi said while making a heart with his arms.

moongyu looked up at his dad before quickly trying to copy what mingi was doing.

“do you know who we’re making hearts for?”

“eomma!!” mingi nodded as the two continued to act cute and make hearts.

“and atiny!” mingi added after remembering thousands of atiny were watching. “moongyu, say something to atiny.”

“atiny...” moongyu pauses for a moment before looking at his dad, “appa, what’s atiny?”

“atiny are the ones who are watching us right now and support appa and your uncles.”

“oooh,” mingi then watched as his son hoped out of his chair before moving closer to the camera, his face overtaking most of the screen. “bye, atiny!”

mingi looked at his son in shocked before––

the broadcast has ended!

WOOYOUNG.

mikyung and mihyeon (three).

wooyoung was doing some dance covers was in the middle of finding a different song to dance to when mihyeon came in. wooyoung didn’t that she had entered the room, but fans did. they immediately started commenting about how cute mihyeon.

“mihyeon?” wooyoung was confused before turning around to see his youngest standing not too far from him. “what’s wrong, mihyeonie?”

he watched as mihyeon walked towards her dad which allowed wooyoung to take her into his arms.

“i saw you dancing and i want to dance too,” she said making wooyoung smile and brush some stray hairs out of her face.

“what song do you want to dance to?”

“ponytail!” wooyoung sigh at his daughter’s answer. sometimes he regrets letting yeosang show his girls the ponytail song, as that’s all he’s been listening to for months now. the humanoid penguins now haunting his dreams even.

but, wooyoung doesn’t want to make his daughter sad, so he agrees before searching for the song as mihyeon cheers. when the song begins to play, wooyoung moves him and mihyeon away from the camera so they can dance.

they were only a few seconds into the song before the door swung open with mikyung running in and immediately began dancing beside her sister. wooyoung couldn’t help but laugh as he stopped dancing to watch his daughters dance.

when the song was over both girls wanted to dance to it again, “appa! play it again!” mikyung said with her sister agreeing next to her.

“don’t you two want to dance to something else? how about i teach you one of my songs?”

“no! you’re songs are hard! ponytail!” mikyung said, stomping her foot on the ground. atiny could honestly only watch in amusement as wooyoung was soon defeated by his daughters and he played the song again.

“yah! atiny, don’t laugh at me it only encourages them more!”

JONGHO.

jaehwa (one).

jaehwa was originally with yunho while jongho did his vlive, but then he heard his dad start to sing and immediately escaped to go find him.

he would waddle down the hallway until yunho eventually picked him which would cause him to start crying.

he wants his papa bear, damnit, not his golden retriever uncle.

“oh, jaehwa, what’s wrong? do you want to see appa?” yunho asked before going to take the young boy to his dad.

jongho was singing a song only half-serious when the practice door opening caught his attention. he immediately smiled as he continued to sing, his phone being placed down as he held his arms out.

when jaehwa was brought into view for atiny to see, the comments exploded with how cute the maknae’s son was. yunho quickly waved to their fans before leaving the father son duo alone plus the staff. jongho continued to sing as he looked at his son, who in turned looked at his dad.

“you like when appa sings, don’t you?” jongho laughed as he spoke to his son cutely. he then turned jaehwa towards the camera for atiny to see as jongho took his son’s hand to wave at the camera. “hi, atiny!” jongho says as if jaehwa was the one talking. “i’m choi jaehwa, the gummy bear!”

jongho laughed as he sat jaehwa down in his lap before going back to talking to atiny about different things. mostly answering small questions they had about jaehwa.

“lately, jaehwa has been drinking his milk by himself, which i’m really proud of. he’s been trying to do it for a while now, so the fact that he finally achieved it... just makes me proud.”

after a little more time of jongho talking to atiny and playing with jaehwa, jongho decided to end the vlive. “bye-bye!”

#mr. housedad.#ateez x reader #ateez reactions #ateez blurbs #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez hongjoong fluff #ateez seonghwa fluff #ateez yunho fluff #ateez yeosang fluff #ateez san fluff #ateez mingi fluff #ateez wooyoung fluff #ateez jongho fluff #dad!ateez #dad ateez au #housedad :: reaction

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hoodieofholland · 4 years

Note

Maybe can u write something like reader and Tom broke up a while ago and Tom finds sex tape so he gets emotional and horny at the same time and he realise how much he misses her ?

a/n: sad and horny sounds like how i feel whenever thinking about tom and the fact that my fics are just fics lol jk anyways, hope you like it and thanks for requesting :)

NSFW CONTENT BELLOW

Warnings: angst and sad stuff, mentions of smut, language, broke up

The house was quiet, filled with the feeling of lost that has consuming Tom for the last two months. It's been hard, he made no attempt to lie to anyone who asked. It was hard to face the fact that you were no longer there.

You and Tom were in a relationship for three beautiful years, until... you weren't. Something was off, but he couldn't say what. Both of you just split apart gradually, till the day you said goodbye.

Tom tried to come up with something to distract his mind from the thought of you. He played golf twice a week, spent some time with Harrison and his brothers, watched some movies alone. And it was starting to work. He felt like moving on for the past three weeks, not thinking about you all the time.

But there was one thing he started doing tonight that seemed to bring him down again. He sat down with his laptop and scrolled through some of your memories together. It wasn't his intention at first, but he had nothing to do and was too off to watch a movie or hang with his mates, so he just thought about organizing his files when his eyes crossed with the fold that held some of his old photos. There were plenty of pictures and videos that you took. He promised himself he would drop it off, but he just couldn't take his eyes from the screen when a video came to his view.

"Stop filming me!", you yelled in a high-pitched voice while giggling at the camera Tom was holding.

"Well, miss, would you mind telling me why I thought it was so interesting filming you in this lovely evening?" Tom's voice came through the speaker, and he smiled when you bite your lips to hide a sheepishly smile.

"I burned a whole batch of cookies down", you muttered, quite amused for your lack of skills in the kitchen. Your boyfriend laughed hard and you did the same. "Shut up, dork. I'm calling Sam".

"Yeah, you better, or we're not gonna eat anything", Tom teased and you shoved his chest. "Just kiddin', love. C'mere".

And then Tom, sat on bed, lost the smile on his lips. In the video, you two were kissing, and you had an amazing smile while pecking his lips.

"Love you, darling".

"Love you too, Tommy. Now, stop this video and make this british ass useful".

He breathed heavily, determined to stop it. He was doing good now. Or at least the best he has done since you went away. But it was good enough to carry on, and he was risking it again.

But then he saw a couple of interesting frames from other records and decide to click on each one of them.

"Oh, what is it that we have here?", he said to the camera, walking inside the room and pointing it at you. You were in front of a mirror, a new lingerie playing in display for him and the camera. "Wow, darling. Didn't tell me you were putting on a show tonight".

Tom was amazed by the way both of you were so bold to each other, so comfortable with talking to a camera, while you bounced your hips in a sensual manner to him with a teasing yet sweet smile on your lips.

"It was supposed to be a surprise, Tommy", you say, resting your hands on your hips. "What you think, though?"

"Well...", he sighed dramatically and you laughed. "Can you turn around one more time for me, love? So I can give my final opinion".

You shake your head in disbelief, half laughing at his attempt, but oblige his ask.

"I think you're bloody stunning, darling. Fucking hell, how did I get so lucky?"

Tom shifts on his spot uncomfortably, feeling a light pressure on his chest at the memory of your laughing and blushing at his sassy comments.

"Yeah?", you smiled, and by the way your arms were stretched in the video, he can tell you were tugging on the collar of his shirt. "Mind stop recording it and showing me how much of a lucky man you are?"

"Fuck, dar-" and the video ended. Sat there, Tom knew pretty way what happened next. He remembered the taste of your skin when he tried to take your panties with only his teeth, tongue tracing a wet path on the softness of your hipbone.

He takes a deep breath, too aware of how fucked up he was feeling right now. He should have stopped, he knew that, but now, he just felt like another video couldn't hurt much more.

He was definitely wrong.

Bringing himself to play the next one, an older video, he realized he didn't remember about that one. It started with your face, smiling at the camera while fixing something behind it.

"Okay, I think it's alright...", you said, licking your lips as you clasped your hands together. When you stepped back, you were wearing only bra and panties, and Tom was laid on the mattress, hand over his visible bulge, stroking himself lazily over his boxers as his free arm rested behind his head.

"You look so beautiful right now" he said, groaning a little. "C'mere here, baby, can't wait much longer".

"Patience, eager boy. Save some for the camera", you giggled while crawling on bed to sit on his lap.

"Fuck, can't believe we doing this", he said, hands automatically running down from your hips to your ass. He gives it a firm slap and squeeze. "Gonna treat you just right, so you won't need any video to remind you who made you feel this good, baby".

Tom had completely forgotten that he still had that video saved in his laptop. He suddenly felt flushed for watching it after you broke up, but then again he couldn't take his eyes off the screen when you were taking out your bra, freeing your pretty boobs.

The sounds of your whines and moans filled the room now, and Tom could swear he felt your touch just by the way he remembered of how good it was. Watching you so intense, so given to him, he started to feel his cock hardening by the thought of you riding him like you did that night.

"Fuck", he mutters to himself as he watched you being flipped on the mattress when the pleasure was too much to take and your legs too weak to keep going. In the video, Tom started to fuck you, one of your legs wide open for him and your eyes rolled back as you tugged hard on his biceps to keep yourself steady. Watching the scene, Tom brought his hand over his crotch and started to feel a bit of what he was feeling that night, as he palmed himself.

Right now, Tom knew he had taken a path that was no longer healthy. He so desperately needed to feel you, to touch you. He missed you. He missed the way you would moan his name, they way your hands would grip on his hair when he was eating you out, the way you laughed when something came wrong in the moment, but kept so horny that it wouldn't matter. He missed you and all the affection that you both shared when having sex.

"Tom, I'm gonna-" you moaned loud. It was almost pornographic, but surely was better than porn. For a second, Tom thought about getting off with the video. He was fucking horny at this point, after all, and he knew damn well that if he touched himself it'd be you on his mind all the time anyways. Besides, he hadn't fucked since you went away. But then again, when it was coming to an end, he felt sad, watching you both reaching your highs and holding each other for dear life. It was intimate and beautiful. He missed that too.

"Need to turn off the camera, darling", he said, breath still heavy as he propped his hand on the mattress. You held him closer, not giving him a chance to move.

"Not yet", you breathed out. You still wanted to keep yourself full of him, feel his cock inside of you. "I'm not ready", you bite your lips and smile when he nodded and gave you a kiss on your cheek. "I love you, Tom".

"Love you so fucking mu-"

Tom shot the laptop down, eyes tearing up as he felt the clench on his chest. Fuck, he missed you more than he was willing to admit, more than he wanted to. The images of you close to him, whispering his name, it wouldn't leave his mind even if he closed his eyes tightly.

Tom knew that night would be long, and he just hoped that he might feel you close to him in that way again.

*************

Taglist:

@pinkrockstar19 @onyourgoddamnleft @spideyspeaches

@miraclesoflove @zspideyy

#tom holland #tom holland blurbs #tom holland imagines #tom holland fic #tom x reader #tom holland smut #boyfriend!tom #request #anon

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strangerivy · 3 years

Text

The Titan Boy

Summary: After the Scouts gain custody of Eren Yeager and Y/N witness the beating her boyfriend, Levi inflicts on him to do that something buried deep in her heart, breaks through the cracks that she and Levi must overcome to move forward. Warnings: Swearing Pairings: Levi Ackerman x Reader (y/n) Genre: 18+ | Fluff | Angst Word Count: 4.2K Author’s Note: Guys, I actually cried writing this. I hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think! Also I can do a tag list for any Levi fics I writing if people are interest just ask!

|| Masterlist | AOT Masterlist ||

Year 850 - Summer

It was supposed to be just like any other expedition, reclaim a town that would be lost once you left. You would rechart the area taking note of what had changed and what had been found in the time that area had been abandoned all those years ago.

You stood behind Levi watching around you to make sure no titans came out of nowhere while he did his best to comfort the dying soldier. Petra glanced up at you meeting your gaze, tears slowly falling down her cheeks as she listened to Levi. You quickly looked away tensing for a moment when you saw movement but relaxed seeing it was Erwin. Everything was going okay, until this moment.

Erwin approached with a grim look on his face “Levi!” He shouted; Levi stood up turning to face the commander with a raised brow. Erwin stopped his horse just in front of us. I turned to help Petra up as she patted off the dirt from her pants.

“We’re pulling out,” Erwin announced making both you and Petra snap your heads up to look at him.

“Sir?” Petra questioned.

“What the hell I-” Levi stuck his hand out in front of you silently telling you to stop.

“What do you mean? You damn well know we can push further? My men didn’t die to pave our retreat,” Levi shot a glare up at Erwin at that last part and Erwin gave just as serious a look back, he looked between the three of us before answering.

“There’s a swarm of titans moving north, there bearing down on the city,” You sucked in a breath, and Petra’s eyes widened. Levi grimaced at the news, you were the first to move grappling back through the buildings heading towards where your horses were being watched, Levi shouting after you.

Just as Erwin had predicted, the titans had breached Trost but to your surprise, the hole had been plugged by a boy. A boy that had the ability to transform into a titan.

You couldn’t help but pace as you waited for Levi and Erwin down in the basement talking to the boy that you now knew, was named Eren. A recruit from the 104th cadet corps hadn’t even made it to selection night. He was just a kid. Hange hummed calmly leaned up against the wall Moblit right beside her as you all waited.

“What’s taking them so long,” You grumbled and Hange chuckled

“Careful Y/N, don’t get to worked up,” She warned with a cheeky grin and you rolled your eyes dragging your feet towards her falling back to leaning against the wall with an over-extracted huff. You had questions, questions you knew you could discuss with Hange but, you glanced over at the MP’s guarding the door to the basement, you didn’t want them listening in on your conversation.

The door opened and you all stood up straight as Erwin walked through followed by Levi.

“We’ll discuss the details more later, Levi,” Erwin instructed him before turning giving you a nod before heading off somewhere.

“Y/n,” You turned to look at Levi again and he motioned his head for you to follow. You said goodbye to Hange and Moblit before following Levi back to your temporary quarters while here in the interior. He held the door open for you shutting it once you both were in. You went and sat on the armchair waiting for him to inform you of what was going on.

You tapped your foot impatiently as he made you both some tea handing you yours as he sat down with his cup. You took a quick sip staring him down.

“Stop staring,”

“Levi.”

“Fine,” He set his glass down on the small table in between you both letting out a small sigh, “We are going to petition for the boy to be released into the custody of the Scouts-”

“That’s it?”

“Would you let me finish?” You sealed your lips motioning for him to continue, he shook his head taking another sip of his tea.

“He will most likely be released into my care and will become part of the squad.” You nodded your head at this information expecting it really, “There won’t be any room for error however if something goes wrong, we’ll have to put him down.” Your eyes widened as you sat back in your chair staring at the empty fireplace.

“He’s just a child,” You whispered mostly to yourself not liking the sound of this plan. Levi really expected you to be able to put down a child if it came down to it? Your frown deepened at the thought and you were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice Levi get up grabbing your empty cup from your hands.

He leaned down kissing the top of your head gently, “I need to speak with Erwin more, I’ll expect to see you in the courtroom when the time comes y/n”

Saying you were pissed was a slight understatement, shooting Daggers at the man next to you as you walked down the hall with Erwin and Hange. Erwin noticing your glare but not letting up on the conversation with Levi regarding your new Titan shifting recruit. Eren Yeager. Also, a 15-year-old boy that you just witness your boyfriend beat nearly to death with not an ounce of regret.

You didn’t really know why you were so mad, really you didn’t. But it just really really irked you. You let out a frustrated huff turning your attention back to the steps in front of you and Levi snapped his head towards you with a frown and small glare of his own.

“Will you drop the dramatics?” He ordered and being the obedient Scout you were, you didn’t listen scoffing at his words forcing an irritated growl from him stopping in his tracks Hange and Erwin stopping a few paces in front of you watching the scene play out at a safe distance. “Care to explain why the hell your acting like this?” Levi spat eyes narrowed at your back as you were turned away from him arms crossed over your chest.

You quickly snapped your head to look at him cheeks reddening from anger as you took a step closer to him. “You nearly beat him to death Levi!” your voice raised a few octaves and Levi was not a fan of that taking a step closer so you were almost nose to nose, neither of you backing down from the other.

“What the hell did you expect me to do?” He questioned you through gritted teeth “You heard Erwin, it was the right card to play.” You let out another scoff not believeing your ears. You jabbed his chest with your finger knowing what kind of button you were pushing when doing it. Hange making an ‘Ooo’ sound as you did, waiting in anticipation for your next words.

“What,” Jab “The hell,” Jab “kind of card is that, Levi? He’s 15 years old! What if he couldn’t regenerate! What if you beat him to a pulp and he couldn’t recover! You played your card on a damn WHIM!” You shouted the last part hands on your hip as you waited for his explanation. Levi was calm. To calm really at your outburst. Normally by now, he would have pulled you to a private room to have this kind of argument.

“Wow y/n, I never knew you could be so motherly,” Levi and you both froze, eyes widening at each other, cheeks turning bright red at Hange’s statement. You panicked unable to look at Levi now turning to face her and a smirking Erwin.

“Tha-that isn’t wha-t-t th-is is,” You stuttered cheeks growing redder eyes darting around the room,

“Now that you say that Hange, I have noticed that you have been quite more attentive to the children in the city than usual, y/n.” Erwin pointed out the sly smirk never leaving his face as he spoke, and you wanted to punch it right off his face your cheeks feeling as if they were on fire at this point.

“I have to go,” You huffed quickly walking away from them leaving Levi to deal with them, your argument completely forgotten. You march aimlessly down the hall with no destination in mind but to be away from them.

You ended up on a balcony overlooking the interior letting out a heavy sigh leaning back against the wall resting your head against it letting the evening sun warm your skin. You slid down the wall resting your arms on your knees once seated.

You looked up at the sky thinking back on the situation you had just escaped from trying to place why it bothered you so much. Deep down you already knew why, a longing for something more buried deep within you knowing in the world you lived now it would be impossible. You couldn’t justify bringing a child into this dark world no matter how much you craved it.

Levi and you had been together 5 years and the conversation has never come up, never really being an issue till recently when your want to be a mother started breaking through the cracks of your heart. Wet droplets hit the stone beneath you as the tears fell from your cheeks mourning the life you never could have.

Levi searched up and down the halls and rooms of HQ looking for you, growing ever the more frustrated with each empty room. Deciding to head back to your shared room to wait for you. He scolded himself knowing he should have gone after you the minute you ran off but was frozen by both Hange and Erwin’s words. Was that something you wanted? A child? A family, with him?

A scoff left his mouth at himself, of course it was what you wanted. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have reacted in such a way. He wasn’t blind, he knew something was bothering you lately, you thought you hid it well, but he could see it, he would always see. The way you spoke with the few kids that came up to you both when in uniform excitedly asking questions before expeditions. The way your smile would falter just a bit when their parents rounded them up.

His frown deepened with each memory that passed through his mind of all the signs of the secret that you held so close to you. He passed a hall pausing his step when the faint sound of a sniffle caught his interest. He turned taking light steps to you see you sitting on the ground, knees held tightly to you as you silently cried to yourself. His chest tightening at the sight.

“Y/n,” You stiffened at his voice quickly looking up at him with tear-stained cheeks, you looked away quickly wiping them away trying to pretend that he didn’t just walk in on you like this.

“Levi, I didn’t hear you,” You forced yourself to smile as you looked back up at him, his expression blank and unreadable as he stared down at you a hand slowly moving from his side to offer to you. You took it pulling yourself up and when you were almost standing his grip tightened before pulling you end to him arms wrapping around you tightly. You stared in a bit of shock not sure what to do as he held you.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered into your ear. You didn’t need to ask what about already knowing. Sorry for not being able to give you the life you craved. Sorry for this shitty world. You wrapped your arms around him gripping at his jacket as you buried your face into the curve of his neck fresh tears falling.

“Me too.”

You and Levi headed out the next morning with Eren riding silently as you met up with the rest of your squad before heading to your new temporary living situation. The old abandoned former Scouts HQ in between Hermina District and Trost District. Far enough from any towns, just in case the worst-case scenario happened.

Your grip on your reins tightened at the thought but you were quick to push it aside relaxing. Your rode next to Petra behind Oluo and Eren and Levi right behind you. Petra noticed your slight change in demeanor giving a concerned look that you shook your head to let her know it was nothing. Being the only two females in the squad you had a closer bond from the others.

Oluo was going on about how Eren shouldn’t expect a royal treatment from us despite his importance to the Scouts or Humanity in general. In a moment of attempted intimidation from Oluo, his horse hit a rock jerking him forward making him bit his tongue once again sending him screeching in pain sending you and Petra into a fit of silent giggles.

You arrived at the old HQ getting off your horse staring up at the old castle. From years of being vacant, it was overgrown with weeds and no doubt did it have a thick layer of dust all over the inside. You directed your horse towards the stables tying her up so you could clean out a stale for her. Eren walked past you, hood of his new Scouts cloak still up as he looked around at the team.

“Hello,” You greeted he jumped at the sound of your voice not noticing you, he turned to face you

“He-hello,” He greeted tying his horse up as well to get the stall next to yours cleaned out. You finished your stall untying your horse leading her in and start taking off her reins.

“I don’t believe we have formally met yet, my name's y/n,” You greeted with a soft smile, you didn’t want him to think you all were only here to be his killers if it came to it. The way you saw it, he was still a boy. Despite his gift. If that’s what you would call it.

“You’re the second-in-command, right? I- I um saw you next to the Captain at my trial.” He was shy and a bit awkward which you guessed was normal for a teenager. You finished up walking out of the stale, you shook your head going to help him.

“No, that’s Eld’s job. Levi and I have just- we’ve known each other a long time,” You informed him, and he seemed a bit shock at the information. You didn’t blame him, the way you carried yourself, and the way the others respected you it made seem as if you were the second in command, but you turned down the position when Levi offered it saying you didn’t want that kind of responsibility. Even so, the squad still treated you as such knowing about your relationship with the Captain.

“Y/n,” You looked up seeing Levi not too far off from you, he stared at you before looking over at Eren and then back to you “We have some cleaning to do, you too Eren,” You nodded falling after him into the castle.

After a long day of cleaning and organizing and getting rooms ready, you all sat at one of the tables drinking some tea that Levi made in the old dining room. You silently took a sip avoiding Levi’s gaze on you ever so often. You hadn’t really spoken much since he found you crying. Not ready to talk about what never could be, but he waited as patiently as he could.

You set your cup down leaning back in your chair relaxing a bit. You stretched out one of your legs ready for when you could take the straps off.

“It’s safe to assume our orders will stretch into next week but word through the grapevine is we’re gearing up for a big mission a month from now,” Eld informed your ears perking up a curious glance over at Levi through the corner of your eye, “One where a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears graduates are slated to be our main backup.” Levi noticed your stare shooting you a look to tell you that the two of you would speak later about it.

“Well, that can’t be right,” Gunther spoke up now and you turned your attention to him “why do something like that? The cadets have been through enough with the last Titan attack. Why subject them to that kind of danger again?”

“Perhaps the uppers feel that since they have had their exposure that they can handle a mission right out of the gate,” You spoke up attention turning to you as you spoke, “We all know the ones that survived have the skill at least,” You took another sip of tea.

“You have to wonder how many of those snivel-drop runts peed themselves,” You smirked into your cup at Eld’s words knowing full well that he was one of those Cadet’s not long ago.

“Surely this can’t be the case?” Petra turned to Levi in disbelief at the news. Levi sat relaxed in his chair one arm resting against the back of the chair the other on the table.

“Mission planning is my responsibility, but it is Erwin’s. And you can bet the man has obsessed over every angle.” Levi answered and you nodded in agreement. Eld rested his arms on the table his hands held together as he rests his chin on them.

“Well, that’s the truth,” He responded, confirming Levi’s statement “Especially given how unique the situation is. Considering how many people died on the path to taking back Wall Maria, then hope comes in a form no one expected.” Eld shifted his gaze to Eren “One we’re not even really entirely sure on how to deal with,” Eren visibly tensed as the gaze of the whole squad turned to him.

“Eld,” You warned a sudden sense of protectiveness running through you and Levi was quick to notice.

“Y/n,” Levi warned you and sunk back in your chair arms crossed as you stared at the ground.

“Most of us still find it hard to believe,” Eld continued “So, how does it work? This whole changing into a Titan trick. Really?”

“Wish I could tell you, but the fact is my memory’s not clear, guess it’s kind of like being a trance. I do know the trigger seems to be hurting myself in some way. Like biting my hand.” Eren held his hand up staring at it as the others all looked at him wanting more answers than they were going to get out of him.

“You’re not going to get anything out of him. Apart from what the scribblers have laid out in the reports,” Levi grabbed a hold of his cup letting out a hum,” Not that you-know-who won’t have a go at it.” This brought a smile to your face as he spoke about Hange as if saying her name would summon her from thin air. “You’ll be lucky to come out of it alive if that one lays into you, course it's only a matter of time.”

Eren got visibly nervous at Levi’s words looking over at you who tried to suppress the grin on your face. “I’m honestly surprised they aren’t here yet, I expected them hours ago,” You played along with Levi’s game of teasing Eren seeing it as harmless knowing full well Hange would never really put Eren in any true danger if she could help it.

“Who’re you talking about?” Eren asked leaning forward and as if on queue a loud bang hit the door behind you with a loud shout of pain behind it, Petra getting up to remove the wooden bar that kept it locked.

Hange walked in holding her forehead and you couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped your lips.

“I’m so sorry. Good evening, Team Levi!” She greeted walking into the room, Levi looking both annoyed and unsurprised by her “How is castle life treating you all?”

“You’re too early.” Levi complained and Hange smirked at him walking over to the empty seat across from you.

“Am I? S’pose I couldn’t help myself.” She joked and you smiled over at her

“Well, I say you are late, what took you so long?” You asked finishing off your tea.

“Ah you know, paperwork this and paperwork that,” You nodded knowing the feeling, Eren stared at Hange a bit confused as to why she was here.

“Section commander Hange?” He questioned and Hange turned her attention to him

“Hello Eren,” she greeted “In the event, you haven’t pieced it together yet, it's my job to spearhead the Scout Regiments research efforts. Essentially, I poke and prod our captive Titan specimens. I’d very much like your help.”

“My help? In what way? Like what would I have to do?” Eren questioned obviously not sure on how he could help himself

“Join me, of course!” Hange was getting excited her voice raising a little “On a quest of scientific discovery!”

Eren leaned back getting more nervous as Hange went on “Well, uh… I’m happy to help, except it's not up to me. I’m on strict restriction by order of the higher-ups you see,” Hange smiles looking over at Levi.

“Levi! What's on the docket for him tomorrow?” She asked excitedly looking over at the Captain

“Clearing out all the weeds.” He answered unamused

“Excellent, then! It’s cinched!” Hange leaned down to Eren grabbing a hold of his hand “Young man, tomorrow will be grand.”

“Hange calm down, you're going to scare the poor boy,” You pointed out and Hange nodded relaxing just a bit and Eren shot you a quick look of thanks before turning back Hange.

“Uh, okay but just so I’m clear, what exactly will I be doing?” He asked and Hange hummed letting him know to continue his question “Are you running experiments or something?”

“Idiot. Shut Up,” Oluo whispered head resting on his hand

Hange sighed looking over at Eren overjoyed by his question “Ahh I knew it! You possess a singularly curious mind, don’t you?”

You let out a sigh pushing your way up as did the rest of the squad not wanting to stick around for what was going to be a long night of Hange go over her experiments with Eren.

“Hange,” You started, and she gave a hum to let you know she was listening “Let him get some sleep tonight, yeah?”

“I can’t promise anything, y/n! You know that!” She beamed and you shook your head following Levi out the door that he was waiting for you by. The walk back to your quarters was quiet as you walked next to each other, he opened the door once you arrived and shut it once you were in. You walked over to the bed sitting down on it with a sigh of relief ready to take off your uniform for the night.

You pulled your shoes off, setting them neatly next to the bed, and started to unbuckle your straps when Levi walked over smacking your hands away to do it himself. You looked up at him curiously noticing a very faint blush on his cheeks.

“We need to talk about this, y/n.” He pushed and you let out a heavy sigh starting to pick at your fingers as he gently removed the belts from around you, he tugged at one that signaled for you to stand up and you did, your chest pressing against his as you did from how close he was standing to you. You felt his breath on your cheek but didn’t want to turn your head knowing if you did you would break down again.

“I know your smart, so I know that you are aware that we can’t fulfill that dream of yours, and I- I don’t know if we ever will,” He started, you bit your lip as you tried your best to hold back tears. The last buckle coming undone sent your straps falling to the floor and Levi sighed grabbing your chin gently to turn you to look at him. “the is one thing though I am willing to do for you, one thing I’ve always intended to do with you,” He walked over to the dresser in the room digging through one of the drawers as you back down on the bed staring at him curiously something grasped in his hand as he turned back to face you.

“I know I am not good at expressing my love for you,” He walked back over kneeling down to your level grabbing a hold of your hand, “and perhaps I waited far longer than I intended to do this but the timing never felt right.” He reached up cupping your cheek leaning in for a kiss and when he parted he opened up his hand to reveal a simple silver band, the one you actually saw a few years prior. You looked up at him with wide eyes recognizing the piece of jewelry and he smirked knowing how confused you were.

“I bought it when you went to get those pastries for lunch,” He admitted to you

“That day was two years ago, you’ve held onto it all this time?” You asked in disbelief, he nodded shyly.

“I- I can’t give you children y/n, not when the world is so fucked up but-but I do want to marry you if that can be enough?” The tears flowed freely down your cheeks as your lips spread into a smile nodding your head. It would be enough, as long as Levi was there. He would always be enough.

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #LEVI ACKERMAN #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman attack on titan #levi #Captain Levi #levi attack on titan #levi aot #captain levi x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction

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believinghurts · 3 years

Text

Their Daughter

Authors Note: I swear I posted this before, but I can’t find it anywhere on my account so I’m thinking Tumblr deleted it. I did add a little onto the end if this part so if you have read I would advise to read it again. Please don’t copy to other sites.

Warnings: yelling, crying, uhhhhh

The week and a half at Malfoy Manor passed way too fast for Ali’s liking. In all honesty, she wasn’t looking forward to spending the rest of her summer with the Weasley bunch and Potter. School started in three weeks as it was and she knew that she would be seeing plenty of them there, and spending even more time with them made her want to vomit. She felt like she was able to breathe when she was with the Malfoys. She missed her Uncles but spending so much time with Narcissa and her friends helped take her mind off of everything.

After their first trip to Diagon Alley, they want another time just Narcissa and Ali to spend some quality time together and that’s how Ali was ending up with a trunk so full she and Draco had to sit on it to close it, her friends were around the Manor a lot more. Pansy, Theo, and Blaise had stayed the night after their families had dinner together meaning that they all slept in the living room after talking late into the night. Ali was woken up by her aunt shaking her awake, telling her that if she wanted Blaise to stay breathing she needed to move. Somehow that night the two had ended up right beside each other with Ali’s head on Blaise's right arm while his left was under his head. This was something that Draco now used to blackmail Ali into doing things he didn’t want to do since he knew his father would murder any boy that so much looked at Ali.

Ali sighed before calling the house-elf to take her trunk downstairs. Doing a quick once over of her royal blue bedroom she grabbed her wand before making her way down the stairs. She left to go back home today and as excited as she was to see Regulus and Remus, the knot forming in her stomach at seeing Sirius made her ill. Her confidence had grown some after talking with Narcissa about what was going on at home. Cissa assured her that Sirius was just being Sirius and not seeing the hurt he was inflicting. Ali wanted to believe her aunt's words that he would come around more when he knew that the Malfoys were not a threat. She had made sure Ali knew that she was just as good if not better than the Potter boy because she didn’t judge anyone no matter their house. Draco was livid when he found out what was happening between Sirius and Ali, blaming it all on Potter for being the snake that he feared Draco was so much. Draco had made her swear that if Harry or anyone said anything to make her upset that she would write Draco right away and he would be there in a heartbeat.

“I knew that dress would look stunning on you,” Narcissa stood as Ali entered the living room. Ali smiled at her aunt as she kissed her on the cheek. She did a little spin when Narcissa motioned her to do so causing the dark blue dress to flare out at the bottom right above her knees. Cissa had insisted she bought it even if it wasn’t something Ali would have normally worn. She had paired it with her favorite white combat boots and black tights making the little white spots on the sleeves stand out even more. Narcissa hugged Ali once more, and Ali knew she didn’t want to send her back to Grimmauld Place, but school started soon and Ali wanted to spend some more time with Regulus and get her stuff ready. “We are going to miss you so don’t forget to write, and we will see you at the train station.”

Ali nodded, hugging her aunt close before moving onto Lucius who kissed her cheek wishing her good luck at home and to write if she needed anything. Draco was last, he tried to act indifferent, but Ali knew he didn’t want her to leave. She stuck her hand out causing him to roll his eyes before pulling her into a hug. Draco had grown quite a bit the last couple of years making Ali eye level with his shoulder. “Write to me the minute something goes wrong, and I’ll be there to save you. Potter be damned.”

Ali giggled, “Of course, Dray. Behave for mother, and make sure if you see our friends that you tell them I’ll see them soon.”

Ali grabbed her trunk while Lucius called for Winks the house-elf to come apparate Ali back home. She gave her extended family one last smile before grabbing Winks's hand. They landed across the street of Grimmauld Place, Ali gave Winks a bar of chocolate out of her pocket before bidding goodbye. She walked in the door hearing noise coming from the living room and dining area. It was just after lunch so she assumed everyone was still hanging out there. She debated going straight to her room first but decided not to. She pulled her trunk behind her till she reached the dining room. There everyone was, immediately Ali wished she was back at the Manor where it was peaceful and she wasn’t getting stared at like she was right now. She pulled down the sleeves on her dress a little more not noticing how big of a mistake that was.

She saw Regulus standing in the corner, he smiled at her. Regulus was happy that Ali got to stay away for a little bit. He was able to give Sirius a piece of his mind, which happened often, without Ali overhearing. Screaming matches could be heard coming from the study more often than not after someone made rude comments about Ali or her friends. Sirius still had acted like Ali was staying with the Dark Lord himself instead of family and it had pushed Regulus to the edge more than once. Regulus knew that Remus was on the same page as him, he was over the comments from Sirius. Regulus had noticed that Harry didn’t say anything bad about her or Slytherins if Remus was present. He had taken a liking to the oldest two Weasleys and Fleur, they were nice to Ali and Fleur often defended her by saying kind things. Regulus knew that Fleur stuck out in the Weasley family, he had seen the looks some of the younger ones would give her. He felt bad for her and often tried to make sure she felt comfortable, much like he knew she did for Ali.

Ali hugged her uncle tight, she had missed the safety feeling that came from burying herself in his chest. Remus was quick to join the two, squeezing Ali to him before kissing her head. Ali quickly tucked herself back into Regulus' side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, “How was it? Did you have fun?”

Ali smiled at him and Remus, “I did. Pansy, Blaise, and Theo stayed over after we had dinner with their families. Cissa took me shopping, twice mind you. Draco almost made the house explode with some potion he was trying to make to dye Theos hair. It was supposed to change with his mood, but instead, it ended up all over the ceiling. Aunt Cissa didn’t stop yelling at him for an hour,” She laughed at the memory of Draco’s face while his mother yelled that he had ruined her ceiling. “Um, what else?” She knew Regulus wanted to know exactly what she did. He was always interested in her life often making her tell stories from school in detail. She was never allowed to leave with just a generic ‘fine’ that some teenagers got away with. “Oh Lucius took us to Hogsmede, claiming that it was to get Cissa some sugar quills, but the number of chocolate frogs said differently. Oh, Cissa told me to tell you that she ordered me new school robes and that you needed to pick them up or she could bring them to the station.”

“You didn’t tell me you needed robes?” Regulus raised his eyebrow, surely she would have told him if she needed something like that.

“Oh I don’t, but Draco did since he grew again and Cissa said I should just get some so I have extras. I-”

“Why don’t you just brag some more,” an icy voice cut her off. Ali looked to see Sirius standing behind Harry with his hands on his shoulders. She hadn’t noticed him when she came in so she was wondering what all he had heard. She wasn’t bragging about anything. She knew the Weasley’s had financial problems, but this was her home. She was allowed to talk about things she did with her Aunts even if it was out spending an obscene amount of money.

“I-I wasn’t bragging,” Ali stuttered, “I just was telling Uncle Regulus what I-I had done.��

“Oh yeah right. You had fun, right? That’s good,” Sirius walked around the table towards Ali who naturally stepped closer to Regulus. Her uncle tensed when he saw that Ali was scared of his brother. “So why are you wearing long sleeves? It’s like 80 degrees out. You must be warm in them.”

“Sirius,” Remus’s tone was a warning. He knew what Sirius was thinking, but he had hope that Sirius knew not to do it.

Sirius ignored Remus continuing to walk towards his brother and daughter. “You decided that you wanted to match Regulus too? Spend some time with the Dark Lord the past couple of weeks?”

“Sirius you stop this instant she didn’t do anything,” Molly spoke up for the girl while pushing the other children out of the room. She tried to get Harry to leave but gave up after he insisted he stayed where he was.

“No, Molly, cause you to see Regulus was her age when he got the mark. And I’m starting to wonder if Ali doesn't have it as well. Spies the both of them. Playing the part of perfect uncle and niece. Show me your arm, Alianova.”

Ali stayed where she was, not moving an inch. She felt her breath pick up as Sirius walked closer. “Ali, I said show me your arm.” She shook her head no. She didn’t have anything to hide, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of listening to him. He hadn’t earned her trust or respect at this point. Sirius reached out and grabbed Ali’s arm. That was when all Hell broke out.

Sirius had enough time to push her sleeve up before he was shoved back by Regulus. Ali cried out when Sirius’s nails dug into her skin hard enough to bleed. Remus grabbed Sirius, pulling him back while he stared in shock at Ali who had tears streaming down her cheek staring at him in disbelief.

Regulus lunged at Sirius only to be held back by Bill Weasley, “Stop. Stop, Regulus. Ali needs you. Go.” He lightly pushed Regulus back towards Ali. Regulus felt this heart crack in his chest when he saw that Ali sitting on the floor holding her arm to her chest. Her tears dripping down her chin as she watched Remus pace in front of Sirius who was still looking at her.

Regulus knelt beside Ali gently pulling her arm to him revealing the four scratch marks on the pale flesh. Each had drops of blood running down the sides. Regulus grabbed the tea towel off the counter-pressing it to the wound. Ali leaned into his shoulder letting her tears catch on the fabric of his shirt. She was trembling from the shock that someone who was supposed to love her could hurt her like this. She had always known of the Black Temper; it was famous really. But even when she saw her grandmother and Regulus angry, they had never hurt her. Sirius was her father; it was his job to protect her was it not? She understood that he never wanted her, she was a mistake. Ali had come to terms when that a long time ago, but for him to actively hurt her shook her to her core. Ali was focused on Regulus, but from the corner of her eye, she could see Remus shaking with rage at Sirius. Regulus cupped her cheeks in his hands wiping away her falling tears. “Are you okay?”

She numbly nodded at her uncle. “Ali, I am so sorry-”

“NO,” The venom in Ali’s voice shocked those that were in the room as she stood with Regulus’s help. “No. You don’t get to apologize. You knew what you were doing and you didn’t care! You never have. And never will. I get it okay?” Ali walked towards Sirius so she was a couple of feet in front of him, but near the stairs to make her exit if she couldn't handle it anymore. “I know that I wasn’t planned or wanted. I know that I’m not Harry Bloody Potter, but you know what I am? I’m YOUR daughter. That doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t care that it's your job to raise me and protect me and love me. You never did it. I have no memories of you. Not one. My uncles told me how good of a parent you were when I was little, but I don’t believe that anymore. Hell, if someone told me you put me in a room and left me there it would be more believable.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose letting out a sigh. She never stood up to people much, but she was sick and tired of Sirius thinking he could act like this towards her. “I used to look up to you. I never listened to the bad things people said because I thought you were good. I wanted to make you proud of me even if I never got to meet you. Then you got out. But instead of coming for your flesh and blood, you came for him,” She flung her arm in Harry’s general direction. “You were never there for me. That’s fine too. Wanna know why? Because I have people who are always there for me. People who love me unconditionally, and make me see that I am enough. Do you know who those people are? A big chunk of them is the Malfoys. I had a lot of fun staying with them, but one of my favorite parts was when Lucius told me that even if you didn’t see how great of a daughter I was that he and Regulus did. The Lucius Malfoy made ME feel better because you treat me like rubbish.”

Ali walked closer to Sirius. The only noise in the room was coming from her, and if she stopped talking a pin dropping could be heard. Regulus was stunned by her outburst but knew deep down that it was coming. Sirius had pushed her too far, and once Ali was done it was going to take a lot more than Bill Weasley to hold him back. “I have never called anyone else ‘Dad’, but now I regret it. Regulus is more of my father than you could ever be. I hope you have fun with your son.” She spat looking Sirius in the eye before turning on her heel fleeing up the stairs. Tears fell again as she shut and locked her door behind her, sliding down the other side of it. Even if what she said was true it didn’t mean that it hurt any less knowing that Sirius would never choose her.

Downstairs Regulus was fuming. He was shocked that Ali called him ‘dad’ even if he had wanted that for as long as he could remember. But the other part of him wanted to break Sirius in half. He felt the rage coming back from when he was a child. He felt the urge to kill but knew that he wouldn’t. He couldn’t think of himself, he had too much at stake. He hadn’t been able to think of himself for the last fifteen years. Sirius had done a lot of messed up things in his life, but this took the cake. Regulus forgave him a long time ago for him leaving, and for the bullying that he did to Regulus through school, but this was unforgivable. Ali was a child who didn’t understand why she wasn’t good enough or why her father was hell-bent on her being on the side with the Dark Lord when she was the furthest away from him.

Regulus stood brushing off his hands on his pants before stalking towards Sirius how a predator stalks its prey. He saw Bill and Arthur move forward a few inches more than likely ready to intervene if needed. Remus’s eyes had a little more green in them than normal probably due to the rage he was feeling and the fact that the full moon was less than a week away. It was honestly shocking that Remus hadn’t thrown Sirius into the wall yet. Regulus stopped when he was toe to toe with his brother.

“How dare you do what you just did to her! She is a child, Sirius. She is supposed to be your child,” Regulus’s voice was eerily calm when he spoke making the hairs on Remus’s neck stand from the amount of venom present. “Frankly I have no idea how she is half you. All she wanted to do was get away from all the stress that has come from living here the past couple of months. She has been a shell of herself since you came back really, but when she came through those doors I saw her coming back to herself. That couldn’t happen though, could it? Had to accuse her of having the Dark Mark, which she didn’t, but when she refused to show you because she doesn’t owe you anything you hurt her. You made her bleed. She is your daughter and you made her bleed. Do us all a favor and leave her alone. I opened this home to you and the Order because it was the right thing to do. Ali agreed that she wanted to help, but this can’t keep happening. I can’t put her at risk anymore. So leave her alone and if she sheds another tear because of you then you will leave.”

Sirius stood stunned. His younger brother hadn’t stood up for himself even when they were children. That was the most he had heard Regulus talk in his life. He felt bad that he had hurt Ali, he never meant to, but he has to protect Harry and the Order. He doesn’t trust the Malfoys and Ali had been there. How was he to know that she didn’t have the Mark? All she had to do was show her arm. Simple really. He glanced around the room as Regulus walked away not waiting for his response. Sirius knew that Regulus meant what he had said. Molly had started cleaning up the kitchen with a sad look in her eyes, while Arthur and Bill had left the room. Remus met his eyes but shook his head at him disappointed. “Come on, Harry. I need a walk.”

------------------

Ali wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting on the floor of her room. It was quiet downstairs which was concerning, but she didn’t think much of it. Hopefully Regulus hadn’t killed Sirius, but if he did she wouldn’t blame him. She had cried herself numb. She didn’t have any tears left, her throat was scratchy from the sobs. Part of her wanted to go back to Malfoy Manor where she was safe and welcomed, but the other part of her wanted to find her uncle and have him read to her like he did when she was a child.

A knock at her door pulled her from her musings. “Al? Open the door darling. It’s just me.” Regulus’s voice came from the other side.

Very slowly Ali stood up leaning onto the table by the door for support. She turned the lock and instantly Regulus opened the door. He kissed her forehead before leading her to her bed. Ali had yet to change out of her dress, but she didn’t really care. Regulus snagged the blanket off the foot of her bed before gently pushing her down into it and covering them both with the blue and silver blanket. Ali positioned herself with her head on Regulus' shoulder. Exhaustion weighing down heavy on her. Even though it was early she could feel her eyes droop as he carded a hand through her hair. “Thank you, dad. For loving me.”

Regulus’s heart swelled and broke with those words, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before her soft snores filled the room.

———————-

Regulus wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he stroked his niece's hair. He was mad at his brother for basically throwing away the only good thing that had ever come from the Black family. Sirius was too blinded by the past to see what was right in front of him. As children, Sirius often told Regulus that he was their family's favorite and that it bothered him, but if he knew what it was like to be less loved then how can he love Harry more than Ali? He understood that Harry was Sirius's Godson, but couldn’t he love Ali and Harry equally. If Sirius made the effort maybe Ali and the other children could even be friends. His heart ached from the emotional battle that Ali was going through right now. Even if Sirius didn’t see it, he and Remus did. Ali’s light was dimmer than before and just when she was lighting up again Sirius snuffed it out.

Carefully sliding out from under Ali and placing a pillow under her head Regulus left the room. He shut the door behind him casting a locking spell so she wouldn’t be bothered. He needed to speak with Remus first before doing anything. They needed to decide what to do about Ali. As much as Regulus wanted to spend time with her before she went back to school he didn’t want her to be this upset anymore. He walked into the study to find Remus and Nymphadora sitting near the fireplace.

“How is she?” Nymphadora blurted the question as soon as she saw her cousin. Remus had owled her after Ali had gone to her room. The older sister in her wanted to go up to Sirius and give him a piece of her mind, but she knew that it wouldn’t do any good.

“She’s asleep for now. All the fighting has exhausted her. I honestly don’t know what to do. I want her here this is her home, but if Sirius doesn’t stop acting like the brut that he is it is going to hurt her more. Speaking of Sirius, where is he? It’s quiet.” Regulus flopped down on the chair across from Remus and Nymphadora raking a hand through his hair. His worry for Ali was causing him a headache. On one hand, he wanted to send Ali to stay at the Malfoy Manor for the remainder of summer, but on the other, he wanted to hold her close and have her stay in her home where she belonged.

“Sirius left with Harry after you went upstairs. He hasn’t been home since. The Weasleys stepped out to Diagonal Ally to get the kids stuff for school.” Remus replied. He was secretly thankful that the house was mainly empty. This way at least Ali could come down if she felt like it without the chance of someone bothering her. Remus was having the same thoughts as Regulus about keeping Ali at home virus's sending her to the Manor. HE just wanted his niece happy. The hope that he had of Airius and Ali having the father/daughter relationship was gone. If only Remus could get Sirius to open his eyes to the pain he was causing to the girl, but Sirius was nothing if not stubborn.

“I think I am going to write Cissa and see if she can keep Ali for the rest of summer. If that’s what it takes for her to be happy no healthy then so be it. We can see her off at the -“

“I don’t want to leave,” Ali’s voice interrupted. “I want to stay here with you. Please don’t make me leave. I can handle it, I promise.”

Ali knew that she and regulus were going to have to talks about the fact that she called him dad, but that was a private conversation. Right now she needed to convince the adults in the room that she didn’t need to leave. She could take Sirius. Yes the words that he had said hurt her and the actions he did tonight furthered that hurt in her heart, but she was done. She didn’t owe him anything, and it was clear she knew that he didn’t want to be her father. She had meant what she said to regulus. He was her father in all the ways that counted. He loved her unconditionally, was always there for her, and protected her.

She went and sat on the couch in between Nymphadora and Remus who wrapped an arm around her pulling her close to his chest. “It might be best if you went and stayed for the rest of the summer at the Manor, Al. This isn’t good for you mentally. We all can see how drained you are.”

“No, this is my home. I can handle it. I have you all plus the older Weasleys and Fleur. You all protect me and if I need to get away for a little bit I’ll owl Blaise or Draco to go to Diagonal Ally or something. I want to spend time with you. Times are hard right now and you never know when you are going to lose someone and I would like to have as much time with each of you just in case.”

Regulus leaned forward taking Ali’s hand in his, “nothing, and I mean nothing is going to happen to us. I love you more than you could ever imagine and if you want to stay here you can.” Ali smiles brightly at that before Regukus cut her off, “but you have to tell me, Remus, or Severus, if anything happens. And you have to come out of your room. I am not having you locking yourself away again. Got it?”

Ali pounced on Regulus hugging his neck tight. She was excited to spend some more time with her family. She had meant what she said about never knowing when something was going to happen. Wizards had been disappearing all over London and she was genuinely scared something was going to happen to her loved ones. She was going to make it a point to take plenty of photos and make enough memories to last a lifetime the next couple of weeks.

Regulus held his niece tight, fighting back the tears when she whispered, “Thanks, Dad,” into his ear. He had been called a lot of things in his life, but this was one title he was going to wear proudly.

Remus’s voice interrupted the moment, “wait for a second, why are you going to owl Blaise? We have an agreement young lady no boys till your thirty!”

Ali’s giggle was music to those in the room with her, and for the first time that summer they all saw Ali smile at home the brightest she had since everyone arrived.

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