#and i have nothing to look forward to
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
vent
im sorry i keep promising to be active but i’m literally having mental breakdowns daily on my way back home after studying for like 13 hrs and not sleeping and taking care of myself. i’m so sorry. i just can’t rn
#going through really shitty times#and i'm tired#and i have nothing to look forward to#after my exams it’s papers and then my thesis and ugh
191 notes
·
View notes
Text
iwtv + text post part 53
#no colored text bc i’m tired#so sad bc i have nothing to look forward to this weekend now that s2 is done 💔#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#claudia#armand#daniel molloy#text post meme#loumand#danlou
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I just don't understand this ending... In both of Horikoshi's previous serialized series the villains lived and got to reform and atone at the end.
Why was this series, which focused way fucking more on making the villains sympathetic and pointed out the ways they could have been saved if society or their families were different (and how one literally never had a chance in the first place), the series where they die or are locked away forever.
What happened?
#i just feel nothing#im angry as fuck and numb at the same time#mha 430#bnha 430#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#im choosing to believe that touya heals and spinner and compress are released after a while#they can all stick together live and mourn their lost friends and make sure hero society doesnt fuck up again#or just burn it all the the ground#i dont care at this point#i guess i at least have dragon age to look forward to soon
374 notes
·
View notes
Text
time is so fucking scary. because it does not care if you are happy. you will think I wish to stay like this, right here in this moment. i have found my place. but then time comes like a wave and pushes you forward. you cannot stay. and neither can the people you love. forward forward forward. time has ripped the claws from my hands, and the teeth from my mouth, as I have tried to cling to yesterday. but you must move forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forw—
#i recently went back to the place in which i was happiest in my life#and it has changed and doesn't look the same#and doesn't belong to me anymore#and quite honestly nothing aches quite like knowing#that no matter what i do i can never go back#that even if i stayed it would have all gone away anyway#that i had to move forward#and i had to let go of the things that made me happy#because time wouldn't stop#soph rambles
614 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about Jonathan "I dont want to become a mystery" Sims who's only legacy is a disembodied voice enacting the one thing that brought forth their inhumanity, and a title thrust upon them that doesn't care for the person it has marked and maligned in favour of voyeuristic hubris.
#there was something about repeatedly hearing the term archivist said by the protocol crew detached from the context we know it to be#where it is nothing but both monstrous and alien#only being moved forward by a desire we all have as humans#but its own nature making that sensually terrifying#and unable to trust the praxis of our sanity#jon sims and martin blackwood i hope you are safe somewhere drinking tea and looking at cows#tmagp#tma#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tmagp spoilers#tma jon#tma martin#tma archivist
357 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay, let's finally talk about EPIC's Apollo
I feel very compelled to say, first of all, that I do not dislike Epic. In fact, I am very fond of Epic and have been following its production and status very eagerly! I attend all the launch streams, I watch all of Herrans' update videos; I am, at the end of the day, a fan and I want it to be known that my words are spoken out of love and passion as much as they are spoken from a place of critique.
So really, what my problem with Epic's Apollo?
In the briefest possible terms; the choice to have Apollo be defined by his musical aspect in God Games is thematically strange. And not in the 'oh well in the Odyssey, Apollo was important to Odysseus and his family so it's weird that that wasn't kept in Epic' strange, strange in the sense that Odysseus' character arc since My Goodbye has been getting more and more obviously Apollonian and so it is positively bizarre that when we get to meet Apollo, the god seems entirely disinterested in him and his affairs. So much so that he is not even defined by any station that would indicate that he has been watching over and protecting Odysseus and his family.
What do I mean by 'Odysseus has been following an Apollonian arc'? I'm so glad you asked!
Remember Them is the last song in which Odysseus explicitly uses his sword until Mutiny where he must use it to defend himself against Eurylochus' blade. He uses it to help enact the plan to conquer Polyphemus and, due to Polites dying in that battle, Polites who wished for Odysseus to put the blade down entirely and embrace a post-war life, Odysseus also retires his sword. This is an action that symbolically separates him from Athena - and the image of Odysseus as a traditional warrior set for him in Horse and Infant - as much as My Goodbye physically separates him from the goddess and her war-ways - from this point onwards, Odysseus will no longer be leaning on Athena's wisdom or methods to solve his problems. Likewise, he will no longer be able to rely on her protection.
Odysseus thusly solves most of his upcoming problems through diplomacy and avoidance. He approaches Aeolus - a strange and ambiguous god (both in gender and in motivation) and appeals to them for help. Circe too, he approaches not with wishes to conquer or for revenge, but for the safe returning of his men and an alternate way forward. In all of these scenarios, there is some Apollonian element which is subtly interweaved alongside the influence of other gods; it is with a bow and arrows that Polyphemus' sheep is slain (and thus it is this Apollonian element which is at the root of Odysseus' spat with Poseidon), it is a vision of Penelope that warns Odysseus that his men are about to open Aeolus' wind-bag, Circe's peace offering to Odysseus is to refer him to a prophet of Apollo who has since died.
In this way, Apollo is walking alongside Odysseus for all of his journey after Athena departs - even in the Underworld, he is guiding him. It is Tiresias' proclamation that is the last straw for Odysseus, it is by the power of a mouthpiece of Apollo that Odysseus decides to embrace his ruthlessness. It is with the bow and arrow that Odysseus subdues the siren who sought to trick him, likewise, Odysseus does not attempt to undermine or escape the fate of paying Scylla's passage price - he knows of the doom about to befall the six men and quite unlike the rest of the journey until this point, he does not fight against it. This all comes to a head on Thrinacia where it is a blade which sacrifices the sun god's cow and brings destruction upon the crew once more.
My point with all of this is that when I heard the teasers for God Games years ago, it made perfect sense to me that Apollo would be Round One - he is not Odysseus' adversary and has no reason to oppose Athena's wish to free him. From other teasers about what will happen in the climax of Epic, Apollo will still be walking alongside Odysseus - it is Apollo's bow that Penelope will give the suitors to string. Likewise, it is Apollo's bow that will prove Odysseus' legitimacy and identity. That bow will be the power by which Odysseus hunts his adversaries and cleans out his palace - it is Apollo who is the avatar of Odysseus' ruthlessness, not Athena.
So tell me, truly, what was the point of having Apollo raise a non-argument in God Games? Why have him appear unconcerned, aloof and slightly oblivious? Why have him appear in his capacity as the Lord of Music at all?? And if the intention was never to make Apollo an active player in Odysseus' life like he was in the Odyssey, why keep Odysseus as a primary archer?
The answer of course is that Apollo is inextricable from the fabric of the Odyssey - his influence and favour exudes from Odysseus just as much as Athena's. In Athena's ten year sulk, it would have been Apollo who kept Telemachus and Penelope safe. It would have been Apollo protecting Odysseus from Poseidon's gaze as he travelled the seas (according to the Odyssey anyway)
Forgive me for not being excited about something that I thought was being purposefully set up. I was extremely ecstatic about all of the little Apollonian details that litter the sagas because I know where this story ends up (loosely) but all God Games did was reveal that maybe those Apollonian details were not intentional at all, but merely the ghost of the Apollo who persistently haunts those he favours, even if he cannot explicitly come to their aide in an adaptation.
#ginger rambles#apollo#odysseus#epic the musical#athena#This of course is not mentioning the whole 'in the Odyssey the suitors have been explicitly praying#for Apollo to kill Telemachus so they can have free reign and Apollo is just going 'what's that? I'm sorry I can't hear haters' thing#I'm actually so disappointed by Apollo in God Games because I truly did believe that it was leading up to Apollo and Athena#BOTH being by Odysseus' side in the end#I really like the fandom view that Apollo used the sirens as an excuse because he has nothing against Odysseus#but in order for me to give that any merit there would have needed to be something in the text itself to support that#And Apollo only has the three-four lines which like - in and of itself is crazy#I really wish Apollo and Hephaestus had full verses like Aphrodite/Ares#Or at least a back and forth like Hera#The milquetoast Apollo who is apparently upset about murder but then only took a light rebut for him back down#I'm sorry have you not seen Apollo when he's mad about murder before? He's not that reasonable I promise you#I'm just not going to talk about him being mad about the sirens specifically if I think about that too long I'll get hives#Looking very forward to when Penelope finally gets her song 😭😭😭#Cannot believe you still don't have your song debut my queen the Odysseus economy is also in shambles
173 notes
·
View notes
Text
I haven’t drawn these guys in forever??
#danny phantom#doodles#my art#johnny 13#kitty 13#I have wisdom teeth surgery tomorrow#so I’m just#getting some of my doodles out now bc I’ll definitely be lost in the sauce for a few days#looking forward to eating nothing but soup and mashed potatoes
767 notes
·
View notes
Text
six times ai di teased about chen yi's cr— crush vs the first time ai di realized he was the crush
Chiang Tien as AI DI & Chen Bowen as CHEN YI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userrain#userspicy#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#he's an icon he's a legend and he Is the moment#i have nothing else to add to this im just obsessed with him#WE *ALL* SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR EYES AI DI. chen yi included ofc <3#i also kinda love how he Continues to tease like this even when cdy isnt involved#like the.....idk the word im looking for. the way he fakes this confidence. this arrogant self-assurance. from ep9 forward like#'oh you liked it that much? you want another taste??' (actual self-hatred spiral in the background)#bc listen...thats also what makes the last gif so hot........okay.#cuz you see that self-assurance For Real......but also how it still takes his breath away >:)#OKAY ANYWAY. im putting myself in jail just like ai di did.#nobody is doing it like him idc. or Them idc idc
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ride 784: The first day's mountain
Pag 1
3: We're passing through the riverside road
4: I see it
6: Kaka
7: Ah!!
8: Teh!
9: It's the first day's
Pag 2
1: “mountain”!!
Pag 3
2: As we “promised”!!
Pag 4
3: It's the “first day's mountain stage”!!
4: A year ago
6: Manami-kun said it after the finish line, on the third and last day of the Inter High, when both of us were all worn out and barely still on our bikes
Pag 5
1: But having our race at the end on the final stage is too much pressure
2: Next year, if we both have the chance to run in the Inter High....
3: …. yeah
4: Let's race for the mountain stage on the first day
Yeah
5: Like Toudou-san and Makishima-san last year
Onoda!!
Manami-san!!
Pag 6
1: Manami!!
Manami-san!!
2: Onoda!!
3: He collapsed!!
Manami!! Take off his helmet
It's okay, I caught him
Onodaa!!
Onoda-san
Do we have a towel?
Danchiku, water!!
4: Next year... the mountain stage on the first day.... yeah
5: Got it....!!
Pag 7
3: When you run along a river....
4: the water only flows if there's a difference in elevation, either uphill or downhill!!
5: Here it's definitely uphill!!
Even if it looks like a flat at first glance, it's gradually climbing!!
Pag 8
1: Toward that mountain!!
Reading the map, it says that it's 5km until the base of the mountain!!
2: 5km!!
3: Don't lose sight of it like last year!!
Yes!! Sorry!!
4: Hold on tight!!
5: 'Cause I'll carry you all the way to the foot of the mountain!!
Pag 9
1: Thank you!!
2: “Positioning”....!!
3: When going from a flat to a climb you need to “position” yourself
Each team accelerates from the flats in order to bring their climbers to a good position
4: It's the so called “mountain's launching pad”!!
5: There will be a difference of several hundred meters in the first stage between a climber who was launched near the front of the group and a climber who was made to run up from the back of the group
Pag 10
1: Bring Onoda to the best possible position, Naruko!!
Oh-
Sohoku is moving up!!
Pag 11
1: -ruaaaagh
Ugh!! Sohoku's Naruko is so fast!!
2: I get what you're tryin to say, Hotshot!!
I'll take him!! Definitely!!
3: That's why I left the first result to Kabu!!
4: On that winter day, with an apologetic face
5: Ah....
6: Ah- uhm, I have something to tell you, but
Onoda-kun, who told us like it was difficult to say....
Pag 12
1: Ah the stove? You can just turn it off, we're the last ones
Yeah, please. Woah, look outside, it's snowing
Seriously? It must be cold
2: That's not it!!
3: Th-th- this morning... I got a text
4: What was that, an acceptance letter?
The proficiency exam?
5: It's a reply to the text I sent....
6: Three months ago!!
7: Uhm... really, I was worried that back when we made that promise it was right after the race and we were tired, so I thought maybe he had forgotten
Three months?
It was a long wait
So I sent him a text to ask him if he remembers?
Pag 13
1: And I received it this morning
Must be the proficiency test
Shut up!!
What are you whispering idiot
“Back when”, when was it?
No idea
2:He said only one word, “of course”
4: So, uhm... this time
5: Is it okay if I run for the first day's mountain stage during this summer's Inter High?
7: Is that so? Kakaka
Onoda-kun's eyes, like he couldn't contain his excitement...
Pag 14
1: I haven't forgotten it!!
2: I can't forget it!!
3: Onoda!!
Onoda-kun!!
Pag 15
1: 2km left until the foot of the mountain!!
2: Do your beeest....!!
Aren't they climbing at an amazing speed!? Each team is getting in line!!
Yeah, you're right!!
3: Every team is trying to “position” themselves for their climbers!!
“Position”!?
4: Also, look closely
Right now, the cyclist in the second position in the ranks
Pag 16
1: is the one who will race in the mountain stage!!
Pag 18
1: Oi, are you kidding me? Hakogaku is sending Manami?
From the first day!?
Manami is in second place
2: He's the “final boss”....!!
3: My dream of getting the red bib has been destroyed even before reaching the foot of the mountain....!!
4: Oi, look over there, that's not all!!
For Sohoku....
5: Naruko is pulling the “King of the mountain”!!
Wa- we're done for!! Completely!! My mountain prize!!
Pag 19
3: Manami-kun!!
4: Sakamichi-kun!!
Pag 20
1: It's time for our promise!!
We're almost at the foot of the mountain!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 784#im sorry i meant to post yesterday but i completely forgot ;A;#ahhhhhh ive been looking forward to thiiiis#please gimme a low stakes battle between Onoda and Manami!!! They deserve it!! They promised each other!!#I dont care who would win (even tho i hope manami tbh) i just want them to have fun while racing eo ;A;#is that so much to ask watanabe!!! please let them have this#i hope nothing happens and they really can do this :')#i mean it seems like midosuji also plans on participating but its okay#and if kiji wants to have a go too that fine to#the important thing is that both manami and onoda are there#also lemme have my imanaru moment bc#why are they literally so boyfriends coded wtf agsfdsgdcaskdf#like literally whispering to each other when onoda says he needs to tell them something???#naruko literally reading imaizumi's mind??? please theyre boyfirends okay#this chapter is pushing me to write yet another imanaru#and also a sansaka why not im not gonna lie#i love this so muuuuuuch#i need more im so happy#1st day's mountain stage my beloved
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
Career highlight so far? Recording some scenes as my perfect angel Sibling "Perple" Rane for @thesiltverses last night and making Jon shout, "Death of the author? No! Death of YOU!" 😂
I can't quite remember the context - possibly something to do with fishnet stockings? - but he did also at one point say to me, "This isn't your slutty slutty podcast!" 💅
#the silt verses#sibling rane#oh rane my sweet innocent child#never did nothing wrong in their whole entire lives#i also recorded several 'strangled cries' so yous have that to look forwards to
251 notes
·
View notes
Text
✨ tummy and coffee and legs, happy Saturday loves ✨
Fansly throne
#mine#me#legs for days#I’m very much looking forward to doing absolutely nothing today#I hope y’all have a beautiful day and that your coffee tastes good 😘💗
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bad News: Trigun Deluxe Editions are delayed AGAIN ):
Good News: Dark Horse is working with NIGHTOW (?!?!?!?!) and are still working on perfecting what they're gonna give us? Dare we hope for updated, more accurate translations???
#Trigun#Trimax#Trigun Maximum#This was going to be out for my birthday and now I have nothing to look forward to ):#BUT ON THE OTHER HAND#NIGHTOW?!?!?!?#HELP?!?!?!??!?!??!
179 notes
·
View notes
Text
HELP I FINISHED THE OUTSIDERS BOOK WHAT DO I DO NOW
#i have nothing to look forward to now#i need to have more outsiders in my life but ive already consumed all that there is#multiple times might i add#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#darry curtis#johnny cade#two bit mathews#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders 1983#ponyboy curtis#c thomas howell#rob lowe#patrick swayze#emilio estevez#tom cruise#matt dillon#ralph macchio#sodapop curtis#dally winston#dallas winston#steve randle#s.e. hinton#the outsiders book
129 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)
#gw2#sylvari#artgallery#mourynn#mourynn art#I've just been so tired lately bc of work#also just going a bit stir crazy with the silence (lonely; but alas I unfortunately suck at starting convos bc I have nothing interesting t#talk about and work has been draining my social energy; making it even harder :( (I'd rather burn the social energy with friends yknow?)#it's getting a wee bit better; but I haven't had much time or energy to even game while we're in the midst of our busiest season :(#I miss hanging out and chatting with my buds; but the universe insists on keeping us apart :(#just miss having something to look forward to throughout my day. Been trying to fill it with other things; but the depresso is overriding i#Mostly just been me with my thoughts and that is just bad bc I got so many horrors in there lmao.#I wanna at the very least; draw more or game more to distract from it; but work is sapping all my time and energy from it.#but also it's very quiet on my end and it's kicking my overthinking into overdrive so I#Ive just been fighting with my mind lately lmao#hopefully this will all pass soon so I won't obsessively keep thinking about it loll#lol I'd post this in the servers but it's vent art so it feels a bit weird to do; so it's going straight to home video w/o a theater releas#hopefully once work calms down it'll help#(I have so many long shifts makes me so frustrated bc I hate them and I run out of steam half way through)#other than all that I'm doing fine lol. My brain's always been like this; But I usually only get like this during the winter season#(bc of the holidays making everything quiet and also the SAD) so it feels weird having this exact same feeling happen to me in July lol
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
My study partner and I got to weigh our rainbow trout, and wow have they grown! They came to us weighing an average of 10 grams, and only in a month’s time even the smallest fish have doubled in weight! There were some very hefty guys too, from a randomly selected group of fish the biggest weighed 81 grams, a massive amount of growth considering how small they were before! We’re aiming for an average weight of 100-150 grams, so we’re well on our way there.
To weigh the fish, we put them under anaesthesia so they wouldn’t be too stressed about the situation or thrash around in the weighing bucket. Here’s a picture I took of some rainbow trouts still coming to from said anaesthesia, absolutely zonked:
You can see some drastic size differences between different rainbow trout individuals. Not to worry, every fish recovered and was swimming normally with their buddies after a few minutes!
#so far there has been only a singular fish death after one jumped out from the tank in the night but we solved that issue with a lid#besides that the rest of the ~100 fish have been doing mighty well! they swim actively and look healthy#its hard not to get attached to these little guys! i was greatly looking forward to seeing them again#hmm i should get a tag for my fish research#maybe just fish research?#yeah thats good#fish research#nothing super fancy research since im not writing a paper; but this is sort of pre-research!#perhaps its nicer to not have to handle the funding hell that is actual research to be honest
104 notes
·
View notes