#and i gotta say... a lot of y'all are fucking violent and fucked up

[sinning-23]

Backseat Pillow Princess

Hey y'all! I like to call this game, "Guess what I saw and cant stop fucking thinking about?" Take this because I need them both carnally and I'm sure you do too!

Enjoy :D

Warnings: violence, blood, swearing, the reader is annoying and Logan pretends to hate it in a way that seems like he actually does, they should have fucked but uhhh they didn't, lots of tension, pt.2 coming soon hopefully?

PT.2 UP NOW

"Bae i love youuu, you my everythinggg~"

"Can she shut the fuck up"

"I'm your main bitchhhh, fuck a wedding ringggg~"

"Only if you ask her nicely,"

"Nah, I like when he's mean."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me"

The nonstop back-and-forth bickering had been going on for about 2 and a half hours now and the man the myth the legend, Wolverine was getting dangerously tired of it, unfortunately. Your shitty renditions of Sexyy Red matched with Deadpools incessant yapping was becoming too much to bear.

But little did he know, that was exactly your plan.

"Are we there yetttt" You whine from the backseat, sprawled out with your arm over your face.

It had been what felt like days (despite it only being a couple hours as previously mentioned) you'd been driving and the fact that you were in a small space filled with touch-starved testosterone(Wade and Logan) wasn't helping your case.

"If you shut up it'll go faster," Logan grumbles, Wade's chatting only worsening.

"No, it won't, you're just being mean! What's a sexy, super talented, immortal.. sorta, girl like myself supposed to do?" You whine again, an idea soon popping into your head.

If there was anything you loved more than seeing how far you could push this crotchety son of a bitch, it was stirring the pot.

Knowing the idiot riding passenger, a slip-up was inevitable and all it would take was the right pressure applied from yours truly.

"Hey Wade, wanna ask Wolvie what he's gonna do when he gets back? To his own timeline that is." You hum, resting your elbows on the middle console and your chin in your palms.

Ah yes, the fantasy your sick little brain conjured up was almost to fruition. All they needed were a few nudges and you'd all be at each other's throats with as much violent, sexual tension you could dream of.

"Yeah, what will you do if the TVA can fix your timeline?"

Bingo

You lean back, preparing for the absolute bloodbath that's bound to take place as the tension skyrockets.

Now up until this point, you'd be trying your damndest to get into Wolverine's pants, call it 'something you needed to scratch off your bucket list'. Anyway, from the "Mad Max"(as Wade put it) esque part of the void all the way here, you made your fair share of passes.

Unfortunately, all were shot down with a snark comment, the unsheathing of those gorgeous adamantium claws, or a growl...all of which only further fueled your desire. What could you say you liked a challenge?

"What did you say?"

You lean forward, making eye contact with Wade, his head shaking as if to say "No don't don't don't" but you were never good with social cues.

"He said 'IF' sweetheart." You retort, practically kicking your feet as the look in Logan's eyes grows wild, that growl barely bubbling in his throat as he and Wade converse back and forth.

"You shut the fuck up." He seethes, though directed at you his eyes stay focused on Wade.

You fight the urge to say 'make me" but you soon become quiet when Logan really starts to read your buddy in red. Oh, this fucker was definitely projecting...

"And you," He's got an accusatory, gloved finger pointing at the center of your face.

"You got some unresolved daddy issues or something? I don't know what hole or holes you're trying to fill but I can sure as shit tell you the harder you try to get under my skin the more it makes me wanna rip yours off that pretty-looking face." He growls, your heart practically beating out of your chest.

"Now I suggest each of you shut your goddamn mouths until we are where we need to be."

It's silent for a second again and you can feel the bridge about to break...anyyy second now.

"I'm gonna fight you now."

Three...

Logan chuckles, amused at the fact that Wade would even suggest he could getaway with something like that

Two..

And mid-sentence, Wade's fists make contact with Logan's nose.

One.

You scoot back, the car shaking as Wades head makes contact with hr car door and then the radio, each smack of his skull changing the station.

“Omg nooo don’t kill each other you’re both so hot and sexy and cool, nooo.” You yelp, your false concerned pleas falling on deaf ears.

And once the blood from each blow splatters against your face, you feel a bit opted to join in. Besides, he hurt your feelings, he deserved a little ass-kicking.

Question, when three seemingly frustrated and regenerative assholes get into a car fight with tensions, sexual or otherwise, that have been building for about 2 days now, what happens?

You slip past the pair of claws that just barely nick your side as you shove the driver's seat forward, effectively trapping Logan for a moment.

"You did this on purpose! You honry fuck!" Wade shouts, using his elbow to crack your skull and shoved you right back into your spot behind them before you can respond. Logan pushed the seat back again, now trapping you as his claws stabbed through the cushion, impalling you through the back of the seat.

"FUCK! This isn't how this was supposed to pan out in my head!" You yelp, gasping when the claws leave you feeling the worst kind of empty.

"I didn't even do anything he's the one that lied!" You seethe, using the heel of your boot to kick Wade's side in, the crack of bones bringing you much satisfaction.

"IT WAS AN EDUCATED WISH!" He defends, unloading about 3 bullets into your sternum before kicking Logan out the winsheild, glass falling inside and out.

You take a gulp of air, digging the bullet out before locking your arm around Wade's neck and the passenger seat headrest.

"You red-clad cunt! I was supposed to rizz him up, fuck him, and ride off into the sunset with my rugged fucking mountain of a man and you RUINED IT!" You shout, releasing Wade when six separate knives dig right back into you.

Taking the chance, you throw the back of your head at his face before pulling his claws from out your sides and kicking Wade's chest in. Looks like legs were your strong suit today!

"You said you didn't wanna fill any holes, yet here we are!" You growl in frustration, turning back around to shove your boot heel into this man's rock-hard chest.

He only grabs your ankle, pulling you forward, once again skewered by his claws. Your position is less than ideal, any other angle would for sure look l like you were on the receiving end of some damn good strokes.

And there it is, that stupid bloodied grin he gives while he watches your eyes squeeze shut and your head tilt back. A light, yet pained swear left your bloodied lips and the gasp that leaves your lungs when his claws retracted was just as erotic as you'd imagine.

"Would've been better off fucking at this point huh?" You joke, seeing Wade creep up behind the backseat door.

"Maybe." He responds a bit coy, the tension only dying down for a fraction of a second before you're at each other's throats again.

With your help, Wade is right back in the car, and the three of you are now waiting for the next move. Logan's up against the dash, Wade is heaving against the backseat by your side, the two of you manspreading with a dangerously hungry look directed at the man in yellow.

"This is pointless. We're gonna be here for hours regenerating and fucking each other up, but damn if it isn't fun." you chuckle, letting your head lull back against the completely destroyed headrest.

"So what do you suggest, 'sweetheart'," Logan growls, using your little pet name from earlier.

"Oh I think you know very well what I suggest, but I'm starting to believe you just can get it up can you peepaw?" You insult, Logan's face contorting in a sneer.

There's another silence, your gaze locked with Logan's as you both teeter on the edge of regular frustration and the urge to rip each other's clothes off. This fuckers love language was definitely acts of playful violence...if playful meant an absolute bloodbath in this stupid-ass honda odyssey.

"I feel like there's some underlying tension here that I definitely wanna be a part of.

"You shut the fuck up" You speak simultaneously, Wade doing just that.

"So what'll it be, bub. Fuck me or fight me?" You mock, seeing that smile right back on his face.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You would like to say that the remainder of the day, into the night, all the way into the wee hours of the morning were spent furiously love-making in the bloody and battered Honda, but that would only be half the truth.

The moonlight had shone so brightly down on the three of you, each movement calculated, as you continued to punch, stab, pick and damn near fuck each other in the enclosed space.

At one point your hands were pinned to the dented dashboard, Logan slotted between your legs, Wade right behind your oddly bent body....accept Wade's gun was at the small of your back and Logan had his hand wrapped tightly around your throat as your legs squeezed as tight as possible.

And at another, you'd been hovering above Logan, hands at his chest while Wade had a fistful of your hair, his grip lethal... a-although your hands were only at his chest cause you were double-fisting two knives that you had wedged to the hilt into each to his pectorals...and Wade was also pulling your hair to get a better angle at your chest since he deemed it was "only fair" considering you were going the same to the man beneath you.

It had only gotten worse, your comments ranging from rude to just plain nasty, and the farther along you went in the night....strangely enough, the better everything felt. The slight accidental/intentional grind of your hips against Logans, or the way you just so happened to fall back into Wade's chest, your bodies pressed so close together you could feel each breath you both took.

"Oh you just don't know when to quit, do you honey?" Logan grumbles, throwing you off him, your positions quickly switch.

"Not in my vocabulary sweetheart." You shoot back, gasping when Wade grips your hair again.

"Yeah, thought you were seeing the pattern ready peanut, she's hard to break." He chuckles, a filthy smile making its way over your bloodied face.

You were practically sandwiched, Wade behind you, his chest to your back, and your legs just barely make room for Logan who was kneeling one leg on the backseat, the other slightly off the edge.

"This is a little unfair don't you think? Feels like I'm about to get tag-teamed." You joke, the moonlight illuminating the current position just enough.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? You're sick." Logan scoffs, only feeding into your slight delusions.

"Yeah, I might be sick but you're a hypocrite, You want it too, don't you? I know for sure Wade does, 'cause that's definitely not his gun on my ass." You shoot back, body and brain stirring from the hours of activities.

He doesn't say anything, just tightens he grip he has on your hips.

“Cmonnn, we had our nice,” you glance over at the destroyed radio, your hopes of trying to get the time seemingly crushed.

“We’ll say 9 hours give or take, we’ve already been fighting and none of us are really satisfied.”

You can feel Wade adjust, his hands now secure at your shoulders, massaging the small of your neck with his thumbs.

“We all know what’s gonna solve that and we can put this whole debacle behind us.” You coax, your hips rolling a bit to meet his and he turn his head, jaw working as if he was seriously considering the offer.

And with a finally huff what really sounded more like a growl of last restrained, he’s on you.

——————————————————————-

YES IM MAKING A PART TWO YES THERE WILL BE SMUT BECAUSE WTF YALL. UHHH HOPE YOU ENJOY LMK IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED I. THE NEXT PART!

[lurkingshan]

Random BL Superlatives: 2023 Edition

It's the end of the year and I'm feeling the need to give out some awards! We talk a lot about best show, best actors, best writing, best directing, blah blah but I gotta be honest, these are the categories that really spoke to me this year. In no particular order:

Best supporting garment: Porsche’s sweater, A Boss and A Babe

Did I create this entire list just to have an excuse to post about this sweater one more time? Maybe so.

Best performance despite a terrible wig: Daou, Love in Translation

This man managed to perform one of the hottest scenes of the year with that bowl cut monstrosity on his head. Respect must be paid.

Best new terminology: BGP, Bump Up Business

BUB gave us so many gifts, but I will always be most thankful for the business gay performance concept (BGP), a term that is highly relevant in discussions of the bl industry.

Best advice: "Unfuck it," Tien in La Pluie

It's not only the succinct phrasing, but also the delivery method.

Best ex who deserved better: Alan, Moonlight Chicken

Yes, I will be staying on the Alan apologist beat in 2024, thank you for asking.

Best unexpected needle drop: Wetter, The Eighth Sense

The moment this show captured my full attention.

Best WTF ending: The End of the World With You

You can probably still hear my scream of "WHAT" echoing in the hills. (Actual ending not pictured in case y'all decide to watch).

Best gut punch line: "Have you been well? Without me?", Our Dating Sim

Sure Shin Gi Tae, Lee Wan deserved it, but did I??

Best adorable child: Tane, Our Dining Table

Need I say more??

Best weapon: sparkle murder dust, Khun Chai

Truly the MVP of this show. I can't find an actual gif of the dust in action (too violent to be depicted) so enjoy these pretty men instead.

Best great character trapped in a bad show: Boston, Only Friends

My beloved, I will seek vengeance in your name.

Best use of music to fuck me up: Plumeria, I Feel You Linger in the Air

Cocktail and Tee Bundit, you know what you did!

Best meal: Chicken curry and cheese naan, What Did You Eat Yesterday?

Yes, this category is kind of a cheat so I can mention WDYEY on this list. And what about it!

Best unhinged energy: Nawin, Laws of Attraction

He may not have succeeded at stealing back his man but he certainly stole the show.

Best bl horror: Grand Guignol

I just need to make sure all you jbl fans know that this movie exists and that Issei fucked Mr Unlucky!!! IYKYK.

Best character comeback: Phupha, Our Skyy 2

From boring stoic love interest to actually compelling and kinda funny leading man! See what a little flirting with Pat Jindapat can do for you?!

[rockybloo]

I'm a normal and well behaved person until people bring up fairy tales around me and try the good ole internet shtick of "um actually" but they wind up sharing information that is not entirely true but is shared like it is so please beware that this post turns into caps lock halfway through

I've been working on Beanstalked for a good 10 years so I think I am allowed to have this be where I shove my feet into the sand because I whenever people drop fairy tale fun facts in my inbox or comments, they are the most basic fun facts you can get off surface level clickbait articles, first page Google results you don't even click on and just view from a preview point (or just using Gemini AI at this point) or "TOP TEN DISNEY MOVIES WHERE THE ORIGINAL STORIES ARE SUPER DARK"

I NEED PEOPLE TO DIG DEEPER

IF YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME A FUNFACT ABOUT A FAIRY TALE YOU GOTTA BE ABLE TO TELL ME WHAT VERSION YOU ARE PICKIN FROM BECAUSE CHARLES PERRAULT AND THE GRIMM BROTHERS HAVE VERY DIFFERENT OUTCOMES FOR THEIR LITTLE REDS! CINDERELLA IS ANCIENT AS FUCK! SOME OF THESE TALES WERE ORALLY TOLD INITIALLY AND GOT WRITTEN DOWN FOR A COLLECTION OF SORTS WHICH MEANS IN MANY CASES WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A TRUE ORIGINAL AND JUST HAVE TO GO OFF WHAT HE EARLIEST DOCUMENTED RETELLING IS

IF YOU ARE SAYING A NURSERY RHYME IS BASED OFF SOMETHING, YOU GOTTA BE ABLE TO BACK IT UP AND NOT JUST TELL ME SOMETHING THAT I LOOK UP LATER ONLY TO SEE IT SPECIFICALLY STATED IN ONE SINGLE ARTICLE WITH A FOOT NOTE THAT SAYS "this is just a theory and has no supported basis"

AM I A FAIRY TALE EXPERT?

No

BUT BASIC FACTS THAT ARE OFTEN JUST THEORIES OR HALF TRUTHS AIN'T ENOUGH FOR ME

GIVE ME NAMES, SOURCES, ACTUALLY READ THE FABLES AND NOT JUST WIKI SUMMARIES

AND IF YOU TELL ME SOMETHING THAT ONLY APPLIES TO DISNEY I WILL MANIFEST SPIDERS IN YOUR HOME

"Did you know that Cinderella's sisters get their eyes pecked out by birds in the original story"

IS PARTIALLY TRUE!

There are MANY versions of Cinderella because it is an OLD story and has been called many different names. THIS STORY IS SO OLD IT CAN ACTUALLY BE CALLED ANCIENT WITH CONFIDENCE! The Grimm Brothers have said bird attack event happen in their retelling which is a LOT more violent than Charles Perrault's which is the one that MANY think of when they hear the name "Cinderella" (if you don't just think immediately of Disney)

Now, this ain't an open invitation to just start dropping fairy tale fun facts in my inbox. I've been working on Beanstalked for 10 years and there is a rock solid chance I probably have already heard your fun fact. This ain't even meant to be a "I KNOW MORE THAN YOU" because it's just because I have heard the same basic facts over and over again at this point 😭 a bitch is TIRED MAN! I won't doubt there is stuff I don't know since I ain't a folklorist but I beg that people make it worth my while and credit a source they got their info from, say where the retelling (if it is one) originates from (like if it's from a collection), and at least say something Beanstalked related.

ACTUALLY that last part is mandatory. I've seen how y'all do people that do Greek Myth based adaptions - YOU AIN'T DOING THAT SHIT TO ME! YOU GOTTA PAY THE ROCKY TOLL AND SAY SOMETHING RELATED TO MY OCS OR I CHUCK YOU OFF THE BRIDGE!

This is why I have a rule that people that enter my inbox with simple fairy tale trivia and nothing else get BLASTED by Beanstalked info

YOU CANNOT AVOID THE LORE - YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT THE OCS!

[sugary-spider]

Whats ur take on wambus.... I need more

..I don't have a lot of takes, but wambus I love him so much. A lot of never ask me for my takes on here../silly

WARNING : AXEL FUCKING RANTS A TON

I hate how hes mainly seen as this evil angry guy or just grumpy (mad yk) and its like..Yuck..A lot of people just would rather only view triffany as this saint and wambus is this evil bad guy. Sure hes mad lookin but like..Thats like saying filbo is dumb when he isn't, sure hes an sweet hyperactive guy thats prone to accidents but he isn't dumb. Thats an grown fucking man y'all.

I loved how he missed triffany so fucking much, he made an cactus literally look like her and as well as would basically (even from the one or two moments we seen it in gameplay) tell cactriffy about his day. And Y'ALL. Cactriffy is literally just cactus + triffy,, which is the nickname he gave to triffany!! And at best, you can just see how much he loves triffany from that and so much more.

Triffany work requires her to be away a lot, which is understandable but her and wambus literally had an farm together and wambuses whole issue was property and money. Farms are extremely hard to take care of, especially even with just two people. Wambus is an stubborn guy, and he loves his wife. He probably took care of that farm all by himself while triffany was away. I understand if y'all don't understand how farm and ranches are, but they're just..So hard to take care of. Especially with how utilities and so much more costs.

(this is coming from someone who just knows someone an good few ppl who like..literally grew up on an farm 60/40% of their lives this just me blabberin about that yk so my bad if I don't get the whole picture right. But like..Farms/ranches are so HARD to take care of unless you know what to do and such!! Like farms cost around 600 - 10000+)

So just imagine with how that feels, especially with how we know wambus is so okay with triffany going off on her own dreams while he was kinda struggling with his. He started an farm on the island because it was "more cheaper on mainland" and hes right, even if everyone was kinda shitting on him about it. But thats like his dream, and so much more. I like to even think wambus came from an huge or generational line of farmers, ranchers, just country-side work basically. Which would also make so much more sense in an way to understand how Wambus would understand heavily and support his wife on her journey and job of being an archeologist while also trying to find out what happend to her mom. Im not gonna shit on triffany either, but like. You gotta understand how wambus feels, he probably (and I think he did!! Pretty sure he did) lost the farm. And like I said, I like to think the farm was an family farm that was past down onto him. And he lost it.

I know triffany would try to console her husband, but she also now had to be this bread winner because of wambus losing this huge money maker but then just also caving underneath it due to all these taxes and so much more, that the list is just too much. Plus they're both workaholics so she probably never stayed long to console him or help him, only when she had to stay in an way she would or try to.

"Hes such an violent and angry guy! Triffany should leave him, hes so mean and-" Are we talking about the same guy? Cause NO WE ARE NOT?? He most likely has emotional dysregulation which is caused by stress!! And he just WENT through an stressful time period of his life!! (Stole this hc from an lovely bro ham of mine -> @loched-off 💪😼)

Also fear of failure. That can and is implied to be most reasons WHYYY he lashes out and hes always regretful of his actions by the way. Like when filbo got launched by an bunger due to his causing by throwing sauce at him,, and he was literally so regretful of it. Even asked the journalist to PLEASE check up on poor filbo.

Not to mention, probably due to his failure fears present and past, is kinda why people can see how triffany and wambus dynamic is 50/50 of great and needs some work.

But even then, triffany doesn't mean it. Shes looking out for wambus best interests, especially with how she knows wambus hates failure and hates failing so badly. Especially with how.hes gonna lash out, and view it as anything more than bugsnax not growing. He just lost his farm, something he worked so hard on. And now hes losing his little thesis of bugsnax growing..

And he did. He was so heart broken, and his voice you can just TELL this mans heart shattered into billions of peaces. Even if he has an not so hyperactive and has monotone tone in his voice, you can just..Still tell hes heart broken. He started giving up on HIMSELF, and hes STUBBORN Y'ALL.

DO YOU KNOW. HOW HARD,, AN STUBBORN PERSON HAS TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM TO BE LIKE..

"My hopes and all my work, was all for nothing. Im just an big ole failure."

Y'ALL. THIS MAN HAD ME CRYING AND NEEDING TO TAKE FIVE (You can tell im like..maybe more a wamby fan than a triffy one..I lobe blue hair and prns farmers....)

I like to think he also was made fun of for his feelings back then. Especially cause of like..Of grumpus world is like our world, him as an man would've been definitely made fun of for crying. Especially if this is..Something so heavy and meaningful to him,, he was definitely sobbing and pouring his heart out but only to be made fun of. Or had his problems seen as something so little..

And triffany *may* had accidentally had some help in it in an way, since she worked so much due to being an workalcoholic and its her passion. She loves archeology and wambus could never ever in an million years deny his wife of her happiness like she could never deny wambus his. Even though, that ended up with them fighting. Especially wambus putting his foot down on not wanting to be somewhere he can't grow plants other than cacti. Especially if he was so hyperfocused on sauce plants, and only ones that grow there are hot sauce or cheese,, but we seen wambus grow an wide variety. He wouldn't really wanna just only ever be able to grow two types of sauce plants.

Also just supperr self indulgent,, I like to think he has one or two actual degrees in some sort of botany or farm work..Plus hess ermm Audhd cause I said so. Sorry NOT sorry. <3

Also, I have an BUNCH. Of wambus hcs :3

-> Wambus is hispanic,, (You can pick whatever one, just I like mexican wambus a lot..)

-> Knows spanish, especially cause he lived in an heavy spanish speaking area.

-> Always worked on an farm/countryside, he loves talking about his childhood. You can tell by how much he smiles when talking about it

-> An shy kid in public due to his family always wanting him to speak english heavily in school, but was an rowdy kid that would say curses in spanish

-> He LOVES dogs and cats. He had an hunting dog when he was little, also talks about that dog a lot. Her name was brownie .. Had an barn cat or two, both were name Charolette and Scarlett.. :3

-> Was held back an grade or two, only because of how he worked more than was in school. But he isn't dumb, hes slicker than a fox.

-> he is TEXAN. Take it or leave it /silly

-> Hes an introvert extrovert heavily. Just due to people getting off putted by his natural 'bitch face' a lot of people don't talk to him.

-> Knows a lot about death, especially since he lived on an farm. One of his jobs he would've been fine with is an flower guy for funerals.

-> He *has* an childhood gothic friend. They talk alottt.. (is this based an oc x canon dynamic from me and my partners au?..Maybe..You'll never know sorry not sorry)

-> Due to the two other hcs,, its also how triffany was drawn to him heavily. Just..so heavily, cause he never overreacted to her funfacts and really really gruesome and horrifically details facts other than asking more about it. Cause he genuinely wanted to know.

-> I will NEVER. Give up my most famous hc of wambus being an girl dad.

-> Hes also really good with kids surprisingly. Even though his back would be hurting so much, he will teach kids how to climb trees safely or not, and go on and on about his own childhood stories. Once taught/told an kid about the time he ran away from bees. Spent the day helping the lil' kiddo try to find an bee hive before an accident happend and they both ended up stung badly.

-> He loves summer and spring..Especially spring, he gets so giddy about it.

-> Youngest. He is the baby of his family, was always picked on but is now the strongest between them. Gets called little blue or baby ox tho. They make fun of him but hes gotten used to it..💔

Thats it..Just I LOVEEE wambus. Ty for asking my opinion on him..Hes my favorite and I genuinely wish people loved him just as much as people loved triffany..

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

Are you willing to spoil some of Mate's "batshit" storyline for some of us? I saw that there's going to be a time jump? 👉👈🥺

I can, but it's A LOT. Like the novel is broken up into two parts with 950+ pages total. I'll try to condense it, but if you think the show is a roller coaster, I promise the book is an entire theme park.

And now that I think about it 🤔 maybe y'all should read Mate 🤣

What to look forward to past Ep 4:

Aoey dates Great (Gen's brother) to get back at Gen and make Gen jealous, but then spends the whole relationship flirting/seducing Gen

At one point, Aoey's phone breaks so Gen secretly takes the phone to get it fixed bc Aoey can't afford to fix it herself, Gen discovers sexually explicit pictures and videos on the phone

Gen confronts Aoey with what she finds on the phone, but Aoey reveals that her stepfather's the reason she hates being touched and has panic attacks

Aoey's stepfather sexually assaulted her throughout her childhood and teenage years, now he's using the pics/vids of himself assaulting Aoey to blackmail her into letting him continue assaulting her now that she's an adult

Aoey fled to Bangkok not only to get away from her stepfather but Aoey's mom discovered what was going on, accused Aoey of trying to steal her man, then kicked Aoey out leaving her homeless and penniless

Directly after Aoey bares this severe trauma to Gen, Gen is like, "I know exactly what to do" and they end up fucking for the first time (toxic yuri wouldn't be toxic yuri without toxic yuri)

Gen murders the stepfather for what he did to Aoey via an elaborate plan involving her father and uncle (I'm not exaggerating, he dies a horrible violent death thanks to Gen 🙌🏻)

Gen and Aoey have sex A LOT from this point onward in the novel

Gen's father's investigated for both the murder and apparently money laundering??? so her family's gotta flee the country

Gen doesn't wanna flee the country bc she finally admitted her feelings for Aoey, so her and Aoey run off to some middle of nowhere town in Thailand to live together in a shack

But Gen's never worked a day in her life so Aoey works as a day laborer to support them both since Gen's bank account is frozen (due to the money laundering)

Gen feels like she's holding Aoey back so she decides to lie about her feelings for Aoey just to get Aoey back to living her dream of becoming a famous novelist

Gen pulls a Pleng from Affair and writes Aoey a letter in the middle of the night saying she's not gay, she's never been gay, and that she would rather be single and rich than poor and with Aoey, before fleeing the country in the middle of the night

Before leaving, Gen fucks Aoey all night and leaves her handcuffed to the bed while Aoey sleeps, then arranges for Aoey's mom to come to their shack and take Aoey back to Bangkok once Aoey wakes up and reads Gen's letter, despite Aoey telling Gen multiple times that she wants nothing to do with her mom

This is where the time jump happens, but it's only 3 years into the future which doesn't sound like enough time for what's about to go down

Anyway, Aoey becomes a famous novelist, she writes a story based on her and Gen's relationship that gets super popular

She's also engaged to her psychiatrist's brother and scheduled to marry him in like two weeks (conflict of interest whom?)

Gen's living in another country under a fake name where she's a middle-class comic book creator and book cover artist

Gen makes a comic based on her relationship with Aoey from her POV using her fake name, it gets so popular that Aoey gets wind of it and thinks someone's tryna plagiarize her novel

Aoey sends Tod to sus out the author and make them take down their story

But Tod's gay ass thrives on the lesbian drama, he already knows that Gen's the one who wrote the book, so he goes to Gen and convinces her to go back to Bangkok and speak to Aoey and attend Aoey's wedding

Gen goes to Bangkok and has a tension-filled meeting with Aoey and Aoey's fiance, Gen reveals she's the author of the comic AND that she was the one to draw Aoey's book cover, aka the book based on their relationship 👀

Aoey is PISSED with a capital P, but that doesn't stop her from having graphic hate sex with Gen in her hotel room

It's funny bc Gen fucks Aoey silly willy style directly after Aoey's fiance flirts with Gen, says that he doesn't even like Aoey and is only with her out of pity, and tells Gen to "take care of his girl"

Gen heard all that and was like "okay bet" lmao

Aoey's mom is back in the picture and attending the wedding, she knows everything Gen did to help Aoey in the past so she makes a point to thank Gen for her help

Aoey overhears her mom thanking Gen which completely changes Aoey's feelings

Aoey reveals she still loves Gen, Gen reveals she still loves Aoey, Aoey breaks up with her fiance, calls off her wedding, and gets back with Gen

Gen and Aoey end up getting married to each other and living happily ever after

I'm finally released from reading the novel

[david-watts]

heyy we've been mutuals forever and I just wanted to say that I genuinely hope you can see some life improvements. Also, I can understand where you're coming from with having a shit living situation + shit behaviors from the people you gotta cohabitate with. Not sure what kinda disabilities y'all have but I struggle with some of my own physical stuff on top of the mental so I get it. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you're definitely not alone in the sort of struggles you're facing and that I'm sending you some good energy that things look up even just a little. even the smallest accomplishments count when you've got loads on your shoulders.

I do appreciate it very much! 💙

honestly I think I'm only this bad today because I was forced to have a bad day in terms of the disease. which possibly the fact that I'm being overly cautious and not naming publicly and being vague about sounds a lot worse than it actually is. I basically just have to not do what I did today! or was forced to do. but I talk about that too much.

I hope that I can see life improvements too but... unless another miracle happens I very much doubt it. I am very much aware that I have to move out and because my m*ther is a little bit nuts and I am still spooked by the whole '[deadname] is talking to people online more than he is to me I might have to "do something about it"' (whatever the fuck that meant!) and also 'decisions might be made for you' incidents I am probably going to have to move to the mainland at the very least. which would be the best case scenario. I have no idea how to even begin to plan for this yet alone begin to execute said plan, and in a way I don't even know if it's worth doing anymore because I could get out and within a week I will be dead. I don't know if it's just that I'm less functional due to the disease at the moment (by all accounts I should recover from this recent 'miracle') or if I need to come to terms with a more permanent regression but I don't think I can be left alone anymore, at the very least not all the time. between that and how finicky I am about food/how narrow my diet is and the fact that I do have scary and even violent meltdowns and breakdowns more and more, it becomes very hard not to feel like a burden. especially since I haven't been able to do anything recently. I've been able to draw a tiny little bit today now that I've had the ability to recover from earlier and it's great! I don't know if it's enough to stop that nagging feeling that I'm just a waste of space and resources.

maybe if I can draw a bit more I'll feel better though. I don't know. it just feels like in order to actually improve my life I have to be able to scale some fairly impossible cliffs. and in a way it really is my own fault for ending up in this situation. I put off planning to run away during 2020 for too long because I thought I had time... I didn't have time and I got stuck here. I can dream about what might have been, I can dream about what might be, but will it happen?

I didn't intended to talk for so long. oh well

[carmenized-onions]

okay so i’m on chapter five of “Chicago’s kindest” and i couldn’t even wait until i finished the chapter to send this because MY GUY????? Syd and Tony hs besties??? Chip asking Carm if he wants to take her on a date?? CARM WANTING HER TO WORK FOR HIM AND MAKE HIM LAVENDER LATTES??????????? I’m so- ListeN feminist!carm does inexplainable things to me - like screaming into a pillow because i love him so much - things. i have a lot of thoughts so this is part one of ?? however-many asks (1/ )

HEHEHEHE Syd and Tony are vv much me writing me and my dearest girl friend's dynamic if we were them. It's vv fun to write it that way.

Chip really fuckin' created a canon event in that moment, if she didn't ask him that I doubt he would've ended up doing it. But it was like. A double dog dare. Practically.

HIM BEING REFERRED TO AS FEMINIST FOR THIS MOVE MADE ME LAUGH. Because yes-- Like 100% what you said here:

Like definitely it's for her BENEFIT to not work at Eden's but it's also, to me writing it, it was also like 'i want you to work not there so simply no one will look at you the way everyone looks at you'. An antsy jealousy he does not have the right to express, truly. But ALSO feminism. Two things can be true. Well, three-- He also wants all her time. For menuuusssss.....

Being 'annoying' (you're not, btw) over my series, truly makes my soul do flips. We've gotta go to the next ask before I scream about it. OH if there was a part 3, by the way, and you did NOT miscount, tumblr did fucking eat it. i'm so sorry. if this is the case I'M gonna eat tumblr.

I'm so genuinely happy to see the very soft lines people cling to. I try to write in like, a very natural human flowing way and not FORCE lines-- And while I do love that, I do sometimes worry that simple lines like these fall through the cracks, in a way, because they're very like, human things that people say. Or at least that me and my people say. AND SO TO SEE Y'ALL READING AND NOTING THESE LINES REALLY ENCOURAGES ME SO THANK YOU!!!

He really wanted to say 'I like when you talk to much', I could never tell how to make that explicitly clear, so i just didn't. He wanted to say it SO bad. There were like, several moments in this chapter of him going 'now is the part where i ask her out' and just him continuously bowing out until the end. Honestly play a fuckin' where's waldo with yourself if you ever re-read and find em. HA.

I DID ASK FOR THESIS AND I'M SO GLAD TO BE GETTING IT YOU HAVE NO IDEEAAAAAAA!!!!!

And YEEEAGGHGHGHG That's the fuckin STUFF right there. The CARE!!!! bro!!!!!!

Chicago's Kindest new header.

I love writin' romance with these two because it is always so explicitly not like violent or hungered but like-- Such a profound care before it's anything else. And that's just really fun and soft to write. Except for when he did get his kiss. then it was hungry. then it was starving, actually. TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE!!!!!

NICE YOU!!!! NICE YOU!!! I'M CALLING A DOCTOR!!!!!!

Tony's got an iron-clad will, I would've folded, honestly. I would've fuckin' folded.

AND ALSO SON OF A BITCH, I should've been more explicit, maybe I'll ninja edit it in the future, but the second thing Carm 'gave' her WAS in fact the fucking hickey. He was just bein' a cheeky motherfucker. I was just trying to avoid writing he fuckin SUCKS your NECK DUDE and it's CRAZY!!!! Because I'm not prepared with that writing skill set yet. I don't know how to write intimacy yet. without being haha funny about it. So. We'll get there,,,, maybe.

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THIS FUCKIN' ESSAY IT MEANS MORE THAN WORDS LOVE YOU TOOOO!!!!!

[kilgraves]

STARTER MEME (based on discord messages)

"I love them, they're a fucking monster."

"He's a little garbage man."

"Well, you sure did just say a terrible thing, huh."

"I have a type, and it's feral man baby."

"If more people saw Christianity as the Jesus fandom, I feel like there would be a lot less war."

"What the FUCK did you just say to me?"

"Why is everyone on your ass?"

"This is literally so stupid."

"Everything you say is a joke to me."

"Finally. I'm iconic."

"I'm so fucking weak for [noun]."

"He has stubble? What the fuck."

"It immediately caught my eye."

"They look kinda sad. Kinda like they had a midlife crisis."

"You and your cults! Classic [name]!"

"What Are Morals."

"BEEP BEEP, LOVER, I'M HERE."

"Anyways, that was terrible! Hope you like it! I don't!!"

"I'm a fucking thot, but continue."

"Like fuck y'all, I'm going to Wendy's."

"People got flaws, man, ya gotta complain it out. Shake out the rug of the crumbs you've collected from people sloppily eating chips on you."

"I don't know what kinda metaphor that was, but."

"I like making people............ Tell me their troubles."

"That is not at all excellent, if you ask me."

"I forgot how gay this was."

"I know a well-brought up [boy/girl/kid] when I see one."

"Is this an elaborate plot to humiliate them?"

"'A bizarre touch.' As if this ALL wasn't."

"Did he just? Spank him?"

"How do they plan to climb a ladder with those shoes?"

"Oh, yeah, that good violent outburst shit."

"They're just listing their kinks."

"Cognitive dissonance out the wazoo."

"We can disseminate our influence into the public psyche."

"I don't know what's happening here, but I enjoy it nonetheless."

"People die every year. f"

"It's the Only Way."

"Way to make an impression!"

"Just a casual reminder."

"We have a problem."

"Well, by jove."

"I want a shady government dude mentor."

"That's fucking manipulative, but ok."

"I LOVE THEM, and I'm also so intimidated by them."

"Thanos snap the haters."

"Well, that's spooky."

"That's enough for today."

"I'm ranking the American Girl dolls in order of gayness."

"Anyway, now that that's taken care of."

"You know I am tech incompetent."

"How DARE YOU not do what I want immediately, as decreed by my whims. Don’t you KNOW who I THINK I AM????"

"I'm calling out this journalist as biased."

"We stan a milquetoast God."

"You always dabbin' on them haters, huh."

"Satan can't catch me in space."

"I'm not drunk enough for this."

"Please don't feel bad about this ever again."

"There's nothing like a little mayhem to cheer one up!"

"This poor gay family."

"He makes love like an extinct shellfish."

"Vore me, daddy."

"Wit in the face of adversity! Good!"

"I hate your smarmy good looks and easy manner."

"He needs help in his life. Like a trash can. He should be in a trash can. In a toxic waste dump."

"I got second hand embarrassment for life."

"I hate this line of conversation. What are we doing with ourselves."

"God, he sounds like a fucking Riverdale character."

"Bitch, do it, I dare you."

"I love young weird art kids."

"You live more intensely in my company."

"I'm pissed they didn't make out on the couch."

"You are trying too hard to be a big boy too soon."

"This is literally an elaborate sexual roleplay [pronoun/name] made up."

"Y'all could have just kissed instead."

"You live a wild life, [name]."

"When someone asks me if they should do something for me, like pour a drink, surely I will have to say 'no, I want you to fuck it' from now on."

"No, [sir/madame], I want you to fuck it."

"[Name] is the epitome of gross."

"What is any of this."

"There's your ear guy!"

"You solved the mystery."

"What is that guy's getup? Is that a fake mustache?"

"[Name] balls hard yet again."

"[Lady/My guy], you're not very stable."

"That sure was a thing."

"Gay culture is beating the shit out of people."

"How very straight of you."

"As I am simply a thought-form in your minds, you can create another me."

"Is this what it feels like to be a bug."

"Is that your social security number because I'll take notes."

"Like a trashy priest, but vogue."

"But this is like, apparently an ongoing thing for a year."

"What? Didn't hear you all the way down there, you short fuck."

"That was a terrible impersonation."

"Sit on him. Right now."

"I'll eat my own hands if this wasn't just for attention on their part."

"That's fucking groovy."

"Why would you do it with another white guy?"

"No, absolutely not, maximally unsexy."

"Are you mocking me, or are you also asking?"

"They wouldn't be satisfied even if you licked their fucking asshole."

"Daddy's home!"

"I am God."

"Hey, fuck you!"

"When do we get to do Christian roleplay? I want to be Jesus."

"News headline: local twink sad."

"How am I supposed to pretend I can date this person if [pronoun]'s not closer to my age. Tragic."

"I mean, I guess that makes it okay."

"Why are you this way."

"Bad choices galore!"

"I want a cute twink to drive me around in his car and come up with unrealistic adventures for us that I talk him out of because I'm not stupid."

"They're so cute, I hate them."

"David Lynch invented DDLG culture."

"Well, isn't that fucking wild."

"I'm going to sue for emotional damages."

[duckyfruitbat]

GamerGate II Broke Me

Do y'all remember how I decided to cover a bit of GamerGate 2.0 a couple months ago? Well since then I decided to keep some tabs on it for a future post like this one and I gotta say, this is one of the most bullshit stories I've decided to cover. I am officially done with this, I cannot continue with this. With that said, please observe my descent into madness.

I already pointed out how the Sweet Baby Inc portion was built on a cardboard foundation on the beach, but the rest of it is just throwing the cardboard into the ocean and skipping the construction part. I can't help but remember how the first GamerGate had this elaborate plan to distract from the real reason behind it by causing so much confusion around ethics in games journalism. The current GamerGate originally was some wild conspiracy involving DEI and the absolute power a consulting firm somehow had in game development. That's what I originally found with the previous post, then I made the mistake of continuing.

Now here we are a few months later and I was wading through the muck waist deep when I was constantly came upon a term that eventually sparked this post, safe horny. This is a mainstream term in this movement and is used a lot by big names complaining about Sweet Baby Inc. I of course tried to look it up, decided to check the Urban dictionary because that seemed appropriate. I got the most politically charged definition I could ever find that was alt-right word salad, so maybe Urban Dictionary isn't the best place to go. I did get a small snippet of it meaning having a characters sexual appeal toned down, so I got something from it. The website then proceeded to link to some anti-semetic terms. Hey Urban Dictionary, what the fuck?!

After that roller coaster ride, I then started looking through the posts that sincerely use it to try and get a more concrete meaning through examples. Those examples included Aphrodite from Hades II, Lady Dimitrescu, and Purah's design from Tears of The Kingdom. That last one was in a post that called it a downgrade from her previous design. I pray that they meant from her design in Age of Calamity. Wait hang on, the 9 foot tall dommy mommy vampire lady with massive knockers is safe horny?! She is violent horny if anything.

Moving on examples that were against safe horny were Laura Croft's original design with her pyramid breasts, the Stellar Blade character before she was given a tight one piece swim suit as an optional cosmetic, and Aphrodite's design in Hades I. Comparing the examples told me nothing, I was thinking that safe horny meant conventional beauty, but the examples they liked were also pretty conventional. It wasn't even toned down designs at this point, that idea flew out the window a long time ago. The Aphrodite example was still pretty conventional and had her tits our, both in fact. Oh yeah, they also swapped the Aphrodite designs, so by their logic she had an upgrade in design.

I was at a loss as to what these men were complaining about, but then I found examples outside of gaming that they liked. Anime girls, just stereotypical anime girls, a lot of which were underage. Anime girls who are boobily boobing with an appointment for a chiropractor while wearing scotch tape in place of a bra. These are just men who are upset that they can't get off just by playing games anymore. While I began having this revelation I came across a new name for GamerGate II that perfectly described what was actually happening.

I don't remember who posted it, but it was absolutely perfect in conveying the fact that it really is just men complaining about women not being hot enough. I propose that we all call this GoonerGate. This name gives this movement all the respect it deserves while also telling you what it's actually about. I was wading waist deep in this sticky bog with suspiciously white water wondering what this is all about only to find out that it was just about porn. Porn that fell under very specific tags. I dedicated months of my life keeping tabs on this only to realize it was a bunch horny on main lonely men with the same fetish trying to justify themselves asking for more porn through a conspiracy theory about inclusion. Sweet Baby is just here out of convenience, they were caught in the crossfire of this bukkake session dressed up as a political movement.

For a moment I need to be real with y'all. As you may know I went to journalism school, I was trained for a newsroom environment with the idea of breaking news stories and any bigger stories taken throughout the week. The GoonerGate crowd would complain about how this is not being covered in a serious light, but here's the thing. If this came across my desk in a newsroom to fill out time slots or space on a paper, it would be thrown out. If I brought this to the editor, I'd be told I was wasting precious time. If I brought this to John Oliver for a five minute segment, he'd spend twenty minutes roasting me in front of everyone. I'm only sharing this here because of how frustrating it is to go through all this only to find out that the real treasure was the porn we found along the way. Game journalists aren't taking it seriously because it's just not, and I should've followed their lead.

When I mentally labeled this as GoonerGate, I was about to throw out this whole post, the original was just me trying to figure out the new terms and building up the conspiracy board, I still don't know what the hell safe horny is except for the vague idea that it might mean legally safe at this point. I joked about how flimsy the foundation is, but really this is nothing. This is a movement built on nothing to serve a purpose that was already being fulfilled elsewhere on the internet. Any amount of time I spent researching this was wasted. Nothing left to do but attach the label and unplug. This will be my last post on this subject, it's just not worth it anymore.

Don't worry, next post will be much more lighthearted for my own sake.

[bluejay73ffs]

You said on your last stream that you're a pacifist, so why bother pretending you actually care about social reform?

Wow, I really can't believe this goddamn website sometimes.

For starters, that stream was a week ago, have I really been living rent-free in your mind this entire time? Or are you just that desperate to start drama? With who? A small-time content creator doing this shit for fun with not even 30 followers on twitch? What are you even trying to accomplish here?

Two, I'm a religious pacifist, belonging to one of the most heavily persecuted religions in the world, so maybe start re-examining your personal biases about minority groups.

Thirdly, while I acknowledge violent acts like rioting and revolution are very important to large-scale social reform, that doesn't mean that non-violent solutions are any less effective. Things like lobbying, civil disobedience, uncivil obedience, community building and support, public advocacy, art, or even things as simple as having a conversation and connecting with people of different mindsets can make a huge difference. I know first hand how effective non-violent solutions can be.

I've noticed this really uncomfy idea on this website that pacifism is just as bad as doing nothing to help, which could not be any further from the truth. Y'all really need to fucking touch some grass and start doing your own research I swear to fuck y'all really gotta listen to yourselves talk sometimes. Saying things like "Violence is the only answer" and "We just need to kill the people who oppose us." are two VERY fascist ideals that I've heard being spouted on this fucking website as of late. No, not even as of late, for years now actually, it's just ramped up a lot since the start of the pandemic.

I was already feeling very sick and depressed today, I really did not need this, but if you wanted to start drama, then I'm gonna finish it.

Good day, and I pray that whatever god you pray to helps you learn to chill the fuck out.

[wahbegan]

The Outwaters

So this movie is no Skinamarink, but it has been getting a fairly decent amount of buzz, especially on shit like tiktok, for basically the same reasons.

Experimental film, challenging and/or frustrating cinematography depending on your point of view, ambiguous cosmic horror with no clear answers, everyone thinks it's either God's gift to the genre or a pretentious pile of shit

The way i see it is uhhh....a little bit of both? Conceptually, it's not as disturbing a film as Skinamarink, nor does it rely so heavily on the psychological horror, it goes a much more violent, gory, in-your-face kind of route.

The other key difference between Skinamarink and The Outwaters is that Skinamarink has almost no plot set-up and immediately goes about building (or trying to build) tension. The Outwaters, by contrast, is roughly the same length as Skinamarink, but the first hour is nothing but set-up.

Which frankly does get a bit boring without Skinamarink's eye for creepy shots or like The Blair Witch Project's tension naturally building between the cast, it's just kind of an hour of these kids fucking around on their way to film a music video.

A music video for a song, by the way, which was VERY transparently written for the sole purpose of being repeated creepily at the end of the film, cause sister you have a very nice voice but what the fuck are those lyrics? Y'all really thought that song was going somewhere?

But i digress. The point is none of the characters are particularly interesting and aside from a few brief lil bits of foreshadowing, neither is the action or the cinematography.

What the film is GOING for, clearly, is verisimilitude. They have an hour of just fragmented shots of the kids fucking about to create the illusion of raw footage in order to draw you into their world so you're immersed when the shit hits the fan.

I can understand why it works for some people, but it just didn't really grab me the way that y'know again The Blair Witch Project did. There just wasn't that chemistry or naturalism in the dialogue.

But let's get to the shit hitting the fan, because that's why i ended up giving it three and a half stars on letterboxd when the first hour would barely warrant a two.

It is very confusing, it's an abstract mood piece of just horrible suffering and violence more than anything else, and its lil cinematography gimmick is that it's all shot at night with nothing visible but whatever the cameraman's flashlight is illuminating. This flashlight having roughly the same effect as a light being shined through a hole cut in the sheet, or a pinhole camera, or a penlight, or maybe a little light-up toy you'd get in a fucking happy meal, you get the idea.

That will probably piss off most potential viewers. It sure as hell pissed off the person i watched it with, and i must confess i wasn't the BIGGEST fan of it, either.

In spite of that, though, it does manage to be quite effective. What you can see is evocative of (gotta give the shout-out to the friend i watched it with for pointing this out) early Silent Hill games and is gnarly as fuck. But more importantly, the sheer level of suffering the actors are portraying goes a longer way towards disturbing you than anything you actually see.

They all seem to regress and start acting like children the more they suffer, which is one of my absolute most hated harrowing things in horror, something i absolutely cannot fucking stand to watch so that made it a lot more personally effective for me

So yeah, it did make me genuinely depressed and uncomfortable after i finished watching it. Not to mention the last 5 minutes or so are in broad-ass daylight and contain one of the most grotesque scenes in recent film history, so that was a lovely change of pace.

I'll say this about it, it's like Skinamarink in that it's best going into it with a certain set of expectations. It may even be i need to watch it again like i did with Skinamarink to properly appraise it, and i probably will at some point, but it's also a lot harder to find online so tbh i can't be arsed. It's not THAT good a movie

Anyway, just don't go in expecting answers. There are clues they give you as to the kind of fuckery that may or may not be going on, but that's really not the point.

The POINT is to get lost in these characters' world and then have them helplessly subjected to a level of abstract and uncontrollable suffering that will keep you up at night.

It's experimental, it's a gamble. For some people, it'll work great, for some people it won't. I'm not totally sure how to say which camp you'll fall into, but y'know....if you really really enjoyed Skinamarink and are also a fan of both found footage and gratuitous splatter violence, i'd say that you are the target audience.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ram Sweeney x Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Dating HC's

Notes:

*Sigh*... I write regularly write for creeps like Freddy Krueger and Offenderman... and am one of the few tumblrs that write for Sheriff Hoyt romantically... and yet Kurt and Ram are my real guilty pleasure characters.

Anyway I hope someone other then me wanted this XDD I'm gonna do a Kurt one too.

Warnings: Some NSFW but not explicit.

Your song: The Way I Loved You (Taylor Swift)

He respects my space and never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother, talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable

...

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

So in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

You two as a TV/Movie/Book couple: Bianca Piper and Wesley Rush (The DUFF)

Having the kind of relationship that no one else understands at all. Like, you have nothing in commen except commen history and your feelings for each other (Which are, on the other hand, totally clear to everyone) but when you're together you're always laughing and being affectionate.

Being in an on and off relationship throughout middle school and highschool- but never and I repeat; Never, is anyone permitted to mess with you at all. Because Ram always considers you his, even when you arent together.

So yeah, you always have 2 (Ram, and Kurt) large football star bodyguards at your disposal.

Being very playful together.

SOOOOoooooo much PDA. Including: Making out in the hallways and at school events like football games (You dont care who sees), sitting in his lap or at least squished close to his side at lunch, him throwing you over his shoulder to carry you places, him giving you piggy back rides, him picking you up and twirling you around, him just standing behind you with his arms around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder when he's bored (With everything but you), his arm being over your shoulders as you walk together, you wiping peanut butter on his nose to get a rise out of him and then running away so he'll chase you, you peppering his face with kisses to make him laugh, etc.

Having a turbulent relationship. Because while, when all is well you two are like peanut butter and jelly and seem like the perfect highschool sweethearts, when you arent it's because Ram has gotten really jealous over something and called you a terrible name (Skank, whore, slut, bitch- any of those) or you understandably got irritated by his bullying and/or being a perverted, sexist asshole and you have huge, blow out fights in the middle of school and by the end of the period the whole student body knows about it.

You give him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder after those (If you didnt break up, that is) and he sends Kurt to give you messages.

When you make up its because he sincerely apologises although he doesn't 100% understand what he did wrong which becomes part of the next fight.

As you've been together so very long, he is basically part of your fucking family. He's so familiar and casual with your parent/s and/or sibling/s. They love him so much that, whether you're with him at the time or not, they allow him into the house and your bedroom with a cup of tea and snacks. (Its the 'American dream' popular-boy / football-star thing.)

So yeah, sometimes when you're mad at him or he wants to get back together (Which generally you want to do, to. You honestly have the same biological timer. Its like, 3 weeks pass by of being broken up and then ding ding ding! You both get the feelings its time to get back together and start sharing grins in the hallway and talking to your friends about eachother) you'll just find him waiting for you in your room when you come home.

Hanging out a looooooot with Kurt. Movie nights at your place, hanging out at the mall together on weekends sneaking out to see them at the football field at night time, etc. When you're sad, they'll both turn up wherever you are to cheer you up, too! Goofballs.

This does not mean there arent times where Ram shoo's Kurt off, though, when you two want some alone time together (*Eyebrow wiggles*) because of course. I'm just saying, you're a close-knit group.

When you are alone together, not much changes from when you're around others honestly XD You're still just as playful and affectionate. You just, you know, also have sex.

When he's down, you rusk your graceful image and climb through his bedroom window to be there with him. You dont fuck, you dont even really kiss. You just climb into bed with him and he'll tuck you under his chin and close his eyes. Legit old married couple. And you two sleep- by morning, he usually feels better and refuses to let you get out of bed with him.

"Five more minutessssss, babe!" He whines, holding you against him and pressing kisses to your head. You know he'll just say that again in 5 minutes time- and over, and over, and over again.

"Oh- no. I've been caught in this trap before Ram. We have school, so we have to get up. Come on!" You push firmly at his stomach (or abs) with your fists; not that that does much as he just just groans or gathers your little wrists in one big fist to stop you (Either way he certainly doesn't even flinch). His eyes are still closed. You sigh.

Now you have two choices, you can either give in and snuggle back into him for the rest of the morning, or threaten to send an attack towards his groin and he'll literally fling himself outta bed. Like "OH LOOK AT THE TIME- Kurt's gonna be waiting for us outside. Lets go!"

There are also mornings that you wake up with him (No sad Ram the night before necessary) and are all too happy to stay there with him. You just adorably nod into his chest, eyes still closed and making the cutest half-asleep morning sound when he asks if you wanna stay here a bit longer and he happily pulls the blanket over both your heads; shielding you both from the real world for a while.

OKAY MOVING ON FROM THAT FLUFFINESS.

You are also the only person who has any sort of control over him and Kurt. Like you can take them down a few pegs with just a look.

You two do date other people when you're broken up but its clear to anyone watching that these are just nice place holders for eachother. Neither of you are ever as happy with others as you are with eachother. You're ridiculously in love, actually.

Ypu were the first one to say I Love You, and he immediately called Kurt for guidance XD

Places you've had sex (Because it is always the full monty with Ram): Both your bedrooms so so so many times, the school bathrooms, his car, Kurts car (Kurt was NOT pleased.), the back of the football field, under the bleachers during a game or pep rally (he was benched for being too violent) + under the bleachers during practise + under the bleachers when the football field is deserted, the back of the school, the faculty parking lot at school, Kurts and Heather Chandler's houses (Parties. Basically a Westerburg High party is not complete without Y/N L/N and Ram Sweeney breaking in someones bed), his parent's car, the woods, cow pasture (a picnic blanket was used), and finally some mall changing rooms.

You leave him messages on his answering machine. He listens to every one of them (Which means something because he doesnt listen to anyone elses, unless he's gotta get through them to get to yours).

Him being SUCH a jealous asshole (With everyone except Kurt).

HIM STANDING UP TO THE HEATHERS FOR YOU.

#PromKingAndQueen

Having Kurt "Smartest guy on the football team," Kelly be your (Occasionally, live in- yes, he has slept over with the two of you on the floor so he could break up fights) couples councellor. Often his advice is 'fuck it out' but he also comes up with oddly wise shit sometimes. Mostly he's just very exasperated though. Like, its obvious you two are gonna end up together- stop bothering me with this shit. Let me get some pussy for myself guys please-

You two getting a bit frisky on movie nights with Kurt and he throws stuff at you. He just starts bringing a pool noodle (That he drew an angry face onto) along with him and hitting y'all with it whenever he feels its necessary. Cuz I mean, on one hand, of course he's happy for his bro Ram that he's getting his dick wet, but on the other- ITS FUCKIN MOVIE NIGHT, PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER FOR T W O S E C O N D S (Oh the irony- it does indeed escape him). He'll park his ass right in the middle of you two if you keep it up.

If he had survived, you and Ram would have broken up after graduation and spent college apart, before bumping into each other again back home as new (Improved. Especially him) people that fit together better now and ended up getting back together for good.

[thebigoblin]

Sterek Fic Recs Part 3

[You can find the first two lists here: Fluffy Sterek Recs & Sterek Fic Recs. Also here's a special fic, check it out]

First off, thank you all for a 100 followers!! As of September 7, 2021 you've made me feel really, really good about my obsession with two oblivious idiots (with sprinkles of the hale pack and other fandoms), and this is my way of thanking you ♥️

If you're on PC, you can see that there is a page dedicated solely to fic recs, which caters to other ships & fandoms too. So don't feel left out if you're looking for something other than Sterek!

Without further ado, let's get to it then!

an awful curse

Isaac is asleep in a chair. The angle of his neck makes Derek wince in sympathy.

"Isaac," Derek says.

Isaac snaps awake immediately.

"You're-"

"Where's Stiles?"

"Stiles?" Isaac asks.

Jesus. It's not like they know more than one.

AU - Canon Divergence | 6.3k | By blinkiesays

Throw Away The Key

Stiles knew it was stupid to go to the hunters’ headquarters all by himself, so when he finds himself caught, he can really only blame himself.

It shouldn't surprise Stiles when the situation quickly goes from bad to worse as the hunters throw him to a feral werewolf waiting to tear him apart.

Sucks that it's Derek, though.

AU - Canon Divergence | 5.9k | By mommymuffin

Whatever Happened Last Night, Why Did Glitter Have to Be Involved?

Derek rolled out of bed in search of his phone - quickly finding it in the pair of jeans that had evidently been tossed aside haphazardly on the way to the bed. Seeing the pants sparked flashes of memories - wolfsbane-laced alcohol, loud music, multicolored lights.

Peter’s new supernatural-friendly club - the pack had gone to the opening night party.

He unlocked his phone and opened the pack group chat, which Erica had affectionately named ‘Moon Sluts’.

>>Derek: What the fuck happened last night

[or: Derek wakes up with three things on his mind: he feels like he was punched by a troll, his mate is missing, and there's glitter covering his bed. Oh, and the pack group chat is mildly helpful]

**

Prompt #159 - “Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.”

Crack Vibes | 1.2k | By ash_mcj

Good to Eat

So if Stiles married Derek Hale, he could become Jewish too? Perfect. It was settled. Stiles gleefully shoveled a forkful of cheesy shells into his mouth.

"Uh oh. I know that look.” Claudia shook her head.

"Don’t worry, Mom, ” Stiles said, reaching for his plastic Batman cup.

"I’ve got a plan.”

"Good luck, Derek Hale,” his mother muttered.

Rude.

AU - Childhood Friends | 1.7k | By Jmeelee

Murder Brows and Avoidance Tactics

Derek gets the wrong end of the stick.

Written for prompt: "You're jealous, aren't you?"

AU - Everybody Lives | 2k | By Dragonink13

Double Vision (only registered users can read this one)

"So what caused my hearing and sense of smell to dull?"

Deaton's brow furrowed, all amusement vanishing from his face. "What do you mean?"

Derek snapped, letting loose all of his anger and fear at the man before him. "I mean I can't hear your heartbeat or the cars down below or the birds in the attic! I can't smell the flowers in Mrs. Everett's apartment, I can't smell the rotting burger in the fridge that Isaac left in there a month ago, I can't smell or hear anything like I normally can!" Deaton mouth was pressed into a thin line. "Can you explain that?!"

 Tumblr Prompt: Derek jealous of himself.

AU - Everyone Lives | 6.1k | By Novkat21

Kiss?

Derek likes kissing Stiles, honestly he does. Until he doesn't.

Fluff | 3.6k | By clotpolesonly

Oblivious Misadventures, and Other Such Tales

Going to college was exciting and new, a chance for new friends and a fresh start, and the best part was, there was a supernatural fraternity on campus, meaning Scott finally had the freedom to be himself.

Then he met the resident human who came with a stalker alpha. What was the point of a supernatural fraternity if he still had to pretend to be human. And seriously, did Stiles ever fall asleep somewhere normal?

--

(aka - Five TImes Scott Found Derek and Stiles Sleeping, and the One Time He Didn't)

AU, Supernatural is real but not known by everyone, Alive Hale Family | 11.2k | By Little Spoon

Call Me (Cliché)

When the sheriff's sister ends up in a wheelchair for the duration of summer, Stiles' dreams of three months full of pack bonding, late-night video games and bro-time with Scott come crashing down. He's temporarily relocated to Redford, a three hour drive away, and he can already tell he won't be getting many visitors.

Sure the pack will forget about him while he's gone, Stiles is determined to make the most of his summer of isolation, training his body and mind - and his magic - so he can come back with a bang, and maybe catch a certain Sourwolf's eye.

Then Derek shows up at his window one night with a flimsy excuse about needing research done. Suddenly, his summer away is looking a whole lot more interesting.

AU - Canon Divergence | 84.6k | By Orphan_Account aka the author has dissociated themselves from the fic

Shiver

Stiles has really, really cold hands. Luckily, Derek knows just what to do about that.

Established Relationship | 1.7k | By canistakahari

Derek Hale's Possible Heart

An anon sent me a sterek prompt for Laura teasing Derek and Stiles joining in, then somehow sharing their feelings for each other in the mess of things.

AU - Canon Divergence | 4.3k | By loserchildhotpants

What's a Secret Identity?

Stiles sipped at a mug of coffee, absently watching the news play in the break room. Because of course a news station couldn't play anything other than its own content, even in the one part of the office that was supposed to be a safe space from work. His interview with Superman was making a rerun and Stiles glanced at Derek before commenting absently, “I’d totally let Superman fuck me.”

Derek, who had been in the middle of a swig of coffee, choked violently, “That’s not something I needed to know at nine in the morning, Stiles.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow. “What time would you prefer I tell you about all of the things I would let Superman do to my body?”

AU, Derek is Superman | 7k | By Chrystie, imabignerd and kate882

i see that you've come so far [just like them old stars]

But her big brother’s unwillingness to touch anyone, like he thinks he doesn’t deserve it isn’t the only thing she notices. She also notices how Stiles doesn’t touch him.

Everyone reaches for Derek in some form or another, but Stiles- Stiles is something different altogether because he reaches for Derek but he never makes contact.

He’ll be trying to shimmy past Derek and instead of putting a hand on his arm like most of them do, he’ll reach out with a hand and stop it scant centimeters away from Derek’s skin.

Or they’ll be walking alongside each other and Stiles will hover a hand on Derek’s lower back.

It’s both fascinating and tragic to watch, like NASA lost control of one of their robots and instead of it landing on the moon it’s fated to gravitate around it.

AU - Canon Divergence | 2.3k | By crossroadswrite

Déjà Vu

There’s a shop in Beacon Hills that no one knows anything about except that the mysterious proprietor, a witch in whispered circles, knows what you need before you do and that the things given are always just what you need.

Derek, lost after a breakup, heads into the shop to see if he can find something to help him forget his ex. The witch gives him a potion to drink, and when Derek wakes up, he finds he’s sixteen again and there’s a new student at his school, Stiles Stilinski.

Everything is familiar and yet not, and Derek finds he’s strangely drawn to Stiles in a way that is entirely supernatural.

AU, Supernatural is Real | 8.8k | By gremlins-came-and-got-me and StaciNadia

Start Small, Like Oak Trees

The months following Allison's death have passed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem to lose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts. Eventually, he thinks, he'll just fade away. He isn't sure anyone would notice. Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Hale attempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory the world doesn't seem so awful.

He's not sure what he'd been expecting when he eventually convinces Derek to move into the Stilinski's spare bedroom, but a newfound passion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn't it.

AU - Canon Divergence | 24.2k | By SmallBirds

Undercover K9

As it usually goes, Derek acts before he thinks. This time he has a good reason, though-it's all Stiles' fault. Mostly.

Or, that time when Derek volunteered to spend all his spare time as a wolf with the Beacon Hills Sheriff's Office K9 Unit, just to protect Stiles' dumb ass.

Future Fic | 17.9k | By Cobrilee

Rose Colored Glasses

“Obviou—um, what? Derek?” Stiles managed. “What? You’re not colorblind. You’re colorblind?”

“Yes.” Derek said gruffly. “And?”

“And? What do you mean and? You can’t see colors?” Stiles demanded, thrown. “Does it—what kind is it? Red-green? Blue-yellow? Why doesn’t—oh my god, is this why your entire freaking wardrobe was completely black until like two years ago? Oh my god!”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a favorite color, Stiles.”

Established Relationship | 2.2k | By SassyStarboard

1,460 Days (gotta clean my slate)

Two years after Scott becomes Alpha and Derek gives it up for Cora, Stiles gets hurt during a fight and ends up in a coma for two weeks. According to the nurse, a guy has been visiting him every day and, as much as he wishes it were Derek, it sounds a lot like Scott. Except he and Scott aren't even friends anymore.

AU - Canon Divergence | 10k | By army_of_angels

This is it for now. Happy reading y'all! ♥️

[anton-the-cock]

I’m not going to change your views but it does feel a bit dismissive when you say it wasn’t that bad because he had rich parents who neglected him but hey they got a maid for him and he probably wasn’t outcasted or bullied so hey it’s not that bad right 🤷‍♀️! I don’t know he definitely didn’t have the worse out of the villains but I don’t know it felt a bit dismissive is all. Although we need to all remember these are fictional characters so have no idea why the other anon needed to get so aggressive! Also the person in the notes I don’t know how to say it but uh the whole the Todoroki’s had a rich father they didn’t have to work a day in their life take is not a good look. Just because someone has parents with money it doesn’t derail the fact that neglect can cause trauma.

Anyways for the real reason I sent this, you wonder why Dabi is so insane. Well take into account the neglect alongside the fact that he burnt to near death up on that hill alone at the age of what 13? That’s got to be extra traumatising, especially for a child that was already not mentally ok. We also don’t know what his circumstances were like after that fire, like was he homeless? Or picked up by someone nefarious? Kind of like AFO(not him exactly but someone nasty) who maybe fed on his brewing anger and hate instead of positive healing. I’m sure we will find out at some point? I don’t think it was just what happened in the Todoroki household or the fire that broke his mind? There had to be other factors after the fire after his “death”!

[[WARNING!!! I love Dabi as a character but I am not a woobifier so if you are too much into him don't read!!!! No complaints taken, y'all will be blocked for being rude I am too old to deal with people unable to interact with me in good faith (anon it's not for you, you are good and I can't understand your point of view I am just not as good as a person and too old for that shit)]]

I don't think I will change my mind either but I feel like the belief that every trauma is equally bad is just... Simply wrong. Like, we can legit compare this stuff and how badly it affects our brain, what do y'all think psychologists research 🤷‍♀️ Like, your therapist won't tell you this because it's not their job to make you understand you not the centre of the Earth (and it won't help because it is a legit trauma response that is very valid but is annoying you're fucking 25 yo). And to say that, neglectful parenthood is probably the worst parenthood style, as far as I know XD I wrote coursework about this (neglectful bitches are having a lot of need to make us the biggest victims (the bitches is me))... It also feels really American to me? Like, are we going to pretend people who got to live in a nice house and were neglect somehow got it as bad as people living in poverty or warzones? Hello? Imagine telling some orphan "I know you have no parents but actually, my trauma of my father not spending enough time with me is just as severe as yours". Bruh couldn't be me sorry... Like, even taking into account the fact that we can have weaker or stronger nervous systems or be more prone to depressive episodes *looks in the mirror and cries* I simply wouldn't find the guts to say my trauma is as severe as idk people who had physically abusive parents or no parents at all or who were disowned for being gay

And like **again** I am not saying that neglect is not traumatic I WAS NEGLECTED THIS IS TRAUMATIZING AS FUCK. I just am living in a country at war and with lots of discrimination problems and I like... Can't say I am the biggest victim. Sorry I can't though there were times when I was a lot more bitchy especially before being in therapy so I understand where you are coming from and I know what I am saying won't resonate with everyone (it's ok go on your own healing journey I believe in you) but this doesn't mean it is garbage and won't help me or someone else... I've already talked once about it but as a person, I am very easily irritated and envious and really not your local Jesus and partially my trauma turned me like this so being more humble about my sufferings helps me not be a complete bitch (believe me or not but people with traumas and mental illnesses are often insufferable *looks in the mirror* not me though I am perfect... BUT IT IS OK TO BE INSUFFERABLE OK??? like, bitch, that's normal. That's normal to stink when you are depressed it's ok to be a bitch when you are hurting. Forgive yourself because I forgive you (when you are not being an abusive asshole but if you apologize and explain yourself I will forgive that too)

The reason why I talk about the fact he is rich is that I've got a disease called leftism and I am a person of several marginalized identities and since this fandom LOVES looking at characters like real humans, I looked at Dabi this way. And if Dabi was a real human, I wouldn't sympathize with him one bit. I would fucking hate him for being the biggest entitled asshole who commits crimes for the reason his Daddy didn't give him attention. Bitch, my Dad didn't give me attention either! But somehow I don't kill people! And I don't even have money!!!! But like... I am not denying that neglectful parents are not a problem. It is. But he is overreacting, bro. He needs to humble down and recognize the fact he is a fucking idiot (he is). He has inherently so much more resources to recover and heal himself than I had... Yes, I am just being jealous at this point but honestly. Making an entire country suffer for you is not a good thing and y'all need to stop using trauma and mental illness as an excuse for people. No! Being abusive to people because of neglect is not valid, is overreacting and you had no reason to do that. I am dismissing your trauma because you are exaggerating it to make me sympathize with your asshole behaviour. I won't judge people with different sets of standards as I judge myself

I bet it would be dismissive and bad if I said it in conversation with someone who is currently struggling with mental health and is not a murderer. But guess what! I don't talk with humans and my friends the same way I talk on my Tumblr about fictional characters 🤷‍♀️ Not to mention I don't have rich friends akabsksbxm

I think with Dabi there's this whole thing where we saw him at 14 (poor baby boy) and 24 (a grown-ass boy) and... Like, I am so sorry for 14 years old Touya not receiving the help he needs (bruh so relatable) but I am not gonna act like 24 years old bitch can't get his ass to a psychiatrist (extremely unrelatable and infuriating). We shouldn't apply the same standards to kids and adults. We can talk all day long about how society is bad and how our parents ruined us but at some points, you gotta take your life into your own hands and do something and be an adult. And it's fucking hard when you're born with a shitty brain that was fucked up by your parents even more in a society where no one gives a fuck but I sincerely don't know another way to live. You will feel bad and want to die but you either keep on recovering or keep on getting worse and at this point getting worse is Dabi's *choice* That's how I live, that's my framework and I am, of course, extremely fortunate in a lot of ways but I just don't know how are you supposed to survive without the notion that grown people are responsible for themselves and their mental health. We can't act like adults are babies

But as a character, Dabi is fucking hot ngl. Like, do I sometimes want to murder my entire family, make them suffer AND commit terrorist attacks? We all do. Dabi is the dark fantasy of us neglectful bitches craving some attention. Gotta kill the president and tell everyone that my Dad sucks. Imagine the entire country hearing your Dad sucks? That's the juice, that's the dream. Trauma makes you vicious. I get the sentiment. Imagine all those fuckers who made you feel like shit pissing their pants and crying? Imagine your Mom being afraid of you the way you used to be afraid of her? People do have the desire for some violent justice but like... Think of bullied kids committing school shootings. But instead of a kid, it's a grown man who graduated school and who also have a rich father

Ok too much about irl stuff and philosophy shit. I know my way of talking is kinda brute so just know the way I treat people is different from that I treat fictional characters, in particular, I don't call real-life humans submissive and breedable... And stuff...

Damn Dabi is kinda good to project your hatred of your parents in bruh, I should write a fanfic about that (would be cathartic)

To the plotline, I am also very interested in what the hell happened with him after burning because... How the hell he wasn't found? I kind of DON'T want him to be groomed at this point because I feel like it won't be as cool as him just more naturally evolving into what he became. Like, surely, he is an asshole but consider this: as a villain, he is morally obligated to be an asshole

I feel like someone hiding him and Touya overstating the gruesomeness of his living conditions to the dude so he feels *bad* for him and hides him and feels sympathy and Touya gets attention but also begins to reassure himself in the fact his Dad needs to be punished... Idk it's a lot of mystery but I feel like more suffering won't deliver the point the way I want it... I mean it CAN be handled this way and initially I thought a lot about Dabi being brainwashed a bit or having his memories altered so it seems worse to him or even him being groomed or lied too but nowadays I am not into it. I mean I believe in Horikoshi and that he will handle him well 🛐

I talk a lot so I will summarize

If we judge him as a real human

14 yo Touya - DID NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE PROTECT HIM

24 yo Dabi - go fuck yourself bitch you older than me and act like a child and kill people, I couldn't care less about your trauma rich boy

If you want me to talk as his psychologist

Yeah, it is painful and sad, I understand him so much and surely, his trauma is valid as is his hatred but probably revenge won't bring him what he wants. And what he wants is love and attention. But he gotta make choices that will lead to his healing. He needs to *want* to heal. And we will step by step go to the healing because it is possible. He is loved and he is enough. AND YOU ALL MOTHERFUCKERS WILL HEAL I BELIEVE IN YOU BESTIES

Also his therapist (behind his back)

You won't believe it but my client is the most infantile attention whore I've ever met

But if we talk about him as a character... Very delicious soup

If you talk with your friends

Please, if your friends are being abusive to you or someone else don't even LET them say how their trauma made them this way. No. Nothing allows you to be an abuser. Call them out and stop them and make them talk to the therapist. Like, surely, there are extreme situations like severe mental illnesses or extreme neglect where we should be more forgiving but babying adults won't do you any good and won't make them recover

Yeah, I guess this is what I forgot to say. When I say "it wasn't that bad" what I mean is that I would be more forgiving to people who had it worse. It's more of a personal measure where I can tolerate stuff from people who had particular traumas or from those who suffered greatly (it's not my place to be a bitch here). I can forgive 14 years old or a poor person for stealing stuff but not the 25-year-old man who got no need for money and is not a kleptomaniac. I would be more forgiving to Shigaraki than to Dabi because Shigaraki was groomed a whole lot. Same for Toga, who is not even an adult or Twice who is a poor orphan. But that doesn't mean I would forgive them completely. All of them are shitty people. It's just that they had fewer resources and possibilities to not be what they became while Dabi had more but he acts like he is extremely hurt and the biggest victim which is like... There will be people like this in your life, please, don't make friends with them, they WILL abuse you

I talked a lot damn. It's adhd I can't shut up

[wishfullyeternal]

Reid x Reader- Hurt Pt 6

Reid x Reader- Hurt Pt 6

Warnings- Mentions of violence, gunshots, swearing, PTSD, depression etc. Please exercise caution.

Words- 1544

A/N- finally got around to continuing this part! hopefully y'all like it! as always requests are open and love you lovelies!

In your mind it was all so clear, each memory playing in your head effortlessly, but when it came to words, it was useless. Useless to even try and explain what had happened, it was so simple yet so complicated, and to even speak it aloud would give Noah some kind of power beyond the grave.

"I don't know," You said, rocking back and forth slightly, feeling sweat begin to bead at your forehead, even the fleeting thought of his appearance was enough to make you visibly shake, your fists clenched and breathing erratic.

"You seem nervous, is everything okay?" You nodded and clenched your teeth, struggling to answer the therapists' question.

"It was cold, and I had just gotten off work," You trailed off, struggling to remember the events even though they were seared into your mind.

"Noah was home, in my apartment, looking for something to accuse me of cheating on him, and he found a picture of Spencer, and screamed in my face-"

"Are you in a romantic relationship with Dr.Spencer Reid?" You shook your head violently,

"Oh no, it's not like that, we're just on cases a lot together, so we've become pretty close friends," You laughed nervously, and the therapist pondered on your response, but nodded and wrote down something on her notebook. You made a mental note to try and see what it was.

"Once he was done yelling at me, he grabbed something to try and tie me, to keep me still so he could-" You took in a breath, trying to find a way to move away from the subject, but there really wasn't.

"Rape me." The therapist nodded and scribbled something down,

"I didn't have my gun, so I kicked him and we ended up fighting, and that's how I got the bruise on my face," You gently touched it and winced, but luckily it had begun to heal. The therapist then wrote something else down and spoke.

"After that though, you went to Dr.Reid's house and let the BAU form an investigation trying to find him, correct?" You nodded,

"I stayed with Penelope to help, they wouldn't let me in the field at the time," You nodded to yourself, trying to give yourself some type of confidence to get through the last of the events.

"Noah was already in the building though, and when I was getting coffee from the break room, he found me, and we both pulled our guns in a stalemate," She nodded, wanting you to go on,

"But he got into my head and made me think that it was wrong for me to defend myself, so I ended up putting my gun down and letting him take me from the break room," You shook your head, knowing it was a mistake you made that resulted in his death and maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't surrendered that quickly he would still be here today.

"Why did you let him take you out of the break room," You closed

your eyes and spoke quietly,

"Because maybe if I would have let him do anything he wanted to me, it would all fucking be over," The politeness was gone from your voice, and you desperately wanted to get this fucking interview over with so you could get back onto the field and forget about this.

"What did he say to you?"

"He told me everything he knew about me, my favorite color, favorite music, why I liked it, everything..." You faltered, trying to find the words that would make her understand exactly what you were going through, but there weren't any words that could. Of course your significant other should know these things, but the way he said them with so much venom in his voice completely broke you.

"Reid was walking in at the same time, and pulled his gun, talked to Noah, realized he was going to kill me no matter what, made a judgment call and when he moved, Reid shot him." You quickly finished and began to get up,

"Sit down please, I'm not done yet, I still have to give you my diagnosis." You furrowed your brows, there was nothing wrong with you, why would you need a diagnosis?

"Severe PTSD, and moderate depression, both are caused by the traumatic event, and can be lessened with therapy and meds, I want you to start seeing a therapist once a week and start you on Sertraline, first ten milligrams and then gradually increase from there, if everything goes well, you'll be allowed into the field in about 2 months-"

"2 months?!" You said in disbelief,

"I have to go to therapy and take whatever the fuck that is for two months?" She nodded,

"At your first session the therapist you choose will give you the prescription, so please take it easy and get some rest. I'll check in on you in two months. Know that I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, usually, I would keep someone out of the field for at least three months."

"Can I at least help in Quantico?" She thought for a second but then nodded. You thanked the lord above that you wouldn't be so cooped up at home, and went back to your desk, not before sneaking a look at the clipboard she was writing on.

Obvious PTSD, amnesia? Depression, co-dependent, prone to relationships that give not receive. Stable enough to keep gun, etc, keep an eye out for new relationships/drastic changes in mood or behavior.

You took offense to the co-dependent phrase but quickly booked it to your desk, eager to get the hell out of there. Hotch stood at your desk, awaiting your arrival.

"What did she say?" You nodded to yourself and let out a breath, composing yourself.

"Out of the field for two months, gotta go see a therapist and take some meds for PTSD, I can still help Penelope though," Hotch sighed,

"I'll see if I can lessen it for you, but from now on help Penelope and go to therapy. I know you don't want to but it's for your own good." You nodded and sat at your desk, shuffling through the immense amount of paperwork you had to do from both the FBI itself and the case before.

"What did they say, I can give a second opinion if you want," Reid looked over your shoulder and to the paperwork you were completing.

"You know you can leave that for later," He continued, you nodded.

"Better now than later. I'm out of the field for two months though, and I gotta go get therapy and meds, I can still help Penelope." Reid smiled,

"You know that's not what I meant, what were you diagnosed with," You sighed,

"PTSD and mild depression, she called me co-dependent..." Reid laughed,

"First two maybe, but only mild, and for the co-dependent part, I'm sure you know the answer." You laughed quietly, it was something you were going to have to work on, but not yet.

"You don't seem super nervous talking about it, why?" He tried to pry and get more information, but in reality, the only thing you could think of was how detached you were from the event, seeing it from the outside rather than the inside.

"I guess I'm just detached, that's all." Reid shook his head,

"That won't do you any good, therapy will help though. Do you want me to drive you home, it'll be better to be in a place you recognize." You nodded, trying to remember how you had left the place, probably messy.

"C'mon then, better get there now so we can clean." You smiled, we. Such a simple gesture, but made you feel loved.

The car ride was less than interesting, and you found yourself aimlessly scrolling through your phone, only looking up when Reid had parked.

"Nervous?" He asked, you nodded and sucked in a breath, letting it out and preparing yourself for what was to come.

You got a flash of memories from that night, and the way you ran to your car, hands still barely tied. The hallway you almost tripped down, and the doors you had to open. Reid put his hand around you, noticing your breathing change.

"It'll be okay, it's just a room, and Noah is gone. He won't hurt you again." You nodded and tried to comfort yourself to no avail. Your heart began to beat faster and faster, like thunder in your head, deafening, you could almost feel the blood coursing through your veins. You put in the key to your apartment and gently opened the door, Reid just behind you.

It was a mess. Just like how it was left. You couldn't help but place a hand on your gun, looking for any type of movement.

"There's no one here, promise," Reid said, trying to calm you down. You let your hand wander to your side, and sat down on the loveseat, where everything went down.

"Do you need anything?" Instead of declining like you usually would, you asked for a glass of water, not wanting to get up and get it yourself. Reid went into the kitchen and ran the water, but before he got to you you heard a deafening.

Crack!

Like the thunder you had heard when Reid pulled the trigger on Noah, in fact, it was identical.

Oh fuck...

Not today, not today, not now...

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #427

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one enslaved”

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? I wouldn't say anything, I'm pretty sure I'd just break down. Do you play video games? Not really anymore. :/ I probably would, though, if I had the appropriate consoles for games I want. You can only replay PS2 games but so many times before you're tired of them. Do you spend a lot of time with family? No, honestly. Is your house more than two stories tall? It only has one floor. Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I'm not in a relationship, but I have most certainly never hit an s/o, and they've never hit me. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) I'm not. What color is your hairbrush/comb? White. What snacks do you have available in your household atm? Hm. Just some fruity grain and oats bars, as well as cashew ones. We try to keep sweets out of the house. Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? No. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Holy fuck yes, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? Ha, I'm sure. Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Some random middle-aged man, like who are you sir. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My dad. He can be so rude to people sometimes. When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? Not sure. It's been quite a while. Do you play any games on Facebook? No. What would you like to get a degree in? It'd be nice to get a degree in Arts, but yeah... I'm never going back to school. Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Pretty much every night. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Almost without fail. You've got to, it's part of the experience. What genre of films do you like the best? Horror. How many bank accounts do you have? None, actually. Have you ever had the flu? No, thankfully. What is your goal for the next few months? To start getting in shape/losing weight. I seriously hope this gym routine works out. Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? I have seveeeere sleep apnea. It's shocking, I never would've guessed it, though, so the diagnosis (I had a sleep study, so yes, it's legit) was an extreme surprise. I don't snore at all, nor do I like pass out in the middle of something, but I stop breathing A LOT. For a year or two (no, that is not an exaggeration), it caused consistent, horrible, and violent nightmares/terrors. It made sleep frightening to me, and I was never getting a truly restful sleep. Now, I have an APAP mask (like a less extreme version of a CPAP mask) that helps me greatly. I only very rarely am surprised by a more subtle nightmare now. Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. No, thankfully. What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Quality tattoos, for one. And maybe uhhh... idk. We're the kind of family that buys off-brand foods and drinks all the time because it's cheaper, so I can't say that. Maybe health care? Like I wouldn't want service from a sketchy dentist or something. Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. Charming and romantic. Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? No. You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? That's hard for me to say. She doesn't seem to like talking about her past very much, because I know it's turbulent with her mother. I would say her being disowned, but I don't know how that *actually* affected her. Maybe it was for the better she wasn't under her mom's authority anymore. Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I guess my mom, but she's actually smaller than me now. She's lost a lot of weight and is still going at it. Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Not a house, but rather hay rides and those places you just walk through and experience different stuff. They don't scare me at all; I love 'em. Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? No. Which is worse: dusting or mopping? Ugh, mopping. I don't mind dusting. Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? No. Did you pull a senior prank? No. That shit is so dumb. Did you graduate? High school, yes. Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? No, and I never would. What was the last song you listened to? I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of "Bleed It Out" by Linkin Park right now. It's great. Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no. Is fashion one of your interests? No. Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? Hell if I know. Do you care what people think? Way, way more than I should. Is acting something you enjoy? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel so stupid. What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I tore a ligament badly in my foot maybe a year and a half ago. I was SO sure it was broken. My mom had to help me walk everywhere, and even when she did, I'd be whimpering and seething. Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? No. Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at? If we're excluding all family, I suppose Sara's? Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? Probably at some point as a kid. Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? I played a lot. The only two I really didn't like were soccer and cheerleading. Did you ever watch the show Full House? Hell yeah, I loved it as a kid. Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? Ha ha y'all know I joke about it, but no, not legitimately. It's not like I know him personally at all, and I'm not chasing him to California either. Just let me dream still lmao. Have you ever burned someone’s picture? No, but I've actually heard it's truly therapeutic and not just for dramatic effect, so I wouldn't be opposed to doing so if you handed me a picture of him and a lighter. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? I've never hiked before. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? Uh, no. Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Jason. Do your parents smoke cigarettes? My dad smokes like a chimney and is 100% going to end up with cancer because of it. You should hear his cough. Mom smoked for a very, very brief period before I was born. What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? "Equal in our bones" is on my favorite shirt. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Certain inverts people are wild enough to get, like giant African centipedes in particular. Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Can't say I care. do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Ha, no. We all have natural first impressions and things like that that just... happen. What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? Nothing, really... besides just childhood memories that inevitably came. My hometown was dangerous. What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? I'm not sure. What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? I want to say Old Yeller, but I'm not sure. What’s your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden and The Cheesecake Factory. Is there a dessert you don’t like? Yeah; I don't like pie, strawberry shortcake, and I know there're others. Favorite album? Ozzy's Black Rain. It was my introduction to metal, so there's nostalgic value there, but I also just LOVE every single song. What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? None. I don't read books for that reason. Underwater or outer space? Both kinda frighten me to a degree, but I find outer space to be way cooler. So many colorrrrrrs. Dogs or cats? Cats. Kittens or puppies? Ugh, both are so cute, but I gotta hand it to kittens. Bird watching or whale watching? Whale watching would blow me away. Whales are such magnificent, awe-inspiring animals. What is your spirit animal? Probably a deer. Skittish, shy, and quiet. What was your best subject in school? English. What was your worst subject in school? Math. What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? You and Jason aren't going to last, hunty. Who is your fashion icon? I don't have one. I wear what I want/what's comfortable. Diamonds or pearls? I think diamonds are a lot prettier. What color dress did you wear to prom? First one was maroon, last one was black. What’s your favorite plot-twist? Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. My jaw actually dropped. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Yes. Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Said things I shouldn't. Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad? Yes. Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? Two weeks ago or something like that. Ever pop someone else’s pimple? OH MY GOD NO alskdfa;wekrwer; Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Who are you closest to? My mom. Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No. Are you currently sad about anything? A number of things. Have you had any form of exercise today? No, but tomorrow is day #2 at the gym! Can you handle blood? Yeah, np. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No sir=ee. Are you currently searching for a job? Not anymore, at least not actively. I was going to after TMS, but I'm just... still not ready. Right now, I'm focusing on the gym and getting healthy again, but if the seemingly perfect job comes along, I'm not opposed to taking it up. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No, I've got to have breakfast or else THEN I feel awful.