#and i get the whole 'do what you want forever 🤗' can feel unhelpful... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago

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Hi 💛 I wanted to ask you something, it's been bothering me lately: I've always known that I'm attracted to people regardless of gender. At 15 I called it bisexual. At 17 I started using the label pansexual. Came out as a trans man at 23. I'm now 26 and I'm not sure if bi or pan work for me anymore. I know that I'm still attracted to people regardless of gender, but my experiences as a man in society have made the label gay resonate a lot more with me. Is that okay? What does this mean? Confused

It means whatever you want it to mean. People all across the queer community have used "gay" as shorthand for decades now (maybe including queer people you love). If you just don't vibe with bi/pan on their own, then you don't have to have them on their own. There's nothing wrong with being bi or pan, but there's also nothing wrong with feeling like that doesn't quite encapsulate your relationship with your queerness.

Basically:

#ask #anon #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #described images #image description in alt #reminds me of freddie mercury saying he's gay as a daffodil when an interviewer asked if he was gay #and how i saw people offended he said that when he was ~really bisexual and not gay~ and it's like...#...does it truly harm people saying they're gay as a daffodil because that's just iconic #queer people have been borrowing and using terms from each other for as long as we've been a community #and while there are certain words that are very specific to a specific type of queer person/group that doesn't mean every word is like that #or that every queer word has a neat and tidy little wall around it that includes everybody but you specifically #if you take your feelings and run with 'i just label my experiences as gay/queer' then that's fine #like the label serves you and if it stops serving you then you don't need to keep it #i call myself gay and bisexual because i have a very complex experience due to being trans + a bit of my past #and that's as much as i think people '~need~' to know (though i don't owe even that to others)#and i get the whole 'do what you want forever 🤗' can feel unhelpful...#...the point isn't to wave off how you feel or discount it. the point is to remind you that...#...ultimately your desires and comfort MATTER and essentially 'if it's shit hit the bricks'#you aren't obligated to live for everybody ELSE'S contentment. is that even living when you are only alive at the behest of everybody else?#to deny the self and to deny yourself the chance to have actual complex experiences can be the bane of life itself if that makes sense

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