#and i fuck myself by waking up at 6am AGAIN because i activate my alarm clock by accident

[ms-demeanor]

I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?

Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.

Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it's on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again "when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles" and "effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort."

Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.

BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can't hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.

Also: the eight alarms aren't all there to wake me up, it's just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.

ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn't have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.

Actually here's some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:

1 - If you're laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you're not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you're more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going "if I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc."

2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you're 'supposed' to sleep if doing so will wake you up.

3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.

4 - It's okay to "hang out" in the area where you're going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.

5 - It's better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it's six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don't stress that you're only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you'll probably feel okay.

6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there's some research suggesting that "well-rested" is a state of mind? I've had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself "Yeah, I actually feel pretty good," and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don't *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you're low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I've found some success with it.

7 - This shit is cumulative. If you're doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that's not ideal but you're probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I'm looking at you college students and new parents - it's going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn't getting enough sleep).

[fgodestinyawakenings]

EOR Agartha Singularity Chapter 14~END

With the power of insanity, regret, suffering and MORE SUFFERING... This entire singularity is just going to speed run, trying to complete without needing CS. Because of paranoia that the coming Christmas event requires LB3, especially the amount of new Servant and SOME in particular screams out LB3 requirement

DW seriously wants everyone to catch up to the latest story, which hence implying... Not all event are going to be Salomon-locked anymore

Before I start... The following chapters at this point, DO NOT GRIND FOR BOND POINTS. All the major bosses have finally showed up and that's where you need your sanity and strong team composition to beat them

Chapter 14

Both arrows in this chapter, you're fighting both Megalos and Christopher Columbus. Megalos has 2 HP layer while Christopher has only 1

In the first arrow, you're only required to either survive for 4 turns or break ONLY Megalos's first HP bar.

Second however, you're required to defeat both of them. 

For Megalos 

on his HP break, buffs himself with Critical Damage Up for 3 turns but debuffs himself with Quick Resistance Down for 3 turns (demerit).

Second HP Break, buffs himself Critical Rate Up for 3 turns but debuffs himself with Arts Resistance Down for 3 turns (demerit).

Columbus

on his HP break, buffs the enemy team with Pierce Invincibility for 3 turns.

Personally, kill Megalos first because as usual for Berserker class reason and you really don't want him to receive the invincibility pierce if you break Columbus's HP bar by accident

Chapter 15

A visual story mode, so nothing much to see here except googling up for the summary ^^;

Chapter 16

The final and longest fight for this Singularity, which I repeat, DO NOT GRIND FOR BOND POINTS UNLESS YOU'RE PREPARED!

First arrow... It's actually where Confucious doing confusion fu on you and your team. Not really confusing since you've got Scheherazade and 8 mob bosses of different classes with her

Her only gimmick at each HP break is giving taunt on those mobs for 10 turns, and, she reduced damage from Servants with King trait (*stares at AUO* Yeah people like AUO or Arthur, especially Ozzy). So, you're more or less required to bring either borrowed AOE Alter Ego/Berserker preferably without the King trait to kill them.

Finally the final boss, Demon God Pillar Phenex!

Because you're going to fight that fucking tentacle pillar 3 TIMES in different arrow in two separate classes.

In Arrow 2, you're first fighting it in their Caster class. It take reduced damage from Servants with King trait and, will Charm & inflict HP reduction every turn to a random party member.

Arrow 4, your first round to survive against it after it uses its permanent guts buff 2 times!

Demon God Phenex itself:

Single target Instant-Death combined with a Death Rate Down debuff.

Single Target Charm combined with a 1 turn delayed HP reduction debuff (the affected servant will have its HP reduced once the player's turn ends).

Self cleanse, one-turn incoming debuff negation, NP gauge single tick charge.

Demon God Phenex's NP:

It will first attempt to remove any buffs [CE buffs such as Volumen Hydrargyrum's one won't be affected].

Party wide AOE multiple hit damage.

All the party members will be inflicted with a 1,000 damage per turn Burn debuff.

Arrow 5, this in particular you’re to survive 10 turns when young Fergus from plot reason reduced its MAX HP to 1 and its guts buff completely gone to kill it.

Its skills and NP is the same as before... But it has now an insta-death skill to kill your Servant, so do beware of that.

Now that this first shit is done for main quest... I’ll start immediately for SIN Lostbelt tomorrow/later tonight right after I’m back from my trip to AFA :D

Because writing this with less than 6 hrs of sleep for 2 days is just me wanting to finish this ASAP

Observation:

Apparently this Singularity has a decent habit in throwing different classes together so that you can’t use a single class to deal with them. Yeah, not even Berserker unless you got a good setup to keep them alive

Dahut mini boss:

Or aka Drake Alter, where if she had Wild Golden Hunt with her for her NP... This entire boss fight with her is practically screaming chaos if she decided to buff it with pierce invincibility

Ideally Carmilla and Jack are best against her for Assasin class

But if you’re starting this way later like now, Okada Izou is subsitute to bring in for his anti-humanoid skill

Alternatively any assassin will do to kill her

But when dealing against her with Hydra, do bring a Lancer for main DPS with a good composition of a team to deal with them both

She isn’t that difficult so I considered her more of a mini Boss to deal with before the biggest fish

Wu Zetian:

If you have Scheherazade before starting this Singularity, she’s the ideal Caster against her. Wu Zetian possess the king trait with her so Scheherazade can deal more damage to her

She herself isn’t that much of a problem from her skillset wise other than her own healing and removable defense down debuff

Only problem you’ll need to be aware is her 3 tick NP gauge AND her increase of crit damage after using her NP

Her NP also has a removable poison debuff so Medea Lily can be brought along if needed

Otherwise general Caster should work, and preferably ST NP Caster to deal with her more efficiently

Penthesilea:

Basically where DW decided to kill anyone who brings Heracles-chan as a last resort due to her third skill targets to Greek Mythology Male Servant

Or actually specifically in lore wise, it’s more towards Achilles if you have him on your team

As her Berserker class, she definitely hits like a fucking truck with damage and crit

Her second skill is something to take note as not only with debuff immunity but also giving a charge in NP by 1 tick for sudden killing of your Servant

For her female trait, bring Carmilla or Jack ideally to with her

If you’re starting like now for this Singularity, Foreigner Servants and Izou are very recommended in dealing with her

The SSR Main Servant Scherherazade too as well for her NP and skill against King-trait Servants

Karna, Arjuna, Scathach, Enkidu, Oda Nobunaga & Ruler Martha, and AUO respectively for their NP/skills against Divine and Weak to Enuma Elish trait

Telsa & Raikou for her Earth & Sky trait

Siegfried-George combo is also recommended if you want Siegfried’s NP to deal higher damage against her

If you don’t have any of the above, bring more taunters and healers in both CE and Servant to keep the damage away from your main DPS Servant

Support like Jeanne and the Great 4 Casters are welcomed in supporting your main DPS

Overall until Chapter 13, majority of the fight requires you to survive until you break her first HP layer

Megalos & Christopher Columbus

In general of Megalos, his own taunt debuff to your Servant is stackable. Taunters like Leonidas and George are perfect to take in that debuff from your main dps

On my first post on Megalos, I’m completely wrong, he doesn’t have his Nine Lives NP for this NPC boss fight. His NP is a very high damage AOE NP that can be blocked by evasion or invincibility

But, he’s still same as Heracles with the same weakness as before

Euryale for usual being most recommended against him as a budget 3* due to her NP

Others such as:

Greek Mythology Males: Penthesila Her first gacha appearance practically screamed to raise her ASAP just to deal with him with further damage. Her own skill debuff immunity prevents her from being debuff with taunt. But, her weakness is also her own class as a Berserker that will kill her ASAP

Humanoid: Nightingale & Izou (Only available after 2018/2020(estimated if no changes in schedule))  Nightingale’s own skill does harder damage against him with humanoid trait. Also, her NP provides good healing when needed. But once again her downside as a Berserker class will kill her faster

Male: Orion, Tamamo Lancer, Stheno and Medb

For Stheno, you can pair her with Euryale for a charm-locked combo

Orion, Tamamo Lancer and Medb with their own ST NP will definitely kicks his butt big time!

CEs to pair with them generally is still Kiyohime CE for damage boost

Divine: Karna, Arjuna, Napoleon (only available after release of LB2), Oda Nobunaga, Ruler Martha, Scathach and Enkidu

Scathach and Enkidu for stalling if needed since their NP will stun him against his Divine Trait

Karna and Napoleon for higher damage against him

Oda Nobunaga both version are great in dealing with him for another alternative. But Oda Nobunaga Archer more recommended if you’re not able to get her Berserker version, as her Archer is a free welfare Servant

CE to bring:  Fondant au Chocolat or Versus for higher damage against Divine Servants 

Large: Arthur Pendragon

Once again after his limited appearance in Chaldea’s Boy Collection, his own third skill will give him great boost in damage against him for his large trait

AUO for Enuma Elish, Telsa and Raikou for Earth & Sky trait

Other CEs: Holy Shroud of Magdalene More for your taunters to keep them alive longer if needed when dealing with him

Christopher with Megalos

His own skillset and NP, except for a guts buff that charges his NP unexpectedly, isn’t really a problem

But because of his dangerous pierce invincibility that buffs his whole team when HP break is a big threat

Heck, his NP can actually be blocked with evasion!

Against him, I personally go for a stalling/total defense with Mash, borrowed Jeanne and MHXX + Kiritsugu for DPS

Or actually go for a setup that generates NP fast if you want Jeanne to be able to use invincibility against both of their NP at the same time

RNG plays a part which I’m thankful that by the time after Megalos is gone and Christopher’s HP break was at a good timing that he can’t do it with his NP

Otherwise, if he’s alone, he’s generally not a threat until you got a Berserker with him

Scheherazade & her mobs

Ozzy somehow becomes a not-really recommended Rider to bring because of his king-trait against her

Or actually any Servant with a King Trait isn’t recommended to bring against her

Male Servant will have a problem when dealing against her 2nd charm skill as it’s an AOE skill against all Male Servants

Has an AOE NP that deals extra damage to king/queen trait Servants

As this is after Fate/CC collab, borrow Alter Ego Kiara for AOE NP to deal with her and her mobs. Some of her mobs are under the weakness of Alter Ego

But you’ll need taunters here without a doubt because the neutral damage from the mobs will still hurt like a bitch

If you don’t have Kiara in your friend list or Servant Roster, find/borrow an AOE Berserker to kill them quickly

Phenex

General

Own skillset:

Voice of Allurement / Coming out from My Mouth: Inflict "Charm" Status and "HP Drain after 1 turn" on a target. (1 turn)

Droopy Eye: Inflict "Insta-Kill Resist Down" status to one target. (3 turns)

The Time For Rebirth is Here: Remove all debuffs from self and grants self debuff immunity. (1 turn) Charges own NP Gauge by 1 tick.

Own NP:

It will first attempt to remove any buffs [CE buffs such as Volumen Hydrargyrum's one won't be affected].

Incineration Ceremony : Phenex (NP) Deals damage to all targets and inflict "Burn" status to all targets. (5 turns)

For my fight with it in BOTH Caster and Ruler class, it’ll always use the skill on third bullet point before it uses his NP the following turn. That habit is one where if you do face, you’ll have a lot of problem to stall him if you don’t have buff remover in your team

I’ve been lucky for insta-kill for both fights since none of them got it from Phenex

The first bullet point of its skill can be RNG dependable. If it hits your Servant that about to use their NP, it’ll stun them for 1 turn before draining

Caster version

Your budget Riders who got King-trait like Boudica and Alexander are preferably not recommended to bring for this fight. It has a permanent buff to take lesser damage from those with king trait

Rider except the 2 and welfare like Santa Artoria are viable to bring, especially those with ST NP

Origin Bullet if you have to deal more damage against it

Vessel of the Saint if needed to have your main DPS not be debuff by charm

Ruler version

For its first round in arrow 4, you’re required to survive until you cleared 2 of its guts buff

All Guts buff revived it at 100% HP

Second round in arrow 5, you’re to survive at least for 10 turns until Young Fergus debuff activated + his own guts buff removed to kill it

Like first round, its Guts buff revived it at 100% HP per activation.

But Young Fergus’s own debuff against it will lowered its Max HP every time it triggers

Borrow/Use an ST NP Avenger like Jeanne Alter and Lobo to kill it as your main DPS

Or if you’re starting way later especially now, you can use budget Salieri to work with borrowed avenger to kill it more quickly

Taunters and healers are welcomed especially taunters to steer the charm debuff away from them

Healer like Hans or Merlin to keep them alive to deal and survive for those specific requirements

For Hans that I brought him, I had him with Demonic Bodhisattva CE so that his NP heals more for both Salieri and Jeanne

Apparently, Mash’s invincibility skill on your Servant isn’t removed when it’s about to use its NP

But his burn debuff can sting like heck if it does outdo your healing per turn on your Servant

Otherwise for both Ruler version, do setup a team to help surviving against the demon god

[thyrideneverends]

3rr32..Su’nup1. ¿W4ht?

Most of the days i get up at 6am.. i dont even need an alarm. I drink a coffee, put on the same videos that i also watch at night over and over again; they used to be funny to me; and now they`re just relaxing.. (kj,ejm.. angryvideogamenerd.. geez, im sorry. ) (Actually i always did that... movies for kids mostly. haha i used to fell asleep hearing Tangled, wreck it ralph, hercules and.. dunno, others. Could be that they sound familiar, the music, happy voices.. the good guy winning. isn`t that calming about life? That no matter what, better days are coming, better times, a future, but is in fact a different present, that awaits you! That is there for you; For you to get there. Don`t forget it`s better... Well I`m not calmed... I don`t think it`s better; I had to fight myself everyday to wake up and work really hard for the moments of “joy” I were part off... I dont even know if I was there at all or just... staring like a fucking dumbass. I guess i was switching, from time to time. I just cant tell how many days i went saying the same stuff to people every day.. and that is ok i guess?, because you choose that, we all do.. we`re terrified! ugh... ) So.. most of the days I get up at 6 am.. drink a coffee .  watch some videos, anything to disrupt silence.  I made myself a routine of exercises that i intend to keep doing for as long as i phisically can. So i do that, it takes an hour at most. I go to work.. my work consists in riding a Motorcicle.. that`s it. Thats all I do.  I mean it is a nice ride tho haha. not gonna lie. Thats great actually. I even feel guilty calling it work, really.  It consumes a lot of hours tho.. I end around 17 pm..  I go home then. Sometimes my mom`s there.. (Well, that human.. I mean she did everything she can.. but it`s not my fault if I don`t see the sparkle mother-son everyone has or feel. I mean for example; if i died tomorrow, of course she would be devastated; Duh’ I`m her son! .. but, even if she knew she could get to know me by reading what I wrote here and there, she wouldn`t. or just by.. listening, asking now. I mean It`s no use being a son, if im not even there in her head.. Im sure of that.. she never cared to know me, but she always brags about how well she does. Im sure im alone there, in her head, as well..) Sometimes I go running before taking a bath, not much, only 2km or so. ( It keeps me active.. I need help from everywhere to sort this fucked up life. Can`t let my body be my dolence... Won`t accept that.. ) when i finish that around 20pm I make a vegetable and fruits juice, sometimes with carrots, spinach, beet, apio.. i mean thats dinner.  21pm im in bed.. it`s 22 pm now, i think i started typing around 21, cant even call it writing.. hhah.. i was so anxious.. i think i feel better now.. (also i think its kinda funny to be outside myself for a little.. like, here.. just typing.. being read, whether im still alive or not. hey if im dead.. on an abandoned tumblr; dont worry anymore.  worry about yourself im having a fucking party down here just chilling and vibing with Chaos, nothingness and entropy BRrrOOooO. im not even human anymore relax; See you next time.  I promise you`ll read more of me when you cross the corner. 

[becuzpurple]

An Ed & Kate One-Shot

This was SO MUCH FUN to write!  It does not fall chronologically within the current main story line, although it can easily take place at almost any time in the not-too-far future or beyond.

I hope you like it!!!

WARNING:  there are smuts.  :-)

I LOVE THE WAY YOU WAKE ME UP

Corpus Christi, TX

A Friday in September (the year doesn’t matter)

We didn’t arrive at our hotel until well after dinner time, and I was so weak with hunger that I thought I’d keel over.  I hadn’t eaten before our flight because I had a nervous stomach.  Not from flying, though.  I was nervous about the following day.

It had been a long time since I had presented at a conference, but the following day I’d be giving two different hour-long talks at the Southwestern and Hispanic Genealogy Conference.  At 10 am I was to give a presentation on Non-Spanish Origin Populations of Northern Mexico. Then after lunch, at 1 pm, I was scheduled to give a talk called Researching Catholic Archives.  The rest of the day would be filled with my attending other presentations and think-tanks, and networking with other genealogists.  I was excited to be back and active in my field, and to be able to spend time with colleagues.  But I was also nervous about presenting.

Ed wouldn’t be attending the conference with me - his presence would likely be a distraction to some of the conference attendees, plus he’d probably be bored out of his mind.  Luckily enough, a former school-friend of his brother from back home actually lives in Corpus Christi.  Greg went to medical school at Baylor in Houston, and is now an anesthesiologist at Driscoll Children’s Hospital in Corpus Christi.  He was able to get the day off of work, so he and Ed planned to catch up with each other while I was busy being a genealogy geek.

We got to our suite - at the same hotel where the conference would be - and quickly cleaned up and ordered room service for dinner.  By the time we were done eating it was late enough that I was ready to collapse into bed.  I set my phone’s alarm for 6:30 the next morning.  I planned to get up early and go over my notes and double-check my Apple Keynote slideshow before my morning presentation.  I also needed time to shower, dress, and eat.  

I felt kind of bad - like I’d be neglecting Ed.  But he assured me that he was happy to be there, even if we wouldn’t see much of each other until dinnertime. A lovely banquet was scheduled that evening for all conference-goers, and Ed would definitely be attending that with me.  In the meantime, he seemed excited for me, and proud, too.  He was also looking forward to meeting up with his childhood family friend.

We were in bed before midnight, both pretty wiped-out from our day of traveling.  We’d flown into Houston and then drove 3 ½ hours to Corpus Christi. All I wanted was to feel him wrapped around me as I drifted off to sleep, and he seemed to be of the same mind.  We climbed into the bed, arranged our covers and pillows, and ourselves into a spooning position.

“Sweet dreams, sweet girl.”  He kissed my temple and rested his chin over my head.

I laced my fingers through his and brought our joined hands up to my lips, kissing the back of his.  

“Goodnight, Teddy.  I love you.”

“Love you, too.  You’re gonna kick ass tomorrow.”

I smiled at his words.

“Well, I don’t know about that.  I just hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

“That won’t happen.  This is what you love, right?  You’ve researched these subjects extensively.  YOU are the expert, here.  You’ll kick ass.”

“Thank-you.  I hope you’re right.”

“I am.”

He kissed my temple again, and then brought his hand under my t-shirt to cup my boob.  He lazily brushed his thumb over my nipple just a couple of times before taking a breath and settling down under our covers.

I closed my eyes, and I think we were both asleep within a minute.

Saturday Morning, about 6am

I had a very vague impression of my bed covers shifting as I slept, but I was still in a deep enough sleep that it didn’t really register with me. I’m sure I just pulled them back up and continued sleeping.  

But then I felt something very soft and very light moving up my thigh, like an itch or a tickle.  It continued, even though I tried to swat whatever it was away.  Somehow, I was still not fully awake.

It stopped over the front of my panties, and left numerous taps and rubs all over that area.  By that time I was stirring a little bit, but still didn’t realize what was actually happening.  It felt nice, though.  Then I felt something else touching me - something not as smooth, but still with a soft touch, was gently moving my legs apart.

Hands.  Hands are on me.  Ed’s hands.  

I was awake then, but was still very groggy.  Behind my still-closed eyes I was trying to work out what was going on.  Ed’s hands were on my thighs.  And something else was pressing down all over the front of my panties.

Oh.  He’s kissing me...OH!

I opened my eyes to find him between my legs.  His fiery hair was right at the apex of my thighs.  I reached a hand down and rumpled it as I watched him through sleepy eyes.

He looked up at me and grinned.  “Good morning, beautiful.”

“What are you doing?”  My voice was scratchy with sleep.

“I’m waking you up,” he answered as he pulled the fabric of my panties to the side.

“Oh…”

He laid one hand across my hip and stomach and brought his full, soft lips around my clit at the same time, leaving a sweet, long, wet kiss.

“Ohhhh…”

I’d barely been awake 20 seconds and I was already so worked up.  My muscles tensed and I struggled to rock into his face, seeking more of his mouth.  But he pressed his hand onto my hip firmly enough to keep me from bucking up.

“Try to relax, sweet girl.”

Well, that��s easier said than done, mister.   “OK.”

The sounds coming from me were something between sighs and moans as he licked me from my opening all the way to my so-sensitive bundle of nerves.  He dipped his tongue into me, in a slow-fuck sort of way.  He was thorough and unhurried and attentive.  He repeated the same lazy, meticulous strokes and dips - over and over and over making me anything but relaxed.

I grabbed a handful of his hair, needing to anchor myself to him somehow, while silently imploring him to PLEASE DON’T STOP.  But he quickly pulled my hand away and laced our fingers together.

Ed likes to talk during intimate moments.  I didn’t know what to think of this when I first realized it’s a thing he does, but it didn’t take long for me to decide that I absolutely LOVE IT.  I can’t even explain exactly why I love it.  It’s just so...Ed.  

Sometimes it’s very loving and romantic.  Sometimes it’s dirty.  Sometimes it’s random and funny.  Sometimes it’s observational.  This time it was...informative.  And dirty, too.  He basically explained exactly what his game-plan was for this specific occasion.

“I’m gonna lick you.”  And he did, thoroughly, from back to front, causing me to moan from all of the sensations flying through my body.  

“And I’m gonna suck on you.”  Which he also did, expertly, making me cry out and try to buck my hips up into him again.  

“I’m gonna kiss you.”  He then lightly dragged his perfect, soft, wet lips all over my other kind of lips, leaving the most gentle caresses in my most delicate places.  It left me trembling.

“And I’m gonna tongue-fuck you.”  Just his words alone almost made me come.  But when he started dipping his tongue into me I really started to lose it.  Over-and-over, his tongue delved into me, bringing on so many tiny earthquakes all through my body.  

“Did you...did you just make a rhyme about this?”

I felt a warm puff of air from his nose at the crease of my thigh as he breathed out a small laugh.  “I’m very...oral.”

“No shit…”

“Gonna make you come with just my mouth.”

“Oh, god…”

And that’s exactly what he did.  He didn’t touch any other part of me except to hold my hips down.  He didn’t touch my boobs.  He didn’t use his fingers anywhere.  Just his mouth in that one place.  Over and over, he licked and sucked and kissed and tongue-fucked me until I was one giant ball of tingling, vibrating energy.  He seemed to have settled on alternating between lazily licking and sucking on my clit, with the occasional dip of his tongue into my dripping wet opening.  I was trembling and moaning and I knew that I wasn’t going to last much longer.

He’d been loving on me so slowly the whole time, causing a very gradual build-up - a slow burn.  When he sensed I was almost there he began flicking the tip of my very sensitive, pink nub so rapidly that that one spot - that tingling bundle of nerves that was radiating beams of pleasure throughout my body - became the center of my existence.  Not a damn thing else mattered.  Everything began and ended with his mouth on my clit.  

“You gonna come, Kate?  Almost there?”

I couldn’t even form words, so I just nodded.

“Come for me now.  Come for me, sweet girl.”

That's all it took.  My entire body first felt strangely cool, then blissfully warm. And then I was seeing stars, even though I think my eyes were closed.  I was flying through space, weightless.  When I finally came down, all I wanted was to lay there forever.  I was so relaxed.  I laid there, eyes closed, with what I’m sure was the most stupid-happy grin on my face, completely blissed-out.

When I finally did open my eyes I saw Ed still between my legs, grinning up at me like he just won the school Spelling Bee.  He was pretty happy with himself. I was pretty happy with him, too.

“God… Best. Wake-up.  Ever.”

“Well, I thought it would be nice, instead of you being startled by your alarm.”  He kissed my belly and laid his head on it, cheek down.

I gently ran my hand through his hair and replied, “Thank-you.  I love the way you woke me up.”

We were quiet for a few minutes, just tangled into each other.  His head was still on my belly and I had one knee leaning on his back.  I was brushing circles over his shoulders and upper back when I wasn’t playing with his hair.

“Sooo, you ready for today, then?”

I grinned.  “Yeah.  I’m feeling good about it.”

“Good.  You’ll smash it.”  

Then he grinned wickedly at me and blew a raspberry on my belly.  I might have shrieked...and accidentally kneed him in the ribs.

I gasped in horror, quickly sat up, and covered my mouth with both hands as he doubled over on the bed.

“Oh my god...oh my god, are you OK?”

“Ow!”  He looked up at me with a very surprised, slightly alarmed expression on his face.  “Didn’t see that coming…”

“I’m SO SORRY...I really didn’t mean to do that.”

But then he sat up and was full-on smirking at me.  “So, you’re saying it was a...knee-jerk reaction, then?”

I stared at him for the few seconds it took me to realize that he was absolutely FINE, and was just messing with me.

My eyebrows went up in surprise.  “You’re OK?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.  “I’m fine.”

“Uggghhhh!”  I shook my head in mock-disappointment.  “WHAT am I going to do with you?”

“Umm…-”  I could tell by the look on his face that he definitely had some ideas about what ‘I could do with him’.”

“OK, hold that thought.  Unfortunately, I can’t do anything now - I have to get ready.  Tonight, though.  After the banquet.  Whatever you want.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded, grinning softly.  “Yeah.  Anything.”

“You’re the best, baby!” he said in the most cornball voice ever.

I shrugged, still smiling.  “Yeah, well...kicking you in the ribs aside...that’s pretty much true.”

the same morning, about 10:30 am

Conference Room E

The topic I was presenting is extremely specific, and appeals to only a small portion of those who research Hispanic genealogy.  There aren’t too many people looking into the non-Spanish origin populations in northern Mexico.  But those who were looking or interested were at my presentation.  There were about 20 or so people seated in the room we were assigned to, which was about twice as many as I had expected, to be honest.  I was pleased with the turnout.  They seemed pleased with the information I was sharing.  It was going really well.

At about halfway through the session, I saw the door open, and a familiar figure quietly slipped into the room.  He wore a baseball cap and a hoodie in an attempt to hide his most recognizable feature.  No one but me saw him come in, though, since I was the only person facing the back of the room.  He found a chair against the back wall, near the door.

I was in the middle of speaking when I saw him, and paused, slightly shocked, for only the quickest split-second before continuing.  He smiled and stuck his tongue out at me.

He stayed for the rest of the session.

Once my allotted hour was up, and my presentation ended, the room quickly emptied, with only a few people staying behind with specific questions.  There wasn’t another session scheduled in that room, so I could take my time with them, and not have to rush out.

Ed remained in the back of the room, waiting patiently for me.  He was looking through a copy of the hand-out I made up for everyone at my session.

Finally, I’d finished answering everyone’s questions.  I packed up my things as the last few people left.

“Hey,” I grinned as I walked towards him and the door.  

He stood as I approached, with a small smile.  He looked...impressed.  It wasn’t a sentiment I was very used to seeing very often - at least, not regarding my work, since he wasn’t up-to-date with the specifics of what I do.

I stopped right in front of him.  He gestured at the hand-out he was still holding. “Was this... you did all of the research for this yourself, yeah?”

I nodded.  “Yeah, I did.  Why do you ask?”

“Wow.  You are so...GOOD at this.  This is a hell of a lot of work, here. And then you put it all together in such a logical, clear-cut presentation… You obviously love what you’re doing, and you’re amazing at it.  I’m...I love seeing this side of you.”  

I put my hands up over his shoulders.  “Thank-you.  That means a lot, to hear you say that...to know that’s what you’re thinking.  I’m really lucky to be doing something that I love.”  I paused and looked up at him thoughtfully.  “But, you know what that’s like - doing something you love?”

He looked at me so seriously...solemnly.  “I do.  And I’m thankful for it every day.  We’re both fortunate in that way, aren’t we?  I think we create our own ‘luck’, though, through hard work.  We earn our happiness, our successes...but, anyway...”  He shook his head as if he was slightly embarrassed by what he’d just said.

“Sorry,” he smiled softly.  “I didn’t mean to turn things so serious.  I’m just...I’m really proud of you.”

I glanced at the door to make sure it was closed (it was), and I let my shoulder bag holding all of my materials slip to the floor.  I placed both of my hands on his cheeks.

“Baby, you are the most talented, hardest-working person I’ve ever met - by far. And for you to say you’re proud of me?  That’s the best compliment you could possibly ever give me.  Thank-you.”

And then I kissed him, slow, trying to show him I meant every word I’d said.

“God I love you, Kate.  It’s my absolute honor to wake up with you every day.”

I was almost tearing-up at what he’d said.  Blinking, I replied.  “I feel the same way.”  And then I grinned and raised an eyebrow.  “And I love the way you wake me up, too!”

He laughed and then kissed me again.  When we parted lips, he glanced around the room for a few seconds, and then focused his eyes back on me.

“We just had a ‘moment’ in a...conference room, didn’t we?”

I nodded, grinning.  “Yeah...”

He kissed the top of my head, but then as his eyes came back to my face they grew large and he checked his watch.

“Oh, I’m late.  Greg is probably waiting for me.”

“Go - have fun!  I should be done here by 4:30.  Umm, dinner is at 6...so, meet back in our room?”

“Yes, love.  I’ll be back by 4:30, too.”

We parted at the door with one more quick kiss - he headed  to the main lobby and I in the opposite direction to another presentation that I’d been very interested in checking out.

I was a few minutes late, but I still paused for a moment before entering the room.  My head and my heart were still with Ed.  In an empty conference room in a hotel in Corpus Christi, Texas.