#and i found something i'm passionate about again i love tennis sm ๐ซถ
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I feel so lucky
#even though i often rant to complain here#i never imagined my life to be this good as it is now ๐ฅน#i have almost everything i ever wished for#i sometimes switch between this and feeling alone like no one gets me ๐
#like sometimes i feel like i should be so grateful but also that doesn't mean everything is awesome#often i feel like no one sees my struggles from the people i'm close to#because everyone always thinks things are easy for me like when it comes to university or because i appear so happy#it feels lonely sometimes but anyways#like they don't know the expectations people especially my family have for me even tho they don't say it normally sometimes it comes through#anyways i do have a lot to be grateful#i never had such a good relationship with my parents ๐ฅบ it's not perfect but it feels so much more normal like it should be#and i have so many friends and people i get on at uni and my sports it's amazing ๐ฅน#i never thought that would be me it's like a dream :))) i struggled so much with anxiety#i was so scared to even speak to someone a few years ago ๐
#it makes the experience so pleasant i also enjoy uni <3#(altough i still think of adding something to my major to give me more options but also i think i would like it)#my grades are good no worries of failing classes anymore atm (altough i will still worry ๐)#i even get great grades with minimal effort (though this one is only partly good as it encourages laziness haha)#and i found something i'm passionate about again i love tennis sm ๐ซถ#when i play i'm so happy and it gives me drive to become rly good at it even though it's not like i wanna become pro or sth. haha#it would be too late for that anyway lol tho ofc it'd be great but i just enjoy the challenge and seeing progress it's so rewarding ๐#and tennis with friends >>#i also like football :) and it feels like the void ski jumping left behind is finally getting filled :')#like when gregor retired i kind of lost my love for the sport and yeah it's sad but i'm glad i have sth again ๐ฅน#also the freedom i have i could never have imagined#i could just go on a little trip with friends if i wanted to and i talked about this with a friend and i got so excited abt it ๐ฅบ๐๐#to have the possibility to just travel when i want to :))#i earned some money from (mostly summer) jobs these last years and it's great#and i can just get myself whatever i want mostly (i don't want crazy things)#and my family is much better off i guess that doesn't hurt either
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