#and i firmly believe a lot of ppl aren’t reading what i put at the bottom

[goldensunset]

ok so the WIPs post is going to kill me

[doelet444]

sui ideation tw | I absolutely don’t mean to be triggering if this may be sensitive for you, if so please skip this read.

These past 5 years have been very painful and things aren’t going to get better. I have been weighing in on if it’s really worth it, and it’s not, but I stay because I don’t want to hurt my mom and the few people left in my life. Living with schizo-affective bipolar, panic disorder, endometriosis, immunodeficiency, pots, chronic fatigue, gastroperesis, nerve damage throughout my body that has caused a multitude of problems, I’m worried I may have stomach cancer and am going in for an endoscopy in 5 days, have been in severe pain for months. The endometriosis and the cysts, the intense chest pains and heart attack scares from pots, my stomach issues, my psychiatric issues & psychosis, have all put me in the hospital multiple times and when I’m not in a crisis I’m rotting in bed. I went from being a physically very healthy kid to a 22 year old in a wheelchair so fast.

They always say “it gets better, don’t give up” there are ups and downs, but I have been suffering from panic attacks since I was little, depression began at age 9-10, I have been persistently struggling for more than half my life, circumstances progressively and rapidly worsening. People who say “it gets better” may have not been in a major depressive episode for 5, 10, years or even decades straight. I have been heavily medicated since i was 15 and I can say my depression is completely treatment resistant. I have tried every method under the sun aside from electroconvulsive therapy. It hasn’t gone away no matter what I’ve done, my illness is parasitically ingrained into my DNA, which is why I’m a bit of an antinatalist, anyway, My brain is fried and foggy from all the meds, I’m a zombie but utterly unstable and experience severe withdrawal without them (thanks big pharma)

It frustrates me when ppl say “they took the easy way out” or “they were a complete coward to do that” but a lot of people genuinely wait years deciding and weighing in all of their years of physical, emotional and psychological pain, logically knowing it will be like this for the rest of their life, and decide to free themselves of it all. I absolutely do not advocate for it, but I empathize so much and would never blame victims. Not everyone who commits is delusional-y impulsive and selfish about it as people try to make it out to be.

Having bipolar, even when I’m having stable day, I always have the guarantee that it will always become significantly worse and stability does not last. Knowing that often puts me in a persistent sense of dread and anxiety, I don’t feel that I can ever be at peace. it’s just how living with the illness is.

Living through this I’ve firmly come to believe one of two things, either god isn’t real, or if god exists, he is an incredibly cruel entity.

To be clear this isn’t me saying goodbye or anything, I just really, really wish I was gone. I’ll keep living until it’s my time but this is exhausting. Apologies for sounding so un-demure I’m just feeling like, actually really really bad lately.

[churkey]

I recently got a comment on a fic that was critical, which doesn't bother me.

What did make me pause were the comments about possible triggers. But then I went to check the tags and I had some or all of the things the person mentioned. Perhaps not to the degree and manner they thought I should... but it was a weird moment for me.

I'm a big fan of trigger warnings and doing your best to give appropriate warnings. It's just that I was having a moment where I... disagreed with their interpretation of what tags/warnings, exactly, ought to be there.

It's one of the stories I've done that had a lot of mixed reactions. Some people read it the way I wrote it and lots didn't. Which is okay. I mostly tried to stay out of the comments of people who read it in ways that I found unexpected or were contrary to what I intended.

Mostly because the author is dead, right? Once you put something out there, ppl will read and interpret it however they like. And this might even change over time!

Anyway. Part of the reason I'm writing this particular post is to... idk, let other people know that it's okay to disagree with some ppl's interpretations of your story. That it's not necessarily a moral failure on your part if ppl understand something you wrote in unexpected ways.

Do your best. I promise it's good enough. Consider what the person said and make the decision you can live with.

I know it really sucks to find out that something you made hurt/triggered someone else. But it's not always your fault or even something you can always prevent. Given the vast diversity of people and experiences, it's literally impossible to ensure that no one will be triggered or harmed in some way.

Try and don't stop trying. Giving up because it seems impossible (or is actually impossible) is pretty much the only thing you shouldn't do.

(Note: This post isn't about works or ideas that perpetuate systems of oppression. I'm talking about triggers which aren't the same thing. They can be related and overlap, of course. I firmly believe that it's possible to create without perpetuating oppression. We need our imaginations, afterall, to envision futures where everyone is free and able to live with dignity. It's hard, for sure, and certainly not something I've succeeded at, but again, do your best and be willing to learn how to do better. It's good enough.)

[linked-fountain]

Any HCs for Time or Legend?

(Or just your favorite boy I love hearing ppl HCs for all of them)

Oh I can do all threeヾ(≧▽≦*)o (bc i love rambling, thanks)

Time->

-Demiace n Bisexual, as he should be<3

-Actually knows a lot of songs to play on his ocarina. Mostly bar songs but the boys don't need to know that;)

-The type to take care of bugs in the house. Gently.

-I know he had closure with Saria but he never had closure with Mido, which i KNOW he was an ass to him but can we please talk about how he thought he could go back to the forest and tell Mido about his adventure? Anyways, Thinking about Mido makes Time's heart hurt.

-Loves vanilla flavor, in anything. Malon came up with vanilla milk and it was the only thing he drank in WEEKS.

-On top of that, he loves Ice Cream<3

-For voice HC, If you have heard Stoick's voice that's exactly what I think Time sounds like. Fatherly, strong but not scary, with the scottish accent n everything.

Legend->

-The type to go away flying if you push him. War's pushed him once in playful manner and sent Legend stumbling.

-See also: Is very light on his feet.

-Knows how to play the piano, discovered once when in the Milk Bar and continued doing it ever since.

-Not only he came heartbroken from Koholint he also got horribly sunburnt. Zero wins there.

-I know people put him as the fashionista bc of Hytopia but did everyone see the costumes? The guy has atrocious fashion sense, garbage disposal walking<3 Tho sometimes, hes the Depressed Librarian™ I mean vests and formal wear tshirts, lots of earthy colors. He has many looks.

-To the surprise of no one, He and Fable? Siblings.

-Four, Wild and Legend def gush about different languages. As in, He learned Sheikah in exchange of teaching Wild another language.

-I just KNOW he has a british accent. Like, Chase from Clown Depot but hes british, thats how I think he sounds.

Hyrule->

-I kind of, like the HC that Hyrule is just a little bit strange in Cryptic way.

-Has lots of scars that sometimes are there and sometimes they aren't. Idk how to explain it but trust me on this.

-Has a "beauty mark" which are those melatonin dark dots. He has two on the arms and one on his neck <3

-aromantic n pan bby!!!!

-Aurora confessed to him and he panicked bc "oh god oh fuck someone likes me n i cant reciprocate" but they talked it out and everything is alright between them.

-Loves cuddling, he feels safe and warm.

-Actually likes jewelry, specially gold jewelry, but doesnt wears it because of obvious reasons. Is all kept safe in a box in the castle tho.

-Since his hair is very curly, he has to keep a brush and special hair cream on him all the time so it doesnt get all knotted.

-I read one fic where he was always by Time's side without realizing bc Time had the Great Fairy Mask and well, Hyrule being a fairy. So yknow what? Yeah, Hyrule feels safe with Time bc fairy boys feel safe with other fairy boys.

-On Time's topic, I like to think that when Hyrule was very young, he was being raised by people that lived in the Temple of Time. He doesn't know tho, until they stumble by their ruins and Time says it.

-Idk why, but I like the idea of Hyrule knowing ancient songs in other languages.

-Leaving all of that behing, I firmly believe he sounds like John Mulaney lmao.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Friends to Lovers with Tony Stark

Tony Stark x reader

warnings:

a/n: i make bad decisions and then write immediately after, hope this didn’t absolutely suck

prompt: anonymous: “Headcanons going from best friends to lovers with Tony Stark”

meeting one another way back in the day, children on wildly weathly businessmen

actually forced to play together while your parents were in business meetings

you ended up resenting each other

mostly because every time you had to see each other, it got boring really fast

and your parents shit talked his parents constantly so you accepted that it should just be that way

YEARS later you and him reconnected when you attended MIT

“son of a bitch, what are the odds? tony goddamn stark”

“the odds aren’t in our favor, i guess”

not only were the two of you in assigned seats for the semester, you were also lab partners

but then you realized that you two were feuding for no reason and you actually enjoyed each others company

in this setting, your friendship thrived

“dude, i cant believe that we spent our entire childhood despising each other”

“yeah, y/n, you really missed out. i’m a motherfucking pleasure”

“oh, shut up, tony!”

pulling all nighters because the two of you get distracted by each others presence often

“y/n, try and catch the popcorn in your mouth. say ‘aaaahh’”

“oh, shit. wait, okay. ahhhhh” *throws popcorn and hits your eye* “wait, one more time!”

some wild nights on the town, occasionally stumbling back to your dorms after a few too many drinks

sometimes tony goes out on his own and calls you when he can’t make it home

“hh-ey se—” *burps* “sexy. could you maybeee, i dunno, i need some. some help getting home”

“same place as last time?”

“yeahh, that’s the place.” *hic* “im gonna throw up”

“i have the bucket in my backseat”

and yeah, he calls you sexy when he’s drunk, you just deal with it

he also forgets his keys a lot so thats a whole other mission for you

being bored as hell on school breaks because you have to go back to your families and hear them complain about one another (and ofc report back and make fun of your dramatic ass parents)

but one day you got a call from tony over winter holiday and you were excited to hear his voice until it seemed a little shaky

“hey? everything alright?”

“not...not really. i’ve got some bad news. really bad news...”

he could barely get his words out after that, but he told you his parents had been in an accident

you immediately left your house and drove hours to go see tony, this was his moment of need

mysteriously not long after that, your parents suffered a similar fate

the two of you took over your companies and had much more reasonable meetings, a wonderful partnership, indeed

but you were still two childish idiots at times

you’d bring each other to parties and shit

“you guys have met y/n, right? my date?”

“yep, this is tony, my date”

ongoing joke

ofc you two have done some shit on dares

i firmly believe tons of ppl have dared you guys to make out and who are y/n l/n and tony stark to turn down a good dare?

“what’s he taste like?”

“those goddamn blueberries he’s always eating”

he always has snacks always

several headlines have been speculation on whether or not you two are dating

tony drives you around tons

wants to “show you a good time”

blasting music while speeding down the road

honestly? sharing hotel rooms just bc you feel safer together

especially after he disappeared for so long

“oh my god, tony, i was worried sick abouy you”

“have you written my obituary yet? i gotta read it before i do anything else. how will i be remembered?”

“shut up and give me a hug, you asshole”

playfully making fun of each other

him showing you his “greatest creation” which was a battle suit (which was actually pretty badass)

“i want one”

“no way, this is my baby. you cant have my baby. unless you wanna have my baby” *wink wink*

ah, pepper likes when you’re around bc you distract tony from her and get him back on his work

and happy likes you because tony’s less paranoid around you

you’re like his second bodyguard but you dont get paid

CANT forget rhodey he cant stand you only bc you remind him of tony

but overall you’re alright

you CANNOT HELP but laugh at tony when he does something unfathomably stupid!!!!

even if hes in immediate danger you sometimes cant stop laughing (but that might just be panic.)

as the avengers came up, you weren’t invited on that “business trip” >:(

instead you got to accompany pepper on some stark/l/n business and ended up seeing tony nearly die on live tv

the second you saw him again, you couldn’t tell if you were happy or furious to see him

“you son of a bitch, stark! you had me so worried that you weren’t gonna make it, i might as well kill you myself! don’t ever do something so stup—”

tony kissed you

but like, for real

not as a joke

it seemed right, so you kissed back

“yeah, i missed you, too. can we go get some dinner and catch up?”

“wait, that was..?”

“long overdue, i know”

wasn’t long before the tabloids got ahold of some more “tony x y/n” content

and the lovely rumor was confirmed at a press conference!

“mr. stark, is it true that you and y/n l/n have an official relationship?”

“hell yeah, it’s true! you heard here first, folks! y/n and i are an item! and i fuckin’ love them!”

you made the cover of 5 different magazines 😌

you supported tony on his adventures but you wanted in

“really, after what happened in new york? well, i guess you saving my life on the battlefield would be kind of hot...sure. we’ll give it a shot”

“nuh-uh, tony. i’m in whether you like it or not!”

“that’s why i love you, you do it all. even when i don’t want you to”

engineering your own tech for yourself and others to help on missions

you did surprisingly well

tony had some issues that needed resolving though...like flirting during fights

“wow, y/n, you look great from this angle” *gets hit by some projectile*

“hah! serves you right!”

seriously, you guys were an iconic couple

and it helped that you guys were already so comfortable with each other, the two of you knew exactly what the other was thinking, it was baffling that you guys didn’t actually have powers

but tony was still tony and he had a problem putting you in danger, he was most comfortable with his arm around you

avengers parties and other dealings kept you busy busy busy

but you always made time for one another

and had tons of fun wherever you could

one might even say you and tony were...endgame (im so sorry)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[bigskydreaming]

Hey, so ppl who have followed me awhile, you know how occasionally I toss out random concepts as like, just general prompts because they were a thing that happened in my brain and I thought they were a cool idea but have no time/plans to write them ever so I’m always like....dude, run with it if it sparks something for you?

So due to my physiological incompatibility with Being Subtle Ever and my many many rants on how much it annoys me when people who openly state they’re not a survivor themselves then go on to share writing that clearly views Law & Order SVU as viable Research Material like....its not exactly a shocker that I’m a big believer in the idea that there are just some stories that some people aren’t meant to write. Like full stay in your lane premises, stories where it doesn’t matter how thoroughly or sincerely you research experiences outside your own - its just not your story to write.

And occasionally I also definitely come up with novel ideas that fall in this category. Some even make it all the way to extensively plotted/worldbuilt stages of outlining before I clue in that the basic premise is just unworkable for ME, due to my specific axes of identity....like sometimes I just really love an idea and so try and workshop it and come at it from a different angle that is more approachable for me....but ultimately, there have been a number of times when I’ve just had to put aside even a really in depth world or idea because it was just too innately connected in my head to various lived experiences or cultural identities that I don’t feel comfortable writing towards.

Like for example, years ago I plotted out this one YA novel idea that’s like....historical sci-fi, ‘alienpunk’ - like the basic idea was what if a First Contact scenario with aliens coming to Earth happened, but in the 19th century, like late 1800s. Steampunk style aesthetics, but instead of it being ahead-of-its-time steam powered technology, it was the anachronistic results of combining advanced alien technology with early or mid-Industrial Age science.

The thing was, despite trying out various different eras or locations, the story that kept coming out in outline was pretty firmly centered in America in the late 1800s, and like, it would be a huge glaring omission for ME to write that story and not have any black characters or acknowledge the social aspects of it being set during a post-Civil War era, and like...that’s not really For Me to write IMO.....and so as much as I loved the general idea, I felt pretty strongly that as it was, it just wasn’t a story I needed to write, when I have plenty more that are much more based out of my own lanes.

And to be clear, the story isn’t ABOUT slavery, that was never the issue, its not thematically built around related concepts, nothing like that. Its a sci-fi ‘aliens came to Earth and shit inevitably happened both because Aliens and also because People’ adventure....that is also historical fiction, with the era in question being post-Civil War America. Its just a story SET during that time, because that was the way it unfolded for me and I couldn’t get it to click creatively any other way. But still, its just disingenuous to pretend that any story set during that era doesn’t have a ton of room for expansion or commentary or bringing in more themes - with me just not being the right author to do that. Not my place, it just is what it is, and I’m wholly fine with that.

Anyway, my point with all this is I have a pretty sizable number of basic premises and even full outlines along those ‘nope, this isn’t actually for me after all’ lines that I’ve set aside over the years because like....my brain literally never shuts off and I write a fucking lot lot lot. And I do think a lot of them are pretty good ideas that someone could make some really fun stories out of, because I’m biased and occasionally do manage to love myself, like yeah, I do write good shit if I say so myself. But given that I’m not that person to write those particular stories, like I’d love to offer them up to other writers who might be interested in doing something with them.

And again just to be total clear - I am very much an ‘any time I say do whatever the fuck you want with this, I really mean it’ kinda guy. These would come with zero strings or expectations. If you like one of these ideas and want the outline or notes I made for it, its yours to do whatever the fuck you want with. Stick to the outline, don’t stick to it, just run with the basic premise, use the notes as a springboard to launch your own creativity into entirely new directions that didn’t even occur to me - sky’s the limit, have at it, I wouldn’t ask for or expect any compensation or official credit or royalties or whatever the fuck, not the point of this. Literally my only request would be like, hey, if you finish something off of one of these and do something with it, maybe gimme a shout out in the acknowledgments section and drop me a copy when you’re done because literally every story idea I’ve ever had, I’ve had it because at the end of the day its a story I want to read so....I’d definitely want to read whatever you come up with lol, but its YOUR story at that point. No hidden strings or whatever, you can cite this post as your official proof of that if needed I guess? Idk, its all pretty bullshit to me. God, I’m a publisher’s worst nightmare.

But I mean, the entire reason I didn’t ever write any of these specific stories and don’t think I ever will is because I quite literally don’t think I’m the right person to write them which means I quite literally believe there’s a metric fuck ton of people who could write them better than me and do things with them I never could and would never even occur to me, so like...lmfao, please don’t worry that I’m gonna be sitting here ever thinking like ugh how dare they not stick to my outline and notes and think they knew how to write this idea better than me. Like, you can. I want you to. That’s the whole point.

So yeah, basically the endpoint of all this rambling is if any writers out there would be interested in this kinda thing, drop me a reply or a reblog or even just an ask with what you think is a good way to handle that. 

Like, I was thinking just whenever I’m thinking about one of them I’d maybe make a post (maybe tagged with a specific tag I use as a catch-all for any one of these ‘up for grabs’ outlines) about the general idea or a couple of the characters I came up with and a list of the kind of materials I wrote out for that story and their extent, like does that one have a full outline, is it more just worldbuilding and character notes, etc. And if someone’s interested or is like “oh I read this and it totally gave me all these ideas for what to do with a story like that” or whatever, just hit me up and first come first serve, the full file is yours. 

But like, that’s just my ‘puts the lazy in laissez-faire,’ pulled it out of my ass two seconds ago idea for how to approach this, so if anyone has a better or more coherent idea, or even just a thought for what to tag this kinda thing, I’m all ears.

(Just final additional disclaimers: I’m super duper aggressively not interested in being like ‘mmmm, lemme judge your writing first and pick whomever I think is the Most Qualified To Write Mine Idea Properly’ like eww, gross, and similarly I have no desire to ask for identity credentials.  Like if you’re a white writer and you read all of this and hit me up about a story I say I decided not to write because its heavily influenced by Mesoamerican cultures to a degree that I was like, I personally don’t feel anyone but a Latinx writer needs to be profiting off this story - I mean, you could definitely be like ‘oh I’m Latinx’ y’know, like a liar, and I’d be like okay sure, and if it ends up published later and I’m like hey I recognize that story and hey that author is as white as me, like.....you could do that I guess, and that’s a thing that could happen and like....that’s between you and your own choices and reasoning at that point and if you’re comfortable with that I mean, you do you, just be aware I probably think you’re an asshole then. C’est la vie. The world will keep turning.)

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

hi there, i was wondering if you help me type myself. i used to type as a enfp, but i retook the the test like a couple months ago and tried to be more realistic ab myself and i got entp. that was sufficient enough for me but i tend to hyper-fixate on concepts that intrigue me bc i wanna know all ab it and stuff. i took another test from the personality hacker (the others were 16personalities) and i got intj consistently 1/5

im a perfectionist and when i have a vision for a project, i have the work ethic to execute it details and all. when i plan something i have one overarching plan then several contingency plans for that plan then alternatives to those plans. my therapist says i live too much in the future, i don’t appreciate what i have today bc i’m too busy planning tomorrow, that i don’t accept things for what they are bc i’m pondering what they could/should be or i think too deeply ab superficial stuff 2/5

i get hunches all the time, like i took one look at my friend and knew that he had just lost his virginity bc he acted diff from his norm. the answer could’ve been anything but ik it was sex (i was right). surprising me is difficult bc i usually get hunches that something is up. i over analyze everything and i cannot take things at face value. rules have to be logical for me otherwise i’ll critique them. i don’t like authority but like to always be in control (???) 3/5

i don’t like expressing my feelings and prefer to suppress them and deal with them on my own. at the same time i’m usually the shoulder my friends cry on and i’m pretty nurturing. i’m charismatic and good at reading nonverbal cues. i’m pretty friendly and warm and ppl generally like me but i don’t think this is my real personality (think customer service) and when i’m in social mode too long, i need to be alone otherwise i get irritable. ppl often are surprised by how quiet and serious i am 4/5i think ppl can be a lil too emotional, esp in work or debates. i don’t like conflicts but i love to argue. sometimes i wish ppl could disconnect from their feelings as easily as I can. i’m pretty blunt but i believe in tact. i often feel a lotta things to be common sense and when i express this ppl are usually shocked. ppl frustrate me when they aren’t efficient, try to boss me around, refuse to argue their beliefs, are illogical. when i loop, i isolate myself and stay in my head. 5/5

------------------

Hi anon,

I am leaning towards ENTP.

Part 1: tests suck and honestly if someone doesn’t get INTJ on a free MBTI test I start to wonder what their deal is. Literally everyone gets INTJ. It’s bullshit.

Part 2: having a plan and living too much in the future without focusing on what you have now are most commonly associated with high Ni, but Ni is also not in my experience as good at contingencies. I would rule out high Se, but either high Si (planning and contingencies) or high Ne would be possible. Your writing style reminds me more of Si-Ne users and particularly high Ne users as does the statement of thinking very deeply about superficial stuff, so I’m putting a pin in that for now.

Part 3: most people get hunches - I’ve had some seriously strong (and correct) ones in my life and my intuition is last, because those hunches require an understanding of changed sensory signs typically (eg: weird behavior triggers the idea that something is up and then you can reason your way through what might be going on). However, frequently trusting hunches without waiting for confirmation is more consistent with intuition.

For the part regarding rules this is a case where examples are absolutely crucial. I spend a lot of my time at work arguing with high Ti users, for example, and both of us firmly feel we’re being the logical and efficient one, so it’s hard to do any typing with out understanding. Not liking authority but liking being in control sounds more like it could come from enneagram, but also it would be consistent with either ENFP or ENTP.

Part 4: Being private emotionally is also somewhat dependent on other factors - both Ne-dom types actually can be very private emotionally in my experience, which is where I’m leaning at this point. I think it’s also worth looking into what sort of balance you need regarding people; I don’t typically find Ne-aux types to be super nurturing, and everyone needs some time alone so it’s worth considering that part outside of MBTI; plenty of extroverts under the MBTI system are fairly close to the middle when it comes to actual alone time requirements.

Part 5: Not liking conflict but liking to argue is often a hallmark of high Ti, and again, it’s really important to understand what people mean by efficiency. For example: Te users are perfectly happy to brute force a solution if it’s an urgent problem/one-time issue, because in their mind, the efficient thing is to get it done when it’s needed and a little busywork is fine as it saves a lot of time designing the perfect system. Ti users don’t think this way typically; they see most brute force solutions as inherently inefficient because they can’t be reused. (apologies for some of my notes on high Ti; today was a particularly difficult Te vs. Ti argument day at work)

With regards to looping: if you don’t have a confident typing of your baseline, I really do not believe it’s possible to reliably type what your loop behavior is. Which isn’t to say that you’re wrong about your stress behavior - withdrawing and overanalyzing is very common stress behavior and I would say it’s extremely likely and understandable in fact for an ENTP under stress - it’s just not a loop in the very narrow MBTI definition.

[phanbliss]

i'm asking out of a place of wanting to understand, so please don't assume i am accusing you or attacking you, but regarding a post you reblogged recently, it was an ask where templeofshame claimed that if dnp weren't together it would be kind of like "baiting" us but i really don't think that's fair? they haven't EVER said or pretended to be in a closeted relationship, only been friends that joke a bit about their occasionally romantic tendencies, i have friends who think me pt.1

this ask is long due to there being several messages, so i’m putting it under a cut. the post in question: x

me and my best friend are together when we’re really not. we’ve said so, but eventually just stopped denying the claim while occasionally joking about it. i think its unfair of us to act like they owe us something? they don’t owe us a “coming out” (i agree with op tho that coming out has issues of it own, but its the most relevant term) neither do they have to tell us if they aren’t together. 

however we perceive their relationship is our business, and as long as we aren’t toxic about it pt. 2  then really we shouldn’t care about ppl calling us “silly shippers” cause shipping them isn’t weird or rude, i, myself, truly believe they are together, but i don’t think that they owe us anything. they are real people with their own complex lives that we may not understand, heck, that THEY may not understand and they are just living their truth. for whatever reason, they may feel that they don’t want to tell people that they’re in a relationship (if they are in one) pt. 3but neither do they feel the need to (and in my opinion, shouldn’t feel the need to) explain and clarify their status to us.

 it isn’t in any way baiting or manipulation. if we decide to invest our lives and our time into writing fanfics and making art then that is our choice! they are obviously fine with it so long as it isn’t shoved in their faces, but they don’t owe us clarification, maybe i’m misunderstanding something, i just don’t think it’s fair to say that they are being manipulative pt.4simply by being themselves? 

they are their own people with their own reasons for keeping private or not telling us. they have never pretended like phan is real, have even denied it in the past, never made merch or something that has catered to shippers specifically. they have simply let us be (even if dan was quite rude about it before, but i believe he has improved a lot over the years) and made some quips about it. they choose to share parts of their lives with us and however pt5 the phandom reacts to that is our “issue”. 

in summary, i believe that it is unfair to say that if they aren’t together it means we have been baited and manipulated and “wasted our time” because i really don’t think that’s fair to the good times we have had while shipping them. they are real people that owe us nothing about their private lives and can hide or reveal as much or as little as they want. i do believe that some people DO “queerbait” irl, especially ytbrs, but dnp have never pt.6acted fake or overly romantic to seem like they’re in love, their bond, in my opinion is genuine, and whatever we read into that is valid, but it doesn’t mean that they owe us an explanation. 

i think i should end this now, but before i go, know that i do NOT intend this to be a dig at anyone, just wanted to share my perspective and ask your opinion about what i’ve just shared. i just see ppl acting like dnp could qb us and it kind of makes me think. have a nice day, take care, peace out! end 

ooof anon, i appreciate that you sent this to me, but i’m really not the right person for it! i’m not one of the smart people in this fandom, nor one of the cool ones, so discussing things with me over anon is not as fun and rewarding as sending an ask to one of the popular people haha. but i’ll reply with my thoughts anyway!

we’ve had discussions about this on IDB before and my opinion hasn’t changed since the last time i said anything on this subject.

TO BEGIN WITH:  i in no way believe they are consciously encouraging the shipping to make money. they are two people in a long term relationship that navigate a difficult world of being queer, being popular and trying to stay private.

1) “me and my friend” - while i definitely appreciate and understand that, we have to try to not compare dnp to ourselves if we want to make a proper point. i could say that me and my friend x haven’t talked in 2 years but i still consider them a friend, which doesn’t mean that it’s the norm for everyone - same goes for the “me and my friend” arguments concerning dnp. i don’t mean you necessarily, i mean things i’ve seen over the years. “me and my friend always say i love you! we live together! we spend all our time together! we’re platonic!” - that’s awesome but it doesn’t mean anything about dnp

2) i don’t think @templeofshame acted like dnp owe us anything. i took it more as like at this point, dnp admitting to having been platonic this whole time (lol i’m laughing while typing this) would have been a form of queerbaiting. templeofshame never said they owe us a “coming out” or anything like that

3) you have to remember that their audience is largely queer. to a lot of the younger fans, they are some sort of role models and maybe even eye-openers when it comes to their [fans’] own sexuality. they are most likely aware of this and definitely accept it.

4) the biggest thing i guess i should explain is why i believe that them having been platonic this whole time would have been some form of queerbaiting and… and there is no way to put it while still being nice? so forgive me, this is my opinion and i’m not trying to start drama.

they DEFINITELY benefit off phan. they have since the start (or at least dan). back in their younger days, people didn’t really ship them as much as assume they were a couple, that’s how they behaved and most people would jump to that conclusion. when shit hit the fan (vday + general life stress) and dan started lashing out, shipping got real hard. and dnp could have left it there, could have left shipping as that elephant in the room that we’re not allowed to mention, but no

slowly, gradually, they went back to accepting shipping. they haven’t denied anything in years and in many ways they encourage it. and really, no one will make me believe that they - as in the joint brand of dan and phil - would be as popular as they are without the shipping. lots of people watch them for their chemistry and hear of them through phan. they themselves no longer shy away from it - see tatinof fanfic scenes, their fanfics in tabinof, all sorts of things i’m too tired to mention - lots of recent things from this year.

so yeah, i believe they are very aware of phan and accept it, and if they accepted it while being two bros in ~other relationships~ or ~perpetually single~ then yeah, i would feel it’s wrong. not because they said something outright but because 9+ years of certain behaviors are as good as admitting to it. 

they are basically out at this point, both as not being straight and being a couple, and i’m happy they got there on their own terms.

bottomline - i firmly believe they’re together and all that is missing is an actual confirmation - which we don’t ‘need’ - but if they weren’t together, we’d be right to be upset by this point.

idk if this answered your ask but i’m really tired and as i said, i’m dumb so you’re better off asking someone cooler than me hah :)

[dreamilyenchantingwasteland]

This was too long for Twitter.

[Tweet: I fucking hate when ppl share graphic animal cruelty stuff on facebook like seeing an animal brutalized makes me physically sick]

@oneunaccountedfor​ said: I've had this argument internally so many times, also about the horrors of war and military action. Ultimately I think I'm with y'all, that it's not good to force such imagery on people. It can feel so goddamn hopeless and desperate though when people are so defiantly ignorant and wicked on account of their ignorance. I want everyone to be horrified of these things—but brutal imagery just makes them horrified of me and the immediate. It doesn't create understanding. It's not a real lesson. I mean, in principle I'm not opposed to harm per se—if the harm is that I'm bringing people to awareness of evil and they are appropriately upset, that's a very moral kind of "harm." But I dunno. There's so much context and I'm with you also that we want to create a sensitive and caring environment, not a cold & heartless one where we constantly psychically bombard each other I wanna find some writings on this, I'm sure they're out there buried in the good social justice discourse. I feel so lost at sea. @dreamilyenchantingwasteland​, any thoughts?

Hmm. Okay, totally off-the-cuff thoughts on this: It’s complicated. (Of course.) But I don’t think what’s complicated is the morality of sharing the message so much as questions about context. Which sort of seems to be what @saladgirl is saying also.

I DO think that when people are confronted with incontrovertible evidence of horrific, brutal acts, it changes them. Photo/video evidence is still considered relatively incontrovertible by most people these days. (This may shift.) And so, for example, I think the success of Black Lives Matter largely comes down to the fact that otherwise sheltered people have recently been “forced” (or “allowed”) to see countless videos of police brutality against black people.

Likewise, I’ve had a number of people tell me recently that they became a vegetarian or vegan because of some documentaries they watched about the horrible conditions of factory farming. Their narrative is usually something along the lines of “I always thought factory farming was bad but I could never quite get myself to quit eating meat — until I saw that movie, and now I can’t get the images out of my head, fuck.” Similarly, we’ve all heard the stories of people turning vegan after working in a slaughterhouse, etc. And, I mean, the Vietnam protests were caused in large part by people seeing the reality of war on TV.

I suspect this kind of brutal imagery doesn’t change the minds of anybody who’s already firmly opposed to the position being put forward — partly because, I suspect, those folks have in some ways already bitten their bullets. Hawks understand that war is brutal. Hunters and farmers know that killing animals is disturbing and disgusting in many ways. Cops and cop-lovers, obviously, are not surprised that police are violent towards black folks. These people just have pre-constructed justification narratives for brutal acts, so when they see them happening “in the flesh” they can apply their narrative and sleep at night.

On the flipside, people who in theory believe that war, police brutality, animal cruelty, domestic violence etc. are wrong but don’t see it in their day-to-day are constantly trying to manage a sort of ethical cognitive dissonance. Their (our) narrative is less about why these acts are categorically okay, and more about how they’re probably not really happening. Not like THAT anyway. How a lot of the stories are apocryphal or exaggerated — PETA being drama queens or whatever — because, surely, the world can’t be THAT terrible of a place? And yet we go around with this sort of quivering anxiety in our guts that maybe the world *is* that terrible a place and we’re not doing anything about it.

So, when we’re shown incontrovertible evidence that, in fact, our worst nightmares are true — black children are being murdered with impunity, dogs are having their noses cut off, women are being brutally raped in their own homes — that low-level anxiety in our guts explodes and we’re left with several choices: find some way to deepen in our denial (but usually with an awareness that we’re doing it), join the “other side” by picking up their narrative about why these things are no big deal/a necessary evil, or take action in line with our values. Most people choose one of the first two, but probably enough people choose the third option (at least for a little while) to justify this strategy. It’s like a very “tough love” way of preaching to the choir.

All of that being said, here’s where we come back to the question of context. It’s one thing to have some doubts about the morality of eating meat, and to decide you’re going to watch an investigative documentary about factory farming order to understand more about how horrible it is, with the full knowledge that this may push you over the edge in terms of not being able to stomach animal products — in fact, maybe that’s (consciously or subconsciously) part of WHY you’ve chosen to watch that documentary.

It’s another thing entirely to wake up in the morning and find that someone has taped pictures of animals being tortured to the ceiling above your bed. That’s an abuse tactic. And while I believe that causing “harm” or discomfort in the interest of encouraging ethical behavior is justifiable, abuse never is.

So, you’ve referred here to people posting images of animal brutality in such a way that they end up in your social media feeds as “forcing” you to see them. And I think this is the crux of the issue. I think we can agree that it’s not bad for these images to exist. These things are happening to animals. Better that they be documented than not documented. Better that those documents be publicly available than that they be hidden or destroyed. Even, arguably, perhaps better that they be broadcast with the intent of raising awareness among those who would be more likely to do something about it if they were reminded, viscerally, that this was happening.

I think we can also agree that it’s wrong to force people to watch triggering content against their will. So, to what degree are we being forced to engage with that content when it’s posted on social media? This isn’t a rhetorical question. I don’t know the answer. Certainly, corporate social media platforms are intentionally designed to captivate us, to in many ways force us to keep using and looking at them even when we don’t want to. I think that may be more of a problem with ad-driven social media platforms than with the people posting troubling content to them, but that’s sort of a whole different ethical can of worms.

But is it okay to broadcast images of animal torture (or police brutality, or domestic violence, or war) on the TV news? (TV and radio usually provide a content warning before they do something like that: “Attention, the following program contains x, y, z and may be upsetting to some viewers.” In fact, it might be interesting to read e.g. some writing by professional journalists about whether or not they felt it was ethically imperative to publish or not publish the Abu Ghraib images — because that was something the field of journalism itself had some conundrums over.) Is social media more akin to the TV news, or to your personal inbox, or is it something else entirely?  Do the cultural contexts and/or feed management options of different types of social media streams matter? Is it more okay to post torture videos on Twitter than it is on Facebook? Tumblr? Reddit?

Again, these aren’t rhetorical questions. I think these are some of the questions we’re all having to wrangle with because we are dealing with a whole lot of very new communications technology and, tbh, we haven’t had much time to establish normative ethics around their use. Journalistic ethics and interpersonal social ethics are blurring together and crashing into each other all over the internet right now, and they’re often at cross-purposes. Eventually, there will be clearer etiquette guidelines about what should be posted where and everyone will know them — and will have to break them with intention if they want to share information that isn’t supposed to be shared there. It’s conversations like the ones we’re having right now that are going to help establish those etiquette norms. But for the time being, it’s a little bit of a free-for-all and I think many folks are taking advantage of that — for good or for ill — to get their content in front of eyeballs without much need for concern about the social consequences of doing so.

So, yeah, it’s complicated. But here are the gut intuitions I personally have about sharing torture videos (animal or otherwise) — because apparently we live in an era of history where “sharing torture videos” is a question of ethics and etiquette we all have to ask ourselves about.

1. As long as torture is happening, it’s good that torture videos (and still images, etc.) exist and are available to the public.

2. Nobody should be sending that shit to your phone directly: No texting it, no sharing it in group chats unless they exist for that purpose, probably no posting it directly to your Facebook wall. Basically, nothing that triggers a notification. You should never click through a notification with no warning and suddenly be face-to-face with images of violence.

3. If you use your social media account primarily for social communication, keeping in touch with family, chatting with friends, etc. you probably want to be pretty sparing and considerate about posting disturbing imagery on it. If you use your social media account primarily for broadcast, political, or awareness raising reasons around this issue, post whatever the hell you want; your followers know what they’re signing up for.

4. It’s always okay to post links to content you’re deeply moved by, with content descriptions, and encourage your friends to watch them if it’s safe for them to do so. It’s polite to remove the preview images.

5. Social media platforms ought to be better designed to give users more control over what they see and don’t see. You should never have to see animal torture images if you don’t want to, even if all of your friends are posting them daily, because there should be ways for you to block/unsubscribe from certain types of content not just entire profiles.

In short: It’s not really an issue of whether or not it’s okay to share disturbing content for awareness-raising reasons. That’s a tactic that has inherent pros and cons, always has, and always will.  It’s an issue of the current ease and scale with which that content can now be shared outside of predictable (i.e. journalistic) contexts — and, because of that, there is an ethical imperative for software developers and designers to give users more granular filtering facility. Precisely for the reason that we are now in a situation where people need to be able to make personal decisions about their level of exposure to things like torture videos. They won’t, though, because the same kind of software that would allow you to opt out of seeing torture videos would also allow you to opt out of seeing ads.

[erenjaegur]

Snk Positivity Day 6: Love Your Series

Im gonna put this under a read more because I cant think of express my feelings on something without turning it into a full length incoherent ass essay so!!

I’ve been in the snk fandom since I was like 12 lol - Im 16 now so that’s like, five years?? I can still remember like I’d see a lot of gifs n stuff of it going around tumblr and for some reason I just really felt I wouldn’t like it like I had smthing lowkey against it?? But then I decided to watch it one day, n i still remember, I was just chilling on my laptop watching it in the sitting room, my family around me and stuff and goddd it was soo good... but it made me tear up... n bITCH I was NOT! about to cry in the sitting room around my family. I was not! prepared for that. That night I stayed up till possibly 1 or 3am just watching it, I must’ve gotten to like around episode 6 I think? I loved it so much I rlly fell in love, I finished it all in just three days.... three days of which I also went to school and stuff and had to go to my friends party.... bitch i was pissed i didnt even like that person....i just wanted to finish snk lmaooo 😭

Im pretty sure Id spend sm of my time invested in snk and looking through snk tumblrs and stuff and other fandom stuff of it, I loved it so much!!! like!! thats all I did and even then I was still forcing my friends to read/watch it. I was really cringey in 6th class wow lmaoo I would literally go around during break with the snk manga like xD!!! eren is my baby!!! saying shit like that yikes.... bitch first of all hes 4 years older than you...your literally 12.....

Especially then, when I was younger it brought me sm happiness like when little me was going through shit then little insecure young me, you know how people say u use entertainment to escape or whatever, a distraction, idk.... like that was rlly it man idk ho to describe it without sounding weird i swear it was like my main source of happiness omg lol

Almost always, its very rare like I’ll be watching a movie, listening to music, anything like that just consuming some piece of media or literally just like. living my life and I see something and im like. omg snk au in which.... or I just somehow relate it back to snk or some of its characters lol. Like even when I was on holiday in Venice last year I was literally like thinking of a fanfic of like, the 104th on holidays in Venice like how wholesome...

Like I really do love snk I think about it every day without fail, and I honestly think I’ll always always always love it, and even if I don’t, it’s always gonna have a special place in my heart. Like, I liked it since i was literally 12 years old and it helped my through shit and I just have so much good memories associated with it. I honestly rlly do picture myself being like a 40 year old woman and still loving snk but like the fandom is dead or something... 😭 I rlly hope that never happens.....bc that will happen my 40 year old ass will b like boiis whens season 10 coming out ? Like I really hope snk is one of those series that kind of just lives on forever, or atleast for a very long time - Like Harry Potter for example

Okay, all that was really personal and I’d be surprised if anyone is reading this anyway, but I love looking back on it and talking about snk like this, I love it :) Butttt, getting to one of the reasons why I think I might love snk so much, and I mean, I can’t really pin it down why I love it so much, I dont think anyone can pin down EXACTLY why they love something, especially a series, but I think one thing I really like, and it becomes really apparent when I look at other series is like, they have a good balance between male and female characters if that makes sense. Like theres not way more men in the show than there is women, like how it is in some series or like, theres not way more men in the show than there is women, and the female characters in the show aren’t just like background characters pretty much, and they’re all good fleshed out and developed characters n shit. I think people have talked about this before but yeah.. And the female characters aren’t sexualised or anything like that and like, theres basically little to no fanservice at all which is nice. Supereyepatchwolf said something about it in his video about snk, how it can appeal to everyone because anyone of any age and gender and such can be in the survey corps n stuff... :P

And the characters just in general of course :) I honestly think the characters is one of snks strongest points, like... im not about to do a full on character analysis on anyone here lol but they’re just so amazing. Like I think on first glance it can probably be easy for people to sort most of them into like a trope or something or just write them off as cliche - mostly eren is victim to this bc people are like typical shounen boy !!! but like. you know anyway. I wish I was better at expressing my feelings and thoughts lol. Like god idk i feel like its so easy for someone who idk might just be a casual fan or smthing to just kinda see the characters on their more surface level without seeing how much depth they actually have - and I feel like that could also easily happen with anime only ppl. Like snk really does have so much great n complex n developed characters, especiallyyy now with the timeskip, more so now than ever. Like you know when you love something so much that you cant just pin point one thing about it... because its like.... everything about it i love n everything within it works to like compliment everything in it if that makes sense u get me?? like i cant just pinpoint ONE THING its the whole thing.... why i love snk? *directs u to link of readsnkmanga.com* or something lol

as for the characters themselves, obviously u can tell, with my url, u can take a guess at who my favourite is :) since the timeskip, i dont like him as much - not that i dislike him, i could literally never - but timeskip eren is basically a whole new person - and im not saying that in a bitter tone or anything, if anything its cool and i appreciate it and i understand why eren is like this now, all the shit hes been through- stuff so singular that barely anyone else would be able to understand, no one, if anything. So i understand why hes like this, and as i said earlier, this’ one of snks strong points its complex and rlly developed characters... The things I admired about Eren is just like... his good and bad, everything. How passionate he is, how he wears his heart on his sleeve - that of which being his most notable quality imo, and he expresses himself in an unapologetic manner like.... the courtroom scene... he rlly shouted that in front of all those people... how headstrong, stubborn and impulsive he is. I relate to Eren alot, thats part of the reason why I love him so much because I think I can kinda see myself in him.. but on the same hand, I think it’s also because he possesses a lot of traits I admire. Eren never backs down even when the whole world seems to be against him. He holds on firmly to what he believes in and never gives in, even when literal guns or canons are being pointed towards him. He’s full of determination and will power and he knows what he wants, and he’s also not afraid to express his opinion, even if he knows that he’ll be laughed at or be largely disagreed with.. And I admire his impulsiveness too. Those are all things I admire and other things I didn’t mention.. like me, I’m a very non confrontational person, I always feel things out before getting to it, and even then a lot of the time I just don’t at all. I might second guess my emotions and feelings when it comes to relationships with people especially, and I can a lot of the time stifle or keep quiet about my own beliefs, not completely keeping quiet, but not speaking them out as firmly as I believe them in my own mind, yielding? more I guess, if people disagree with me, I might step down a little - Which isn’t a completely bad thing, it’s good to be openminded and to see other sides, but when it’s coming from a place of embarassment or insecurity, not so much. So I really admire those traits in Eren :) I relate to him a lot, but I also know that in a lot of ways too, we are veryy different. I’ve even thought before, if I knew someone like Eren irl would I even like them lol?? Who knows lol. But as a character, I love him :) My other two favourtie characters after Eren, Levi and Jean, I won’t go into them as much as I did Eren but with them, and not just that, all of the other reasons they’re my faves.. I have like more of a ‘crush’ on them lmaooo like with them i could read so much /reader fanfic lol... but even though Eren is my #1 I could nEVER...god NO lol. And I think thats also down to the fact, as I’ve been saying I seen myself in Eren... rather than the other way around :))))))))

Like god there have been so many times I’ve laughed, cried at stuff in this fandom, made good memories as a result of it irl too... bullied my friends into watching it.... Like I have nothing but good memories. I really can’t express enough how positively snk has impacted my life like I genuinely can’t, it’d be impossible.. I seriously love it :) I’ve made friends bc of it, gotten closer to friends bc of our mutual interest in it, stuff like that...:) And even if those things didn’t happen, I’d still love the series and its fandom itself. :) I seriously can’t thank enough, the ppl that contribute to this fandom, I really can’t. Everything, and everyone to small and big creators, thank you so much. Well known and lesser known creators, like just everything and everyone, seriously. Everyone is just why this fandom is so great and!! Like I just think how lucky am I to have smthing like snk have such a big fandom and stuff and so many great people in it. Like y’know when you see your favourite fanfic update, you see your favourite artist has put out smthing new, even just see a funny snk text post or something, it all can really brighten and even make your day, and its so good :) There are so many amazing creators in this fandom, fanfics that are honestly better than published books I’ve read - like seriously, some of this stuff seriously deserves to e published or something!! And the fact that so much of these creators are putting their work out there and sharing with us for free, is just so great, and I’ll never not be grateful for it :)

Like seriously, returning back to when I was like 12-14, some days back then when I was younger it really felt like y’know the only things I could take comfort in was this series and its characters and stuff yknow.... and maybe im just being and emo teen but im getting kinda emotional thinking about it just now :’) Like seriously... I feel like im maybe being too much in this post lol but seriously this series means a lot to me.. as I said, I can honestly really picture myself being like 40 and still rlly loving snk like no matter what, whatever happens, wherever the series goes, whatever the hell, it’ll always hold a special place in my heart, because its helped me through a lot, a lot of bad days, I have nothing but good memories associated with it, made friends, seen some of the most beautiful art and read rlly great writing!! Just like yeah. Thank u Isayama and this entire fandom.....

and I was gonna peace out but I also want to appreciate and throw some love @ Isayamas art and art style. Obviously, Isayama was a bit infamous in the earlier days for his art not looking so great (Which also is amazing bc like a manga with not so great art like his in the beginning... grew to become so BIG!! like who would’ve thought) - even so the character design and stuff was all really good?? Like I also think thats a strong point he has too!! And all those years of practicing really shows, because damn!! look at his art now!! It’s really damn nice and im not just saying that lol :P

Anyway!! :) Thats all lol

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 5,(part 1)

In part 1 of this post, more than analyzing, I want to understand few confusing things first. I’m not annoyed or angry, I’m just confused & trying to piece things together, so, kindly don’t feel off with my usage of  (!!!) & (???). lol. I’ll ONLY discuss two things here that confuse me a lot. ( Real ep review/ analysis will be in part 2)

1- Momiji’s romantic love for tohru (the real love triangle). What?!!!!!

I’m so shocked that momiji loves tohru romantically! So, in order to understand ( where did this come from!!) I re-visited his scenes with tohru since se01 & trying to see if I missed anything! Below is my speculations:

Is it love at first sight?!!! When Momiji first met tohru he kissed her on the cheek. I’ve always thought lightly that in the eyes of the reserved Japanese (bowing is greeting), all Europeans (kissing on the check is greeting). hence, Momiji’s kiss, he’s half Europea. However, perhaps it is a Kureno/ Arisa type of love at 1st sight/kiss?! kureno nearly kissed Arisa on the lips on their 1st official meeting. But Kureno/Arisa kiss was meant to be romantic/sexual with adult kureno’s “ I wanted to taste her lips”. but Momiji’s is a peak on the cheek & he was a child, so... I don’t think he’s struck by love before he’s officially introduced to us the audience.

Is it gradual growing love like kyo’s ? in all Momiji/ tohru eps, he always just wanted to play with her, visit places & spend time together.  (hot spring & beach vacation) are his own ideas. But momiji didn’t want tohru exclusively. He intentionally invited both yuki & kyo to the hot spring & even was begging kyo to come. He invited all zodiacs to the beach & wanted all to spend time together. I believe that the hot spring ep especially showed momiji as this playful, innocent & naive kid, wanting to share tohru’s females’ hot spring section. I don’t think momiji was madly in love at that time. He was a child going “ waaaa~, kyo hit me” &  jumping here & there. 

So, summer vacation? but then again, Momiji slept with the children & tohru doted on them all. He defended tohru but they all defend her & love her. he said to kyo that he “selfishly wanted to be with tohru” but I didn’t  catch any romantic hints from that. Was it really that time?? they all wanted to spend time with tohru. Yuki said “ I’ll kidnap you”, kyo agreed to go to the beach right away, kisa was glued to her to the point of annoying hiro! So, when? & why not let us as the audience know abt momiji’s feelings.

Is it related to opening up to tohru abt his family issues? He confessed to tohru abt his dad, mom & momo. She cried for him & hugged him. I never got the feeling in all those scenes that he was in love! it seemed to me like friendship love similar to hana’s/Arisa’s or siblings love substituting his nonexistent relationship with momo.

Is it just me?? I always saw momiji as this baby in toddler clothes, jumping, laughing & a ray of sunshine! A child but with the most mature heart & mind. Tohru didn’t help momiji, he was already helping himself first & reaching healthy conclusions abt how he should deal with his own traumas. So, perhaps (Me) not seeing him as a teenager stopped me from seeing his romantic love? but they showed me hiro/kisa’s love. Elementary school kids! so?

Regardless of when he fell in love or how, the point is, this is heart-breathtakingly tragic! cuz (a) tohru never saw him more than a child at first, then as a precious friend, (b) she’s intensely in love with kyo, which brings us to tohru’s core issues. (Tohru loosing yet another loved one). Tohru’s own issues aren’t fully explored yet, but her love for kyo has been blatantly hammered to us since se01 finale! this is because kyo being locked in the cat room equals (death) which parallels her mom’s (death). Tohru will be living her tragic trauma again but this time, kyo replacing kyoko! Thus, giving tohru a room for growth & character development.Tohru’s intense love for kyo was shown in by the drastic change in her attitude in se01, ep.24, chasing firmly after him even when he pushed her & refusing to let go until he’s back home cuz she wants to! then yuki blatantly saying “ she loves him, too, the way she looks at him“  im se02, ep22 & “don’t worry, tohru, he won’t accept (the other girls confession)” in se02, ep 17 & all her scenes with kyo in that ep where she’s scared he’ll let go of her & other scenes throughout the 3 seasons.

...so why momiji’s impossible & unrequited love is introduced?

I believe it is to push kyo to not let go of tohru. To throw kyo into this internal conflict between selflessly letting go of tohru so she could be happy (like hatori did with kana) & selfishly wanting her to be his lover ( like haru). Kyo himself expressed these two conflicting thoughts in se02, ep, 9 “ I hoped we could always be together somewhere  far off (selfish love) & “ I don’t want to take anything from you (selfless love). So, momiji is challenging kyo in a way making him realize that selfish love might not be bad afterall & selfless love could be harmful! cleverly reversing the two concepts. So, I get why this love triangle was introduced. but whyyyy momiji! T_T.. choose someone else, Writer-San! poor Momiji we learned abt his love the same ep we learned it hopeless & he can’t pursue! T_T. couldn’t you at least put the two scenes far away, so I get time to grieve his broken heart! T_T.

2- Yuki/Machi ( Yuki is in a such hurry!!!!)

You could use the analogy of yuki’s starting the story as a (baby/child) taken cared by his mother (tohru) who taught him to be a person (all se01), Yuki took this knowledge  as a (kid/teenager) & formed friendship on his own with (kakeru) in (se02). it is not after yuki became a true equal friend to kakeru, chocking him & equally teasing him, that Machi was allowed to talk abt her self as a real character with agency & thoughts (se02, ep24), now yuki must be a (teenager/Man) & fall romantically in love, hence (se03, eps 2 & 3). All this is amazing. So, I kinda expected the following:

yuki won’t take as long as kyo in confessing/ realizing romantic love since he/machi don’t have a shared baggage nor obstacles from the past.

 he won’t be as fast as haru’s “ i love you/ kiss/ make love”. But then again, Haru & Isuzu have already known each other for years & are already in love, they just put a name to their desires & went on with it.

So, yuki should be in the middle, noticing, knowing abt the person, crushing, then realizing love & wanting a future together! Cuz yuki is this type of person who values taking time thinking thoroughly, right??

I’m confused as yuki wanted to confess the curse & to be with machi romantically right after the machi background scene? I know not everything should be on-screen & him falling slowly in love could be off-screen...  the flower is a yuki/machi “ noticing her stage”, her fighting with him over the red leaf is “ noticing him stage” for her. but there’s only ONE intimate scene of them together! Her raw tears when he comforted her in her flat (the chalk scene is bonus). but.. I never expected that yuki is planning to confess his curse & feelings this early!!!!!! yuki! are you SURE she loves you? ( I mean we the audience know 100%) but how is HE sure?? yuki going this big stage so soon felt a bit un-yuki. but then agin, perhaps that’s part of the new changed confident yuki? I duno, I mean Machi was never given a proper time to prosper, but yuki was always given all the time there is to explore his feelings & even other ppl’s feelings! He’s there in kyo/tohru ‘s story to tells the audience they’re in love, he’s there in Isuzu/ haru to mend their gap. I mean yeah there gotta be more scenes abt them for sure, we’re in ep 5, but I never expected a the intruppted confession now & this soon!

perhaps it’s just me, again?! Maye I’m so invested in yuki & accustomed to him always taking time that I kinda expected more before he’s thinking of confessing. I really thought that confessing his curse/love is yuki/machi’s own story climax compared to kyo/tohru’s story climax with kyoko & Isuzu/Haru story climax after breakup, oh well. I’m positive we’ll see more of yuki’s journey with machi as yuki is rarely absent in any eps. More scenes to come!

That’s the end of my headache! XD. I apologize for giving you headache if you were kind enough to read all this. kindly, don’t spoil future scenes or sub-plots to me. I’m just expressing my shock at how fast the plot moved! just few eps ago, I was watching motoko love journey that survived 3 seasons! Hands down Motoko wins in furuba! XD. Jokes aside, Can I say we’re officially where “the plot thickens?” Is it going down? This ep felt like a bullet train!

Side Notes:

I never liked the “children in deep love theme” that hiro has as children shouldn’t suffer the romantic pining & suffering as teenagers & adult ppl,  so, I really appreciated that Momimi altho was 15 when we 1st saw him, lived his childhood without the “oh my! I’m so in love~ pining~ suffer”.

The story introduced ( momoiji in romantic love) the same ep Momiji got tall, so making it as sth he expressed once he hit puberty like most boys his age. He even said it “ I’m a man now”, which is again sth boys feel once they get taller & experience other feelings.

Momiji never catches a break! T_T. My son is denied the types of love he wants (parental love, sibling love & now romantic love! ).

I don’t picture momiji/tohru together as a couple cuz it wasn’t built that way in the story & most of their moments weren’t romantic/sexual tension. to me it was the ultimate friendship!

I wish my son finds love on-screen! If Moyoko/Nao gets on-screen love, give my boy on-screen love, too!

Nah~ forget that~ I’m just sad for my son, I don’t want to see him paired with any character quickly to compensate him not having tohru. This is not doing momiji justice. So, I get the ED art of him with Momo.

If kyo has someone who loves him one-sidedly (Kagura), tohru now has someone who love her one-sidedly (momiji).

The kagura/kyo confrontation was heart breaking, but it had to happen cuz kyo knew she loved him & had to stop her. I hope Momiji never confesses to tohru, I wouldn’t be able to survive seeing tohru turn him down.Tohru & momiji are just too kind for such sad situation.

So, does this mean that the two characters with unrequited love are Kagura & momiji? they’re the only characters with no romantic partner in the ED.

Hana is without a lover in the ED, too! XD. Thank God! I love her crush on kazuma, cuz hello~ who won’t crush on this hunk! & teenage girls can crush on grown up men rather than boys (I know I did, but it was just my girlish crush). I’m thankful it is just a crush & teasing kyo tactics & not true romance! don’t give me another Arisa/Kureno, plz. lol.