#and i don't want to accidentally hurt someone who Does understand the loss of a body part

[floffytofu]

The Padawan

next

The young woman humming while holding her baby, trying to stop their cries in her arms, even her head feels dizzy from blood loss. She is still trying to sing lullaby, ignoring the stare from a Jedi behind her.

"I can still heal you and bring you to coruscant" The Jedi knell beside her looked at her eyes with faint sorrow. "You know it will be too late for that Jedi master, I just need you to promise me one thing" The woman looked at the Jedi with pleading eyes and a single tear rolling down. "Please give my baby home to go back, don't let them be alone"

The jedi master swallowed hard, looking at the baby who is asleep peacefully now. He knew that Jedi couldn't form any attachment. He knew that he couldn't promise her anything. He knew that he had to ask all of the Jedi Council members permission first. But at the moment, he can't bring himself to say no to her. He can't bring himself to deny a desperate mother who just wants to save her child. And he can't deny the Force calling him to accept and promise to her.

"I promise"

-Time skip 10 years later-

"And what do you think you doing with that bird young one?"

You stop at your track, looking at Master Windu with a sheepish smile, holding a bird in your chest, afraid to drop it. "Oh, I uh- I found it at the outside Master, someone accidentally stepped on its leg. So I brought it to Healher Che"

Windu looked at you with skeptical eyes and sigh. He took the bird gently and looked at the leg who seemed already healed. He looked back at you "It looks fine now"

You nodded at him and released a breath who you didn't even realise you were holding "Can I keep it Master? Just to make sure it didn't get hurt"

Windu closed his eyes for a brief moment and kneeled in front of you. He held your shoulder gently "What do we learn about attachment young one?" you frown and sigh "I know attachment can lead to the dark side Master, but I promise I won't. I just want to take care of it"

Windu shook his head gently and stood up. He looked at you with a more serious gaze now or you called it with 'the council members gaze' "Young one, you need to control your emotions in check. You have already grown up now and soon you will be selected as a Padawan. If you can't control your emotions, it will be hard for you to be chosen as Padawan and we don't want that to happen"

You looked down at your feet and nodded "Yes Master, I understand" Looking at that, Windu's gaze softened, he took one of your hands and put the bird in your palm.

"Now let's set this little bird free together, shall we?"

You look up at the old Master and smile.

"With young Skywalker, how young Ahsoka did, hmm? Much potential the duo possessed" Master Yoda looked at Obi-Wan with a faint smile. Obi-Wan sat down on his chair and nodded at the old Grand Master "They indeed made a great duo Master, Ahsoka's presence really making a good influence on Anakin to teach him responsibility"

The Grandmaster nodded satisfied, "After young Skywalker, another Padawan, do you desire young Kenobi? perhaps hmm?" Obi-Wan rubs a hand over his beard, seems in deep thought "I don't think taking a Padawan is a really good choice in the middle of this war, but after looking at Ahsoka and Anakin. Perhaps I'll consider it Master"

"Good, it seems. Padawan for himself, Master Windu is already choosing hmm?" The old Master looking at Windu while holding his tomb. There’s a beat of silence before his reply comes "I do Master Yoda, but I still feel unsure considering their age is too young to become a Padawan"

The Grand Master shook his head gently and smiled. "Matter, age does not, to become a Padawan. Strong with the Force, they are, and guide them, it will. hmm" Windu nodded at this and seemed to agree with Master Yoda.

The Council continue the long discussion about taking young Padawan to the war zone. Some disagree. Some agree and the others simply remain silent. The idea of Jedi as a peacekeeper leading war is never to sit right in the first place, and now they had to bring the young Jedi to lead the Republic war? But they didn't have any other choice. It's what they believe so. Before the war there were more than thousands of them, and now because of this war there's a lot of them who had died to sacrifice themselves for the Republic victory. And now for the sake of peace, for the sake of their Jedi code lead them to this discussion.

"Heard enough, I have. Taking a vote, we will be. Consider the matter, we must. Collective decision, it shall be. Wisdom and insight, each member shall bring." Says Master Yoda, Before the council votes, the door swung open. Revealed the young Tholothian girl looks troubled "Ah- Apologize for the sudden interruption Masters" the young girl bow for a moment "Easy young one, what can we do for you?" says Master Plo koon gently, trying to ease the panic in her voice. The girl calmed her breath and answered

"There's a fight in the training ground"

Upon hearing the news, Master Yoda shook his head gently before swiftly making his way to the training ground, the rest of the council trailing closely behind. As they arrived at the training ground, they met with a disheartening sight. A pair of young Jedis, visibly battered and bruised, stood before them. Looking at their arrival, the boy quickly ran to them, leaving you behind with broken saber training in your hand.

"Masters please help me, they keep attacking me. It hurts Masters please"

Fury surged within you as the false accusations reached your ears, igniting a burning anger that consumed your thoughts and clouded your vision. You quickly tried to calm your anger, as you composed your thoughts and began to explain in desperate "No I didn't do it! He attacked me first, Masters please"

Your gaze darted anxiously from one council member to another, your eyes filled with a plea for belief. As your gaze meets with Windu's, you only look at the disappointment in his eyes, breaking your heart more. You drop the broken saber training in your hand and run away.

-a few hours ago, before the incident-

The training room crackled with energy as your lightsaber met with your sparing partner. Your blades whirled through the air. Trying to find the opening in your opponent's attack, sweat trickled down your forehead remaining focus. The air crackled with the hum of blades, each strike resonating with an intensity that sent vibrations through your very core. In a moment, you seized an opening in your opponent's defense. Purple and blue blade clash together as you swing, breaking his defense and disarming him.

Holding two training lightsabers in your hand, you point at his neck as your gaze meets his hard one. You lower your lightsaber and offering his weapon back, he snatched it from your grasp with a sudden, harsh motion as his gaze remained hard "You just lucky this time"

You scoff at that as you rolled your eyes, "Yeah, say that after I beat you like 3 times today Ian" He gritted his teeth, his jaw clenching tightly as a visible sign of his seething frustration, you sigh. "Seriously? I never understand why you seem to hate me that much. You know hatred can lead to the darkside" Without warning, he launched himself forward, his attack swift and ferocious as you block his blue lightsaber.

"Say that to someone who weild a purple lightsaber like you" He taunted, his voice dripping with mockery. As he kept lunged forward attacking you with furious swings, "You forget that Master Windu had the same saber as mine" you spat back as you raised your lightsaber to block the oncoming attack, the two blades colliding in a shower of sparks.

Your movements aimed at deflecting the blows rather than launching counterattacks. Despite your best efforts to block and avoid the attacks, Ian continued to press on relentlessly until he broke your defense as a strike landed solidly in your arm sending a jolt of pain towards your body "Stop, I don't want to hurt you" you strained, your voice laced with determination. But Ian seemed undeterred, he attacked unabated. As his face contorted with anger, he scoffed dismissively.

"Fight back your coward! No one chooses me as a Padawan because of you!" He lunge his lightsaber towards you as you block his attack again, "Maybe because you are not ready" you reply, making him shake his head, a mix of anger and frustration as he unleashed a powerful Force push, Your feet lost their footing, and your body collided with the ground as your head impacting with a jolt. Making your forehead begin to bleed profusely, leaving you momentarily stunned and breathless "I am always ready, more than anyone! until you come and try to get all the Masters attention!"

Gasping for a breath, you slowly rose to your feet as anger slowly began to consume you. You scoff at him as you wipe blood from your forehead "Then it's not my fault that I am more talented than you" you launched yourself towards your opponent. The clash of lightsabers echoed through the air as you unleashed a flurry of strikes, your movement fueled with a mix of adrenaline and anger. Ian seems taken aback by your sudden burst of energy, making you strike his arm and push him with force as the impact made him slam against the wall. You crash your lightsaber training on the wall beside his head as you try to gather your breath "I told you before, I don't want to hurt you"

After Master Yoda tells the boy to meet Healher Che at Medbay, he looks back at Obi-Wan gaze who remains still looking in the direction where your little figure ran away a minute ago. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the Grand Master, "Remind you of yourself, do they, young Kenobi? hmm" Master Yoda's voice carried a touch of curiosity and insight, his eyes gazing deeply into the young Jedi Master.

The question making Obi-Wan Kenobi pause, as a brief of flashback memories when he remembers he also got himself in the same position as you now. "Yes, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan responded, his voice steady yet tinged with a touch of introspection. "I didn't sense any lie in their words, they were telling the truth. I believe that the boy provokes them first"

But you can also sense anger from them" answer Windu as he sighing softly. There's a brief moment before he continues "I can't train them Master Yoda" Yoda nodded at this and looked back at Obi-Wan who seemed troubled. "But, Master Windu," Obi-Wan began, his tone measured yet earnest, "Surely you can train them to ease their anger"

Master Windu's expression remained stoic, his features unmoved by Obi-Wan's words. "My saber fighting form is not suitable for them" Master Windu paused, allowing a moment of silence to settle in the air. "You know well that Vapaad was explained as being a state of mind rather than just a fighting style. With their unstable emotions. It would lead them to the dark side, and I don't want to take that risk"

Obi-Wan's fingers instinctively reached up and grazed his beard, a troubled expression crossing his face. In his eyes, he saw reflection of his own past. He can feel how scared and lost you are. He can feel your desperation, the anger you feel when not being heard or understood. The look in your eyes broke his heart and he knew that he shouldn't feel this way as a Jedi, but he was willing to take the risk. He won't let you feel just like he did in his past, he won't let you feel alone.

"I'll take them as my Padawan"

A mischievous twinkle danced in Yoda's ancient eyes as a knowing smile spread across his face. It feels like he had foreseen this very moment unfold before him, "Train them, you will, hmm. The willingness of the Force, it seems."

You keep runaway ignoring the blood still dripping from your forehead and the pain as your head feels dizzy, until you reach the room of a thousand fountains. You hide behind the bush as you leaning against a sturdy rock, you huddled close, your arms wrapped tightly around your knees. Tears welled up in your eyes, shimmering with a mixture of sorrow, sadness, and anger. You don't understand how Ian could be that cruel. He is always bothering you since Ahsoka and Caleb are chosen as Padawans and shortly after that, Cal is also chosen and leave you behind alone.

You know you haven't been chosen because of your age, and now after the fight it will become worse. There's no Jedi Master who wants a Padawan like you, the one who can't control their anger. You hate this, being alone. You missed Ahsoka, she always comes to find you when you feel alone, and now she's not here. You are truly alone now, you think, until you sense someone coming. You look up as you see Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi smiling softly at you. When he sees you didn't say anything, he sat down beside you.

"Master Windu told me this is your favorite place"

You look down and refuse to meet his eyes, "What do you want Master Kenobi?" Your voice slightly trembles, making Obi-Wan's heart clench, he sighs "I don't come here to punish you young one, don't worry. I know how you feel" you scoff at this and the realization washed over you, that you had scoffed Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi. You quickly muttered an apology, but to your surprise he just laughed softly "I know it sounds unbelievable to you, but I can tell you a story about myself before I get chosen as a Padawan. How does that sound?"

You blinked up at him and nodded, he smiled at this. Obi-Wan's fingers reached up and grazed his beard as he couldn't help but wear a mischievous smile, a glint of playfulness dancing in his eyes. "But I don't think I have much time for that, since I need to go back to my batallion" He can sense disappointment in you as you nodded in understanding.

"But" he paused, as his smile widened. "I can tell you more story if you come with me as my Padawan" As the words left Obi-Wan's lips, a surge of surprise washed over you, your eyes widen. The surprise painted your face with a mixture of awe and gratitude. You shook your head gently still can't believe what just happened "But why?" you whisper, Obi-Wan's gaze soften. He raised his hand and reached out towards your cheek, he brushed away the tears.

"Because you remind me of myself. You are strong in force and talented young jedi, and I won't let you be alone"

[saltyb0ba]

im soooo normal about ezran callum sibling relationship

the little kid who had to grow up too fast, leaving stolen jelly tarts behind for clean hands on the throne and the big kid who never got a chance to play house with his younger brother before worries took the place of imagination. the kid king who seems to be handling things well, but no longer laughs at jokes with his kind of humor, and would rather get to the point than have a bit of fun with finding out the answer.

ezran luckily has a strong support system and a brother that will be there for him no matter what, putting himself in danger just to ensure ezran's safety. he's bonded with zym on a psychic and emotional level, and can talk to animals with relative ease. making the burden of the crown just a bit lighter. he knows he has people he can reach out to and lean on, and takes advantage of that when the offer is handed to him. growing up hurts, but with loved ones surrounding him, it was okay. as okay as it could be.

callum is his own support system. soren's called him step-prince for as long as he could remember, and though it was never explicitly shown, it's not hard to infer the amount of damage that can inflict on someone's mind. he already was second in line to the throne despite being the older sibling, and to just have it drilled in your head again and again that someone doesn't want you there just hurts. and it forms an unhealthy mindset that sticks with him for a while.

soren's insisted that it was a joke, but it's not wrong for callum to take it personally. especially with how many times soren's repeated it. claudia lost his respect a long time ago. callum isn't really shown to have the same amount of familiarity with the royal court as ezran does, and his office is a bit isolated from the rest of the castle. it isn't where he sleeps (though sometimes falls asleep in), but even in his own quarters he's separated from ezran. that bed's either filled by rayla or just empty moonlight at this point.

callum's always taken his own path whereas ezran followed in his father's footsteps.

that's naturally led to callum exploring a new future alone (or at least, with minimal support) vs ezran having the entire castle staff to rely upon with centuries' worth of experience in handling the rule of a king.

and proven in the series, it's caused ezran to detach from callum a bit himself. how he thought callum's upset post-possession was about rayla and not the literal puppeting that had been going on. he was never able to see through his brother the way callum could see through ezran and that's likely intentional.

bait and zym are also like parallels to their relationship in a sense; ezran had accidentally batted bait away in his sleep and bait left, upset and a little angry -- until callum saw him and invited him to hang out with him. they don't have a connection like ezran and zym have (unless you wanna get super meta, since bait's sounds are made by jack desena), but they understand each other just as much as the king and dragon prince do. before that happened, however, bait was very clingy with ezran. see the connection?

they haven't abandoned each other, far from it. they've gotten more aggressive in their love, especially with the stakes raising and callum extremely prone to becoming a weapon. ezran would prefer to talk things out, though something tells me aaravos would rather have fun with his toys instead of discussing things. maybe the way they show brotherly love is different now, but callum knows what sacrifice he would have to make to protect his family, his brother. ezran doesn't want to lose callum, and is determined to find a solution that doesn't involve the loss of his brother. his only brother.

thank you for coming to my ted talk this was a massive brain dump that i just needed to get out haha! i'm a sucker for sibling relationships and theirs draws me in like no other.

[rei-ismyname]

From The Ashes: X-Men #5 Review

Spoilers, obviously.

A Journey to the Centre of the Mind Issue

Mambo number 5 is about as close to a bottle episode as it gets in comics, so the main question is 'does it succeed at that?' Cyclops appears briefly at the beginning and end, but he's not a main character per se. The focus is on Kwannon/Psylocke and Quentin Quire - two characters with little, if any history.

Let's assume this white lady is Kwannon, GRRR

It's nice to see Kwannon and Greycrow are still together, though he used to be a lot more attractive. I'm not talking about the weight he's gained, that's great. His facial structure is off - he looks like Kraven the Hunter. I don't think the art style is doing him any favours. They're having the same conversation they've always had so the Kwannon focus is off to a boring start. There's nothing here we haven't heard before, and she's not talking like a real person. Very writerly, like someone who's read the script and is telling us their blunt themes. Trauma stays with you and repeats itself over and over, but unless you're going laser focused on the subject you want to give us something new.

Okay that's pretty funny

Aside from that threat and Quentin saying 'kicks', nothing new here either. 20 pages is a very limited amount of space - I don't think this is the issue for using three of them to set up a smash cut joke. I'll come back to this intro. This mission is the reason these two weren't available last issue. A psychic rescue of Ben Liu, the dude they rescued in #2 and argued with Agent Lundqvist over in #3. He's in a coma and Cyclops tells them not to take their arguing into his head.

There's the 'aliens' he was projecting in #2, and Quentin thinks something is off. Kwannon is right, people usually use sign language and projection during psychic rescues/surgery. He disagrees, of course. The imagery is interesting, but again I feel like we're not learning anything new. I'd expect act 2 here to be more dense - it's a hyperfocused issue but the content is light so far.

Yes, he was experimented on. See what I mean? The art is showing the most blatant 'torturous experimentation by humans' imagery possible - is the most interesting dialogue possible to have them plainly state that? Or to have Kwannon just say she can't see something? This type of mission is an archetype at this point, so we've seen it done well before. Not just in comics either, this is a cartoon/sci-fi staple. People understand the premise, especially if you're economical in setting it up. I think it's a miscalculation to treat the new readers they're trying to hook like they need their hands held. Anyway, there's an entity of some sort - a psychic jack-in-the-box who looks and talks a lot like Cassandra Nova.

Except it straight up tells them who did the experimenting. Great security system lol, or maybe one that assumes they won't be able to tell anyone. 3K sound like overly elaborate dumbasses.

It goes straight for the jugular trauma. Quentin's fear of abandonment name checking his parents (who he accidentally killed, are we retconning that or is this his adopted parents? Probably the latter.) Also Wolverine and Phoebe, which are nice to see acknowledged as important relationships. And of course Sabertooth, who beheaded him and carried it round in a jar, using him as a tool to hurt his friends. It's both very effective and stuff he's mostly dealt with already. Maybe that's why it doesn't stop him for long. No mention of Idie, his oldest friend who's not very impressed with him? No mention of his guilt from X-Force war crimes or the hundreds of times he died? No mention of Krakoa, the loss every mutant should be feeling? Of course not.

Kwannon sees John Greycrow telling her she's wrong and killing himself, and that's it. She has wayyyy more hectic trauma than this so maybe it's fear or insecurity. Either way it feels very small - I love Greycrow and them together but she's a lot more than the relationship. She had a daughter who died, she was bodyjacked for decades, she's been terrorised by Sinister. This feels more like Greycrow's issues than hers. If this is followed up with them being super codependent then fine, it's worth the page space. Right now it feels like Quentin is the main character and Kwannon is a paper cutout. 'I can't' are words I'd expect from Quentin, but Kwannon keeps saying them this issue. If you're not doing it properly, maybe leave her outside as the anchor or something? Focus on Quentin so we get a deeper look under his hood, setup his arc for this run. Psylocke has a solo book coming after all, plenty of time to get to know her again.

Also, is that how Black Bug rooms work? The usage feels odd to me but I'm being hypercritical here. Weigh in if you know.

Quentin hears a psychic gunshot and snaps out of it. That was easy! Cassandra Nova must be losing her touch. I guess it's not the real her anyway, just an echo. Maybe she's not up to her old tricks and letting them know the name of the enemy was intentional. I doubt it, but we'll see. They use Quentin's Omega power and Psylocke's finesse on a psychic fastball special. His echoing of her threat to him as support is a serviceable callback, but it foregrounds Quentin again. Simultaneously too much and not enough, though at least it justifies her presence on this mission.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Is it just me or is that a shitload of blood on the ground? This is the last page, directly following the one I showed above it. Here's what we learned

- Benny Boy is awake.

- 3K are responsible for the adult X-Gene activations.

- On baseline humans, which might recontextualise a thing or two.

- Cassandra Nova is involved.

So a bunch of dipshits dug up an old villain for the fourth time and borrowed a scheme from the Ultimate Universe. Why? How? It'd be good to get Beast or Scott's reaction to that, but there's no room. There wasn't even enough room to show how Kwannon learnt this, but it's a pretty reasonable deduction. My earlier question was 'does it succeed at being a psychic rescue issue?' Just barely. It checks all the boxes but left a lot on the shelf. It took too long to get to act 1 for Kwannon beats that weren't worth it IMO. Yeah I want to know about her but having too broad a focus meant we arguably learnt more about Greycrow than her. We learnt nothing new about Quentin. The psychic rescue was setup last issue, I think starting in media res would have freed up 5-6 pages to put some meat on those bones.

X-Men comics have a long standing tension between new and established readers. 'Every comic is somebody's first' is admirable, but the patience of established readership is finite. I don't think it succeeds well at either, to be frank, and it feels like that tension is a factor. I think at some point you just have to tell the best story possible, otherwise we're left asking 'who is this for?' That's capitalism for you, always chasing growth often at the expense of creativity.

Also, KWANNON LOOKS FUCKING WHITE. She's Japanese. Do better, FFS.

I don't really vibe with numerical ratings, so I'll just say that X-Men issue 5 is totally skippable. The information will be mentioned again and the journey wasn't executed very well. What a shame. The art is okay, consistent with every other issue of this title, except for the whitewashing. It's got a lot of choices I don't love but I suspect they come from editorial (Quent and Cyclops' ages etc.) Thanks for reading.

[smidgingtonblogs]

Memory and Crowley

We can all agree that Crowley has an issue with memory, most commonly when it comes to people he knew from before the fall. The only angel he does seem to remember is Aziraphale.

What's really interesting to me, however, is how inconsistent and strange that memory loss is. Crowley remembers building nebulas and star systems, but not Saraqael. He remembers going to do dubious battle with 'Lucifer and the guys', but not that Furfur was one of 'the guys'. Even his recollection about falling is inconsistent, however this could be an avoidance tactic from trauma.

Crowley also seems to be the only demon with these memory issues, as no other demon is seen having them and Furfur even seemed genuinely hurt by Crowley not remembering him. If other demons had had this treatment, both Furfur and Saraqael might have been more understanding of Crowley's memory loss.

This tells us two things - what happened to Crowley's memory was not common practice (at least at the time), and it was not done cleanly.

So, what did happen?

I posit the theory that shortly before falling, Crowley either became aware of something, or saw something, he wasn't meant to. Whoever was involved or caught panicked and hastily took the memory of the incriminating event, accidentally taking other memories with them. This doesn't appear to be common knowledge, so whoever did it did so without authorisation. It may have even been the first time memories were tampered with, allowing angels to perfect the process years later.

So who and why?

There are a few suspects. Let's get started:

Saraqael - they know how to wipe memories and even seems eager to wipe Gabriel's memory during his trial. However, presently, there is no known motive.

God - if anyone could tamper with memory, it'd be God. And if Crowley learnt something about the Grand Plan, something that could destabilise the angelic order further than what the dubious battle did, she'd have notice to remove Crowley's knowledge of it. However, being God, it's unlikely she'd cause so much damage to the rest of his memory. It also doesn't seem like her M.O.

Speaking of M.O, let's talk the Metatron - removing Gabriel's memory was the Metatron's idea. If theories about Muriel are also proven correct, then there's precedent for this kind of behaviour. The Metatron, being the voice of God, might also be keenly interesting in keeping the Grand Plan a secret and might do anything to protect God's secrets. Or he might have his own Grand Plan that Crowley stumbled upon during what I'm going to call 'Question Time with A. J. Crowley'. The Metatron also seems to have a distinct dislike of Crowley, which Crowley doesn't actually seem aware of. If someone dislike me with the intensity of the Metatron for Crowley, I don't think I'd be quite so blaze about the guy walking into my friends bookshop and whisking him away to chat. Crowley genuinely seems obvious to the Metatron's attitude towards him, possibly unaware of any history between the two. Personally, I think the Metatron is the most likely culprit.

But let's look at one other likely suspect, the Great Adversary himself, Satan - again, Crowley could have stumbled upon a secret Satan had, possibly again during 'Question Time with A. J. Crowley'. This secret could have been to do with a possible connection between God and Satan, a fraternisation if you will. We're they colluding towards the Grand Plan? Wouldn't look good for Lucy's revolution, would it? Or that Satan didn't have any Grand Plan of his own, that millions of disgruntled angels had followed him into battle, and he was making it up as he went. This seems in character for the Good Omens Satan, honestly.

A lot of this is pure speculation, but I still wanted to share it.

Please let me know you're thoughts.

[weenierufu]

hrrrm.,,,,,,

I keep thinking about my Cog ocs, and just....

Mortis may not be that strong, he never was and only got a recent "Upgrade" when he ran into that Science toon that nearly exploded him, who then proceeded to do science stuff on him that basically got him to basically be less. Anemic, basically, KDJFGHD BUT--

Mortis can and would be willing to do whatever they Can do to help loved ones in anyway they can, even if the way they go about it is Extremely Unconventional and accidental. They're willing to do whatever it will take to avoid having to lose someone again, despite being extremely Cowardly

Before they were a Sellbot, all they were ever told when in Violent Encounters in the past was to Run, but when the Events of their story starts coming to a head, they're not going to be willing to run anymore. Although, he is painfully. Curious. That's out of context but, yeah

Sven, meanwhile, is a whole lot stronger. Actually the strongest PHYSICALLY in the group, despite being the Second shortest out of the group. Strong due to his upbringing and before he was even a Lawbot or an EMT at all. He knows he can fight, knows he can lift things that was bigger than he is. So, he uses this strength he has to Fight for those he cares about. Although, he will never be the first to hit and won't reduce to violence if it's not Necessary and would actually Prefer if he didn't have to fight at all. Well, if it's funny, then sure KJHSDLFKGJSH A little off topic, but He knows he's not that great at talking about his feelings or really be vulnerable, but obviously he's going to do whatever he Can Do to help those he loves. Sven is willing to throw himself into danger if that means he can help someone he cares about deeply. (looks at timer's character and laughs)

Josette as well, she knows she can be Intimidating with her height and is probably about the same strength as Sven, if not a bit stronger, just for her height. She's the tallest in the group and She can fight and will fight if it comes down to it, even if she doesn't really want too. But she does know when to run and will straight up pick up those around her and just run-- Example: she can pickup Guppy, Mortis, Sven, and PJ all at once tbh

Although, much like Mortis, she would deal with physical altercations, or generally unpleasant situations in unorthodox ways as well. Josette wouldn't really care if she ends up really hurting this other person. She will drop something on you if you happen to be close to something big and moveable. Or even bite you and she won't be sorry for it. Just because in her mind, it's justified if you had threatened or hurt anyone she cares about--

PJ is much like Mortis. They're both not very strong and are very cowardly Pascal and Jean would very much rather never get into physical altercations at all and will Avoid situations like that. Although, because of both of them being impulsive and reactive, they both might accidentally find themselves in a situation like that, much to their dismay. They know how to run and will use that skill to get away from situations. They will use that to their advantage to get those they care about out of Dangerous situations. But if those they care about decide to stay behind, PJ won't leave them behind and will stay with them, just in case.

Guppy is 6 to 7 years old--

BUT, they would be willing to find anything to help, if something was wrong. They have already experienced loss and doesn't quite understand Why it happened, but they don't really want it to happen again, so they try their best. They know a lot more than they really led on, even if they don't really Understand what the stuff they know means

But they'll bite you if you try to take them away from the group

---

And I just..... MAN.

I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL, AND THE OVERALL STORY WITH ALL 6 OF THEM AND I JUST.. AAUUGHH

It's hard to tell, but all of them are in a horror story btw KJHSDLKJGSD

[silver-heller]

Speaking of ships...

I am curious how you view the situation with Serafine and Mordecai, since your Mordecai has different experiences and therefore perspectives. So, I'd be interested in how he'd view that situation (being a fan myself and finding it of interest).

@mrslitmus

I think the huge difference can be summed up with; Silver's fake death changes a lot.

In the original comic, Mordecai was fired up by Atlas' death, and I personally headcanon Mordecai is at the Marigold to try and figure out what happened to Atlas. Atlas was so important to him and ultimately haunted his life both when he was living and in his death (I have rambled about their relationship in other places, so, I'll leave it at that. The added complexities in his relationship with Atlas is definitely a factor as well though). Meaning not only was Mordecai mourning, but he was pissed off and wanted revenge, something Serafine ultimately mocks and seems to lead to him hating her.

But, placing Silver's death before that, while it doesn't change the fact Mordecai still wants those things, makes Mordecai a lot more lost. That relationship meant so much to him, to the point he found himself seeking more independence from Atlas, an act he was originally hesitant over. Without Silver, that's suddenly drawn into question. He does what he thinks he should, but he's not fired up, his heart is not in it, he doesn't even know if it's the right thing to do.

He suddenly has independence, yet he is using it to continue to be right under Atlas' paw and, deep down, I don't think that entirely sits right with him. Especially when it goes directly against Silver's wishes, who was always terrified Mordecai would just become a clone of Atlas and, in a way, Mordecai is extremely conflicted, because respecting the memory of these two people in his life contradict one another. In this sense, Silver is very symbolic of change, of Mordecai opening up and finally going in his own direction (something Serafine builds off of), while Atlas is very symbolic of keeping the status quo, if not amplifying it, with Mordecai becoming the detached, cold businessman Atlas was due to all his grief.

Then, with Serafine and Nico seeing the weakest part of him while he's in this limbo (discovering the wedding wing he planned to give to Silver), Mordecai reveals, and repeats several times how he really feels, which is, "it doesn't matter". In this timeline, the worst thing has already happened to Mordecai. He lost both the loves of his life in different ways, along with his mentor, a rather polarizing figure but one he still did love (platonically) in the end, and believes it's all his fault. Nothing Serafine can do truly be hurtful at this point, no pain will compare to all the loss he has experienced at this point.

So yes, at first he's definitely pissed but, after that fades, he's practically begging to have someone unravel the secrets he's kept inside all these years and understand him. This is a task Serafine is happy to do, what she did proving to Mordecai she can take it, and she sees his sentimentality as more of a positive now that it is no longer a threat to her.

Plus, probably best to keep in mind Serafine and Silver are pretty similar in a lot of ways. Considering Silver almost, accidentally clawed Mordecai's face once in a panic, and Mordecai has seen Silver do far worse to their victims, what Serafine did or does is pretty mild in comparison. Serafine is overall a bit more "sane" and "down to Earth" than Silver is, which ultimately makes Mordecai less fussed about what happened. He views it as a failed strategic move on Serafine's part and nothing more.

Thanks for asking, this was fun to talk about and helped me put things into perspective!

[softschofield]

I'm really sorry if you're not active anymore but I was wondering, what do you think of Scho losing the hand that got cut getting infected (as wounds tend to do, esp after the kind of shit he went through) and him losing the hand or even the forearm if the infection was bad enough?

tw: mention of suicide, loss of a limb

i’m still hanging around my love, don’t you worry!! and i’m always happy to give my two cents on anything 1917 related :’) ♡♡ i, personally, am inclined to believe he would have been fine! it’s incredibly likely he would have developed tetanus from the wound, which has an incubation period of 3 to 20 or so days - but after routine prophylactic injections with anti-tetanus serum began to be given to wounded soldiers removed from the firing line in 1914, deaths/amputations from that particular infection dropped dramatically. to quote this abstract: 

“because of fatal serum anaphylaxis associated with administration of serum at a time when purification methods still needed to be improved, it must be presumed that tens to hundreds of men might have died as a result of the routine administration of anti-tetanus serum during WWI. yet anti-tetanus serum undoubtedly prevented life threatening tetanus among several hundred thousands of wounded men [and likely some women], making it one of the most successful preventive interventions in wartime medicine.”

just to put all that scho went through physically hand-wise in the movie: he cut it open on dirty barbed wire; crawled through mud and dirty water (manure, corpse, metal, etc-ridden) in the shell holes; put it through the chest of a decaying corpse; washed it out with water and bound it with a temporary bandage; had it packed with chalk dust; got it covered in blake’s blood; had it cleaned out properly by the river; touched it to bloated corpses; again got it covered in chalk dust; and then presumably had it disinfected and treated at an aid station. also add in the fact that his system was probably already compromised by the length of time he’d spent in the trenches. so he did get a fuck load of unsanitary shit (literally) in the wound, and that could definitely support the theory of a bad infection. 

but we had no evidence that a red streak moved up his arm, which would have indicated developing lymphangitis, and the time between receiving the wound and receiving treatment was definitely still within the safe zone. he also retained full mobility of his hand. 

losing the hand/forearm could definitely be a headcanon rich with potential and i’d love to see it explored (i can absolutely see rossi losing an arm, especially given how close he would have worked with electrical wiring, and them coping with their trauma together bc i feel like the loss of a physical part of him would genuinely drive scho to just giving up and suicide back home) (but it could open up so much softness and learning to accept and love themselves as they are and slowly learn that it doesn’t have to be something to mourn, and scho’s daughters would think it’s the coolest thing ever and-), but for me i think that amputation wouldn’t have been necessary. i do love the idea that scho’s hand never regains full feeling and gives him issues for the rest of his life tho ♡♡♡

[honeycombstrawberry]

if you want maybe you could do a headcanon thread of what Adrian would be like with his kids?

one of my FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE flavors of fanfic is kidfic I LOVE to give my fave characters kids ADRIAN NEEDS KIDS!!!!!!!!

ADRIAN WITH HIS KIDS HEADCANONS, LET'S GO!!!

when adrian was younger he always wanted kids and always thought he'd have a family but then it starts seeming nobody wants a family with him and he wonders if maybe it's him that's the issue

eventually he starts up as vigilante and the someday-dream just becomes a back burner thought, because it's not like he can go out as vigilante every night and disappear on missions and still be someone's dad

and besides, he figures-- this way, the only person who gets hurt if he fucks up is him. no partner he'd be upsetting, no kids he'd be letting down. if something happens, something happens, and nobody will know, and he decides he's going to have to be fine with that

when he finally is in The Relationship, the one he knows he's going to be in for the rest of his life, he starts thinking about it all over again, but he doesn't think it'd be fair to bring it up while he's still vigilante. he wants to be able to bring his whole self to this and he still thinks he's splitting himself apart

maybe you and adrian talk it out and decide to start trying to have a kid, or maybe you accidentally end up pregnant or something like that, but the bottom line is-- you get pregnant while he's still vigilante

when adrian first finds out that you're pregnant, he loses his fucking mind.

at first he's just like. completely at a loss. there's a big difference between thinking about this happening and this actually happening, and for a while it probably feels incredibly unreal to him that he's going to have a kid, that somebody wants to have a kid with him, that somebody is going to have him for a father. like it just totally melts his brain

once it processes though he's full-throttle hyped. like he could not be more hyped. his energy levels skyrocket and all he can think about is this kid and everything he wants to do to make the world better for them, which eventually becomes adrian's brain going, holy shit, we have to do as much as we can as vigilante so the world is as good as it can be for this kid

he doesn't actually realize how often he's going out as vigilante until you have to finally come to him and tell him that you're nervous and you don't want him to get hurt and you don't understand, does he not want this? why is he going out all the time? and adrian hadn't even thought about how this might look from the outside

when he explains himself-- that he's doing this because he wants to be a good father, that he doesn't know how to do that without doing this-- you have to explain to him that a good father is one who's there and supportive and loving, no matter what the world around them is like; the world will never be a completely good place, but he realizes he can make this kid's world as good a place as he can, for as long as he can manage it, just by being there

aaaaand then he throws himself full throttle into getting ready for your baby. like it consumes his every thought and in a vast variety of ways. he absolutely cannot wait and has a countdown until the baby's due date. he literally cannot take the anticipation and constantly talks to the baby like they're already here

he doesn't care at all what gender the baby is; he has absolutely no attachment or commitment in any regard, and when people ask him if he knows what you're having, he always responds "my baby!" with such genuine excitement that nobody ever pushes him on it

adrian is also like mildly beside himself with envy because he wants to have a close attachment with the baby. this is a man who wants so badly to experience motherhood like come on. he would want to be as involved in literally every part of this as possible just to be as close to the experience as he can and feel connected to them and you

anybody who comes with adrian's immediate vicinity during this time should expect to hear about pretty much nothing but a running stream of thoughts about his family. he keeps talking about what he thinks his baby will look like and what he'll name them and what their personality will be like and what they'll grow up to be and everything he wants to do with them. literally non fucking stop all the time

he is so excited that in the days before the baby does come he's pretty much constantly on edge. like he's more on edge than you are just. constantly trying to make sure they're okay and doing absolutely everything for them and getting more and more excited and terrified and more excited

he has a whooooooole fucking plan in place for exactly what hospital you'll be going to and how the birth will go and he keeps reassuring you he's going to take care of you. he's taken care of you the entire time already, so you know he'll do it here, too, and you trust him completely

despite all his planning, when you actually do have his baby, it's like everything he'd planned has completely flown out of his mind. you end up in labor for hours and he's going out of his mind by the end of it, frustrated that you're in so much pain and he can't do anything about it, desperate to have his baby here, upset that he has no control over the situation, to the point where he's in bed with you just holding you to reassure the both of you that everything will be okay and help you through it

when the baby's finally here, though? it's like literally none of that ever happened. a switch completely flips and he just so obviously and immediately falls in love with your baby. he wants to take the baby immediately, even though the doctors insist he can't just take the baby, they were born two seconds ago, stop that--

once he actually can have the baby, though, he never wants to let them go. ever. he only lets them go to let you hold them, and then he climbs into bed with you, holding you while you hold them. he's completely beside himself and keeps repeating that he can't believe this is real, how happy he is; keeps reaching down to stroke their cheeks, keeps telling them how much he loves them. he does the same to you, keeps telling you how much he loves you

he can't wait to be home with you and the baby and when you finally do go home, he's in full dad mode. he's been doing research for literally months and there are books all over your place, but he also keeps insisting that "learned knowledge is nothing without practical application" and then proceeds to do anything and everything he can for your baby all the time just so he can learn exactly what to do

he's the one the baby becomes most attached to. adrian like fully dedicates himself to learning which of the baby's cries mean what, to cataloging everything about them, just-- so dedicated to them all the time, and he loves them so much, and they can't help loving him completely in return. you really sometimes can't even handle the two of them together

it makes it like. a thousand times better that they look exactly like adrian. they have a couple of your features but really they look so much like him. his hair, his eyes, his mouth, his-- mostly, his everything, and the two of them together are so obviously a father and his child that your heart seizes just for seeing them side by side

for a while he just stays home and he doesn't know how to start going back out again as vigilante. at first he's nervous, and then he waits so long he doesn't know what to do. he ends up having to talk to leota about it and she helps him figure out how to balance doing this job and having a family at the same time

speaking of the 11th street kids they love your baby so much. they pretend to be annoyed by how much adrian has been talking about the baby, and how often he discusses them now that they're here, always showing off pictures, but, really-- this is this little family's first baby. everybody loves them so much. they constantly want to see them and hang out with them and they're always offering to take care of them

adrian eventually does start going back out as vigilante. he even works himself back up to going out with chris as peacemaker sometimes, and the 11th street kids, though he's more cautious than he used to be. he's still hopelessly reckless, moreso than mostly everyone else you see on the news-- but, for adrian, this is more cautious, so you'll take it, even if it is terrifying at times

he wants to spend as much of his free time as humanly possible with his kid. every second of every day. he's planning D&D campaigns with his baby in his lap and books and notes everywhere. he's patching up his vigilante costume and playing with his kid simultaneously. oh fuck wait--

adrian in a baby bjorn. he gets one and he's fucking obsessed with it. he loves wearing the baby and carrying them everywhere. one of his favorite things to do is match his outfit to the baby's and put them in matching hats and sunglasses and shit and go out together. bonus points every time if you do it with him (and you do love doing it with him). it's his absolute favorite thing to do

as soon as adrian can start teaching his kid things, he's teaching them things. he loves to watch them learn. teaching them to talk, teaching them to walk, teaching them to interact with others-- all of those are incredible, every milestone making adrian lose his mind. he probably scrapbooks and keeps everything in albums he makes in the house

oh he also takes a shitload of home videos, i just fucking know it

but wait back to what i was saying, he loves to teach them. and once they know the basics he's even more excited to teach them more. to teach them how to read and how to play. to show them movies and read to them and make things with them. to take them places and show them the world. teaching them to ride a bike and to make pancakes and to tell jokes. patching them up when they skin their knees. taking them on walks to the park. just fucking all of it, it's his absolute favorite

every year this kid gets older and learns more and can do more adrian loves them more and more. he dedicates himself to them all the time. he loves to talk with them when they start talking and analyzing and thinking coherently. from the moment they were born, he's been talking to them like they were an adult who could understand him; no down-talking baby-talk for his kids (even though he will sometimes do sweet voices. that's different though). and so when they start talking back and really engaging with him it's literally one of his favorite things ever

he works hard at trying to actually understand his kids no matter who they are. he trusts them and lets them talk to him about anything and everything and doesn't judge them. he knows life can be fucking hard and confusing and that people can be mean, but he remembers the promise he made himself before his kid was even born-- even when the world is a shitshow, their home with him and you never would be, and so he does his best to make sure they always feel happy and supported and loved by the both of you

he also definitely wants to have as many kids as possible. there's no way that he isn't begging for another baby the second the first one is born. he will have as many children as you will let him have and he will be overjoyed by however many that ends up being. he just wants a family so badly and he has so much love to share stored up inside of him

i'm a complete slut for like big family dynamics so i like to think of him having multiple kids with you. like call me crazy but imagine him with like three or four kids. dare i say five kids. i know it's wild but this is a fantasy world let me have this

adrian coordinating his children in matching outfits

adrian the dad who coordinates carpools and memorizes his kids' schedules and drives them everywhere in his dumb fucking minivan.

adrian who shows up at every. single. event his kids are participating in and loses his fucking mind screaming his head off, cheering for them, no matter what it is-- sports, theater, math, science, it can be absolutely anything, adrian is the loudest one there

a couple of the kids maybe even get into boxing or taekwondo or something and he's so excited by that. like he's supportive of his kids no matter what they do but when it's something he can teach them? he loves to do it

when his kids care about something or want to do something he tries to learn as much about it as possible. he wants to be a part of everything no matter what

if something happens to one of his kids, though? he would lose his fucking mind. it would be next-level, what he would do. if someone so much as pushes his kid around, he'd be pissed, but god forbid something worse ever happens to them-- if someone hurt them because he was vigilante, which is his literal worst nightmare, he would tear apart whoever did it until everybody knew what happened when you fucked with vigilante's family

adrian always wants you to all do things together, all the time. you and him and the kids constantly going out to do things together. he wants to show them everything.

he takes you all fucking-- like, apple-picking. he takes everyone on hikes. he organizes family D&D sessions. he is a family man. he is fucking dedicated to this.

oh my god i'm so sorry i just realized this is so fucking long this has so sincerely gotten away from me let me wrap this up

when adrian's kids start getting older, becoming teenagers and then adults, he is so upset that they don't really need him anymore, but he's so fucking proud by the people they all become. all his kids are a little different and they all have different paths, but they all love him, and love you, and love each other, and he thinks they're such incredible people that he sometimes can't even believe they came from him (he insists it's all you, but you know better)

eventually he realizes he's going to have to tell his kids about vigilante. maybe one of them finds something, or maybe one of them suspects something, but he realizes he wants them to learn it from him than from somebody else, or for his identity to be exposed, or something like that. so he has to sit them down and tell them one day, and he has to talk them through it, but they all are mostly unsurprised because this is their dad, he's always been him and nothing he does is really a surprise anymore

maybe one of the kids even ends up going into the "family business," as it were, and wants to become a masked vigilante, too, and adrian is absolutely terrified until he finds out they've been sneaking out on their own to do it anyways and they've been holding their own-- just like he used to do, just like he still does, and he realizes maybe his kids are all a little more like him than he ever realized before

he loves them all equally no matter what though. he has unique bonds with each of them. he loves spending time altogether as a family; he also makes sure each kid gets individual, unique attention and time from him, too

holidays are always such a fucking shitshow. he makes huge plans and then they always collapse but everybody always has fun anyways. that continues even as the kids grow up and grow older; even though they move out, they always come back, for holidays, for family dinners, sometimes just to hang out

oh my god when he has grandchildren? holy shit he would lose his fucking mind. oh my god imagining him as a grandfather is making me foam at the mouth something is wrong with me

okay i'll stop now but. adrian with his kids. he would be such a good fucking dad. he's a fucking nutcase but he's so dedicated and loyal and good. he would be a supportive awesome father. i just fucking know it

holy shit i'm so sorry that was so fucking long. and i still had more jesus fucking christ like i had to make myself stop adding things. i kept going back and adding m o r e

so obviously if anyone ever has any requests/prompts/what have you that have to do with kidfic or you want me to elaborate of any of the headcanons i've mentioned here. please. i'm begging you. go ahead and request it. i'm already skipping all over the place in my inbox anyways nothing matters anymore i'm just following my heart

and my heart knows adrian needs kids

-

adrian chase taglist:

@violetrainbow412-blog @bigassbisaster @amysuemc @sunflowerfive @papitas-con-sal @saturnngal @neptuneswritingwork @jewishdelis @myguiltypleasures21 @pinkygunslingy @violinchick @r3tr0sp3ct @chaseadrian @breathing-in-waves @rishlurh @x-milf-hunter-x @goblynnrockz @theowritesstuff @jaysfav @themartiansdaughter @dallasvakarian

[emeraldvagabond]

I don't know why people are still fighting over the Tamlin's redemption. I saw a few people saying that he will probably die and a heroic death can be his only form of redemption. I honestly don't think he needs a redemption other than genuinely apologizing to feyre and lucien for his behaviour. I don't want a step by step justification for everything he did. Just apologizing and improving should be enough... Don't you think? PS: Not really relevant but in my head, his mate is a therapist lol :)

I don't see why people think his only redemption can be death when Rhysand's redemption was crying into a bowl of soup about how, actually, all the trauma he caused was even more traumatizing for him.

Not to mention...I don't think dying, heroic or otherwise, is ever redemption. I think it's a shitty and easy write-off. I think people who think that's the only way he can ever redeem himself have very low expectations of sjm already. I think killing Ianthe was also a poor write-off. I think Tamlin realizing how he allowed her to abuse Lucien is a very vital part in own redemption and in repairing their relationship. I think her punishment should have been decided upon by them- ngl, because at every other point the Spring Court and Tamlin are Lucien's safe place, and Tamlin did ruin that by choosing Ianthe's word over his court, and by extension, over his friend. Tbh, i think if his character hadn't been retconned...Tamlin would have sent her away or killed her anyway, and Lucien would have never have suffered just for the sake of the court. But i'm off topic.

Like I was saying, death is never really a redemption arc, it's a way out of writing one. If someone dies a heroic death and gets forgiven...they don't actually have to go through the steps of earning forgiveness. They don't have to feel the guilt, or make their apologies, (and i mean real apologies...not spinning it to make themselves look like the "true victim" rhysand )they don't have to earn that trust back, they don't have to suffer the possibility of not being forgiven., because the truth is no one owes them forgiveness. They never have to look at the ugly parts of themselves, they never have to rebuild, they never have to reconcile.

So yeah, I think anyone dying for redemption is a shitty excuse to not put in the effort to create a redemption arc. Not to mention, Tamlin's already at the guilt part- which is further than Rhysand ever got. When you're truly sorry you don't spin the narrative in your favor, you acknowledge your wrongs, something that we have yet to see Rhysand ever do. And, if Rhysand, Eris, Cassian, Azriel, etc. can be redeemed? Absolutely so can Tamlin, and without dying. A true redemption- because he's truly sorry.

And- I think Feyre needs to accept her part in the fall of both Spring and Summer. Because Feyre doesn't owe Tamlin forgiveness but the flip-side of that is Tamlin doesn't owe Feyre forgiveness either. A redemption arc is going to be very hard when she wronged the entirety of two courts and refuses to admit to it because she's such a girlboss. Now, we already see that Tamlin is guilty and sorry for accidentally hurting her, and for putting the shield around the house...but giving an apology is a lot harder when the other person also hurt you, and the thousands of innocents under you, and continues to tell you and the whole world that it was actually your fault. That's not to say I think he wouldn't, because I think Tamlin gives very freely in the past books without expecting anything in return, but i think it's going to make a redemption very unfulfilling because it will be one-sided.

I also think it will continue to perpetuate this guilt he feels- I think Feyre and Rhysand will keep feeding into this depression he has over the loss of his people because they're fucking gross and that's what they do. I think, without Feyre's recognition of her role, that it'll be a "of so you know everything was your fault all the time," sort of thing they try to push. And I think Tamlin would accept that as truth, I think he already does.

The topic of a redemption is very difficult for some people cause they can't see outside of Feyre's POV, or around Rhysand's mf sick wings.(/j) so their first reaction is "he has to die!!!!1!111!!!!" without considering like....any other fulfilling possibility. It's very hard to look outside of the perspective we're given to recognize that...yes Tamlin did abuse Feyre, but he was also abused. And Feyre was also his abuser at points. Both of these narratives exist and can coexist. But it's hard to see that when we're only given Feyre's POV. To be honest, i don't think him and Feyre will ever truly reconcile the way I believe he and Lucien can and will, because Feyre will always have Rhysand whispering in her ear and telling her how to feel. Unfortunately.

also, i hope whoever his mate is, he gets to be happy in the end because he deserves it. I do like the idea of them being a therapist- or someone who works in an environment that makes them very practiced in emotional regulation and understanding. :P

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 5 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Guardians

Helloooo! Did you think I was done? No!

My PhD thesis chapters were approved last week, so have some celebratory meta. I haven't seen the latest Season 4 episodes, so do forgive me for not being up to date.

Welcome to the next part of my analysis of the basic concepts of Miraculous Ladybug. Today we are talking about Master Fu, Order of the Guardians and how little everything here makes sense. I highly recommend reading previous parts to fully understand this one, but I'll try to quote most parts of earlier posts.

Order of the Guardians

Order is an international and ancient organisation (New York Special showed us the guardian from North America and he was dressed like Su Han). Presumably, Miraculous jewels were created by these people. Guardians are responsible for the preservation of jewels and knowledge about them. They also distribute Miraculouses to worthy people around the world to combat mostly magical threats, but sometimes jewels are used against normal threats too. It's implied that Master Fu used Miraculouses during WW2 when he was in Paris. Perhaps he performed some spywork with Marianne, but the magical nature of his interferences was discovered and he was forced to flee, before returning to France many decades later.

Why does the Order need so many people to take care of a 3 Miracle Boxes? If its only purpose is to preserve knowledge, keep magical secrets and distribute Miraculous jewels then wouldn't it be more logical to have Master-Apprentice system? It's much easier to keep magic knowledge a secret and train a few people in martial arts than doing the same in the self-sufficient temple full of people, keeping in mind that a good part of them are teenagers and children, who are bad at keeping secrets. Also a single person can travel around the world much easier to give out Miraculouses. Imagine that we have a few active guardians traveling the world with Boxes. What do other people at the temple do in the meantime? They teach the next generation about the powers of each Miraculous and Mirakung Fu, but besides that?

Master-Apprentice system gives us more personal conflict between Fu and his mentor and makes his relationship with Marinette and Adrien more nuanced. In this scenario Fu accidentally caused the death of his Master at 14 because he wasn't careful. It makes sense for him to take on only 1 or 2 students if this is how things were done with Miraculous Guardians. This Wang Fu is very cautious and protective, he spent the majority of his life afraid of hurting someone else and never took an apprentice as a result. But now he is ready to try again, since he is not getting any younger and he likes these 2 kids. He wants them to succeed. Maybe Master Fu, becomes the father figure for Adrien in this situation and a guide for Marinette. Just think about it. This way writers avoid the need to develop all these extra characters (Su Han) and traditions related to the Order. All inconsistencies I mentioned before and later in this post are gone now! Hell, even memory loss and the changing of the Miracle Box shape could make more sense. We also raise the stakes post-amnesia, if it happens of course (the whole Season 3 finale didn't make sense, so stay tuned for my next meta). Marinette and Adrien are on their own now, there's no one who can give them answers. It's very fun scenario, which has potential to be brilliant. Any thoughts on that?

The existence of Order of the Guardians is not quite a secret, at least it wasn't in XIX century China. Master Fu in "Feast" says that guardianship was considered "a great honor". It implies that people who lived close to the temple of the Order knew about Miraculouses and what exactly guardians did for the greater good.

The existence of other Miracle Boxes around the world makes sense from a real-life perspective. Writers have the ability to create many stories set in the same universe and use them for merchandise and an almost unlimited amount of content. Judging by the unholy amount of specials in production, this is exactly what the creators are going to do. It probably won't go down well, but who knows?

However, it doesn't work in our main story. The main conflict is Paris-centred. Gabriel's motivations revolve around Emilie's resurrection and Season 4 gives us more reasons to suspect that Adrien's mom wasn't as wonderful as everyone says. Hawkmoth still remains the main villain of the show and most likely it's going to stay that way. There's no point in moving the main story to different places for the sake of introducing more Miracle Boxes from around the world. Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't needed to fight something halfway across the world unless Hawkmoth also changes locations.

LB and CN are centrepieces of this franchise. They brought success and money to ZAG. Creators constantly need to remind the audience that this new piece of media with new characters who will never be mentioned again is connected to Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Writers have to come up with reasons to include our heroic duo into the story even if makes no sense.

New York Special had to introduce American Heroes whose names rarely come up in the fandom because people stopped caring about them or their stories shortly after the release of the Special. I barely saw any content dedicated to them. In order to bring LB and CN into the story, you have to include Hawkmoth too. Gabriel suddenly needs to get his hands on the Eagle Miraculous and goes to USA. Marinette and Adrien suddenly have a class trip to New York. Unfortunately, their presence in this story is required only to expand the world of Miraculous and attract fans of the show, so that they could keep an eye on new content related to newly introduced characters.

In the end, it's not their story. Events of the special don't affect main story of the show and the development of the love square is merely an illusion, because Adrien and Marinette are no closer than before. In season 4 LB and CN are growing apart and their test of trust in NY Special doesn't matter. Perhaps, some people don't see it that way and it's their right, but I find it hard to see NYS as a valid contribution to canon. I mean, even people in large portion of the fandom state in the tags on AO3 that "specials are not canon", "specials didn't happen" or "ignores both specials". It speaks volumes about continuity and preferences of your fandom.

Shanghai Special didn't give us more information about the Order, which is located in China, history of Miraculous jewels. We still don't know much about how Gabriel and Emilie found Peacock and Butterfly. Maybe, Marinette's family had connections to Miraculous jewels. Maybe, Adrien does some snooping and discovers research his parents made while Gabriel is away. All of these are relevant to the main story. However, we got something much different in the end.

Marinette chases Adrien across the globe and they make new friends. Fey becomes Ladydragon and now has a direct contact with Marinette through her uncle. Gabriel's desire to get his hands on the Prodigious comes out of nowhere. Apparently, he had been planning this trip for years, presumably even before Adrien was born. It probably happened at the same time as Agrestes found 2 Miraculouses. He bought bracelet-key (which is also a Miraculous apparently, but its Kwami is a Guardian of the Prodigious and they existed separately for a very long time - and let us not dwell on this mess) from some shady mafia boss, who can easily find out just who Gabriel really is (fashion designer billionaire) and use this information to blackmail him. This Special didn't answer important questions, but it gave us a new superhero character.

The real question is whether Miraculous as a project will survive long enough for writers to create content for every minor character they introduced in all specials. This is only a beginning after all.

Miraculous is not a global show and it can't be globalised in a way that makes sense, at least with Ladybug and Chat Noir in the centre of action. Case closed.

Mirakung Fu

I liked the idea of Mirakung Fu introduced in "Furious Fu". It makes sense and things rarely do in this show. Miraculous grants its holder superhuman strength, stamina, endurance and ability to fight. This means that essentially transformed heroes are guided by magic in combat. There's nothing personal in the way Miraculous holders fight. You can predict their moves and learn how to fight this magic guidance, which is what Su Han does.

However, if the holder has any special training, skills or knows any martial art in their civilian life then they become more dangerous opponents during transformation because now their fighting is a mix of magical moves and their personal knowledge, tricks and style. Therefore, Adrien and Kagami as skilful fencers have more chances of winning against someone who knows Mirakung Fu than Marinette, for example.

Memory loss

At the end of season 3, we find out several things:

apparently, now Miracle Box can change appearance to suit its guardian;

when Guardian passes down the Miracle Box to someone else, they lose memories not only about everything related to Miraculous, but also about pretty much everything in their life (Fu doesn't recognise Marianne, instead he experiences the love at first sight)

Master Fu trains Marinette to be the proper holder and next Guardian off-screen. He says that her training as the holder is complete in "Feast" and wants her to become the next Guardian. Fu told her lots of things, and yet, he never mentioned the fact that he would lose his memory after relinquishing the box, nor the fact that Marinette would lose her memory afterwards. She finds out about this from Wayzz after the battle with Miracle Queen and the letter that Master Fu gave her. That's not proper training! How on Earth do you forget to mention this memory loss? How?

Master Fu's amnesia is a convenient plot device that removes him from the narrative almost completely. That's mostly all there is to it. Why? Because it doesn't make sense.

Fu was around 7 or 8 when he started his training. The disaster at the temple happened when he was 14. He stated that his training was never complete, which means that he never passed any magical ritual, never swore an oath or was bound by some kind of spell that made him subjected to the rule of memory loss.

Miracle Boxes belonged to the order, not Fu. Their design reflected their country of origin because these Miraculous were made and kept in China. They were just standing there on the shelves not magically bound to anyone in particular. When Feast attacked, monks just tossed Wang Fu the miracle box and grimoire. No one at the temple lost their memory after Fu took the box with him (Su Han is the proof). Su Han not only remembers Fu and his mistake but everything that happened that fateful day as well. In "Furious Fu" Marinette explains Su Han that Master Fu lost his memory in the very first conversation they have. However, after Ladybug and Chat Noir fight Su Han on the roof and escape with the Miracle Box, the latter searches for Fu and attempts to take his staff from him. In this scene, Su Han acts like Fu knows very well what is going on and who he is.

Su Han should be aware of the memory loss rule as the Celestial Guardian. He remarks on the different shape of the Mother Miracle Box and calls her "incorrect", which means that Su Han should have been able to easily tell that previous Guardian lost his memory and the Miracle Box is now bound to someone else. But he doesn't say anything. Moreover, since Su Han is supposed to know about amnesia, he seemed awfully chill about forcing this 14-year-old girl in front of him to give up the box and her memories. Hell, Chat Noir wasn't on board with this. But we get zero reaction from Su Han.

During the first conversation between Marinette and Su Han, he doesn't ignore what she is trying to say, instead he actively comments on every word. Even if Su Han didn't listen when Marinette told him about Fu's memory loss, than he still should be able to understand that Fu doesn't recognise him, because of common sense and the "incorrect" shape of the box. But nothing of the sort happens. Because writers apparently forgot that "memory loss" is supposed to be known to everyone in the Order. On-screen it looks like Su Han is not aware of the "amnesia rule".

"Furious Fu" makes the concept of memory loss a plothole no matter how you look at it. Just like "Timetagger" and "Chat Blanc", as well as "Kwamibuster" this episode is not consistent within itself. It does not surprise me, however.

Grimoire and Guardian Staffs

Let's talk about the Miraculous Grimoire. Good things first.

There are no illustrations of Miraculouses in camouflage. Kwami can't read its contents, only guardians can. Certain elements are written in riddles as an additional precaution. The book contains only the information people have learned so far, which means that Miraculouses have more unexplored potential ("Mr. Pigeon 72"). It describes powers of each Miraculous, provides information about weapons, has instructions for potions that don't make sense (see previous parts).

Unfortunately, everything is about to go downhill from here.

Guardians are taught how to read the writing in this book. They can read it just like people learn to read texts in a different language. This means that one can read Grimoire like any other book (you don't need to consult some guide to decode each letter or word). Master Fu proclaimed Marinette an almost fully trained Guardian. He should have taught her how to read the Grimoire then (he doesn't know the code very well, but he knew enough to understand the general meaning and content of the book according to "Collector"). He didn't. We don't know why. He shows her powers of every Miraculous but doesn't teach her the code.

Master Fu knows that Grimoire now belongs to Gabriel Agreste. He knows that it's dangerous for someone else to have it. If they knew how to read the Grimoire, they could discover all secrets of Miraculouses and harm Ladybug, Chat Noir and other heroes. It's very important to keep the information about the code top secret because Fu is not the only one with the source material.

What does he do then? Master Fu proceeds to write a French translation of Grimoire for Marinette, a translation that he doesn't even need. He carries it with him at all times on a tablet (without any precautions) just like the Miracle box after "Feast". Naturally, it means that in "Miracle Queen", Gabriel and Nathalie easily managed to get their hands on the tablet and Miracle Box. It allows the plot to happen, sure. But it doesn't make any sense.

"Furious Fu" created another curious plot hole. It will probably be ignored, of course. Su Han has a staff with a magical compass that allows him to find any Miracle box, but not the Miraculous jewels for some reason. How does the staff work? Can it locate the box without the Miraculous? If yes, then it seems useless. What's the point in the ability to locate an empty box? If it can locate the box only with the Miraculous jewels inside, it implies that the staff can track the location of every Miraculous too. So, Su Han could just locate the Butterfly and Peacock without any problem. But he talks about reassigning Ladybug and Black Cat to adults and defeating Hawkmoth like locating the Butterfly is not possible. This situation makes the Guardian Staff a simple plot device that creates plot holes and its only purpose is to explain how Su Han found Marinette.

Also, I have a few more words to say about this. Master Fu had a Guardian Staff that was never mentioned before. I wonder why? That's because the staff didn't exist before "Furious Fu" was written. Writers just went: "Do you know what would be cool? If Fu's cane was really a secret Guardian Staff with a compass all along that he decided to keep even after he lost his memory? It would make people wonder whether Master Fu is faking amnesia, and everyone will definitely call him an awful mentor after this even though we kind of tried to make him a good and responsible person."

Fu didn't give it to Marinette and didn't mention it to her. Why? When he gave up his memory, he should have written about this in his letter at least. Why did he decide to keep it? He can't use it anyway now.

Please note how in the flashbacks Fu didn't take any staff with him when he escaped the temple. Su Han seemed to know how Fu's staff looked like. It means that Master Fu didn't make this staff himself, because it belonged to the Order.

Su Han wasn't even surprised that Marinette didn't have the staff as the current Guardian. Was she not supposed to have it? He never questioned the fact that the former Guardian without memories has the staff. Su Han actually returns this staff to Fu after he is deakumatized and Fu acts like they have never met before. Why did Su Han gave the staff back when he knows what it is and to whom it should belong (to him or to Marinette as the current Guardian)? The staff is useless in the hands of the civilian. Does Marianne know about its secret? We'll probably never find out, unfortunately.

Guardian Staff of Master Fu has a compass too and therefore this also makes it a plot device, just like Su Han's staff.

[suganovakawa]

𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , platonic hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

WARNINGS : cursing , implied car accident , amnesia recovery

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐗 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 .

your first day back at seijoh doesn’t seem so bad . . . but that boy at the window sure does pique your interest .

word count : 1.4k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀"hajime, was i always this... popular?"

⠀unsure of how to accept a bouquet of flowers from an unknown face as you and the only friend you could confide in walked through the halls of the vast school, your mind was only left to ponder aimlessly. did you always think this school to be so big? maybe it was because you had no recollection or memories of this place, that it seemed like a never ending corn maze.

⠀"well, word travels quickly, y/n. everyone here is worried about your safety. we're all glad you're back, safe and sound." you turned to the male walking beside you, his hands loosely stuffed in his pockets. that same gaze turned to the flower bouquet held tightly in the embrace of your arms, echoes of well wishes and greetings filling your ears as you struggled to find your classes. iwa was assigned to be your personal guide until you got the gist of the seijoh halls once more, and he made sure to make it crystal clear he was your go-to guide incase you needed some assistance with anything.

⠀"i feel guilty, not being able to remember anyone..." your voice hushed into a whisper, only loud enough for hajime to decipher. "everyone i've spoken to is so nice, i wish i could at least remember everyone's names to thank each of them properly." every time anyone reached your vicinity, hajime was the one who had to inform you of their name before they approached the two of you. you had to explain of your amnesic situation, to which each of them understood... to an extent.

⠀you'd always get a mix of emotions in reaction to such horrific news, depending on the person. many shown pity, while others attempted to empathetically understand your frustrations. a select few were skeptical upon first hearing the news, but there was nothing you could be lying about. amnesia wasn't something to be joking about; at least, you found no reason to joke about it. the way it erases your mind of your precious memories with those you love and cherish is cruel in its own right. you remember how distraught your parents were when you had no recollection of their faces. you believed them to be your family, as you assumed they had no reason to lie, but that was as far as credibility went.

⠀hajime was a tremendous help through it all, too. after his first meeting with you - when you awoke from your supposed coma, he brought in a large group of boys, around the same age as the two of you. though their names were a blur, the one thing that stuck out to you was when they each thanked you for being their volleyball team manager.

⠀the aoba johsai volleyball club team. that's who they were to you. could a team really be so tightly bonded they'd even visit a mere manager? the thought of it humbled you, and your heart felt fuzzy. you were able to smile genuinely once more, bringing joy to the boys' faces. though their visit wasn't that long, you were able to remake some friends, and maybe met new ones before returning to seijoh.

⠀you snapped out of your daze as you accidentally bumped shoulders with another student, flinching at the sudden contact. hajiime reacted to your movement by looking to see who you bumped into, but it was too late for him to speak up first.

⠀"watch where you're going, will you? damn." he snapped at you as his nasty glare stared you down, his posture slouched over and grumpy. even with an appearance as unique as his - bleached buzz cut, darkened eyelids, and two brown stripes on both sides of his head - no name came to mind. his intimidating aura worked on you all too well, and your mouth clamped down nervously, since it technically was your fault you hadn't paid attention to where you were walking.

⠀"kyoutani." there was a bark, to which both you and the strange male looked towards hajime, whose glare was darker than the other's. "don't talk to her like that. it's y/n."

⠀as if it was some sort of special cue, kyoutani's snarl lightened oh so slightly, his eyebrows arching upwards as he cleared his throat before looking at you once more. "oh, y/n." his voice lowered to a mumble, "sorry about that. glad to know you're back in one piece." in astonishment towards his abnormal attitude change, you weren't able to say anything in reply as he quickly shuffled past the two of you and disappeared down the hall.

⠀"who was that, hajime?" you were freaked out about how easily iwaizumi was able to change such a grumpy attitude with just a snap and your name. were you a sensitive topic to talk about amongst the students? sure, your accident was pretty bad, but it could've been a lot worse than memory loss, right? amnesia was probably the luckier gamble of the entire situation.

⠀unless if there was something else he hadn't informed you of already?

⠀"oh, don't mind him. he was part of the volleyball club team, too. he's just more on the... lone wolf side. he doesn't interact with us that much." he only shrugged at your curiosity. "he knows of what happened, and it's nice to know he has enough manners to wish you well."

⠀there were so many questions you wanted to ask him; the problem was, you didn't know where to start. there was that standing fear of overwhelming him with too many inquiries, too. just how much did hajime iwaizumi know? what doesn't he know? he seemed to be capable of informing you of everything that you'd need to know, but even if there was anything he was hiding under the surface, you would have no notion or clue as to what it was.

⠀and while you were eternally grateful for his presence and overwhelming kindness, your curiosity of rediscovering everything continuously poked at the back of your brain. maybe when you got back on your feet, stable enough to figure out things on your own, hajime would let up and see things for yourself. for now, you were content with him being at your beck and call - whether it be for better or worse.

⠀"we're here." you filled your lungs with a sharp inhale as hajime opened the door for you, reintroducing you to your first classroom of the day. seeing your nervousness, the brunet merely smiled comfortingly, placing a hand on your shoulder before looking to the others, who were trying to hide their curiosity in seeing you standing under the doorway. "there's no one you should be afraid of, y/n. you sit next to me anyway, so you'll be fine."

⠀"thank you, hajime." there was nothing to be afraid of, he was right. why were you hesitating? there was no need for that self inflicted worry.

⠀two empty desks stood side by side as majority of your classmates rose from their own to greet you the moment you stepped in. unfortunately for you, there were too many people reaching for you all at once, so hajime was a bit behind in naming all of them for you. as much as you tried and appreciated their concerns, all you really wanted to do was just sit down and let everything sink in. today was going to be a long day.

⠀"oikawa, are you not going to say anything to y/n?"

⠀oikawa?

⠀your head turned at the name, noticing how a small bunch crowded a single desk in the back of the room, their faces less than pleasant as they glared at the lone male sitting by the window. an uneasy knot grew in your stomach as you caught glimpses of the student; you ignored hajime repeatedly calling your name, instead focusing on the boy sitting in the back of the room.

⠀why was someone so attractive sitting all the way in the back like that? alone, no less?

⠀the male ignored every advance towards him, and the students who ganged up on him had no choice but to back away, grunting in their failure as they plopped down in their own desks. you, however, still felt strange. oikawa... there was no ring to it, just as everyone else's name was in aoba johsai.

⠀but you couldn't deny it, he was the one.

⠀and such a thought was solidified the moment he turned from the window to gaze into your eyes. it was only for a second, but that stare meant something; you could feel it.

⠀oikawa...

⠀the first one to see you when you woke up.

a / n : writers block hurts so much i deeply apologize for the absence 😭 i’ll def be updating more frequently now , don’t worry !! n don’t mind me crying over this chapter , casually crying as i write this on tooru’s birthday— happy birthday sweetie

saudade taglist : @ot127 @rena0921 @karlitabi-rrito @psychicpercyjacksonfan @crescentbitch @amelimiles @damnirina @pasta-warlord @blossomingbangtan @clinomanians @i-am-kinda-in-a-lot-of-fandoms @manq-fandoms @cirtruss @sugar-wara @haikoo @anime-simp @kairostatue @awkwardspontaneity @iwantapoptartqwq @aquariarose @softestdreamer @plantisnotplant @avylee @froppysgirl @that-animebitch @wisepandaslimeland @samanthaa-leanne @dumplingzumispam @0hakaashi @captain-janeway @afterglowkuroo @bellabelieveme @attixc @chickenrest @tycrackculture @ynjimenez @lissa-writes-and-does-matchups @lavieenblancetnoir @dabilove27 @cuddlesslut @crypto-s

taglist closed !

[add-the-account-yourcosmicguide]

Lunar Magick : Waning Gibbous Moon 🌒 in Taurus ♉♥✨❤💖😍♉♥✨

& SHADOW WORK

With the Moon in Taurus we are motivated by the desire for serenity, security, peace, and comfort. The Moon is very most sensual and constant in Taurus. You may feel like you want to relax, resist change and “stop to smell the roses”. Life slows down a little, and we get comfortable. We may also be inclined to stubbornness and materialism.

Patience, diligence, perseverance and practicality are on the increase. The Moon in Taurus favours occupations which demand prolonged and persistent effort, but it is also good for complete rest in comfort and coziness. It is best to avoid undertaking anything which requires quickness, decisiveness and quick-wittedness. This Moon generally favors financial activities or applying for a loan, beginning a potentially long-term relationship, music and home decorations.

For me, there is no season for shadow work. Although of course the colder, darker months bring forth the more obvious associations and move people to journey within, Spring and Summer call to me just as much because I know that the work never really stops. I 'keep my hand in'. I want to be practiced and ready at a moment's notice because, hell - when you catch your shadow in action and you're thrown off guard, you need to have those tools sharpened and prepared. I never want shadow work to be something that's gone rusty for me.

Sometimes we can know that shadow work is needed but feel unable to pinpoint exactly what the issue is. We just know that we feel, well, 'shadowy' about stuff. Perhaps this is you right now. Maybe you don't feel like yourself at the moment. Maybe you're making harsh judgements, feeling rejected and resentful or just finding yourself trying to please others and play up to their expectations. Maybe you're reading this blog post because you're trying to ignore the big project you keep saying you'll begin or the business you really want to start. Sometimes you get that 'not quite right' feeling but you're not sure how to describe or confirm what's going on. I think that's one of the best times to do a little shadow work journalling. Clarity knows when you're looking for it, and it often rewards your searching by showing up! (Sometimes in a very unexpected place!)

So, whether you're actively engaging in shadow work now or you feel like you need to but dunno where to begin, these challenging journal prompts are for you. (They are also for anyone who just happens to read through them and thinks one of them might be just the ticket for some random self-exploration. Go for it!)

1. How judged do you tend to feel on a daily basis? Explore how much of that perceived judgement is real and how much is imagined.

2. Take a look at the best and most enjoyable aspect of your life right now. What is your underlying fear in that area and why?

3. Write about the last time you tried to manipulate a situation to your advantage and examine how you feel about that in hindsight.

4. Describe a scenario in which you feel that competition could be healthy and productive. Then describe a scenario in which competition could be toxic and unproductive. Finally, write about your emotional response to this exercise.

5. What does it feel like to have your emotions belittled or downplayed? Be as descriptive as possible and try writing about specific examples from your own life too.

6. Pinpoint something that's really frustrating/upsetting you at the moment. Then try writing an uplifting, beautiful poem about it!

7. Write about the last time you ran away from your responsibilities. Consider why you did that and what the results were.

8. How can you begin to give other people more space and acceptance to be themselves around you?

9. Whereabouts do you tend to expect other people to conform to your beliefs? (And what scares you the most about allowing people to have their own beliefs in that area?)

10. What does the term 'superiority complex' bring to mind for you and why?

11. If you could say one thing to the person who's hurt you the most right now, what would it be and why?

12. Consider yourself at your worst - at a point where all of your most negative and disruptive traits have come to the surface. Capture that version of you in your mind. Then write a letter of love, understanding and compassion to that version of you. (For extra credit: Read the letter aloud to yourself whenever you feel like you've turned into a bit of a monster!)

13. What does the word 'punishment' make you think of right now and why?

14. Write about the different ways in which people have expressed their anger or resentment in front of you over the last few months. What do you notice about their different modes of expression for these emotions?

15. What's the one thing you know you need to do but keep avoiding? Write it down. Then write a step-by-step description of actually doing it. Include every action which would need to be involved in order to get it done. At the end of the exercise, explore how you feel.

16. When was the last time you witnessed distinctly self-destructive behaviour, either in yourself or in someone else? Describe it and the emotions you had at the time.

17. What was the last cruel thing you wanted to say to someone in order to make them feel bad about themselves or their actions? Write it down and then explore your feelings about it.

18. Whereabouts do you currently feel isolated and how are you dealing with that emotion?

19. Write about the biggest experience of loss for you so far this year.

20. What do you currently envy in someone else's life and why? (For extra credit: What kinds of emotions come up when you imagine yourself having access to the thing you envy?)

21. At the top of a blank page write the following words, 'My insecurity is my teacher.' Then fill the page up with your responses to this sentence - whatever comes to mind, honey!

22. What does it feel like to be completely discouraged by someone's words? Be descriptive and consider writing about personal experiences of this in your own life.

23. Why is it sometimes difficult to tell the difference between someone saying something intentionally mean and someone just saying something accidentally thoughtless?

24. What does the term 'constructive criticism' make you think of and why?

25. Which emotion do you tend to deal with in unhelpful/destructive ways? Write about the way you usually deal with this troublesome emotion. Then write about what your life might be like if you dealt with it differently.

Keep in mind that these journal prompts are designed to be ball-busters. I like to create journalling tools which feel like a little bit of an uphill bike ride with an increasingly steep incline, so feel free to dip in and out, stop on the side of the road for a rest or take things slowly. These prompts are not designed to be done in rigid order or completed in their entirety either. Feel free to select a couple and see how you get along. No pressure. If you're even considering one of these prompts as an exercise, that means you're showing up in a big, bold way and, baby - I salute that shit, for real!

[sword-brainrot]

Oh, um! May I request a matchup? I know these can be draining to do so feel free to skip me if you want!!

So, um hi! Im a 19 yo translation student! Everyone uses she/her when talking to me, but you can use whatever you like, I dont mind pronouns! Im really shy and kinda anxious when talking to people, but I'm completely see-through ;; cant tell a lie to save my life haha Im super curious abt practically anything and I love to learn new things! When I have to get work done, I make sure it looks shiny and perfect! (even tough I procastinate on it until there's almost no time left,,,,) I prefer indoors because loud sounds make me somewhat panicky??;;;; and in my free time I play games, learn useless stuff and sleep... y'know, the usual ^^;

As for what I'd like in a parter.... I want someone who cares about me ;; I know it may be a bit too much but I guess I can dream right? :') As for myself,,,, idk id be a completely mess ;; Im good at listening I think! but when it comes to affection Im at a loss and I just get embarrassed,,,, I blush at everything and when Im put in a spot I try to laugh it off ;;

Um, also... Im sure you already noticed but I have some self issues so you may want to take this into consideration???? maybe???? Im sorry I had to bring this up;;; i tought it could help you get a better picture of myself haha???? uuu;; (um also i apologize for this huge wall of text, i know its all over the place.... dont know how to organize it;;;;)

Oh, and I don't care about sword types nor I have a preference! I love all the slashy boys equally ♡

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it 💖💖

Oh I would never skip your request! If I ever get drained, I would take a small break. I wanna do your requests dear! Feel free to request as much as you want, I have a blast whenever I can write and make someone smile because of it. Don't worry about bothering me or anything, seeing requests always makes me smile and excited to write 💖🌺

I Match You With...

🌸 Ishikirimaru 🌸

♡  Ishikirimaru is a very calm and friendly guy, he would understand very well how scary social interaction can be for some people. He would never push you too far and make sure he knows your limits. He would offer you to have tea with him or help him clean just so you both can bond together and let you know what he does want to be around you. He doesn't mind if you don't talk much because you are shy! Ishikirimaru doesn't talk too much in general but doesn't mind starting the conversation and having a short discussion about things that may interest you or your thoughts on things.

♡  Don't worry about ever making him angry or annoyed, it is very hard to do that. He is very easy going and cares a lot about other people. The only way he would ever get actually angry at you is if you say something insensitive about how people's lives in war don't matter or something along those lines. He was a sword kept in a temple that often got prayed to for healing the warriors who came back from battle with deadly wounds. That is the only thing that would actually get under his skin. He cares a lot about the people around him and even the people he doesn't know, he prays for all of their well beings. Even yours. He cares about you a lot as well and will tell you often that you matter to everyone. He is aware that you would never say something to upset him on purpose. As long as the two of you talk it out and apologize to each other, he will forget it even happened. He wouldn't let one slip of the tongue to ruin the relationship.

♡  He tries hard to make sure he never upsets anyone and thinks over his words carefully, but even he makes mistakes and words don't come out how they planned. He will make the most effort to apologize and make sure his words didn't hurt you badly. If they did, he would spend hours on end talking it out and making sure you know that he would never mean anything that would hurt you. He cares about you a lot and your smile is his favorite.

♡  Ishikirimaru might be a little pushy when you talk badly about yourself. He loves everything about you and it hurts him when you think you are lesser than everyone. He will often try to stop you before you go too far with talking down upon yourself and give you plenty of compliments, even if they embarrass you. He wants you to know that you are deserving of love and that you are much better than you give yourself credit for. You have your own talents and people cherish you for being you. They want you in their life because you are you.

♡  "Aruji, I haven't been human long but I understand that being human is a complicated task. The mind can be a cruel one and the deadliest thing to our souls. My words may not mean much but please trust me when I say that you like you for you. You will see things you do not like about yourself because you are stuck with yourself constantly so you will pick up things that others will not. We are all hard on ourselves. Life is even worse on us. So take a deep breath and let yourself receive a little kindness. You deserve it. You give out so much to everyone so you need to know that it is okay to love things about yourself and be proud of who you are. You will make mistakes and not everyone will be your friend but that is okay, because you are human and you have your own life. Surround yourself with people that will love and appreciate you for who you are now. I love and appreciate you for who you are, aruji. So.. Don't be so hard on yourself, alright? It hurts my fragile heart when I see you beat yourself up for small mistakes. It's okay to stumble at times, just get up again... okay? I'll lend you my hand as well."

♡  As you can tell, Ishikirimaru is a very good listener. His whole life as a sword was to listen to those of the pained and give guidance. Even if he couldn't exactly do that in his sword form, he can do that now! He will listen to everything you have to say. Don't be shy to ramble to him. He will give you a happy smile as he listens. Tell him about the things that make you happy, what make you angry, what makes you laugh, and what makes you sad. Ishikirimaru will be right by your side, offering tea and a shoulder if you need it. You aren't alone and he will make sure you know that you don't have to face these thoughts alone.

♡  Just as how you are see through and can't lie, Ishikirimaru has a similar issue. He has a very hard time ever lying and chooses to never lie. The only time he will lie is if it is to protect others. He will often put himself in the painful position in missions so others don't have to face the hardship. He tries to not do it often because he knows that people care about him and he doesn't have to face things alone, but he would rather not see anyone sad if he can help it!

♡  He finds your embarrassed face the cutest thing in the world. Don't be scared to tell him to stop if the compliments become too much for you to handle! He will laugh it off and apologize for going too far with his comments. As stated above, he doesn't lie. So just know that every compliment he gives you is a very sincere comment that he means with his whole heart. Ishikirimaru doesn't need much affection, as long as you show that you simply care about him, he is happy. He would like to hold your hand from time to time but otherwise, he wouldn't force you to do anything you don't wish to do. Go at your own pace in the relationship, he won't rush you!

♡  Ishikirimaru will tell you anything you wish to learn! He might not have a library of knowledge of the past due to being stuck in a shrine for most of his life but he had also studied and learned about the history he came from. If you take an interest in his prayers and religion, he would gladly tell you all the tales he is aware of and teach you the cleansing sermon he often does to give positive spiritual energy. It is something that brings him peace of mind and makes him happy to talk about, so if you are willing to learn about what makes him who he is today and what makes him happy, he would be overjoyed to share all his knowledge to you.

♡  He understands very well the appeal of getting work done to the best of your ability and making it look the best you can. He wouldn't label himself a perfectionist but he does want to do the best he can. Often with cleaning. You will often see him stuck in a room all day because he wants to make sure it is spotless before he comes out and continues work else where. Though... by the time he is done... It is dinner time. Perhaps the two of you could work together and get work done to the point you are both happy with it.

♡  Ishikirimaru is also someone who happens to stay inside for the most part. The only time he goes outside would be to enjoy tea in the sun or if he has to work the field/horse keeping. Ishikirimaru is a very soft spoken and gentle man so you don't have to worry about him every raising his voice and scaring you. If there is ever a loud noise, whether it is other swords or a storm outside, he will gently hold your hand and try to calm you down. He will assure you that it's okay to not like loud noises but he will make sure that nothing hurts you. He will even try to lead you away to somewhere that may be a little more quiet. Giving you a distraction to get your mind off the noise. He wants nothing more than you to feel comfortable and safe.

♡  Depending on the game, he may want to play with you! He tends to like card games even though he is very easy to read and often loses. He tends to laugh about it after when he realizes that he was accidentally showing his hand every time he set down his cards to get a sip of tea. If it's video games, he would prefer to just watch you play and talk to you while you enjoy the game. He isn't the biggest fan but still enjoys to watch! Ishikirimaru is a pretty good teacher! So if you wish to study with him, he would be flattered that you wished to study with him out of everyone. He is very understanding that some material is hard to memorize out of no where. He would just softly correct you and tell you to work on it a little more. He rewards you with sweets every time you do really well on any test he gives you to test how much you remember.

♡  Ishikirimaru would be the most understanding and gentle partner. He wants nothing more than you being comfortable and happy. He would work hard on you slowly forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and love yourself a little more. He would never give up on you and be there if you ever needed.

[imma-potatoo]

Blond Janus Darkside Headcanons

I noticed how I haven't written down any info on the dark sides (Wrath, Apathy, Depression, Remus and pre-AA Virgil). More will be added.

Masterpost

Taglist:

@mother-snake, @writerstrashbin, @psychedelicships, @cryptidwriterdotcom (ask to be removed or added)

Wrath

Leader of the dark sides

Can induce a blind rage

When the rage is happening the recipient cannot control what they say or do and react simply on their first thought

The rage becomes stronger the more angry the person becomes

Wrath can't bring someone out of the rage. He can induce it but the person has to come out of it themselves

He has almost no control of Apathy because of that due to his lack of emotion

Likes to wear a partial suit. Finds that the coat is restricting and makes more complex movements hard

Still owns the coat. Just never wears it.

Symbol is tattooed on his left wrist

Orange and black color scheme. Like this:

Immediate reaction to almost anything is to yell.

Loves huge parties

If he's going to make a point, he makes it loud and clear. Often in front of other people so they can see what happens if you step out of line

Rules the dark sides more like a dictatorship then a family or of equel footing

Believes that they have to bend Thomas to their will and that the light sides are complete fools who will only destroy Thomas life

Wants Thomas to take what he wants and not to worry about who he leaves behind

If Thomas has to kill a politician to get what he wants? Sure go ahead. As long as he gets what he wants

When angry, Wrath is ruthless

He'll take your deepest fear and taunt you with it until you snap under the strain and comply to his every whim

He refuses to take no for an answer

Because of his hatred for the lights; he takes it out on Janus

He's big on public humiliation

If Janus would step out of line; well, he doesn't need all of those scales does he? He's sure Apathy would love to see the reactions if you rip some off

To aid in the control of the others; Wrath has complete control over the food supply

When the others are listening and followings orders. Good, they get to eat properly

When they don't? Your options are moldy bread or cheese that has been out in the open for about a month.

Him and Apathy eat like kings while the others decide between food poisoning and starvation

Likes to take words of affection and make them have a negative meaning (ex: the word Love.) after beating the hell out of someone, he would make them look directly in his eyes and says that he loves them... And he makes them say it back

He hates it when the others cry

Says that they're doing it for attention and that they should shut the fuck up

Apathy

Second in command

Can nullify peoples emotions. Leaving them feeling like an empty shell. The effects normally break after an hour

If Apathy knows your name he can control you like a puppet

White and black outfit. White shirt with black suspenders and pants.

Doesn't show where he keeps his symbol (its on his right ankle, its more like a tattoo then a patch)

Has a deep obsession with fire

Owns a zippo (a lighter that flips open)

Often feels empty due to his function. The fire makes him feel warm, feel more human (as human as the sides can be anyway)

Doesn't quite understand emotion. He understands the basics of it (cry = sad, laugh = hqppy, yell = angry.) but the more complex reactions confuse the hell out of him. Crying out of happiness is one of the things he will never understand.

Because of his lack of understanding of emotions; Apathy tries to understand through making others feel said emotions

Wants to know how someone would react when you break a precious item? Time to find a couple photos.

Will someone scream when you waterboard them? Hm well, only one way to test that.

Opinions change like a flip of a switch

One day he'll help you make dinner with a plastered on smile. The next he'll knock you out and burn you with his lighter with that same smile

Has only properly laughed twice

The first time was when Thomas accidentally laughed at someones funeral (he couldn't cope that the person was gone and his default reaction was to laugh)

The second was after the three of them (wrath, depression and him) shut off the heating to Janus' room and locked him inside

In order to understand things he doesn't know; he does experiments

He's not allowed to experiment on Wrath and Depression has no fun reactions. So he has his fun with Janus instead

Kinda likes it when blood stains his dress shirt

Because its warm. The warmth that once came from the person now belongs to him and it eases the cold empty feeling only slighty and temporary but its warm

He's indifferent on the lights. They're a little too perky for his tastes

Depression

Third in command

Doesn't really get a lot of say with decisions

Can erase certain memories (he doesn't use it very often)

Wears a medium blue dress shirt, brown leather suspenders with a black bowtie.

Normally keeps his sleeve rolled up

When crying; his eyes leak black

If the tears hit your skin, its a 10% chance that you could collapse and start spewing your insecurities while your eyes leak black

Symbol is on the back of his neck

Doesn't really mind not having the control that Apathy and Wrath have

Less work for him to do anyway

Couldn't care about the other twos blatant abuse of Janus

He sees it as a way to keep Janus in line

If Virgil wanted to play father figure he can go ahead. But that doesn't mean he has to be kind

Respects and looks up to Wrath

Normally just follows the lead of the others

He's the epitome of the duckling following the leader

Wrath has steak and potatoes for dinner? Depression also wants that too

Wrath says that they need to bend Thomas to their will? Well duh! Of course!

Wrath says that Janus has been out of line lately? Well why don't we break his leg again to show him a lesson

Most of the time, the food restrictions have no effect on him bc he listens to Wraths every word

Virgil

Was the second in command before he left

Opposed Wrath on his more extreme tactics

Has the ability to control shadows and others own Anxiety

Hated the dress code that Wrath insists on having. What kind of person wears suspenders and a dress shirt daily anyway?

Still wears the stupid things anyway because Wrath said to and he's not in the mood to get beat

Symbol is tattooed on underneath his shirt. The left side

After adopting Janus he lost his position as Wrath's right hand

Kinda pissed him off when he got demoted. Not bc of the loss of power. But bc he couldn't protect Janus as well

After adopting Janus he became the 4th in power (after Depression)

Remus

Is the epitome of don't give a shit

He has the power to conjure things and cause intrusive thoughts

Half the time he ignores the dress code completely

Typically opting for his normal clothes but does own a uniform as well

(if anyone has a better photo of this outfit pls pls pls DM me. I've looked through hundreds of photos and this is the best dark green dress shirt with suspenders I got)

Symbol is tattooed on the swell of his back

Gets practically no opinion on dealings or decisions with plans

Remus is a indifferent party. One moment he'll help you. The next he'll stab you in the back

He mostly just works with who can give him what he wants the fastest

He actually feels pity for Janus

Not like he'll ever act on that but he still feels a bit bad for the guy

Remus is kinda like that uncle at family get togethers that no-one talks to or cares about but he's always there

Janus

Oh boy, where to start?

Has the lowest rank out of every other side

His power (the ability to make people unable to talk) can only be used on the light side of the mind

He is also unable to heal immediately on the dark side

Meaning that he has to treat his wounds the old fashioned way

Doesn't really like the dress code

Only gets to wear his normal outfit when he's visting the light sides

Blond hair (wow! Really? Not like its the the name of the au!!)

His patch isn't a tattoo

This boi has the biggest fucking sweet tooth you could ever imagine

He is also so fucking short

His shoes have lifts to make him taller

He's cold blooded

When he gets focused, he bleps

This is turning fluffy-

He is literally covered head to toe in scars

Almost no skin was left untouched

Lying is a defense mechanism for him. He's deceit! He can lie his way out of anything!

Heavily disagrees on Wraths views

Thomas should get ahead, of course he should. But that shouldn't come at the price of someones life or the cost of his reputation

Hurting someone to get ahead in the short-term is only going to harm you in the long term

To hide the bruses, he applies thick layers of makeup and illusions if he's on the light side

Hasn't gotten a good sleep in years

He's terrified that someone will break into in bedroom while he's sleeping and finish him off

Or that they'll cut the heating again and he'll slowly freeze to death

Or that they'll drag him out of his room and chain him up somewhere to become nothing but a punching bag

He has agoraphobia (fear of open spaces)

Hasn't had positive touch since Virgil left

He has venom. Its very lethal and only activates when threatened

When angry, his eyes glow yellow and his canine teeth grow sharp and long that they stick out of his mouth slightly like fangs

Was meant to be a light side and function as Validity and Societal Self Preservation. But the dark sides found him first and brought him back with them

Virgil is his father figure

Doesn't really know how to feel after finding out that he's not a dark side

He does feel really really lied to and betrayed

But... Virgil is his dad. Virgil raised him

How could he be upset?

Writes down all of his thoughts and complaints in journals that he keeps in his room

He started writing journals when he was very young, so there is hundreds of them

Honestly doesn't know how to feel about him being a light side.

He's mad at Wrath. He knows that. But he can't do anything because his powers don't work on the dark side

He might as well be powerless.

When on the light side (so when all his powers work) his powers include: silencing others, the ability to repress sides/ make them unable to appear to Thomas and illusions.

His title is technically Validity with the added function of societal self preservation

Still goes by Deceit anyway

----

Has three brands burned onto him via Apathy

Is on his left ankle. Its his snake symbol. About the size of your fist

On his right bicep. The word "monster" in bolded writing. About two fingers in thickness.

Left chest, above his heart. The words "Property of the Dark Sides" in cursive text. The writing sits in a box.

All the brands are extremely painful for Janus if touched. Brand #3 is the brand he hates the most

His scales are more in patches then a perfect 50/50 split down his body

More will be added in the future.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph! Do you have any fics where Sherlock gets possessive and jealous over John... possibly without him knowing? (I don't care if it's NSFW or not)

Hi Nonny!!!

Ahhh, I’ve actually JUST recently posted up my latest “Jealous Sherlock” fics in my Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5 combo fic list, so you can check those out there! But the reason I’m posting your ask separately is because I have new fics to add to my possessive Sherlock fic list, so YAY! And as always, Lovelies, please add your own Possessive Sherlock fics to this post if you have any!

POSSESSIVE/OBSESSIVE SHERLOCK Pt 2

See also: 

Jealous & Possessive Sherlock

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Burn Burn by Jenn1984 (K+, 925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Angst, Worried / Panicked / Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock) – A week after the events of “The Great Game”, Sherlock returns to 221B Baker Street to find it empty.

One in Ten Thousand by Blind Author (K+, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Discussions of Violence, Worried then Curious Sherlock, Scars/John’s Bullet Wound, Medical Anomalies, Obsessive Sherlock) – John seems to have unusual mobility for a shoulder wound…

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious / Obsessive Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing, Obsessive Sherlock) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock’s kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

On a Sunday Morning by SD_Ryan (G, 3,136 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock has a little problem. He can’t stop obsessing about John Watson.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock, Obsessive Sherlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension, Obsessive Sherlock) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

In the cherry blossom’s shade by Eliane (M, 3,934 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, First Time / Kiss, Sleeping Together, Pining / Obsessive Sherlock, Minor Char. Death) – This isn’t new. Sherlock has already done this – has gone through cities, and dingy hotels, and sleepless nights but it was different before. John wasn’t there before. They’re in this together.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Obsession, Appassionato by shinychimera, Yeomanrand (E, 4,249 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, First Time, Jealous Sherlock, Music / Sherlock’s Violin, Present Tense, Frottage) – John is late, and he hasn’t called, and Sherlock works himself into a state. Part 1 of Love and Ysaye

The Strait of Juan de Fuca by mightypog (T, 6,400 w., 1 Ch. || Vacation, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Canada, Post-TRF, Love Confessions, Obsessive Sherlock) – Sherlock is back and all seems forgiven, but something is missing between him and John. Their friendship initially appears intact, but Sherlock doesn’t understand why John seems to be slipping away. Finally, in terror, he tries to reconnect with John by taking him to the one place that seems to inspire any emotional interest in John any more: the Canadian wilderness. While there, Sherlock faces his greatest fear.

Of Razors, Pipes, Red Notebooks and Rugby Jerseys, Or: Sherlock Doesn’t Like His Doctors Clean Shaven by allonsys_girl (E, 7,313 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., PWP / Porn With Feelings, John’s Beard / Beard Kink, Roleplay, Love Declarations, Banter, Rimming, Anal, Domestic Fluff / Bliss, Idiots in Love, Emotional Lovemaking, Pet Names, Obsessive Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock) – John grows a beard. Sherlock really likes it. Part 1 of Consulting Husbands

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling, Obsessive Sherlock) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

Always the sun by Rose de Sharon (K+, 12,377 w., 3 Ch. || Song Fic, Alternate Post-TGG, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection / Reflection, Injury Recovery, Obsessive / Protective Sherlock, Nightmares, John’s Past, Bed Sharing / Cuddles) – Sherlock ponders about how much his life has changed since John has become his flatmate.

Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w., 1 Ch. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining /Obsessive Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!)

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John, Obsessive Sherlock) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he’d been craving.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy/Obsessive Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn’t walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn’t It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock’s forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don’t worry, things’ll be fine in just seven days.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate’s nose buried in your hair. Whilst you’re in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It’s 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn’t need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

[thebrotherssalvatore321]

Keeping Secrets Ch. 1

Keeping Secrets Masterlist

Pairing: DamonxOc. TylerxOc in future chapters, ElijahxOc, KlausxOc is endgame. She’s never sleeping with more than one guy at a time. This is just a long story with 25 chapters so far that I’m also posting on FanFiction.net. Warnings: She does however cheat on someone in future chapters if that counts as a warning.

Keeping Secrets 

Katie Finnegan’s house sat on a beautiful street lined with beautiful houses. It was actually right down the street from her best friend Elena’s. Elena had recently lost her parents and was now under the guardianship of her aunt Jenna. It was a bleak situation, but one that Elena and her brother Jeremy could with time bounce back from with the loving support of their aunt. Katie on the other hand had long been plagued by the loss of her parents who died from a cause unknown to her when she was just ten years old.

Unlike Elena and Jeremy, Katie didn’t have any loving aunts or uncles to take her in. All she had was the abusive grandfather who she had never even met despite the fact that he lived in the same town that she did. She didn’t even know what he looked like until he showed up on the doorsteps of her parents house with a suitcase and two moving trucks. One was for her parents stuff to be packed up and auctioned off and the other was full of his.

Only after he showed up did she realize that she had seen him around town, but her parents never acknowledged him. At first she couldn’t understand it. For the first few months he was okay. He didn’t talk to her or play with her much but that was fine with her since she was always good at playing by herself, but once the social workers stopped coming by to make sure she was settling in okay, things started taking a turn for the worse. If she accidentally spilled her drink or dropped even a crumb he would lash out at her. Then she started understanding why her mother ran away with her father at the age of seventeen.

As she got older she got to know how to stay out of his way when he was sober, but when he was drunk there was no avoiding him. By the time she was seventeen she was sneaking out of the house on weekly biases just to get away from him. She thought over the years that her friends, Elena, Caroline and Bonnie would have figured out what was happening to her at home, but they never did. She became too good at hiding it and brushing off the bruises and cuts as her being clumsy. So they never asked more and she never told. She put on a good face and acted like every other sporty teen age girl looking forward to getting into college on a scholarship. She dreamed of the day she could leave Mystic Falls in her rear view and never look back.

Chapter 1

Katie Finnegan sat at the dimly lit roll top desk, in her bedroom writing in a spiral notebook that had the word journal written on the front cover in black ink. Her auburn waves, tamed with just the right amount of styling product, hung around her face and she tucked one tendril behind her ear then pushed her glasses up her nose and continued writing. "Today was the second day of school. Summer is officially over, no more avoiding my friends as much as possible. I saw Caroline and Bonnie at cheer camp, but Elena didn’t make it this year. So it's back to the real world. And the real world has given us high school girls some new eye candy. His name is Stefan and he already has eyes only for Elena. Although, it seems like Caroline is going to give her a run for her money. She's already practically stalking the guy. I'm supposed to be getting ready to go to the stupid back to school bonfire tonight, but I don't really want to go. Why would I? It's just going to be a bunch of people getting drunk and hooking up and that will just remind me that no one wants to be with me. I'm invisible. Sometimes I think I'm just a ghost that only my friends can see and sometimes even they don't see me. I'm not looking forward to sneaking out tonight. Last time I got caught Grandpa nearly beat me to death. But I have to go tonight otherwise I will never hear the end of it from Caroline in the morning. So I’ll talk to you later, Journal."

Katie tucked the pen inside, closed the book and pushed it away from her. With a sigh she pulled on a pair of dark wash distressed jeans, a black ac dc tank top and her favorite black leather jacket that she'd found for a good price at the local resale shop. She finished the look off with red converse and touch of tastefully smudged eyeliner.

With tentative steps she pushed open her bedroom window and eased herself out onto the roof. After glancing over the edge to make sure her grandpa wasn't waiting for her at the bottom like the last time, she started climbing down the surprisingly strong rose trellis. Now that she was safely out of the house she put her car into neutral and pushed it a few blocks away then started it and headed to the party.

The party was what she expected it to be and after drinking a few cups of beer and having a few laughs with Bonnie, she decided to stop, otherwise she wouldn't be able to climb back up to her room. She was tossing her empty cup into the trash when she spotted Stefan, who had taken up most of Elena's time, near the treeline watching her talk to her ex boyfriend Matt. Excusing herself from Bonnie who was telling her how she saw a crow when she touched Elena's hand she headed over to Stefan. "Hey." She greeted him with a small smile that he returned with his own greeting as if he didn't want to talk to her. "Don't worry unlike every other girl at this party I'm not going to throw myself at you." She laughed as she moved to stand a few feet beside him, making Stefan surprisingly give her a laugh and a genuine smile. "I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Katie, Elena's friend." She informed him. "I saw you over here looking all jealous and I figured I'd let you know that you don't need to be."

"Yeah, why's that?" He asked turning toward her without moving his feet as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I know it's not my place to say and I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, but...she's over Matt. Has been for a long time now. She just couldn't make herself hurt him." She answered. "She's sweet like that."

"Well, you're..."

"Weird." She finished since it seemed like he was looking for the right word to describe her.

"I was going to say forward, but weird works." He laughed. "You know, you're the first girl that hasn't tried to hit on me since I got to this school. It's kinda refreshing, but I don't get it." He looked at her with pursed lips and puzzled eyes. "Why are you trying to help me get the girl?" Stefan asked.

"Because I’m weird.” Katie answered as if she were trying to sound mysterious then laughed. “Na, it’s really because I knew I didn't stand a chance." She answered as she dropped her eyes to the ground then got quiet for a second. "And also because she's one of my best friends and she's had a hard year. She could use a little happiness."

"How do you know I'll make her happy?" He asked with a tight lipped smile.

Katie glanced up at where Matt and Elena had been to see that Matt was gone and Elena was looking at the two of them. "Because," she started then turned to look at Stefan across her shoulder, "now she's the one looking jealous."

She was pretty sure that once Stefan looked at Elena he forgot all about her. So she went back to the party, meeting Bonnie at the top of the small hill. "Hey, where you goin'?" Bonnie asked when Katie walked past her.

"The grill. I need coffee if I'm going to sober up enough to get home before Grandpa leaves for work and realizes my car isn't there." She replied and kept walking.

"Okay, we’ll meet you there later." Bonnie called after her and Katie waved over her shoulder letting her friend know she heard her.

After getting a hot coffee Katie chose a table outside and pulled the book they had been assigned for English out of her bag. She was half way through the assigned chapters when sirens started blaring and cop cars sped past the grill toward the party. After they passed out of sight her phone vibrated and she looked at the screen to see a text from Bonnie that said, "Vicki was attacked by an animal."

She didn't have enough minutes left on her phone to text Bonnie back, so she called her since it was free. "Hey, what do you mean she was attacked by an animal? Is everyone okay?"

"I don't know, Elena and Jeremy found her in the woods with some kind of bite on her neck. No one else seems to be hurt, but they’re putting Vicki in an ambulance right now." Bonnie answered, sounding worried and tense.

"Oh my god, do I need to come back?" Katie pressed her fingertips to her lips not knowing what else she could say.

"No, me and Caroline are about to head your way. We’re gonna sober up while we wait for news." Bonnie told her.

"Okay, just...stay safe okay?" She got a positive answer from Bonnie then hung up the phone. Not being able to read anymore she tucked the book into her bag and focused on sipping the still hot coffee. Ten minutes later Bonnie pulled up and parked in front of the grill. They got a table inside and the other two girls ordered coffee.

"Why didn't he go for me?" Caroline asked sounding whinier than usual, clearly talking about Stefan. "How come the guys that I want never want me?"

"I'm not gonna touch that one." Bonnie answered.

Caroline looked to Katie for answers. "Yeah, I'm not answering that either."

"I'm inappropriate. I always say the wrong thing..." She started listing off the things wrong with herself. Katie pulled a I'm gonna keep my mouth shut look and took a sip of lukewarm coffee. "And Elena always says the right thing. God, she doesn't even try and he just picks her. She's the one that everyone picks for everything. I try... SO hard and I'm never the one."

"It's not a competition." Bonnie said, looking at Katie for back up.

"Sorry, Bon, but sometimes it kinda feels like one." Katie said with a shrug.

"See." Caroline said with a motion to Katie. "Thank you."

After things calmed down and Caroline sobered up a little, Bonnie left the table to go pay the bill. Katie looked up from her empty cup and noticed Caroline smiling at someone and followed her gaze to a dark haired, ice blue eyed, gorgeous guy who was smiling back at her. "Looks like you found someone to like you back." Katie told Caroline with a grunt as she slid out of the chair and grabbed her bag. "Tell Bonnie I said good night."

"I will." Caroline replied not breaking eye contact with the guy. Katie just rolled her eyes and walked away.

She managed to sneak successfully back into her room and sat down at her desk, pulling her journal out and flipping to a fresh page. "Well the party was as I predicted it would be, except Vicki Donovan got attacked by some kind of animal. I wasn't there to see it, but it was apparently pretty bad. After the party Caroline, Bonnie and I met up at the grill to sober up. I got to listen to Caroline complain about how she never gets the guy and Elena gets everything. Of course right after this conversation she catches some super hot, blue eyed guy’s attention. Like, I can't stress enough how hot this guy was. The contrast of his dark hair and ice blue eyes was enough to make a girl's heart melt, not to mention the cute smirk he was giving Caroline. I hate to sound like Caroline, but why don't guys ever look at me? I mean I may not be crazy beautiful like Elena, Bonnie and Caroline, but I don't think I'm ugly either. Maybe that's why, because no one notices the average girl. And that's exactly how I would categorize myself. Whatever, who needs a guy anyway? All they bring is trouble. I need sleep. Ttyl Journal."